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1
00:00:08,359 --> 00:00:10,554
I need you to go to a meeting for me.
2
00:00:10,756 --> 00:00:11,778
A client meeting?
3
00:00:11,825 --> 00:00:13,026
Kind of. Not really.
4
00:00:13,026 --> 00:00:14,435
I got a DUI last month.
5
00:00:14,436 --> 00:00:17,639
I need you to go to this
Sober Friends meeting
6
00:00:17,661 --> 00:00:19,262
- and pretend to be me.
- [KNOCKING]
7
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,457
Do you mind if I sit in?
8
00:00:20,457 --> 00:00:21,758
Who wants to sponsor Tom?
9
00:00:21,783 --> 00:00:24,095
- Fuck it, I'll do it!
- You sure, Cutter?
10
00:00:24,159 --> 00:00:26,295
You think you're ready,
after what happened to Ollie?
11
00:00:26,295 --> 00:00:27,867
Looking forward to diving in,
12
00:00:27,867 --> 00:00:29,869
- seeing what [SCREAMS HIGH-PITCHED]
- You feel that?
13
00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:31,972
That's the kind of grip
this thing's got on you, man.
14
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:33,034
See you, Tom.
15
00:00:33,081 --> 00:00:35,010
Why'd you take my records
and my record player?
16
00:00:35,082 --> 00:00:36,750
LOUDERMILK: She went into Rhino Vinyl,
17
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,285
and this is what she walked out with.
18
00:00:38,285 --> 00:00:39,954
Uh, so she has shitty taste in music.
19
00:00:39,954 --> 00:00:41,355
So what? It's not her fault.
20
00:00:41,355 --> 00:00:42,516
Most beautiful women do.
21
00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,051
I'm getting a different sponsor.
22
00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:46,461
I do appreciate everything
you've done for me.
23
00:00:49,138 --> 00:00:50,306
[BANGING]
24
00:00:57,104 --> 00:00:59,373
Do you realize, as I'm standing here,
25
00:00:59,373 --> 00:01:02,376
the Earth is spinning on its
axis a thousand miles an hour?
26
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,531
Like, if I was God spinning a basketball,
27
00:01:04,570 --> 00:01:05,798
thousand miles an hour.
28
00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:07,214
And at the same time it's doing that,
29
00:01:07,214 --> 00:01:09,116
the Earth is going in orbit around the sun
30
00:01:09,116 --> 00:01:10,384
at guess what rate of speed.
31
00:01:10,384 --> 00:01:12,253
66,000 miles an hour.
32
00:01:12,253 --> 00:01:14,655
66,000 miles an hour,
thousand miles an hour.
33
00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:17,124
And on top of that, the whole
solar system's going through
34
00:01:17,124 --> 00:01:19,326
the Milky Way galaxy at
guess what rate of speed.
35
00:01:19,326 --> 00:01:21,595
400,000 miles an hour.
36
00:01:21,595 --> 00:01:23,731
400,000 miles an hour,
66,000 miles an hour,
37
00:01:23,731 --> 00:01:25,299
and a thousand miles an hour.
38
00:01:25,299 --> 00:01:27,201
And to top it all off, as that's happening,
39
00:01:27,201 --> 00:01:29,603
the whole Milky Way galaxy is
tearing through the universe
40
00:01:29,603 --> 00:01:31,071
at guess what rate of speed.
41
00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:33,874
2.2 million miles an hour.
42
00:01:33,874 --> 00:01:37,011
And that, officer, is why I
failed to walk a straight line
43
00:01:37,011 --> 00:01:39,155
as you requested a few moments ago.
44
00:01:40,481 --> 00:01:41,801
Hey, what? Oh.
45
00:01:41,826 --> 00:01:46,441
♪
46
00:01:46,466 --> 00:01:48,911
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:49,811 --> 00:01:51,479
What the hell are you doing?!
48
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,148
I'm asking myself the same thing.
49
00:01:53,388 --> 00:01:55,089
I don't know what's more disturbing,
50
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:56,616
the fact that you got a beer in your hand
51
00:01:56,641 --> 00:01:58,076
or you're stroking your cucumber
52
00:01:58,101 --> 00:01:59,647
to some soft-core make-out porn.
53
00:01:59,647 --> 00:02:01,115
And not even having a hard-on!
54
00:02:01,563 --> 00:02:03,117
I had a hard-on.
55
00:02:03,117 --> 00:02:05,335
Well, what happened to
good old "gold chip" Donny?
56
00:02:05,614 --> 00:02:07,561
Looks like he's doing a top-notch job.
57
00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:08,981
Come on.
58
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:11,325
Let's get him on the blower
ASAP, tell him you had a slip.
59
00:02:11,414 --> 00:02:13,082
No, I-it's late. I-I'll call him tomorrow.
60
00:02:13,198 --> 00:02:14,707
We might not have a tomorrow
61
00:02:14,732 --> 00:02:16,153
if we don't get this under control now!
62
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,093
[SIGHS]
63
00:02:19,642 --> 00:02:23,246
[DIALING, RINGING]
64
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,496
Oh, darn. He's not picking up.
65
00:02:29,118 --> 00:02:31,038
Yeah, well, that's top-notch sponsoring.
66
00:02:31,588 --> 00:02:33,790
If I ever meet this Donny
guy, I'm gonna choke him out.
67
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:35,391
- [BEEP]
- Hi. You've reached Donny.
68
00:02:35,391 --> 00:02:37,260
I got his voicemail. So
you know what? I'm gonna...
69
00:02:37,260 --> 00:02:38,995
- Hey, shithead!
- Do...
70
00:02:38,995 --> 00:02:40,596
While you're out doing God knows what,
71
00:02:40,596 --> 00:02:42,398
your sponsee's sucking back beers
72
00:02:42,398 --> 00:02:44,734
like Bukowski at the
Golden Goose happy hour!
73
00:02:44,734 --> 00:02:47,301
- I had one beer.
- You're a Goddamn gold chip!
74
00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,672
Get on the ball, man.
You know how this goes.
75
00:02:49,697 --> 00:02:50,958
You're better than this.
76
00:02:51,207 --> 00:02:52,151
[BEEP]
77
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:57,684
What are you doing?
78
00:02:58,854 --> 00:03:00,342
I'm waiting for him to call back.
79
00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:01,740
I'm giving him 10 minutes.
80
00:03:01,786 --> 00:03:02,987
After that, he's officially fired,
81
00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:04,390
and I'm back on the clock.
82
00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:05,548
Ticktock.
83
00:03:05,923 --> 00:03:07,522
I can't live like this! [CHUCKLES]
84
00:03:07,714 --> 00:03:09,186
I gotta lay the truth out.
85
00:03:09,709 --> 00:03:11,275
They say it'll set you free.
86
00:03:11,445 --> 00:03:12,477
I hope so.
87
00:03:12,847 --> 00:03:15,393
Cutter, I'm not an alcoholic.
88
00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:17,261
God!
89
00:03:18,119 --> 00:03:19,615
- That's funny.
- Hmm!
90
00:03:20,121 --> 00:03:23,324
You know how those homosexuals
have a thing they call gaydar?
91
00:03:23,324 --> 00:03:24,859
Well, us drunks have something, too.
