All language subtitles for succession.s02e03.1080p.web.h264-convoy_track3_[eng]

Tom, it's Waystar.
He offered it to me.

To be next.

I thought that it was something
that we wanted

for me, to have it.

Me is just a modification
of the plan.

That's q--
quite a big modification.

GIL EAVIS: You live in a kind
of a bubble and your connections

to Tom, ATN, are a distraction.

Well you know what, I'm out.

I needed a place in the city
because I'm still applying

for the job of president
of the United States.

Never done nothing, never,

to most important job
in the world?

LOGAN ROY:
What do you think about Pierce?

Buying? PGM?

SHIV ROY: Think that's chasing
the white whale.

Is it wise to fire the board?

Take it like a fucking man.

You tried to kill me,
but you failed.

We need a way forward
on the Vaulter problem ahead

of investor meetings
in two days' time.

Doesn't fit with our core,
you know, values.

So now I'm thinking,
we just shutter the fucker.

I mean, it makes us look weak.

No, it makes us look ruthless.

Your brother's right.
Gut it.

I'm afraid I have to inform you,
you're all fired.

We're already fully operation
on seven.

Why?

Because my dad told me to.

You did good, son.

Make yourself at home.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Obviously, this is daunting,
writing a biography.

A serious study of a man
like Logan Roy, I...

Thank you so much
for agreeing to meet with me.

Sure. Uh, but just to be clear,
uh, this isn't a meeting.

This is a precursor to see
if I might be willing to meet.

Absolutely. You were very clear
about your concerns.

Because actually meeting you
would be a big step.

-Uh-huh.
-I'm a time-pressed executive,

so before we even get to
the ethical considerations,

can I eke out time
in my calendar?

Of course.

Um...

On the other hand, I...

don't think it's too
self-aggrandizing

to hope I might have
some wisdom to impart.

There's no time like
the present,

-right?
-It would need to be discreet.

I don't wanna make my uncle mad,
because he can be, uh...

Well, he can be scary,
vindictive, paranoid...

-Oh, yeah.
-...violent...

(MUTTERS) Scary, vindictive...

Wait, I'm sorry. Uh--

No, no, no. None of this--
I'm not actually saying that.

-Yet.
-Oh.

Would you like this meeting
to be on background?

But this isn't...

You can't say I said anything.

But you did.

Look, Greg, if you want this
to be anonymous,

you have to say that
from the outset.

You can't do that retroactively.

But no, because
this isn't a meeting.

-This-- You can't--
-Look...

-That's not fair. That's unfair.
-Greg,

I am writing this biography.

I am going to cover
Logan Roy's life and work.

-Mm-hmm.
-And I really have no doubt

that you have been to
a bunch of meetings,

and you have done
a bunch of things.

So, my question is:

Do you want to present
your side,

or are you happy for everyone
else to tell their version?

(GREG EXHALES SHARPLY)

Okay, I need to think. I need--
I'm gonna go,

I-- I'm-- But this leaving--
How I look,

and how I'm getting up
and everything,

is off the record, okay?

-Thank you, ma'am.
-(CHAIR SCRAPES)

♪ ("SUCCESSION" THEME MUSIC
BEGINS) ♪

DOCTOR: So you're still getting
the stiffness?

Neck and shoulders.
Chest pains, too, I heard.

(SIGHS) Pain. One pain.

That's 'cause you've got me
working out so fuckin' much.

I'm Johnny fuckin' Weissmuller
here.

And the meds we've got you on,
well, you let me know

if you suffer from any anxiety,
paranoia,

-irritation...
-Oh, fuck off.

They're trying to destroy
my life's work.

Maria just called about Mo.

She was wondering if
you'd like to go to the hospice.

Oh, I'll let them know, yes.

Should I schedule a visit?

She says he's probably only
got a matter of a week or two.

Nah, remind me
in a week or two.

And Shiv's on the line.

I'll do her after
the proxy meet.

Uh, pencil it for midnight.

DOCTOR: Can I suggest you
look for some downtime?

Could you sit out
the corporate retreat this year?

(SIGHS) Let them do the meet
without me?

(CHUCKLES) While the cat's away,
I don't fuckin' think so.

So...

how we looking?

I've burned villages
and overthrown governments

on your behalf,

and I believe
with the right offer,

correctly couched, uh,
we could be at a "maybe".

Maybe?

So?

Just taking five to regroup.

I've got three banks,
50 lawyers,

two PR agencies,

DF Kings,

and an army of private dicks
trying to fight this takeover,

but take five to eat
my pastries, why don't ya?

Uh, we were actually at, uh,
something of an impasse, um...

There were some doubts as to
whether, you know,

an acquisition is really
what we need right now.

LOGAN ROY: Uh-huh.

It is.

The bigger the better.

And I have it.

We're going for PGM.

Pierce.

Okay. Again. G-- Great.

-TOM WAMBSGANS: That's chunky.
-LOGAN: Nice and chunky.

We leverage up
and eat Pierce,

we're too big for Sandy
and Stewy to come for.

They'd fucking choke.

GERRI KELLMAN:
Could be a great move.

It's an, um, interesting
challenge,

because last time we tried it,
their surrogates

called us "cultural vandals,"

and "poison in the well
of public discourse."

(CHUCKLES)

Well...

times have changed.

Um, I-- I don't wanna say
too much.

Oh, some of the young cousins
want yacht money?

Well, it's-- it's delicate,
um,

like French kissing
an armadillo.

LOGAN: We're gonna fucking
eat them up.

-Good?
-Yeah. Let's do it.

-I like it.
-ROMAN ROY: Oh, fuck off, dude.

Don't be such a suck-up.
It's pathetic.

What about you, Romulus?

Uh, I fucking love it,
but that's my honest opinion.

Great. Forward. Fast.

We all like this?

(ALL ASSENTING)

Pierce...

Why does he keep coming back
to this?

I just-- You know,
I wanna understand.

KENDALL ROY: Uh, because
it's a force multiplier.

Once sector, many brands.

Plus PGM is basically
plug and play for us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 'cause
Uncle Ewan watches it.

