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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,480 This was a mistake. Shut up. Pardon? HORN BEEPS 2 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:10,320 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,360 Ooh. 4 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:15,680 You're mad. 5 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,080 Wow. 6 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,760 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 7 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:40,800 Hello! Welcome, welcome to Taskmaster. 8 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:45,000 I'm Greg Davies, and for a man my age, I'm as fly as they come. 9 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,400 LAUGHTER 10 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,800 We're at the penultimate stage of a competition 11 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,320 that will go down in history 12 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,120 as being so unimportant that I doubt any of us that are involved 13 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,720 will even have marked graves. 14 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,080 That said... LAUGHTER 15 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,200 ..we're here now, so let's make an effort. 16 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:10,200 Battling hard for Britain's hollowest prize are... 17 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,680 ..Fatiha El-Ghorri! CHEERING 18 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,080 Jason Mantzoukas! CHEERING 19 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,600 Mathew Baynton! CHEERING 20 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,000 Rosie Ramsey! CHEERING 21 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,720 And Stevie Martin! CHEERING 22 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,440 And next to me, a man that went to private school 23 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,840 and genuinely doesn't like people knowing that. 24 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,880 LAUGHTER 25 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,400 It's Little Alex Horne! 26 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,000 Well, it wasn't... It wasn't my choice. 27 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,640 It wasn't my choice. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 28 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,560 Hi. Hello, Greg. Hi, there. Mm. 29 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,680 Feeling good? Yeah. Penultimate show, 30 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,640 so I imagine you've prepared something pretty special 31 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:45,960 for our chat section. 32 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,440 Well, I just thought I'd tell you about my latest routine. 33 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,000 I've been going to the gym three times a week. 34 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,600 MUTTERS: Ah. God. 35 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,640 LAUGHTER 36 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,160 What is it? Let me guess. 37 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,480 You know a man called Jim? 38 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,000 Yeah, exactly that. Yeah. Yeah. LAUGHTER 39 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,640 Well, as soon as I said 'the gym,' you knew I was gonna say Jim, 40 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:02,800 so that's... I did, but... 41 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,480 JASON: We all did. Yeah? Yeah. 42 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,480 We know you don't go to the gym. Look at your body. 43 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,720 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's horrible. 44 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,600 It's in active collapse. 45 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,320 Yeah. Yeah. It's horrible. Floppy. LAUGHTER 46 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,240 It's so white, as well. It's so pale. Pale, very pale, yeah. Yeah. 47 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000 LAUGHTER 48 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,600 OK, let's prize task, shall we? 49 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,720 Yes, time to crack on and see what they've brought in 50 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,840 for the category I'm about to think out loud, which is... 51 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:34,800 "..the most satisfying thing you could use as a jelly mould." 52 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,840 Yes. LAUGHTER 53 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,440 Greggy likes his jelly, Alex likes his jelly, 54 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,800 and Alex likes his Greggy in his Greggy jelly belly. 55 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,920 That's right. LAUGHTER 56 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,280 At the end of this episode, 57 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,720 one lucky winner... JASON RETCHES 58 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,560 ..will genuinely walk away with five prospective jelly moulds. 59 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,200 Can I get a whoop-whoop? Thank you. 60 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,520 AUDIENCE WHOOPS Well done. 61 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,360 The first poem to ever make me feel physically sick. 62 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,800 Jason. I think it's pretty self-explanatory. 63 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,160 The best mould would be this. 64 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,440 LAUGHTER 65 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:06,760 Does that remind you of anything? 66 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,360 You know, it occurs to me it might be hard to figure out what it is 67 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:13,560 based on that, so I had them make a jelly from the mould. 68 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,680 Can we look at that, please? Yes, so that... 69 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,760 That is the real jelly. ROSIE: Ooh. 70 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,080 Italian boobs? It's not Italian boobs in the end. 71 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,000 Those are Irish... ROSIE: Irish? STEVIE: Irish boobs. 72 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,360 When Irish boobs are smiling. 73 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,240 Now, my question for you, Greg, is, whose boobs are those? 74 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,640 Your mam's. 75 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,000 LAUGHTER 76 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,400 Are you saying that these boobs belong to someone we might know? 77 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,400 Ooh. So it's an Irish person. 78 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,040 The Corrs? The Corrs. LAUGHTER 79 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,040 I don't... I don't even know who that is. 80 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,440 Aisling Bea. 81 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,040 Show me Aisling Bea! Yeah, yeah. 82 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,520 There we go, it's hers. 83 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,440 APPLAUSE FATIHA AND ROSIE:Wow. 84 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,640 STEVIE: Good boobs. ROSIE: They're good. 85 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,120 I texted her, I said, "This is the task prize, 86 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,520 would you be willing to get a plaster mould of your boobs done?" 87 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,920 She said, "Absolutely. When and where?" 88 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,760 No question, straight in? Zero. Zero questions. 89 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,640 Good. Thanks for bringing Aisling Bea's jelly tits. 90 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,880 Who's next? LAUGHTER 91 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,080 Stevie? 92 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,960 Um, very different approach. 93 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,200 So I'm gonna set the scene. OK. 94 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,640 I'm having a party. It's my party, you're there. 95 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,040 And we've had the savoury bits, the nibbles, 96 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,840 and then I'm like, "Do you want some jelly?" 97 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,280 And you're like, "Yeah, but I don't know what sort of flavour." 98 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,480 I, quick as a flash, spoon from behind the ear 99 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:31,680 hand you a spoon, 100 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,680 hand goes back to just an unobtrusive chest of drawers. 101 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,240 Open the top drawer, full of jelly. 102 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,240 Here it is. Three different flavours. 103 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,160 Yeah, it's a chest of drawers. 104 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,960 Right. You wouldn't expect it. 105 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,240 LAUGHTER 106 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,760 What, a drawer full of jelly? Yeah! 107 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,560 I don't want a drawer full... That's a great party. 108 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,160 You'd be talking about that for ages after you'd been to that party. 109 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,960 Yeah, I'd be talking about your mental health, yeah. 110 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,080 Yeah. 111 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,840 Um, Mathew, what have you brought? 112 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,320 Uh, it's a paddling pool. 113 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,120 Yes, it is. There it is. STEVIE: That's good. 114 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,240 LAUGHTER Uh, I just thought... 115 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,800 Pop that next to drawers in the list. Yeah. 116 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,480 It is cool, you get 255 cubic litres of jelly, so volume-wise... 117 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,120 You'd be pretty satisfied if you made that much jelly. 118 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,960 Maybe too satisfied. Yeah, yeah. It'd be a... 119 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,720 Yeah, I mean it'd be a big jelly. Rosie. 120 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,280 I brought me air fryer drawers. 