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1
00:00:04,734 --> 00:00:07,767
( theme music playing )
2
00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:21,767
Hey...
3
00:01:21,801 --> 00:01:22,767
( laughter )
4
00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:24,534
Drinks for everybody.
5
00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:26,033
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
6
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,534
In our little group.
7
00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:28,434
Tony won tonight?
8
00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:29,734
Does this look like
9
00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:31,334
the face of a loser?
10
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:33,434
Well, in that case,
the first pitcher's on me.
11
00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:36,400
Hey, thanks, Tom.
Oh, that's great.
12
00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:38,934
Oh, boy, did that guy
go down hard.
13
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,868
That sucker hit the canvas
like a sack of cement.
14
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:43,901
Hey, you know, I'll tell you,
I was worried for a minute.
15
00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:45,667
You never want to see
anybody get hurt, you know.
16
00:01:45,701 --> 00:01:48,033
Ah...
Hey, you really gave it
to him good, huh, Tony?
17
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,267
It was a weird
thing, Tommy.
18
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,100
The guy was climbing
into the ring,
19
00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:53,534
he trips, falls down
and knocks himself cold.
20
00:01:54,834 --> 00:01:56,100
Tony won by default.
21
00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:57,400
You mean,
that's what you're celebrating?
22
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,601
I had to make it
through the same ropes.
23
00:02:00,634 --> 00:02:03,234
That'll be three bucks.
24
00:02:03,267 --> 00:02:05,200
BOBBY:
Hey, look.
25
00:02:05,234 --> 00:02:06,367
There's Reverend Jim.
26
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,534
Oh, yeah.
27
00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:10,200
The guy who performed
Latka's wedding ceremony.
28
00:02:10,234 --> 00:02:12,000
Hey, Reverend Jim!
29
00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:13,367
Hey, how you doing,
buddy?
30
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,534
Fine, fine.
31
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,000
Uh, how you doing?
32
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:17,501
Oh, great, great.
33
00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:18,868
You, uh, remember us?
34
00:02:18,901 --> 00:02:20,734
Uh, nope.
35
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:24,701
Jeez, it was nice
chatting with you.
36
00:02:24,734 --> 00:02:26,701
Latka!
Where have you been?
37
00:02:26,734 --> 00:02:30,033
I thought you were
coming to my fight.
38
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,901
( speaking native language )
39
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:34,234
Latka, Latka, Latka,
calm down.
40
00:02:34,267 --> 00:02:35,400
Go slowly.
41
00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:36,567
All right.
42
00:02:36,601 --> 00:02:38,901
I was going to
go to your fight
43
00:02:38,934 --> 00:02:40,901
but I take the
wrong subway
44
00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:44,400
and I end up in a
place called, uh...
45
00:02:44,434 --> 00:02:46,400
how do you say,
uh, Har... Harlem.
46
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:47,901
Harlem?
47
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:52,067
So I went walking
around, uh, lost,
48
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:54,734
and I go into the bar,
and I tell everyone
49
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:56,767
I am looking for a fight.
50
00:02:57,767 --> 00:03:00,234
Right.
51
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,868
Uh... did you find one?
52
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:04,701
Well, lots of people
offered to help.
53
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:08,868
So... uh, I sit down
and drink with them
54
00:03:08,901 --> 00:03:11,534
and you know,
they make mistake.
55
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,067
They think I am
their brother.
56
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,701
( snickers )
57
00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:16,534
So... so they teach
me word... new words
58
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:19,701
and lots of songs, and
we all have a good time.
59
00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:21,033
Mm-hmm.
60
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,400
So how was your fight?
61
00:03:22,434 --> 00:03:23,100
I won!
62
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:25,701
Oh, you are a bad dude.
63
00:03:25,734 --> 00:03:27,167
Sit down, Latka.
64
00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:31,200
When are they going to clean
those bathrooms?
65
00:03:31,234 --> 00:03:33,367
You were in the kitchen.
66
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,534
Thank goodness.
67
00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:37,634
Wait a minute--
you marry me.
68
00:03:37,667 --> 00:03:41,234
Uh, believe me,
it would never work out.
69
00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:42,400
No, no, no, no.
70
00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:44,667
You performed
the wedding ceremony.
71
00:03:44,701 --> 00:03:46,067
Yeah, yeah.
Don't you remember?
72
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,567
Eight months ago,
Latka had to get married
73
00:03:48,601 --> 00:03:50,400
to stay in the country.