It's his favorite news,
so Dad wants to buy it

-to piss him off.
-KARL: What, for 20 billion?

Well, can't he just take
the batteries out of his remote?

Well, Pierce also own
the New York Mail,

and we fucking hate the Mail.

Logan loaned a number of
ancient Greek military artefacts

to the Getty Villa,
and held a drinks reception.

The Mail did a hit piece.

They said he served
warm white wine,

and that he thought Plato
was one of the Marx brothers.

And to avenge that four inches
of newsprint,

we are rolling the dice on
a 20-billion-dollar crapshoot.

So...

Okay, I mean, yeah.
If there are doubts, let's--

-let's air them.
-(KARL SCOFFS)

-No, I--
-KENDALL: Because you're right,

if the debt from
an acquisition like this

became unmanageable,
we could death-spiral,

and then, uh, we'd all go down
with the ship.

It would be a reputational
and financial...

disaster for all of us. Right?

ROMAN: What are you saying, Ken?

No, I'm just gauging the room.

No, it's nonetheless
extremely exciting.

Oh, yeah. No, no. I-- I--
I like it.

-Good.
-Good.

KENDALL: Okay. Good. Great.

Let's, uh... Let's bag this
elephant for Dad.

ROMAN: Yeah. Let's do it.

Yeah. Let's bone this turkey.

So, Pierce is the answer.

Those blue-blooded fucks.

The business answer.
They take over defense.

It's the whole thing.
So what's next?

Uh, the tough part is contact
with the family.

We need a pair of safe hands.

Dainty hands,
in exquisite mittens.

Who's our most pointy-headed
fuck?

Well, it's a shame...

Uh, but you did have one
heavyweight that they liked.

Old Bore Vidal.

Oh, yeah. They all love
fucking Shakespeare Frank.

Backstabber.

What? Frank?

Yeah fuckin' right!

Oh. Dad, no.

Frank does have friends
in dry places.

He's close to Nam Pierce,
uh, Naomi.

LOGAN: You think he'd come back?

(KENDALL SIGHS) Yeah, maybe.

He's power-hungry
and status-obsessed,

and, you know, avaricious,

-so--
-And pretty much your godfather,

-and your closest business--
-KENDALL: Those are just facts.

This is fuckin' bullshit.
Jesus Christ.

I think he knows he did bad.

Oh, fuck. I swear to God, Dad,

if you bring him back,
I am walking.

Back to my office to...

-sulk. Fuck!
-LOGAN: Fine.

I don't fuckin' care.

Guest of fucking honor
at the retreat.

Let's try it. Good?

KENDALL: Corporate retreat?
You-- You still wanna do that?

-You don't wanna... hunker?
-Nah. It's a morale booster.

-Where is it?
-Uh, Hungary.

Still.

It'll keep the top team tight
till we agree on a strategy.

-No leaks.
-Okay.

Logan...

it's Connor.

I ranch , I ride,
I earn, and I give.

Just like you.

But... ding-dong,
who's there? Uncle Sam.

And where's his hand?

In my pants.

ROMAN: Hey, is anyone
in my house?

Hey. Uh, have you seen this?

Yeah.

He said he's beta testing it,

before he Instagrams
and enters the "ideas primary."

Maybe he's a genius.

TABITHA: That's one word for it.

ROMAN: A genius rancher.

All I want is a fair, flat tax,
same for all Americans,

but headed down to zero
within a decade or so.

-(CHUCKLES)
-CONNOR: What am I gonna do?
Well, I'll tell ya.

-I ain't paying.
-TABITHA: Oh, my God.

And if you want to arrest me,
go ahead.

No, really.
Just go ahead and try.

Quick question.

Do you think he even knows
what a jail is?

He literally only knows
it from Monopoly.

(LAUGHS) He's not actually gonna
put this out there,

-is he?
-Um...

I think Dad's all over it.

I have a question for you,
though.

Uh-huh.

You're, uh-- You're pals
with Naomi Pierce, right?

Yeah. Why?

Dad wants to buy PGM.

Pierce.

But that wouldn't be allowed.

Would it?

I mean that's what--
My parents watch that.

-That's like actual news.
-Mm-hmm.

He can do whatever the fuck
he likes.

He's like a human Saudi Arabia.

So, what, you-- you wanna use
Naomi to broker a deal?

Bingo.

And I think it's a good plan.

-I land the deal...
-Mm-hmm.

...I kill Kendall.
I'm crowned the king.

Just like in Hamlet.

If that happens in Hamlet.
I don't care.

-Just like Hamlet.
-Okay.

Um, here is Naomi's...

-(PHONE CHIMES)
-...address.

She's cool.
I think you'd like her.

-Oh, yeah?
-Hmm.

How do you know her, anyway?

Ew. You fucked her.

Is there anybody
you haven't fucked?

You.

(PHONE VIBRATES)

Dad. Hey. Finally.

Hello.

LOGAN: Enjoying your downtime?

Uh, I'm re-reading
the 10-K.

Uh, we need to talk
about Pierce.

That's not to be spoken of.
Who told you?

SHIV ROY:
Am I not supposed to know?

Hey, I was thinking,
we should maybe think of

a reason for me to be
on the retreat,

in case we're talking strategy.

Ah. Listen.

LOGAN: I need you to go
and see Connor.

Oh, what, I'm Connor's
babysitter now?

LOGAN: You're unemployed.
This is a job.

He could hurt us.

You don't go shouting
about tax.

We have arrangements.

We'll talk when I'm back,

-okay?
-SHIV: Dad, I--

(SIGHS)

-Hey.
-Hi. What the fuck is happening?

Do you know about chasing
Pierce?

Sure, I was in
the fucking meeting.

How do you know about Pierce?

I had Gerri on the phone.

She thinks Dad's gone woo-woo
and I agree.

Did your dad update you?

This is a disaster.
Who said what,

-and who wants to stop it?
-I think it could be good.

Yeah. Dick over Pierce,

dick over Sandy and Stewy,
double our size.

No one is gonna wanna tackle
a big angry puffer fish

bristling with dick.

