All language subtitles for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - 3x09 - A Night at the Oprah

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:04,449 --> 00:00:08,112 Will, I can't believe I took your advice about my TV campaign spot. 1 00:00:08,186 --> 00:00:10,450 Uncle Phil, you really would have buried Judge Robertson... 2 00:00:10,522 --> 00:00:13,047 if you would have let me put the Uh-Huh Girls in there with you. 3 00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:16,390 It would have been like, "Banks is the right one, baby, uh-huh!" 4 00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:20,496 - Here it comes. - Come, sit down. 5 00:00:22,534 --> 00:00:25,560 Oh, and by the way, Uncle Phil... 6 00:00:25,771 --> 00:00:29,537 I don't remember if I told you or not, but when I dropped the tape off at the editor... 7 00:00:29,608 --> 00:00:32,509 I just, you know, authorized a few last minute changes. 8 00:00:32,578 --> 00:00:36,446 Y ou authorized a few... Nobody gave you permission to authorize any changes. 9 00:00:36,515 --> 00:00:40,315 No, but it's cool, Uncle Phil, you're going to love it. Here it comes. 10 00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:44,549 Hi, /'m Phi/ip Banks, and /'m running for Superior Court Judge. 11 00:00:53,765 --> 00:00:55,392 What the hell is that? 12 00:00:56,435 --> 00:00:58,528 That was our New y ear's Eve party. 13 00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:01,330 Uncle Phil, you know, I just put in a couple of home movies... 14 00:01:01,406 --> 00:01:02,930 you know, to show your human side. 15 00:01:03,008 --> 00:01:04,908 It gets better, check it out. 16 00:01:05,010 --> 00:01:08,605 And if you put me on the bench, /'// take a rea/ bite out of crime. 17 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,272 Bite. 18 00:01:15,854 --> 00:01:17,754 Vote for Phi/ip Banks. 19 00:01:17,823 --> 00:01:20,485 Phi/ip Banks. 20 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:29,430 Emmy! 21 00:01:31,236 --> 00:01:33,534 Hey, so what do you think, Uncle Phil? 22 00:02:47,713 --> 00:02:48,907 Dad... 23 00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:52,679 Will would like to know if he can please come in. 24 00:03:02,394 --> 00:03:05,295 Come on, Daddy, at least let him sleep in the house. 25 00:03:05,764 --> 00:03:09,700 Come on, Philip, he was only trying to help. Come on, baby, come on in. 26 00:03:18,844 --> 00:03:23,076 Look, Uncle Phil, I know we didn't exactly see eye to eye on the commercial... 27 00:03:23,215 --> 00:03:26,582 - but I got a lot of positive feedback. - Oh, please, from who? 28 00:03:26,718 --> 00:03:30,085 From Latisha. She said you looked really handsome. 29 00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:35,389 But she also thought Delta Burke looked better as a blonde. 30 00:03:37,429 --> 00:03:39,795 - Hi, everybody. - Hey, guys. 31 00:03:41,032 --> 00:03:44,024 Baby, you are positively glowing today. 32 00:03:44,402 --> 00:03:45,460 Thank you. 33 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:48,572 New moisturizer. 34 00:03:48,874 --> 00:03:51,604 We can't all be as blessed as you are, Mom. 35 00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:55,844 Trevor, that's so sweet. But, honey, call me Mrs. Banks. 36 00:04:00,619 --> 00:04:02,917 Home of the Whopper, what's your beef? 37 00:04:06,258 --> 00:04:08,021 Y eah, right. Okay. 38 00:04:08,226 --> 00:04:09,659 Will, who is it? 39 00:04:09,861 --> 00:04:12,557 Some chicken here talking about she from the Oprah Winfrey Show. 40 00:04:12,631 --> 00:04:15,099 That would be for me, homey. 41 00:04:17,202 --> 00:04:18,396 Alexis. 42 00:04:18,703 --> 00:04:20,728 Y es, so did you speak to Oprah yet? 43 00:04:21,206 --> 00:04:23,003 What, you mean this call's legit? 44 00:04:23,074 --> 00:04:25,872 Will, Trevor knows lots of very important people. 45 00:04:25,944 --> 00:04:28,105 So, what about Oprah? Is it a deal? 46 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,511 Super. 47 00:04:29,748 --> 00:04:31,477 I owe you big time, babe. 48 00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:34,610 This is Trevor Collins, goodbye and Godspeed. 