74
00:03:50,434 --> 00:03:54,234
You performed the ceremony
at the Sunshine Garage.
75
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:59,434
( speakingnative language )
76
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:02,667
Oh, yeah.
77
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:06,501
I thought I dreamed that.
78
00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:10,300
Maybe I'm dreaming this.
79
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,534
Hey, Tommy, how about
another glass, okay?
80
00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:13,868
TOMMY:
You're up.
81
00:04:13,901 --> 00:04:17,267
So how's the
Church of the Peaceful doing?
82
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,767
Not so good.
83
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,667
After the draft ended,
I lost my flock.
84
00:04:21,701 --> 00:04:25,000
Well, have you performed
any other wedding ceremonies?
85
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:26,868
Let's see, I, uh...
86
00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:30,167
married two people
stark naked in the woods.
87
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,868
You mean the whole
wedding party was nude?
88
00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:35,834
No, just me.
89
00:04:35,868 --> 00:04:37,000
They, uh...
90
00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:40,133
...changed their minds
at the last minute
91
00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:43,167
and forgot to tell me.
92
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,734
Thanks for the beer.
93
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:46,734
Yeah.
94
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:50,167
Well,
we'll see you around.
95
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,467
Oh, boy.
96
00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:52,968
Oh, the poor guy.
97
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,901
You know, in-in my country
we have an expression:
98
00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:59,000
( speaking native language )
99
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,501
What does it mean?
100
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,100
Uh... "Poor guy."
101
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:05,334
You know, call me crazy,
102
00:05:05,367 --> 00:05:06,767
but I happen to
like the guy.
103
00:05:06,801 --> 00:05:08,734
and I'm going to go
see how he's doing.
104
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,334
You're crazy.
You're crazy,
crazy.
105
00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:12,033
( all chuckling )
106
00:05:13,868 --> 00:05:15,334
Hey, uh, Jim.
107
00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:16,834
Yo!
108
00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:18,868
Listen, my friends and I,
we were wondering
109
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,701
if you'd like to come over
and join us.
110
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:24,400
Well, what did
you decide?
111
00:05:25,434 --> 00:05:29,033
Well, we-we, uh...
112
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,868
we thought
that-that you might like to?
113
00:05:31,901 --> 00:05:34,200
Okeydoke.
114
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:38,067
Of course,
I can only stay for five or six.
115
00:05:41,734 --> 00:05:43,567
ELAINE:
So how you doing, Jim?
116
00:05:43,601 --> 00:05:45,067
Fine, fine.
117
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:48,267
Uh, who are you
folks again?
118
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,567
You marry me.
119
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:50,834
In the garage.
120
00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:52,367
Oh, yeah.
121
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,701
( imitating Latka's language )
122
00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:56,267
Jim, uh,
would you mind
123
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,701
if I asked you a
personal question?
124
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,634
Well, I can take it,
if you can.
125
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,834
No, no, no, not
that personal.
126
00:06:03,868 --> 00:06:05,434
Um, did you ever think
127
00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:08,133
about doing something
with your life?
128
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,734
You know, like
getting a job?
129
00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:11,334
As a matter of fact,
I have.
130
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:15,501
I've often thought
I'd make a good pharmacist.
131
00:06:15,534 --> 00:06:17,234
A pharmacist?
Mm-hmm.
132
00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:18,901
Oh, well, if you're
serious then
133
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:21,667
you have to go to school,
take a lot of chemistry...
134
00:06:21,701 --> 00:06:26,000
Oh, I've taken
a lot of chemistry.
135
00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:29,501
You know, this has been
a very long day for me
136
00:06:29,534 --> 00:06:32,834
so I must
boogie on home now.
137
00:06:32,868 --> 00:06:34,601
Boogie down,
Latka.
Boogie down.
138
00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:36,300
Okay. Good-bye.
Thanks for
dropping by.
139
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:37,767
See you.
140
00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:40,133
* Get on up
141
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,167
* Get on the scene
142
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,601
* I feel like a sex machine.
143
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:53,834
Last call.
I got to close it up.
144
00:06:53,868 --> 00:06:55,200
Hey, Tom,
another round.
145
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:56,567
Hey, uh...
146
00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:58,601
will you guys let me buy?
147
00:06:58,634 --> 00:06:59,601
Yeah!
Sure!
148
00:06:59,634 --> 00:07:00,634
Why not?
149
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:17,000
Any of this currency?
150
00:07:18,033 --> 00:07:19,400
Next time.