92
00:03:24,906 --> 00:03:26,148
We call it drunkdar.
93
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,856
It's not as clever as gaydar, but it works.
94
00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:33,273
[IMITATES SCANNER]
95
00:03:33,348 --> 00:03:36,816
- Oh, hee... boop, boop, boop, boop, boop!
- Stop scanning me!
96
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,510
See, I know an alky when I see one.
97
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:39,545
I can sense it.
98
00:03:40,194 --> 00:03:42,160
It's like those elephants
who took the higher ground
99
00:03:42,185 --> 00:03:43,853
- before the tsunami.
- No, no.
100
00:03:43,853 --> 00:03:45,789
I went to that meeting for my boss.
101
00:03:45,789 --> 00:03:47,657
Well, if your boss
thinks you have a problem,
102
00:03:47,657 --> 00:03:48,759
he's probably right.
103
00:03:48,787 --> 00:03:50,155
No, no, you don't understand.
104
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,836
- My boss got the DUI, and...
- Save it!
105
00:03:53,365 --> 00:03:54,966
I've been in this business
long enough to know
106
00:03:54,966 --> 00:03:56,301
that the next word that
comes out of your mouth
107
00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:57,996
- is gonna be a lie.
- [SCOFFS]
108
00:03:58,703 --> 00:04:01,840
- Fine. Okay.
- You calling dependable Donny again?
109
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,323
No, no, I'm calling the police.
110
00:04:03,642 --> 00:04:05,708
I tried to explain it to you,
but you won't listen to me.
111
00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:09,190
I tried to ask you to leave
nicely, and you refused.
112
00:04:09,448 --> 00:04:11,450
So... [RINGING]
113
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:13,153
- DISPATCHER: Emergency.
- Hi, there.
114
00:04:13,382 --> 00:04:14,934
- Is there a problem?
- Yes. I need your help.
115
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:18,141
A man climbed onto my balcony,
he entered my apartment!
116
00:04:18,142 --> 00:04:19,847
There's no need to send anyone.
117
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,300
It's my ex-sponsee, and
that's his disease talking.
118
00:04:25,343 --> 00:04:27,685
You think that's gonna keep
them from sending someone?
119
00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,687
[SCOFFS] Let 'em come. What do I care?
120
00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,622
- Just...
- If it takes me getting arrested
121
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:33,779
to prove myself to you, so be it.
122
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,228
Let me know when they get here.
123
00:04:37,228 --> 00:04:38,957
Oh. I will.
124
00:04:41,032 --> 00:04:42,276
Hey, you journal, too?
125
00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:45,394
It's a great way of
freeing negative emotions.
126
00:04:45,746 --> 00:04:47,738
It's not a journal. It's for work.
127
00:04:48,594 --> 00:04:50,407
I didn't know you were in advertising.
128
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,484
Yep.
129
00:04:56,573 --> 00:04:58,415
Jumping Jack Crash!
130
00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:00,050
[LAUGHS]
131
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,269
You worked on this?
132
00:05:01,685 --> 00:05:02,713
Yes.
133
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:06,182
Actually, I created the entire campaign.
134
00:05:07,753 --> 00:05:10,283
You came up with Jumping Jack Crash?!
135
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,413
God damn! I fuckin'
love that little rabbit!
136
00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:15,760
Zzit! With that little
lightning bolt on his head!
137
00:05:15,822 --> 00:05:17,791
[LAUGHS]
138
00:05:18,858 --> 00:05:20,617
That cracks me up every time!
139
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,252
Zzit! Man, I'm impressed.
140
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,734
Who knew you were funny?
You don't seem funny to me.
141
00:05:28,234 --> 00:05:29,403
Thanks.
142
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:32,919
[LAUGHS]
143
00:05:32,919 --> 00:05:35,188
You should probably go.
Police are on their way.
144
00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:38,920
Man, that's good shit.
145
00:05:41,594 --> 00:05:44,702
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
146
00:05:45,317 --> 00:05:46,367
Whoo.
147
00:05:46,532 --> 00:05:50,250
[SIREN WAILING]
148
00:05:53,406 --> 00:05:55,074
Pigs are here, Tommy!
149
00:05:55,074 --> 00:05:57,143
I'll handle it. Don't worry.
150
00:05:57,143 --> 00:05:58,174
Sir?
151
00:05:58,678 --> 00:06:00,507
We got a call about an intruder.
152
00:06:00,979 --> 00:06:02,547
Put your hands where we can see 'em.
153
00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:09,850
One move, and I'll snap his neck.
154
00:06:10,242 --> 00:06:12,280
TENNELY: On the ground,
sir! Don't make me tase you!
155
00:06:12,319 --> 00:06:14,788
You couldn't tase your own dick, Diaz!
156
00:06:15,148 --> 00:06:16,323
Stand down, Tennely!
157
00:06:16,825 --> 00:06:18,954
[LAUGHTER]
158
00:06:20,571 --> 00:06:22,240
- How y'all doing?
- Good, man.
159
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,442
- Long time, Cutter.
- Good to see you, man.
160
00:06:24,442 --> 00:06:26,009
You know the story about this guy.
161
00:06:26,009 --> 00:06:27,344
He's just a little bit... Just
helping out, man. All right.
162
00:06:27,369 --> 00:06:28,680
- Okay?
- Everything is good?
163
00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:30,395
- Everything's good.
- All right.
164
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:34,790
Wait! Where are you going?!
165
00:06:34,815 --> 00:06:36,483
Sorry you had to come out here for nothing.
166
00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:39,083
Nothing? No, no, no!
167
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,648
No, no! This is not for nothing!
168
00:06:40,913 --> 00:06:42,322
This is for something!
169
00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:48,466
- Be safe!
- Hey, hey, hey!
170
00:06:48,506 --> 00:06:50,241
Wait, I want to file a complaint!
171
00:06:50,241 --> 00:06:53,044
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
172
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,089
That was Diaz and Tennely.
173
00:06:55,838 --> 00:06:57,838
We go way back. Good guys.
174
00:06:58,406 --> 00:06:59,837
You... You know them?
175
00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:02,585
Know 'em? I trained those two dipshits.
176
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,941
I used to be a cop. Didn't I tell you?
177
00:07:06,315 --> 00:07:07,402
No.
178
00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:10,195
[BEEPING]
179
00:07:10,525 --> 00:07:12,091
Yep. 10 minutes.
180
00:07:12,661 --> 00:07:13,912
That makes it official.
181
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,293
Donny's done.
182
00:07:15,717 --> 00:07:16,873
You're mine again.
183
00:07:18,659 --> 00:07:19,994
We gotta start working them steps.
184
00:07:20,268 --> 00:07:22,374
- Come on.
- No!
185
00:07:22,604 --> 00:07:24,406
[ANDY SHAUF'S "THE MAN ON STAGE" PLAYS]
186
00:07:24,406 --> 00:07:26,430
BARISTA: Got a latte for Jim over here.
187
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:31,697
You want me to talk to him for ya?
188
00:07:32,426 --> 00:07:33,327
Hmm?
189
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:35,505
Tell him to untuck his shirt,
190
00:07:35,505 --> 00:07:37,039
'cause he looks like a fucking idiot?
191
00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:38,946
No!