49 00:04:38,156 --> 00:04:40,556 What's all this excitement? What's going on? 50 00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,024 I don't know. What's all this excitement? 51 00:04:42,093 --> 00:04:45,187 - We're all going to be on Oprah. - We're all gonna be on Oprah. 52 00:04:45,964 --> 00:04:48,797 And it's all thanks to Trevor. 53 00:04:48,867 --> 00:04:50,334 Well... 54 00:04:53,338 --> 00:04:56,967 Wait a minute. Trevor, why should Oprah care anything about us? 55 00:04:57,042 --> 00:04:59,670 Well, actually, Phil, she doesn't, you're nobody. 56 00:04:59,744 --> 00:05:03,680 But Alexis, the woman who books the show, is an old friend of Trevor's. 57 00:05:03,882 --> 00:05:06,180 I kind of got the feeling she had a crush on you. 58 00:05:06,251 --> 00:05:08,344 Well... 59 00:05:08,420 --> 00:05:11,912 Actually, she had the cutest little nickname for me. 60 00:05:12,157 --> 00:05:13,886 - What was it? - God. 61 00:05:19,064 --> 00:05:22,261 Anyway, Alexis said I couldn't have called at a better time. 62 00:05:22,334 --> 00:05:25,269 They're doing a show about political candidates and their families... 63 00:05:25,337 --> 00:05:28,363 and she said that one of the families just dropped out. 64 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,534 So they're flying all of us to Chicago tomorrow morning. 65 00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:35,046 I'm so excited. I have always wanted to go to Chicago. 66 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,375 Wait, am I going to need a passport? 67 00:05:40,151 --> 00:05:43,746 All right, I got things to do. I got to get a new fade. 68 00:05:43,922 --> 00:05:46,914 I got to get some new shoestrings for my Doc Martens. Oh, man. 69 00:05:46,992 --> 00:05:48,823 I'm going to be on Oprah! 70 00:05:50,195 --> 00:05:53,187 Phil, I hate to bust the boy's balloon... 71 00:05:53,398 --> 00:05:56,561 but Alexis said she could only book the immediate family. 72 00:05:57,369 --> 00:05:58,996 Y ou mean Will can't go? 73 00:05:59,571 --> 00:06:01,368 That's darned unfair. 74 00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:04,800 And I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say: 75 00:06:04,876 --> 00:06:06,605 "What am I going to wear?" 76 00:06:10,782 --> 00:06:12,147 Philip... 77 00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:15,350 honey, how can we disappoint Will? He's a part of this family. 78 00:06:15,420 --> 00:06:17,980 No, Vivian, he's a part of your family. 79 00:06:18,189 --> 00:06:21,056 I'm sorry, sweetheart, but he's damaged my campaign enough. 80 00:06:21,126 --> 00:06:23,094 And the sooner we tell him he's not coming with us... 81 00:06:23,161 --> 00:06:24,389 the easier it will be on him. 82 00:06:24,462 --> 00:06:27,158 Hey, Mom, guess what, I'm going to be on Oprah. 83 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,264 And as soon as you tell him, let me know. 84 00:06:38,576 --> 00:06:39,634 Morning. 85 00:06:39,711 --> 00:06:42,703 Philip, honey, how come you're not dressed? We're leaving in an hour. 86 00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:45,147 Oh, sweetheart, relax. We have plenty of time. 87 00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:48,743 So how did Will take it when you finally broke the news to him? 88 00:06:49,154 --> 00:06:51,179 I'm sorry, I couldn't tell him. 89 00:06:51,256 --> 00:06:53,747 Fine, I'll tell him. 90 00:06:54,059 --> 00:06:56,220 How difficult could it possibly be? 91 00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:05,363 So, what do you think? 92 00:07:06,137 --> 00:07:07,502 Have we met? 93 00:07:08,974 --> 00:07:13,206 Come on, Uncle Phil, I just wanted to fit in with you all when we go on Oprah. 94 00:07:14,479 --> 00:07:16,709 Hey, look, Uncle Phil... 95 00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:21,374 I got to tell you, man, taking me to Chicago with you... 96 00:07:22,187 --> 00:07:23,984 that really means a lot to me. 97 00:07:24,055 --> 00:07:25,113 Y eah, you know, Will, there... 