121 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,040 Yes, she has. 122 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,120 Yeah, there you go. Perfect size. 123 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,680 Still drawers, though, innit? Yeah, but removable. 124 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,960 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 125 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,760 Smaller drawers. Yeah. 126 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,040 Yeah, cos that's too much and you're never gonna set it. 127 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,560 I can take them from the utility room, take them out, 128 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,560 put them in the fridge, wibble, wobble, wibble. 129 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,840 They'll come out lush and smooth cos it's, like, great, 130 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,000 like, non-stick...metal. 131 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,720 What you looking at us like that for? 132 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,560 Absolutely shit. 133 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,600 LAUGHTER 134 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,760 Fatiha. So, the thing that I brought... 135 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,880 Hey, can we just show it? Yes. That all right? And then I'll... 136 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,480 You don't wanna give me some sort of build up? 137 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,560 Nah, cos when you see it you're gonna be like, "Wicked." 138 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,960 She has brought...this. 139 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 It's... AUDIENCE GROANING 140 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,160 It's a foot. 141 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,000 Like, people like feets, innit? 142 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,360 No. Not really. 143 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,800 No, no-one wants to eat a jelly in the shape of a foot, Fatiha. 144 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:13,440 Yeah, they do. Do you know how much someone would pay for me 145 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,240 to make a real one of those? 146 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,640 I could buy a house. LAUGHTER 147 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,240 We're currently witnessing a Reddit forum being created. 148 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,480 I've made my decision. You've made your decision? 149 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,920 Mine can do three meals. 150 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,160 Pardon? 151 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,400 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE God. 152 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,560 Mine can do, like, the starter, the main and then the dessert. 153 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,280 Yes. Oh, my god, I'm so sustainable. 154 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,480 Yeah, you are. 155 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,920 If only the task had been bring something in 156 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,720 that you can cook a three-course meal in. 157 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,520 Satisfying, though, innit? 158 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,200 No, it isn't, Rosie. 159 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,040 And you'll thank me for your one point. 160 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,240 ROSIE MOUTHS SILENTLY LAUGHTER 161 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,560 STEVIE GASPS Fuck. 162 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,160 LAUGHTER 163 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,880 One point to Rosie Ramsey. Well done, Rosie. 164 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,560 Foot, two. Two points to Fatiha. 165 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,200 Yeah, I like the scale of the drawers, 166 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,720 you can have three points. Yes. Three to Stevie. 167 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,320 You know, I'd like to see a jelly that big. 168 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,800 I'd like to see an even bigger jelly the size of a paddling pool, 169 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,200 but obviously someone's gonna bare their beasts on television, 170 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,840 of course I have to give them five points. 171 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,360 Five points to Jason Mantzoukas. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 172 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,320 Right, what's the first proper task, please? 173 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,200 Well, let me show you. 174 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,280 That's strange. It's, uh... 175 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,840 Hm. I don't know how... 176 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,160 Fine. Right, well, here we go, it's this. 177 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,840 Yoo-hoo. 178 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,760 You all right? What you saying? 179 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,560 Something missing. Where is it? 180 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,800 DRUMS ON TABLE Come on. 181 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,680 It's nearby. ROSIE SIGHS 182 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,640 You've got one job, Alex, to write the task. 183 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,120 I've given you the task. 184 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,880 Did I sit on it? 185 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:11,440 Hello? 186 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,920 Have you put something on my back? 187 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,120 Warm. Warm. 188 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,720 Ah, warm. 189 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,360 Oh, OK. Warm. 190 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,560 You're very warm. 191 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,200 But you said I was very warm over there. 192 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,080 Yeah, you were. Very warm. 193 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,200 But not warmer than I was there? 194 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,000 No, exactly the same. 195 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,680 I can see it, if that helps. 196 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,200 I cannot believe that. 197 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,120 Liberties. If this stains my hijab, oh, bruv. 198 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,560 "Congratulations. 199 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,440 "You've discovered the magic moustache. 200 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,000 "You must wear it until the end of this task." 201 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,440 Does it matter where? 202 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,240 Let me see things through your eyes. 203 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,400 Sure, have a look, yeah. 204 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,320 Staring right at it. Yeah? OK. LAUGHTER 205 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,920 Colder. 206 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,600 Warmer, warmer. 207 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,080 Colder. 208 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,520 Warmer. 209 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,560 ALEX GIGGLES Colder. Warmer. 210 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,760 Is it on me? 211 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,200 Dammit. 212 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,360 Colder. Colder. Warmer. 213 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,840 Colder. No, warmer. 214 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,800 Colder. Warmer. 215 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,760 LAUGHTER 216 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,040 Warmer, warmer. 217 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,320 Pretty hot now. 218 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,040 What a laugh. 219 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,400 Ah, yeah. 220 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,320 "Place something somewhere surprising." 221 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,400 "The thing that makes the Taskmaster ask, 222 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,400 "'How did that get there?' the loudest wins." 223 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,960 "There is a bonus point 224 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,800 "for the most surprising answer to that question." 225 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,320 "You have a maximum of 30 minutes. 226 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,400 "Your time starts now." All right. 227 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,680 I cannot help you. 228 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,000 Have you been helping me? LAUGHTER 229 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,280 No. 230 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,360 APPLAUSE Oh. Ooh. 231 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,160 It's a little bit different, isn't it? It is a bit. 232 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,040 So you are gonna see something somewhere. Yeah. 233 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,240 And you're gonna respond with a, "How did that get there?" 234 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,840 at varying levels, depending on how surprised you are. 235 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,120 Quite exciting, innit? It is exciting. 236 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,560 OK, I'm gonna show you 237 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,440 Fatiha's thing placed somewhere incredibly surprising. 238 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,080 Here we go, it's... 239 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,760 ..a croissant on a roof. 240 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,960 LAUGHTER 241 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,200 Let's just see the natural reaction. 242 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:44,840 LACKLUSTRE: How did that get there? 243 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,880 LAUGHTER 244 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,920 How do you... How do you think it got there? 245 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,920 I think that Fatiha went straight outside and threw it on the roof. 246 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,960 OK. Don't say anything, Fatiha. 