All language subtitles for La Cambiale 1959-en

It is far ?

Stop. Sit down.

Wait for.

This is cordially unpleasant
to me, let's hope well.

- Does it hurt ?
- To me... no.

- Like "To me... no"?
- No.

- Doesn't it hurt you?
- No.

- Excuse me, yours is chronic unconsciousness.
- Why ?

Are we lucky enough to be
run over and it doesn't hurt?

Because you bandaged my
sound foot and not the "broken" one.

What a fool! You are stupid !

Yeah, it's the left. I bandaged
your left because I'm left handed.

- And you said this hurt you.
- Because the weather changed.

- That hurt me too.
- And now it doesn't hurt ?
- No.

Doesn't it hurt you?
Look into my eyes.

Ouch!

Good, good, good, good.
Lullaby, good, good.

Do you feel how you suffer?
Here we need a strong compensation!

He needs the feet!
He walks with his feet!

He looks like an ordinary man to
her, but he isn't. He is a pedestrian!

He doesn't interest me.

Inhumane!

He does not care !
How I dislike him!

- That's a fool.
- Yes, a fool.

Get up. Follow me.

- Me to that...
- Shut up.

Limp!

To come in.

Ah, it's her! Tell me.

Sure, you shop.
One moment, shop.

Hello?
I didn't say to her, a moment.

The deal interests me, I don't
care 50 or 100 million more.

- Excuse me for a moment.
RING OF THE PHONE

Say, engineer.
480 million and not a penny more!

ALL TELEPHONES
RING - Confirm the news?

- Hello? Stay in line.
- It's for her. - Like ?

- Who are you ?
- They're the investment people.

- Doctor Pierluigi Bruscatelli.
- Pleased to meet you, Cesare Posalaquaglia.

- Berto Lacandida.
- It's Nordic, from the north.

- A cigar?
- Thanks, it's very kind of you.

- Would you like to sit down?
- Do not mention it.

-We are in his house and ..
.- Exactly.

- Mr. BRUSCOLINl...
- Bruscatelli. - I know.

- Please, Posalaquaglia.
- Then I'll sit down.

- She too. - Permit? - Sure.

For an investment, it
couldn't have happened better.

Our company has a capital
of 2 billion and "broken".

- What did I tell you earlier?
- Are too many.

- Actually there are a bit too many, BRUSCOLINI.
- Too many peas.

What sum did you intend
to...

"Roughly", as an adjustment, we

would have satisfied
even the "broken".

It is not worth it, the "broken"
will be 282 or 283 million.

Bringing the figure to
Guatemala, between interest

and devaluation would
be reduced to a trifle.

Let me advise you.

Let's make half a billion and
don't talk about it anymore!

Good boy ! It's nice to talk to people
who understand, who understand.

Bravo, Mr. BRUSCACOSO,
is a great man!

For the sum, how do you intend to
do it, through a bank or "pro manibus"?

- We don't care, you do.
- A nice "cappellata" and off you go!

But what investment are they talking about?

- You hit them with the car.
-She had to say it first!

Prepare the balance!

What ways! She scares him.

He is infirm, he has
a bruised lower limb.

- Get your foot off my table!
- Don't raise your voice.

Let's agree because
my time is precious.

- Even my client's!
- What does she do ?

- The unemployed.
- Ah!

Do not listen to him, from the
"investiture", he does not think anymore.

- But I just stepped on his foot!
- And what it means ?

The nerves start from the foot
and flow to the cranial skullcap.

The shock was so strong
that the cranial skullcap

and the "intercostal"
brain no longer work.

- What did you do?
- Specialized in files.

I was queuing at the counters to
collect the packages for the subsidy.

- He was unemployed then!
- Let's not start with big words!

- He's very busy!
- Yes, it's a difficult job.

To get the winter rescue you
have to stay there all winter, then

spring comes and you can no longer
sell the panettone and the blanket.

With his investment he did
him harm. Damages are paid!

- "Whoever breaks pays and the
pieces belong to him! '
' -
Enough!

- Who is she ?
- What ways are these?

Doctor, I have left the
number and name blank.

- How much ?
- We had established... - Tell him.

- The loose change, 283 million.
- 283 million?

It is understanding!

Sir?

- 100 thousand lire, take it or leave it.
- Are you kidding?

From 283 million we go
down to 100 thousand lire?

- What a reduction!
- Take or leave !

- You put me in front of a HORNED dilemma.
- Why ?

Because faced with the
alternative of taking or leaving,

- I'm for the taking.
- Bravo, lawyer.

- What name should I write?
- In via transitory, Posalaquaglia.

- I transit.
- He passes.

- Here it is.
- Good.

- What is this ?
- What's this ?

- Never seen. Is it a SCEQUA?
- No, it's a "I'll pay".

"I'll pay". We had established
that he paid immediately.

- I pay with a "I'll pay".
- No. Whoever pays immediately, pays with a "pay".

- I will pay, you will pay... and he does not pay.
- What are you saying?

The "I'll pay" is a bill
and a bill is current money!

The use of cash payment is
outdated! Today you pay in bills.

- With this...
- Sure, you can spend it as you please.

Modern life is based on credit and
credit is based on promissory note.

All the largest
companies in the world,

as modestly mine
is, use this system.

Do you see this furniture?
All bills.

This huge palace? Bills!

All the companies that I have
around the world... Change them!

Therefore, gentlemen, I tell you
that the bill is tomorrow's cash.

Dear friends, if there is
one thing that will have a

future in Italy, this, my
friends, is the bill of exchange.

RINGING

What are you doing ?

He is like a child.

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen, do you
want to know where

this wonderful payment
system will lead us?

In jail ! His boss is done
cheating on his neighbor.

- Where is it ?
- Here, but I don't know if it's free.

He's not free, I have
a warrant for him.

What's up ?

- Are you Bruscatelli?
- Yup.

Could you go?
I have a little to do.

- Of course, she is important!
- Sorry if we kept you.

Don't hold him back too much,
the Commander has a lot to do.

He has many "payers"!

- Even the guards!
- Sure.

An important person has a
bodyguard. Good morning.

- Do you know him ? - No.
- You said hello. - It's education.

There is an arrest warrant.

Come here, you.

Miss, if they're looking
for me, say I'm out.

No, say it's inside.

My dear sir, you are delusional.

It is not enough to fall from
the tram to claim compensation.

No, my dear. Her fall
must have legal effect.

You must be supported
by a testimony.

- Do you have witnesses?
- Witnesses
? '
' Nothing '
'.

- Then let's make him come.
- Who ?
- Nothing.

Nothing, means "nobody"!

You have spoken in Latin! Since
we are on the subject of Latin, I will

quote you the phrase of that great
and famous man who was my father:

"Falling is lawful,
testifying is necessary."

"Lupus in fabula", go on!

Come on, "lupus in fabula".
- Forward !

It's you!
- Ah! "Lupus in fabula"! I did not understand.

- Understood as "cheese on macaroni '
'.
-
Really?

- My partner and cousin, Posalaquaglia.
- Posalaquaglia.

- Posalaquaglia.
- I have nothing.

- Him, Posalaquaglia. - It's me.
- Search me, I don't have it.

- I'm having fun ! Quail!
- I do not have it !