98 00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:26,919 And it ain't just because I promised Latisha... 99 00:07:26,992 --> 00:07:29,460 I was going to scream her name out on TV. 100 00:07:30,095 --> 00:07:34,054 It's because, you know, you really make me feel like part of your family. 101 00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:49,805 Thanks a lot, Uncle Phil. I guess I'll just go out in the car... 102 00:07:49,881 --> 00:07:52,008 and wait quietly in the back seat. 103 00:07:57,655 --> 00:08:01,022 - Well, that's telling him, Philip. - All right, look... 104 00:08:01,092 --> 00:08:03,117 he can go to Chicago with us and watch the show... 105 00:08:03,194 --> 00:08:05,560 - but we have to tell him on the plane. - Okay. 106 00:08:06,598 --> 00:08:10,534 - Excuse me, sir, are you Will Smith? - Y es, stewardess. 107 00:08:10,769 --> 00:08:13,033 Y our family asked me to speak to you. 108 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:18,402 Wow, I'm sorry for staring, but... 109 00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:20,541 man, girl, you real fine. 110 00:08:20,912 --> 00:08:24,040 Y ou know, I was a little nervous about flying, but... 111 00:08:24,115 --> 00:08:27,175 as long as I can look at you, I know I'll be all right. 112 00:08:27,652 --> 00:08:30,143 I'm sorry, what was you going to say to me? 113 00:08:30,488 --> 00:08:32,456 Can I fluff your pillow? 114 00:08:40,465 --> 00:08:42,524 Wow. Look at this. 115 00:08:43,535 --> 00:08:45,594 Vivian, this is absurd. 116 00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:49,663 We're going to be on the air in 10 minutes. We have got to tell Will now. 117 00:08:52,177 --> 00:08:53,974 Oprah Winfrey's studio. 118 00:08:54,045 --> 00:08:56,536 Hey, come on you all, let's get a picture. 119 00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:01,375 Uncle Phil, I'll get you in one later. 120 00:09:03,421 --> 00:09:05,184 Look, Oprah's chair. 121 00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:10,523 I'm gonna send this to my mom. 122 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,955 Honey, couldn't we just put him to sleep? 123 00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:19,698 Y ou must be the Banks family. Hi, I'm Alexis. 124 00:09:19,771 --> 00:09:23,002 Hi. I'm glad you could make it on such short notice. 125 00:09:23,074 --> 00:09:25,542 - Well, thank you for having us. - Sure. 126 00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:28,909 Listen, just make yourselves at home and I'll be right back. 127 00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:34,712 - Y ou have beautiful hair. - I know. 128 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,492 So, that's Trevor's old girlfriend, huh? 129 00:09:44,562 --> 00:09:47,087 Y eah, wonder what he ever saw in her. 130 00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:52,633 Okay, everybody remember, Dad's got an image to uphold here. 131 00:09:52,704 --> 00:09:55,172 So let's conduct ourselves with dignity. 132 00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:04,040 Look, Mommy, Daddy, look! 133 00:10:07,218 --> 00:10:08,310 Y ou... 134 00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:10,710 y ou're Oprah Winfrey. 135 00:10:10,788 --> 00:10:13,689 - I am and that means you must be... - Ashley. 136 00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:15,248 It's nice to meet you. 137 00:10:15,326 --> 00:10:17,988 - We're the Banks. - Hey, great, you made it. 138 00:10:18,062 --> 00:10:21,498 - Welcome to Chicago. - Thank you, this is a real pleasure. 139 00:10:21,566 --> 00:10:25,332 I'm Philip Banks. This is Hilary, Carlton, Ashley... 140 00:10:25,403 --> 00:10:26,631 and... 141 00:10:26,704 --> 00:10:28,069 - Vivian! - Y es. 142 00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:31,101 Hi, I'm a very big fan. 143 00:10:31,176 --> 00:10:34,077 Y ou sure are. It's my pleasure. 144 00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:37,070 Oprah, I always love your clothes. 