247 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,840 We're gonna see one more before we see how she's done it. 248 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,880 This is Rosie's thing. 249 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:03,120 There it is, it's bra and a thong on a clock. 250 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,160 LAUGHTER 251 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:08,720 MILDLY INTERESTED: How did that get there? 252 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,080 You still don't seem that intrigued. How do you think it got there? 253 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,400 I think she climbed up a ladder 254 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,560 and put a bra and a thong on the clock. Interesting. 255 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,320 Well, let's see how these things got where they got. Here we go. 256 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,640 LAUGHTER 257 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,440 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 258 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,080 Maybe that was too forceful, innit? Maybe. 259 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,720 Hello. Hi. 260 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,360 Excuse me. Oh, yeah. 261 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,200 OK. That is a lot higher than I thought it was. 262 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,640 Yeah, and you're only little. 263 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,280 FATIHA SHRIEKS 264 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,440 Oh, god. You're doing really well. 265 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,080 Oh, why have I done this? 266 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,200 Oh, my god, this is how I'm gonna die. 267 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,360 Right. This...silly programme. 268 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,680 GRUNTS AND KISSES 269 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,600 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 270 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,920 Yes! Yes! 271 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,640 This is terrifying. Hm. 272 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,960 All right. Oh, god, I'm going. 273 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,640 You finished? Yeah, done. 274 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,760 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 275 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,040 As I suspected. 276 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,440 You lobbed it up. How many goes did it take her? 277 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,720 It took you seven goes. LAUGHTER 278 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:52,840 It wasn't my fault. 279 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,520 It was the croissant's fault, it kept on rolling. 280 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,840 Yeah, the croissant did have something to do with it. Yeah. 281 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,280 What's written on the pants? 282 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,080 I did write, "Greg, if this wins, I will give you £50." 283 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,520 Um, but I've, I have... Have you got the cash? 284 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,240 Yeah, and so, 285 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,040 just to let you know, as well, it's a new one. 286 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,920 Ooh, lovely. Ooh, Charles is on it. 287 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,200 Charles. Nice. Lovely. LAUGHTER 288 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,400 Wh-- Why have you given it to him... 289 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,600 STEVIE: Should've held that back. ..before the judgement? Yeah. 290 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,680 LAUGHTER 291 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,600 APPLAUSE 292 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,120 So, OK, you did what I said, 293 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,880 you climbed up a ladder... I did. ..and you thought, 294 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,560 "I'll bribe my way out of this." Yeah. Interesting. 295 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,240 Well, I've got the £50. We'll see how we feel at the end. Hm. 296 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,840 Right, time for a break now, 297 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,400 but, as my auntie said when she accidentally threw a stick 298 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,240 for her dog into an open quarry, 299 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,520 "Come back. Please, come back! 300 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:48,360 "Tintin! Please! Come back!" 301 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,560 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 302 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,840 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 303 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,280 Well, well, well. 304 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,080 It's the start of part two 305 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:07,240 and time for me to continue to shout, "How did that get there?" or not. 306 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,280 Yes, and right now that will depend on how Stevie did. 307 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,160 I'm gonna show you a photo, Greg. 308 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,760 How do you think this got here? 309 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,800 LAUGHTER 310 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,040 Little, little... Little wooden basket with... 311 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,440 With eggs in? STEVIE: No, breads. 312 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,000 Breadsticks. Tiny, tiny French breads. 313 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,560 Little tiny French breads. Yeah. Hm. 314 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,880 INTRIGUED: How did that get there? Ooh. 315 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,160 Wow. Someone's interested. That's good. 316 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,160 I think it probably got there in a weird way. 317 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,320 LAUGHTER OK. 318 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,040 Before I show you, I'm gonna show you Mat's object. 319 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,280 How do you think this got there? 320 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,000 It's a sofa in the garden. 321 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,760 LAUGHTER 322 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,960 FATIHA LAUGHS 323 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,120 MILDLY IRRITATED: How did that get there? 324 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,800 How do you think it got there? Well, Mathew, using the manic energy 325 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,880 that he's been storing up for a whole series, 326 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,120 violently dragged it out of the door. OK. 327 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,200 Well, let's see how those things got there. 328 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,280 MAT GRUNTS 329 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,320 LAUGHTER 330 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,040 Careful. 331 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:29,760 SHOUTS: Alex, would you like a small basket of breads? 332 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,640 Oh, yes, please, Stevie. 333 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,040 Whoo! 334 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,200 It's just a sofa in a garden. 335 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,480 Or is it? 336 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,200 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Wow. 337 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,680 How did that get there? 338 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,520 APPLAUSE 339 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,480 So it wasn't the sofa, it was the cushion that was the subject. 340 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,080 It was me... It was you. ..in the end, wasn't it? 341 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:17,160 But I'm supposed to be surprised by how the thing got there, aren't I? 342 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:22,360 Whatever you think...is, is, is a good thing. Look... 343 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,480 If it's the sofa, if it's me... Look, we've got our base. 344 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,520 It's not a croissant lobbed on a roof. 345 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,680 So things are looking good. Now here's the weird thing. 346 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,840 If you'd have asked me to guess Stevie's 347 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,320 I was genuinely gonna say, 348 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,160 I imagine that she lowered it into his mouth with a fishing rod. Really? 349 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,400 Honestly. God. 350 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,560 But I wasn't expecting her to have created an upside down house. 351 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,120 It's a surprising answer. It's surprising galore. OK. 352 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,160 It's surprising galore. OK. 353 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,200 There is one more to see. I know. 354 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,040 It's Jason Mantzoukas. 355 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,680 A banana skin in a cupboard. 356 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,920 LAUGHTER 357 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,640 Now, should my, "How did that get there?" 358 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,160 be based on what I see, or my knowledge of Jason? 359 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,640 That's up to you, Greg. 360 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,120 OK, well, I'll give you both. 361 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,520 INDIFFERENT: How did that get there? 362 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,360 DISTURBED: How did that get there? 363 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,440 LAUGHTER OK. 364 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,520 Here we go, this is what happened. 365 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,720 LAUGHTER 366 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 367 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,040 Nish. 368 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,440 Jason. 