Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,866 --> 00:00:02,680
Hey, Uncle Phil, what's up, man?
2
00:00:02,699 --> 00:00:03,928
- Hey. Ha-ha-ha.
- Hey, what you looking at?
3
00:00:04,654 --> 00:00:05,853
There's some pictures of me
and Janice Robertson
4
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,707
from back in the day.
5
00:00:07,728 --> 00:00:10,882
Ah, here we are on campus
running from the National Guard.
6
00:00:10,902 --> 00:00:13,875
Man!She isfine!
7
00:00:14,892 --> 00:00:16,907
Ah, tell me about it.
8
00:00:16,928 --> 00:00:20,052
And, um...you're sure
that Aunt Viv is cool
9
00:00:20,777 --> 00:00:23,014
with your ex-girlfriend
coming to visit, huh?
10
00:00:23,034 --> 00:00:27,942
Oh, uh, actually, Janice was
never officially my girlfriend.
11
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:29,876
Not that I didn't try.
12
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,901
Man, oh, man, did I try.
13
00:00:31,922 --> 00:00:33,877
Flowers, poems, dinners.
14
00:00:33,897 --> 00:00:36,084
I must've sprung
for over 50 of 'em.
15
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:39,075
Well, maybe it would've worked
if you had taken her too.
16
00:00:41,030 --> 00:00:43,096
Sorry, it's just a little
collegiate humor, you know?
17
00:00:43,116 --> 00:00:46,058
Oh, God, you know what
it's like to really go after
18
00:00:46,078 --> 00:00:48,043
a woman and never get her?
19
00:00:48,065 --> 00:00:49,092
No.
20
00:00:51,027 --> 00:00:54,262
Well, finally after two
years,
I realized that Janice
21
00:00:54,281 --> 00:00:58,090
wasn't gonna have me,
so I settled for Vivian.
22
00:00:58,111 --> 00:01:00,257
Oh, no. With Vivian.
WithVivian.
23
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:04,137
Sweetheart, that came
out wrong. Honey, honey?
24
00:01:04,157 --> 00:01:05,346
(Philip)
Baby.
25
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:09,066
Geoffrey, prepare
Mr. Banks' couch.
26
00:01:09,086 --> 00:01:10,280
[theme song]
27
00:01:10,299 --> 00:01:13,013
♪ Now this is a story
all about ♪
28
00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:15,144
♪ How my life got flipped
turned upside down ♪
29
00:01:15,163 --> 00:01:17,215
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪
30
00:01:17,235 --> 00:01:19,021
♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪
31
00:01:19,042 --> 00:01:20,156
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
32
00:01:20,175 --> 00:01:23,155
[instrumental music]
33
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,848
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪
34
00:01:31,868 --> 00:01:34,710
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪
35
00:01:34,730 --> 00:01:35,983
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪
36
00:01:36,692 --> 00:01:38,804
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪
37
00:01:38,825 --> 00:01:41,686
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪
38
00:01:41,706 --> 00:01:43,610
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪
39
00:01:43,629 --> 00:01:45,790
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪
40
00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:48,573
♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪
41
00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,565
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪
42
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,747
♪ The license plate said Fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪
43
00:01:53,457 --> 00:01:55,440
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪
44
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:59,387
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
45
00:01:59,407 --> 00:02:02,357
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪
46
00:02:02,377 --> 00:02:04,498
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪
47
00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:07,290
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪
48
00:02:07,309 --> 00:02:09,490
♪ To sit on my throne
as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪♪
49
00:02:09,511 --> 00:02:13,191
[music continues]
50
00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:21,134
So what time is dad's old flame
supposed to be here?
51
00:02:21,153 --> 00:02:23,186
Carlton, she's not
daddy's old flame.
52
00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:25,370
They weren't even intimate.
53
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:28,131
Uncle Phil discussed that
with you?
54
00:02:28,152 --> 00:02:29,258
No, I heard him say
it in the hall
55
00:02:29,277 --> 00:02:31,341
after mom slammed
the door in his face.
56
00:02:31,362 --> 00:02:33,356
Geoffrey, where's my purple tie?
57
00:02:34,073 --> 00:02:37,074
It's in your tie drawer
next to the Pringles.
58
00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:40,284
At least that's better
than the Kit Kat
59
00:02:40,304 --> 00:02:42,138
he keep with his drawers.
60
00:02:46,086 --> 00:02:47,312
I have the greatest news.