145 00:10:37,782 --> 00:10:40,080 And that's such a gorgeous suit. 146 00:10:40,185 --> 00:10:44,781 Well, I tell you what, if you really like it, I will send you one in your size. 147 00:10:45,456 --> 00:10:49,085 Wow! I always heard that you were generous, but... 148 00:10:49,494 --> 00:10:51,724 Oh, my God, I can't believe this. 149 00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:54,029 Me neither. 150 00:10:54,098 --> 00:10:56,896 Gee, Oprah, I really like that diamond bracelet. 151 00:10:58,670 --> 00:10:59,762 Nice try. 152 00:10:59,837 --> 00:11:01,998 Hey, I tell you what, I'll see you guys on the show. 153 00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:04,940 - Okay? See you on TV. Have a good show. - Thank you. 154 00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,423 Hey, that's it. 155 00:11:22,627 --> 00:11:25,960 That's the theme music. Come on, it's time to go, posse up. 156 00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:30,298 Come on. 157 00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:34,131 Come on, guys, it's time to go. 158 00:11:34,205 --> 00:11:35,399 - Philip. - All right. 159 00:11:35,473 --> 00:11:37,407 It's time to stop beating around the bush. 160 00:11:37,475 --> 00:11:40,638 Okay, everybody who's going to be on the Oprah Show, take one step forward. 161 00:11:40,712 --> 00:11:42,111 Not so fast, Will. 162 00:11:52,857 --> 00:11:55,655 Y ou know, all families have their problems, but... 163 00:11:55,727 --> 00:11:59,356 how would you like to have your family's dirty laundry... 164 00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:01,364 seen in tomorrow's newspaper? 165 00:12:01,432 --> 00:12:05,391 Well, that's an everyday experience for most political families. 166 00:12:05,536 --> 00:12:09,028 Please help me welcome my guests today. Sen. Howard Lloyd... 167 00:12:09,107 --> 00:12:11,701 his wife Pamela and their daughter, Lydia. 168 00:12:15,346 --> 00:12:17,974 And Superior Court hopeful, Philip Banks... 169 00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:22,418 his wife, Vivian, and their children, Hilary, Carlton, and Ashley. 170 00:12:27,225 --> 00:12:30,194 So, Sen. Lloyd, my first question is to you. 171 00:12:30,261 --> 00:12:33,059 Now you've been a member of the Senate for quite some time. 172 00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:35,292 Tell me I can't be on Oprah. 173 00:12:35,867 --> 00:12:37,391 Hey, brother, you mind sliding inside... 174 00:12:37,468 --> 00:12:39,868 my legs are kind of long, I'd like to sit here. 175 00:12:40,571 --> 00:12:42,095 Oh, excuse me. 176 00:12:43,107 --> 00:12:47,203 Philip Banks, you were a successful attorney with your own private practice... 177 00:12:47,278 --> 00:12:48,506 in Beverly Hills. 178 00:12:48,579 --> 00:12:51,980 And now, you're running for Superior Court Judge. 179 00:12:52,283 --> 00:12:54,513 We all know that's quite a career change. 180 00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:56,712 What do you hope to get out of it? 181 00:12:56,821 --> 00:13:00,188 I hope to make some changes in the judicial system and, well... 182 00:13:00,258 --> 00:13:02,283 I've always wanted my own gavel. 183 00:13:11,436 --> 00:13:13,165 Oprah, I have a question. 184 00:13:13,438 --> 00:13:16,669 We're not ready for that portion of the show just yet, but, Mrs. Banks... 185 00:13:16,741 --> 00:13:20,074 - answer me this if you will. - I'm Will, Oprah, I can answer it. 186 00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:22,135 - Come here. - Come? Me come? 187 00:13:22,213 --> 00:13:24,238 Come here. Come on. 188 00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:29,017 Okay, see, this is it. I'm the one with the microphone. 189 00:13:29,354 --> 00:13:32,585 And you can't answer a question until I ask the question. 190 00:13:32,657 --> 00:13:33,783 Y ou understand how it works? 191 00:13:33,858 --> 00:13:36,759 Y ou ask then I answer. It works like... 192 00:13:36,828 --> 00:13:38,591 Good. Now sit down. 193 00:13:39,397 --> 00:13:40,659 Sit down. 194 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,900 My God. Vivian, is that Will? 195 00:13:45,303 --> 00:13:48,238 No, Philip, it's Richard Nixon wearing a Will mask. 196 00:13:50,274 --> 00:13:52,868 No, Mom, I think that really is Will. 197 00:13:54,278 --> 00:13:57,509 So, Lydia, you've spent most of your life on Capitol Hill. 198 00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,115 - Did that have any... - Oh, Oprah. 