There is the usual mistake,
Posalaquaglia is our surname.

We are cousins, Posalaquaglia
and Posalaquaglia.

- I thought...
- You don't have to lay a quail here.

If you want to put it down, put it down.

- Pleasure.
- Ah! Put your hand down!

- Put your hand down!
- No, Posalaquaglia!

- He did not understand: Posalaquaglia.
- Put your hand down!

- What happened ?
-
His hand is injured.

- It scared me!
- I have a fractured hand.

That's why he said "put your hand down"!
instead I understood...

- I have a fractured hand.
- It is gone ? I'm sorry.

-He Stand still!
- Be good, be good.

- Is it fractured? - Yes.
- You can't see it!

I mistook it for a glove, sorry.

- We want to make a nice "record"?
- Is she there ?
-
I have to be there.

- We write. Profession?
- Restaurant waiter.

- Physical damage to report?
- Fracture of the hand.

- I'm sorry to contradict you: of the foot!
- No, of the hand.

- Of the foot.
- Of the hand, cousin.

You have not understood anything.

A one-handed waiter
can carry the dishes.

If he has a broken foot, he also
walks badly with the other foot.

-So he cannot exercise his physical profession.
- Quite right !

We can support the thesis of
permanent invalidity at work.

- Very well, lawyer.
-What number of feet does he wear?

I do not know.

"So much for baking
soda!" It's all foot!

I always walk!

So...

That will be a 45/46, if I'm not mistaken.

- Done.
- What's this ?

- This served for the other client.
- Ah!

- Oh yes ! How did it go ?
- Well, then I'll tell you.

- Would you like to have the pleasure of putting it on
?
-
Yes.

- Does it fit well? - Well...
- Do you want some baby powder
? -
No need.

Lawyer, do you think he can
win the case with his broken foot?

- It's already won.
- "Definitely won"! - Good !

- Rest assured.
- That's it and let's hope well.

- Goodbye.
- Ouch!

- Does your foot hurt?
- No, the hand. - No, the foot!

The foot is important!
The hand no!

- But the hand is mine. - All right, hands and feet.
- The foot, remember! - Yup.

- Otherwise in the Magistrate's Court we don't know what to say.
- See you in court.

- No, that's the closet.
- To the left. - Sorry.

- Watch out for the third step, it's broken.
- Thank you.

- Did he pay you?
- Yes. - Liquid? - Yup.

- What's this ?
- Chianti.

- Dry? - Almost.
- "Anything goes."

- Has your client been compensated
?
- ''
highly indemnified ''
.

- How much ?
- I made him give 100 thousand lire!

- Did he pay you? - Sure.
- How much ? - 100 thousand lire.

-How is it possible, he gave you everything?
- There are expenses.

I sign everything, I'm picky. I don't
want you to say that I take advantage.

Look at the expenses.

"Marcella."

- Who is Marcella?
- The fee.

- Plot!
- I wrote it in the dark.

"Miscellaneous expenses: dense foot."
Quite right.

"Added expenses:
lateral and collateral."

- Expenses on the right, expenses on the left...
- Generally.

- "Mobile and immobile wealth."
- When we move.

- "LGE, AGI, AGIS, AGIP,
INCOM, INCASS. '
' -
I have cashed.

- Liquid?
- No, solid. Here it is.

- No, no!
- Of course ?

- A bill of exchange!
- It is the future of Italy.

I have told you many
times not to take bills.

- This one has Bruscolini's signature!
- This is Bruscatelli. - Exactly.

- So tell me. - Bruscatelli.
- So tell me. - Bruscatelli.

- Yes, I say: "then tell me".
- Bruscatelli.

- I understand, I said tell me...
- Bruscatelli!

- Bruscatelli!
- You tell me: tell me!

You did well, this supported.

I am not stupid ! I knew immediately
that he was a supported type.

Collect.

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR

(TOGETHER) One moment!

- Are you ready ? Hurry up.
- Forward !

- Posalaquaglia and Posalaquaglia?

Ah!

- Please, take a seat.
- I need a testimony.

- Cousin, a testimony!
- Yup.

- Sit down.
- I'm here because I can't sit down.

- He can not ? I understand.
- An interesting detail.

He forces us to remain standing.

- "Pardon"! Get up !
- Sorry.

Do we want to speed up the times?
Let's make a "verbal ''
.

- Where's the block?
- Huh?

- The block.
- There he is.

- Not that. - More block than this?
- The notepad.

- The notepad?
- Look in the drawer.

- There is not.
- Ah!

- You called ?
- Damn ! - Sorry.

- This man is an earthquake.
- Excuse him. - Here it is.

Miss...

# (CHORUS) Miss, don't
look at the sailors because... #

- You are crazy !
- No, I'm happy.

- This scares me sometimes.
-
You
tart singing. - it?

- I'm saying: Miss...
- Don't look at the sailors.

-Give me his general information.
- Capponi Lola.

- "Capons..."
- Capons, like hen.

- Hen or Capponi?
- Capons.

It is written Capponi, but it is as if
she were a hen. As if it were a biped.

- A strange thing happened to me.
- Where did you drop it?

No, sorry, you are ignorant.
He didn't fall, it happened to her.

- Remote past!
- I was walking with a friend of mine behind a plant.

- Behind Ciampino airport.
- Yup.

Suddenly a hunter shot me.

- Where did he shoot her?
-Eh...- he Can't sit! - Overleaf.

I have reported the hunter,
but I have no witnesses.

Did you understand ?
He has no witnesses. Sit down.

- Miss, now he has the witnesses.
- Ah!

Does he remember the tree behind the plant?

- That tree...
- It was me.

No, he was hiding
behind the tree.

- Remember the scarecrow on the wall
?
-
It was him.

-He scared the sparrows.
- I was behind the scarecrow. - Exactly.

- We are the witnesses.
- I understand.

-When you are called by the Magistrate's Court, we will intervene.
- Legally.

You have to make that scoundrel
pay the damages and send him to jail.

- Let's not advance...
- No, dear cousin, we need an advance.

- That's right, come on.
- Come.

Come on, miss. Beautiful young lady.

- Cash desk !
- How much do you pay? How much do you anticipate?

I don't live on income.

Get it all sorted out and we'll
make an agreement in the end.

We need money for the first
expenses, what can we do?

- If you don't pay in cash...
- You will pay in kind. - Like ?

He means: cured meats,
oils, fats, cheeses, pasta.

Yes, we also
accept pasta cooked.

In homage to its beauty, our
company accepts everything.

- All right, goodbye.
- See you later.

Watch out for the
step, the third is broken.

- Watch out for the dogs, they bite.
- The gray one is not.

- Beautiful girl.
- Gorgeous. You must be a countess or a baroness.

- A noble who goes after the plants
?
-
she's fallen!

I have to finish a job.

- I have to heat the macaroni.
- Which ?

Those left over from last night.
We need to strengthen ourselves.

- I want them al dente!
- They are already cooked.

- The tobacconist's coming.
- Who ? - The landlord.

- We have to give him 6 months!
- Did you give it to him ?
-
No and you ?
- No.

- Damn cuckold!
- Who ? - The landlord!

- Is he a cuckold?
- I do not know. Please, let's treat him well.

Always wrong!