61
00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:49,206
You know Al Riggins,
the talk show host?
62
00:02:49,225 --> 00:02:50,271
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
63
00:02:50,292 --> 00:02:52,037
Well, he's in a comma
and they want me
64
00:02:52,056 --> 00:02:53,272
to test as his replacement.
65
00:02:55,106 --> 00:02:58,147
My horoscope was right.
This is my lucky day.
66
00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:02,184
Hilary, aren't you even
a little concerned?
67
00:03:02,204 --> 00:03:04,018
Oh, I'm plenty concerned.
68
00:03:04,039 --> 00:03:06,212
My competition
is anchorwoman, Mara Lopez
69
00:03:06,231 --> 00:03:09,172
and you know how they favor
those minority people.
70
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:16,120
Maybe science can
just come get her brain now.
71
00:03:16,140 --> 00:03:18,084
Ashley, I need your help
in the kitchen.
72
00:03:18,105 --> 00:03:20,119
And, Geoffrey, will you please
set an extra place at the table
73
00:03:20,139 --> 00:03:23,169
Mr. Banks'friend
is bringing her daughter.
74
00:03:23,189 --> 00:03:26,090
Uh, Aunt Viv...ju-just curious.
75
00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:28,900
Um, wo-would this daughter
be more of a playmate
76
00:03:28,921 --> 00:03:33,885
for-for Baby Nicky, Ashley
or-or none of the above?
77
00:03:33,905 --> 00:03:36,019
- She's 18.
- Ah! Good answer.
78
00:03:36,038 --> 00:03:37,892
[exhales]
79
00:03:38,939 --> 00:03:40,025
Men!
80
00:03:42,119 --> 00:03:44,112
Hey, G, I gotta tell you,
man
81
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:46,944
if this girl is built
anything like her mother
82
00:03:46,964 --> 00:03:48,101
I might have to check
the premises
83
00:03:48,121 --> 00:03:49,935
you know what I'm saying?
84
00:03:49,955 --> 00:03:52,088
I might have to go see what
the foundation is like
85
00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:53,833
you know what I mean?
86
00:03:53,853 --> 00:03:55,089
Hold your permit, mister.
87
00:03:55,108 --> 00:03:57,809
What makes you think
the daughter's gonna opt for you
88
00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:59,974
when she can have me?
89
00:03:59,992 --> 00:04:03,830
Well, number one, 'cause I won't
be saying stuff like "Opt."
90
00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:08,905
Number two, 'cause Geoffrey
still has to cut up your food.
91
00:04:10,958 --> 00:04:14,896
Well, this $100 says..
92
00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:17,837
...that she goes out
with me...first.
93
00:04:19,901 --> 00:04:24,746
(Will)
Okay. Here's $50
and another $50.
94
00:04:24,766 --> 00:04:26,789
You're on,
and may the best man win.
95
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,885
- Ha.
- Me.
96
00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:30,796
[clears throat]
Might I get in on this?
97
00:04:37,974 --> 00:04:41,792
Sure things don't
come along every day.
98
00:04:41,811 --> 00:04:43,755
On Master William.
99
00:04:43,776 --> 00:04:44,922
Well, why would you pick him?
100
00:04:44,941 --> 00:04:47,723
Ah, with all due respect,
young sir
101
00:04:47,744 --> 00:04:50,894
I've seen you in action
with women and quite frankly
102
00:04:50,913 --> 00:04:52,687
you're an idiot.
103
00:04:53,764 --> 00:04:56,635
Fine. I got you both covered.
104
00:04:56,915 --> 00:04:59,716
So, how do I look?
105
00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:02,736
Like a man asking for
trouble.
106
00:05:03,654 --> 00:05:04,780
Oh, nonsense.
107
00:05:04,799 --> 00:05:06,823
Vivian and I had a long talk
about this yesterday.
108
00:05:06,844 --> 00:05:09,864
She is perfectly secure
with Janice's coming to visit.
109
00:05:10,582 --> 00:05:13,642
Hm, so, uh, what happened
to your nose, bro?
110
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:16,682
- Uh, oh, uh, this?
- Oh, oh, bo, bo, this.
111
00:05:16,702 --> 00:05:18,785
Well, I-I-I cut myself shaving.
112
00:05:18,806 --> 00:05:22,564
Oh, you were shaving
your nose? Okay.