199 00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:01,916 Y oung brother... 200 00:14:03,221 --> 00:14:04,415 what do you want? 201 00:14:04,489 --> 00:14:07,583 I was just wondering, is it the question portion yet? 202 00:14:07,825 --> 00:14:09,884 - Do you have a question? - Y es. 203 00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:11,792 Okay, what is your question? 204 00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:14,462 I have a question for Sen. Lloyd. 205 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:19,962 Senator, let's say that, you know, you had a young urban handsome nephew. 206 00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:23,063 Would you let him come on the Oprah Winfrey Show with you? 207 00:14:23,141 --> 00:14:27,510 Well, I sure would, son. And let me say, I love your Leslie Uggams. 208 00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:33,414 Thanks. 209 00:14:33,518 --> 00:14:36,078 - My next question is for Mr. Banks. - Two questions? 210 00:14:36,154 --> 00:14:37,712 Y eah. Mr. Banks... 211 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,485 would you let your nephew come on the Oprah Winfrey Show... 212 00:14:40,558 --> 00:14:43,652 or would you make him fly all the way to Chicago for nothing... 213 00:14:43,728 --> 00:14:47,061 to sit out in the audience, to be embarrassed in front of his girl. 214 00:14:47,131 --> 00:14:48,564 Hi, Latisha. Huh? 215 00:14:56,207 --> 00:14:59,438 And after I got out of Betty Ford... 216 00:15:00,211 --> 00:15:03,669 I started a new life with the Maharishi Anaghanda. 217 00:15:09,687 --> 00:15:11,678 Y ou are so brave. 218 00:15:11,756 --> 00:15:14,350 I mean, wearing red shoes with a pink dress. 219 00:15:17,161 --> 00:15:19,425 I have a question for Mr. Banks. 220 00:15:19,497 --> 00:15:22,364 Has being in politics ruined your sex life? 221 00:15:22,433 --> 00:15:24,697 No, mine's great, how's yours, honey? 222 00:15:27,772 --> 00:15:29,706 Oprah, I have a question. 223 00:15:30,208 --> 00:15:32,472 Will, I missed you. Okay. 224 00:15:33,444 --> 00:15:35,344 My question is for Mrs. Banks. 225 00:15:36,113 --> 00:15:40,049 Mrs. Banks, let's say that your oldest sister, who sacrificed... 226 00:15:40,184 --> 00:15:43,051 her whole life to raise you, sent her only son... 227 00:15:43,221 --> 00:15:46,713 out to live with you and you promised to treat him like your own. 228 00:15:46,791 --> 00:15:50,227 And just for the sake of argument, let's call him Will. 229 00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:55,694 Would you bring him on the Oprah Winfrey Show with you... 230 00:15:55,766 --> 00:15:58,758 or would you make him sit in the audience like you're ashamed of him? 231 00:15:58,836 --> 00:16:01,270 We're not ashamed of you. It's just... 232 00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:04,437 Sit down, shut up, and behave yourself. 233 00:16:05,042 --> 00:16:09,138 Okay, let me take a wild stab in the dark here. 234 00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:11,105 Y ou all are related? 235 00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:17,580 Y es, Oprah. 236 00:16:18,589 --> 00:16:21,285 See, it's all coming out, it's all coming out. 237 00:16:22,994 --> 00:16:25,485 Anybody got a tissue, anybody? 238 00:16:27,431 --> 00:16:28,989 Thank you. Y es. 239 00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:31,260 Here, you poor sweetheart. Blow. 240 00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:34,537 Y ou poor baby. 241 00:16:36,641 --> 00:16:39,610 I mean, I think this is terrible. This is... 242 00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:42,941 y ou should go up there and be with your family, where you belong. 243 00:16:43,014 --> 00:16:44,106 Don't you think so, audience? 244 00:16:44,181 --> 00:16:47,344 Go on up there and be with your family, where you belong. 