369 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,840 APPLAUSE 370 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,080 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 371 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:51,360 LAUGHTER 372 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,320 Oh, my god. 373 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,680 I mean, fair play. Yeah. Yeah. 374 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,600 They did an incredible job making him greyer, I will say. 375 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,160 Yeah. He's not nearly as grey as I am. 376 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,640 You're very different characters, as well. Oh, yes. 377 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,160 He's been on this show and he was... 378 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,240 I mean, the... He was pathetic. Yes. 379 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,280 LAUGHTER 380 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,920 Right, let's go. 381 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,680 Fatiha, I'm very fond of you 382 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,200 but I knew you'd lobbed that croissant on that roof. 383 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,040 One point to Fatiha. One point. 384 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,000 I was mildly more intrigued by Rosie. 385 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,280 Rosie would be right at the top if I were allowed to accept bribes 386 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,920 but I can't. OK, two for you. 387 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,440 Hm, there's a bit of ambiguity about Mathew's, I think. 388 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,800 I knew how that sofa and those cushions got there. Hm. 389 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,000 But I didn't expect him to be hiding in the cushions. 390 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,400 So he did put something somewhere surprising. 391 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,120 So I must reward that to some extent. OK. 392 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,880 So I'll give him three points. Three to you, Mathew. 393 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:46,040 And we bounce up, obviously Stevie's was a masterpiece. 394 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,520 So much going on there. Thank you. 395 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,320 But I was so genuinely shocked by Kumar's arrival, 396 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,040 I have to reward our American friend with five points. 397 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,760 There we go, five points to Jason Mantzoukas. 398 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,960 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 399 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,560 OK. 400 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,360 I mean, there is a bonus point for the most surprising answer. 401 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,320 So I guess, was it Jason's or Stevie's? 402 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,600 Um, obviously Jason. 403 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,040 Jason gets another, he gets six points. OK, another point. 404 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,560 Wow. Six points. APPLAUSE 405 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,680 OK, press your button and show me some scores. 406 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,800 Jason's in the lead with 11 points. Lovely. 407 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,960 CHEERING 408 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,840 That's a high score, let me just say. That's a high score. 409 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,040 Next! 410 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,720 Yes, it's finally time for me to try out some new partners. 411 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,680 Jason. Hello, Alex. 412 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,520 Get those legs out. Wow, they're very white. 413 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,160 Yeah, if you've got them. Yeah. 414 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,280 Those getaway sticks. LAUGHTER 415 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,200 ROSIE LAUGHS Oh. Got your legs oot. 416 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,720 What in the pasty hell is this? What is going on? 417 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,320 Who's pasty? You, bruv. Look. 418 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,000 You know what, let's do this. 419 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,040 Look at your getaway sticks. Yeah. 420 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,280 All right. 421 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,440 "Create the most exciting new bodies 422 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,760 "so that you and Alex become a dynamic duo." 423 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,960 What a sentence. 424 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:26,360 "You must then do something dynamic together for no more than a minute." 425 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,720 "Most dynamic duo wins." 426 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,120 "You have 30 minutes." 427 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,080 "Your time starts now." Most exciting bodies? 428 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:35,880 Do I have to touch you? What the hell is going on? 429 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,320 "Make the most exciting new bodies." 430 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:43,240 Oh, OK, so we can add appendages to ourselves. 431 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,920 Just waiting for an idea to pop into the old noggin. 432 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,840 That's not really how it works. Yeah. 433 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,080 No. Oh, right, shall I just...? OK. Yeah. 434 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,480 "Your time starts now." 435 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,960 LAUGHTER 436 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,200 Close. Almost . Close. Almost. Well... 437 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,440 ..looks like, uh, Mathew may have overheard Stevie 438 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,120 and, uh, decided to offer his appendage there. 439 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:13,760 OK, here we go with Fatiha and Stevie's oh-so-dynamic bodies. 440 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,560 DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING 441 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,920 Ah, my old friend. 442 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,600 Sir Alex of Horne. 443 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,160 Ah, Sir Stevie of Martin. 444 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,440 HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING 445 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,480 FATIHA HISSES 446 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,600 Hey, Hijab, I don't think you've ever grappled with 447 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,520 a Raging Horne before. The Raging Horne never subsides. 448 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,960 I'm gonna crack your Horne and feed it to the pigeons. 449 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,160 We have fought side by side for decades. 450 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,040 But then you killed my son. 451 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,000 It was an accident. 452 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,720 But you will never believe me. 453 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:05,680 Dismount, lad. 454 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:14,040 Now, arm yourself for the last dance. 455 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,520 Are you ready? Ready. 456 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,480 Raging Horne, ready. 457 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,280 Hijab, ready. 458 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,360 And, en garde! Ha! 459 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,240 STEVIE GRUNTS 460 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,800 BELL DINGS You've got no rhythm. 461 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,520 One push and you're done. 462 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,040 Oh! 463 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,880 Here he goes. 464 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,640 I have defeated him! 465 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,400 Raging Horne? More like raging delusional... 466 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,600 I'm still here. ..isn't it? Oh, hello. 467 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,280 STEVIE GRUNTS AND PANTS 468 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,000 I've had enough of this. 469 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,200 Here comes the Hijabi Slabby. 470 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,840 BELL DINGS CROWD CHEERS 471 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,560 I'm the best! 472 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,840 Come here! 473 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,840 STEVIE GRUNTS 474 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,640 STEVIE WAILS 475 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,560 My friend, it's been an honour. 476 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,080 STEVIE GROANS 477 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,200 APPLAUSE 478 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,960 Takes a lot to impress me these days. 479 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:40,120 I'm old and cynical, but you conjured up the majesty of medieval times. 480 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,240 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thought it was funny, well acted, 481 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,240 there was a very touching moment, "You killed my son." 482 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,960 Loved it. See? 483 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,200 And when I'm nice, no-one likes it. 484 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,680 LAUGHTER 485 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,760 Now then. 486 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,800 I don't know what the hell was going on. 487 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,360 The dynamism was where? 488 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,160 I mean, it just looked like two people dressed as eggs 489 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,400 banging into each other. No! 490 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,360 I used my whole body, you know, 491 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,520 and Alex really did fall over, 492 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,960 and I ended up... Slowly. ..banging my chin. Yeah. 493 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,560 I banged my chin, cos... I'm sorry you banged your chin. 494 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,360 Yeah. And I'm sorry that your video was rubbish. 495 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,480 LAUGHTER Good. Who's next? 496 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:25,440 OK, well, here are Jason and I, and me and Rosie. 497 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,080 WOLF HOWLING 498 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,880 Skelly? Mm-hm. 499 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,160 We've been rattling around these streets for far too long. 500 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:44,120 I think it's time that we get up to that city in the sky. 501 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,880 After one last dance. Oh. 502 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,360 Are you ready? Yeah. 503 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,280 Five, six, seven, eight. 504 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,320 LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING 505 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,360 LAUGHTER 506 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,640 RHYTHMIC METALLIC CLINKING 507 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,840 LAUGHTER 508 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,960 DISCORDANT WHISTLING 509 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,520 That's right, 510 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,960 we are the dynamic duo known as Captain Drum 511 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,480 and Pipe Beast. 512 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,040 Show 'em what you got, Pipe Beast. 513 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,440 HISSING AND WHISTLING 514 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,440 These are not our original bodies! 515 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,480 WHISTLING AND DRUMMING 516 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,960 Quieter now. Dynamics. 517 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,000 VOLUME SOFTENS 518 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,840 VOLUME INCREASES 519 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,320 LAUGHTER 520 00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:47,360 LIVELY MUSIC CONTINUES 521 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,320 Pipe solo! 522 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,880 VACUUM WHOOSHES RECORDER WHISTLES 523 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,560 This is rock 'n' roll from the future. 524 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,440 My left hand has run out of battery. OK. 525 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,480 LIVELY MUSIC CONTINUES 526 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,760 MUSIC ENDS 527 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 528 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,280 Really nice. Both of them, really nice. 529 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,000 Classic bit of puppet work from you. 530 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,960 One last jig. We loved a jig, didn't we? 531 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,200 You love to jig. Course we did. 532 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,520 But then you were going to your final resting place, presumably. 533 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,240 Yeah. After that jig. Then we went. 534 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:24,920 And then you passed. Yeah. Mm-hm. 535 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,160 Who'd have thought that these would be...so powerful? 536 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,880 Jason, what did I write down for you? Oh, yeah. 537 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,520 You're a fucking maniac. 538 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,920 LAUGHTER 539 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,240 Sounds about right. 540 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,400 So you were playing on dynamics, musical dynamics, weren't you? 541 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,320 Correct. Louder and quieter. Quieter and louder. 542 00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:43,680 Musical dynamics. Yeah. 543 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,240 And, of course, you were shouting classic catchphrases like, 544 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,440 "These are not our original bodies." 545 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,600 LAUGHTER Yep. 546 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,160 Let's have a break, shall we? This one needs to go and have a wee. 547 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,320 Get it in the litter tray this time. 548 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,720 ALEX HEAVES Oh, great, now he's got a furball. 549 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,000 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 550 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,160 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 551 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,520 Hello! 552 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,960 Welcome back to the penultimate episode of the series, 553 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,600 in which I am currently judging 554 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,080 the most exciting new bodies 555 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:19,920 combined to create the most dynamic duo. 556 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,120 Yes, and what a body we have next. 557 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,920 What a taut, svelte, lithe body. 558 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,160 Of course, it's Mat Baynton's body. 559 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,280 LAUGHTER 560 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,720 CRUNCHING 561 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,760 RUMBLING OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING 562 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,920 LAUGHTER 563 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,960 OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES 564 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,760 MUSIC ENDS BIRDS SINGING 565 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,280 GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING 566 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,040 AUDIENCE: Aw! 567 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,280 LAUGHTER 568 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 569 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,720 MUSIC CONTINUES 570 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,920 APPLAUSE 571 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,600 LAUGHTER 572 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,040 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 573 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,560 Oh, man. 574 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,480 What a beautiful take on the word dynamic. 575 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,280 And it's the first time, and I'm new to this phrase, 576 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,440 first time I've had a camel toe. 577 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,080 LAUGHTER 578 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,120 ROSIE SQUEALS 579 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,400 Oh, my god. Oh, wow! I know. 580 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,400 I don't know what happened. I know. 581 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,560 What is it? I don't know what it is. 582 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,080 I don't know what it is. 583 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,360 You look like you've got a big, chubby fanny. 584 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,720 LAUGHTER 585 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,760 APPLAUSE 586 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,120 I'm just glad we're talking about somebody else's balls. 587 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,640 LAUGHTER 588 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,680 Right, you need to judge this now. Yeah. 589 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,400 Most dynamic duo wins. I do have to do judge it. 590 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,760 Well... Oh. 591 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,880 Bad, innit? Please. 592 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,160 But I tell you what, though, I so liked the character... Mm. 593 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,160 ..I'm not gonna give you one point. I'm gonna give you two points. 594 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,040 OK. Whoo! 595 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,600 I thought that everything else was excellent, 596 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,720 so I'm giving Rosie three and Jason three. 597 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,720 Then I'm jumping up to the knight story. 598 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:53,280 The narrative was so complex. Four points to Stevie Martin. OK. 599 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,840 And, of course, 600 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,160 how could I not give five points to Mathew's beautiful butterfly? 601 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,200 Well done, Mathew Baynton. Five points. 602 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 603 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,280 Right, let's have another. Yes, we're gonna have another now, 604 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,880 and another, and another, and another. 605 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,200 And another. 606 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,080 ALEX OVER SPEAKER: All the information's on the task. 607 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:18,760 Miaow! 608 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,920 Well, all the information is on the task. 609 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,760 Assalaamu Alaikum, habibi. 610 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,440 Oh. Nice simple one. 611 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,560 Ooh, OK, good. These are the ones I like. 612 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,600 Let's get into a good, hearty task. 613 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,640 Immediately, disaster. 614 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,080 Ooh, "Conquer the multitask." 615 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,760 "You must complete every task in every room you enter." 616 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,560 "Fastest wins." 617 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,200 "Your time starts now. 618 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,960 "Now either have a snack in the kitchen 619 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,320 "or a lie down in the hutch." 620 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,120 Where's the hutch? Hm. 621 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,360 APPLAUSE 622 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,520 Good, I think I understand it. Mm-hm. Not much to say. 623 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,440 We just need to see them in action, don't we, on this occasion? 624 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,200 That's right. It's choose your own task-ing time, 625 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,680 and we're gonna begin with Fatiha and Jason. 626 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,160 I'll do a snack in the kitchen, if you don't mind. 627 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,600 I'll come with you. Shall we? Yes, please. 628 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,760 Oh, habibi, you think you are clever? 629 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,560 I am cleverer than you. 630 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:24,200 2-8-5-1. 631 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:25,720 You've written down your snack. 632 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,080 What? 633 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,000 "Clean up this mess." 634 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,680 What the hell, man? Oi, this is disgusting. 635 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,280 "Then either have a lie down in the hutch..." 636 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,200 "..or finish a drink in the caravan." 637 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,680 Drink in the caravan, please. 638 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,160 Oh. I want the elixir 639 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,840 but I'm scared it's gonna taste like nonsense. 640 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,640 Blue drink, is it? Mm-hm. 641 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,440 Done. 642 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,880 "Become this person. If you have eaten a snack, 643 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,440 "you must wear the snack sign for the rest of the task." 644 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:57,720 Become this person? 645 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,160 Oh, I see. This person. Got it. Sorry, sorry. Yes, please. 646 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,520 "Wander in the living room or rummage in the shed, please." 647 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,600 I'll have a rummage in the shed. OK. 648 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,040 Come on. 649 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,640 Can I have this coat? I think it's nice, you know. 650 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,240 "Give Patatas the elixir." 651 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,600 Patatas? 652 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,320 "You must use the baby bottle to administer the elixir. 653 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,640 "Then you have conquered the multitask." 654 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,760 Baby bottle is what I'm looking for. 655 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,000 Baby bottle. 656 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,280 Ah, ah! I found it, I found it, I found it. 657 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,600 There's a safe, and I wrote down the combination. 658 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,360 2-8-5-1. 659 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,160 Aw, cat. 660 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,680 OK. 661 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,160 Remember, if you go into a room, you've gotta do the task. 662 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,720 Dammit! 663 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,600 "Become this person. If you have eaten a snack, 664 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,720 "you must wear the snack sign for the rest of the task." 665 00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,360 Boy, is this hard to figure out. 666 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,600 Wait, wait, wait. 667 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 668 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,560 Patatas, be cool. 669 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,480 That was pretty smooth. 670 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,480 Thank you, Fatiha. Thank you. 671 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,480 Eee! I've stopped the clock. 672 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,880 Bye. APPLAUSE 673 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,920 I was genuinely, genuinely just thinking, 674 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,840 "Oh, this is nice. Jason hasn't smashed anything up." 675 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,800 But an unnecessary cat murder at the end. 676 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:41,560 And I dismantled the shed entirely. He did do that. 677 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,920 Good, as long as you cost us money. 678 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,360 Uh... Well, they were both quite good, weren't they? 679 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,120 They were really good. They both sussed out the cookie code 680 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:49,800 was significant early doors. Yeah. 681 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,000 And every time you went into a room you had to do the task 682 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,560 that was in there, so Fatiha cleverly at the end 683 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,800 didn't go into the room but reached through and got the elixir. 684 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,120 Real good. And that's why she is... Very clever. 685 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,080 ..five minutes quicker than Jason, in the end. 686 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,280 Six minutes 14, and 11 minutes 55. Wow. 687 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:04,840 Top speed so far. 688 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,840 Wanna see two more? Uh, yeah. 689 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,240 OK, well, it's two women called Stevie and Rosie next. 690 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,920 Yes, it's Stevie and Rosie. Here we go. 691 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,400 "Either have a snack in the kitchen or a lie down in the hutch." 692 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,960 Ooh. Ooh, a lie down. 693 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,120 Right, done that. 694 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,920 "Reconstruct the Taskmaster house." Yes, please. 695 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,320 What is that? 2-8-5-1. 696 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,200 That's it. "Now either brush your teeth in the lab 697 00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:32,320 "or have a snack in the kitchen." 698 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:33,920 I'm gonna have a little snacky snack. 699 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,960 Snack for me, please. 700 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,640 It's a number again. 701 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,800 Is that sand? Greg was here earlier. 702 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,520 What, cooking sand? Yeah. 703 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,160 I'm going to the caravan and having a drink. 704 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,080 Come on. Yeah, yeah. 705 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,480 Yeah. "Then either wander into the living room..." 706 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,920 "..or have a rummage in the shed." 707 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,000 I've been in the shed already. 708 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,000 I'll go back to the shed, seeing as I'm here. OK. 709 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,200 "Give Patatas the elixir." Who's Patatas? 710 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,880 Well, if you need more information, you know where to go. 711 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,200 Yeah, I do. Oh. 712 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:07,040 I don't have to do this again, do I? 713 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,960 "Brush your teeth in the lab." I haven't brushed my teeth. 714 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,200 Oh, my god. STEVIE CHUCKLES 715 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,360 "Fold up the map." 716 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,760 Behind some oars. I'm just gonna remember, behind some oars. 717 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,360 What map? I don't have a map yet. 718 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,360 Do you not have a map yet? Where's the map? 719 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,200 The map's gonna be somewhere else. 720 00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:31,000 I guess so. OK. LAUGHTER 721 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,280 "Then shimmy to the shed or dance for 30 seconds in the dome." 722 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,520 I'm gonna dance. 723 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,000 DANCE MUSIC PLAYING 724 00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,840 I'm gonna go and have a drink in the caravan. 725 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,240 "Become this person." STEVIE SQUEALS 726 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,000 Wander to the living room. 727 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,440 Oh, hello. Hello. 728 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:46,960 "Pop this balloon." 729 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,720 ROSIE SCREAMS 730 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,800 SHE LAUGHS I'm so sorry! 731 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,880 That was horrible. 732 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,280 There's something in that. "You've found me." 733 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,440 SHE GASPS "Go immediately to the shed." 734 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,480 LAUGHTER 735 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,880 Oh, the shed. This is the shed. 736 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,280 Ah. That's the hutch. 737 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,440 "Give Patatas the elixir." Who's Patatas? 738 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,240 Right, I need the elixir anyway. 739 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,720 Right. Oh, a lollipop lady. 740 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,440 OK, I'm gonna go into the shed. 741 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,680 Oh, maybe it's a map of where Patatas is, do you think? 