Tom, it's batshit.
It's an obsession.

-What?
-Can you imagine the blowback?

Us trying to buy Pierce,
the most respected name in news?

But we already do news, right?
So it's just more news.

It's like synergies--

Yeah, but if we own
all the news,

I do actually wonder where
I'll get my fucking news.

Because at some point,
someone needs to actually

keep track of what's going on
in the world.

Who went where,
and who wore a hat.

I think it's gonna be
a separate brand.

Let me keep the truthy,
oatmeal branding.

Yeah, but the American Republic
is in not great shape as it is.

What, you've got the--
The Times, The Post,

editors at Pierce,

and a couple of hundred
angry young women on Twitter,

and that's about it.

-(SCOFFS) Please.
-SHIV: No! Tom,

it is thread-fucking-bare
out there,

and now we're gonna
eat another one?

Well, do you want to tell him
that?

SHIV: Tom, this is serious.

It's a snake eating
a crocodile.

It doesn't fit, it's too big.

It's a 20-billion-dollar
acquisition

that either breaks us or takes
half a decade to integrate.

We need to stop him.

So, talk to him in Hungary.

-What?
-Yeah.

I-- I don't think
I wanna do that, Shiv.

Uh... Oh, hello? Is this
the replicant department?

Yeah, my meat-puppet
has stopped working.

Shiv. Shiv.

Tom, I'm joking.

But I'm also not.

People would do well to remember

there's gonna be a new sheriff
in town one day.

So, rally the resistance,

Deputy.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, Gerri, what's the thinking
behind Hungary?

I's a nice place to shoot a gun
where no one cares what you hit.

So, guys, listen.

I have a great drinking game
for the flight.

Any time he says Pierce,
take a sip.

ROMAN: Oh, you brought your own?
Super soaker?

-Yep.
-I got my own. Blaser.

I don't wanna get into
a dick-measuring competition,

but I have a better,
more powerful dick than you.

Which I'm sure isn't
saying much.

LOGAN: Ken. You're with me.

Let's talk timetables.

I can't believe I'm a--
on a private plane.

It's like I'm in a band.

A very white, very wealthy...

band.

It's like I'm in U2.

Welcome to the inner-sanctum.

Yeah. Yeah, it's-- it's nice.

Way nicer than
the outer-sanctum.

Well, I hope you like red wine
and killing shit.

-...about the...
-LOGAN: What--

What the fuck's the whispering?

GERRI: Oh, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

Carolina has bad news,
I'm afraid. On the book.

The biography.

I told you to stop it.

GERRI: I know. I'm sorry.

We were very clear there'll be
no co-operation, but--

I don't want it to come out.

Okay-- Got it.

Well, it-- it will come out.

I can't actually,
in this nation, yet,

uh, sadly, halt the publication
of a book.

Yeah, we can.

GERRI: Well, we can threaten
and harass,

we can intimidate names

who might cooperate
and get a little dicey.

LOGAN: Everything.

The writer, Pantsil.

Can we not get her writing us
a movie for the next decade?

-Tooth comb her.
-Leave it with us.

LOGAN: Anyone who speaks to her
is fucked.

They're dead to me.

No one goes sniffing round
my fucking panties.

Well, I'm afraid that
what her friend has

suggests that she's met with
someone close to you already.

-Who?
-Well, we don't know.

But someone inside.

-Ken, is it you?
-Is it me?

Dad. (SCOFFS) Come on.
Jesus.

Well, it's just,
historically speaking,

when I'm betrayed,
it's usually you.

Oh, I'm kidding, son.
I'm kidding. (CHUCKLES)

I can get Sam on it.

Go to IT, comb emails,
company phones. Yep.

Fuck!

Fucking rats.

Rats!

What's going on in there?

Uh, somebody's trying to write
Dad's biography.

Oh, sh... Okay.

I hadn't heard. That's--
That's interesting.

He's not a fan of the old, uh,
the old biographical, uh...

Yeah, he's not a fan.

And, uh, seems like somebody
talked.

Okay.

That's bad.

So, yeah. Someone talked.
Someone inner-circle.

Sam over there will, uh,
smoke 'em out,

and, uh, Dad's gonna
chop them up

and throw them into
the fucking Danube.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Right.

Blue Danube no more.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

That's because...
I'm at a hunting lodge.

Pierce. We can start to push?

Well, that would be pushy.

Well, too slow
is no defense.

Well, too fast and we spook 'em.

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

-This is just-- Oh!
-Ah!

Mon dieu!

Nice, right?

Good for the morale.

-How's your morale?
-Great.

-We're very happy.
-LOGAN: Good.

I want my top minds
on Pierce.

I'm gonna need some meat
in the sandwich.

Mm?

You can do that, top minds?

-GERRI: You got it.
-Yeah.

(GERRI SIGHS)

Good?

Good. Yeah.

-Here you go.
-Good, good, good. Great.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Hello.

Is this the right place for
the punishment beating?

Frank! How ya been?
Come here, you old bastard!

Come on!

(SIGHS, CHUCKLES) Oh, Kendall,
where's the thing?

Yeah.

I'm sorry we didn't get a chance
to speak at the wedding, but...

You must have cut me dead
four times.

Ah, busy, busy, busy.

-Kendall, the thing. Oh.
-Yeah, here it is.

Frank.

-For you.
-What's this?

The back, the back.

(FRANK SIGHS)

"Some work of noble note
may yet be done,

not unbecoming men
who strove with gods."

That's nice. It's a nice thing.

You okay?

Sandy and Stewy have got
my nuts in a vice.

But Frank, you've got the grease
to slip them out.

-Right?
-Truly revolting image.

-Hey, Kenny.
-Good to see you, Frank.

ROMAN: Frank.

It's not been the same
without you.

It's been better.

-I'm fucking with you.
-Okay.

I'm-- I'm kidding, sir.

Gentlemen, time to change.

-Our safety briefing.
-Safety briefing?

Here's the safety briefing:

If you move against me,

I'll put a hole in the back
of your fucking head.

(BLENDER WHIRRING)

Connor?

Hey!

-SHIV: Hey!
-There you are.