151
00:07:19,434 --> 00:07:21,734
Yeah, I know.
I'll get it.
152
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,534
Jim, I guess what
we're trying to say
153
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:25,000
is that we'd
like to help you.
154
00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:28,400
ALEX:
Hey, Elaine, would
you leave him alone?
155
00:07:28,434 --> 00:07:30,400
He's not asking anything
from anybody.
156
00:07:30,434 --> 00:07:34,067
Besides, it's not like our lives
are in such great shape.
157
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:35,801
Yeah, but I just can't believe
he's happy this way.
158
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,067
You know,
getting high all the time.
159
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:41,567
Hey... no. Everything I take
is by doctor's prescription--
160
00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:42,901
everything.
161
00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:47,601
Though finding the right doctor
can be difficult.
162
00:07:50,901 --> 00:07:52,467
Jim, please
don't be offended
163
00:07:52,501 --> 00:07:55,200
by what I'm about to say,
but don't you ever feel
164
00:07:55,234 --> 00:07:56,868
like you're wasting
your life?
165
00:07:56,901 --> 00:08:00,067
Me? No, no.
166
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,968
I have function in life.
167
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,033
I-I stand for something.
168
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,000
Not everybody stands
for something, but I do.
169
00:08:08,033 --> 00:08:11,968
I am the living embodiment
of the '60s.
170
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,234
Everything that came along,
I went with.
171
00:08:15,267 --> 00:08:19,267
Even if I didn't know
what it was, I went with it.
172
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,200
I did some drugs...
173
00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:26,667
not nearly so many
as you probably think I did.
174
00:08:26,701 --> 00:08:29,968
How many drugs
do you think I did?
175
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,534
Mmm... a lot.
176
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:34,734
Wow! Right on the nose!
177
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:38,267
But I did a lot
of all the other stuff, too.
178
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:43,334
I spent a year of my life
making a macram� couch.
179
00:08:49,734 --> 00:08:52,901
I went to all the big events.
180
00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:55,434
I was at Woodstock.
181
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:57,634
Oh, yeah?
You went to Woodstock?
182
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:58,868
Yeah.
183
00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:00,901
Half a million people.
184
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:03,968
Hey, you know,
if I hadn't been there
185
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:11,300
there would only have been...
499,999 people.
186
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:17,167
Lucky thing for them I went.
187
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:24,167
All of them groovin' on
Hendrix, Sly, Joni, and The Who.
188
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,968
All of us gathered together
in peace and joy.
189
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,567
I'd like to see them try that
with disco.
190
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:33,067
I did it all.
191
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,467
I wore flowers in my hair...
192
00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:38,634
meditated for hours on end...
193
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,167
chanted...
194
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,901
I was finding God
all over the place.
195
00:09:43,934 --> 00:09:46,767
He kept ditching me.
196
00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:52,501
I marched and protested
against that crummy war.
197
00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:53,501
Is that so?
198
00:09:53,534 --> 00:09:54,767
Pardon me?
199
00:09:54,801 --> 00:09:55,767
Hey, hey, hey, Tony.
200
00:09:55,801 --> 00:09:57,601
No, I got something
to say, Alex.
201
00:09:57,634 --> 00:09:59,367
You know, the only reason
why guys like you
202
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,501
got to stay home, protest,
and get loaded
203
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,501
because guys like me
were over in 'Nam
204
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:05,033
doing your fighting for you.
205
00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,367
What do you say to that?
206
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,067
Thank you.
207
00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:18,367
You're welcome.
208
00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:22,067
But you got to understand
my position.
209
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,067
I thought I was on my way
to Nirvana.
210
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,067
All I ended up with
211
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:32,067
was recurring flashbacks
of the original Mouseketeers...
212
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,868
hatching out of seedpods.
213
00:10:37,968 --> 00:10:39,901
Boy, time flies.
214
00:10:39,934 --> 00:10:41,234
Yeah.
215
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:42,934
I'm sleeping with
the lights on tonight.
216
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,234
So, Jim, uh,
take it easy, old man,
217
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:49,501
and, uh... okay.
Good night, Tony.
218
00:10:49,534 --> 00:10:50,634
ELAINE:
Hey, guys.
219
00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:51,934
Let's get him a job.
220
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:52,934
BOBBY:
Let's do that.
221
00:10:52,968 --> 00:10:54,267
TONY:
Doing what?
222
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,601
What, are you kidding?
223
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:58,033
What kind of training
could he possibly have?
224
00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:59,267
None.
