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1
00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:07,706
All right, come here.
Stand right here.
2
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:10,274
There. Tell me
you don't hear it.
3
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,035
I don't hear it.
4
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:13,736
Wait a second.
5
00:00:13,913 --> 00:00:16,643
Okay, now.
You don't hear that?
6
00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:18,113
I don't hear it.
7
00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:21,651
It's humming.
It's like a high hum.
8
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,429
- You don't find it annoying?
- Yes, I do.
9
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:32,553
I meant the hum.
10
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,461
Why do you let this
stuff bother you?
11
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:36,693
- I don't let it.
- You look for it.
12
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:40,101
I don't look for it. It's like you.
You can't let go of the slanty floor?
13
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,434
- Well, that slants.
- It doesn't slant.
14
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,237
Come on.
Right here, it slants.
15
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:47,039
Every time I'm here,
I'm telling you.
16
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,010
- I don't feel it.
- You don't feel it?
17
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:52,242
You've lived here all these years?
Every time I come in here...
18
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:54,512
Every single time.
It's insane.
19
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:58,680
I'm not even as tall as I am down here
up here. I come, I'm like...
20
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,252
Murray, I never knew
you had a thing for terriers.
21
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,159
I thought you were, like,
a poodle man.
22
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,994
No, no, no,
I'm not judging.
23
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,094
- How is it out?
- It's a little nippy.
24
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,863
Sweater nippy
or jacket nippy?
25
00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:49,341
Cold-as-hell nippy.
26
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:51,909
Ask me again.
I like saying nippy.
27
00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:55,276
- You wanna come with me?
- Where are you going?
28
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,746
Going up to 44th St.
To pick up my mother's watch...
29
00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:00,818
...and then to 1 st Ave. To buy
a new bathmat and some towels.
30
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:05,858
Wow. Okay, first of all,
not only don't I want to go...
31
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:08,220
...but had I gone
and you led me to such places...
32
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:10,362
...I would literally
never forgive you.
33
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:12,497
Wanna at least come
have brunch with me?
34
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:15,793
No. You know what? I'm tired.
I'm just gonna hang out.
35
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:19,494
- All right. See you when I get back.
- Okay. You have fun.
36
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,735
Want to go to Dvorik's
and get some shoes?
37
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,171
- Not so much.
- You need shoes.
38
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,975
- Yeah, but I'm...
- lf I get a bathmat you don't like...
39
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,050
You won't hear a peep
out of me.
40
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,611
Mind turning the music down?
Hal has a me-graine.
41
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:37,949
A what?
42
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:39,949
A me-graine. A headache.
43
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:42,287
You try giving him
some a-spirin?
44
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,600
- I beg your pardon?
- We'll turn it down.
45
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,401
- I hate her.
- It's not even loud.
46
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,128
You won't even have brunch
with me?
47
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,398
I can't. I gotta wait
for the handyman.
48
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:58,510
You're going to spend a Saturday inside
because of some stupid hum?
49
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,475
It was a hum,
now it's a buzz.
50
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,775
If it was a hum, I would have
lived with it, believe me. Go.
51
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:05,918
Fine. Goodbye.
52
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,512
- Should I get light or dark?
- What?
53
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,316
The bathmat.
54
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:12,856
- Light.
- What if we...?
55
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,152
- Dark.
- Don't you think...?
56
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,056
Light.
57
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,822
Dark!
58
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,221
You see what they do, Murray?
59
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:25,133
They try to wear you down.
You must never, ever fall for that.
60
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:31,737
Whereas that, you can't fight.
61
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,073
How long can it take
to buy a bathmat?
62
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,775
I don't really know,
and frankly, I don't wanna find out.
63
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,080
We'll go there first,
and then you can come home.
64
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:45,816
- Never gonna happen, my friend.
- I love that expression.
65
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,126
There you go.
66
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,289
That was tea, but...
67
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:54,330
Right. Okay.
68
00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:00,501
- That is good.
- I ordered mozzarella, not jack.
69
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,231
- You can tell the difference?
