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1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:03,955
- Sir?
- Oh, it's delicious.
2
00:00:03,975 --> 00:00:07,870
- Should eat some first.
- 'It's about time.'
3
00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:11,957
Sir, I hate to disturb you
during feeding time
4
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:14,973
but there's a man snooping
around the premises.
5
00:00:16,186 --> 00:00:19,018
Daddy, call the police.
6
00:00:19,039 --> 00:00:21,022
- I'll handle this.
- No, no, no, no.
7
00:00:21,042 --> 00:00:22,307
I got this one, Uncle Phil.
8
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,274
What are you doing
in our backyard, man?
9
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:29,319
Oh, my God.
Uncle Phil, he's got a..
10
00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:31,341
...business card!
11
00:00:31,362 --> 00:00:34,407
Sorry, if I startled anyone.
Nobody answered the front door.
12
00:00:34,428 --> 00:00:37,311
- I'm a realtor. Ron Reed.
- Oh. How are you?
13
00:00:37,331 --> 00:00:38,484
Now that still doesn't
give you the right
14
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,397
to go traipsing
around our property.
15
00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:41,551
But I've got a client
who's prepared to make
16
00:00:42,278 --> 00:00:43,482
a very generous offer
on this house.
17
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:48,348
Well, then come in, Ron.
It is Ron, isn't it?
18
00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:51,607
Sit down.
Take a load off, yes.
19
00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:53,651
Care for some salmon?
20
00:00:53,671 --> 00:00:55,522
Carlton!
21
00:00:57,595 --> 00:00:59,477
What kind of offer, Mr. Reed?
22
00:00:59,499 --> 00:01:00,682
Well above market value.
23
00:01:00,701 --> 00:01:02,755
My client wants to buy it
for his nephew.
24
00:01:02,776 --> 00:01:04,739
This house is not for sale.
25
00:01:04,759 --> 00:01:07,633
- How much?
- Shut up, Carlton.
26
00:01:07,653 --> 00:01:09,828
Mr. and Mrs. Banks,
if you'll hear me out.
27
00:01:09,848 --> 00:01:12,752
You see, my client's nephew grew
up in this house in the 50's
28
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:15,858
and he'd like to repurchase it
for sentimental reasons.
29
00:01:15,877 --> 00:01:16,859
How much?
30
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,913
(all)
Shut up, Carlton!
31
00:01:21,766 --> 00:01:23,850
Hey, Uncle Phil, man
32
00:01:23,871 --> 00:01:24,974
you're not really
going to consider
33
00:01:24,994 --> 00:01:26,947
selling this house, are you?
34
00:01:26,967 --> 00:01:30,032
Come on. This place
is special to us.
35
00:01:30,053 --> 00:01:33,907
I'm authorized to bid
a half million dollars
36
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,081
above fair market value.
37
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:38,022
I'm going to pack my stuff,
alright?
38
00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:40,062
[theme music]
39
00:01:40,081 --> 00:01:41,176
♪ Now this is a story ♪
40
00:01:41,197 --> 00:01:43,266
♪ All about how my life
got flipped ♪
41
00:01:43,287 --> 00:01:46,097
♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪
42
00:01:46,117 --> 00:01:48,278
♪ Just sit right there I'll tell
you how I became the prince ♪
43
00:01:48,298 --> 00:01:50,317
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
44
00:01:59,255 --> 00:02:01,466
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪
45
00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:04,408
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪
46
00:02:04,427 --> 00:02:06,436
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪
47
00:02:06,456 --> 00:02:08,617
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪
48
00:02:08,638 --> 00:02:11,550
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪
49
00:02:11,569 --> 00:02:13,557
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪
50
00:02:13,579 --> 00:02:15,719
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪
51
00:02:15,739 --> 00:02:17,596
♪ And said you're moving with
your auntie ♪
52
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:18,660
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪
53
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:19,675
♪ I whistled for a cab ♪
54
00:02:19,696 --> 00:02:20,741
♪ And when it came near ♪
55
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,566
♪ The license plate said fresh ♪
56
00:02:22,587 --> 00:02:23,682
♪ And it had dice
in the mirror ♪
57
00:02:23,702 --> 00:02:24,726
♪ If anything I can say ♪
58
00:02:24,747 --> 00:02:25,781
♪ That this cab was rare ♪
59
00:02:25,802 --> 00:02:26,836
♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪
60
00:02:26,858 --> 00:02:29,759
♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
61
00:02:29,779 --> 00:02:32,833
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪
62
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:35,825
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪
63
00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:37,955
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪
64
00:02:37,975 --> 00:02:40,978
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪
65
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,957
(Philip)
'It's kind of tempting, huh?'
