All language subtitles for Mad About You - s02e06

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:58,220 - Where are you going? - Out. 2 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,789 - Hey, is it going to rain? - Don't worry. 3 00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:04,623 - You'll be able to shoot the parade. - How do you know? 4 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:09,326 - Because it rained last Halloween. - Is that like a rule? 5 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,369 If that's Lou, I'm not here. 6 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,565 Hello? Fran, I know. I know. I'm leaving right now. 7 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,176 Okay, I'll meet you there. Bye-bye. 8 00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:20,778 I'm meeting her. I'll be home by the time you're done. 9 00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,643 - I don't know when I'll be done. - I don't know when I'll be home. 10 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,751 That's all you had to say. 11 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:30,550 There's a big bowl of candy in the kitchen, in case I don't get back. 12 00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:34,489 - That would be what, like, supper? - No, it's for trick-or-treaters. 13 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,595 What trick-or-treaters? In two years... 14 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,628 ...we've never had a kid come to the door. 15 00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,595 You are such a Scrooge about Halloween. 16 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,759 Yes, but I'm a delight on Flag Day. 17 00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:48,200 - What is it with you and Halloween? - It's... I had a thing. 18 00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:50,001 - What thing? - It's a private thing. 19 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,937 Okay. 20 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,410 All right, it was years ago, but... 21 00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,316 ...it was Halloween. I'm dressed up. 22 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,180 I'm Superman, right? I'm dressed. 23 00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,082 I'm standing, minding my own business... 24 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,813 ...as Superman is wont to do... 25 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:07,619 ...and all of a sudden the Escobar brothers come out of nowhere... 26 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,785 - The Escobar brothers? - Yes, Escobar brothers... 27 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,090 Matty, Felipe and Jesus. 28 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:15,723 So they had just turned 10, so they're like on a reign of terror. 29 00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:19,429 - I thought you were Superman. - They don't respect the uniform. 30 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,039 - Want to hear the story? - Next time. 31 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,004 Very colorful. 32 00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:24,336 - Hi. - Hi. 33 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:28,538 I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. 34 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,912 No problem. Honey? 35 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:35,586 What, my brother didn't tell you? You didn't tell her? 36 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:39,917 Debbie is bringing Jed to stay with us for a couple of hours. I forgot. 37 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,654 Hey, buddy, come here. Where's the face? 38 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,828 I have to go to this funeral, and my babysitter has Giant tickets. 39 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,231 - You didn't tell her? - I forgot, okay? 40 00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:51,836 - We'll be okay. - Will you be all right? 41 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,099 Fine. Come in. I'm so sorry. Who died? 42 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,833 Just one of my clients. 43 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,978 It's a business funeral, not a pleasure funeral. 44 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:04,174 - What about trick-or-treat? - We'll trick-or-treat tonight, honey. 45 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:08,184 He has a $45 costume waiting in the garage. 46 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,948 - Can I watch the Screamathon? - No Screamathon. 47 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,888 No Screamathon. You've become quite a Scrooge about Halloween. 48 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,119 - You hate Halloween. - I don't hate Halloween. 49 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,459 He had a big trick-or-treating trauma in high school. 50 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,463 High school? 51 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,897 Wait, wait. The Superman incident was in high school? 52 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:29,166 - First of all, it was not in high school. - You told me you were 10. 53 00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,401 No. I said the Escobar brothers were 10. 54 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:35,339 - These were burly triplets, big guys. - No. He was 16. 55 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,847 - You were 16? - I wasn't 16, but they had candy corn. 56 00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:41,680 They were throwing them at my chest, like little triangular Kryptonite. 57 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:42,946 Like, bam-bam-bam! 58 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,893 All right, sweetie, you be good. Okay? 59 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,495 - Thanks. - Yeah, sure. 60 00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,029 - It's starting to go there, Pauly. - I told you. 61 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,599 Go. Go to your funeral already. Have fun. 62 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,827 - Bye-bye. - I'm sorry he didn't tell you. 63 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,097 No problem. 64 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,106 - Problem? - Oh, yeah. 65 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:21,391 - What are you doing? - All right, all right. 