-Here I am. Hi.
-Hi.

-What's this?
-Uh... You know.

Okay, thank you. Hey, listen.
Come with me.

I want you to meet
my consultants.

(KEYS TYPING)

You know Eric Schulman
and Bud Henley, of course.

-They've joined the team.
-Wow, Eric.

-Hey.
-CONNOR ROY: Good guys.

-You saw the vid?
-Uh, yeah.

Hey, Connor...

Those are serious guys.
They're fuckin' pieces of shit.

Yep. They're my pieces of shit.

(CHUCKLES)

Willa's finishing up a re-write.
Would you like a drink?

-Uh, no. I'm good. Thanks.
-CONNOR: Okay.

What's, uh-- What's in
the smoothie?

Burgundy.

-I'm sorry?
-I hyper-decant.

You don't hyper-decant?

You're just doing
regular decanting?

If by regular decanting you mean

pouring into my open mouth,
yeah.

You should hyper-decant.

It softens the tannins.
Heightens the aromas.

You can age your wine five years
in ten seconds.

Truly.

-Mm-hmm.
-Connor...

You know what they do
to rich people in jail.

Yes, they let them out early

to mitigate the risk
of litigation.

Going to jail
is not a good look.

Not many campaign posters
use mugshots.

The world has changed, Shiv.

The old shibboleths
are crumbling.

And you know what?
The elites are scared.

I can see 'em down there,

a-scrabbling and reconfiguring,

with no clue what the whirlwind
they have stirred heralds.

Do you think that maybe
if you're looking down

on the elites from, like,
you know, this penthouse,

maybe it's indicative
of something?

Smart.

My baby sister is smart, right?

-She is. Hey.
-SHIV: Hi.

-How are you?
-Uh, yeah. Connor,

don't release the video.
Okay? Please?

(SIGHS) Why?

The family. We're worried
you're gonna humiliate us,

and humiliate yourself.

-CONNOR: Oh, okay. Dad?
-Yeah.

Dad wants to stop me.

Well, tell him to get in line
behind Bezos and the Clintons.

Connor, I'm asking a favor.

Please.

Well, how about I make
counter-offer?

I'd like to make a rather
indecent proposal.

I'm g-- (CHUCKLES) guessing
you haven't seen that film.

Ooh. He has. Yeah,
it's his favorite.

I happen to know
you're at a loose end.

Shiv, come and work for me.

Hmm? What? No.

(LAUGHS) No. No.

It's a big offer. Big.

Big offer, Shiv.
You'd run the whole shebang.

And look, if Gil fired you,
maybe you're, um,

-a difficult hire right now.
-He didn't fire me.

-I walked out.
-Okay.

-I-- I--
-No. Okay.

So what would it take
for you to change your mind?

-A lobotomy.
-(CONNOR LAUGHS)

And a total realignment
of modern politics.

The-- Connor, the video
is batshit.

Okay.

I will consider with my team.

-Okay.
-CONNOR: Mm! Okay.

Guys, I need five.

I'll come back
and we'll shoot the shit.

Hey, what's, uh...

(WHISPERS) What's your read
on this?

Sorry, I-- (STAMMERS)
I, um...

I have to go.
I'm meeting my cast for drinks.

Oh, okay. That sounds fun.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean,

(CHUCKLES) it's basically
just a bunch of actors,

you know, bitching
in a shitty bar.

-Uh-huh. Can I, uh...
-What?

You wanna come?

Well, yeah. You know,
I'd love an audience

with the future first lady.

(CHUCKLES) Okay. Yeah. Come on.

(GEESE HONKING)

-(DOG BARKING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-You okay there?
-Yeah.

(GROANS) This is nice.

Europe.

Nice bit of war-torn,

spooky,

anti-Semitic, vampirey,
authoritarian Europe.

Yeah.

Hey, Greg, it's good
to see you, man.

You're spending so much time
hanging out with Kendall,

a girl could start to wonder.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

No. No. No.

Listen. Uh... So-- Yeah,
c-- can I ask you something?

On the-- On the friend level?

Yeah. You worried about
what you did in Cruises?

What we did? No. No. Uh...

No. I was gonna ask you about
this Sam guy.

-Do you know him?
-Rat-fucker Sam? Yeah, sure.

You know
he background-checked me

before I started dating Shiv?

Wow. Yeah. So, what's his--
(STAMMERS) Is he--

Like, what's his competency?

Is he-- Is he nice?

Is he nice? You're asking
about the moral character

of a man named Rat-fucker Sam?

He is a fucking piece of
fucking shit, is what he is.

-Yeah. What's up, Greg?
-(GREG SIGHS)

We've been through a bit, right?

Can I trust you?

Yes. Of course you can trust me.

To a point, yes.

So, you know how Logan's mad

someone talked to
his biographer?

-Greg.
-So...

I'm wondering
how likely it is

that Sam will find out
the person emailed

-from a private email.
-Oh, fuck, man. Really?

I didn't even meet her.
I didn't-- I pre-met her.

She-- She tried to turn
the pre-meet into a meet-meet,

so I left.

Okay, well. (LAUGHS)
Oh, my--

If you-- If you tell Logan,

he might kill you.

-Mm.
-Okay,

so you need to put that
in the locker, man,

and don't tell anyone.

And pray that you can trust me,

'cause you just handed me
a valuable piece of capital.

Greg!

Buddy. Trust no one, ever.

Okay. Wise words.

-(WILLA LAUGHS)
-SHIV: No, not having me here,

just being out of--
out of the desert.

-(WILLA LAUGHS)
-(LAUGHS) Yeah.

Hey, can I ask you a favor,
about Con?

Sure thing.

Could you maybe get him to
pump the brakes on that video?

-WILLA: Mm...
-And actually just the whole

wanting to be the leader
of the free world thing?

He does love a project. I...

Oh, yeah. No, I know, but...

I mean, you're smart.
You're... worldly.

-You get it.
-Okay.

I mean, I thought
it looked okay, but...

♪ ("MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE"
BY THE POLICE PLAYS) ♪

And you and Con, you're--
I mean, you're okay, right?

It's... This whole...

Sure. I mean, we support
each other's dreams.

His dream is
the White House.

Mine is Broadway.

Uh-huh.

Well, you realize those guys
that he's got in there,

those are serious guys.

I mean, they'll suck
ten million from him,

and he won't even realize
it's gone.

And how much is your play
gonna cost?

WILLA: Mm-hmm.

Okay, I'll think about it.

-I will. Thank you, Shiv.
-Uh-huh.

-Willa.
-Hi! Good to see you.

And you. Hi. Chris.

Shiv.

WILLA: And you, Shiv?

-Me?
-Yeah.

Are you okay? You're happy,
calm, everything?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fuck, yeah.

I got everything I could want.

Great.

Cheers. (CHUCKLES)

-(GLASSES CLINK)
-Oh, hey.

KENDALL:
You look good with a rifle.

(DOG BARKING)

How you doin', man?

Eh. You?

I think my guy's working
for the boar.

Hey, so listen,
I have a question.

-Mm-hmm?
-Between us,

did you get a call
from that biographer?

I mean, yeah, obviously.
I'm the interesting one.

You?

Yeah.

Yeah.

-You thinking of talking to her?
-Uh...

I don't know.

Maybe.

What about you?

Uh, no. I mean...

If you're gonna talk to her,
I guess I have to talk to her,

just to correct your bullshit.

So why are you so into Pierce?

I just think we know news,
you know, stay in our lane.

Do you like it?

Oh, I fuckin' love it.

-(PHONE VIBRATING)
-Yeah, I mean,

synergies are great.

Exactly. Carnage and layoffs,
all that shit. Ooh.

Uh... Pardon me.
This is private.

Hello.

You have Roman.

How are you?

Oh, yeah?
And what would that be?

Great. Let's, uh--
Let's stay across that.

Mm-hmm. Thank you for
the information.

Talk soon.
Thanks for letting me know. Bye.

Good news?

-Um, yeah, sure.
-Hey, come on, man.

What was that?

Just fuckin' leave it.
It's a PR thing. It was nothing.

Look at me.

I know you. Come on.
You're full of shit.

Well, I know you.

Why the fuck are you lying
about Pierce?

HUNTER: We are ready
to do the drive now.

All right. Go on.

Let's go murder
a terrified mammal.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Okay.

We're such shitty hunters

that we're just
shooting piggies in a barrel.

Might as well just throw
a grenade at the pigs.

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-(HORN BLOWS)

-(GUNFIRE)
-(MEN SHOUTING)

(PIGS GRUNTING AND SQUEALING)

-(DOGS BARKING)
-(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)

-(WHISTLE BLOWS)
-(MEN SHOUTING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hold on. Hold on.

Good.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

-Hey, listen, Karl.
-Yeah?

I was thinking I--
It would be nice to have a chat,

'cause I was-- about a possible
cool move for you?

-Oh, right. Oh, Gerri?
-GERRI: Yeah?

Yeah. We-- Uh, we wanted to have
a, uh-- a chat with you, Tom.

-Yeah.
-Um...

I don't know how you feel
about Pierce,

but a few of us were having
a few doubts.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Okay. Well, that's interesting.
That's-- That's really smart.

Why don't you--
Why don't you raise it?

Okay. Although we also thought
it could be good

-for you to talk to him?
-Yeah.

Okay. All right. Although...

wouldn't it be better
if it came from

-old, trusted...
-Right.

-...colleagues?
-That's smart.

Karl, that's interesting.
Should we do it?

That would be cool.

Um, it's not a big deal, really,
who actually says it.

I guess you are family,
and he does treat family

-differently.
-Yeah. No, sure.

Although, he did once call me
"The Cunt of Monte Cristo."

-(ALL LAUGH)
-That's-- That was joshing.

In a way, that's a testament
to your closeness.

-In a way...
-He likes you, Tom.

He likes you.
You're a fine mind, articulate,

-strong leader.
-(SCOFFS) I'm articulate?

Oh, you're so kind, you know.

In fact, I'm so flattered,

I'll just fucking walk
right into the machine gun nest.

Also, I've spoken to Shiv

and I know she asked you
to talk to him.

-You spoke to Shiv?
-And if you don't,

and she asks, yeah?

That's where heroes are born,
Tom. On the battlefield.

It's also commonly
where they're killed, Gerri.

KARL: We'll back you up.

Well, Logan, uh, look...

I hate to be a party pooper,
but I have poop.

The Pierce family bank
have called to say

the family got word
that you were on maneuvers.

It freaked them out.
We need to back right off.

This was supposed to be
choreographed.

That's about as choreographed

as a dog getting fucked
on roller-skates.

Was there a leak?

It was cagey.
It might have been accidental.

No. No, no.
This was no accident.

Someone's trying to fuck me.

Who knew? No one.

It's someone here.

I've got snakes
in the fucking basket.

Do you want me to
go down the list

-of other acquisition targets?
-No!

I want Pierce!

Get back to the city.
Find another way.

Oh, some of these fuckers

are trying to kill this.
Fucking pygmies!

Fucking lice!

-♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

LOGAN: How we all doing?

All havin' a nice time
on the company dollar?

Ah.

Gerri, you all right?
You look tired.

Oh, no, I'm-- I'm good, thanks.

Good. 'Cause I want the Pierce
pension options first thing.

Right, so-- so I should
probably go.

Stay. You know, we need
to boost morale.

Okay, great. Yeah.
I can feel it rising.

Oh, Logan? Just a-- a heads up.
A fam-- A family heads up,

just to-- just to let you know

that in a moment
I might say something,

but not to worry,
'cause it's not real.

Okay?

-Wh--
-Just, headline is

I'm gonna say something,
but disregard it.

I think that people think of me
as a kind of leader.

Because there was an issue
that they wanted raised,

but don't you be under
the impression

that-- that I'm against
what I'll say I'm against. Okay?

-Pierce.
-What?

Pierce. People are against it.

But that's because
they're scared.

But they think of me as
kind of brave,

which I would be if I needed
to be, but I don't, so...

Good.

LOGAN: A toast.

Uh, musicians?

-Pianissimo.
-♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

Uh...

To our top team.

ALL: Top team.

-Top team.
-LOGAN: Mm.

And again. And again.
Fill her up, fill her up.

Eat, everybody. Eat.
And drink.

Come on now. It's a party,
isn't it? (CHUCKLES)

Come on. Hey! Ray,
where you going?

To take a leak.

Uh, you know. We're all
sticking together.

If you need a leak,
piss in a bucket.

I mean... (CHUCKLES)
we're locking down.

It's all right.
We're all pals here. Yeah.

(LAUGHS) Right.

Jesus Christ, Ray.
I'm pullin' your pisser.

Put that bucket down,
you disgusting bastard.

Oh, my God.

Where do we find 'em?

Musicians! Thank you. Again.

-♪ (MUSIC RESUMES) ♪
-Good. The food.

Sit, sit.

CHRIS: So what do you do?
Something important?

Uh, no. Nope.

Well, you will one day.

(SHIV LAUGHS)

Here's hopin'.

Uh, I gotta make a call.

Jealous boyfriend?

No.

Just a guy who works for me.

-Working on a Saturday?
-He better be.

Wow, sounds like
you're riding him hard.

Well, maybe he likes it.

Are you flirting with me?

Your flirt got all over
my pants.

I'll be right back.

Hey, Tom. Just checking
you talked to him.

Don't let me down, soldier.

Shiv? (CHUCKLES)

-It's, uh...
-(SHIV SIGHS)

Connor Roy,
eldest son of media mogul,

-Logan Roy...
-SHIV: Oh, Jesus Christ.

...announced his intention
to go to prison,

rather than pay
federal income tax

at the current level.

Hey. Connor Roy.

He looks cute, though.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

GREG: It tastes... I guess
boar tastes like chicken.

No! Boar is boar.
Boar is piggy.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

TOM: Try that black...

-blood sausage--
-Come on, everyone.

We're supposed to be
having a nice time! Drink!

KARL: Tom.
Now's the time, Tom.

-Oh, you think?
-Yeah.

LOGAN: Paid enough.

(LAUGHTER)

A toast. Uh-- Oh, Frank.
You wanna?

Oh. Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)

Uh-- (LAUGHS)
'Scuse me.

-To old friends.
-Lovely. To old friends.

-(FRANK LAUGHS)
-Wow.

Why'd you come, Frank?

-W-- Here?
-LOGAN: Mm-hmm.

-Because you invited me.
-LOGAN: Uh-huh.

Not on a recon for some of
your old stuck up pals?

Logan, we're old. I try not to
leave fences broken.

LOGAN: You're a fucking creep.

-Excuse me?
-LOGAN: Ah.

I mean you-- you went for
three jobs,

you didn't get any of them.

Your vineyard was a write-off.

And now your trophy girlfriend

is sucking some waiter's dick
in Palermo,

so now you've come
crawling back,

like a fucking worm.

I'm actually kinda glad
he's back now.

What's happening here?

Ken.

(WHISPERING)
Talk to him, Tom. Now.

(WHISPERING) Fuck off.

Someone has spoken
to Michelle Pantsil.

We've got rats on this ship.

And Pierce.

What's going on? Hmm?

Who's got my back?

Who's really behind me?

Anyone? Excuse me. Anyone
wanna own up? Hmm?

Anyone wanna rat out a rat?

Cyd?

Are you a rat?

No.

-How about you?
-(STAMMERS) No. I'm not.

Karl, you got something
to tell me?

Um, such as?

Oh, I don't know,
where the local whorehouse is.

(KARL CHUCKLES)

Well, I don't know about that.

Does your old lady
know about that?

Hmm, no.

Um, you know. Um...

She knows that I'm
something of a Libertine,

-but-- Okay.
-Oh, is-- is that a yes?

Sh-- Should we get her on
the speaker phone and ask her?

Oh, come on. Logan, please.
What the fuck?

Everyone, phones on the table.

Company and private. Come on.
Phones on the table now.

GERRI: Is that really necessary?

I'm not even sure it's--
it's legal

-to demand people--
-LOGAN: Yeah, well,

we're getting down to
brass fucking tacks.

Tom, did you and your
fragile ego talk to Pantsil?

No. No, sir.

No. Logan, why don't we
switch to strategy?

Oh, oh. Here's a strategy,
Tom:

Why don't you pipe down
till you come and tell me

I've got a grandson coming?

Hmm?
Or are you shooting blanks?

-Karl?
-KARL: Yeah?

Do you like the, uh,
the Pierce deal?

I do. I do, yes.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

(LOGAN CHUCKLES) Bullshit.

Boar on the floor.

(KARL SCOFFS)

LOGAN: Hey!

-(CHUCKLES) Okay.
-It's a game.

In the corner, over there.
Stand there.

-Go, go, go, go, go.
-(KARL LAUGHS)

All right. (SIGHS)

Tom?

-Me?
-Yeah.

-Uh, Pierce?
-Yeah.

Um...

Well, there's a lot of...
(CLEARS THROAT)

factors, and...

but yes. I personally--
I like it. I like it.

Boar on the floor over there.

Gerri, stand up.

Stand up!

Pierce?

Couldn't tell you.
Couldn't tell you. Don't know.

-Have you played it before?
-No!

Well, actually, I...

To be perfectly honest,
I've-- I've had a few doubts.

LOGAN: Honesty.

You see, everybody?
Do you see?

Honesty.

Greg, stand up.

Did you get any orders
from my brother,

the fuckin' Conscience
of the Prairies?

-Me?
-LOGAN: Yeah.

I... don't... Uh...

Yeah. I-- 'Cause I--
(STAMMERS)

I've had some doubts too.

Oh? Fucking doubter.
Over there.

But the rules are that you're
spared if you tell the truth,

-and I just told you the truth!
-Oh, oh! There are rules?

-GREG: Right?
-Do you know something, Greg?

There are no fucking rules.
(WHISPERS) Over there.

GREG: Okay. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(ROMAN CHUCKLES)

LOGAN: Roman!

I like it for real, Dad,

-I wanna help--
-Stand the fuck up.

Um, okay.

Kendall took a call
from the biographer.

We all got a call, Rome.

Okay, yes, but you--
See, he seemed like

he wanted to actually
talk to her.

To smoke you out for Dad.

What? Fuck you. Why'd you get
to smoke me out?

I was smokin' you out.

Why don't you tell us
about your mystery call?

The phone call?

Uh, yeah. It was Frank.

He meant to call you.

He wants to know if the plan to
overthrow Dad
is still happening.

Someone spiked Pierce.

Which one of you boars
did it?

-Tom!
-Yes?

Sit on the floor!

It's fun.

-Seriously?
-Yeah, it's a game!

-Boar on the floor!
-TOM: I really-- I feel--

LOGAN: Get down!

Boar on the floor.

Boar on the floor.
Kendall, bring the troops.

ALL: (CHANTING)
Boar on the floor.

-Get down!
-ALL: Boar on the floor.

-Greg! On the floor, boar.
-(CHANTING CONTINUES)

-Come on, Frank!
-(CHANTING CONTINUES)

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Why am I in this?

How the fuck would I know, Greg?

You think I have a rational
explanation for this?

Frank! Feed the piggies,
guests of honor!

That's it. Boar on the floor!

ALL: Boar on the floor!

Oink for your sausages,
piggies. Shh. Shh. Shh.

Oink for your sausages,
piggies. Oink.

KARL: Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oink for your sausage, Tom.
Oink.

Oink.

-LOGAN: No.
-(TOM SNORTING)

No half-hearted oink.

-I'm not doing it.
-KARL: Oink, oink, oink.

On the count of three,

the last piggy to eat
a sausage is the mole.

That doesn't seem like
a very good system...

Who spoke to Pantsil?

(WHISPERING) Please.

Hey!

Crawl in a circle
and close your eyes.

-(LAUGHTER)
-Three...

Greg, oink.

(GREG SNORTS)

Two...

(GREG, TOM AND KARL SNORTING
AND OINKING)

One...

(CHEERING AND LAUGHING)

Eat the sausage, Tom!

-TOM: I got it!
-(JEERING)

(SHOUTING AND CLAMORING)

Take it out of his hand!

Come on.

Karl stole my sausage.

Too effing slow.
I'll get you your booby prize.

Eat up, piggies.

ROMAN: I believe he said
"Eat up, piggies."

I wanna see you little
piggy fucks eat. Eat it.

Indemnification,
you fuckin' dummy.

Wh-- You fucking serious?
How old are you?

Give me back my fucking phone.

-Huh? What are you hiding?
-What are you-- Wh-- Hiding?

Nothing. Give me back
my fucking phone.

-What's your code?
-Are you fucking serious?

-Yeah. What's your--
-My code? Uh, my code is,

um, fuck you-- What?

(KENDALL AND ROMAN
ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)

Okay, you got it. All right?
Happy? There's nothing in there.

Hey, do you wanna hit this?

It's actually just some resin
I left in the downpipe

-in the bowl, I'm afraid.
-Mm. Wow, yum. No.

-Uh, thank you.
-All right.

So, uh, no TV?

You a-- You a laptop guy?

Nah, no screens.

No, uh-- No news?

Oh, I don't follow the news.

No, these days,
actually the real news

-comes from comedians.
-(CHUCKLES) Oh. Wow.

I'm not crazy to hear
the next thing you're gonna say.

Can I just kiss you?

Uh, full disclosure,
I am in a relationship,

but it's an open relationship.

It sounds bohemian
and complicated,

but actually it's pretty simple.

You, um-- Wow. Do you have
any, uh, questions?

-Um, I don't think so.
-Great.

Mm.

(CHUCKLES)

(SHOUTING AND LAUGHING)

-Hey, I'm sorry.
-ROMAN: Give me my phone.

Give me my fucking phone.

You're-- Grab my--
You like touching me?

Grab my fucking balls,
I will drop you, cocksucker.

Yeah, you see a phone number,
so what?

LOGAN: All must have prizes.

What's in there?
What's the prize?

Hey, Dad?

It was Roman.
Roman talked to Pierce.

He, uh, took a call
from Naomi Pierce.

Dad.

Roman, did someone
get at you?

Dad, I didn't betray you.

Then what's this call
from today?

-Why are you talking to her?
-Come on, man.

I wasn't trying
to fuck the deal,

I was trying to land the deal.

I was trying to help. I--

I thought it would be
a nice surprise.

Roman...

you're a moron.

Boar on the floor?

-I'm just saying.
-Fuck you.

I'm not a moron, Dad.

(LOGAN SIGHS)

How much is a gallon of milk?

What?

-How much is a gallon of milk?
-I don't know.

I mean, who the fuck knows,
Dad? Literally no one knows.

-Who gives a shit?
-LOGAN: Ray!

How much is a gallon of milk?
-Uh-- Uh, wh--

I mean, like regular milk,
or, uh...

I am surrounded by snakes
and fucking morons.

You're a bunch of
silk-stocking fucks!

Who backs me on Pierce?

Hmm?

Who?

KENDALL: None of them do, Dad.

They're all against it.

Okay? Karl's lying,

Ray's lying,
Gerri's playing both sides.

(SIGHS) Well...

(CHUCKLES)

Here's news.
We are going after it.

And what's more...

I will win.

Hey, morning.

How you doing'? Quite a night.
I don't know about you guys,

but I had one too many.
I can't remember anything.

(CHUCKLES)

Morning, Tom.

-Sausage?
-No, thank you.

-I'll eat your sausage, Tom.
-I'm sure you will, Cyd.

What you were expecting?

Not really.

He said he offered you
your job back.

Yeah.

I'm considering.

Why?

I need money to pay someone
to kill a guy in Palermo.

Baby needs shoes,
moth to a flame...

(SIGHS) I don't know.

Hey.

Hey.

Morning, morning. Morning.

-Coffee?
-Nah. The usual.

(SIGHS)

Come, join me.

I'm, uh, sorry if last night
got a little bit fruity.

(CHUCKLES) But, you know...

jet-lag, meds, horseplay, right?
Right?

The jet-lag...

Mm-hmm.
I get the same way.

I just heard
who Michelle Pantsil talked to.

It was Mo.

Piece of shit!

I also talked to Maria.
Mo passed away last night.

What?

Mo now?

Jesus.

Uh...

Give Maria my, um...

uh, condolences. I...

I-- In fact, send Sam over.
Let's crack his email.

I want to know
what the fuck he's been saying.

Mo, hmm.

-(CLEARS THROAT) Hey, Greg.
-Hey, Tom.

(LOGAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(WHISPERING) Thanks, man.

ROMAN: No-- Uh, thank you.
I can do that. Thanks.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

-Um...
-They-- They're waiting for you.

-ROMAN: So?
-So, hurry up.

So Frank's my fucking babysitter
again.

(GERRI LAUGHS)

Dad is killing me. He's cutting
my fucking balls off.

I can't do my buttons.

Are they fucking made of soap?

Come here.

You know, if I were capable
of any sudden movement,

I would totally
pounce on you right now.

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

I actually hear that a lot.

Usually from men
in their nineties.

You have to do that one.
(CLEARS THROAT)

How are you doing?

Terrible.

Pretty... awful.

GERRI: Mm-hmm.

I'm blaming Tabitha,
by the way.

It was her idea.

Next time you need
business advice,

ask someone who knows
what they're talking about.

-What, you?
-Yeah. Like me.

Okay. Well, how do I get him
to take me seriously?

Grow a moustache
and read the Journal?

I'll fuckin' do it.

Okay, Roman,
if you wanna know...

Mm-hmm.

...do the management training
program, ground floor.

Work at a slaughterhouse.

Learn the price of
a gallon of milk.

What the fuck is his obsession
with milk?

You know who drinks milk?
Kittens and perverts.

FRANK: Hey, Logan.

Pierce's CEO,
Rhea Jarrell,

emailed saying she heard
about your approach.

She can help us.

So... can you bring me
her head on a platter?

I can bring you her head

attached to the rest of
her body.

Good.

Even better.

KENDALL: Good work, Frank.

Great.

SHIV: Hey.

How was it?

It was pretty, uh...

-pretty tough... actually, yeah.
-Yeah?

Anybody fill you in?

Uh, no. Wh-- What happened?

Um, your dad was a little
peppery.

Oh. I'm sorry, Tom.

Maybe it wasn't totally great
what you sent me to do.

Which is kind of the opposite
of what I wanted to do.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

I mean...

-we're a team, right?
-Yeah.

But I-- I don't wanna be a dick,

but maybe I should
have a bit more input

into team tactics.

Yeah. Sure.
Of course.

Thanks.

So, how was your weekend?

-SHIV: Me?
-Yeah. Anything to report?

Uh...

Yeah. Okay.

Do you want to know?

Oh.

I don't... maybe later.

Come here.

(BOTH KISSING)

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Hey, Dad.

LOGAN: Hello, Pinkie.

Sorry I missed your call.

Had a lot to deal with.

Termites in the woodwork.
Insurgents.

Oh, yeah?

Coming from where?

Oh, front row, cheap seats,
every-fucking-where.

SHIV: Not from me.

What are you doing
at the moment?

-I'm free.
-LOGAN: We'll set a date.

It's time to bring you in.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

SHIV ROY:
Dad's in a secret meeting,

and I'm in here
with a coloring book.

What's going on, Gerri?

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

LOGAN ROY: I want Pierce,

but it only works
if we meet fast.

KENDALL ROY: Rhea, she's coming.

The family trusts her,
you get her on board,

that's huge.

On behalf of the Pierce family,
I have a message.

What's that?

-What, what?
-Sir, please follow me, yeah.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Wait, where's Kendall,
is he safe?

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

LOGAN ROY: Ah! Bon Dieu!

Nice, right?
Good for the morale.

How's your morale?

♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

-Great.
-LOGAN: Good.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

JESSE ARMSTRONG: In 203, they go
on a hunting trip to Hungary.

The centerpiece of the episode

is this sort of
nightmarish dinner

that Logan hosts.

LOGAN: To our top team.

ARMSTRONG: I was lit-inspired
by reading about Stalin

would have these long dinner
drinking parties

where sometimes,
he would drink water

and get his commissars
and marshals

to drink alcohol and then,

he'd use their indiscretions
against them later.

-(TABLE GUESTS CLAMOR)
-Come on, everyone!

We're supposed to be having
a nice time. Drink!

It had a flavor
of those dinner parties

and the humiliations
he'd mete out.

-Tom!
-Yes?

Sit on the floor!

-Seriously?
-Yeah, it's a game.

-Boar on the floor.
-I really-- I feel--

LOGAN: Get down!

The actual boar on the floor
just came from thinking about

the context they were in
and the sort of thing

that might occur to him.

Oink for your sausages, piggy.
Oink, oink!

That feeling of a powerful man
unhinged.

Who spoke to Pencil?

Tom and Greg, a crucial moment
when Tom,

he maybe could
get some money in the bank

by selling him out, doesn't.

LOGAN: Hey! Crawl in a circle
and close your eyes.

-Greg, oink!
-(OINKING)

I don't think it's definitive
that it hasn't--

Tom hasn't changed
into a good guy.

It just seemed to us,

true people have different sides
to them,

and Tom, for whatever reason,
had enough regard for Greg

that he-- he didn't want to
do it in that moment.

-How was it?
-It was pretty, uh...

pretty tough.

Shiv and Tom, it's complicated.

How was your weekend?

-SHIV ROY: Me?
-Y-- yeah. Anything to report?

Uh... yeah.

He found out
on his wedding night

that she wasn't
really super keen

on a monogamous relationship
and that was tough.

-Do you wanna know?
-Maybe later.

ARMSTRONG: There is a bond
in that relationship,

I think, of like
sexual connection

and intellectual--
and they have a bunch

of different ways that
they do connect.

And so, it's not
a dead relationship,

even if it's
a quite troubled one.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