192
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,425
- ♪ Taking the edge off of me ♪
- All right.
193
00:07:41,839 --> 00:07:45,510
♪ Is a necessity when
I'm singing these words ♪
194
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:49,514
♪ That I no longer mean ♪
195
00:07:51,048 --> 00:07:53,837
- Yeah, okay.
- Excuse me. Sir?
196
00:07:54,118 --> 00:07:57,255
- ♪ I am not a poet, I'm a broken heart ♪
- [CELLPHONE RINGING]
197
00:07:57,255 --> 00:07:58,424
Don't go anywhere.
198
00:07:59,422 --> 00:08:00,366
Yeah.
199
00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:01,503
It's Tony.
200
00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:02,796
LOUDERMILK: Hey, Tony.
201
00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:04,816
I got a DUI last night.
202
00:08:05,007 --> 00:08:07,679
- What are you calling me for?
- 'Cause I'm in county lockup.
203
00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:10,203
- Why didn't you call your sponsor?
- 'Cause they took my cellphone,
204
00:08:10,204 --> 00:08:12,173
and I couldn't remember anybody's numbers.
205
00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,275
- You remember mine?
- Yeah.
206
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,943
Your numbers spell out "shitbag."
207
00:08:15,943 --> 00:08:18,546
- [SCOFFS] Really?
- No, I just know your number.
208
00:08:18,546 --> 00:08:20,281
Now, please, will you
come down here and get me?
209
00:08:20,281 --> 00:08:21,616
All right. Where am I going?
210
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:22,908
I told you... county.
211
00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:24,819
Fine. See ya there.
212
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,081
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
213
00:08:30,425 --> 00:08:32,960
[MOUTHS WORDS]
214
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,224
Ah, shit.
215
00:08:36,097 --> 00:08:37,986
No! I told you to wait!
216
00:08:39,473 --> 00:08:41,425
Dodged a bullet, mom-jeans.
217
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,178
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
218
00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:46,508
So, Tony, what'd you learn from your DUI?
219
00:08:50,966 --> 00:08:52,752
Did you at least get some understanding
220
00:08:52,752 --> 00:08:54,954
- of why you drank last night?
- I know exactly why.
221
00:08:54,954 --> 00:08:56,889
My wife opened up my bottle
of Giuseppi Quintarelli
222
00:08:56,889 --> 00:08:58,425
"Alzero" Cabernet Veneto.
223
00:08:58,495 --> 00:09:00,324
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why do
you have a bottle of wine?
224
00:09:00,542 --> 00:09:01,877
'Cause I bought it for an investment.
225
00:09:01,877 --> 00:09:02,989
It's... It's like art.
226
00:09:02,989 --> 00:09:04,023
And all of a sudden, Karen decides
227
00:09:04,023 --> 00:09:05,282
to open it up to cook with it.
228
00:09:05,621 --> 00:09:07,489
I'm telling you, I was
upstairs, and I could smell
229
00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:09,625
the hint of vanilla mixed
with the... the clove.
230
00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:12,094
Mmm. A little bit of
cherry in there as well.
231
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:14,430
[SIGHS] That sounds amazing.
232
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,731
You bet your ass it's amazing.
233
00:09:15,731 --> 00:09:18,535
They age it in Slovakian
oak barrels, for fuck's sake.
234
00:09:18,746 --> 00:09:20,683
Anyone ever see that film "Sideways"?
235
00:09:20,941 --> 00:09:23,042
What a fucking great film that is.
236
00:09:23,144 --> 00:09:25,378
It was like you're actually
drinking it yourself.
237
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:28,370
Ah, man. I-I felt that way when Chevy Chase
238
00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:31,306
drank the egg nog in "Christmas Vacation."
239
00:09:31,306 --> 00:09:34,122
Oh, the one that got
me was, uh, "United 93."
240
00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:37,246
Couldn't take my eyes off those
little green Jameson bottles.
241
00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:38,708
I had to walk out of the theater.
242
00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,435
Okay, that's enough
romanticizing, all right?
243
00:09:40,435 --> 00:09:42,370
It's just fucking booze!
244
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,374
That's the thing that brought us all here.
245
00:09:45,587 --> 00:09:47,388
So your wife opens up the bottle.
246
00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:48,430
Why you gotta drink it?
247
00:09:48,431 --> 00:09:50,399
'Cause she poured half a
cup into her spaghetti sauce
248
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,277
and then stuffed the cork back in.
249
00:09:52,332 --> 00:09:53,500
What the fuck was I suppose to do?
250
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,135
That's a $400 bottle of wine.
251
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:57,735
Yeah, don't put this
on your wife, all right?
252
00:09:57,821 --> 00:10:00,493
You're responsible for keeping
your side of the street clean.
253
00:10:00,518 --> 00:10:01,940
But she comes on my side of the street.
254
00:10:02,008 --> 00:10:04,280
- And she's messing it up.
- No, cut the shit.
255
00:10:04,305 --> 00:10:06,467
You're in charge of you, not her.
256
00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:08,989
That still doesn't explain
why you got into your car.
257
00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:12,660
I was heading downtown to my wine locker
258
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:14,357
to grab a bottle of Screaming Eagle.
259
00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:15,648
Why?
260
00:10:15,673 --> 00:10:16,880
Because it's the only
wine that can follow up
261
00:10:16,946 --> 00:10:18,547
a Giuseppi Veneto.
262
00:10:19,293 --> 00:10:20,786
Okay, you [SIGHS]
263
00:10:21,686 --> 00:10:23,255
You gotta get rid of that locker.
264
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,256
Right, you gotta sell it
all, every single bottle.
265
00:10:26,281 --> 00:10:28,522
- You want me to liquidate my assets?
- Yeah, correct.
266
00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,178
I want you to liquidate the liquids.
267
00:10:30,532 --> 00:10:32,561
Invest in yourself, you dumb fuck!
268
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,185
Or Alcoa. Or mutual funds.
269
00:10:45,694 --> 00:10:47,162
Hey, what are you doing?
270
00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:49,366
It's not 1975. You can't smoke in here.
271
00:10:49,576 --> 00:10:51,573
[CHUCKLES] My bad.
272
00:10:52,522 --> 00:10:53,833
I've been meaning to ask you
273
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:55,281
how things were going with your sponsee.
274
00:10:56,277 --> 00:10:58,037
Hey, he's had a couple missteps.
275
00:10:58,329 --> 00:11:00,233
- Oh, yeah?
- But I've been right there to catch him.
276
00:11:00,908 --> 00:11:01,931
Good.
277
00:11:02,752 --> 00:11:04,305
Feels good to be of service.
278
00:11:04,578 --> 00:11:05,497
Yeah.
279
00:11:06,239 --> 00:11:08,294
You know, I was this
close to picking up again
280
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:09,558
before Tom showed up.
281
00:11:10,368 --> 00:11:11,470
Shit, really?
282
00:11:12,974 --> 00:11:15,274
Yeah, Tom's cry for help
really struck a chord in me.
283
00:11:15,649 --> 00:11:18,015
I'm not talking no pussy minor chord.
284
00:11:18,585 --> 00:11:19,900
I'm talking E major.
285
00:11:21,054 --> 00:11:22,706
Wah!