- Yeah.
70
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:05,036
- Good for you.
- You don't need that.
71
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,508
You don't need a bathmat
and you're getting one.
72
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,205
We do need a bathmat.
The one we have is torn and faded.
73
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,543
But it does the job.
74
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,744
It gets between the warm foot
and the cold tile every time.
75
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,617
Let's be honest, that's what
we're paying the bathmat to do.
76
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,623
Fine. If you don't want to go,
just say so.
77
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,726
Okay, do you guys have
another credit card?
78
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:28,833
- Sure. What's the matter?
- I had to cut this one up.
79
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,400
You... What do you...?
What?
80
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:34,062
- Yeah.
- Why? Why would you do that?
81
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,969
- They told me to.
- Who?
82
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,007
Right. The voice over the phone.
83
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,309
- Did you pay the Visa bill?
- Of course.
84
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,041
Why would they tell her
to cut it up?
85
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,743
- Must have been a mistake.
- What kind of mistake is that?
86
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,287
- The computer?
- It's not even like they declined it.
87
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,947
They told her to cut it in half?
They said that?
88
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,321
What terrible thing would
it say in the computer?
89
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,963
Won't go with wife
to the bath store?
90
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,656
- That's good. Make a joke.
- It's not a big deal.
91
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,061
- Okay.
- Better?
92
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:05,136
Yeah. This one
was much easier to cut.
93
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:10,301
- Are you kidding?
- Now it's a big deal?
94
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,944
You didn't even bring me
the right cheese.
95
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:14,602
Okay.
96
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:19,347
You know what, honey?
Let's just pay cash. All right?
97
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,282
This is just about there.
All right?
98
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:24,651
Nice big tip for you for ripping up
our cards. Thank you.
99
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,825
I've got like $ 1.04
to my name now.
100
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,587
We can go to the cash machine
on our way to the bath store.
101
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,754
Great... I'm not going
to the bath store.
102
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:41,937
Know why it's taking so long?
103
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,474
It's not a bank,
it's an "ank."
104
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,685
Is this guy entering
his fail-safe code?
105
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,820
I have to get enough
for the bath store.
106
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:58,581
What is it with the bath store?
It's the biggest thing in your life now.
107
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,491
Why don't you just ask the man
to take his pants off?
108
00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,153
All right.
109
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:07,959
Then you can see what is
and what isn't.
110
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,530
I can't believe that waitress
rips my card right in half.
111
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,299
- She did it to mine too.
- I can't believe she ripped yours.
112
00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:17,705
That she would do that to you
is what upset...
113
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,276
English or Spanish?
114
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,912
Why would they give it
in English?
115
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,605
If you speak Spanish,
you can't understand the choice.
116
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,375
It's working out.
117
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:27,848
- Withdraw from...
- Checking.
118
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,510
Checking.
119
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,120
I love that sound.
120
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,885
Right in half. She just
rips it right in half. She cuts...
121
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:38,129
"Cannot complete transaction.
Your card is confiscated."
122
00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:41,755
- Why is this?
- What? They can't do that.
123
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,494
Your friend with the nice ass
took all the money.
124
00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:46,327
Use the phone.
125
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,441
- Why don't we just go in?
- Because the phone is faster.
126
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,910
I'm already on hold.
127
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,205
Oh, God!
I hate Harry Connick.
128
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:57,611
- What? You like Harry Connick.
- It's the new one.
129
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:00,845
Why don't we just go in?
130
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:03,352
Yes. Hello.
Your machine ate our card.
131
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,151
Yes. No.
132
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,522
Fine.
133
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:09,991
Just go in.
134
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,792
Hello. What can I do for you?
135
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,232
Your cash machine
ate my card up.
136
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:22,272
It does that sometimes.
May I have your cash card number?
137
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,966
Sadly, no...
138
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:27,374
...because the cash card number's
on the actual cash card itself...
139
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:31,506
...which, as I mentioned earlier in the
sentence, was eaten by your machine.
140
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,985
Let's solve this together,
shall we? Please, sit down.