113
00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:23,750
Now, was that before
or after you poured
114
00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:26,671
that bucket of cologne
on your head?
115
00:05:26,691 --> 00:05:28,805
You are reading way
too much into this, Will.
116
00:05:29,522 --> 00:05:31,556
This is just a little dinner
with an old friend.
117
00:05:31,576 --> 00:05:33,719
- Ah.
- Oh, that's her!
118
00:05:35,642 --> 00:05:36,649
[Geoffrey clears throat]
119
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,710
Mrs. Robertson
and her daughter, Wendy.
120
00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:43,628
(both)
Damn!
121
00:05:47,466 --> 00:05:49,472
So when my editor
decided to do a story
122
00:05:49,491 --> 00:05:52,611
on Post Earthquake Syndrome,
I jumped at the chance.
123
00:05:52,632 --> 00:05:55,571
I haven't seen Philip since
the Princeton Ten Year Reunion.
124
00:05:55,592 --> 00:05:58,692
[chuckles]
Remember we took over the
registrar's office in '69?
125
00:05:58,711 --> 00:06:03,516
Ooh, do I? My eyes are still
burning from the tear gas.
126
00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:07,569
Wendy, your mother looked
radiant even in a gas mask.
127
00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:09,777
Oh, Phil, please stop.
128
00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:13,599
Yes. Phil,pleasestop.
129
00:06:18,825 --> 00:06:20,681
Thank you, Geoffrey.
130
00:06:23,752 --> 00:06:25,648
So I'm at an antiwar
rally getting ready
131
00:06:25,667 --> 00:06:29,600
to burn my draft card
and Janice offers me a
light.
132
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:30,844
I am so against war.
133
00:06:30,864 --> 00:06:33,663
I mean, there's
death and destruction
134
00:06:33,683 --> 00:06:35,749
and they pre-empt
your favorite programs.
135
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,646
I remember doing
that desert storm thing.
136
00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:38,840
I was trying to find
"Knots Landing.."
137
00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:41,689
- Are those prunes?
- Yes.
138
00:06:41,709 --> 00:06:44,648
I have this theory
about regularity.
139
00:06:44,668 --> 00:06:46,825
Perhaps after dinner,
we can go for a drive
140
00:06:46,845 --> 00:06:48,781
and talk about it in depth.
141
00:06:50,808 --> 00:06:54,800
I'm telling you, G,
get down for another $100.
142
00:06:54,820 --> 00:06:55,904
You know, I was thinking
maybe we could
143
00:06:55,925 --> 00:06:57,801
take a walk on the beach, uh
144
00:06:57,820 --> 00:06:59,857
find a little club,
get our boogie on?
145
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,724
Oh, I love to dance.
146
00:07:01,744 --> 00:07:03,931
Hey, I can dance
better than Will any day.
147
00:07:07,773 --> 00:07:09,739
Don't keep her out
too late, Will.
148
00:07:09,758 --> 00:07:11,002
Well, she's in good
hands, Mrs. Robertson.
149
00:07:11,023 --> 00:07:13,862
Mm, I know she is.
150
00:07:16,028 --> 00:07:18,948
(Carlton)
'I said, I'll pay you
when I get out.'
151
00:07:21,768 --> 00:07:24,807
[instrumental music]
152
00:07:27,977 --> 00:07:29,893
I had a great time, Will.
153
00:07:29,914 --> 00:07:31,810
Where'd you learn
to dance like that?
154
00:07:31,829 --> 00:07:33,926
Oh, the Arthur Murray
Dance Studios.
155
00:07:33,946 --> 00:07:34,989
- Tango?
- Okay.
156
00:07:35,009 --> 00:07:38,069
♪ Drr-rin-din-din err-rin ♪♪
157
00:07:39,866 --> 00:07:40,939
[sighs]
158
00:07:43,939 --> 00:07:45,042
So, what's up for tomorrow?
159
00:07:45,062 --> 00:07:48,032
Oh, I'm seeing you again,
I hope.
160
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:51,873
Ah, who am I to crush
a young woman's dreams?
161
00:08:01,975 --> 00:08:04,965
Mm, too bad
your mom's in there.
162
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,944
Oh, we have separate rooms.
163
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,932
Well, then where were we?
164
00:08:13,935 --> 00:08:19,031
Will, I like you, but this is
going a little too fast for me.
165
00:08:19,963 --> 00:08:21,026
For real?