286
00:11:22,786 --> 00:11:24,324
Wah, wah!
287
00:11:24,324 --> 00:11:25,658
[LAUGHS]
288
00:11:25,658 --> 00:11:27,127
Like that one that Pete Townshend hits
289
00:11:27,127 --> 00:11:28,642
at the beginning of "Teenage Wasteland."
290
00:11:28,701 --> 00:11:30,703
"Baba O'Riley." That's an F-major chord.
291
00:11:30,797 --> 00:11:32,780
Who gives a fuck what chord it is?!
292
00:11:32,932 --> 00:11:34,713
Right. Yeah, sorry.
293
00:11:34,779 --> 00:11:36,347
Fucker, I'm pouring my guts out here.
294
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,149
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
295
00:11:40,418 --> 00:11:41,559
It's a great chord.
296
00:11:50,765 --> 00:11:52,719
You know, when Ollie finally went south...
297
00:11:56,835 --> 00:11:58,449
...it was a rough road, man.
298
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,878
I remember.
299
00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:04,458
But working with that newbie...
300
00:12:05,769 --> 00:12:07,951
it's finally taking me
out of that dark place.
301
00:12:08,691 --> 00:12:09,637
Yeah.
302
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,345
It's kind of like my...
303
00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:14,507
my pineal gland is decalcified, you know.
304
00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:16,233
Sure.
305
00:12:16,552 --> 00:12:17,630
Thank you.
306
00:12:18,006 --> 00:12:19,443
- Thank you for that, man.
- Sure.
307
00:12:19,544 --> 00:12:20,831
You got it. Any time.
308
00:12:21,051 --> 00:12:23,540
Man, you hard on us, Loudermilk.
309
00:12:23,654 --> 00:12:25,522
Some of you need it. [CHUCKLES]
310
00:12:25,522 --> 00:12:27,700
But you're doing good. You're on fire, man.
311
00:12:28,279 --> 00:12:30,881
That's okay, man, but...
as hard as you are on us,
312
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:32,750
you're always harder on yourself. Uh...
313
00:12:33,157 --> 00:12:34,814
y-you're actually on fire. Uh...
314
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,395
- You need me for anything else?
- No, no, no.
315
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:38,346
Go, go, go. You're on fire. Go.
316
00:12:38,462 --> 00:12:39,598
- Okay.
- Go, go, go.
317
00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:40,891
Yeah, this ciggy is
burning a hole in my pocket.
318
00:12:40,891 --> 00:12:42,360
- Yeah, okay.
- All right.
319
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,894
All right, good stuff, Cutter.
320
00:12:43,894 --> 00:12:45,696
♪
321
00:12:46,489 --> 00:12:47,609
You home?
322
00:12:48,099 --> 00:12:51,947
♪
323
00:12:51,947 --> 00:12:53,044
Hey.
324
00:12:53,562 --> 00:12:54,650
Yes?
325
00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:56,634
Uh, I just wanted to make sure
326
00:12:56,634 --> 00:12:58,589
that Ben got you your records back.
327
00:12:59,537 --> 00:13:00,938
They're all accounted for.
328
00:13:01,274 --> 00:13:02,677
Good, good, good, good.
329
00:13:03,146 --> 00:13:06,343
Um, are you gonna be listening
to shitty music tonight,
330
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,812
because I was just hoping
to get to bed early.
331
00:13:09,144 --> 00:13:11,532
I'm kidding! I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
332
00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:13,136
[SIGHS]
333
00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:16,220
You know, your musical taste
isn't so impeccable, either.
334
00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:17,913
Well, I never said it was impeccable.
335
00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:20,125
Spin Doctors, "Pocket Full of Kryptonite,"
336
00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:21,723
- five stars?
- All right,
337
00:13:21,748 --> 00:13:23,116
you gotta remember that
when I wrote that review,
338
00:13:23,116 --> 00:13:24,984
the videos had not come out yet.
339
00:13:24,984 --> 00:13:26,586
You said they were gonna
be the next Grateful Dead.
340
00:13:26,586 --> 00:13:29,255
Well, it's a rock-solid album,
and I stand by the review.
341
00:13:29,255 --> 00:13:31,457
I didn't tell the guy
to wear the freaking hat.
342
00:13:31,786 --> 00:13:34,028
He looked like a Peruvian sheep herder.
343
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,350
"Odelay" by Beck, one-and-a-half stars.
344
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,352
- Really?
- That was personal.
345
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:42,088
- And yet you gushed over Limp Bizkit.
- All right, listen,
346
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,157
I-I was drinking and
drugging pretty heavy when
347
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,626
"Chocolate Starfish and the Hot
Dog Flavored Water" came out,
348
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,568
and I... I gotta admit...
349
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,497
that shit sounds pretty good on blow
350
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,499
mixed with tequila and wine
351
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,832
on an empty stomach.
352
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,592
Okay, fine, you got me. You got me.
353
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:01,536
I just... I didn't come
here to argue music with you.
354
00:14:01,615 --> 00:14:02,716
I just...
355
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,523
You know, I just wanted
to make things, uh...
356
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,226
You mean, like, apologize?
357
00:14:10,356 --> 00:14:11,669
Whatever you want to call it.
358
00:14:11,931 --> 00:14:14,734
Um, I didn't mean to go
off on you the other day.
359
00:14:14,945 --> 00:14:16,012
That's... That's all.
360
00:14:17,478 --> 00:14:18,467
Okay.
361
00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:20,260
I will accept your apology,
362
00:14:20,299 --> 00:14:22,301
but you need to learn
not to get so worked up
363
00:14:22,301 --> 00:14:24,405
over something as trivial as music.
364
00:14:26,305 --> 00:14:28,631
Okay, fuck it. [SIGHS]
365
00:14:28,804 --> 00:14:29,850
Hey!
366
00:14:30,444 --> 00:14:31,850
Now I was kidding.
367
00:14:32,312 --> 00:14:33,355
Oh.
368
00:14:33,447 --> 00:14:34,860
Oh, okay.
369
00:14:35,582 --> 00:14:37,185
Well, uh...
370
00:14:37,993 --> 00:14:39,263
so you and I are good?
371
00:14:40,539 --> 00:14:41,674
Yeah.
372
00:14:44,255 --> 00:14:47,725
[BILLY CHANGER'S "SWEET TIME" PLAYS]
373
00:14:47,725 --> 00:14:55,725
♪
374
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,416
[BANGING]
375
00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:00,886
♪ Saying I take your private space ♪
376
00:15:00,886 --> 00:15:02,389
♪ But I want none ♪
377
00:15:02,414 --> 00:15:03,916
- Hey, hey!
- Closed!
378
00:15:03,955 --> 00:15:06,024
No, no, it's me! It's me... Tom!
379
00:15:06,024 --> 00:15:08,453
- ♪ Saying that I take all your time ♪
- Tom! Tom from group!
380
00:15:09,427 --> 00:15:11,117
- ♪ But I haven't... ♪
- [MUSIC STOPS]
381
00:15:14,365 --> 00:15:16,245
- What are you doing here?
- I need to talk to you.
382
00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:17,557
Well, that's what group's for.
383
00:15:17,589 --> 00:15:19,291
No, I need to talk to
you without Cutter around.