742 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,440 Shut... 743 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,480 Was that there before? 744 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,640 I mean, it's huge. It can't have been, can it? 745 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,080 Let's go. It was behind the oars. 746 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,040 Right, 2-8-5-1. 747 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:33,760 Hello, baby. 748 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,080 I don't think he wants it. He wants it. 749 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,160 ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE I've stopped the clock. 750 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,200 APPLAUSE Lovely. Lovely. 751 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,160 Lovely. Good. 752 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,880 The thing that fascinates me is the difference in your energies, 753 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,760 and I felt like I was watching one mad teenager 754 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,920 who'd eaten three Easter eggs, 755 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,040 and then a mum who was just pottering around the shops. 756 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,280 "Ooh, well, I guess I'll pop in here, then." 757 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,160 "See what we've got in here," followed by, "Yaah! Aah!" 758 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,280 I've got two kids, I think that's the difference. 759 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,040 I ate quite a lot of the biscuits. 760 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:11,880 Were they similar times? Tell me some stats. 761 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,040 Well, they were similar number of rooms they went into. 762 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,120 They each went into 13 rooms. 763 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:20,200 Um, Stevie, 23 minutes and 29 seconds. OK. 764 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:23,320 Still much quicker than Rosie, who was half an hour. 765 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:24,600 Of course she was, 766 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,400 she went and had her nails done halfway through. 767 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,440 LAUGHTER 768 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,080 Right, well that's the end of part three. 769 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,520 Soon you'll see one of the cast up on stage 770 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,760 waving behind a chest of drawers, an air fryer, some boobs, 771 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,520 a foot and a paddling pool. 772 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:41,560 And you'd be forgiven for thinking perhaps humans should be extinct. 773 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,040 We'll see you in a minute. 774 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 775 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,040 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 776 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,880 Welcome back to the very last part of the show. 777 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:59,520 There was a busy old task going on before the break, wasn't there, Alex? 778 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,440 Mm-mm, yes, there was. 779 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,680 The cast are trying to conquer the multitask, 780 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,360 and there's only one person left to go, 781 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,880 presumably because he's been so brilliant. It's Mat. 782 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,040 Is this a nice snack for me? 783 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,320 MAT MUMBLES Pardon? 784 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,280 "Clean up this mess." 785 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,560 Drink in the caravan. We're going to the caravan, are we? Right. 786 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,720 Oh, elixir, why not? You deserve it. 787 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,080 To the living room. 788 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,240 Oh, I've never seen it done like that before. 789 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,240 MATHEW SPITS "Then shimmy to the shed." 790 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:36,400 "Give Patatas the elixir." 791 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,920 Where's the elixir? In... In me. 792 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,480 Is there more elixir? 793 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,360 Who is Patatas? 794 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,000 Oh, "If you need more information either have a snack... 795 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,240 "..in the kitchen or a lie down in the hutch." 796 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,120 While I'm here, I really am keen to have gathered a clue. 797 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,200 "Then either brush your teeth in the lab 798 00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,960 "or have a snack in the kitchen." Right. 799 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,440 LAUGHTER 800 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:05,960 A safe. 801 00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,600 What's the code? 802 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,840 There must be more clues in here. 803 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,640 I guess we move? The thing is, I know I'm gonna be back here. 804 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,040 LAUGHTER That's enough snack for me. 805 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,080 I'll just clean up the mess. 806 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,080 "Brush your teeth and then have a rummage in the shed." 807 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:27,920 "Pop this balloon and have a snack in the kitchen." 808 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:29,800 The fact it says have a lie down 809 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,120 makes me think it must be a clue... 810 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,640 LAUGHTER ..up above. 811 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,800 There's probably a clue in here, you would've thought. 812 00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,520 There's a clue. 2-8-5-1. 813 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,400 Pop into the lab. OK. 814 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,240 I've forgotten the number again. MATHEW LAUGHS 815 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,360 2-5-6-1. LAUGHTER 816 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,160 2-5-7-1. 817 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,160 RAPID BEEPING It's not accepting any... 818 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,120 Well... ..buttons any more. 819 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:02,720 You might have to give it a couple of minutes. 820 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,480 Just popping off to the hutch for a little lie down. 821 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,480 2-8-5-1. 822 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,760 2-8-5-1. 2-8-5-1. 823 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,080 2-8-5-1. 2-8-5-1. LAUGHTER 824 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,680 RAPID BEEPING I've broken the safe. 825 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:18,320 Oh, you've been locked out. Four minutes we have to wait. 826 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,920 It's amazing how many regrets you can have, isn't it? 827 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,080 LAUGHTER 828 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,720 KEYPAD BEEPING 829 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,320 Patatas! 830 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:35,680 I've stopped the clock, Mathew. 831 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,680 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 832 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,080 Well... 833 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,760 Um, it was bad luck, though, do you not think? 834 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,720 That's what I felt throughout. Bad luck? 835 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,600 I just thought he was really unlucky that he missed things. 836 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,600 Well, I mean, you say that, he went into 32 rooms in the end. 837 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,640 LAUGHTER 838 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,120 JASON AND ROSIE: What? 839 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,760 Sorry, I take it back. The man's an idiot. Yeah. 840 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,200 Ah, you'll be all right. 841 00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:07,480 NONCHALANT: Yeah. 842 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,360 Don't say it like, though, cos it seemed over-defensive, that did. 843 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,240 Oh. "Yeah, no, I'm fine, whatever." 844 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:13,960 Well, I fucking am. 845 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,680 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 846 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:20,720 Right, give me some scores. 847 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,560 Fatiha gets the five points. The fastest by miles. Five points. 848 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,600 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Well done, Fatiha. Six minutes. 849 00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,240 Jason's in second, he gets four points for his 11 minutes 55. 850 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,200 Stevie, three points, 23 minutes. 851 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:34,200 Rosie, half an hour, but still you get two points for coming fourth 852 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:38,040 because Mathew took 51 minutes and gets one point. 853 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,520 LAUGHTER Unlucky, though, Mathew. 854 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:42,200 51. 855 00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:45,200 OK. Will you make your way to the stage for... 856 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:47,000 ..the final task of the show! 857 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,440 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 858 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,600 Hi there, my dear friend. Hey, Greg. 859 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,760 You all right? Yeah, I've just been to the gym. 860 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,840 LAUGHTER 861 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,680 Um, who's gonna read the task out? 862 00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:07,280 My beautiful butterfly brother, Baynton. 863 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,200 Thanks, brother. LAUGHTER 864 00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:14,000 "Say a word that fits the category given by the Taskmaster, 865 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:18,080 "then press your button and the time will pass to the other team. 866 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,480 "Team members must take it in turns to say words 867 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,880 "and no words may be repeated during the task. 868 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,440 "The team that does not run out of time wins." 869 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,360 I will explain. There's a chess clock here, 870 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,600 both teams have got 30 seconds so the quicker you think, 871 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,960 the quicker you press the button, the better you'll do. 872 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,600 The team of three is going first. OK. 873 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,360 As soon I press the button, your clock starts. 874 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,240 Round one. The category is... 875 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,480 It's five-letter words. Good luck. 876 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:44,920 Penis. 877 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,200 Apple. 878 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:47,480 Ankle? STEVIE: Apple. Juice. 879 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:48,600 Juice. Chips. 880 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,040 Chips, good. 881 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,040 Agree. Agree is good. 882 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:55,080 Flags. Lovely. 883 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,800 Shoes. Death. 884 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,960 Metal. Death metal, that's nice. 885 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,520 T-- Light. 886 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,680 Found. Knife. 887 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:05,160 Knife. Forks. Forks. 888 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,720 Angel. Not you! 889 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:08,760 LAUGHTER 890 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,120 Mathew just did one. 891 00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,880 I'm sorry. No, it's all right. But no, stay there. Stay there. 892 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,960 MAT: I said forks. I know, but then she said... 893 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,400 So after your team, it's your team. ROSIE: I got too excited. 894 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,720 Looks like the supply teacher's lost control, doesn't it? 895 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,080 LAUGHTER It's your... 896 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,680 Don't press the button until they've done it. OK, I'm sorry. 897 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:26,240 Piles. 898 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,360 An... Angel. 899 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,920 Grape. 900 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,320 Tasks. Lovely, cos that's the show, isn't it? 901 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,120 Boobs. Crisp. 902 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,560 Charm. Carry. 903 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,080 Queen. 904 00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,040 Kings. Slits. 905 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:41,600 Hands. 906 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,280 Rosie? Not you! 907 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,320 LAUGHTER 908 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,160 Oh... 909 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:49,640 Fucks. 910 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,360 Rosie? ROSIE LAUGHS 911 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,560 Jason. BUZZER SOUNDS 912 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,160 It's all over, this team wins round one. Thank god. 913 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,440 APPLAUSE 914 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,880 Well, if that was tricky, you'd better strap yourselves in. 915 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,120 It's round two, everyone. It's 1-0 to the team of three. 916 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:14,320 Words that start and end with the letter T. 917 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,760 They start and end with the letter T, 918 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,160 we're starting with the team of two. Good luck. 919 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,240 Twat. LAUGHTER 920 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,560 Teat. Twist. 921 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,400 Thrift. Tenet. 922 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:25,760 Tit. 923 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,720 Trot. Tenant. 924 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:30,960 Taught. 925 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,640 Twit. Tint. 926 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,120 To... 927 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,520 Toppa-loppa-top-top-tip. LAUGHTER 928 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,280 Don't press that button until you say a word 929 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:39,520 that starts and ends with T. 930 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,600 FATIHA WHISPERS: Trot. We've had trot. 931 00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,240 Shh! 932 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,400 Ti... Tint. 933 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:47,840 No helping, Fatiha. FATIHA: Sorry. 934 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:49,960 Tint? No? Has that been? We've had tint. 935 00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:52,400 MAT: Turret. 936 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:53,880 ROSIE: Torrent. Shh. 937 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:55,680 What was the word? Torrent. Torrent. 938 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:59,000 Oh, it's team of two who gets round two. 939 00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,640 ALEX SIGHS Are you OK? Are you all right? 940 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,280 That's very nice, she's just checking I'm OK. 941 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,440 And not really, no, not really. OK. LAUGHTER 942 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:10,400 You're doing well. You've not been a teacher long. 943 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,520 Um... OK, it is round three, the final round. 944 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:15,560 It's 1-1, this is it. Good luck. 945 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:16,840 JASON: Here we go, Stevie. 946 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:18,960 This is absolutely horrific. 947 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:23,800 Words one letter longer than the previous word. 948 00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:25,480 Starting with you Rosie, go. 949 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,040 I. 950 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,280 In. 951 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,680 We're looking for a three-letter word. 952 00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,080 The. 953 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,320 Brat. 954 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:35,720 Fudge. 955 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,560 Fudges. 956 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,880 What? I don't... We're looking for a seven-letter word. 957 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:43,200 Beetles. 958 00:45:45,240 --> 00:45:47,400 Yes. Um... 959 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,720 Brr, what? So, I'm eight? Yes. 960 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:53,840 Chainsaw. 961 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:56,200 Correct. A nine-letter word. 962 00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:00,840 Meat-freeze. 963 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,920 No, I can't... LAUGHTER 964 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,680 No, you get brain-freeze, you don't get meat-freeze. 965 00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:09,720 Um, I... BUZZER SOUNDS 966 00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,280 You could've had chainsaws. But the team of two wins! 967 00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,720 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 968 00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,160 Come down, we'll add that to your final scores. 969 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,640 APPLAUSE 970 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:22,280 Hello, again. 971 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:25,320 Surprisingly tense. 972 00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,080 Yes, I just enjoyed being in full control of a task. 973 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,120 LAUGHTER 974 00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,360 So the team of three gets three points, 975 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:33,920 the team of two get five points. 976 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,960 Well done, Jason and Stevie. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 977 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:42,400 Which means that the team of two have dominated today's scoreboard. 978 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,320 Stevie is in second place with 19 points 979 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,640 but Jason Mantzoukas wins the episode, his second, 980 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:48,120 with 23 points! 981 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,520 Jason wins! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 982 00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:53,520 Please go up and celebrate on the telly 983 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,680 with your things that make jelly! 984 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,960 It's the final next, but for now there's just one winner, 985 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,480 and it's Jason Mantzoukas! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 986 00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:05,520 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 67395

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