225
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,767
What kind of skills
could he possibly have?
226
00:11:00,801 --> 00:11:01,901
None.
227
00:11:01,934 --> 00:11:04,200
What kind of job can
we possibly get him?
228
00:11:04,234 --> 00:11:06,534
Cabdriver.
Cabdriver.
Cabdriver.
229
00:11:12,701 --> 00:11:15,467
ELAINE:
Hey, guys.
230
00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:16,567
Hey. How...? Yeah?
231
00:11:16,601 --> 00:11:18,133
Now I'm telling you, Jim,
232
00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:20,868
you drive in the test
like you just drove now
233
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,133
and you'll do fine.
234
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:24,834
So, Jim...
you coming along?
235
00:11:24,868 --> 00:11:27,267
Well, I'm a little
confused about something.
236
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:28,901
Am I coming or going?
237
00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:31,734
Come on,
I'll introduce you
238
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,667
to your future boss,
all right?
239
00:11:33,701 --> 00:11:35,634
Might as well
get this over with, huh?
240
00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:37,667
Hey, Jim,
if you can handle this,
241
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,901
the rest of reality
is a piece of cake, believe me.
242
00:11:39,934 --> 00:11:42,067
LOUIE ( loudly over P.A. ):
Okay, listen up here!
243
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:45,100
Simpkin, 401.
244
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:49,300
Petrelli, 622.
245
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,667
Latka, I'm still waiting
on that cab.
246
00:11:51,701 --> 00:11:54,000
I could have built
a new one by now.
247
00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:57,601
I'm getting done, bro.
248
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,868
Excuse me, Louie.
249
00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:01,734
You remember Reverend Jim.
250
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:02,868
Howdy.
251
00:12:02,901 --> 00:12:04,200
Get him out.
252
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:05,601
I mean it, Nardo.
253
00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:06,868
Get him out of here.
254
00:12:06,901 --> 00:12:08,200
He's a flake.
255
00:12:08,234 --> 00:12:09,701
All right, come on now, listen.
256
00:12:09,734 --> 00:12:13,400
Losers...
bookings are down this week.
257
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:17,033
I know guys pulling rickshas
that could do better.
258
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:19,334
We got to get Louie
to agree to this.
259
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,634
Well, maybe we can get him
on a shift that Louie...
260
00:12:21,667 --> 00:12:23,133
he won't have
to deal with Louie.
261
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:24,667
ALEX:
Maybe he could start
in another company
262
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:26,033
and, uh, you know,
once he breaks in...
263
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,067
Hey, what was that?
264
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:28,934
Uh... what was what?
265
00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:30,534
You just put something
in Louie's coffee.
266
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:31,734
What was that?
267
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:34,567
It was either
a tranquilizer
or a Chiclet.
268
00:12:34,601 --> 00:12:36,934
Jim! Jim, that's stupid!
269
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,133
LOUIE:
Hey, Wheeler!
270
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:43,167
Get your mitts off my cup.
271
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,334
Yeah, but Louie...
272
00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:45,567
Get out of here.
273
00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:47,100
Get your own coffee.
274
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,234
( phone ringing )
275
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,501
LOUIE:
Yeah?
276
00:12:51,534 --> 00:12:53,501
Judy?
277
00:12:53,534 --> 00:12:55,868
Do I sound like Judy to you?
278
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:59,834
You got the wrong number,
bone-brain.
279
00:12:59,868 --> 00:13:01,701
Where was I?
280
00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:04,133
You were giving them hell,
Louie.
281
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,667
Oh, yeah.
282
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:10,567
Krubnik, 301!
283
00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:13,267
Try something new tonight,
like making money.
284
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,467
Hendy, 338!
285
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:19,634
One more ticket,
and you're history.
286
00:13:31,901 --> 00:13:35,534
I guess we can
rule out Chiclets.
287
00:13:39,734 --> 00:13:40,901
Banta?
288
00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:42,534
Yeah, Louie?
289
00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:43,667
Yeah, Lou?
290
00:13:43,701 --> 00:13:44,968
Uh...
291
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,801
Let's see.
292
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:52,067
901 looks nice.
293
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,100
How you doing, Banta?
294
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:56,100
Good, Lou.
295
00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:57,334
Thanks.
296
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:59,133
Good.
297
00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:02,868
Lubna, 831.
298
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:08,868
Hey, come on, guys.
299
00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:12,701
Let's get cracking here.
300
00:14:12,734 --> 00:14:15,234
Let's get this show
on the road.