66
00:02:49,977 --> 00:02:52,993
Especially with real estate
market being so soft.
67
00:02:53,012 --> 00:02:55,039
Am I the only one
who doesn't think
68
00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:57,177
making money is always
the bottom line?
69
00:02:57,196 --> 00:02:59,982
Let's hope so.
70
00:03:00,002 --> 00:03:01,919
Very funny, Carlton.
71
00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:03,946
Look, some stranger wants to
buy this house
72
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,184
for sentimental reasons.
73
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:07,181
What about our sentimental
reasons?
74
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,118
We love this house.
75
00:03:09,139 --> 00:03:11,156
You know, I mean,
I think Ashley's right.
76
00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:14,930
I mean, this place has got
a lot of memories.
77
00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:18,914
Living here has been almost
a religious experience.
78
00:03:18,935 --> 00:03:20,053
You know, my father would
kill me
79
00:03:20,072 --> 00:03:22,060
if he knew I was out
with a boy tonight.
80
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,026
I told him
I was going to church.
81
00:03:27,092 --> 00:03:29,868
The Lord is good.
82
00:03:32,075 --> 00:03:34,911
Why don't you come on over here,
sit down and relax a little bit?
83
00:03:34,931 --> 00:03:36,848
Okay.
84
00:03:36,869 --> 00:03:38,107
Ahem.
85
00:03:38,127 --> 00:03:40,973
[instrumental music]
86
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:45,057
[laughing]
87
00:03:47,902 --> 00:03:50,069
Boy, you are pretty slick,
Will Smith.
88
00:03:50,089 --> 00:03:53,074
And I ain't even oiled up yet,
you know?
89
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,878
Hey, hey, you know what?
90
00:03:57,897 --> 00:03:59,016
You can sell the house.
91
00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:01,093
It's the couch
that got the memories.
92
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,927
And the jacuzzi.
93
00:04:06,885 --> 00:04:08,063
Carlton's little
typewriting table.
94
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,931
Hey!
95
00:04:11,039 --> 00:04:13,995
Look, kids, this is serious.
96
00:04:14,014 --> 00:04:15,831
What should we do, Philip?
97
00:04:15,852 --> 00:04:18,808
I can't imagine
living someplace else.
98
00:04:18,828 --> 00:04:19,946
This is where
we raised our children
99
00:04:19,966 --> 00:04:22,822
and taught them to be
responsible adults.
100
00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:23,990
Here, Hilary,
you take it out.
101
00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:26,776
- Out where?
- To the trash cans.
102
00:04:26,795 --> 00:04:29,990
You know, those things you hit
every time you back out the car.
103
00:04:30,011 --> 00:04:33,037
Thank God! I thought it was
the neighbor's kids.
104
00:04:33,057 --> 00:04:34,934
Ow! This is gross!
105
00:04:34,953 --> 00:04:38,808
I don't touch greasy,
disgusting things.
106
00:04:38,828 --> 00:04:41,044
Just pretend it's buying you
dinner afterwards.
107
00:04:45,749 --> 00:04:46,947
- You take it.
- Girl!
108
00:04:46,967 --> 00:04:49,863
And for your information,
dinner comes first.
109
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,737
Oh, it's like that, right?
110
00:04:52,757 --> 00:04:54,734
You're just gonna slam
garbage at me.
111
00:04:54,754 --> 00:04:55,933
Good morning, Will.
112
00:04:55,954 --> 00:04:57,791
Good morning, Uncle Phil.
Here's your lunch.
113
00:04:57,810 --> 00:04:58,948
Thank you.
114
00:04:58,969 --> 00:05:02,734
We all knew that Ashley was,
well, cute.
115
00:05:02,753 --> 00:05:05,948
But with my help, she has turned
into an absolute knockout.
116
00:05:05,969 --> 00:05:09,823
So it gives me great pleasure
to present
117
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:12,858
the new Ashley Banks.
118
00:05:17,812 --> 00:05:20,718
Well, isn't she the most
gorgeous creature
119
00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:21,886
you've ever seen?
120
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,950
Ashley sweetheart, are you
comfortable dressed like this?
121
00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:27,926
Well, daddy, it all comes
down
to what Robert thinks--
122
00:05:27,946 --> 00:05:31,790
Ashley, aren't we
forgetting something?
123
00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:40,818
He's so in tune
with my needs.
124
00:05:40,838 --> 00:05:44,683
It was amazing and endless
and magnificent.
125
00:05:44,703 --> 00:05:46,720
I think I saw God.
126
00:05:48,726 --> 00:05:49,864
[screaming]
127
00:05:51,902 --> 00:05:54,878
- Stand up.
- We're sorry.
128
00:05:54,898 --> 00:05:58,872
I fell. I fell.
I fell. I fell.
129
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,639
You'd think in a house this big
130
00:06:00,658 --> 00:06:02,775
a fella would get
a little privacy.
131
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,634
Or stronger doors.
132
00:06:05,792 --> 00:06:09,666
Whatever. I still think we
shouldn't sell this house.
133
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:10,795
It's home.
134
00:06:10,814 --> 00:06:12,831
Now, Ashley, this house
obviously means
135
00:06:12,852 --> 00:06:14,659
a lot to all of us
136
00:06:14,679 --> 00:06:16,616
but you don't get an offer
like this every day.
137
00:06:16,635 --> 00:06:18,712
I'm gonna have to give it
some real consideration.
138
00:06:18,733 --> 00:06:20,714
Excuse me?
139
00:06:20,734 --> 00:06:22,815
I mean, your mother and I
will have to give it some
140
00:06:22,835 --> 00:06:25,816
real consideration,
isn't that right, sweetheart?
141
00:06:25,836 --> 00:06:26,807
Dear?
142
00:06:26,826 --> 00:06:28,767
[instrumental music]
143
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,819
Man, if we end up moving
into another guest house
144
00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:32,729
I'm getting the bedroom
this time.
145
00:06:32,748 --> 00:06:34,619
Not so fast, buster!
146
00:06:34,639 --> 00:06:37,731
Who knows if the new place is
even gonna have a guest house?
147
00:06:37,751 --> 00:06:41,722
Uh, don't worry, we'll bring
a shoe box you can sleep in.
148
00:06:41,743 --> 00:06:44,695
Listen, my friend, I haven't
exactly gotten a kick
149
00:06:44,715 --> 00:06:46,686
out of being
your roommate either.
150
00:06:46,705 --> 00:06:48,886
I mean, I can't imagine
anything more irritating
151
00:06:48,906 --> 00:06:51,637
than sharing a pool house
with you.
152
00:06:51,657 --> 00:06:55,649
Oh, I can. How about sharing
a jail cell with you?
153
00:06:56,889 --> 00:06:59,841
Come on, man, let it go.
You'll feel better.
154
00:06:59,862 --> 00:07:02,893
♪ Let my people go ♪
155
00:07:02,912 --> 00:07:07,734
♪ Oppressed so hard
they could not stand ♪
156
00:07:07,755 --> 00:07:09,916
♪ Let my people go ♪
157
00:07:11,706 --> 00:07:15,868
♪ Go down Moses ♪
158
00:07:15,889 --> 00:07:19,701
♪ Way down in Egypt land ♪
159
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,811
♪ Tell old pharaoh ♪
160
00:07:21,831 --> 00:07:26,693
♪ Let my people go ♪♪
161
00:07:29,724 --> 00:07:31,815
Yeah, well, that whole fiasco
was your fault.
162
00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:33,936
You're totally immature.
163
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,899
I'm immature?
164
00:07:38,919 --> 00:07:42,700
Well, isn't that the
munchkin
calling the midget short?
165
00:07:46,792 --> 00:07:47,833
Oh, what a night!
166
00:07:47,853 --> 00:07:50,774
I made a killing.
26 milky ways.
167
00:07:50,794 --> 00:07:53,745
And the democrats say
there's a recession.
168
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,788
What are you supposed to be?
169
00:07:56,807 --> 00:07:58,848
My idol, Macaulay Culkin.
170
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,789
And you know why he's my idol?
171
00:08:02,809 --> 00:08:05,691
Why? 'Cause y'all
the same height?
172
00:08:05,712 --> 00:08:06,952
How dare you two defy me?
173
00:08:07,672 --> 00:08:08,942
Now, see here, big guy.
174
00:08:09,664 --> 00:08:10,814
[air hissing]
175
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,756
Oh, my God! Howard!
176
00:08:18,747 --> 00:08:21,748
And to think I laid out 50 big
ones on your damn cake.
177
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,960
Not just any cake, I got you
that really, really neat one
178
00:08:24,679 --> 00:08:25,960
in the commercials,
you know the one that goes..
179
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,861
♪ Sonny the seal
your timing's a squeal ♪
180
00:08:28,881 --> 00:08:30,952
♪ 49.95 oh what a deal ♪
181
00:08:31,674 --> 00:08:32,844
♪ It's sonny.. ♪♪
182
00:08:32,863 --> 00:08:34,764
Carlton! Carlton!
183
00:08:36,705 --> 00:08:37,875
Come to think of it,
I don't know how I've been
184
00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:39,777
around you this long.
185
00:08:39,797 --> 00:08:41,898
What's wrong
with being around me?
186
00:08:41,918 --> 00:08:43,719
Oh, well, how about
187
00:08:43,738 --> 00:08:47,770
"I'll take always embarrassing
me for 500, Alex?"
188
00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:50,742
What have I ever done
to embarrass you?
189
00:08:50,762 --> 00:08:52,783
Oh, well, you,
you gotta few days?
190
00:08:53,804 --> 00:08:55,825
You really think we made it?
191
00:08:55,844 --> 00:08:58,695
Look, man, whether we did
or not, you hung in there.
192
00:08:58,715 --> 00:09:00,776
I'm proud of you.
193
00:09:00,797 --> 00:09:01,937
You're proud of me?
194
00:09:01,956 --> 00:09:05,688
You never said that to me
before in my life.
195
00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:07,839
Give me a hug.
196
00:09:07,859 --> 00:09:10,950
You see, man? That's exactly
why I never tell you
nothing.
197
00:09:16,953 --> 00:09:18,984
Go ahead. Go ahead. Go
ahead.
198
00:09:19,704 --> 00:09:20,955
Admit it, Will.
You care about me.
199
00:09:20,975 --> 00:09:23,776
I do not.
200
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,809
Yes, you do. You like me.
You like having me around.
201
00:09:26,828 --> 00:09:28,699
Carlton, take it back, man.
202
00:09:28,719 --> 00:09:30,809
Face it.
203
00:09:30,829 --> 00:09:32,900
Just got to face it.
204
00:09:32,921 --> 00:09:34,742
You love me.
205
00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:37,843
Alright,
that was a bad example.
206
00:09:37,863 --> 00:09:41,774
You're not so much
of an embarrassment.
207
00:09:41,795 --> 00:09:43,966
Apology accepted.
208
00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:47,907
Hey, come on.
See, man. Damn.
209
00:09:47,928 --> 00:09:49,879
[instrumental music]
210
00:09:50,930 --> 00:09:53,921
So, after careful consideration
211
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,832
we've decided not to sell.
212
00:09:55,851 --> 00:09:57,862
- Oh, daddy!
- Oh, man!
213
00:09:57,882 --> 00:10:00,963
When it came down to it we just
couldn't part with this place.
214
00:10:00,983 --> 00:10:02,864
I mean, in the final
analysis
215
00:10:02,884 --> 00:10:04,725
there are more important things
than money.
216
00:10:04,745 --> 00:10:05,935
Would everyone stop saying that?
217
00:10:05,956 --> 00:10:08,918
I'm getting a migraine!
218
00:10:08,938 --> 00:10:12,880
We got some baby tylenol
in the kitchen.
219
00:10:12,899 --> 00:10:15,880
[telephone ringing]
220
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,004
Hello. Ah! Ron!
221
00:10:18,024 --> 00:10:19,896
Yeah, I was just
going to call you.
222
00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:21,869
Uh, look, we've talked it over
223
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:24,929
and we've decided not to sell.
224
00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:27,053
No. I don't think there's
anything you could say to me
225
00:10:27,073 --> 00:10:29,961
that could change..
226
00:10:29,982 --> 00:10:32,035
What's that?
You're kidding.
227
00:10:32,056 --> 00:10:34,925
Could you hold on for a minute,
please? Thank you.
228
00:10:34,945 --> 00:10:36,968
Philip, what's going on?
229
00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:41,023
Ron said that his buyer is
willing to go $1 million
230
00:10:41,044 --> 00:10:43,016
above market value.
231
00:10:43,036 --> 00:10:46,026
- Whoa!
- Aah!
232
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,049
[screaming]
233
00:10:48,069 --> 00:10:50,978
Yes, there is a God!
234
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,991
Look at you all!
235
00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:56,212
Will, say something.
236
00:10:56,233 --> 00:10:58,226
Ching! Ching!
237
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,285
[indistinct chatter]
238
00:11:04,235 --> 00:11:06,218
Okay. Thank you very much.
Bye-bye.
239
00:11:06,238 --> 00:11:08,181
That was Ron.
The buyer is flying
240
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,247
this evening from New York.
241
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,331
[indistinct cheering]
242
00:11:11,351 --> 00:11:14,149
But I don't want to move!
243
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:17,180
Whoa! Whoa!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
244
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,377
Hey, girl.
245
00:11:18,396 --> 00:11:22,171
Ashley, this is $1 million here.
246
00:11:22,191 --> 00:11:25,321
Now listen, uncle Phil will put
that money in the bank, right
247
00:11:25,342 --> 00:11:28,271
and then start getting
all kinds of crazy interest.
248
00:11:28,292 --> 00:11:31,321
Then it's bonds,
then it's that T-bill stuff.
249
00:11:31,341 --> 00:11:32,448
And they got some certificates.
250
00:11:32,469 --> 00:11:34,422
And then-then,
then junk be compounding.
251
00:11:34,442 --> 00:11:38,307
- What are you talking about?
- I have no idea.
252
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,339
Money! Money! Money!
253
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,373
Is that all you people
care about?
254
00:11:42,393 --> 00:11:44,396
I've been very happy
in this house.
255
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:47,426
A lot of exciting things
have happened to me here.
256
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,519
Ashley, you're 15 years old.
257
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:52,529
How much excitement could
you
possibly have had?
258
00:11:52,550 --> 00:11:54,593
A lot more than you, Carlton.
259
00:11:56,504 --> 00:11:59,504
♪ Happy birthday ♪
260
00:11:59,524 --> 00:12:02,544
♪ Dear Ashley ♪
261
00:12:02,564 --> 00:12:06,489
♪ Happy birthday ♪
262
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:09,560
♪ To you ♪♪
263
00:12:16,576 --> 00:12:18,579
Happy birthday, Ashley.
264
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:25,786
I think I'd feel better
if I could kiss you.
265
00:12:29,701 --> 00:12:31,795
I'm sorry.
Is that terrible?
266
00:12:33,646 --> 00:12:35,659
No.
267
00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,719
Is it terrible that I want
to kiss you back?
268
00:12:45,927 --> 00:12:47,930
Can I blow in your ear?
269
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,026
Why?
270
00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:58,830
I don't know.
I heard Will say it.
271
00:12:58,851 --> 00:13:00,974
Oh.. Okay.
272
00:13:02,927 --> 00:13:03,984
[blowing]
273
00:13:05,996 --> 00:13:10,002
Hey, Ashley, you ain't tell me
that dude blew in your ear.
274
00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:12,881
Me, either.
275
00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:14,934
I, uh, embellished?
276
00:13:16,927 --> 00:13:19,977
Uncle Phil, I think you've more
than made your opinion known
277
00:13:19,998 --> 00:13:22,001
to Ashley and her boyfriends.
278
00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:24,185
- Who do we have here?
- We met at the mall.
279
00:13:24,205 --> 00:13:27,003
What's your name, son?
280
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,180
This.
281
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:34,150
This is a stick with a snake
wrapped around it.
282
00:13:34,169 --> 00:13:36,203
It's a symbol,
like prince.
283
00:13:36,224 --> 00:13:38,136
Prince who?
284
00:13:38,156 --> 00:13:41,297
See, that's exactly why fathers
ain't allowed at the mall.
285
00:13:49,398 --> 00:13:51,341
Uh, what's this thing?
286
00:13:51,362 --> 00:13:55,197
It's a symbol,
for "Get out of my house!"
287
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,314
So I lost my temper once.
Who hasn't?
288
00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:02,213
Excuse me. Once?
289
00:14:02,233 --> 00:14:04,253
Speaking as a lawyer, I can only
say, that your daughter
290
00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:06,255
suits the criminal profile
to a "T."
291
00:14:06,275 --> 00:14:08,245
Right down to the low,
sloping forehead
292
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:12,315
and the wide jaw suitable
for grains and small
rodents.
293
00:14:14,224 --> 00:14:16,364
I think you must have her
confused with your mama.
294
00:14:17,444 --> 00:14:20,195
I don't want you to move
out.
295
00:14:20,215 --> 00:14:22,175
Sorry, dad, I have to go.
296
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,265
- No, you don't.
- Will says I do.
297
00:14:24,286 --> 00:14:25,446
He says it's time
for me to leave the nest
298
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:29,195
become independent,
and have sex with girls.
299
00:14:30,266 --> 00:14:34,187
Safe sex, mind you,
but lots of it.
300
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,466
Excuse me!
301
00:14:36,186 --> 00:14:37,266
Is this what you've been
telling my boy..
302
00:14:37,287 --> 00:14:39,317
- What?
- That life is one big orgy?
303
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,256
College is hard work, son
304
00:14:41,277 --> 00:14:43,337
followed by a family which is
even more hard work.
305
00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:45,327
And a teenage daughter who
doesn't wanna be seen with
you
306
00:14:45,347 --> 00:14:47,437
in public and a wife, a wife
who won't let you anywhere
307
00:14:47,457 --> 00:14:50,377
near her and a butler,
a butler who may be the
father
308
00:14:50,398 --> 00:14:51,458
of your child!
309
00:14:52,178 --> 00:14:54,208
Dad! Dad!
310
00:15:03,348 --> 00:15:05,188
You big-eared freeloader!
311
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,448
You take your little
square-headed cousin here
312
00:15:06,468 --> 00:15:09,239
and find Geoffrey,
and you bring him back
313
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:10,440
or they'll
never find your bodies.
314
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:14,219
And I'm a judge.
I can make it happen.
315
00:15:15,459 --> 00:15:19,179
Alright, alright,
so I have an ugly side.
316
00:15:19,199 --> 00:15:21,369
And you could write
"Goodyear" on it.
317
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,181
The more I think about it,
I won't mind
318
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,330
saying goodbye to this place
at all.
319
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:29,340
I mean, I've experienced
the greatest tragedies
320
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,300
of my life here.
321
00:15:37,252 --> 00:15:40,202
Damn!
322
00:15:40,221 --> 00:15:42,191
'And-and I, I mean that'
323
00:15:42,211 --> 00:15:45,301
in the nicest possible way, Hil.
324
00:15:45,321 --> 00:15:48,242
[grunts]
325
00:15:48,263 --> 00:15:50,383
I look like a troll doll!
326
00:15:51,413 --> 00:15:54,433
Look! There he goes.
327
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,302
Hilary Banks..
328
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,452
Oh, yes, Trevor!
329
00:15:58,472 --> 00:16:01,403
(Trevor on TV)
'Will you marry me?'
330
00:16:01,424 --> 00:16:03,284
[splat]
331
00:16:25,365 --> 00:16:29,265
I ain't no bungee expert
or nothing
332
00:16:29,286 --> 00:16:31,196
but I don't think he's supposed
to be slamming
333
00:16:31,215 --> 00:16:32,265
into the ground like that.
334
00:16:32,286 --> 00:16:34,466
If I hadn't asked
for a special proposal
335
00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:37,296
Trevor would be in my arms
336
00:16:37,315 --> 00:16:40,196
instead of in my purse.
337
00:16:42,476 --> 00:16:44,396
I love you, Trevor.
338
00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:46,277
[sobbing]
339
00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:51,227
Um...Hilary
340
00:16:51,247 --> 00:16:53,247
Trevor wasn't cremated.
341
00:16:56,337 --> 00:16:59,217
Ew!
Then who's this?
342
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:05,389
I'll see him to the door,
Miss Hilary.
343
00:17:07,278 --> 00:17:10,348
I'm still not over
that hair thing.
344
00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:16,329
Geoffrey, we're gonna need
some more d'oeuvres tonight.
345
00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:17,390
What do we have in the house?
346
00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:20,320
Whatever he hasn't eaten.
347
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:24,440
Geoffrey, for once, could you
please cut the sarcasm?
348
00:17:24,459 --> 00:17:26,279
Sarcasm?
349
00:17:26,299 --> 00:17:28,470
Whatever do you mean?
350
00:17:29,191 --> 00:17:30,331
Geoffrey, go fetch my tools.
351
00:17:30,351 --> 00:17:32,411
You mean, your knife and fork?
352
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:37,250
Jazz, to what do we owe
your presence?
353
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,350
My guess would be
inbreeding.
354
00:17:40,401 --> 00:17:43,282
Sweetheart,
it hasn't been that long
355
00:17:43,301 --> 00:17:46,231
since we've made love,
has it?
356
00:17:46,251 --> 00:17:48,371
Five months this Tuesday.
357
00:17:50,261 --> 00:17:54,282
Why, that's just
good-natured ribbing, sir
358
00:17:54,302 --> 00:17:58,272
unlike those ruthless barbs
from Master William.
359
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,292
Me?
360
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:01,292
[snickers]
361
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:03,222
[humming]
362
00:18:09,384 --> 00:18:12,454
Earthquake!
363
00:18:12,473 --> 00:18:14,393
(Philip)
'Man changed my life.'
364
00:18:14,414 --> 00:18:16,384
Turned a skinny little kid
from South Carolina
365
00:18:16,404 --> 00:18:18,244
into the man you see
before you today.
366
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,354
And you know how?
He challenged me.
367
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:24,435
To what, a pie-eating contest?
368
00:18:24,454 --> 00:18:26,354
What is wrong with you people?
369
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:29,335
I weigh the same thing
I weighed in high school.
370
00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,465
Yeah, if you add up
all four years.
371
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:37,486
[laughing]
372
00:18:41,215 --> 00:18:43,465
Hey, hey, hey, man.
373
00:18:43,485 --> 00:18:48,216
Man, have I told you
how thin you looking lately?
374
00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:52,316
Well, no, especially
around your chins.
375
00:18:52,337 --> 00:18:55,277
I mean, um.. Damn.
376
00:18:55,296 --> 00:18:57,317
[instrumental music]
377
00:18:57,338 --> 00:18:58,458
[doorbell rings]
378
00:18:58,477 --> 00:19:00,277
That must be him.
379
00:19:00,297 --> 00:19:01,467
Now, we're doing the right
thing, aren't we?
380
00:19:01,487 --> 00:19:03,277
We should sell.
381
00:19:03,297 --> 00:19:05,307
Oh, my God.
She's buckling, dad!
382
00:19:05,328 --> 00:19:08,208
- Throw some cold water on her.
- Carlton!
383
00:19:08,227 --> 00:19:10,368
Of course we're doing
the right thing, sweetheart.
384
00:19:10,389 --> 00:19:13,279
Sir, it is my esteemed pleasure
385
00:19:13,298 --> 00:19:17,348
to introduce Mr.
and Mrs. Donald Trump.
386
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:26,329
It's the Donald! Oh, my God!
387
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:28,320
[grunts]
388
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:30,380
Mr. And Mrs. Trump,
it's an honor to
389
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,480
uh, to, um, to meet you.
390
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:40,270
Well, Ron said his client had a
rich uncle, but Donald Trump..
391
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:42,290
I like keeping a low profile.
392
00:19:43,371 --> 00:19:46,391
- Hi. Hilary Banks.
- Hi, Hilary.
393
00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:49,412
You know, you look
much richer in person.
394
00:19:52,301 --> 00:19:55,431
Hey, Mr. Trump. Hi.
How you doing? Will Smith.
395
00:19:55,452 --> 00:19:58,382
Listen, you are getting
a great house here
396
00:19:58,402 --> 00:20:02,303
and-and this is quite a deal
you're getting for it, too.
397
00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:04,202
Let me you what,
throw in another 50 grand
398
00:20:04,222 --> 00:20:07,362
I'll cut the grass for you
every Saturday.
399
00:20:07,383 --> 00:20:10,293
Look, folks,
before we go too far
400
00:20:10,312 --> 00:20:12,202
I've got something to tell you.
401
00:20:12,222 --> 00:20:15,343
Excuse me. But I've got
something to tell you first.
402
00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:17,454
Thank you for ruining
my life!
403
00:20:17,473 --> 00:20:21,253
- Ashley!
- What did you do?
404
00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:25,203
Everybody's always blaming me
for everything.
405
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:27,264
Come on, let's sit down
and sign some papers.
406
00:20:27,284 --> 00:20:31,204
Mr. Banks, there's been
a little mistake.
407
00:20:31,224 --> 00:20:35,444
Mr. Trump's nephew grew up
at 508 St. Cloud Road.
408
00:20:35,464 --> 00:20:40,455
And all this time, I thought our
address was 805 St. Cloud Road.
409
00:20:40,475 --> 00:20:43,305
It is, Hilary.
410
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,205
It's very embarrassing.
411
00:20:45,225 --> 00:20:46,345
Apparently,
I inverted the numbers.
412
00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:48,326
I don't know what to say,
except I'm sorry.
413
00:20:48,346 --> 00:20:51,257
That makes two of us.
414
00:20:51,276 --> 00:20:53,226
Well, that's business.
415
00:20:53,246 --> 00:20:54,376
Let's go down the street.
416
00:20:54,397 --> 00:20:57,317
I brought cash.
It's quicker.
417
00:20:57,337 --> 00:20:58,457
Nice meeting you all.
418
00:20:58,476 --> 00:21:01,466
It's just too much
of a fixer-upper.
419
00:21:03,378 --> 00:21:06,258
Vivian, Vivian, Vivian, Vivian.
420
00:21:06,277 --> 00:21:08,367
- No, no. No, no.
- What..
421
00:21:08,388 --> 00:21:10,258
What happened?
422
00:21:10,277 --> 00:21:12,307
Donald Trump walked in,
and you passed out.
423
00:21:12,327 --> 00:21:15,377
Donald? Where is he?
424
00:21:15,398 --> 00:21:18,439
He'll be the guy carrying
millions of dollars in cash.
425
00:21:18,459 --> 00:21:20,379
If you hurry up..
426
00:21:25,399 --> 00:21:29,280
Oh, well, I guess this
makes you very happy.
427
00:21:29,299 --> 00:21:32,229
And you are, too.
Come on, admit it.
428
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,379
Yes! We're staying!
429
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,380
Yes, you know,
it's probably for the best.
430
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,420
I guess deep down inside, none
of us really wanted to move.
431
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,401
[rumbling]
432
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:52,434
Of course I do hear Des Moines
is great this time of year.
433
00:21:52,455 --> 00:21:54,477
[instrumental music]
434
00:21:58,430 --> 00:21:59,481
(male #1)
'In five, four, three, two..'
435
00:21:59,502 --> 00:22:01,484
But it'll cut into
my trick or treat.
436
00:22:01,504 --> 00:22:03,658
[laughing]
437
00:22:03,677 --> 00:22:05,436
Here we go.
438
00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:07,570
But it'll cut into
my trick or treat.
439
00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:11,584
I'll just say my line
and go.
440
00:22:12,626 --> 00:22:13,759
[laughing]
441
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:19,622
(Director)
'I just won $1,000.'
442
00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:25,780
'In five, four, three, two..'
443
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,721
[laughing]
444
00:22:30,733 --> 00:22:32,735
It ain't me.
It ain't me.
445
00:22:32,756 --> 00:22:34,768
This is..
446
00:22:34,788 --> 00:22:35,950
I was here.
I was cool.
447
00:22:39,833 --> 00:22:42,856
(Carlton)
'I can't get it out.
I cannot get it out.'
448
00:22:42,876 --> 00:22:44,120
(Will)
'Come on, one more shot,
one more shot.'
32580
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