166
00:08:21,046 --> 00:08:24,006
Yeah, but I was
taking it slow, you know?
167
00:08:24,027 --> 00:08:27,127
No, no, that-that-that is
absolutely, absolutely perfect.
168
00:08:27,147 --> 00:08:29,033
- That's fine, that's fine.
- Okay. Okay.
169
00:08:29,052 --> 00:08:31,179
Well...it was fun.
170
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,270
You have a good night
and I'll see you tomorrow.
171
00:08:37,119 --> 00:08:39,025
- Goodnight, Will.
- Goodnight.
172
00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:41,121
Goodnight, baby.
173
00:08:47,251 --> 00:08:49,137
[sobs]
174
00:08:52,247 --> 00:08:54,153
Hey, Mrs. Robertson,
how you doin'?
175
00:08:54,173 --> 00:08:56,079
- Will.
- I just dropped Wendy off.
176
00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:57,352
Hey, you know, listen, she
was
begging me to come in
177
00:08:58,076 --> 00:09:01,116
I told her no,
I didn't think it was
proper.
178
00:09:01,135 --> 00:09:03,322
I am sure you're
the perfect gentleman.
179
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,289
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, goodnight.
180
00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:08,319
Oh, Will...um,
would you mind sharing
181
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,245
your earthquake
recollections with me?
182
00:09:10,264 --> 00:09:11,387
What, now?
183
00:09:11,407 --> 00:09:15,149
Uh, yes, I thought I might
as well get started tonight.
184
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,252
Sit down,
make yourself comfortable.
185
00:09:28,272 --> 00:09:30,339
I'm just gonna go
and freshen up.
186
00:09:33,348 --> 00:09:36,327
Hey, this is, this is
a nice room you got here!
187
00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:39,227
As far as rooms go.
188
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,443
A-ah!
189
00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:49,349
(Janice)
'So, how would you describe
the earthquake?'
190
00:09:49,369 --> 00:09:51,405
Oh, well, you know,
it was kinda like Shaq
191
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,492
picked up the pool house,
and he was shaking it, you know?
192
00:09:54,545 --> 00:09:57,415
Like them little snow globes.
193
00:09:57,435 --> 00:10:00,294
You know, then-then
I heard all this crying.
194
00:10:00,314 --> 00:10:01,488
(Janice)
'Was that Baby Nicky?'
195
00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:03,435
No-no, Baby Carlton.
196
00:10:05,512 --> 00:10:09,364
(Janice)
'He's not the most mature
young man, is he?'
197
00:10:09,384 --> 00:10:10,568
Well, he's kinda
like a ten-year-old
198
00:10:10,587 --> 00:10:13,336
trapped in a 12-year-old's body.
199
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:20,550
Well, goodnight!
200
00:10:20,570 --> 00:10:22,546
We barely scratched the surface.
201
00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:27,391
Um, listen, um..
202
00:10:27,411 --> 00:10:29,598
Uh, M-Mrs. Robertson,
I-I have to be honest.
203
00:10:29,619 --> 00:10:33,451
I'm, I'm, you know,
not really feeling right about
204
00:10:33,471 --> 00:10:37,564
being here with you in,
you know, that, that thing.
205
00:10:37,584 --> 00:10:40,443
- Is there a problem?
- Well, yeah.
206
00:10:40,462 --> 00:10:42,429
I mean, when-when a-when
a woman changes
207
00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:43,592
into something more comfortable
208
00:10:43,613 --> 00:10:47,646
it-it usually means she wanna
get more comfortable, you know?
209
00:10:47,666 --> 00:10:49,663
And frankly,
I'm a little uncomfortable
210
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:52,662
with this higher level
of comfort.
211
00:10:52,682 --> 00:10:54,709
Well, I've put on
a couple of pounds
212
00:10:54,728 --> 00:10:56,734
and my dress was too tight.
213
00:10:57,458 --> 00:10:58,601
There, are you happy?
214
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,660
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I was completely out of line.
215
00:11:04,681 --> 00:11:05,774
Listen, my uncle
has a fat problem
216
00:11:06,496 --> 00:11:07,659
I should be more sensitive.
217
00:11:10,690 --> 00:11:12,556
You are so cute.
218
00:11:13,649 --> 00:11:14,802
Uh, would you like
to see pictures
219
00:11:15,525 --> 00:11:17,601
of Wendy and Saint-Tropez?
220
00:11:17,622 --> 00:11:19,729
Huh? What?