301
00:14:19,501 --> 00:14:20,834
Latka...
302
00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:24,868
By golly...
303
00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:28,100
let's get this cab out, huh?
304
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:30,434
Zoom, zoom.
305
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:34,000
Okay, Louie.
306
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:37,467
Come on, boys and girls,
let's roll them out.
307
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:47,968
* We were sailing along
308
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,734
* On Moonlight Bay
309
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:58,334
* We could hear
the voices singing *
310
00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:01,267
* They seemed to say
311
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,434
Everybody sing.
312
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:08,734
* You have stolen my heart
313
00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:15,767
BOTH:
* Now don't go away
314
00:15:15,801 --> 00:15:21,801
* As we sang
love's old sweet song *
315
00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:24,434
* On Moonlight Bay
316
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:30,367
( harmonizing: )
* On Moonlight Bay.
317
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,200
Well, I think
I'm going to go upstairs
318
00:15:40,234 --> 00:15:42,801
and go to sleep now, Ma.
319
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,367
Good night.
320
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:54,434
( softly ):
* We were sailing along
321
00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:59,767
* On Moonlight Bay
322
00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:06,834
* We could hear
the voices singing *
323
00:16:06,868 --> 00:16:12,934
* They seemed to say
324
00:16:12,968 --> 00:16:18,501
* You have stolen my heart
325
00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:20,601
* Now don't go 'way
326
00:16:20,634 --> 00:16:21,601
Hey, Louie?
327
00:16:21,634 --> 00:16:24,234
Yeah, Bob?
328
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:26,033
Hey, is it okay
329
00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:29,501
if Jim comes and works here
as a cab driver?
330
00:16:29,534 --> 00:16:32,601
Sure.
331
00:16:32,634 --> 00:16:35,534
Everybody works
on Moonlight Bay.
332
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:44,400
* On Moonlight Bay.
333
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:12,868
Okay...
334
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,934
here we go.
335
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,634
Hey, uh...
336
00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:21,534
give me a little help
on this one.
337
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,501
You forgot
your last name?
338
00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:26,834
I've been busy.
339
00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:29,300
Well, what was
your father's name?
340
00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:30,901
Uh, Ignatowski.
341
00:17:30,934 --> 00:17:34,000
Well, maybe that's
your name, too.
342
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,534
You know,
I think you're right.
343
00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:44,400
Good, good.
344
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,033
"Eyes."
345
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:55,167
No, don't put two.
346
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,567
Oh. They mean color,
don't they?
347
00:17:57,601 --> 00:17:59,901
Yep.
348
00:17:59,934 --> 00:18:01,534
What color
are my eyes?
349
00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:09,801
Elaine, you want
to take a stab at this one?
350
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,367
Hmm...
351
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,434
well, you can
rule out white.
352
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,267
Call them brown.
353
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:17,100
Okeydoke.
354
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:23,467
...W-N.
...W-N.
355
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:27,167
Uh, let's see.
356
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,167
Uh... "Height."
357
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,200
Oh, about, um...
358
00:18:32,234 --> 00:18:33,667
about five ten?
359
00:18:33,701 --> 00:18:35,167
Oh, good.
Yeah, good.
360
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,200
Not bad. Not bad.
361
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,234
Uh...
362
00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:47,234
Ow.
363
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:53,234
"Weight."
364
00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,734
Weight, uh...
365
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:57,400
now this is
a very relative question.
366
00:18:57,434 --> 00:19:00,634
I mean, if I were in space
I'd be weightless.
367
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:03,901
You are in space.
368
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:07,133
Jim, they mean
Earth weight.
369
00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:09,033
Oh.
370
00:19:13,634 --> 00:19:15,000
Whew.
371
00:19:15,033 --> 00:19:19,334
This is the most reading
I've done in years.
372
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,501
My brown eyes hurt.
373
00:19:21,534 --> 00:19:24,467
Here, here, let me
help you out, okay?
374
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:25,834
All right.
Phew!
375
00:19:25,868 --> 00:19:27,667
Um... "Have you
ever experienced
376
00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:29,534
"loss of consciousness,
hallucinations,
377
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,234
"dizzy spells,
convulsive disorders,
378
00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:33,868
fainting, or periods
of loss of memory?"
379
00:19:33,901 --> 00:19:35,968
Well, hasn't everyone?
380
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,467
Put "No."
381
00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:42,501
Um... "Mental illness
or narcotic addiction?"
382
00:19:42,534 --> 00:19:45,567
That's a tough choice.
383
00:19:49,601 --> 00:19:51,234
Just put "No."
384
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:54,300
Okay, that's it.
385
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:56,234
You're ready
for the test.
386
00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:59,334
I thought this was the test.
387
00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:01,767
No, no, no,
this is the application.
388
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,334
Oh, man!
389
00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:07,267
The day is getting
rougher and rougher.
390
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:15,000
I'm expecting
the Mouseketeers
any second now.
391
00:20:15,033 --> 00:20:17,334
I'd be just like them.
392
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:21,434
I think that Cubby's
got it in for me.
393
00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:24,400
Jim, really,
it's going to be okay.
394
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:27,033
We'll just take your application
up to the counter
395
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:29,567
and then they'll give you
the test, okay?
396
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:30,601
Okay.
397
00:20:30,634 --> 00:20:32,701
Do they serve beer
over there?
398
00:20:32,734 --> 00:20:33,801
No.
399
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,467
You're going
to need this.
400
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,400
Yeah.
401
00:20:37,434 --> 00:20:40,267
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy.
402
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,601
This is a joke.
403
00:20:41,634 --> 00:20:43,267
What are you
worried about?
404
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,934
What am I worried about?
405
00:20:44,968 --> 00:20:46,400
Two things--
406
00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:49,567
That they won't issue him
a license to drive in this city
407
00:20:49,601 --> 00:20:51,534
and that they will.
408
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:54,033
ELAINE:
Go get them.
409
00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:55,367
He's going to do it.
410
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,467
I know he's going to do it.
411
00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,467
( grunts )
412
00:21:03,567 --> 00:21:05,200
Psst...
413
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,801
What does a yellow light mean?
414
00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:13,601
Slow down.
415
00:21:13,634 --> 00:21:15,667
Okay.
416
00:21:15,701 --> 00:21:19,200
What... does...
417
00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:22,868
a... yellow...
418
00:21:22,901 --> 00:21:25,434
light... mean?
419
00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:27,434
Slow down.
420
00:21:27,467 --> 00:21:29,934
Okay.
421
00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:32,734
What...
422
00:21:32,767 --> 00:21:35,801
does...
423
00:21:35,834 --> 00:21:37,334
a...
424
00:21:39,434 --> 00:21:42,100
...yellow...
425
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:43,601
light...
426
00:21:43,634 --> 00:21:45,534
mean?
427
00:21:45,567 --> 00:21:47,601
Slow down!
428
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,400
What...
429
00:21:55,334 --> 00:22:00,501
...does...
430
00:22:00,534 --> 00:22:05,067
a...
431
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:08,567
yellow...
432
00:22:08,601 --> 00:22:10,067
light...
433
00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:11,434
mean?!
434
00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:21,567
I got to admit,
I never thought you'd pass.
435
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,634
The examiner said
I did real well.
436
00:22:23,667 --> 00:22:25,567
I didn't hit hardly anything.
437
00:22:25,601 --> 00:22:26,734
Hey, Jeff?
438
00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:27,901
Yeah?
439
00:22:27,934 --> 00:22:29,834
Give this man a key.
Okay.
440
00:22:29,868 --> 00:22:32,734
And an envelope.
441
00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:37,767
Jim, I'd like to present you
with the keys to Cab 605
442
00:22:37,801 --> 00:22:39,868
and your first envelope.
443
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,434
I never been good at speeches,
444
00:22:45,467 --> 00:22:48,601
but this is one
of the great moments of my life.
445
00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:52,033
I've never felt closer
to a group of people,
446
00:22:52,067 --> 00:22:56,067
not even in the portable johns
at Woodstock.
447
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:57,601
Thanks, everybody.
448
00:22:57,634 --> 00:23:02,367
Well, uh, I'm off.
449
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,367
Oh, I'd like
to request the honor
450
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,501
of being
your first passenger.
451
00:23:07,534 --> 00:23:08,701
Well, hop in.
452
00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:10,067
Okay.
453
00:23:14,334 --> 00:23:16,067
Well, thank you.
454
00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:20,200
Where are you headed?
455
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:23,234
Uptown... cabby.
456
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,400
( engine starting )
457
00:23:37,901 --> 00:23:39,200
( tires screeching )
458
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,267
That'll be 90 cents.
459
00:24:00,901 --> 00:24:03,934
( theme music playing )
460
00:24:27,534 --> 00:24:29,100
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
461
00:24:29,133 --> 00:24:30,467
( grunts )
30262
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