141
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:39,181
- Your name?
- Buchman. That's B as in "ank."
142
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:45,592
- Look at all the Buchmans.
- I'm 12th.
143
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,130
- Paul.
- What?
144
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,131
Paul.
145
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:51,793
Look at all the Pauls.
146
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,531
We have 10,000 accounts
in this branch alone.
147
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,766
And two tellers open.
148
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,079
- I think I've found your problem.
- Which is what?
149
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,849
- You're dead.
- Excuse me?
150
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,850
He's dead.
151
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,353
In the sense that what?
152
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:16,825
It says here that you died
two days ago. I'm so sorry.
153
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,731
Well, clearly, I'm not dead.
154
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,530
- See? Look.
- Well...
155
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:28,702
...it says you are.
156
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:32,038
Can you make it say otherwise?
Bring me back to life?
157
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,179
I'm afraid I'm not authorized
to do that.
158
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,611
Probably it's one of your
other Paul Buchmans.
159
00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:39,842
Probably. Do you keep
joint accounts?
160
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,645
As long as you're dead,
she's dead too.
161
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:47,683
- So how do we fix this?
- You just fill out these forms...
162
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:51,023
...and give them to my supervisor,
Mr. Williams.
163
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,689
- I bet he's gone for the weekend.
- Yes, he is.
164
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:59,401
He has a house on Montauk,
and a companion.
165
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,605
- Are they happy?
- Very.
166
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:08,440
- We don't really care.
- Okay.
167
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,639
So, what happens now?
168
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:15,554
I'm afraid you're both dead
until Monday.
169
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,019
That's why I felt so tired.
170
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,688
I can't find this guy's
obituary anywhere.
171
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,733
Found a quarter. Seventeen more
and one of us can go to a movie.
172
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,732
- Meanwhile, where is this guy?
- Do me a favor.
173
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:37,069
Next time you're dead, do it
on Friday, so I can cash a check.
174
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,972
Here it is. Here it is.
Here it is.
175
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:42,706
Buchman.
Buchman, Paul David.
176
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:44,474
"Manhattan.
177
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:47,149
Survived by family,
friends, and dog."
178
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,686
A dog. That's sad.
179
00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:54,459
"Services today,
Everly Chapel, 2:00."
180
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,720
He's a Shriner.
181
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,824
Wonder what they do
with the hat.
182
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:01,330
Maybe they bury him in it.
183
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,593
Just seems like such a waste.
184
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:08,466
- Did you hear something?
- Yeah, like a...
185
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,541
- Yeah.
- Maybe we won something.
186
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,076
We may already be a winner.
187
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:17,579
It's from the landlord.
188
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,047
"Condolences on your loss.
189
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:22,244
Vacating the premises
requires 60 days' notice.
190
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:25,390
Sadly, Mel Wertzel."
191
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,992
Very nice of Mel to think of you
in your time of need.
192
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:32,130
- I'm never giving this place up.
- What do you need this space for?
193
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,789
- I don't know. Everything's here.
- Everything except me.
194
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:38,266
- Because I'd be dead.
- Can we stop this?
195
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:40,337
I wonder how he died.
They don't say.
196
00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:42,098
I was just wondering
the same thing.
197
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:43,468
What are you doing?
198
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,838
You're depressing me.
Come on, let's go out.
199
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:48,480
And do what?
We're dead.
200
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,513
And broke.
We're dead and broke.
201
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,674
We've got to have something.
202
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,613
- Don't we have an emergency 20?
- I spent it.
203
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,312
- On what?
- Fruit.
204
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,453
It was an emergency.
205
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:02,651
When did we have
a fruit emergency?
206
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:06,062
- I didn't want to tell you.
- I'm gonna go check all my pockets.
207
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:09,397
Found another quarter.
208
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,802
I'm so sorry.
209
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,267
What did we do now?
210
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:19,934
I realize that Hal and I haven't been
the best of neighbors at times.
211
00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:22,046
You started a petition.
212
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:28,286
I can't tell you how stunned we were
when we read the obituary this morning.