384
00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:20,865
Look, you can't just show up at...
385
00:15:20,865 --> 00:15:22,400
At somebody's workplace.
386
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,992
Yeah, tell that to Cutter. Please!
387
00:15:27,976 --> 00:15:29,297
- All right.
- Thank you.
388
00:15:29,894 --> 00:15:31,917
Okay, be honest with me.
389
00:15:31,942 --> 00:15:33,611
Am I... Am I in danger?
390
00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:35,431
What are you talking about?
391
00:15:36,106 --> 00:15:37,924
Just level with me. Is Cutter insane?
392
00:15:37,949 --> 00:15:40,151
Is he... Is he bipolar? Does he have PTSD?
393
00:15:40,151 --> 00:15:41,725
What happened to Ollie?
394
00:15:41,844 --> 00:15:42,929
Okay, all right, calm down.
395
00:15:42,954 --> 00:15:44,088
Are you high?
396
00:15:44,605 --> 00:15:45,708
- No!
- Okay.
397
00:15:45,756 --> 00:15:47,209
- I'm... I'm not high.
- All right, go sit down.
398
00:15:47,996 --> 00:15:49,103
Okay, um...
399
00:15:50,186 --> 00:15:51,975
Are you 100% sure Cutter
400
00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:54,031
did not kill Ollie?
401
00:15:54,559 --> 00:15:57,501
Yes, I am. Cutter did not kill Ollie.
402
00:15:57,601 --> 00:15:59,003
Okay, because he's weird.
403
00:15:59,003 --> 00:16:00,337
You should see him when he sleeps.
404
00:16:00,337 --> 00:16:01,872
He stabs at the air,
405
00:16:01,926 --> 00:16:03,621
and he shrieks like a fisher-cat.
406
00:16:03,674 --> 00:16:05,362
When did you see Cutter asleep?
407
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:08,017
He sleeps on the floor next to my bed.
408
00:16:08,297 --> 00:16:09,363
Why?
409
00:16:09,532 --> 00:16:11,243
I don't know why!
410
00:16:11,821 --> 00:16:12,950
All right, look...
411
00:16:13,952 --> 00:16:17,469
I-I can tell you that
Cutter is 99% harmless, okay?
412
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:19,434
But the thing is, is
that he does give a shit.
413
00:16:19,434 --> 00:16:22,303
He really, really, really,
really wants you to be sober.
414
00:16:22,358 --> 00:16:24,326
Okay, but I didn't sign up for this.
415
00:16:24,412 --> 00:16:26,366
- [CHUCKLES]
- No, you were court-ordered.
416
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:28,625
Why can't you be my sponsor?
417
00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:30,180
No, you already got a sponsor.
418
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,335
I think this is good for Cutter.
419
00:16:31,335 --> 00:16:32,539
Good for Cutter?!
420
00:16:33,204 --> 00:16:34,806
I thought this was supposed to be about me.
421
00:16:34,806 --> 00:16:37,075
See, that's your problem, Tom, right there.
422
00:16:37,075 --> 00:16:39,077
It's not all about you. Okay?
423
00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:40,611
As soon as you get your head around that,
424
00:16:40,611 --> 00:16:42,214
you're gonna start to get
a handle on your disease.
425
00:16:42,284 --> 00:16:44,349
- I... Listen, I-I get what you're say...
- [BANGING]
426
00:16:44,596 --> 00:16:46,507
- [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]
- Oh.
427
00:16:46,684 --> 00:16:48,419
- Come on, we gotta go.
- How did he know you're here?
428
00:16:48,419 --> 00:16:50,354
- He d-drove me here.
- Loudermilk's busy.
429
00:16:50,354 --> 00:16:51,890
- What?
- It's time up, okay?
430
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:54,159
I-I told him I had to give
you my cousin's band's CD,
431
00:16:54,159 --> 00:16:56,161
that they actually do
want you to listen to it.
432
00:16:56,161 --> 00:16:57,309
It... It's...
433
00:16:58,245 --> 00:16:59,431
Is everything all right?
434
00:16:59,431 --> 00:17:00,499
- Everything's cool.
- Okay, let's go.
435
00:17:00,499 --> 00:17:02,083
Everything's so copacetic.
436
00:17:03,074 --> 00:17:04,841
Motherfucker!
437
00:17:05,303 --> 00:17:06,705
He's a fucking cop?
438
00:17:06,705 --> 00:17:09,307
- Jesus Christ, man!
- He used to be.
439
00:17:09,307 --> 00:17:11,510
He probably failed his psych evaluation.
440
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:13,779
We need to make sure he
doesn't find out about us,
441
00:17:13,779 --> 00:17:16,581
or we could be big-time screwed, okay?
442
00:17:16,581 --> 00:17:18,316
We could get jail time for this.
443
00:17:18,316 --> 00:17:20,287
How am I gonna get you promoted from jail?
444
00:17:20,349 --> 00:17:22,235
No, jail? W-What do you mean, jail?
445
00:17:22,787 --> 00:17:25,268
Duh! It's a felony!
446
00:17:25,323 --> 00:17:27,859
- You filling in for my third DUI.
- Third DUI?!
447
00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:29,795
You didn't tell me it was your third!
448
00:17:29,795 --> 00:17:30,862
Come on, you think they're gonna send me
449
00:17:30,862 --> 00:17:32,597
to 30 meetings for one DUI?
450
00:17:32,597 --> 00:17:33,980
Get your head on straight.
451
00:17:34,566 --> 00:17:36,334
I can't believe how much
you fucked this thing up.
452
00:17:36,334 --> 00:17:38,003
You know, you need
453
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:39,271
to start taking some responsibility
454
00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:40,806
for your actions, Kevin.
455
00:17:40,806 --> 00:17:42,808
Maybe you shouldn't get all these DUls.
456
00:17:42,808 --> 00:17:44,576
Enough with the mumbo-jumbo, okay?
457
00:17:44,576 --> 00:17:45,728
You've been to too many of these meetings.
458
00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:47,879
- Yeah, no shit!
- Calm down!
459
00:17:47,879 --> 00:17:49,648
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
460
00:17:49,648 --> 00:17:52,538
Okay, the good news is
look what came in today.
461
00:17:54,915 --> 00:17:57,344
This is your new client.
462
00:18:01,134 --> 00:18:02,545
Voluptuous.
463
00:18:02,886 --> 00:18:03,931
Okay.
464
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:07,919
You want to get to know her.
465
00:18:08,085 --> 00:18:09,620
You want to get to love her,
466
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:10,985
because you, baby,
467
00:18:11,088 --> 00:18:12,756
are taking the reins on this one.
468
00:18:13,237 --> 00:18:15,410
Wait, really? I-I have the reins?
469
00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:17,161
That's right. It's all you.
470
00:18:17,161 --> 00:18:19,429
This is your Jumping Jack Crash.
471
00:18:20,295 --> 00:18:23,675
Jumping Jack Crash is
my Jumping Jack Crash.
472
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,636
Yeah, well, right, yeah. But now this time,
473
00:18:25,636 --> 00:18:27,237
they won't fuck you out of the recognition.
474
00:18:27,299 --> 00:18:28,834
They? That was you.
475
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:31,275
Okay, now you're just splitting hairs.
