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Oh, no!
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Hello?
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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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Eh...
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GEESE HONK
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STRAINING
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HE GROANS
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Nothing's ever straightforward in
this stupid house.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Hello!
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Thank you. Welcome to Taskmaster,
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a set of challenges presided over by
a temperamental dictator.
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It's a sort of upbeat North Korea,
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and I'm Kim Jong-Fun.
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LAUGHTER
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Let's meet our citizens for
the first time.
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They are...
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..Ania Magliano!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Maisie Adam!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,360
Phil Ellis!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,520
Reece Shearsmith!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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And Sanjeev Bhaskar!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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And next to me,
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a man who I once thought
I saw riding on the back
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of a baby elephant with a tiny trunk,
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to discover he simply had
no trousers on.
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It's...
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HIGH-PITCHED: ..little Alex Horne!
Hi, thank you.
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Cos the trunk would be... Yeah.
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Hello, everyone.
It's lovely to be here.
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It's lovely to see you, Greg.
I actually think you're great.
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Thanks. Hm.
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Thanks, man.
But I do think I could help...
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Ooh.
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..with a couple of enhancements.
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On the count of three,
would you mind smiling?
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A-one, two, three.
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ANGELIC CHORUS
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ENTUSIASTICALLY: Eh?
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I can do a couple of these.
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How about doing a nice
big blink to camera.
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One... A blink? A blink.
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One, two, three.
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SNARE DRUM CRACKS
Ah!
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A snare. Snare drum?
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Open your mouth. One, two, three...
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VACCUUM CLEANER WHIRRS
Yeah?
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Yeah? Yep.
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Yep, by your standards, not bad.
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OK, here we go.
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What's the first prize task
of this series, little Alex Horne?
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Well, my guy,
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today, you asked them
quite specifically
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to bring in a very soft thing
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which would be most beneficial
for Greg Davies.
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OK? So the very soft thing Greg
thinks he'd find most beneficial
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will get the full five points.
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Then the winner of the episode will
take home all five very soft things
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even though they're
intended to benefit Greg.
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But Greg won't mind,
as it's bound to be
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a great big bunch of crap.
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Thanks very much. Over and out.
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OK, Ania. Welcome. Thank you.
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What soft thing did you bring me?
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I brought you a bum cushion.
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OK.
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LAUGHTER
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It doesn't look unlike my bum.
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So, I made it extra soft,
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because I added some cat hair on it,
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from my cats, Chicken and Ricken.
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Chicken and Ricken?
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Now, the problem for you
and your bald cats is
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I am profoundly allergic to cats.
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Oh! Oh, no!
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What I will say is this -
at least you've made an effort.
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00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,120
The people I get angry with are the
people who haven't made an effort.
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Yeah, when we got them spayed,
I said, "Can I keep the hair?"
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Cos they had to shave some of them
to put, like, an injection in and...
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00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,600
Oh, that's lovely. Yeah.
So this is hair is just before
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they had their wombs removed.
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It's from the really
special zones... Ah, great.
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..which you might not be
allergic to that!
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00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,720
Well, I've never...
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LAUGHTER
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I've never put that to the test,
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00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,920
but never say never.
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Maisie.
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Uh... Uh, a-ba-ba-ba. Ooh, sorry.
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Small talk.
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How are you?
Very well, thanks, Greg.
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Good. What...? How are you?
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What have you brought in? Cool.
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00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,440
Uh, I've brought in
a manly bonnet for you.
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00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,920
I'm concerned about banging your
head on things what with your...
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Extraordinary height?
Extraordinary height, yeah.
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Here is Maisie's bonnet.
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So you've got...
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LAUGHTER
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I didn't want you to feel
emasculated by wearing a bonnet,
101
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,680
so I've stuck loads
of manly things on it.
102
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,760
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah. Um, barbeque on the top...
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00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,240
Lovely.
Bit of weights, tool box,
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00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,800
couple bottles of beers
for the lads.
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My dad's quite tall,
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and he always hits the top
of his head and it's... Yeah.
107
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..and it scabs over, so...
And what better to protect it
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than a miniature barbecue?
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I really like it.
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Wow. You're welcome.
I've got nothing negative to say,
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and I'm not allergic
to any of those things.
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Phil.
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What is the softest thing
in the universe?
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And we all know that is the hands
and voices of the elderly.
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So, I thought if I just, like,
pop these on,
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00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,440
these elderly people's hands on...
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Yeah. They fit like a glove.
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I mean that's perfect, innit?
Yeah.
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00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,520
So, I thought if, like...
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If you just enjoy the...
If we play the cassette...
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Yeah, you ready?
..of a softly spoken elderly lady.
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Here is the elderly lady
talking now.
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00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,240
ELDERLY LADY: Hello, Greg.
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You're such a wonderful person.
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We're all so proud of you.
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Such a big, strong, beefy boy.
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Good, innit? Is that an old lady?
It is an old lady, yes.
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00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,160
Well, it's the oldest one
I could find.
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Um, I found it quite distressing.
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LAUGHTER
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I think if you'd brought
an old lady on,
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maybe, uh, it would've
been more beneficial.
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00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,960
I know. It's weird, though.
None would come with me.
134
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,720
Yeah.
135
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,120
Reece, what did you bring us?
136
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My first question is
are you allergic to feathers?
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I am. Oh...
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Right, well, moving on.
139
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,840
Just imagine I'm not.
I have created for you...
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00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,240
..a fortune-telling raven.
141
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,240
Didn't I say that's what
I was hoping for this...? Yeah.
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Here is the fortune-telling raven.
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LAUGHTER
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Every morning,
it will give you a prediction
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00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,400
for the events of that day.
146
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Raven...
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..tell me my fortune.
148
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There it is, look.
Picked one out for you.
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What's it?
150
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,280
"You will leave the iron on."
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ALL: Oh...
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Greg, you've got to leave
and get home.
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Yeah, like I iron.
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00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,000
Christ, none of these are rubbish.
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You must be feeling
the heat, aren't you, Sanjeev?
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Totally. Yeah.
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I've gone incredibly practical.
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Here it is. Nice big blanket.