213
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:29,944
Really?
214
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:32,215
Well, thank you.
215
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:38,262
You know, Paul always wanted
so much for you to like him.
216
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,127
And we tried, but...
217
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,068
Why speak ill?
218
00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:49,472
- You must be devastated.
- Easy come, easy go.
219
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,944
I beg your pardon?
220
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:56,411
You don't know
any single men, do you?
221
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:01,481
- Single men?
- Eats. Fantastic.
222
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,645
I have a date tonight.
223
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,952
Even the Kramdens,
they always had $ 12 they kept in a...
224
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,787
Hi, how are you?
225
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,724
That's just rude.
226
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:16,563
- What the hell was that?
- I was toying with her little British head.
227
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:21,295
- Did you find any money?
- Four dimes and a Necco wafer.
228
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,237
When did you buy
Necco wafers?
229
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,969
1972.
230
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,937
Can't you teach
your sister to knock?
231
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,639
- Leave her alone.
- Just knock.
232
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,340
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.
233
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:35,715
- Well, I'm dead.
- You're dead? I didn't get in until 4.
234
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,951
- What is this from?
- Doorman was holding them for you.
235
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,492
"So long, old sailor."
236
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,128
Probably the wrong
Paul Buchman.
237
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,820
- I'd say so.
- Sure.
238
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:47,431
Do you have any
English muffins?
239
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,626
- Do you have any money?
- You're gonna charge me?
240
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,395
No. We need to borrow
a few dollars.
241
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,131
- What's a few dollars?
- I don't know, 20 or 30 bucks.
242
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:58,071
Really not comfortable with that.
243
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:02,169
- I'm sorry. What?
- It creates bad vibes.
244
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,942
How about the, like,
$600 you owe us?
245
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,607
See?
246
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,879
You have two 10s.
I'm taking one.
247
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:11,147
- Okay, just remember it's a loan.
- Of course.
248
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,723
Why don't we deduct it
from the amount you owe us?
249
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:16,919
- What kind of scam is that?
- We will pay you back.
250
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:21,726
- Soon. Hey, any bacon?
- Go look.
251
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:25,326
"So long, old sailor."
252
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:27,404
That's what it comes
down to, isn't it?
253
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:30,133
- Kind of sad, isn't it?
- Yeah. Well, not necessarily.
254
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:33,210
He was old, and he could sail,
and he had a dog.
255
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:34,812
So that's a full life, huh?
256
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,845
You're really putting
the puzzle together.
257
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,348
Here's what I got.
This guy, he had a boat.
258
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,918
He had a big, mahogany,
50-foot beauty...
259
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,555
...and he would just sail
all over the world...
260
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:47,624
...just him and his dog.
261
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:50,318
And his wife.
You didn't let me finish.
262
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:54,625
And his wife, Ellen.
I've decided Ellen.
263
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,133
And they would sail, the three
of them, and he was a fighter.
264
00:13:58,304 --> 00:13:59,635
He would drink a lot.
265
00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:02,171
He was a drinker and a fighter.
And he would...
266
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:06,038
He knew sea chanteys. That's what
I'm thinking. They would come...
267
00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,305
And he would sing
the chanteys to his wife...
268
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,971
...as he beat the crap
out of others.
269
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,883
That's what he did.
What are you doing?
270
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,717
Calling the florist,
to pick them up.
271
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,689
- They're not going to care.
- Well, we can't keep them.
272
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:25,688
Hey, you know what we should...?
Why don't we bring them over?
273
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,662
- Where?
- To the chapel.
274
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:31,394
I think Paul should know that
he got a lovely arrangement here.
275
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,003
- Come on.
- What?
276
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:37,199
You don't care about this guy's
flowers. You just wanna meet him.
277
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,674
The dead guy?
I wanna meet the dead guy?
278
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:43,372
That's the sickest thing you've...
All right, a little bit. Yeah.
279
00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:45,044
- Forget it.
- Why? Come on.
280
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:48,015
- We can't afford to do anything.
- We're not crashing a funeral.