66 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:31,930 - I'm sorry. I forgot. - I just can't believe you didn't tell me. 67 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,196 What is he, an immigrant? He understands. 68 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:38,333 - I love Jed. - It's nothing personal. I just forgot. 69 00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:40,775 - I was supposed to meet Fran today. - So you go. 70 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,574 What are you gonna do with him by yourself? 71 00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:45,874 - That's true. Don't go. - I am going eventually. 72 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:49,920 - I told her I'd meet her this afternoon. - But I have to shoot the parade today. 73 00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:53,581 - So my plans don't count? - Ordinarily, yes. Today, no. 74 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,751 - Because? - They only have Halloween parades... 75 00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:58,897 ...on days that they have Halloween. - I can't find Aladdin. 76 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:02,694 - Well, we'll find it. Keep looking. - His mother said no Aladdin. 77 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,360 His mother's not here. So there. 78 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,098 - Should we rent something for us? - Look. They did it again. 79 00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,765 - What? - They made up these new categories. 80 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:13,776 Look at this, Action Horror, Action Comedy... 81 00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:16,073 ...Action Tragedy Comedy, Romantic Comedy... 82 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,580 ...Comedy Comedy. - They did not. 83 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:20,378 - What does that say? - Comedy Comedy. 84 00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:23,420 - What does that mean? - Twice as funny. 85 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,451 - Can we get The Three Stooges? - Sure. 86 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:29,823 - Hey, you like the Stooges? - Yeah. 87 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,089 You remember Larry? 88 00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:36,292 That's him. 89 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,596 - No, it's not. - Yes... Hey, hey, Larry. 90 00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:42,002 - Say hello to my little nephew here. - Hey, Pauly, cute kid. 91 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,336 Reminds me of the reformatory. 92 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:50,081 - Wow! - Do the thing where you yell at Moe. 93 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,047 - I'd better not. - Right. 94 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:56,749 - Listen, you got a copy of Aladdin? - Let me check. 95 00:05:56,923 --> 00:06:00,859 - I'll be back. - What are you doing? 96 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,695 - Nothing. - I've asked you not to do that. 97 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:09,460 - All right, all right. - Go get the tapes from the night drop. 98 00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:12,864 - Sorry, Dutch. - Yeah, that's show biz. 99 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,338 Hi. You got a copy of Aladdin for us? 100 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,534 - Buchman? - Yes, sir. 101 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,235 How about cleaning up this late charge? 102 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,007 - We don't have any late charges. - $38. Son of Paleface. 103 00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:26,447 You could have bought it for 6.99. 104 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:29,144 - You never returned Son of Paleface? - You were supposed to. 105 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:33,258 - You rented it. Why would I return it? - People don't do that in this country? 106 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,387 - I really want to see this. - What is it? 107 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:39,725 - Volvika. - It's a love story about two gymnasts. 108 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,257 - What's the matter with you? - What? 109 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,164 Why would you want to see a bad movie? 110 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,170 - You're homophobic. - Why insist on seeing a bad movie? 111 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,240 - You've never seen it. - I'll never see it. 112 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,674 'Cause you're homophobic. You won't let a man give you a massage. 113 00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,813 No. That's because... That's not true at all. 114 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,211 If a stranger is rubbing oil on my buttocks... 115 00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,113 That's not it. The word "penis" makes you uncomfortable. 116 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,447 It's not "penis." "Penis" doesn't bother me. 117 00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,113 - Say the word. - How are you? 118 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:12,258 Fran, I'm sorry. What can I say? He didn't tell me. 119 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,333 Okay, I'll meet you in front of Barneys at 3:00. 120 00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,628 There'll be stuff left. 121 00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:20,136 I'll see you at 3:00... Hold on, I got another call. 122 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,069 - Lf it's Lou, I'm not here. - Hello? 123 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:26,610 Debbie, hi. Well, no, he seems to be fine. 124 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:31,443 Wow. Okay, no, we'll just see you when you get here. Bye-bye. 125 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,051 - Now she has to go to the cemetery. - Great. 126 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:37,656 Hello? Okay, so, Fran, I'll meet you at 4:00. 127 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,849 No, we said 4:00. 128 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,888 - Bye. - Well, now what do we do? 129 00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:47,054 - I just pushed back Fran an hour. - Boy, do I owe you. 130 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,825 Yeah, no kidding. 