Oh, yeah, pictures.
221
00:11:19,749 --> 00:11:22,538
Yeah, pict.. Yeah, pic..
Yeah, sure.
222
00:11:23,701 --> 00:11:25,597
[Will mumbling]
223
00:11:42,723 --> 00:11:44,669
Wow!
224
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,655
This is, this is nice.
225
00:11:46,674 --> 00:11:47,758
- Mm.
- This is, this is..
226
00:11:47,778 --> 00:11:50,787
- Oh, this is, this is nice.
- Uh-huh.
227
00:11:50,807 --> 00:11:53,817
Look how, look how
b-blue this water is.
228
00:11:55,693 --> 00:11:57,710
[screaming]
229
00:11:58,864 --> 00:11:59,867
What's wrong?
230
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,663
There's a picture
right there of you
231
00:12:01,682 --> 00:12:03,749
with no bathing suit top on.
232
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:06,910
It's Saint-Tropez.
Lots of women go topless.
233
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:07,923
Well, you know what?
234
00:12:07,942 --> 00:12:09,768
I'm gonna run down to the lobby
235
00:12:09,789 --> 00:12:11,846
get some of them
free brochures, you know
236
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,774
before a free brochure.
237
00:12:14,795 --> 00:12:15,849
(Janice)
'Will.'
238
00:12:17,754 --> 00:12:19,790
You're not going anywhere.
239
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:22,851
Okay.
240
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,784
[instrumental music]
241
00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:30,867
[instrumental music]
242
00:12:39,844 --> 00:12:41,961
- Will?
- Oh, my God, Uncle Phil!
243
00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:45,915
What are you doing
sleeping out here?
244
00:12:45,934 --> 00:12:48,091
Your Aunt Vivian thought
the couch was too good for me.
245
00:12:49,938 --> 00:12:51,924
You're just getting in?
246
00:12:51,944 --> 00:12:54,051
Look, just because a guy
comes in in the morning
247
00:12:54,071 --> 00:12:56,047
wearing the same thing
he had on the night before
248
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:59,027
that doesn't mean
he slept with anybody.
249
00:12:59,047 --> 00:13:00,963
Take it easy, I'm not
accusing you of anything.
250
00:13:00,982 --> 00:13:03,018
May-may-may-maybe we parked
and watched the sun come up.
251
00:13:03,039 --> 00:13:04,884
Alright.
252
00:13:04,904 --> 00:13:07,041
Or-or-or maybe we sat in the
lobby and talked all night.
253
00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:09,139
People do,dothat, you
know?
254
00:13:09,158 --> 00:13:11,054
I said, I believe you!
255
00:13:11,075 --> 00:13:12,139
Good.
256
00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:16,070
I-I didn't do nothing wrong.
257
00:13:16,091 --> 00:13:17,185
Well, tell me, did you get
to spend any time
258
00:13:17,907 --> 00:13:18,991
with Wendy's mother?
259
00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:21,940
No, no, no. They-they was in two
separate rooms.
260
00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:23,163
And I wasn't in
neither one of 'em.
261
00:13:23,183 --> 00:13:24,196
Oh, before she leaves,
you should try
262
00:13:24,216 --> 00:13:25,209
to spend some time with her.
263
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:27,086
She has a lot to offer.
264
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,203
More than you know.
265
00:13:31,222 --> 00:13:34,122
- What?
- I said I gotta go.
266
00:13:34,143 --> 00:13:35,983
(Carlton)
Well, well, well.
267
00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:39,112
And where have you
been all night, mister?
268
00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:42,193
I'm sorry, I only answer
to people over five feet.
269
00:13:51,184 --> 00:13:54,084
You're over five feet,
aren't you?
270
00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:56,963
[instrumental music]
271
00:13:58,953 --> 00:14:01,963
Oh, boy, that was a lot of fun.
I sure love those old movies.
272
00:14:01,983 --> 00:14:03,033
Oh, yeah.
273
00:14:03,054 --> 00:14:06,194
Cleopatra Jones is
a super ba-ad sister.
274
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,973
Hey, who do you think
would win in a street fight
275
00:14:08,993 --> 00:14:11,093
Cleopatra Jones
or Grace Jones?
276
00:14:11,113 --> 00:14:15,013
Oh, see, now you're getting
philosophical on me. Now,
see.