281
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,814
- It's gonna be fun.
- No.
282
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,389
It's on the way
to the bath store.
283
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,992
- Okay.
- See?
284
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:06,631
Hello!
How are you today?
285
00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:09,205
Why am I asking?
You must be sad.
286
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,637
No.
287
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:16,076
- This is the Buchman funeral?
- Sign the book. I'm right back.
288
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,544
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
289
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:23,085
He said to sign the book,
so I'm just signing...
290
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,122
What should I put?
I shouldn't put Paul Buchman.
291
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,887
They'll think I'm clowning around.
292
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,092
- Pete?
- Fine.
293
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:35,995
Pete. Pete.
I don't look like a Pete.
294
00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:37,999
- Leonard.
- Leonard?
295
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,865
- I look like a Leonard?
- Just sign it.
296
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,734
All right, then.
Who do you want to be?
297
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,603
- Just put Mr. And Mrs.
- I thought you hate that.
298
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:51,114
Last time we were at the Hilton,
you said your identity gets all blurry.
299
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:52,873
Donna.
300
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,714
Donna?
Donna's good. Good.
301
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,550
Leonard and Donna.
302
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:02,589
- That's probably him.
- It better be. Come on.
303
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,991
Just put the flowers down
and let's go.
304
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,868
Look. Look.
His little hat.
305
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:11,730
Honey, let's go.
306
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,896
- You want to look?
- What?
307
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:18,339
- Sometimes, they like to look.
- No, no. Thanks. No.
308
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:21,877
Who can blame you?
Death. What a crazy business.
309
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:26,651
Wait a second.
Is it really okay to look?
310
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,810
That's what he's here for.
311
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:32,790
- What, are you kidding?
- Come on, I'm just curious.
312
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,482
This could be me in there.
313
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,890
Then you, my friend,
you would have to remarry.
314
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:40,429
Beautiful young girl like this
would remarry very fast.
315
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:42,226
Thank you.
316
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,526
Who would you marry?
317
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,330
I don't know.
Want me to be a widow?
318
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,904
No, I wanna know
who the guy is.
319
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:50,371
You're dead.
Why's it your business?
320
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:56,375
- Here. This is for you, for whenever.
- Thank you.
321
00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:58,072
What are you doing?
322
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,115
You don't need this.
My parents have the guy...
323
00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:01,650
- That's right. Come on.
- Jersey.
324
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,015
No, no!
325
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,520
- I'd like to know who you're marrying.
- Don't start.
326
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,660
- Maybe we should look for a triple plot.
- There is no guy.
327
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,795
If I'll be buried next to him,
I'd like to be introduced.
328
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,193
You won't be next to him,
I'll be in the middle.
329
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,266
- You make a joke like...
- It's good to see you.
330
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,001
It's good to see you.
331
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:23,107
You don't recognize me, do you?
332
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,741
I gotta say, you know,
I'm trying, but...
333
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:27,037
Monty.
334
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,576
- Monty.
- Yes, and I am...
335
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:33,047
Gladys' kid, right?
336
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,879
That's exactly...
Yes, of course.
337
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,214
And you must be...
338
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,879
- Donna.
- Donna. Donna.
339
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,626
So how do you like Toronto?
340
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,992
We like it.
You know, it's nippy.
341
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,468
It's nippy, but it's friendly,
so we enjoy it there in Toronto.
342
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,105
Paul said that
he loved your cabin.
343
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,332
He said that?
He was at the cabin?
344
00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,203
Yeah. He used to write
to me a lot.
345
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,210
What was it about him,
do you think, really?
346
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:04,713
He was Paul Buchman,
one of a kind.
347
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,485
- I'd like to get his number.
- We've had enough fun.
348
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,852
Wait. Did you hear what he said?
One of a kind.
349
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,426
Paul Buchman was one of a kind.
Now he's gone.
350
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,428
- But you're not.
- I know, but I could be.
351
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,396
I mean, look, as far as Visa
and everybody else is concerned...
352
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,968
...that's me. I am in there.