- Forward. - Please, take a seat.
- Good morning.

-A little while ago my cousin was praising him.
- I am pleased to.

- You are welcome. - Thank you.
- Cousin, the hat. - Immediately.

I'll only stay two minutes.

- We were busy, we were preparing a BRIK-FIST.
- Like ?

My cousin mispronounces
English. A BRACO-FESSO.

- Breakfast, the first.
- It's the last one. - Let's hope not.

I need legal advice urgently.

I got it ? Legal advice!

- Then take a seat!
- Don't bother.

Please, take a seat. Please, take a seat.

- What are you doing ?
- It's my fault.

- Give the chair to the knight.
- Here. - Where do you put it?

- What do I do with it? I'm already seated!
- You're getting me drunk!

Here it is.

- Ah!
- Ah !!!

- What happens ?
- My foot! Raise your leg!

Not that one, mine!

- Mamma Mia !
- I'm sorry.

Why did you put your
foot under my chair?

- I'll explain in two words.
- We understand everything.

- Thing ?
- I don't know, what did he say?

- Let me talk. - She doesn't speak.
- One moment !

In addition to being the
owner of a tobacconist,

- I have apartments.
- Knight, let's not exaggerate.

- These aren't apartments, they're caverns.
- "Abitucoli".

- Really ? - Slums! - Caves.

- However they are rented!
- These are properties that make you. - Yup.

It is an excellent investment.

- While all the tenants pay the rent...
- Everyone?

- Everyone?
- Not everybody.

Someone has been occupying my best
apartment for 6 months without paying.

- Rascals. - Yes. - Scoundrels.
- Yes. - Delinquents. - Exotic!

Can I take legal action against
these defaulting tenants?

- Of course!
- Ssss!

- Of course... - Ssss!
- That's enough !

- It's assent.
- Cousin, let us talk.

He is natural, dear knight.

First of all: he can order them to be
evicted and put them on the street.

In SECONDIS: he can
ask for the help of the

Public Force in case of
reticence of the tenant.

- TERZERO... - Life imprisonment.
- Fourth... - Shooting. - Let's not exaggerate.

- "Let's not put the cart before the horse."
- Let's not exaggerate.

- If you want him you can.
- They deserve it. - In some cases, yes.

Cousin, sorry if I'm upset.

- So I can act legally?
- Sure. - Do it now.

- We wanna do something
?
-
What? - We write the minutes.

Yes!... I would say...
let's write the minutes.

- Do not joke !
- Don't you wanna take it cheerfully?

- Let me continue. Do we want to draft the minutes?
- Yup.

- We want to go ?
- Yup.

- Ah!
- What happened ?

- Ah! - What happened ?
- The knight's head. - Did he sting you?

- Like ?
- Knight... forget it.

Ah!

- What a warhead!
- I took it too. Let's do it soon.

- Power !
- Cavaliere, the name of the defaulters.

Don't you know?
Posalaquaglia and Posalaquaglia.

- Homonyms?
- Yup.

- There is no place to proceed.
- The fact does not exist.

Because it is a case of homonymy.
In one's own house it becomes an homonymy.

It's as if we
SELF-START, We can't...

- We can't "self-mobilize".
- That's enough !

It's you two: Posalaquaglia!
If you don't pay, I'll sue you!

Then ?
Knight, are we at the market?

If you raise your voice,
people will believe you are

- is creditor of at least 2 or 3 months!
- Six !

- Let's not say, two or six is the same!
- Six !

- How much do we owe you?
- 92 thousand lire.

- Give me 8,000 lire in change. I give you a 100 piece.
- Like ?

- What is this?
- A bill of exchange. - So ?

- Whose signature is it?
- Bruscatelli!

- Bruscatelli, the famous...
- Yes, the famous financier.

Very well. This signature satisfies me.

- But you have to turn it around.
- Okay, let's flip it!

No, sign it! Sign it!

- I'll sign it.
- He said "turn it"!

- I'll sign it. Do you have a "pen"? I only use it "ballpoint pen".
- Here.

- "Whoever uses ballpoint pen lives for a hundred years!"
- All right, sign.

- Knight, 8 thousand lire.
- All right.

- Here they are.
- Are they good?

- Done.
- The pen is mine.

-The pen belongs to him.
-
Yes...
also the bill!

- Did you get the 8,000 lire?
- Yup.

- Goodbye, knight.
- Goodbye and thanks.

And don't do as you
have done until now!

- See you later.
- See you later.

STROKES

- Who is it ? Who's talking ?
- Open up!

- What do you do ? - It happens often.
- Excuse me, knight.

- Knight... - Goodbye!
- See you later.

Cavaliere, pay attention
to the third stair...

Let's drop it.

THUD

Hello?
Do I speak to the
"House
of the Dog ''
?

Do you still have that Irish setter?

Fine, but he should
give me a cut.

All I can do to meet
you is 95 thousand lire.

All right, the dog belongs to him.
See you later.

Excuse me for a moment.

- Maria, can you come for a moment?
- (INTERCOM) Okay.

These are the "goodies"
for cats I was talking about:

dried fish. Great, right?

Excuse me for a moment.

- "Pedigree" and invoice for the setter.
- How much did you sell it for?

- 95 thousand lire.
- Really ?

Sure, it's a fair price!

- Get him to clean it up.
- Immediately.

My sister is a
great collaborator.

SINGS

- Paint! This is painting!
- I'd say it sculpts. - Quite right.

Pallino, be good.
See how others are composed.

I tell Michele!
Michele, Pallino has a tantrum!

Shot!

- Is it a boy?
- Yes, but we have...

- It's cruel.
- I agree with you, but when you work...

- How many screams!
- And how they escape!

Michele, what do you
think, do you approve?

I as a man... if they
played such a joke on me...

- I wouldn't imagine it...
- Michele, you can see very well that you...

Does he see himself?

That's it, next on.

It's my Desolina's turn.

Excuse me, I'll
finish styling Giusy.

- There he is ! Look at my treasure!
- He has human eyes!

- Maria.
- Yup ?

Give me 2 or 3
second size curlers.

Thank you.

- Good morning Miss.
- Good morning.

What a nice little dog! Does
he want a muzzle, a leash?

- A cover. - We also have thermal blankets.
- No thanks.

- I'd like a raincoat.
- Very wise.

- Goodbye, Michele.
- Arrive, Baroness.

- I'm really happy.
- I can not. - Please !

- Get her again.
- See you soon, Michele.

- Are you happy, Baroness?
- Michele is a great artist!

-In Rome he is the best!
- Sure, my Giusy just wants him!

It was a pleasure to serve you.

- What color do you want it?
- I do not like this.

I would like a "bluette"
color, but not the usual one.

A blue like that.

"Kill!"

It would be better to see it
outside, in the light "nature '
'.

No, the traffic would stop.

You Italians are always gallant.

- I'll take that.
- Yup.

Hi dear.

What's up ?

- I'll explain later.
- Yes, Mr. Michele.

- Are you calling me "her"?
- How dare you call me "you"?

- But we have to get married!
- We'll see.

- It was a pleasure.
- Thank you.

- Remember us.
- Thanks, get it.

- We are late.
- Sure, with that kind of customers...

For me, all customers are the same.