277
00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:16,144
See, now, Cleopatra Jones,
see
278
00:14:16,164 --> 00:14:18,094
she-she got that
karate stuff, right?
279
00:14:18,113 --> 00:14:19,993
She got some
sweet moves on her.
280
00:14:20,014 --> 00:14:21,124
Plus, she'd be packing heat.
281
00:14:21,144 --> 00:14:25,015
But Grace Jones,
she's just...scary.
282
00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:30,045
You've really been
thinking about this.
283
00:14:30,065 --> 00:14:33,145
Yup. Something else
I've been thinking about
too.
284
00:14:40,994 --> 00:14:43,164
- Am I intruding on anything?
- Aah!
285
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:48,085
Hey, Mrs. Robertson, hey.
286
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,094
What-what-what you doing here?
287
00:14:50,114 --> 00:14:53,154
Well, your uncle invited me over
for a little backyard barbecue.
288
00:14:53,175 --> 00:14:56,095
Yeah, well, yeah, we was about
to go get our eat on too. Yeah.
289
00:14:56,114 --> 00:14:59,055
- Come on, Wendy, let's go.
- Oh, I love barbecue.
290
00:14:59,075 --> 00:15:02,025
Well, help yourself, honey,
there's plenty of food.
291
00:15:02,046 --> 00:15:03,076
Okay.
292
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,115
Stop playing.
293
00:15:10,156 --> 00:15:15,146
Well, um...I think I'mma
go get me some ribs, you know
294
00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:18,146
'cause, you know, Uncle Phil
likes to eat while he cooks
295
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:20,216
and might not be nothing
left for nobody else
296
00:15:20,235 --> 00:15:22,135
you know what I'm sayin'?
297
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:29,185
Oh, Will, I didn't expect
to see you again sosoon.
298
00:15:29,205 --> 00:15:32,235
Listen, maybe I fell
for you last night..
299
00:15:32,955 --> 00:15:35,196
...but I'mnever
falling for you again.
300
00:15:35,216 --> 00:15:38,946
Relax, Will, you think I want
my daughter to find out?
301
00:15:39,197 --> 00:15:41,067
How would it make me look?
302
00:15:44,096 --> 00:15:45,106
Crazy.
303
00:15:49,236 --> 00:15:52,016
Boy, Wendy deserves
a lot better than Will.
304
00:15:52,037 --> 00:15:54,007
When I think how he conned
and finagled her
305
00:15:54,027 --> 00:15:56,007
into going out with him,
it makes me sick.
306
00:15:56,027 --> 00:15:58,957
At least,Ihad some
respect for her.
307
00:15:58,976 --> 00:16:01,146
Carlton, you bet $200 on her.
308
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:04,997
Hey,
that's a very respectable bet.
309
00:16:05,017 --> 00:16:10,978
Well, the secret to a successful
cookout is flame control.
310
00:16:10,997 --> 00:16:12,957
Remember the last barbecue
we were at?
311
00:16:12,977 --> 00:16:15,207
We were on the Jersey Shore
protesting that toxic dump.
312
00:16:15,227 --> 00:16:18,107
Oh, is that why that
chicken tasted so funny?
313
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:21,077
We formed a human chain and kept
the trucks out. Oh, remember?
314
00:16:21,097 --> 00:16:24,227
Of course I remember. You were
wearing that calico halter top.
315
00:16:24,948 --> 00:16:27,008
Ooh, you know, I still
have that halter top.
316
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,158
[chuckles]
317
00:16:30,227 --> 00:16:33,097
Philip, the fire's
gettin' a little too hot.
318
00:16:35,048 --> 00:16:36,218
Ah!
319
00:16:36,237 --> 00:16:39,107
There, that's better.
320
00:16:39,127 --> 00:16:41,987
Vivian, that was
extremely childish.
321
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:43,137
Childish?
322
00:16:43,158 --> 00:16:45,168
You're the one who's
gawking over this woman
323
00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:47,029
in our own backyard.
324
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,189
She is an old friend. You cannot
fault me for being friendly.
325
00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:53,118
Saint Bernards are friendly.
326
00:16:53,139 --> 00:16:56,069
But even they don't
slobber as much as you.
327
00:16:58,238 --> 00:17:00,988
Vivian, this is
such a beautiful home.
328
00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:03,138
You are a very lucky woman.
329
00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:06,089
Excuse me, I have to go
check on our baby.
330
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:10,148
Something I said?