131 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,867 Should we feed him or something? 132 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:02,548 Probably would help, sure. Let's get him a movie to watch... 133 00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:06,378 ...something besides Aladdin. - Hey, Jed. You want something to eat? 134 00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,383 - Okay. - Okay. What do you want? 135 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,078 Butter. 136 00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:14,625 - Butter and...? - Nothing. 137 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,092 - You just want a big plate of butter? - Yeah. 138 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,356 Does your mom let you eat that at home? 139 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,056 Yeah. 140 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,302 - I don't think so. - She does. 141 00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:25,562 - Does not. - Does too. 142 00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:26,932 - Does not. - Does too. 143 00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:28,266 - Does not. - Honey. 144 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,432 I'll go get you something. 145 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,078 Would you like a John Wayne movie? You like John Wayne? 146 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,407 - No. - This is gonna turn you right around. 147 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,845 This is it. You're going to love it. 148 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,612 John Wayne is exactly like Aladdin. 149 00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:43,550 In fact, they knew each other. 150 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,891 We have no kid food. How can we not have any kid food? 151 00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,825 - Probably because we have no kids. - Someday we're going to. 152 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:55,161 You think we should shop now for then? 153 00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:58,030 - Uncle Paul, can I have some milk? - Sure. 154 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,899 - It's low-fat. - Low-fat. 155 00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:02,063 - Okay. - It's okay. 156 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:05,301 I gotta get up to the roof, and I gotta start setting up. 157 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,639 - Can I have a cheese sandwich? - Sure, help yourself. 158 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:10,441 - Got any mustard? - Yes, absolutely, we got mustard. 159 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:15,076 - Look how we got mustard, here. - And I will set you up right here. 160 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,687 - He's gonna watch the movie. - So? 161 00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,949 - Let him eat on the couch. - He's not eating there. 162 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,786 - We eat on the couch. - Which is why... 163 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,484 ...we never turn that cushion over. 164 00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:25,960 - Isn't that a lot of mustard? - No. 165 00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:27,856 All right. 166 00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,536 I wasn't allowed to run around pell-mell when I was growing up. 167 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,502 - Were you? - No, never ran pell-mell. 168 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,700 We'd run willy-nilly. We'd run helter-skelter. 169 00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:41,244 When company was over, we'd run amok. You know what? 170 00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:45,643 You want to watch the movie, right? Take this, go enjoy it, and sit inside. 171 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:49,251 - Really? - Sure. 172 00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:52,118 - There you go. - Thanks, Uncle Paul. 173 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:55,124 You bet. Nice kid. 174 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:57,854 I can't believe you would just contradict me like that. 175 00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,588 Come on, you can't spill cheese. 176 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,393 No. If you play the good cop, it makes me the bad cop. 177 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,365 - Why don't we both be the good cop? - Because... 178 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,368 ...you wind up with a kid with no discipline. 179 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,201 - Except that's not our kid. - Someday it's gonna be. 180 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,400 Let's just get through today. I gotta go. 181 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,568 - Go. - I really got to. 182 00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,543 Okay. 183 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,881 Alrighty, it's good, huh? 184 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:22,884 - Where are you going? - I gotta go to work. 185 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:26,513 - Can I help? - No, you just watch the movie. 186 00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:29,388 - What are you working on? - My documentary. 187 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,393 - What's a documentary? - What's a documentary? 188 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,896 A documentary is, you know... It's like a movie. 189 00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:36,500 - Like Aladdin? - Yeah. It's exactly like Aladdin. 190 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,296 Can I help? 191 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,597 Honey. 192 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,542 I'm... What is that? 193 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,404 Game Boy. 194 00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,607 Could you put it down for two seconds? 195 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:52,683 - I'm surrounded by ninjas. - Here's the thing, I gotta go to work. 196 00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,313 That's okay. 197 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:57,919 - Could you get that, please? - No. 198 00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:00,251 Thank you very much. 199 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,529 - Hello? - That's handy. 