- The dog is settled.
- "Pedigree" and invoice. - Put it there.

- If clients come?
- I warn Michele.

- (INTERCOM) Michele?
- Yup ?

- Yup ?
- We go out, you can deliver the setter.

- All right.
- Here are "pedigree" and invoice. They are 95 thousand lire.

- 95 thousand lire?
- Yes. - Kill!

- Wow! - Take care of the store.
- All right.

- Are they leaving us alone?
- I'll stay!

- Exactly! We are 4 ladies and she...
- Would she be able to...

- What about?
- Man is a hunter.

- Mr. Michele, there is that of the dog.
- I'll come right away.

Desolina, don't run away!

Excuse me.

He managed to sell that
bastard! 95 thousand, kill!

Pure dog, dear sir!
He secured a sample!

I had chosen it for a long
time, I know about dogs!

He will see when it is
cleaned it will be wonderful.

A few curls, a refresh...

He'll cool off on the grass on
Sunday, won't he, Carmelo?

- Who is Carmelo?
- Him, can't I call him Carmelo?

Sure, the dog belongs to him.

- Here we have the "pedigree"...
- Will the hare sting?

- That? Sure !
- Very well.

So, invoice, stamps,
lGE, all inclusive.

Here are the 10,000 lire.
We actually had established 95,000.

Excuse me, he
didn't agree on cash?

Young man, it's signed
by Bruscatelli! This is gold!

- Bruscatelli.
- You know him, right?

- The wife is our client.
- Then ?

- Then I don't know if I'm doing well.
- It's gold!

- I don't know if I'm right to give you the change.
- Rest tip.

- 5 thousand lire?
- Yup.

The pen.

Signature and address.

Very well. Here's the rest.

- 5 thousand...
- No, we said...

- Right, what is said is said!
- Good.

-The bastard belongs to him!
- Like ?

- The sample !
- I understand! - I have seen !

Congratulations.

(MICHELE) Thank you, Madame Marquise.
Health and male puppies.

Shampoo and styling, please.

They abandoned her, she
must also act as a cashier!

Handyman artist! You are welcome.

- For her.
- I can not.

Please !

- Thank you.
- Arrive, Michele.

- Hi, Pallino!
- Say hello, Pallino! - Goodbye.

Se you later and many things!

DOOR OPENING

- Prince!
- (WITH SLAVO ACCENT) I'm back.

- How are you, dear prince?
- Good.

-Always at his service.
- The most beautiful women in the world are in Rome

- and I have to stand next to them.
- It's right.

Michele, I brought you Vassili
Vassilivic and lrina Serghievna.

Thanks for the thought, Highness, but
it's late, I don't know if we can make it.

- Two Scots are not two dachshunds.
- They are similar !

The dachshund is
Scottish with cropped legs!

All right, for you and for Vassili and
lrina we will do everything possible.

These are not just any
dogs, look what a beauty!

-You Who knows how many caresses of a woman!
- The most beautiful women in the world!

- All kisses, caresses!
-You see and hear!

Feel what a fragrance! What do you
do to women, prince? What does it do!

There is no magic!

Only my charm, my Slavic charm!

Slavic physicist, Slavic
eyes, Slavic pronunciation!

I am very exotic,
it is not my fault!

But sometimes the body is not enough.

- It's true, it's not enough. The woman wants boldness.
- It's true !

Exact.

When I see a beautiful
woman, I "jump" immediately!

- "I throw"!
-All right, she throws herself. Do you tell me?

We agree on this, but
can you tell me how?

Nice ! You are funny !

- You are friends with Vassili and lrina, so I want you to learn.
- Maybe.

- Do you see beautiful women?
- Sure, I'm not blind.

In fact, I want to tell you something.
I saw one right in here.

- Sorry. - Invite her to dinner right away.
- At dinner ?

Yes, but don't be vulgar.
Will you tell her...

-I understand I tell her: "Are you coming to dinner with me
?"
-
No! Mistake !

You tell her, in a
deep, velvety voice:

"Which brand of champagne,
caviar, oyster do you prefer?"

Oysters... the "slugs '
'?

No, snails taste like mud.
Sea oysters!

I understood, in the velvety voice...
oysters, champagne...

and she throws herself?

- No ! Not yet !
- I imagined.

You ask her for the brand of
champagne and wait for the answer.

-If she is a refined woman, she does not say the brand of champagne.
- No.

She says she is indifferent. If she
is not refined, she will say the brand.

-In that case, you send her away, she is vulgar.
- For me no !

-Only if she is refined she will say "indifferent"!
- indifferent.

Then continue.

- So you say, "What time can we meet tonight?"
- I understand.

- You say... ten. - For me...
- Maybe half past nine.

- Any time, why wait?
- You say ! You answer!

- You teach!
- do I play the part? I understand.

- I ask you: "What time?"
- Immediately ! - No, it's not dinner time.

- So at 8.
- No, too early.

At a quarter past eight?
But why do we have to wait?

- I get it, at 9.
- At 9 it's fine!

- It's that simple ! At 9 !
- I understood, thanks.

Michele, I leave you Vassili
and lrina. I'll be back in an hour.

Dasvidania vassili and
Irina, dasvidania Michele

Prince, one thing.
He didn't tell me the location.

- But this...
- Where do I take her?

You're so nice !

I tell you where you must
take the lady to seduce her.

- You have to take her where the music is.
- Music?

- Music!
- I did not think about it. - Music!

- You have to take her to the Piccadilly Club.
- Piccadilly Club.

Not a bad club. Rome does
not have good night clubs.

Rome has the clergy!

- Take her to the Piccadilly Club.
- I'm writing it now.

- Piccadilly Club is not bad.
- Thank you, Highness.

Remember, "go", "go"!

- Champagne...
- A slug... I remember.

You need a lot, a
lot, a lot of charm.

I'm sorry I can't lend you
my Slavic charm, but go for it.

- I'll be back in an hour.
- We will do what we can, Highness.

Kill this prince!

Come on, I'll make you beautiful.

Good morning.

- Good morning.
- Is Signor Ottavio here?

-No, he can tell me.
- Last year I bought a kitten here.

A gray Persian kitten.
Do you remember her?

- A gray kitten?
- Yup.

- What kind of oysters do you prefer?
- What's the matter with her?

Forget it.
Tell me, what's wrong with the kitten?

- The kitten has grown up.
- It happens.

She has become a young
lady and she would like...

- Would you like her husband?
- Yup.

"The cat on the hot roof".

Here is the husband!
Look what a beautiful cat!

- 800 lire per day for the rental.
- What a beast!

- Are you sure it's okay?
- Look at his profile!

I mean, are you of the same breed?

Yes, yes.
It is of the same breed.

And also...

Is good ?

What do you think of Piccadilly Club?

Piccadilly?

No, it's...

I meant: the
"pedigree" of the big cat.

- Try it and see it comes back.
- it?

- No, the kitten. She will be happy.
- All right.

I brought this sack for...

Let's go the big cat.

Good life, huh? They never
come to me with the sack.

- What does he say ?
- If there is spring for the animals...

- for us it should be the same.
- Please.

Yes, she begs her.

- Goodbye.
- Arrive, ma'am.

- Feed the cat.
- Eats a lot ?

Well, you will understand...