331
00:17:10,169 --> 00:17:12,019
No, Vivian is just
a little uncomfortable
332
00:17:12,038 --> 00:17:13,138
with our friendship,
even though I told her
333
00:17:13,159 --> 00:17:16,089
nothing ever
happened between us.
334
00:17:16,109 --> 00:17:19,979
You know, that was
one of my biggest regrets.
335
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,128
Really?
336
00:17:21,149 --> 00:17:24,000
I guess back then
I just didn't appreciate
337
00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:25,949
the kind of man you are.
338
00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:27,179
Ha-ha, well..
339
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,980
You know, I would like to
take
you out to dinner tomorrow.
340
00:17:29,999 --> 00:17:32,029
You know, we go back
to New York the next day.
341
00:17:32,049 --> 00:17:33,989
Oh, uh, well, well, uh..
342
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:37,989
I appreciate that, but-but
Vivian's busy tomorrow night.
343
00:17:38,009 --> 00:17:42,049
Oh, well, then, how about
just the two of us?
344
00:17:42,069 --> 00:17:43,949
Oh, no, I don't think so.
345
00:17:43,969 --> 00:17:46,149
Well, it'll be more
business,
you know, than pleasure.
346
00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:48,210
You know, I need
more insight on my article.
347
00:17:48,229 --> 00:17:50,029
- Oh.
- Yeah.
348
00:17:50,049 --> 00:17:51,189
Well, I guess there's
no harm in that.
349
00:17:51,209 --> 00:17:54,159
Oh, good.
Say, uh, 8 o'clock?
350
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:56,150
Tomorrow?
My hotel? Dinner?
351
00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:58,001
Yeah, sounds fine.
352
00:17:58,020 --> 00:17:59,990
[laughs]
Hey, Uncle Phil.
353
00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:01,950
Hey, listen.
354
00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:04,220
Um, can I-can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a second?
355
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,160
- Will, I am cooking.
- Yeah, your goose.
356
00:18:06,181 --> 00:18:09,001
Can-can I see you
in the-in the..
357
00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,960
Ex-excuse us, Janice.
358
00:18:12,030 --> 00:18:14,110
[Will laughs]
359
00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:19,200
Uncle Phil, youcannotgo to the
hotel with that woman.
360
00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:21,020
It's just for a little
dinner.
361
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,150
Yeah, then dessert,
the likes of which even you
362
00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:25,231
ain't never seen.
Look, listen.
363
00:18:25,951 --> 00:18:31,061
Uncle Phil, Janice is the one
that-that got away, right?
364
00:18:31,081 --> 00:18:32,101
Yeah.
365
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:36,032
Well, she ain't
get away from me.
366
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,002
What?
367
00:18:39,021 --> 00:18:42,181
Uncle Phil, I was dropping Wendy
off back at the hotel, right?
368
00:18:42,202 --> 00:18:44,082
And-and then, you know,
I'm walking down the hall
369
00:18:44,102 --> 00:18:45,162
and then Mrs. Robertson comes up
370
00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:46,962
and she asking me
about the quake.
371
00:18:46,981 --> 00:18:48,111
So, I, you know,
I go in, I'm telling her
372
00:18:48,132 --> 00:18:50,962
and then she slips into
something more comfortable.
373
00:18:50,981 --> 00:18:52,021
And then she grab these pictures
374
00:18:52,041 --> 00:18:53,181
and she's showing
pictures of San..
375
00:18:53,202 --> 00:18:56,072
San something
and then, you know
376
00:18:56,092 --> 00:18:59,132
before I knew it,
you know, Ta-daow.
377
00:19:02,112 --> 00:19:04,042
Ta-daow?
378
00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:06,081
Ta-daow.
379
00:19:08,112 --> 00:19:10,173
Ta-a-d..
380
00:19:10,193 --> 00:19:12,953
Oh!Oh!
381
00:19:12,972 --> 00:19:14,202
You slept with Janice!
382
00:19:21,052 --> 00:19:23,042
Ashley, go to your room.
383
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,092
Oh, Ilovethis!
384
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,029
And take Carlton with you.
385
00:19:29,048 --> 00:19:30,161
Hey, I'm not going anywhere.
386
00:19:30,182 --> 00:19:32,108
You heard what I said.
387
00:19:34,125 --> 00:19:36,041
Mother, is this true?
388
00:19:38,999 --> 00:19:41,045
No, I can't believe
you did this.