245 00:16:52,957 --> 00:16:54,788 Move, Ashley, move. 246 00:16:57,128 --> 00:16:58,527 Thank you, Oprah. 247 00:16:59,597 --> 00:17:03,590 Y ou know, Oprah, there's a perfectly logical explanation for... 248 00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:07,128 y es, yes. 249 00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:11,066 Oprah, this guy can't even run his own home. 250 00:17:11,142 --> 00:17:13,440 Why should he be elected to office? 251 00:17:16,247 --> 00:17:19,739 Excuse me, miss, but my husband would make an excellent judge. 252 00:17:19,817 --> 00:17:22,945 He is a wonderful husband and a devoted father. 253 00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:26,319 Well, Vivian, I must say that, yes, you're right. 254 00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:31,191 This looks like it's a very lovely family, but I've been doing shows a long time. 255 00:17:31,395 --> 00:17:35,661 And one of the things I've learned is things are not always as they seem. 256 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,666 Oprah, believe me, my dad is a great guy. 257 00:17:39,737 --> 00:17:42,729 I mean, when I lost my job and he kicked me out of the house... 258 00:17:42,807 --> 00:17:44,775 he let me live out back. 259 00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:50,142 He kicked you out of the house? 260 00:17:50,214 --> 00:17:52,546 Well, he didn't actually kick her out of the house. 261 00:17:52,617 --> 00:17:56,576 He just changed all the locks and told her she didn't live there anymore. 262 00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:01,185 Mr. Banks, is that true? 263 00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:04,818 Well, I didn't change all the locks, and... 264 00:18:04,895 --> 00:18:08,194 and she's not living out back, she's living in the pool house. 265 00:18:08,265 --> 00:18:12,167 Well, with the big pay cut you'll have to take, we'll all be living in the pool house. 266 00:18:12,236 --> 00:18:16,502 Look, you can forget it. There's hardly enough room for Trevor and I, as it is. 267 00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:19,907 What is Trevor doing in the pool house? 268 00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:22,945 Y es, Hilary, what is Trevor doing in the pool house? 269 00:18:23,514 --> 00:18:26,608 Y eah, this is good now, this is good. I feel like we... 270 00:18:26,684 --> 00:18:28,675 I think we're getting somewhere. 271 00:18:28,753 --> 00:18:29,845 Listen to me. 272 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,718 Hilary, you are not to have men in the pool house. 273 00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:36,988 Look, I don't like to tell tales out of school, but Trevor keeps a make-up case there. 274 00:18:37,061 --> 00:18:38,995 - That's a lie. - Is not. 275 00:18:39,063 --> 00:18:41,531 Stand on a chair and say that to my face. 276 00:18:42,466 --> 00:18:46,835 Y ou have both lost your American Express cards. Do you want to work on your Visa? 277 00:18:49,306 --> 00:18:52,969 These candidates before you say they want to be elected to public office... 278 00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,739 but it seems like... 279 00:18:54,979 --> 00:18:57,948 they can't even keep the peace in their own families. 280 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:02,781 Mr. Banks, what do you have to say on your family's behalf? 281 00:19:03,454 --> 00:19:05,046 Well, Oprah... 282 00:19:10,428 --> 00:19:11,793 What's the point? 283 00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:16,359 - Look, Oprah, I have something to say. - What a surprise. 284 00:19:17,535 --> 00:19:20,732 Now, look, my uncle brought me out from Philadelphia to live with him... 285 00:19:20,805 --> 00:19:22,705 so I could get a head start in life. 286 00:19:22,773 --> 00:19:25,298 And, now, we have some problems, but what family doesn't? 287 00:19:25,376 --> 00:19:29,142 All I know is when I need these people, they are right there for me. 288 00:19:34,719 --> 00:19:36,744 That's nice of you to say, Will. 289 00:19:36,821 --> 00:19:40,587 Well, if you ask me your whole damn family is crazy. 