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You see... And there it is.
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And there he is.
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Made from...
The contestant who grabbed something
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on his way to the show.
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It's electric.
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Oh... So it warms up.
Wait a moment.
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It's made from the
finest cat-...uh, sheep hair.
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Or wool... "Sheep hair."
..as I believe some people call it.
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00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,760
No, because I thought, you know,
because you are tall,
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00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,840
you feel the cold quicker
than anyone else.
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I do. OK.
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00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,760
You've seen five quite soft things.
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Yeah. Other people have made stuff,
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so I have to punish you
cos you didn't make it.
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00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,520
Uh, sorry, you didn't ask me
whether I made it or not.
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Yeah, I know but...
You made a huge assumption
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00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,000
that I picked it up on the way here.
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I've been knitting and bolting that
thing together for months.
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00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,080
Right, well,
does that change things?
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No.
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The thing I want second least
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is to have latex gloves
rubbed over my face.
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Two points to Phil.
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00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:42,160
Next, I want to sit on
a doughnut of cat hair.
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00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,880
Well done, Ania. Three points.
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00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,440
And then we're up to the big two.
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00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,200
I want the raven most.
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00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,640
Maisie, four points.
Reece, five points. There we go.
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00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,200
I want it. I want that raven.
188
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,840
We're off to a flying start.
Let's get going.
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What's the first task proper?
190
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,640
You're gonna love this one, Greg,
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00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,240
because it involves your two
favourite things.
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00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,640
One, basic technology,
193
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,920
and two, me standing next to a table
looking all mysterious and macho.
194
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,280
Hello.
BEEP
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00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,120
Oh, no, he's started the clock!
196
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,080
What do I do?
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00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,160
MAISIE: Hiya.
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BEEP
What? What? What?
199
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,920
Why are you timing it? What?
200
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:35,600
Hello, hello.
201
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,960
BEEP
202
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,080
Hi.
BEEP
203
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,880
Hello.
BEEP
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00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,320
Oh, God.
205
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,480
Speak!
206
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,160
Hello.
207
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,640
What? You all right?
What's the task?
208
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:54,080
Well, I can't see any kind of
task written down here. Mmm.
209
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,160
So, I'm just going to hit you
with this.
210
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,280
Is there...a task anywhere?
Do I have to find the task? No.
211
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,920
Are we against the clock?
Yes.
212
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,400
But what do you want me to do?
213
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,800
Is there anything different
about me, Reece?
214
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,160
Well, you've got that on. Yeah.
215
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,040
Do you know what it is?
216
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,960
Yes, it's one of those things where
you...you pay at restaurants.
217
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,440
Uh, well, I don't know what
you call those things.
218
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,520
Yeah, it's a QR code.
QR code, that's it, yeah.
219
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,000
Do I have to have a phone
to scan it? Mm-hm.
220
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,640
Unless you can do them
with your eyes.
221
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:25,920
I can't do them with my eyes yet.
222
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,080
Do I need my phone? Yes.
223
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,680
Can I not use this
to scan your QR code?
224
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,320
Have you not got one of these?
No... Back in my room!
225
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,640
Well, go and get it then. Oh, Alex!
226
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,440
I have a phone in another room.
227
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:40,680
Ah. Shall I get it?
228
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,280
You might need it. OK.
229
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,120
Have I got to look
for it in this room?
230
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,040
Your telephone? My telephone?
231
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,200
Your telephone.
232
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,560
Why do you keep saying do
I have a telephone? My telephone?
233
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,440
Do you have a telephone?
No, not on me.
234
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,120
Right.
Do you want me to go and get one?
235
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,840
Where is it?
236
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,560
My telephone? Your telephone.
237
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,720
My telephone...
238
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,080
Yeah, your telephone.
239
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,240
Well, wh-what do you mean?
240
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:04,360
I-I don't have one on me.
241
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,840
I mean, I've got my mobile phone.
Oh. Private to me.
242
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,240
You want me to bring it
into this room?
243
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,560
Well, you need to scan
that somehow.
244
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,960
Well, then I have to
go and get it, don't I?
245
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,760
I suppose so. Sorry to argue.
246
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,240
Share your phone!
247
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,640
What?
248
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,680
PHIL LAUGHS
249
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,640
PHIL: Clever boy. Right.
250
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,080
I mean, it's fascinating,
251
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,520
because there's such a range of ages
amongst the five of you,
252
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:38,240
but my initial impression is
that was like watching footage
253
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,680
of the distressed residents
in a care home.
254
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,320
The age range is extraordinary
this series.
255
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,480
For the first time it's 20s, 30s,
40s, 50s, and up we go.
256
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,080
It is...
257
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,840
I think if the staff were looking
after these pensioners,
258
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,760
Reece would be the one that they'd
dread looking after the most.
259
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,600
You can almost hear the staff go,
260
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:06,120
"Will you go and deal with him?
He's really on one today."
261
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,920
But when do we get our medication?!
262
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,240
You know there's going to be
a Dispatches about this
263
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,920
and you will all be revealed -
your cruelty will be revealed.
264
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,120
I was left on the stairs last night!
265
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,320
Let's crack on.
266
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,640
OK. It's QR versus AR,
267
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,400
Ania and Reece.
268
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,360
Why didn't you just s-...?
269
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,040
Oh, for f-...
270
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,600
Stop...
271
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,920
Come here. No.
272
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,040
Come here.
I need to scan your chest!
273
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,200
ALEX WHEEZES WITH LAUGHTER
274
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,320
I don't feel good about this.
275
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,520
ANIA GIGGLES
276
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,160
Ah, right. Ah.
277
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,000
Stand there. No, no.
278
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,280
Oh, I can't remember my passcode.
Keep still.
279
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,680
I don't want to keep still.
Keep still.
280
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,520
I need to go that way. You can't.
281
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,320
Ah, I still have the dice
game open on my phone!
282
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,560
SHE LAUGHS
283
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,160
Keep still.
I don't want to keep still.
284
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,600
You've got to. I don't want to.
285
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,720
Oh, his back.
286
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,400
Come here. I don't want to.