476
00:18:35,779 --> 00:18:37,347
[LIQUID POURING]
477
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:38,590
Ooh.
478
00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:40,197
[SNIFFS]
479
00:18:43,008 --> 00:18:44,310
Oh, that's not bad.
480
00:18:44,388 --> 00:18:46,067
That is not bad. Here.
481
00:18:47,783 --> 00:18:48,959
- Take a sip.
- Oh!
482
00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:50,861
[CHUCKLES] No, it's a
little early for vodka.
483
00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:52,473
Jesus, just take a sip.
484
00:18:52,473 --> 00:18:54,533
It is your job to know what we're selling.
485
00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:56,369
Okay.
486
00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:02,250
Uh, the peach is nice.
487
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:03,451
It's kind of...
488
00:19:04,011 --> 00:19:05,315
- brunchie.
- Hmm.
489
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:15,934
What... What are you doing here?
490
00:19:15,997 --> 00:19:18,733
You... You can't just show
up at my office like this.
491
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:21,402
I'm just checking in.
Plus, I brought you a lunch.
492
00:19:21,472 --> 00:19:23,401
- Oh. Tha...
- I made it myself.
493
00:19:23,631 --> 00:19:24,689
Thank you.
494
00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:27,675
A cubicle?
495
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:29,485
Uh...
496
00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:30,787
Man, I pictured you for kind of
497
00:19:30,812 --> 00:19:32,747
a corner-office kind of a guy.
498
00:19:33,122 --> 00:19:35,524
You know, after all, you came
up with Jumping Jack Crash.
499
00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:37,335
- Yeah, yeah.
- Man, that lightning bolt
500
00:19:37,401 --> 00:19:38,781
is a piece of Americana.
501
00:19:38,989 --> 00:19:40,991
Hey, did the San Diego
Chargers ever try to sue?
502
00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,142
No, they didn't.
503
00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:43,602
And I will have an office soon,
504
00:19:43,602 --> 00:19:45,771
but not if I sit around
chatting to people all day.
505
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,439
- So...
- All right, all right.
506
00:19:47,439 --> 00:19:49,485
I get it, I get it. I'll be out of your...
507
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,301
Hey, what's this?
508
00:19:54,851 --> 00:19:56,915
Oh, that's my new client.
509
00:19:57,282 --> 00:19:58,836
It's 40% alcohol.
510
00:19:59,653 --> 00:20:01,787
You sure it's a smart idea
having this on your desk?
511
00:20:02,270 --> 00:20:04,074
I work at an ad agency.
512
00:20:05,481 --> 00:20:06,912
I'm confiscating this.
513
00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,884
Oh, you're not strong enough to deal
514
00:20:08,884 --> 00:20:10,086
with this kind of temptation.
515
00:20:10,086 --> 00:20:11,422
It... It's...
516
00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:15,143
Hell, it's got tits and
ass and booze inside?
517
00:20:16,696 --> 00:20:17,864
Do you...
518
00:20:17,864 --> 00:20:19,595
You know my mouth's watering
just looking at this thing.
519
00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:21,905
And I've got five years clean.
520
00:20:22,235 --> 00:20:25,140
Listen, I-it's work, okay?
I'm not drinking the stuff.
521
00:20:25,979 --> 00:20:26,983
Okay.
522
00:20:29,109 --> 00:20:30,641
I'm gonna need you to blow in this.
523
00:20:30,844 --> 00:20:32,379
- [BEEPS]
- I'm not blowing in that thing.
524
00:20:32,379 --> 00:20:33,483
Yeah, you are.
525
00:20:37,184 --> 00:20:38,097
[BEEPS]
526
00:20:38,508 --> 00:20:39,643
Come on.
527
00:20:39,643 --> 00:20:40,744
[BLOWS]
528
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,655
Blow like it's Betty
White's 95th birthday cake.
529
00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,154
[BEEPS]
530
00:20:50,888 --> 00:20:52,825
Son of a bitch, Tom. It's 11:00 a.m.
531
00:20:52,856 --> 00:20:53,911
Oh, no, no, no.
532
00:20:53,936 --> 00:20:56,817
I... My boss asked me
to sample some product.
533
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,380
- I had a tiny sip. It's not a...
- You don't get it, man!
534
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,396
What?
535
00:21:01,311 --> 00:21:02,864
A sip is a slip.
536
00:21:02,865 --> 00:21:03,932
That's all it takes.
537
00:21:04,566 --> 00:21:06,783
If I had just one sip,
I'd be off and running.
538
00:21:07,503 --> 00:21:08,580
Okay.
539
00:21:10,467 --> 00:21:12,269
You know, I'm starting
to seriously question
540
00:21:12,269 --> 00:21:13,670
this work environment here.
541
00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,527
My work environment is fine.
542
00:21:16,273 --> 00:21:17,363
No.
543
00:21:17,917 --> 00:21:18,996
Cutter.
544
00:21:19,035 --> 00:21:21,070
Cutter, where you... Where are you going?
545
00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:21,974
Cutter?
546
00:21:24,347 --> 00:21:25,681
Cutter, where are you...
547
00:21:25,681 --> 00:21:26,816
Cutter, where are you going?
548
00:21:26,816 --> 00:21:28,017
No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no!
549
00:21:28,017 --> 00:21:30,153
- Uh!
- Please... please get down.
550
00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:32,343
Listen up, I've got an
announcement to make.
551
00:21:32,423 --> 00:21:34,225
- Please get down.
- Down. Over there, now.
552
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:35,425
- MAN: What's going on?
- Now.
553
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,745
- Please get down.
- I'm sorry to interrupt.
554
00:21:38,496 --> 00:21:40,887
My name's Tracy Cutter,
and I'm an alcoholic.
555
00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:43,697
I'm also this brave young man's sponsor.
556
00:21:43,792 --> 00:21:45,136
[CHUCKLES]
557
00:21:45,168 --> 00:21:46,369
I don't know who hired this guy,
558
00:21:46,407 --> 00:21:48,834
but it's not funny, people.
559
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,128
It's no joke.
560
00:21:50,651 --> 00:21:51,930
I'm blowing Tom's cover
561
00:21:51,955 --> 00:21:53,834
because we're dealing with
some serious shit here.
562
00:21:54,434 --> 00:21:56,026
And my man's gonna need your help.
563
00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,295
Dealing with alcoholism isn't easy.
564
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,165
But with your love and support,
Tom can get through this.
565
00:22:01,747 --> 00:22:03,616
That's why, by the power invested in me
566
00:22:03,616 --> 00:22:05,240
as Tom's Sober Friends sponsor,
567
00:22:05,288 --> 00:22:08,284
I'm giving you permission to
check his breath every morning.
568
00:22:08,578 --> 00:22:10,013
I'm leaving this here.
569
00:22:10,261 --> 00:22:12,930
It's an SD-5 police-issue breathalyzer.
570
00:22:13,323 --> 00:22:15,098
Self-cleaning, standard stuff.
571
00:22:15,695 --> 00:22:17,822
Have Tom blow in this for 10 seconds
572
00:22:17,847 --> 00:22:19,523
while you hold down this button.
573
00:22:21,219 --> 00:22:22,918
But, remember, the
breathalyzer doesn't check
574
00:22:22,918 --> 00:22:24,481
- for benzos or opiates.
- Oh.
575
00:22:24,481 --> 00:22:27,145
So feel free to check his
coat pockets and desk drawers.
576
00:22:27,784 --> 00:22:29,653
But be careful while you're poking around,
577
00:22:29,653 --> 00:22:31,922
- you might find a dirty needle in there.
- No.
578
00:22:31,922 --> 00:22:34,658
Remember, you're dealing with
a man who sold his family dog
579
00:22:34,658 --> 00:22:36,193
to the Vietcong for heroin.
580
00:22:36,539 --> 00:22:37,619
WOMAN: What? Oh, my God!
581
00:22:37,712 --> 00:22:39,415
- That's right.
- Uh...
582
00:22:39,415 --> 00:22:41,705
He might as well put the damn
thing on the grill himself.
583
00:22:42,947 --> 00:22:44,603
But hold your head up high, Tom.
584
00:22:44,974 --> 00:22:47,176
I think everybody in this room has battled
585
00:22:47,176 --> 00:22:49,581
with some form of
addition... Be it caffeine...
586
00:22:49,791 --> 00:22:50,777
Hmm?
587
00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:51,791
- ...food...
- Hmm?
588
00:22:51,816 --> 00:22:54,062
...video games and/or masturbation.
589
00:22:54,947 --> 00:22:57,672
Whatever it is, communication
is the key, right?
590
00:22:58,817 --> 00:23:00,744
Or maybe just cutting
back on those desserts.
591
00:23:00,785 --> 00:23:01,780
Mm!
592
00:23:02,098 --> 00:23:03,247
Anyways...
593
00:23:04,015 --> 00:23:05,889
there's a saying I recently heard...
594
00:23:07,342 --> 00:23:08,661
It takes a village.
595
00:23:09,811 --> 00:23:11,175
You all...
596
00:23:12,511 --> 00:23:13,881
You all are that village.
597
00:23:14,906 --> 00:23:17,752
And Tom here is the village
drunk who needs your help.
598
00:23:19,037 --> 00:23:20,284
WOMAN: Oh, Tom.
599
00:23:20,684 --> 00:23:22,436
Why would you do something like that?
600
00:23:22,461 --> 00:23:24,529
- They can fire me.
- No, they can't.
601
00:23:24,826 --> 00:23:26,876
That's discrimination.
We'd sue their asses.
602
00:23:27,483 --> 00:23:28,599
For what?
603
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,619
Addicts are a protected class, Tom.
604
00:23:30,736 --> 00:23:32,824
I mean, you're not
protected like a transsexual.
605
00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:35,017
But you're way ahead of the black guy.
606
00:23:35,451 --> 00:23:36,988
As an ex-cop, I should know.
607
00:23:38,076 --> 00:23:40,011
Okay, but I don't want it to get to that...
608
00:23:40,011 --> 00:23:41,913
KEVIN: But Thomas Jefferson
609
00:23:41,913 --> 00:23:44,149
doesn't want to sign the
whole thing over again
610
00:23:44,149 --> 00:23:47,352
until Hancock gets to use the Cross pen.
611
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:49,478
I like it, kid. Keep 'em coming.
612
00:23:49,533 --> 00:23:51,579
- No, that was my thinking, actually.
- Mr. Cutter.
613
00:23:52,638 --> 00:23:54,395
That was quite a show you put on up there.
614
00:23:54,831 --> 00:23:56,607
I'm sorry for the distraction, sir.
615
00:23:56,638 --> 00:23:58,007
- I didn't know he was...
- Don't apologize, Tom.
616
00:23:58,075 --> 00:23:59,970
I have a brother in the
program, and I think it's great
617
00:23:59,995 --> 00:24:01,796
you're trying to get a grip on this thing.
618
00:24:02,094 --> 00:24:04,118
I want you to know that
we're all here for you.
619
00:24:05,171 --> 00:24:06,265
Thank you, sir.
620
00:24:06,265 --> 00:24:08,338
But the second I think
you're back on that shit,
621
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:09,487
we're gonna have problems.
622
00:24:09,902 --> 00:24:11,516
- Understood?
- Boom!
623
00:24:11,704 --> 00:24:13,006
Don't leave me hanging.
624
00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:16,655
See, that's the kind of
tough love my man needs.
625
00:24:18,274 --> 00:24:19,658
Here, put your digits in there, chief.
626
00:24:20,103 --> 00:24:21,752
If there's a problem, I'll let you know.
627
00:24:22,401 --> 00:24:24,608
Come on. [SIGHS]
628
00:24:25,132 --> 00:24:26,999
I'll try not to call after midnight...
629
00:24:27,484 --> 00:24:28,886
unless it's life or death.
630
00:24:31,465 --> 00:24:33,008
- Thank you.
- So...
631
00:24:33,618 --> 00:24:35,455
The Declaration of Independence.
632
00:24:36,379 --> 00:24:38,110
- The Founding Fathers...
- LOUDERMILK: Okay,
633
00:24:38,135 --> 00:24:39,399
so you gotta know what your triggers are.
634
00:24:41,047 --> 00:24:42,183
All right?
635
00:24:42,487 --> 00:24:43,398
So, Tony,
636
00:24:43,761 --> 00:24:46,643
for you, having very
expensive bottles of art...
637
00:24:47,244 --> 00:24:48,570
that's a trigger.
638
00:24:49,230 --> 00:24:51,614
Yeah, that would definitely
be a trigger for me.
639
00:24:51,896 --> 00:24:53,052
I love wine.
640
00:24:53,131 --> 00:24:56,201
I used to start every
morning with a box of Franzia.
641
00:24:56,389 --> 00:24:58,861
Don't you dare call that wine. That's shit.
642
00:24:58,886 --> 00:25:00,354
I'm in high school, douchebag.
643
00:25:00,354 --> 00:25:02,289
Okay, all right, but the point is, though,
644
00:25:02,318 --> 00:25:04,217
is you gotta identify your triggers,
645
00:25:04,242 --> 00:25:06,769
and then you gotta keep your
fingers far away from them, right?
646
00:25:07,347 --> 00:25:09,016
What are your triggers, Loudermilk?
647
00:25:09,506 --> 00:25:11,263
Uh, I would say...
648
00:25:11,517 --> 00:25:14,633
middle-age men who tuck
their shirts into mom-jeans.
649
00:25:15,035 --> 00:25:16,171
[LAUGHTER]
650
00:25:16,642 --> 00:25:19,090
I'd like a serious answer from you.
651
00:25:20,086 --> 00:25:21,777
We're gonna focus on
the group here right now.
652
00:25:21,848 --> 00:25:22,908
You're part of the group.
653
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:24,609
Yeah, how do you expect us to open up
654
00:25:24,610 --> 00:25:26,211
if you can't, Loudermilk?
655
00:25:26,211 --> 00:25:27,779
It's like you're Mr. Perfect,
656
00:25:27,779 --> 00:25:28,914
but you want to hear our dirty laundry.
657
00:25:28,914 --> 00:25:30,882
No, I'm not... I'm not Mr. Perfect.
658
00:25:30,882 --> 00:25:32,463
He was being facetious.
659
00:25:33,042 --> 00:25:34,438
Come on, Loudermilk. It's your turn.
660
00:25:34,486 --> 00:25:35,754
Open the fuck up.
661
00:25:37,757 --> 00:25:38,882
All right.
662
00:25:39,859 --> 00:25:41,241
Fine, okay.
663
00:25:43,170 --> 00:25:44,284
Uh...
664
00:25:45,561 --> 00:25:46,642
my ex-wife.
665
00:25:47,529 --> 00:25:49,256
I would say that when
I... When I think about
666
00:25:49,349 --> 00:25:53,016
my ex-wife and what went
wrong there, I, uh...
667
00:25:54,833 --> 00:25:57,151
...it makes me want to...
Makes me want to drink.
668
00:26:01,397 --> 00:26:03,462
What did go wrong?
669
00:26:03,866 --> 00:26:06,536
Hey, fuck that. We want
him to relax right here.
670
00:26:06,536 --> 00:26:08,553
He just said thinking about his
wife makes him want to drink.
671
00:26:08,783 --> 00:26:10,518
No, no, Mugsy's right.
672
00:26:10,788 --> 00:26:13,049
Airing it all out can
only make things better.
673
00:26:13,524 --> 00:26:15,743
That's right. She doesn't
pay rent in his head.
674
00:26:16,194 --> 00:26:17,525
Gotta get it out.
675
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,756
- What was she like?
- Yeah. Is she hot? I bet she's hot.
676
00:26:21,963 --> 00:26:23,533
Not cool, man.
677
00:26:23,899 --> 00:26:25,055
She's dead.
678
00:26:25,344 --> 00:26:26,477
- Oh.
- What?
679
00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:27,797
Whoa, whoa, what are you talking about?
680
00:26:27,828 --> 00:26:28,867
She's not dead.
681
00:26:29,430 --> 00:26:31,332
- I never said she was dead.
- What?
682
00:26:31,774 --> 00:26:34,109
You said you hit into a tree, and she died.
683
00:26:34,109 --> 00:26:35,265
No, I didn't.
684
00:26:35,871 --> 00:26:38,474
I-I said that I was fine and she wasn't.
685
00:26:38,474 --> 00:26:41,276
Which she... she wasn't.
She was really messed up.
686
00:26:41,276 --> 00:26:42,407
But so...
687
00:26:43,038 --> 00:26:45,043
she... she didn't die?
688
00:26:45,347 --> 00:26:47,082
No. She came close.
689
00:26:47,515 --> 00:26:48,733
Lost a leg.
690
00:26:48,850 --> 00:26:50,162
She pulled through.
691
00:26:50,672 --> 00:26:52,220
Lives in Nashville now.
692
00:26:53,121 --> 00:26:54,870
Okay, so there, I opened up.
693
00:26:55,256 --> 00:26:57,354
All right? Can we change the topic now?
694
00:26:57,458 --> 00:26:59,060
No, you're all up in my ass
695
00:26:59,060 --> 00:27:01,195
about not sharing stuff about my father,
696
00:27:01,195 --> 00:27:02,797
so now it's time for you to open up.
697
00:27:03,050 --> 00:27:04,167
- What the hell?
- Come on!
698
00:27:04,192 --> 00:27:05,833
I... Well, I don't know
what you want me to say.
699
00:27:06,144 --> 00:27:07,745
My wife didn't die that night.
700
00:27:07,955 --> 00:27:09,097
Okay?
701
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:10,615
Our marriage did.
702
00:27:12,843 --> 00:27:14,753
Guess you just gotta
learn not to dwell on it.
703
00:27:14,869 --> 00:27:16,367
Yeah, well, I'm trying.
704
00:27:17,533 --> 00:27:19,906
Okay, and I think I do
pretty good, too, sometimes,
705
00:27:20,144 --> 00:27:22,387
you know, till I hear that fucking song.
706
00:27:22,734 --> 00:27:23,849
Which one?
707
00:27:24,182 --> 00:27:25,467
"Rainbow Connection."
708
00:27:25,883 --> 00:27:28,352
- What, by Kermit the Frog?
- Yeah.
709
00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:30,367
My wife loved that song, and I...
710
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,908
I used to put it on every single
mixtape I ever made for her.
711
00:27:35,451 --> 00:27:38,919
So, uh, of course, what that meant
was when I came to in the car,
712
00:27:39,904 --> 00:27:42,981
Kermit was just starting
in on the banjo intro,
713
00:27:43,439 --> 00:27:44,579
you know?
714
00:27:46,272 --> 00:27:48,474
And, uh, I remembered where I was.
715
00:27:48,506 --> 00:27:49,774
I looked over.
716
00:27:51,890 --> 00:27:53,400
I saw all that blood
717
00:27:54,943 --> 00:27:56,141
and thought...
718
00:27:57,817 --> 00:28:00,353
"Oh, son of a bitch, I
just killed the only woman
719
00:28:00,378 --> 00:28:01,554
I'm ever gonna love."
720
00:28:03,648 --> 00:28:05,650
And then the frog
started singing the verse,
721
00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:08,336
and that... it just repeats over and over.
722
00:28:09,860 --> 00:28:12,885
Okay? So now you know, all right?
723
00:28:12,924 --> 00:28:16,080
My big trigger is the song
from the fucking "Muppet Movie."
724
00:28:17,458 --> 00:28:18,576
[SIGHS]
725
00:28:19,862 --> 00:28:22,151
Would someone else like
to share something, please?
726
00:28:24,823 --> 00:28:26,593
Cut... Cutter's first name is Tracy.
727
00:28:26,825 --> 00:28:28,292
[SCATTER CHUCKLES]
728
00:28:31,755 --> 00:28:33,466
Don't drink. Don't drink.
729
00:28:37,769 --> 00:28:38,760
MAN: Hey.
730
00:28:39,647 --> 00:28:40,640
Hey!
731
00:28:41,347 --> 00:28:42,965
- Yeah?
- You got a light?
732
00:28:43,182 --> 00:28:44,333
I don't smoke.
733
00:28:44,784 --> 00:28:46,471
Once a pussy, always a pussy.
734
00:28:50,323 --> 00:28:51,524
Dad?
735
00:28:51,524 --> 00:28:53,860
♪ So maybe in my mind ♪
736
00:28:53,860 --> 00:28:56,796
♪ There's an elegant land ♪
737
00:28:56,796 --> 00:28:59,665
♪ In the darkness ♪
738
00:29:02,012 --> 00:29:05,282
♪ Oh, and maybe in my mind ♪
739
00:29:05,313 --> 00:29:08,183
♪ It's a hell of a time ♪
740
00:29:08,253 --> 00:29:11,523
♪ In the darkness ♪
741
00:29:14,013 --> 00:29:16,549
♪ And maybe in space ♪
742
00:29:16,639 --> 00:29:20,061
♪ There's an alien race ♪
743
00:29:20,086 --> 00:29:24,096
♪ I wouldn't be surprised ♪
744
00:29:24,223 --> 00:29:27,268
♪ So without further ado ♪
745
00:29:27,426 --> 00:29:31,745
♪ We'd like to introduce you to ♪
746
00:29:31,831 --> 00:29:37,105
♪
747
00:29:37,236 --> 00:29:43,541
♪
53381
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