353
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,729
You know?
354
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:30,240
Honey, I feel terrible.
355
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:34,311
I haven't told your mother yet,
but I left her a message.
356
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:38,846
Your husband was a
good man. A good man.
357
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:41,315
Bad credit, but...
358
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,850
I'm so sorry.
359
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:48,618
I had the worst weekend.
360
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,423
Did he mention
that $ 10 he owes me?
361
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,088
- Yes, he did.
- Great. Thanks.
362
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,201
Okay.
363
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,014
Man, does that dress look good.
364
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:16,711
- You're here.
- Of course I'm here.
365
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,016
What did you think,
I'd miss this?
366
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:22,183
- Well, then, who's that?
- Who is that?
367
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,423
I guess I'm not so here.
368
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:27,929
I mean, I'm here, but I'm there,
so that's interesting, huh?
369
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:31,803
- You mean you're a ghost?
- That's what I'm thinking...
370
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:34,734
...because this makes absolutely
no sense to be in two places.
371
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,602
That's it. I must be a ghost.
Sure.
372
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,903
How am I gonna live
without you?
373
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:41,011
What are you talking about?
I'm here.
374
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,115
- But you're dead.
- Well, that's the bad news.
375
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:45,272
What's the good news?
376
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:48,613
Good news is, I have
been assigned to haunt you.
377
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:51,415
- How are you gonna haunt me?
- Same as before.
378
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,120
You never haunted me.
379
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,057
You just did annoying things
once in a while.
380
00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,094
- Like what?
- What difference does it make?
381
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,095
- I'd like to know.
- It doesn't matter now.
382
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,791
It's nothing.
I'm saying once every blue moon...
383
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:07,996
- Like this kind of thing.
- Yeah, well, boo.
384
00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:12,569
- God, you look good.
- It's unbelievable.
385
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:15,508
You can eat whatever you want.
Know what I had for breakfast?
386
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,945
Four eggs and a pie.
387
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:20,311
I never shave.
It's unbelievable.
388
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,151
I want to go with you.
389
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:25,290
Well, you can't.
You have things to do.
390
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:28,517
- Like what?
- Don't you have to get a bathmat?
391
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:30,127
That doesn't seem
important now.
392
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:33,423
Jamie. Come on.
We're double-parked.
393
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,426
Hey, hey, hey,
wait a second.
394
00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:38,935
What?
395
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,173
Nothing. Nothing.
396
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:44,104
Go ahead.
397
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:47,703
- Have a good life.
- You too.
398
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,105
- I did.
- Really?
399
00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:52,147
Yeah. Go.
400
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,681
James?
401
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,315
Come here a sec.
402
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:02,654
Just... Maybe it's silly,
but you know what, I was thinking...
403
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,306
Why did you have to do that?
404
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:17,339
- Because I figured.
- Yeah, but play fair.
405
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:19,534
- Go. Enjoy yourself.
- Fat chance now.
406
00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:20,871
I know.
407
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,470
Forget it.
408
00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:32,087
- What?
- Hey, hey.
409
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:39,126
- What was that for?
- Just like this.
410
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,525
- So sad.
- It's sad, the whole thing. It's all sad.
411
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:47,934
It's amazing, he sailed all around
the world and never had a cold.
412
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,366
Then one morning
he steps out of the shower...
413
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,703
...slips, and breaks his neck.
414
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,904
If only he had a bathmat.
415
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,628
There's a slant.
You're right.
416
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,189
Absolutely right. There's
a big slant right there, like a...
417
00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:15,765
Told you.
418
00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:17,731
Sorry I doubted you.
419
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:20,667
- You hear the hum?
- I don't.
420
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,033
You don't hear the hum?
421
00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:24,232
- I felt the slant.
- Honey, I'm really trying.
422
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:26,400
Person gives you a slant,
you give them a hum.
423
00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:28,012
I'm sorry, I don't hear it.
424
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,647
Am I crazy?
There's a hum there.
425
00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:32,045
There's no hum.
426
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,020
There's a big hum.
32724
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