287
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,480
Keep still. I don't want to!
288
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,040
God's sake.
289
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,640
Ah! Oh, I nearly got it!
290
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,080
ALEX WHIMPERS
291
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,560
APPLAUSE
292
00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,760
BOTH HONK
293
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,360
I've stopped the clock.
294
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,280
That was so fun, I feel so alive.
295
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,080
ALEX SIGHS
Can we go again?
296
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,320
ALEX PANTS
I can't.
297
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,640
HE SIGHS EXHAUSTEDLY
298
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,880
APPLAUSE
299
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,720
Ania, you looked like you were
genuinely enjoying running around.
300
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,640
You don't get to chase someone very
often in your life. You don't.
301
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,360
And you were really enjoying
being chased. Course I was.
302
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,160
Yeah. It's the build-up.
303
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,640
It was actually quite slippy,
so I couldn't go at top speed.
304
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,320
MAISIE: Mm.
Um...
305
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,040
And if I had my time again,
I would go at top speed.
306
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,160
I'm sorry you never got
to go at top speed.
307
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,040
Did you enjoy that, Reece?
308
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,320
Um... No.
309
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,360
No?
310
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680
I found it frustrating
because he wouldn't stop,
311
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,920
and I guess that's the point.
That's the point all right.
312
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,720
Reece, you're twice as old as Ania,
313
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,120
and twice as slow, it turns out.
314
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,600
Ania, 2 minutes 29,
315
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,800
Reece, 5 minutes and 5 seconds.
Oh, God.
316
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,880
But she wasn't even at top speed.
317
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,920
Imagine.
318
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,560
OK, that's the first part through.
319
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,200
But as my doctor said in a recent
health screening, after a break,
320
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,240
I'm going to need to get a glove
and really get amongst it.
321
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,480
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
322
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
323
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,760
Hello! Welcome back to
the second part of the show
324
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,680
and the second part of the series.
325
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,720
The current task is to get
the Horne,
326
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,600
scan the Horne, then honk the horn.
327
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,880
Now, let's see how
the final three got on.
328
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,400
It's Maisie and Phil,
329
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,800
who both understand the
concept of "fastest wins",
330
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,600
plus Sanjeev Bhaskar.
331
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,400
MAISIE: What?
332
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,080
There you are, you little bugger!
333
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,760
Come here, let me spank you.
334
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,040
You got a QR code?
335
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,600
Oh, he's got a big one on
the back! This is brilliant!
336
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,200
LAUGHTER
337
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,040
Back here now! Now!
338
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,640
AUDIENCE GASPS
Bugger!
339
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,280
You little prick!
340
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,280
SANJEEV GROANS
341
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,760
I know how to get him.
He likes music, doesn't he?
342
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,680
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
343
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,720
I've got it on the wrong bloody
setting now.
344
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,280
Using the wrong settings?
I'm phoning my mother.
345
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,720
I'm still on the wrong
bloody settings.
346
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,560
HE STRUMS UKELELE TUNELESSLY
AND HONKS HORN
347
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,800
Come on.
348
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,200
HE CONTINUES STRUMMING AND HONKING
Don't be scared.
349
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,560
You like instruments, don't you?
350
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,520
Alex!
351
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,920
Fucking 'ell!
352
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,440
I think he's on a loop.
353
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,120
Need to block his path.
354
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,520
Ah.
355
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,080
There's one of two things
I can hit you with.
356
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,800
Right. Where's your telephone?
357
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,840
It's in my pocket.
358
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,040
Right how are you going to...?
359
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,240
What?
360
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,440
Ah, bastard!
HE LAUGHS
361
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,520
Sanjeev...
362
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,800
Now...
363
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,360
Say hello to the ostrich.
364
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,680
I don't want to.
365
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,840
SHE GASPS
366
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,880
Oh, I think I've just beheaded
a gargoyle.
367
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,480
I'm really sorry.
368
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,080
HE LAUGHS
Oh, I've got him!
369
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,000
Oh, shit, I'm on airplane mode.
370
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,560
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
371
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,640
Hmm. Do you know how
to use QR codes?
372
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,000
It's just giving me a little yellow
light on it, which is not the thing.
373
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,280
Yeah, then you...
No, it is the thing.
374
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,600
Oh, is it? Yeah.
375
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,360
Stay still. I don't want to.
376
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,120
Stay... Argh!
377
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,320
I'm really strong, Alex.
378
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,440
Stupid man.
379
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,800
"Honk the horn. Fastest wins."
380
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,760
Oh, you bastard. I've honked a horn!
381
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,040
"Honk the horn."
382
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,520
SHE HONKS HORN
383
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,880
HE HONKS HORN
384
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,600
I should've done this at the...
Yeah, I've stopped the...
385
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,080
I should have done that at the
bloody beginning.
386
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,000
Yeah, I've stopped the clock.
387
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,440
APPLAUSE
388
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,440
So, what I wrote down for you
during that is,
389
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,840
"Good to see someone who knows
he can't win this having fun."
390
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,080
Yeah, yeah, I mean,
it's so early on, isn't it?
391
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,600
And yet it's so obvious.
392
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,840
Just having the time your life,
weren't you?
393
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,560
"Come here, you little bugger.
I'm going to spank you."
394
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,080
I didn't hear that, but...OK.
395
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,280
Y-you...you said that.
396
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,160
Oh, yeah? That wasn't me
saying that to you, Phil.
397
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,840
And he wasn't destructive.
There wasn't £40 worth of damage.
398
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,160
£40?
MAISIE: That gargoyle? 40 quid?
399
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,680
Yes, that gargoyle, yeah.
400
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,720
What...? Right. OK.
401
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,040
Sorry. Um... Thank you.
402
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,440
What I will say is...
403
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,560
..I'd forgotten
I'd worn such big pants.
404
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,120
There's nothing wrong with
a big pant, my friend.
405
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,040
Well, my leggings,
they didn't come in my length,
406
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,200
so they only reached round my bum.
407
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,160
Are you saying your trousers
were riding down?
408
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,640
I didn't notice, did you notice?
409
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,480
Yeah, I noticed, yeah.
Of course I noticed.
410
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,400
I mean, I still enjoyed watching you
running around breathlessly
411
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,800
with your...
I was not breathless, thank you.
412
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,080
Sorry.
413
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:34,000
I was firing top speed,
but with saggy pants, so...
414
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,600
Sanjeev.
415
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,080
I was going at top speed.
416
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,280
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
417
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,920
I wasn't holding back.
418
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,040
Have you, genuinely, in real life,
had a phone for long?
419
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,720
A... A phone? A phone, yeah.
420
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,880
A telephone? PHIL: A telephone.
Yes, a telephone.
421
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,640
Yes, I think, you know,
in that moment,
422
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,320
I didn't know whether you wanted me
to, I don't know...
423
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:56,840
To know how to use your own phone?
424
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,360
Yes.
425
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,360
Yes, I have people
who do that for me.
426
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,800
The nurses.
427
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,840
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
428
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,360
Shall I tell you some times?
Tell me some times.
429
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,360
I can't imagine any of them are good.
430
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:17,720
Phil did find a horn and lure me out
with another horn... Wow.
431
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,400
..at 1 minute 37.
432
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:20,920
That was his first honk
of another horn. MAISIE: Oh.
433
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,480
We didn't say which horn
you had to honk.
434
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,000
So Phil, 1:37.
435
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,640
Suddenly, he's overtaken Ania who's
lagging at 2:29, so slow.
436
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,560
Reece, 5:05.
437
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,440
Maisie quicker, 4:22.
438
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,080
More than twice as long
as everyone else,
439
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,120
Sanjeev, 10:16. Yes!
440
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,160
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
441
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,080
However, there is also
one extra video to watch.
442
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,800
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
443
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,240
Hiya.
BEEP
444
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,160
What, what? What?
445
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,400
Why are you timing it?
446
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,440
What?
447
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,920
HONK
448
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,040
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
449
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,240
That's me, baby!
450
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,400
Wow.
451
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,360
And what's amazing is
452
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,160
we literally didn't
need to show any of that footage
453
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,880
of your trousers falling down.
454
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,480
It is one point to Sanjeev,
two to Reece,
455
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,800
three to Ania, four to Phil,
456
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,440
and five to Maisie Adam!
457
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,280
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
458
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,120
Shall we see our first scoreboard,
young fellow-my-lad?
459
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,240
Of course.
At one end, consistency himself,
460
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,760
Sanjeev's got two points.
461
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,560
At the other,
Maisie's got nine points!
462
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,840
GREG WHISTLES
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
463
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,480
Right.
What's next, little Alex HONE?
464
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,880
Ooh, well it's time to
task with a target.
465
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,800
We've found a big space,
we got some big balls,
466
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,720
we're going to have some big fun.
467
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,520
Do you know who I'm doing?
468
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,160
Max Schreck as Nosferatu.
469
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,320
I thought you looked like a penguin.
470
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,000
1921 classic.
471
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,840
SICKENED: "Looks like a penguin."
472
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,640
You're quite far away.
473
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,040
So are you.
474
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,760
"Roll an object onto the target."
475
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,760
"You must release your object from
behind this line."
476
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,360
"You may not move
the line or target."
477
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,120
"And you may not affect
your object after release."
478
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,320
"You must use the first type
of object you touch,
479
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,280
"and can have three attempts
with that type of object."
480
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,080
"And must not go within
Greg's height of the target."
481
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,520
What?
482
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,240
"Closest to the centre of
the target wins."
483
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,400
REECE: "You have 15 minutes."
484
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,280
"Your time starts now."
485
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,160
What w-...? How do I know how tall
Greg is lying down?
486
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,240
Or standing up. Or... Ah!
487
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,240
APPLAUSE
488
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,800
And it's...it's a game of curling.
489
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,320
Ah, well, we invented it, but yeah.
490
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,320
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Right, well, let's crack on.
491
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:13,880
OK, well, it's a tricky task,
492
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,600
but there's 15 minutes,
so plenty of time to plan, etc.
493
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,360
Or I guess you could just
get it done and go home.
494
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,840
It's Maisie, and yes, it's Sanjeev.
495
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,760
So, the first type
of object you touch?
496
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,760
HE SIGHS
497
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,840
Well, they're quite heavy.
498
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,280
Um...
499
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,400
I think that means you're
touching it, Sanjeev.
500
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,520
Well, no. I didn't touch that.
501
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,920
I think you touched the tyre.
502
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,520
Fine.
503
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,480
Oh! They ice?
504
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,000
Aye, ice.
505
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,560
We're going to go ice.
506
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,360
Good for length. Ah, yeah.
507
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,080
The line was a bit off.
508
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,240
That hit a camera. Yes! Brilliant.
509
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:26,200
Ooh!
510
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,560
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
511
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,360
Happy with that?
512
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:41,880
Absolutely delighted, Alex.
513
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,000
Slow, slow!
514
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,800
Oh...
515
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,800
That's in another time zone,
that one, innit?
516
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,000
Right, you've got one more.
517
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,480
What have you learnt from
the first two?
518
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,160
Absolutely nothing. Great.
519
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,240
Shouldn't have come.
520
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,240
Now then...
521
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,480
Oh, charming.
522
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,360
Out the door!
523
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,520
Great, that's near Windsor.
524
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,800
Stop.
525
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,240
Stop! Stop! Stop!
526
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,560
Oh!
527
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,440
Are you going to, like, doc-...
Like, you know, take a picture?
528
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,480
Just cos they're going to
melt in a minute.
529
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,040
Yeah, we're filming a lot of this.
530
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,560
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
531
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,480
I mean, basically,
at that final shot,
532
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,920
there was no sign that you'd ever
been part of this.
533
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,680
It's like a metaphor for
the futility of life.
534
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,080
The thing is that I...
535
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,120
I get the rules with, you know,
the first thing you touch,
536
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,400
but I was just moving it up a bit,
I wasn't kind of like... Yeah, or...
537
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,640
..choosing it.
Or, as some would say, touching.
538
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,400
Some may interpret it that way.
539
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,960
Maisie, I think this is
the most sense we've seen you make.
540
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,720
I'm...I had a method, I was like,
541
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,040
"Let's see what weighs more,"
542
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,400
cos weight... Yeah. ..weight is to
do with distance and something.
543
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,080
Yeah, course, weight. It's science.
544
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:15,480
Famously, weight's to do
with distance. Yeah. Yeah.
545
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,200
Right,
we're at the halfway point now,
546
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,800
and as my doctor said in
a recent check-up,
547
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,720
"Let's just stop for
a little breather.
548
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,480
"I wasn't expecting it to be such
a mess down there."
549
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,320
APPLAUSE
550
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
551
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,960
Hello! Thank you, and welcome back.
552
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,280
It's the start of part three,
553
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,160
and our new competitors
are trying to stop their objects
554
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,000
as close as possible
to the middle of the target.
555
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,400
Three people left to go.
556
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,120
Are they actually good at sport
despite their appearances?
557
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,280
It's Ania, Reece and Phil.
558
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:57,400
I'm going to try to make it easy by
going dead centre big ball first.
559
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:01,240
I'm going to use these little balls
to make a thoroughfare.
560
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,760
Ooh.
561
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,320
First time I've felt like
I've got a good idea.
562
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,560
Right, you have to use that now.
563
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,000
What? You touched that first,
564
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,040
so that's going to be
the object you throw.
565
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,600
You're going exercise ball.
566
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,760
So, I'm thinking if I set up
a buffer zone behind it...
567
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,200
Nice.
568
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,240
It's really stinky.
569
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,120
We didn't know they were there. OK.
570
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,000
Far too much power.
571
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,000
OK, good to know.
572
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,760
AUDIENCE GASPS
573
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,000
Do me a favour and put your foot on
there for me, please, Alex.
574
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,200
Thank you.
575
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,160
It's time for a few more bins.
576
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,200
Ha-ha-ha! This is exciting.
577
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,560
OK, I'm ready.
578
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,800
OK it's all about what I pick now.
579
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,440
I'm going to do this one.
580
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:16,760
Yes, you are.
581
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:22,960
That's no good.
582
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,880
That was, uh...
583
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,440
DISTANT RUMBLE AND IMPACT
..disappointing.
584
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,800
Let's go.
585
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,200
ANIA CHUCKLES
586
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,960
That were a bit shit, weren't it?
587
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,720
The bins still worked.
588
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,560
Oh. And there was me doing that!
589
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:57,840
Oh, for fuck...
590
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,680
Are you actually joking me?
591
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,720
AUDIENCE: Ooh...
592
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,560
AUDIENCE GROANS
Fuck.
593
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,400
Good luck. Ah, thank you.
594
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,040
Is it going to bounce back or...?
It's not, is it?
595
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,160
Do you know what happened?
The Sellotape stopped it.
596
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,600
25 seconds. This is your last go.
597
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,800
Yes, yes, yes!
598
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,640
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
599
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,560
Ah, it's on the target!
600
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,360
Who'd have thought it'd be
that simple?
601
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,520
WHISTLE, APPLAUSE
602
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,280
GREG: Nice. Very nice.
603
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,240
I got stressed. I couldn't
remember if it went on.
604
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,520
Reece, what was that device
you created?
605
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,800
What was it meant to do?
606
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,040
No, initially I thought I could slow
the ball down with the Sellotape.
607
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:25,200
Like when you see it in America,
where they pull spikes across
608
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,320
and the cars get their
things punctured.
609
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,320
It all fell down when I accidentally
touched the wrong thing first.
610
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,920
He's quite calm and softly spoken
in the studio, isn't he?
611
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,640
Hmm. But when he got cross
with his catapult,
612
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,680
he went more northern than you've
been for the whole show.
613
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,480
EXAGGERATED NORTHERN ACCENT:
"And there was me doing that!"
614
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,480
The real latent rage.
615
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,480
I thought Phil's worked
amazingly well.
616
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,720
And I think Ania's would've worked
as well if she was capable
617
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,560
of rolling a ball in
the correct direction.
618
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,440
I mean, incredibly, she is worse
than Sanjeev. No offence.
619
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,440
You... I feel like you're
ganging up on me.
620
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,680
Yep. Yeah, you are.
621
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,840
Well, I can show you where
all their objects ended up.
622
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,160
In fifth place, Ania's was furthest
away - 22 badgers.
623
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,520
Fourth, Sanjeev - ten badgers.
624
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,760
We're doing it in badgers.
Reece, seven badgers.
625
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,160
Phil, 2.5 badgers,
but the winner, with five points,
626
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,400
1.5 badgers - Maisie Adam!
627
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:26,920
Look at that.
628
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,720
Let's have another task, please.
Right you are,
629
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,320
and just like our infamous
camping trip together,
630
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,560
this one involves
being disgusting in a caravan.
631
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,000
Hello? Hello? Hi.
632
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,160
Oh, hi, Reece.
633
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,880
PHIL: Hi, Alex.
634
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,000
Welcome to the caravan.
635
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,480
Thank you for having me in
the caravam.
636
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,520
Cawavan.
637
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,040
The cawavan?
Oh, yeah, it's caravan.
638
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,560
Been having a lovely time.
You have?
639
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,520
Hmm? Oh, good. You?
640
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,520
Uh... It's all right. Yeah.
641
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,200
I mean, you know,
what do you compare it with?
642
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,360
You compare it with kind of
the worst times in your life,
643
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,040
and you go,
"I'm having a great time."
644
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,640
Yeah. And then you compare it with
some of the best times of your life,
645
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,080
and you go, "This is shit."
Yeah. So it's...
646
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,680
So, yeah, it's OK. Yeah.
647
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,120
Do you mind me saying
you suit the caravan?
648
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,520
I actually do know what you mean.
649
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,560
I was going to be insulted,
650
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,720
but then I was like,
"He's completely right."
651
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,280
"Do something behind this curtain...
652
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,480
"..that sounds disgusting
but is actually really nice."
653
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,680
"Highest D by N wins,
654
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,640
"where D is your
disgustingness score out of ten
655
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,360
"and N is your niceness score
out of ten."
656
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,920
So, the swingometer
of how horrible it sounds
657
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,920
compared to the reality
of how nice it is,
658
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,560
there are more points involved
in such a situation.
659
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:08,600
Is that correct?
660
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:09,840
That's very well put.
661
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,240
Thank you.
662
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,040
"You have 15 minutes.
Your time starts now."
663
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,640
OK, so it's behind this.
664
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:16,720
Yeah.
665
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,320
If you don't mind. Oh, right.
666
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,000
Little privacy.
667
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,840
I'll be waiting.
668
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,040
You not coming with me to look
at it? Do you want me to?
669
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,240
No.
670
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,000
APPLAUSE
671
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,960
You really do suit that caravan.
672
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,520
What I don't...
673
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,720
This is the thing,
I don't know whether I...
Do you like camping or not?
674
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,400
No! You don't?
675
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,800
No.
676
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,720
Why are you getting
so angry about it?
677
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,880
The way Alex said it was quite like,
678
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,720
"I'm going to try and
get in your head..." No!
679
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,880
"..and live in there as a worm."
680
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,200
Yeah. Just eating away at your brain.
Yeah, it really felt...
681
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,840
..so in the end you can't even
roll a ball in a straight line.
682
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,160
Ready to start? God, yes.
683
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,120
Yuck, urgh, and vomit,
684
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,080
it's Ania, Maisie and Phil.
685
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,040
ANIA: OK, I'm starting my attempt.
686
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,640
WET HISSING
687
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,960
VIGOROUS CHURNING, CLATTERING
688
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,440
PROLONGED LOUD SLURPING
689
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,320
Are you having a nice time?
SLURP
690
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:21,760
Yeah.
SHE HACKS
691
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,800
I'm going to reveal you.
SLURPING, GASPING
692
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,280
SLURPING CONTINUES
693
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,000
SHE SLURPS
694
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,600
GENTLE SMACKING OF LIPS
695
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,120
METALLIC SCRAPING
696
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:36,880
CHURNING
It's really tasty.
697
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,000
I'm going to cover you up again.
698
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,680
Are you sure you don't
want to suck a bit off?
699
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:41,960
OK.
700
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,440
MAISIE: I was just looking through
in the kitchen there.
701
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,160
Yeah? Looking for all sorts
of various things
702
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,840
that I might be able to use.
703
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,520
And, um...
METAL IMPACT
704
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:52,880
Oh, fuck! Argh!
705
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,920
METAL IMPACT
Oh! Please, stop!
706
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,520
RATTLING
Whatever, please!
707
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:58,640
Oh, God, no!
708
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,000
SHE GASPS AND ROARS
709
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,720
Oh, oh, right. Yeah, OK.
710
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,800
Gyeorrhh!
CHOKING
711
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,000
Yeah...
712
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,200
RATTLING, CHOKING
I'm going to open the curtain.
713
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,440
Eurgh, no!
714
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,240
RATTLING
715
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,400
Don't come in, save yourself.
716
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:16,120
Making you a nice, uh,
fruit smoothie, Alex.
717
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,000
SHE PANTS
718
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,680
You're doing it quite violently.
719
00:34:20,720 --> 00:34:21,720
Yeah.
720
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,440
I would like a little bit of
the drink to see if it's nice.
721
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,160
Oh, I'm so sorry.
722
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:28,600
Well, thank you.
723
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,040
Ooh! Nice?
724
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,240
Mm. Very nice. There you go.
725
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,480
PHIL: OK.
726
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:39,360
SLOPPY RATTLING
727
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,120
RATTLING, SPLASHING
728
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,880
Are you all right
to keep doing it for a bit?
729
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,480
PHIL LAUGHS, MUFFLED
Yeah, if my calf muscles are.
730
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:47,960
Your calf muscles?
731
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,440
RATTLING, SQUELCHING
732
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,480
I need to know what it is you're
doing, I'm going to have a look.
733
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:54,680
Here I come.
734
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:03,080
What are you doing?
735
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,600
MOUTH FULL:
What does it look like I'm doing?
736
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,400
I'm rubbing my feet in gravy,
737
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,760
and eating a mixture
of chocolate sauce
738
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,560
and crumbled up
non-product-specific biscuits.
739
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,520
I'm having a bloody great time.
740
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,400
"Nice"?! Bloody lovely.
741
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,440
SPLASHING AND RATTLING RESUMES
742
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:26,840
Right. Right.
743
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:27,960
Caravan girl.
744
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,200
When the curtain went back,
I mean,
745
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:32,880
you were eating yoghurt with
your fingers.
746
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,720
It wasn't! No, it wasn't yoghurt.
747
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,800
What was it?
It was whipped cream and sugar.
748
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,400
But it was really tasty,
749
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,720
and I ate it for quite a long time.
750
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:41,960
But this is where it's tricky,
you see,
751
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,640
because if it was nice for you,
752
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,320
I'll have to take your word for it.
753
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,640
It wasn't nice watching you eat that
with your fingers.
754
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,800
Alex told me that you would be
really jealous of it.
755
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,080
IRKED: Oh. Oh, did he?
756
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,320
Phil's is tricky, because
what I'm learning about Phil is
757
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:58,640
he's so upbeat about everything,
758
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,040
he'd sort of sell anything
as being nice, really.
759
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,120
I think he genuinely was having
a wonderful time.
760
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,040
I was. Yeah, I mean, I...
761
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:09,440
I would've been doing that if
I wasn't on the show anyway, but...
762
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,120
Was it warm gravy?
763
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,000
No that was...
That was where we fell a bit short.
764
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,280
It was... I could feel the granules
between my toes.
765
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,360
Ah.
AUDIENCE GROANS
766
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,160
Your noise, Maisie, where it
got sinister, and I wrote it down,
767
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:24,080
was when you shouted, "Please, stop."
768
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:28,120
I think I'm now realising that the
two things had to be the...same.
769
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,640
I just pretended to be attacked,
and then made a cocktail.
770
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,600
And then made a cocktail.
771
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,760
Very much separate activities, yeah.
772
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,720
OK, let's stop once again,
773
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,480
and, as my doctor said to me at
a recent check-up,
774
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,880
"Just one final push left.
Relax, loosen up a bit.
775
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,280
"Hey, stop squirming!
776
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,560
"Nurse, nurse! Help me!
He keeps biting!"
777
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,920
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
778
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,800
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
779
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,800
Hello! Welcome back to
the final part of the show,
780
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:04,000
where the cast are tricking us into
thinking they're being disgusting.
781
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,800
The final attempts come from
two neighbours over there,
782
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,640
it's Sanjeev from Number 42,
and Reece from Number 9.
783
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,040
STRAINING
You OK in there, Reece?
784
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:18,800
WET TOOTING AND
SQUEAKING REVERBERATES
785
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,120
REECE GRUNTS AND SIGHS,
TOOTING RESUMES
786
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,800
Hello, Sanjeev.
CAVEMAN-LIKE GRUNTING
787
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,760
CAVEMAN COMMUNICATION CONTINUES
788
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,400
SANJEEV IMITATES EXPLOSION
789
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,600
HE HOOTS AND BLOWS RASPBERRIES
790
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,600
Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub!
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
791
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,200
Right, Sanjeev... Yep?
792
00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:35,760
I'm going to have a look at you.
OK.
793
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,600
I want to check you're OK.
OK.
794
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,160
SANJEEV BLOWS RASPBERRY
795
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,320
I'm going to come and have a look.
796
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,440
OK.
Be prepared, it's not disgusting.
797
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:45,680
SQUEAK
798
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,440
TOOT REVERBERATES
799
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,000
WET TOOT
800
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,880
BABY-TALK
801
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,120
HE CHUFFS
802
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,680
Got a little baby in there?
803
00:37:57,720 --> 00:37:59,240
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
Yes.
804
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,160
Multicoloured sausage mobile
with disco ball.
805
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,600
Uh-huh. Kids love that.
806
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,160
So you're babysitting?
I am babysitting, yeah.
807
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,720
TOOT
808
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,080
What I'm doing is sending
the duck to a happy sleep.
809
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,880
And he's dreaming
the word "thank you".
810
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,200
He liked it, did he?
811
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,200
I think... Well, look at the duck.
812
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:19,600
But if you want to close that now,
813
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,800
so that I can get him actually
to fall asleep. Sure, OK.
814
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,440
Deep sleep. Sorry to disturb you.
815
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,720
That's all right. All right.
816
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,600
WET TOOTING RESUMES
817
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,840
I'd like to see the baby.
Do you want to s-...? OK.
818
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,320
Oh. Yeah. Beautiful baby.
819
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,040
Thank you.
APPLAUSE
820
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:52,480
Reece, I...I'm no expert in
how one soothes a duck.
821
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,120
ALEX LAUGHS
822
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,880
Well, I hit upon the idea that
the duck would enjoy
823
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:01,080
the sound of something that was
similar to a duck quacking.
824
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,320
But it... Oh. So that was
what I was trying to do.
825
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:04,920
I thought it sounded a bit like
a duck whistle,
826
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,720
which famously draw
the ducks out to be shot. Yes.
827
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,480
Yeah, oh, well,
828
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,640
it was a bit of both I think.
Sounding bad,
829
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,520
and then it being revealed
to be quite a charming thing.
830
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:19,240
Now, do you think that the sort of
nice element of Sanjeev's attempt
831
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,000
was somewhat compromised
by it being revealed that
832
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,880
the baby was in fact
a beheaded old woman?
833
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,440
All babies are beautiful.
834
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,840
Yes. Yeah. They are.
835
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,280
Even those who are old,
without a body.
836
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:37,120
Well, they have old faces
and no body,
837
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,640
but they change. They grow.
838
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,120
They grow a body.
839
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,240
They...
You don't have children, Greg.
840
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:44,800
You don't have children.
I don't have children.
841
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,560
I did see my nieces
when they were babies,
842
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,800
and they definitely
didn't just look like a head.
843
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,720
It's a really tough one to score,
this. Well, there's a bit of maths.
844
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,440
I guess you can tell me how
disgusting you found them all,
845
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,560
and then how nice
you found them all.
846
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,680
Yeah, OK.
847
00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:01,360
So, Ania - what's her disgustingness
score out of ten, Greg?
848
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,720
Well, it sounded absolutely
disgusting. Nine. Nine! Yeah.
849
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,000
Terrific. And the niceness?
850
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,000
Well, she says she's having
a nice time,
851
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,080
so I'm going to take her word for it,
852
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,280
but I didn't enjoy watching it,
so seven.
853
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,720
Cool. Nine times seven...
854
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,600
LAUGHTER
855
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,320
So Ania, 63.
856
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,720
Maisie.
857
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,600
OK. The cocktail looked
absolutely delicious.
858
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:23,720
Ah, it was, yeah. It was lovely.
859
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:24,920
Looked like you were having
a lovely time,
860
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,640
so that, I mean,
it's a delicious nine.
861
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:28,680
Thank you.
862
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:33,000
Yeah, but no way does that cocktail
involve those noises,
863
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,440
a person being horribly attacked.
864
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:36,880
Two. Two?
865
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,120
Two times nine. 18. Two?
866
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,760
Right, so we've got high and low.
63, 18.
867
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,160
Phil.
Going to get complicated. Phil.
868
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,680
Let's go all the way up the line.
This'll do it.
869
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:45,200
Wow, the noises were awful.
870
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,640
Horrible, disgusting. Nine.
871
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:47,720
Nine. Another nine.
872
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,200
And then, when it was revealed,
he was having the time of his life.
873
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:54,840
Yeah, yeah. And he's northern,
so why not pop your feet in gravy?
874
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,680
I'm not from the north,
but I presume it's great.
875
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:58,240
They squat and they, uh...
876
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,560
They squat. Yeah.
877
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,360
I'm a bit intrigued by you saying,
"They squat."
878
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,240
I just think it's important
to remember...
879
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,000
What was it?
What do people from the north do?
880
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,440
They squat and they lick.
881
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,600
You know that.
882
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,200
So it's nine times...
883
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,840
Eight. Eight. Ooh!
884
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,080
Which is...
885
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,280
LAUGHTER
886
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,040
I do know my eight times table.
887
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,160
Nine times eight is 72.
888
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:25,320
Yeah. Right. 72.
889
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:26,920
But you're doing
that little smug thing
890
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,320
like I don't know my times tables.
891
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,720
I'll fuck you up, mate.
892
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:32,680
I'll fuck you up, how about that?
893
00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:35,040
Do you understand those maths?
894
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,240
Fucking prick.
895
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,000
Who's next?
896
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,160
It's Reece next.
897
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,760
I could tell that he was
blowing a trumpet.
898
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,320
It didn't sound that disgusting.
899
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,720
Seven. Seven for that.
900
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:47,840
The reveal, I don't know ducks,
901
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,360
but there was a bubble coming
out of his head. Eight.
902
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,040
Yeah, eight. And we know eight
times seven, don't we?
903
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,240
We all know eight times seven.
We all know eight times seven!
904
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,200
Don't we?
905
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,600
Yeah. What is it?
906
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:01,720
It's loads.
907
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,280
Phil, what's eight times 7?
908
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,040
Well, I mean, but what is
a number, you know? Like...
909
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,200
Good? Good!
910
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:12,600
OK, so we've got Sanjeev.
911
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,400
Yeah. Well, it sounded
absolutely disgusting.
912
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:16,680
Great. Like a nine.
913
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,400
Nine disgusting. Niceness?
914
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:20,280
Um, I don't know why
I'm charmed by it.
915
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,720
Nine. Whoa!
916
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,520
81 for Sanjeev.
917
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:24,720
There we go.
918
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:33,520
OK, Maisie you got 18,
your score, so that's one point.
919
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,960
In fourth place, it's Reece,
with 56 as your score,
920
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,200
so that's two points.
921
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:41,760
Ania, you're in third place,
you scored 63 - three points.
922
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,680
Phil, 72, four points
923
00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:46,080
but Sanjeev gets the full
five points with 81.
924
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:47,520
Well done, Sanjeev.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
925
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,360
All right, everybody, will you
make your way to the stage
926
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:56,200
for this series' first
final task of the show?
927
00:42:56,240 --> 00:43:00,400
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
928
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,000
Hello, young fellow-my-lad.
Hi, Greg.
929
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,200
Who will be reading the task out?
930
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:13,320
Sanjeev will, please. Ah.
931
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,840
"End up on your spot.
932
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,840
"You must obey the
Taskmaster's instructions.
933
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,440
"Closest person to their spot at
the end of the task wins."
934
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:23,880
So it's quite a simple task.
935
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,680
They're all standing on spots.
936
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:27,440
At the end of the task,
you need to be as close
937
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,000
to your spot as possible.
938
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,080
I have the health
and safety whistle.
939
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,440
If there's danger, I'll blow it.
Please stop.
940
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,280
First instruction, please.
941
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,400
Completely cover your eyes.
942
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,000
Using one of these.
943
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,400
Pop these on.
Nice and tight, please, guys.
944
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,800
Nice and tight.
945
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,200
Oop. Oh, no,
946
00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:53,200
Are they completely...?
947
00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:54,760
MAISIE: What's happened?
948
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,880
Nothing to worry about,
one of Sanjeev's eyes fell off.
949
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:57,920
Oh.
950
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:02,360
OK. March on the spot until
the end of the task.
951
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,880
So that means, whatever happens,
you must keep marching.
952
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,840
Spin 360 degrees.
953
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:19,760
Continue to march on the spot
but with higher knees.
954
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,000
WHISTLE
Just, just, uh...
955
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,520
just be careful, just be careful,
just be careful.
956
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,840
Take two big steps backwards.
957
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:40,120
Keep marching.
That's plenty, Sanjeev.
958
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,320
That's plenty, Sanjeev.
959
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:45,400
Next instruction, please.
960
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,480
Take two nice big steps...
961
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,640
..to the left.
962
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:55,480
Oh, Maisie!
963
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,320
You're fine.
964
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:00,840
You're fine, you're fine.
965
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,720
Take two nice big steps forward.
966
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,000
Forward...forward.
967
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,800
That's fine,
you're right on the edge.
968
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:23,480
Take two nice wide steps
to the right.
969
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,640
Go back a bit, mate.
970
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,400
Where's the edge? Where's the edge?
971
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,120
Don't worry, don't worry.
False alarm.
972
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:33,640
Keep marching.
973
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,680
Jump quite high twice.
974
00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:38,240
Oof!
975
00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:43,280
March on the spot flamboyantly.
976
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:50,760
Stop!
WHISTLE
977
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,120
Please freeze in those positions.
978
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
979
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,640
Was it all a dream?
980
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,800
How did I end up facing that way?
981
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,560
We'll score those and we'll add it
to your final scores.
982
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,360
Come down here and join me!
983
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:14,520
Well, well, well. Hmm.
984
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:15,800
Genuinely dangerous.
985
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,280
Yes, they should have been wearing
protective clothing.
986
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:20,840
They should.
Or we should have put a mat down.
987
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:24,120
Or we should have thought it
through more. Still,
988
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,080
the thing was, they were meant
to stay on their spots.
989
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,240
They didn't really do that.
990
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:28,280
Reece, you were the furthest,
991
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,240
you get one point at
the end of that.
992
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:31,280
Phil, two points.
993
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,520
Sanjeev, you came third,
three points.
994
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,560
Second place, Maisie, four points.
995
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:35,720
Ania, you were the closest
at the end.
996
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,640
You get the full five points!
Well done.
997
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,160
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
998
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,160
So?
And so it's a tighter first episode
999
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,760
than some of us were expecting
at the beginning.
1000
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,400
At the bottom,
it's Sanjeev with 12 points,
1001
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,400
but our first winner,
with 19 points,
1002
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,120
it's Maisie Adam!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1003
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:53,560
Maisie Adam wins!
1004
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,200
Please, go and celebrate
with some soft things
1005
00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,920
I would benefit from having,
but I'm not getting!
1006
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1007
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,800
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