290 00:19:45,362 --> 00:19:48,798 All right, see brother, if we was in Philly, it might have to be something. 291 00:19:48,866 --> 00:19:51,733 But we on TV and I believe Martin's philosophy... 292 00:19:51,802 --> 00:19:54,100 non-violence, so I'm going to chill. I'm going to chill. 293 00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:56,901 And if your mama sent you out here to live with them... 294 00:19:56,974 --> 00:19:58,566 then she's crazy, too. 295 00:20:02,046 --> 00:20:05,072 Hey, man, don't nobody talk about my mother, man. 296 00:20:09,887 --> 00:20:11,411 We'll be right back. 297 00:20:21,265 --> 00:20:22,630 Hey, Ms. Winfrey. 298 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,467 Will, I'll tell you what... 299 00:20:24,535 --> 00:20:28,027 you know, after all we've been through, you can call me Oprah. 300 00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:30,807 Y ou got it, Ope... 301 00:20:32,243 --> 00:20:34,074 Oprah. 302 00:20:35,713 --> 00:20:37,578 Y ou know, your initials, O. W? 303 00:20:37,648 --> 00:20:40,116 Did anybody ever tell you that spells "ow"? 304 00:20:41,318 --> 00:20:42,649 I knew that. 305 00:20:43,187 --> 00:20:44,677 Look, Oprah... 306 00:20:46,023 --> 00:20:48,514 I hope I didn't mess your show up too much. 307 00:20:48,893 --> 00:20:51,361 And I'm really sorry for the way I acted. 308 00:20:51,562 --> 00:20:55,862 Listen, don't you apologize, because I'm thinking it was a great experience. 309 00:20:56,934 --> 00:20:58,834 - Really? - Absolutely. 310 00:20:59,136 --> 00:21:01,161 As a matter of fact, here... 311 00:21:02,873 --> 00:21:04,135 What's this? 312 00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:07,041 Two free tickets to the Donahue Show. 313 00:21:08,045 --> 00:21:10,445 Tell Phil Oprah said, "Hi." 314 00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:14,549 She likes me. 315 00:21:17,588 --> 00:21:19,715 On the nationa/ po/itica/ scene... 316 00:21:19,924 --> 00:21:23,553 Come on, we've heard enough, turn the TV down. Come on, Will. 317 00:21:23,627 --> 00:21:25,561 I'm sorry, Aunt Viv. 318 00:21:25,729 --> 00:21:28,391 Will, you're smiling like Dad does when he finishes... 319 00:21:28,465 --> 00:21:30,990 the Happy Birthday bucket at Baskin-Robbins. 320 00:21:35,773 --> 00:21:39,334 Man, you scream your girl's name out on TV, you'd be smiling, too. 321 00:21:40,311 --> 00:21:43,280 - Look, Dad, the poll results are up next. - Oh, goody. 322 00:21:43,914 --> 00:21:47,406 Come on, Daddy. I bet being on Oprah really helped you in the polls. 323 00:21:47,484 --> 00:21:48,781 I'm not worried. 324 00:21:48,853 --> 00:21:51,686 Y ou know, I was going about this all wrong. 325 00:21:51,922 --> 00:21:55,653 I was trying to come across as the perfect candidate with the perfect family. 326 00:21:55,726 --> 00:21:58,661 Voters want a candidate that's human, flawed. 327 00:21:58,996 --> 00:22:00,691 And in /oca/ po/itics... 328 00:22:00,798 --> 00:22:04,290 Phi/ip Banks has p/ummeted another 8 points in the po//s. 329 00:22:06,770 --> 00:22:10,206 Oh, come on, honey, don't worry. Y ou're going to win. 330 00:22:12,776 --> 00:22:15,108 Uncle Phil, you're going to win. 331 00:22:15,679 --> 00:22:18,273 And you know why? 'Cause you're a decent man. 332 00:22:18,616 --> 00:22:21,278 I mean, you brought a kid out from West Philly... 333 00:22:21,352 --> 00:22:23,650 and you made him feel at home in your house. 334 00:22:23,721 --> 00:22:27,020 I mean, there is no way that Judge Robertson can compete with that. 335 00:22:27,091 --> 00:22:30,083 And in a re/ated story, Judge Car/ Robertson... 336 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,994 announced today that he is adopting 12 ghetto youths. 337 00:22:39,303 --> 00:22:40,668 Oh, well. 338 00:22:48,312 --> 00:22:50,576 Y ou have both lost your... 339 00:22:53,417 --> 00:22:55,578 y ou have both lost your American... 340 00:22:57,321 --> 00:22:59,050 y ou have both... 341 00:23:03,861 --> 00:23:06,386 - Oh, God! - Y ou have just made the blooper reel. 28231

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