200 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,131 - Uncle Paul? - I'll call them back. 201 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,769 - Made it to level two. - He's working. 202 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:15,134 - He's making his documentary. - I hope that's not Lou. 203 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,468 May I ask who's calling? 204 00:11:17,643 --> 00:11:19,543 It's Lou. 205 00:11:27,119 --> 00:11:29,417 Lou, where are you? 206 00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:32,216 No, we're waiting for you. What do you mean, what? 207 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,256 We're shooting a parade. You don't remember? 208 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,395 - It was his idea. - It was your idea. 209 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,991 Yeah. All right. You want to come down? Okay. Great. 210 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,930 We'll see you here. All right. 211 00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:48,304 - Lou's coming over. - I'm sorry. 212 00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:51,875 Yeah. Well, "sorry" ain't going to help me now. 213 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,941 - I said you can't spill cheese. - You know what? This is your fault. 214 00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:57,275 - I didn't approve the beverage. - Go shoot your film. 215 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,384 - I will take care of him. - You okay with that? 216 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,110 - I'm not okay with that. - All right. 217 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,949 Guys, it happens. 218 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:17,466 All right, I got all my positions on the roof taped off, and if... 219 00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:19,661 Sorry. I was working. You thought I wasn't working. 220 00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:22,137 - I was working the whole time. - Don't kiss me. No! 221 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,333 I was almost on level eight. 222 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,808 Sorry. I didn't know. 223 00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:30,506 Your sister called. Apparently, she has to go to the buffet. 224 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,850 So how long we have him? Through college? 225 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,215 - Here, give me a hand. Okay? - Look how he bends. 226 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:37,855 Be careful. 227 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:40,116 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Ready? 228 00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:42,021 Watch this. 229 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,122 - Well done. - Fast. They don't feel it. 230 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,630 That's the whole thing. Fast. 231 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,831 - Where you going? - To meet Fran. 232 00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:54,336 I thought you were gonna push it... It's 4:00 already? 233 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,067 - Can't you push it back a little longer? - No. 234 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:59,177 - Why not? - We're going to look at socks. 235 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,643 Socks? That's what you've been hawking me about? 236 00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:04,476 - Socks? - It's a one-day sale. 237 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,009 - Who's gonna watch him? - Take a guess. 238 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:09,414 No... I have all this work to do. 239 00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:13,183 Have you ever heard of equal involvement, equal parenting? 240 00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:14,917 - Yes, but... - Well, I made him lunch. 241 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:17,187 - I watched the tape with him. - I read him "Family Circus." 242 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,854 - I cleaned up the milk. - But you left a wet paper towel... 243 00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:23,661 ...which I threw into the garbage. - I'm going to throw out that garbage. 244 00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:25,201 Throw it out. I'm meeting Fran. 245 00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,464 You can't meet Fran. I gotta shoot a parade. 246 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,902 God, this is so typical. 247 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,908 You're going to run off to work while I sit home with the kid. 248 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,808 Tell me how it's typical. This has never happened here, ever. 249 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,246 - Aunt Jamie? - Hey. 250 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:42,285 Now he's got malaria. Look at this. 251 00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:46,053 - Where's my mom? - She's gonna be home later. 252 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,758 Want some more cheese? 253 00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:50,293 She was going to take me trick-or-treating. 254 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,263 Oh, man. 255 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:58,066 You know what? We can... What we'Il... 256 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:00,797 Let's do that. We'll take you trick-or-treating. 257 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,100 - Yes, we will. - Okay, but not long. 258 00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:05,766 - That's okay. - What about my costume? 259 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,810 That's a good one. Costume? 260 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:12,440 - Aunt Jamie is gonna make you one. - No kidding. Really? 261 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,212 - Ready? - I'm ready. 262 00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:28,088 - What do you think? - I think Aunt Jamie did good. 263 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:31,930 - Where's your camel? - Murray. Murray, come here. 264 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,515 Well, we have everything we need. Let's... 265 00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,848 Let's go. What do you say, gang? 266 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,683 I'm not a yay-er. 267 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:58,059 I thought I could yay. At the last minute I couldn't yay. 268 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,688 - Lou! - I got ideas. 