389
00:19:41,065 --> 00:19:43,222
Oh and you, Will,
how could you?
390
00:19:43,243 --> 00:19:46,072
Listen, listen.
Now, I was..
391
00:19:46,091 --> 00:19:48,047
I was just, I was.. Earthquake.
392
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:50,304
And, you know,
and then we, and, and then, um..
393
00:19:51,027 --> 00:19:53,033
Have you ever seen
your mother naked?
394
00:19:54,247 --> 00:19:57,186
Will, you are just
really a class act.
395
00:19:57,206 --> 00:19:59,162
- But..
- Excuse me.
396
00:20:00,174 --> 00:20:02,221
Oh, yeah, go blame it on me!
397
00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:07,216
Janice, I think you
better leave.
398
00:20:07,237 --> 00:20:11,169
Vivian, this is not as big
as you're making it out to be.
399
00:20:11,188 --> 00:20:13,215
Maybe not inyourlittle world.
400
00:20:20,166 --> 00:20:22,172
[sighs]
401
00:20:22,192 --> 00:20:26,185
Too bad, Philip. We could
have
had something special.
402
00:20:27,408 --> 00:20:29,405
I have something special.
403
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,235
Bye, Mrs. Robertson.
404
00:20:46,487 --> 00:20:48,293
I've been such a fool.
405
00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:53,339
- Can you forgive me?
- I always do, don't I?
406
00:20:58,415 --> 00:21:01,294
You don't have to sleep
on the chaise lounge tonight.
407
00:21:01,313 --> 00:21:02,417
I don't?
408
00:21:02,438 --> 00:21:04,344
You can sleep on your couch.
409
00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:09,490
And have a talk
with this young man, please.
410
00:21:10,371 --> 00:21:11,415
[grunts]
411
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:19,480
Hey, Uncle Phil, man,
look, I'm-I'm 19-years-old
412
00:21:19,501 --> 00:21:21,326
and I'm gonna make
some mistakes.
413
00:21:21,345 --> 00:21:23,482
Yeah, I'm 45
and I make them too.
414
00:21:23,503 --> 00:21:25,609
The secret is
to learn from them.
415
00:21:27,545 --> 00:21:29,511
Yeah, you're right,
I learned my lesson.
416
00:21:29,532 --> 00:21:33,434
From now on, I'm only dating
girls with ugly moms.
417
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,637
I-I'm gonna go lay on my couch.
418
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:43,905
[instrumental music]
419
00:21:46,858 --> 00:21:47,900
(male #1)
'Four, three, two..'
420
00:21:47,921 --> 00:21:48,985
[clapping]
421
00:21:49,005 --> 00:21:51,122
Thank you. Thank you.
422
00:21:51,865 --> 00:21:53,011
Today, on our show
423
00:21:53,032 --> 00:21:56,037
women who hate men
and men who hate them back--
424
00:21:56,056 --> 00:21:57,264
Cut it!
425
00:21:57,286 --> 00:21:58,360
Great news, Hil.
426
00:21:59,102 --> 00:22:01,250
Al has completely
recovered from his coma.
427
00:22:01,270 --> 00:22:03,253
So, I guess you're not
gonna be needed.
428
00:22:03,273 --> 00:22:06,495
Al, Al, Al. Doesn't anybody
care about my needs?
429
00:22:06,516 --> 00:22:08,561
Do you have any idea how
much
this outfit cost me?
430
00:22:08,581 --> 00:22:09,666
And you know that
statute is not up yet
431
00:22:09,685 --> 00:22:11,595
on that sexual
harassment case--
432
00:22:11,617 --> 00:22:13,682
- You wouldn't dare.
- Oh, don't think I won't--
433
00:22:13,703 --> 00:22:14,869
You wouldn't dare.
434
00:22:15,613 --> 00:22:17,853
I went through so much
to come on here and do this
435
00:22:17,874 --> 00:22:20,961
and I studied and I caught
up
on everything.
436
00:22:20,982 --> 00:22:22,045
I'm perfect for the talk
show!
437
00:22:22,066 --> 00:22:24,069
I am the producer
of this show.
438
00:22:24,090 --> 00:22:25,194
I suppose you're gonna bring
our ratings up
439
00:22:25,938 --> 00:22:27,115
on a sexual harassment suit
too?
440
00:22:27,136 --> 00:22:30,161
Well, you won't
get away with it!
33113
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof