All language subtitles for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air S04E14 WEB [1080p].en

[saxophone music]

Why don't you put that down
and come sit next to me.

[music continues]

- How's that? Everything cool?
- Great.

- It worked?
- Perfect, Branford. Yeah.

Good, I'm glad you liked it.

So, Will,
I'm off like a dirty shirt.

Hey, peace with
two fingers, man.

Give J some for me, alright?

There's definitely some
perks to working for NBC.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life got
flipped turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take
a minute just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how
I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin'all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪Ilooked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

I call the couch
in the living room.

No, look.
I'm sleeping on the couch.

You can sleep under
the couch, you squidget.

(Carlton)
No..

- I'm sleeping on the couch.
- I said no.

Oh, grow up, you two.

I can't believe you're staying
here to begin with.

Imagine, calling an exterminator

for a few harmless
little crickets.

Supposed to be soothing,
for God's sake.

Whoa-whoa, no-no, Uncle Phil. I
don't think you understand, man.

Now, these ain't
them cute little

Jiminy-Wish-Upon-A-Star-type
crickets.

No, man, these are these big,
mean, nasty, bug-eyed, you know

take-over-the-human-race
kinda
crickets, man.

You can borrow my makeup,
the key is subtlety.

You want your date to think
you stepped out of "Vogue"

not a clown car.

Date?

Tonight's the night I go to the
movies with Randy, remember?

Randy? Randy who?

Why wasn't
I consulted about this?

Oh, Philip, stop pretending you
don't know anything about it.

You already gave permission.

You cannot keep little
girls from growing up.

I can and I will.

Ashley, come here.

Look, now, seeing as how
this is your first real date

you know, I think there's like
some couple of things

you need to know.

Now, listen, if you're
gonna hold the popcorn

make sure you hold it up
in plain sight.

So when he go reaching
for the bucket, he don't miss.

Talking about,"Oops."

Alright,
you stop at a gas station

and make sure that tank is full.

And if he tells you to pull
his finger, don't do it.

Oh, man.

Thanks, but it's just
a little innocent date.

Nothing's gonna happen.

Oh, you're right,
nothing's gonna happen

because I want you
back here at 9:30.

But the movie doesn't
even end until 10:00.

Well, you can catch the end
of
it when it comes out on
video.

- Daddy!
- Ashley, be back by 10:30.

10:30 on the dot.

Not 10:31 and that's
in this house.

'Not on the porch,
not parked out in the driveway.'

Now, if you'll excuse me

I'm gonna go check the video
camera over the front door.

Daddy never gave
Hilary a curfew.

Well, he's probably hoping
she wouldn't come back.

Oh, that reminds me,
I'm gonna be out late
tonight.

I'm shooting a commercial
for Casual Cup Coffee.

That's great.
How'd you get it?

Well, the director said
I reminded him of the
coffee.

Oh, yeah, he probably
thought
you was hot, creamy and
rich.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

[chuckles]

I was pretty sure
I wasn't mountain-grown.

Check please.

I guess that leaves the
house to just you and me, Will.

I could write my paper

while you study for your
chemistry midterm.

It'll be nice and quiet.
We can clear tables

just like the study center.

Hey, you know what, man?

I know how we can make it
even
more like the study center.

I won't be here.

Yo, I'm about to go run some
ball. I'll get with y'all later.

But you told me you
haven't studied yet.

I haven't. Look, Carlton,
I'm the king of cram, man.

All I need is three
solid hours and I'm cool.

W-W-Will, let me tell you
a little story about

the grasshopper and the ant.

Carlton, I really don't feel
like hearing about

you and your
little friends, okay?

Just listen.

See, the grasshopper goofed off

while the ant worked hard
storing up food for the winter.

When the winter came,
the ant had food

but the grasshopper
starved to death.

You know what the moral
of the story is?

Yup, even if we were
insects,
I'd be bigger than you.

[exclaims]

[instrumental music]

All hail! The King of Cram
is about to take his throne!

[laughs]

This is really sad, Will.

It's 10:30, you're just now
cracking open that book.

No. That's not true.

Now, I cracked it earlier
when I had to write down

this honey's phone number right
next to the periodic table.

Hey, you wanna hear
a little chemistry rhyme?

- No, not really.
- Here.

♪ Little Timmy took a drink
but he will drink no more ♪

♪ For what he thought
was H2O Was H2SO4 ♪♪

That's how I remember the
equation for sulfuric acid.

Oh, look, look, look.
I got one. I got one.

♪ Little Carlton was a boy ♪

♪ Whose body was short
and stumpy ♪

♪ He never shut his mouth ♪

♪ So I kicked his little
rumpy ♪♪

[bones cracking]

[sighs]

[bones cracking]

- Uh, are you quite finished?
- 'Ah, yup. All ready.'

[sighs]

[tapping on glass]

Hey, Carl, Carl,
that's-that'sreallyannoying.

Oh, sorry, nervous habit.

[crunching]

Sorry, nervous habit.

Fool.

[baby crying]

I am so sorry, Geoffrey,
but if I put him down

he cries even harder.

So would you mind
making up some more formula?

Mind? Madam, you woke me
from a most marvelous dream.

I haven't had one
this good since

I was strip searched
at Dulles Airport.

[baby crying]

"Welcome to the exciting
world of chemistry."

Ah!

Honey, could you hold
Nicky just a second?

Wait, Aunt Viv, come on, I..

He stopped.

Well, these fingers
can work magic.

Ain't that what the honeys tell
me, huh? Huh?

Okay, it's 10:37.
I'm calling the police.

Philip, the police don't
need your hysterical calls

cluttering up
their phone lines.

They've got to catch
real criminals.

Hmm, like the murderous
muggers and thugs

that hang around movie
theaters after hours, huh?

She's at the mall. She's
not at the Pussycat Theater.

I've never seen a mugger
at the Pussycat Theater.

[phone rings]

- Hello.
- 'Hi, Mr. Banks.'

Can I speak to Ashley?

'Oh, no.
She's not home from her date.'

- 'She was supposed to be..'
- Daddy, I got it.

Ashley, sweetheart,
where are you?

I'm upstairs in my room.
I got home 20 minutes ago.

Come on, hang up, I wanna
talk to Connie about my
date.

I'll tell you about it tomorrow.

Oh, alright,
sweetheart. Goodnight.

This is too easy.

[both laugh]

You ready?

Don't I feel like an idiot?

[Philip chuckles]

Ashley got home
20 minutes ago.

She's upstairs
talking on the phone.

Oh, really?

[sighs]
That's a load off my mind.

I think I'll go to bed.

- Goodnight, Geoffrey.
- Goodnight, sir. Idiot.

Maybe you can hold to Nicky
till he falls asleep.

Well, no. No. Aunt Viv. Listen,
I can't. I have to study.

You can't study
if the baby is crying.

It shouldn't take long.
He hasn't slept all day.

Alright.

(Will)
'You are getting sleepy.'

Very, very sleepy.

Your eyelids are
getting heavier.

Your little head is
drooping.

Hi, I'm back.

[Nicky crying]

Maybe we should just try
a bottle and a warm bath.

Thought you'd never ask.

The coffee commercial
went great.

First, I take a big sip
of coffee and then I say

"Hi, I'm Hilary Banks,
TV weather girl.

"When I don't have my head
in the clouds

"I like to relax with a nice hot
cup of Casual Cup Coffee.

"So rich and fine,
tastes just like

you've ground the beans
yourself."

Well, the first take I said

"Tastes just like you found the
beans yourself."

- Oh!
- So we did it again.

And the next take I said

"When I don't have my head in
the crowds." So I did it again.

H-Hilary. Hilary, uh,
how many takes did you do?

Only 41. And you'd think
that would tire me out.

But I'm more awake now
than when I started.

Um, stupid question

did you forget to spit
after each take?

Why would I want to spit it out?
I'm nuts about coffee.

Although it's not made from
nuts, it's made from beans.

So, I guess,
I'm beans about coffee.

Oh, gee, I'd love to stay
and continue

this fascinating monologue

but I have to get
some studying done.

You know, I've always wondered
if coffee's made from beans

does that make it a vegetable?

Why are you following me?

Listen, don't you have to go to
work in the morning?

Shouldn't you go get some sleep?

I would love to go to sleep, but
I can't. I'm wide awake. See?

Whee-e-e!

Hil, why don't you try
doing something boring

like reading the dictionary?

- Do you have one?
- Of course, I do.

What do you think is propping
up my makeup table?

Whe-e-e!

[imitating Hilary]
Whe-e-e!

Finally!

[cricket chirping]

Ugh!

[cricket chirping]

[grunting]

[grunts]

Carlton,
I need your earplugs, man.

- Hey!
- Look, come on, man.

Listen, I can't concentrate.

I read that same sentence
like two million times.

I-if this test covers more than

"Welcome to the exciting
world
of chemistry," I'm done.

Well, maybe next time

you should make a promise
to yourself

not to put things off
until the last minute.

You know what?
You're right, man.

And I've been wanting to
squeeze your peezy little head

like a grape all day long and
now is as good a time as any.

Give me those earplugs.
Give me your earplugs, man.

Hey, I'm not sharing
anything with you, mister.

Who knows where
those ears have been?

Alright. That's it.
That's it. Come here. Come here.

Get over here.
Get over here. Get over..

Oh!

(Will)
'Time-out. Ashley's home.'

Ashley? I thought she was
supposed to be upstairs in bed.

Yeah, you also thought Tupac
Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

Why is everybody still up?

You know, you're making it very
difficult for me to sneak in.

Ashley, evenyoushould know
if you're trying to get past

Uncle Phil, you don't
go through the kitchen.

- I guess I have a lot to learn.
- No, you learn too much.

Now what you're doing trying to
run my phone scam for anyway?

- Well, it worked.
- That's not the point.

Look, the point is,
you don't realize

the dangers that
are lurking out there.

Look, Ashley, listen.
Guys are only after two things.

I thought they were
only after one thing.

Well, yeah, but they
wanna do it more than once.

(Philip)
'That noise
is driving me crazy!'

Daddy's up!

Um, uh, get down,
hide, hide. Get down.

[Philip sighs]
I can't stand all that chirping.

Geoffrey! Geoffrey!

You rang?

Where did you last
put the insecticide?

In your soup.

Boy, you're a Grumpy Gus.

I was having the most
wonderful dream.

Amazon women had just
bound me with sinuous vines

and were taunting
me with tangelos.

What the hell is a tangelo?

"Tangelo, the fruit of a hybrid
citrus tree that is a cross

between certain varieties
of grapefruit and tangerine."

- Thank you.
- No, thank you!

I never knew how much fun
I could have

just reading the dictionary.

I mean, it's filled with
all kinds of words.

Big words, little words,
abbreviations, common phrases.

Can I look up a word for you?

- Go away.
- Oh, that's two words.

This oughta take care
of that little sucker.

Sir, that's air freshener.

Well, it's all we have.
It might work.

Yes, perhaps the scent
of sea breeze will recall

some painful memory for him
and then he'll commit suicide.

Quick, get in here!

You were lucky
Uncle Phil didn't catch you.

Well, there's still time.

What's that supposed to mean?

Remember last year
when I skipped school

so I could preregister
for jury duty?

And a little
somebody snitched on me?

Well, missy, the tables
have finally turned.

Oh, Carl, you evil man.

Please, Carlton, don't tell.
I'll do anything.

I'll clean your room. I'll
polish your Star Trek figurines.

(Philip)
'Oh, now it's coming
from the kitchen.'

Get down, get down!

Oh! That cricket!

Sounds like it's coming from
two places at once.

Must be the ventriloquist
of the animal kingdom.

You know, dad,
I think it's coming from

this side of the counter.

No-no, you know, Uncle Phil

I think he's over here,
the sneaky little bugger.

I was right the first time.

It's coming from the family
room. Come on, Geoffrey.

I'll hunt down that cricket
if it's the last thing I do.

His head will make
a fine trophy, sir.

Carlton, you stink.

Listen,
you just go head outside.

I'mma go upstairs, get your
pajamas. You can put them on

and pretend
you just came down for a snack.

By God, that bug isn't
gonna get the best of me.

Now I know how Captain Ahab felt

when he was chasing Moby Dick.

Between the two of you,
the cricket is the whale?

Geoffrey, how would you
like to be unemployed?

- What do you mean?
- "Unemployed."

"Out of work,
jobless, not being used. Idle.

A person who
does not have a job."

See, the answers are
right at your fingertips.

- Here, put those on.
- Okay.

[sighs]

Oh, man, I don't believe this.

- Oh, my God, it's 1:30.
- That's true.

And it's a shame you always have
to learn the hard way, Will.

As for me,
I'm just finishing my paper.

(Philips)
'I can't stand it anymore.'

This chirping is boring
a hole straight into my skull!

There she blows, captain.
By the table! By the table!

[Carlton screaming]

I got him.

I killed that little sucker.

[laughs]

[cricket chirping]

Philip, stop charging
about like a rogue elephant.

You're lucky you
didn't wake Nicky up.

My paper.

Thirty pages of genius gone.

Oh, well, I guess sometimes
that little hardworking head

just gets squished into
a little black spot, huh?

[laughs]
That's funny. Hey, listen,
you did all this hard work

I didn't do anything and
we're
both in the same boat.

[laughs]

Except that
my paper was optional.

Optional?

Hey, I was only doing it to get
in good with the professor.

Oh, well, I guess I'll just
have to bring him some cupcakes.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

This is Philip Banks.

Well, no, I haven't seen Randy.

And-and Ashley's been
home since 10:30.

Well, I'll call you back
if she knows anything.

Well, that was Randy's father.

Apparently, Randy decided
to go somewhere else

after dropping Ashley off.

Thank God I have
a responsible child.

[screams]
Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, man.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna go ask Ashley if
she knows where Randy went.

Oh, man, you-you're not
gonna just-just go up there

and wake her up, are you?

I mean, she-she-she could
already have morning breath.

- Will, please.
- Oh.

Randy's father has
a very serious problem.

If Ashley did something
like that, I'd throttle her.

No, no, no. Throttling is-isn't

anything like-like killing,
is it?

Not exactly. The second
definition of throttle is

"To strangle, choke. Killing
is the result of throttling."

Either way, I think we're
about to see a demonstration.

- Ashley's not in her room!
- I'm right here, daddy.

I was just in the kitchen
getting a snack.

We were just in the kitchen.

I mean, the kitchen
in the pool house.

The pool house
is being fumigated.

Oh, where am I?

What am I doing down here?

I must have been sleepwalking.

- I better go back to my room.
- Ashley.

You've already lied
once tonight.

Let's not make it a habit.

Oh! Daddy, none of my other
friends had a curfew.

If I came home at 10:30

everyone would
think I was a baby.

You have to realize
that I'm growing up.

Sweetheart, I am your
father.
It is my job to protect you.

It's a job I refuse to quit and
at which I can't afford to fail.

I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

Of course, you won't,
sweetheart.

Because you're
grounded for ten years.

Ten years?

Or whenever you move out of
the house. Whatever comes first.

Oh, but that's not fair.

Tell that to the judge.

Oh, that's me.

[squishes]

I killed the cricket.

Oh, what a horrible death.

But, daddy,
you can't do that to me.

- Watch me.
- 'But no.'

Ding-dong. The cricket's
dead. Ashley's grounded.

Now y'all go to bed.

Will, the house is all
yours. Come on, guys.

[sighs]

"Welcome to the exciting
world of chemistry."

Come on, daddy, ten years?

The Menendez brothers
will be free before I am.

The Menendez brothers
got home on time.

- Will, wake up.
- Mm.

Welcome to the exciting world
of chemistry.

Will, it's 8 o'clock.

You don't have much time to
get changed and get to
school.

Oh, man.

I never even
got past the first page.

Oh, what are you gonna do?

Carlton, I'm gonna fail.

Hate to say I told you so.

So, how did the test go, Will?

I got an 85.

[chuckles]

What? But you didn't even study.

How could you have possibly
learned everything

you had to know about chemistry?

Well, the only chemistry
I needed was between me

and the honey in the next seat.
You know what I mean? Hah!

You have a good winter.

Wait a second, Will.

You're not really gonna let
people think you cheated?

Yeah, I know. I know. You're,
you're right. You're right.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

So how did the test go, Will?

I failed.

See, Will, you can't put
studying off to the last minute.

I know, I know, you're
right. You know what?

I'm gonna run down to the
library right now

and I'm not leaving until
I learn everything there is

to know about chemistry.

Now that's the spirit.

Hi, I'm Hilary Banks,
TV weather girl.

When I don't have my head
in the clouds

I like to relax
with a nice hot cup of..

- I'm sorry, hot cup of?
- 'Bit over the top.'

Well, at first I said..

Ah, shoot. Damn it.

- And then what did you say?
- I forgot.

In the next take I said,
"When I don't have my.."

Oh, shoot, shoot, shoot.

- And the next take I said..
- Hil-Hil-Hilary.

Uh, how many takes did you do?

Only 41. And you'd think
that would tire me out.

But I'm more awake now
than when we started.

[indistinct chatter]

(Hilary)
'I'm gonna pass out you know.'