Let's go get the fleas out.
Here we go !

Is there anyone ?

Is there anyone ?

I said it wasn't the same color.

Is there anyone ?

What indecency!

(WITH SLAVO ACCENT)
This shop is a real indecency!

What a cute little dog!

Will you allow me to introduce
my Scots Vassili and lrina?

What a romantic encounter!

- What is the name of this cute little dog?
- Gigi, is a young lady.

What an unforgivable
mistake, I would like to repair!

On behalf of Vassili and lrina, I ask
you the honor of inviting you to dinner.

- At dinner.
-No, Gigi she is a respectable young lady.

Maybe that's right, Vassili
is a dangerous heartthrob!

That's funny !

I came here with nerves!

The color of Gigì's
waterproof is terribly wrong.

I was very angry, but
she made me laugh.

You have a lot of wit.

Prince Alessio CaldarrosKi.
Grand Hotel, apartment 16.

Grand Hotel. My name is
Odette Mercury, from Paris.

- Paris.
- her dogs are really beautiful.

They are a very award-winning
couple, they have won many trophies.

Little Gigì is also very pretty.

She is so small and she
needs so much protection.

- All animals need protection.
- It's true.

(SUBHEADING) I "throw" it.

Which brand of caviar, champagne,
snail... oysters do you prefer?

For me... it's indifferent.

(SUBHEADING) This has class!

Indifferent!
I understand what she means.

I'm waiting for you tonight, around 10.

- Where do we go ?
- I never know where.

But in a place where
there is a lot of music.

- This is my address.
- Good.

So tonight at 10
at my door... !

- Popó?
- Honk the horn.

Delightful image. Popó.

- (FRENCH ) Goodbye.
- See you later.

Michele, you are "in gear"!

Michele !

- Michele !
- Here I am !

- Michele !
- I'm coming.

- Is anyone still there?
- No, the old ladies are gone.

- The bastard's came.
- What bastard?

The "mixed", the half-caste.

-He paid?
- Sure.

He is in the cashier.

It's all OK.

- What is this?
- A bill of exchange.

- I see this.
- It's from Bruscatelli.

- Yeah, Bruscatelli.
- Bruscatelli!

No ! Bruscatelli...

- Like ?
- Maria, give me the newspaper.

Here is your Bruscatelli.

- I'll go get the dog right away.
-He can't. - I'm going there.

No, as long as this
doesn't protest, it's money.

- Then it's all right.
- I'm fine. - Luckily !

- All right.
- Thank God.

I'm... 100... 90.

- 95.
- No, 90.

Two months of your
salary: 45 plus 45 equals 90.

For the difference we will talk
about it later. I paid you 2 months.

What do I eat in these 2 months?

This !

DANCE MUSIC

- "Kill that dragon!"
- Like ?

(WITH SLAVO ACCENT) Dragur,
a popular festival in Petersburg.

Dasvidania.

ROMANTIC MUSIC

Prince, please!

- Prince, are you feeling bad?
- No, I feel great.

Dear, why burn the
sweet torment of waiting?

Soon to my house...

- In your house ?
-I thought you did me the honor of a visit from her.

- At home ? - Let's not talk about it anymore.
- No, let's talk more!

- No, that would be crazy.
- Let's do this crazy, take me to your house.

- Do you want ?
- "De corsa..." On the run!

My little nest is not a
palace, but it is very intimate.

We will go to your little nest.

Yes, vulture! But not immediately.

- Why not right away?
- We still have to get coffee.

No coffee! The bill! Coffee
is bad for my poor Slavic heart.

But it's good for my Parisian heart.

- Quick.
- I want to keep the flame of your desire burning.

- (SUBHEADING) What a "line"!
- What do you say ?

Caution ! Prudence, Alessio,
repress your atavistic instinct.

Don't hit, don't worry.

- Really ? Are you also capable of hitting?
- Yes sometimes.

Very interesting, very Slavic.

Quick, drink.

Cicci, where are you going?

-He recognized Michele, his hairdresser.
- Hairdresser ?

- What do you want, you ugly beast?
- Don't you like that beast?

- I love dogs except bums.
- As soon as he saw it, he immediately ran.

She greets Michele and take
away the trouble, good evening.

Michele ? Aren't you called Alessio?

My name is Alessio, Michele
is my brother, the Grand Duke.

She is crazy about Michele,
she sees him everywhere.

The lady has a lot of class and she
has a magnificent emerald on her finger.

It is a gift from my
brother Grand Duke.

It's a hobby of him. He doesn't
give business cards, but emeralds.

Dear, what is your hobby?

You know what it is.
You are my hobby. Here we go.

Bill !

Our family has a habit of
putting money all over the place.

Here we go.

- My little dresser!
- Welcome back, prince.

Watch your dogs.

Soave Lizzy! Dearest Lolita!

More and more beautiful,
more and more carnal!

This sense of Spain, of Italy, of
the Mediterranean! Very beautiful !

Always beautiful people...

What do I see! Very well !

Very well !
Did you follow my advice?

- Nice rascal, scoundrel!
- My brother is always joking!

Orchestra, some
music from our land!

Prince, don't ruin me.
You are my brother.

I love you like my brother,
especially when I'm drunk.

- Michele !
- Call me Alessio.

If I call you Alessio, I
remain without a name.

Then don't call me at all.

I wanted to introduce you
to my little friend Odette.

Enchanted! Good choice.

You too have chosen well,
she is the best tosacani...

(MICHELE) Go joke
with your friends!

He always jokes, he always plays!
The whole family always plays!

Now let's go play too.

(FRENCH IN) - Place your bets.
- The game is done.

- Hello dear.
- Good morning.

- Hey! - What's up ?
- It's 11 o'clock, I already had to stay at the "shop".

- How you speak ? Aren't you Slavic?
- No, I'm Roman.

So you tricked me and
you're not even a prince.

You said "shop",
are you a trader?

- Answer, are you a trader?
- In short...

Rogue, you are
a very nice villain.

You played the part of
the prince as a great actor.

- But you're rich, aren't you?
- Rich... well.

- Aren't you rich?
- You see...

- I don't have a penny!
- Ah!

- You don't have a penny.
- No.

So would you like to
leave on "two feet"?

- I have to go to work, otherwise how do I live
?
-
And me?

Stay calm, we'll see each other again.

Yesterday I offered you dinner
and champagne like a real prince.

- Give me your shoes.
You give me your real name.

- Give me your shoes.
- Where are the rubies you promised me?

- I thought that...
- I thought so too.

If you didn't introduce
yourself as a prince...

I get it, we screwed each other.

Wait up.

You take this money!

One moment.

Are you crazy ? Scoundrel!

I kept the 50 lire for the tram.
Don't get angry, I'll go on foot.

- What are they?
- Don't be offended, you can buy yourself a small ruby.

I don't even buy a fake one!

I don't have a lira, how should I tell you?

The dinner, the
champagne, the car, the dogs!

- What dogs?
- The dogs aren't yours either?

They are customers,
I shear dogs!

Are you a Tosacani?

I'm not a Tosacani, I'm
a "chaffeur des chienz".

- Give me your shoes.
- That would be too convenient!

You will go and shear barefoot dogs.
Otherwise call.