269 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,795 Hey, nice touch. People love kids in movies. 270 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,870 Remember The Champ? Does he cry? Do you cry? 271 00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:10,734 - My nephew Jed. - We're taking him trick-or-treating. 272 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,242 Cool. Go ahead. I took care of everything. 273 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,880 - I've been on the roof. - You took care of everything? 274 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:19,415 - What? How? - I moved all the camera positions. 275 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,882 - Honey, let's go. - To where? 276 00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,853 You got a pad and pencil? I'm getting more ideas. 277 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:27,015 - You see what I'm dealing with? - I understand, but you promised him. 278 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,025 - It'll only take 10 minutes. - I don't think I can go. 279 00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,561 - But you promised. - Look, I would love to go... 280 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:35,325 I don't think now is a great time to have this argument. 281 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,163 Okay, but I don't think it would really be a terrible thing... 282 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,396 ...if you could give me a little slack here. 283 00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:44,565 Sweetie, Jed and I were just talking about how it wouldn't kill you dead... 284 00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:46,938 ...to take 10 minutes and come trick-or-treating. 285 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,410 At the same time, it wouldn't murderlize you to... 286 00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:52,448 - Fine. - I will catch up with you, I swear. 287 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:56,384 So, Lou, what's up? 288 00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,955 I might have a date this weekend. 289 00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,189 No, no, no. Not them. 290 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:10,067 - Trick or treat! - I beg your pardon? 291 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,497 Trick or treat? 292 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,832 I'm sorry. Am I supposed to do something? 293 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:19,967 - It's Halloween. - Yes, that American pumpkin holiday. 294 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,942 You're supposed to give him some candy. 295 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:25,208 - Who is that, dear? - It's 11 -D. 296 00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:30,151 - What does she want? - She seems to be begging for food. 297 00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,287 Every year on Halloween the kids go door-to-door... 298 00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:37,520 ...and you give them candy. - Why? 299 00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:39,262 It's a tradition. 300 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:43,959 - Well, I might have some pudding. - That's okay. We'll see you later. 301 00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,763 Come on. 302 00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:50,297 Is the dog all right? 303 00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:59,907 How long do you think trick-or-treating usually lasts? 304 00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,847 You in trouble, huh? 305 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,382 Hey. These things give you energy. 306 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:14,626 We should give some to the crew. Cut down on that overtime. Oh, baby. 307 00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:20,069 - Who gave him sugar? - Not I. 308 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,575 And Schmeling is down. 309 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,540 No, no. It's all right. 310 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,416 Freeze. I'm a cop. Just kidding. 311 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:35,451 You know what? I'm not a cop, but police work fascinates me. 312 00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:39,522 Listen, Lou, I need you to really not be playing with this stuff. 313 00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:42,524 - I'm sorry. - All right. 314 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,585 Hey, Paul? 315 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,464 My fault. 316 00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,037 No, no. We hate them. 317 00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:57,232 Aunt Jamie, do you guys like anybody? 318 00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,207 Of course we do. We love all people. 319 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,138 Ready? 320 00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:05,783 - Trick or treat! - Hey, look at him! 321 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:09,409 - Honey, do you have the certificates? - Here they are. 322 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,154 - What is this? - We're not giving candy this year. 323 00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:17,318 Instead we're making a donation in each child's name... 324 00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:20,590 ...to the Bosnian relief effort. 325 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,562 - Excuse me? - We think it's important... 326 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:25,532 ...that the boy feel good about himself. 327 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,035 You don't have a Snickers? 328 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:34,001 I can't believe no one's ever written a song about candy corn. 329 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:42,652 Maybe you can go home now and try and whack one out. 330 00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:47,122 - You know, I love Halloween. - Why is that? 331 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:51,126 You get to dress up, eat candy, be a kid again, you know? 332 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:54,823 - When are you gonna have kids? - What? What is it with you people? 333 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,194 - Who? - Everybody. 334 00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,928 No matter what you're doing, it's never enough for people. 335 00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:02,073 You're going out with somebody, "When are you two getting married?" 336 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,936 No, no, no. So then you get married. 337 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,633 "When are you two gonna have kids?" 338 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,609 You have kids. "When are your kids gonna get married?" 339 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:11,374 I imagine at the end of my life there will be people around... 340 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:14,075 ...going, "So when are you two gonna die?" 341 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:18,381 After a while, I've had it up to here. It's enough. It's enough. 342 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,320 My fault. 343 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:24,086 Get ready. Here they come. 344 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,730 Hello? Trick or treat? 345 00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:37,273 Come on. Open the door. 346 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:41,039 I can see your eye! 347 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:46,112 What is the matter with you people? What am I supposed to tell my kid? 348 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:49,413 That there's no Halloween? That's just wonderful. 349 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:52,557 Why don't you come out and tell him there's no Santa Claus too? 350 00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:54,788 There's no Santa Claus? 351 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,626 I'm sorry. What? 352 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,832 - Hey, you. - Where is everyone? 353 00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:12,568 I sent them home. I was on my way down to meet you. 354 00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:16,544 Your nephew is so sweet, my uterus hurts. 355 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,513 - Where did he go? - Debbie picked him up. 356 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:22,654 - I didn't even get to say goodbye. - Well, you were working. 357 00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:25,654 So the kid couldn't take 10 minutes to say goodbye? 358 00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:27,724 This was a very important day for us... 359 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,418 ...and you bailed out on me. - I didn't bail out. 360 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,325 You did. What happens when we have a kid... 361 00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:35,261 ...we can't return at 9:00? You going to bail out on me then too? 362 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,556 Why would you think that? 363 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:39,067 You gave me a whole day of why I should think that. 364 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,763 - But I was working. - I'll see you later. 365 00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,202 - Come here. - No. 366 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,943 Can I tell you something? Nobody is good at this the first time. 367 00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:51,412 Most of your screwed-up people would be, like, your older siblings. 368 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,916 We had one adorable kid for half a day, and we barely made it. 369 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,816 How do people do it? 370 00:20:57,456 --> 00:21:01,324 I don't know. My guess would be they're better than us. 371 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,154 - I want us to be good at this. - We will. 372 00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:05,353 - When it counts, we'll be great. - Do you promise? 373 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,862 Yeah. We weren't so good at us right away, either. 374 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:13,503 - That's true. - Finally you straightened out, so... 375 00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:16,197 ...that helped a lot. - Yeah. Yeah. 376 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:19,106 I can't believe I didn't say goodbye to Jed. 377 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,714 - Well, he said to say goodbye to you. - He did? 378 00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:25,816 That's the problem with kids. 379 00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:28,043 You get attached, and then they just leave. 380 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,313 If you said anything wrong, they remember that. 381 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:33,219 That's the part they remember. Like how we talk about our parents. 382 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:37,123 - That will be us in a couple of years. - Oh, my God. You're terrified. 383 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,627 - You bet. Yes. - I am too. 384 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,630 No, but not like me. I mean, the whole concept is like... 385 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,826 It's inconceivable to me, especially the whole childbirth part. 386 00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:47,164 - Forget it. - I'll definitely be there for that. 387 00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:50,308 I know, but, like, schools... You got to find the right schools. 388 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:53,376 - A lot of times they get sick. - Boy, oh, boy. This poor kid. 389 00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:55,706 - Who? - Ours. 390 00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:58,613 You know, and they play with sharp things. 391 00:21:58,784 --> 00:22:01,309 They ask you, "How does this work?" "How does that work?" 392 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:03,784 How do I know how things work? I just... 393 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,310 I won't sleep for a week, but, wow. 394 00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,146 My fault! 32425

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