- To who ?
- I don't know, I want a token, otherwise don't go out.

Give me the key...
Wait a moment! Here it is.

- Keep! - What is
?
- Are 100 "bags" enough?

- It's a bill of exchange!
- It is signed on the front and back, it is regular.

You are a phenomenon, everything
has happened to me, dollars,

florins, pesetas, even rubles,
but a bill of exchange...!

At 4 months!

The tapir is the novelty of this year, it
is more fashionable than the reindeer.

- Really ? - Sure.
- She's very beautiful.

- If you want to try it, go to the rehearsal room.
- Over there ?

- Yes, please.
- Thank you.

(WITH FOREIGN ACCENT)
This model is too bold for me.

- I don't want to be noticed too much.
- Don't worry, they won't notice you.

- I don't want to be too flashy.
- Are you from Zurich?

- No, from the Canton of Ticino.
-So you go to that canton!

Excuse me.

- Olimpio.
- What's up ?

Excuse me.

That coat rack wants
something simple, go.

- But you were serving her.
- Let's change the ladies.

- I lose in the exchange.
- No, mine is Swiss, yours is French.

- Exchanges of currencies are prohibited.
- Who's the clerk? - it.

- Who is the master?
- Your wife.

- Okay, but who has been wrestling for 4 years?
- You.

Then I advise you to go.

- Is fine ? Find any flaws?
-No, she's perfect.

- You think ?
- I could be wrong. To be able to give an accurate judgment

she should take off her overcoat.

-If I take it off, she can't see anymore.
-If you take away the rest too...

- Olalá!
- Did you understand the allusion?

- (FRENCH IN) Sure.
-You are not offended?

- No.
- Then you can also combine.

- "Peut-etre."
- If I remember correctly "PEUT ETRE" means "maybe".

- Yes, maybe.
- In Italian, said by a beautiful woman, it means "yes".

It can also mean "it depends".

- Depends on what ?
- For example, from the cost of this overcoat.

You can rest assured, I can
make you a... amateur price.

- Where do we meet?
- At my home.

- This is my address.
- Well, at 9 tonight.

Even earlier, the goods will
be delivered the same day.

- The note for...
- Give it to me.

You come back from Switzerland
and apologize. We do the math tonight!

"Pardon".

She spies.

So are you taking this overcoat?

Sure, I've already made an
agreement with the other gentleman.

I'm sorry, but the other gentleman
doesn't count, the price is 10,000 lire.

- Isn't that gentleman a salesman?
- No, I'm the clerk.

- He's just the owner's husband.
- Sin.

Her conditions were
advantageous and much nicer.

That's what her mistress fears when
she sees him serving a beautiful woman.

Thanks for the compliment.
She is also very nice.

I could be even more,
but I can lose my job.

Unfortunately I can only
give you a 10,000 lire discount.

But I didn't ask for a discount.
I can pay just 10,000 lire.

I'm sorry, but we're taking
bills from known clients.

- We know each other.
- Just a few minutes.

If you come to see me, we can
get to know each other better.

- Know us in the biblical sense?
- Like ?

"Isaac met Rebecca
and Jacob was born."

- Agree ?
- Agree.

- But without Jacob.
- Sure.

Liar, hypocrite!
Didn't you accept the bill of exchange?

- No, it was Olimpio.
- He told me you took it.

He calls Olimpio and if he
has the courage to repeat it '

I spread it like a fig skin!

- Stop that ! And then Olimpio is not there.
- Where it went ?

- He went to pay disability contributions.
-He did well!

-When he comes back I make him invalid!
- Don't raise your voice!

Remember that I'm in charge here!

Even if I married you, it
doesn't mean anything.

This shop you pretend
to work in is mine!

The house where you
don't pretend to eat is mine!

The initiatives that spring from

your mind can only be nonsense.

I told you that
Olimpio took the bill.

- Don't insist!
- Olimpio is a salesman, I'm your husband.

- Do you believe him more than me?
- Yes thanks.

- You accepted the bill and I can prove it to you!
- Like ?

The ticket accuses you.
Miss gave it to you.

- For the delivery.
- Exactly!

Arrangements for delivery
are made after payment.

When I went in, you already
had the bill in your pocket.

- Or...
- What?

-Or she gave you the address for a different purpose.
- Which ?

- That over there ! - Not that one!
- Then you know what I'm talking about!

Now go to the young
lady, give her back the bill

and get the cash! Do you
know what cash means?

I shouldn't know because
you usually don't give me any,

- however it means "liquid".
- Exactly.

On the market, liquid is
the only solid thing there is.

- Go !
- But what if I go to get the liquid and find it "dry"?

- Then get your coat back.
- If you don't give it to me?

So don't go home,
go straight to the

hospital, so we save
the ambulance money.

Let's have Olimpio do
it, he's more suitable.

Olimpio went to
pay the contributions.

- Hi dear.
- Goodbye, dear.

-He will be back soon.
- Okay, but call first. - Sure.

- Miss Odette Mercury.
- Third floor. - Thank you.

- Do you have an appointment?
- Later, but it's urgent.

- Let's not exaggerate.
- What did you understand?

Arturo!
- Yup.

- Now he can go up.
- I believe it too.

Unfortunate, moron,
ignorant, idiot, idiot, filthy worm.

Are these the disability
and old age contributions?

Did I have to say that I was paying
the contribution to validity and youth?

Even nostalgic!
I would like to make you the "tie"!

- Is it bad?
- You know what I mean and you know I'm capable of it.

- Who? You ?
- Yup.

Why did you tell my
wife that I took the bill?

- I couldn't say it was me. - Why
?
-
she would have fired me.

- And would you be a man?
- There are those who can give you excellent references.

- Why are you here?
- Not for what you think or do.

Mine is a give
and take operation.

BELL

- She too !
- Yeah.

- Come.
- Very nice.

I wasn't expecting it, I've
already had other visits.

- That rascal Olimpio.
- Please, take a seat. - Thank you.

If he hadn't intruded,
she'd be fine now.

- I'm satisfied.
- You do, but I don't.

That tiger of my wife, seeing
the bill, pulled out her nails.

- Poor Olimpio!
- Not "poor Olimpio", poor me!

- Have a drink?
- Thank you.

In these cases I always lose.

My wife sent me here...

to give her back...
the thing is a bit unfortunate.

- I have to give you back...
- The
bill. - Exactly.

- In exchange for cash.
- She goes out of her way to help me.

- He understood perfectly.
- Yes, I understand, but I have no cash.

It doesn't matter, my
wife would propose this.

I give her back the bill and
she gives me back the poor tapir.

- And Olimpio?
- What does Olimpio have to do with it?

Olimpio cannot give
back what he got.

Cursed ! It's true.

In these cases it is said:
"Whoever gave, he gave, he gave.

Who has had, had, had...
"# Scurdammoce 'or passed... #

I had the tapir
and his wife the bill.

By law you can pay with
bills, what can make him wife?

To her, nothing... but to me, yes!

If I come home without a
tapir, I'm completely ruined.

- A little courage.
- My wife has too much courage.

I tell her. You have to know how
to deal with a wife. Being men.

I, modestly... you observe.

But when I'm in front of
my wife, I'm just a husband.

I understand, it takes
something to make you a man.

Me without tapir...

Okay, I'm going to get it.

WHISTLE

- I wanted to wear it for the last time.
- I see.

It doesn't hurt to return it,
the straight line doesn't fit her.

Will you help me take it off?

Gladly, you need a
model that highlights you.

This model ?

Don't make a tragedy of it.

My wife will make a tragedy
if you come back with the bill.

"Promissory note" rhymes
with hospital and funeral.

- Death is a great comforter.
- Don't be an idiot.

I absolutely have to
find 100 thousand lire.

I know a bank teller who would
give us more than 10 thousand lire.

- What are we waiting to go there? What does it take
?
-
A revolver.

Gentlemen, 10,000 lire as a prize
to those who beat this destroyer!

Alfredo, they give 10,000 lire
to whoever beats that fighter!

- It's the hand of fate!
- But that hand changes my connotations.

- Let's go there and challenge him.
- The two of us ? It is not regulatory.

- You fight, I'll be your second.
-
You a
re crazy.

- You were regional champion and are you afraid?
- I'm out of practice.

- I can not.
-He is twice your age!

-He also has double my weight.
- You are scared !

It is not a regular match and
there is also the risk of taking them.

- Your wife is sure to send you to the hospital.
- What if they don't pay us?

- Hit him first and then the master.
- Stop that.

- A strong man like you! Beat him now!
- Let's think.

Silence ! Silence ! Silence !

Ladies and Gentlemen...

RASPBERRY

Silence !

Now the fight will start and will
have 100 thousand lire at stake!

Among the Nordic champion Ursus.

APPLAUSE

And the challenger, the
brave doctor Alfredo Balzarini.

WHISTLES

Silence !
Now the challenger enters the ring.

Silence !

Whoever loses, will have to
give 100,000 lire to the winner.

- What if I lose?
- You can't lose, in case we give him the bill.

- Can we ask for a postponement?
- They don't have to execute you.

- I'm afraid so.
- Be calm.

GONG

SCREAM OF ENTRY

Alfredo, it's yours! Good boy !

What are you doing, sleeping ?
If you don't win, I'll hit you!

Remember you have
to win, think of your wife!

GONG

She pulls my hair out!

It is not valid,
hair is forbidden!

- The hair is not worth!
- Get his pants off!

VOICES OVERLAP

Alfredo. Alfredo?

LAUGHS

What a beautiful champion!

- Did you give him the bill?
- Yup.

It shows.

Countess, I am always up-to-date
both for colors and models.

This morning these two
models arrived from Florence.

- Alfredo! Olimpio, what happened?
- Nothing, dear.

- Who treated you like that?
We're just a little messed up.

- Nothing happened.
- We went to pay taxes.

- What taxes?
- What taxes?

The additional income tax, the
sign tax and the supplementary tax.

- And to pay the taxes they did this to you?
- Taxes ruin.

- Nonsense, who hit you?
- It was the anonymous crowd.

- What crowd?
- the taxpayers, in front of the counters.

In Italy they
fight to pay taxes.

"I'll pay! No, I'll pay first!"

It is a short step from words
to deeds. Then you know me...

- Have you at least paid your taxes?
- (TOGETHER) Yes.

It took some strong
recommendations, but...

- Lady, you are busy. I'll be back.
- Excuse me, countess.

She-she I'll come back to her another day.
- Goodbye.

If you paid your taxes, it was
all right with that girl, right?

(TOGETHER) Yes.

-Have you paid in cash?
- Yes, one on top of the other.

-She took back the bill without resisting
?
-
No!

Good ! This will serve you as a lesson!

No more bills of
exchange are accepted!

The protest diagram
continues to rise frighteningly.

The diagram shows the
development of my financial enterprise.

As you can see I'm
back to the starting point.

- Did he leave jail?
- The prison is a great institution!

It is difficult for a
businessman to go there, but

when they put him there,
they do him a great pleasure!

If you sign a bill, you can rest assured
for 4 months, but then you have to pay.

If you are in jail, you don't
pay. They can't demand

anything because you paid
your debt to the company with jail.

So when you go out you can
start over with the hidden money.

The real failure is if you stay
out and have to pay the bills.

- Those who took the bills don't say anything?
- Yes, they say.

They say a lot of bad words if you don't pay.

They send you a lot of damn,
curses. They don't thank you.

- They don't do anything else?
- Yes, but it's a problem between them.

The bill goes a long way,
covered with signatures.

Eventually, if he
protests, trouble begins.

It is a kind of
"Sant'Antonio Chain '
'.

Whoever has a protest
bill tries to get the money

back or to take back the
goods that he sold him.

If he succeeds,
otherwise the acts begin.

So stamp papers, lawyers...

There is a mistake, my husband
has already paid these taxes.

It doesn't show up and she
doesn't have a receipt to prove it.

- Receipts from my husband.
-If he doesn't pay, I have to foreclose.

- I don't pay!
- Then I proceed.

She takes advantage of it
because my husband is not here.

- Olimpio, come here!
- Yes Madam.

Remember the day he paid
his taxes with my husband?

That episode escapes me.

- It was the day that Alfredo collected the money from the bill.
- Oh yes.

- You explain it to her.
- it?

- Do you wish?
- Are you the llaria BOOTIQUE company? - Yup.

The bill went in
protest, what do we do?

- I didn't sign any promissory notes.
- There is the stamp of your company.

This is the tapir's bill!

- Who gave it to you?
- That over there.

- Olimpio! What is this all about ?
- I... - Explain!

He knows better than
me, I'm just the clerk.

You have arrived, now the two
of us have a nice little speech.

GLASSES THAT BREAK

They could send the cards
to clients, couldn't they?

- We sent them to everyone.
- I didn't get it.

- Do you wish?
- Mr. Michele. - There is not.

- Marries. - Ah!
- My Giusy has to give up styling.

- Marries ?
- With the boss's sister.

- Goodbye, Giovanni.
- Goodbye, Baroness.

Giovanni, I should give Signor
Michele a little surprise, where is he?

CROSSING VOICES

I met her as a child,
they lived in Velletri.

Don't start eating
sweets, they're bad for you.

BELL - Enrichetta!

What a mess !

- Do you wish?
- I'm the waiter.

Ottavio! Wait a moment.

Ottavio!

- Ottavio!
- Yes, aunt?

- Where do I send the waiter?
- in the dining room. - Very well.

- Stop eating.
- The marzipan was odd...

At least "eat them"
after the wedding.

- You were supposed to get married dressed like that?
- I have the "striped" like yours.

Like mine ? It is useless to
argue, there is striped and striped!

- At least put on your tie.
- Bravo, fix it.

Let's talk about this "you".

You will call me "you" in front of
people to keep up appearances.

But in the shop I'm the boss
and you are a clipper, right?

- Yup ?
- After the ceremony, can I call "you" to Maria?

Don't be funny!

- A young lady wants Signor Michele.
- What have you done ?

Anything !

- Hold me the marzipan.
- No, I want to check it out for myself.

- Good morning.
- Miss, it's an honor to see you again.

I learned that Signor
Michele is getting married.

So I thought I'd
give him a little gift.

- Thanks, you shouldn't have bothered.
- This, scoundrel!

Maybe it would be better...
Sorry, Ottavio, it's a delicate thing.

They are family!

Did you understand that you made up?
I'd break your face!

- Instead I have to get you to marry my sister.
- Where can I find 100 thousand lire?

- Not from me!
- Who asked you for them?

- One does not want, the other cannot. We hear what the bride says.
- No !

- That blinds my eye!
- We don't make scandals!

- The servant now too!
- What do you want ?
- Vinegar.

- Why ?
- Miss Maria has fainted.

- She's passed out! You wait a moment.
- I'm in no hurry, I'm not moving.

- Does Maria feel bad?
- It will be the emotion!

-She She's such a sensitive girl!
- Don't get upset, it's the emotion.

- Leave me alone!
- Stay calm, let's see that it can be done.

- What happens ? - It's her dress.
- Life does not fit me!

- That was fine!
- Now it won't fit me!

- Madam, it can be unpick.
- Shut up ! - Shut up ! - Shut up !

- Why didn't you try it?
- I tried it! I'm not getting married!

- Don't talk nonsense!
- I don't want to go out like an idiot!

I don't put it on, I throw it away!

The wedding dress!
They don't get married anymore!

- Miss! - Yup ? - Come.

- Don't do that, call the seamstress!
- We phoned.

Now come and fix your dress.

Do not despair, you are
beautiful even without a dress.

- What are you doing here ?
- The groom must not see the bride.

- When are you going to stop getting me in trouble
?
-
Where is it?

- Enrichetta, where is the young lady? Sh
e-she She's gone. She left this.

The bill! She is convinced,
she is basically a good girl.

Miss said you will get
your wedding dress

back when you bring
her what you know.

- (TOGETHER) The dress?
-Yes, she took him away.

She's a good girl, right?
I'd break it... let's be calm.

- You give me these... you give them to me.
- We don't even talk about it.

- But... - Do you have an idea?
- Come with me.

- Enrichetta, if they're looking for us, we'll be back in 10 minutes.
-
Okay .

Long last ! Please, take a seat.

Madam, the seamstress has arrived!

You must excuse me, a
misunderstanding has happened.

This moron brought
here the Confirmation

dress of the accountant
Gattuso's daughter.

-Here is her beautiful dress!
- Have you seen? All settled.

You are a jewel!

- Plus 19 thousand and we get to 60 thousand.
- A nice refueling.

- We wish we had so many customers like that.
- I'm in a hurry.

50 "Turmak", 16 thousand and cigars...
100 thousand exactly.

- Wait a minute, I'll call someone for the packages.
- You are welcome.

- Michele ! - I'm here.
- Get the packages.

- Done.
- His 100,000 lire.

- It's a joke ?
- Yes, like what you did to me

when you came with the bastard.

By the way, tip?

- Should I call the guards?
- Calm down, lady.

-Does the endorsement signature belong to you?
- Yup.

- What does it mean ?
- Please, lady.

- Is the protest in order?
- Yup.

- Is your conscience okay?
-
But...

- Give me a box of matches.
- Here. - Does this pay you?

Bring the bastard to Sanremo,
make him "bet" at roulette.

Another cue, one of "Camel".
50 packs of "Turmak"...

- And 50 of "Turmak".
- Basically it's 100 thousand lire.

- As if it were cash.
- Sure.

I wasn't short of cash, but I had
to teach the gentleman a lesson.

It is clear that you
are a gentleman.

Sir...

However...

Well?

- Then ?
- Go, I'll join you.

- The dress ?
- He's on the bed.

Go, you know the way.

Yes, I know her, yes.

Here it is.

- What are you doing ?
- Anything.

- "Souvenir", dear?
- Just a "souvenir".

Once in a
life...

- Still worth it.
- Very nice.

Remember that you
are done now! Finished !

- Sure, just imagine that Maria made me do the "foil".
- Which ?

- I quit smoking.
- Well, save.

What savings?
She started smoking!

- This is my little wedding gift.
- Thanks, it's very kind of you.

- Very well.
- Then goodbye.

One moment, leave me this cue.

Hi !

I understand. (SLAVO) Goodbye.

- Good morning, lawyer.
- Hi.

Do you know the lawyer?
Is she a client of him?

No, he is my client.

- Hi, Lola.
- Hello Beautiful !

- Forested.
- All forested.

- Are you sure it's here?
- Very sure. - Yes, it's section 1.

- Capponi Lola! - I go, please!
-You don't worry.

- Do you remember everything?
- Yup.

- Who am I?
- I do not know.

- You're my cousin, Posalaquaglia.
- Yes but...

- Remember, you're the scarecrow.
- I was behind the scarecrow.

- Who are you ? - The tree.
You tood behind the tree.

-The young lady you did?
- I do not know.

- Miss...
- Miss shot the hunter.

No, the hunter
shot the young lady.

- The young lady came to us...
- For the perjury.

So we go to jail,
do you understand?

- I don't want to end my old age in jail.
- Sure.

It scares me.

It's here, the section.

-We have to wait a few minutes, we're in the Magistrate's Court, do you understand?
- Yup.

Look who you see!

I wanted to come to your
house, but those damn steps...

- Let them sit down. - Knight.
- How are you ?
-
So...

What penalty is foreseen for
those who do not pay the bills?

What he wants...

If you were to send people
who don't pay bills to jail '

- Italy would be a desert.
- Inquire, knight.

I did it. I'm talking about your
bill of exchange, that of Bruscatelli.

- He's in protest. - Bruscatelli didn't pay?
- It is not possible !

- Pretty, this!
- # Cute, gets prettier every day. #

Didn't Bruscatelli pay?
I don't want to see it.

- Don't show it to him. - Like ?
- I don't want to see her.

- Destroy it.
- I'm not destroying anything!

- How do we want to solve?
- It takes patience, Commander.

- See you later.
- One moment. Lawyer, come on!

- Have you called the lawyer yet?
- Yes. - Shall we go to jail?

- What's up ?
- They are the two of the Bruscatelli bill.

- Posalaquaglia.
- Inpaper.

- Paper. - "Wrapped".
- Lawyer Incarta. - Posalaquaglia.

- I'm his lawyer.
-He is following another cause of mine.

- Another cause?
- Yes, I have a lot of trouble.

Did you understand ?
He has a lot of "sawdust".

- Were we suing for a lot of sawdust?
- Sometimes it gets wet...

- No, damages, blackmail.
-
Do you have
witnesses ?
- No.

- Unfortunately there aren't.
- You are lucky! - We are here !

- It's our job.
- It's our profession.

- Would you be willing to...
- If we agree.

- Lawyer, there are these two crooks...
- Who? - We !

- They'd be willing to testify for me.
- I'm against.

But do as you like, I don't
know anything, I don't feel!

If you return Bruscatelli's
bill to us, we testify.

Get this fool away!

- How dare you?
-She said she didn't hear. - Yes!

So sorry on behalf of my cousin.

- Themistocles needs.
- We come right away!

Lawyer, explain how
they have to testify.

- We are in the dark!
- I'll enlighten you.

On the evening of May 24, at 7
pm, you were in via 4 November

at the corner with Silvio
Spaventa at Caffé Pietro Micca

sitting on a bench with him.

- I know him. - One moment.
- I remember everything!

(TOGETHER) 24 May at 7
pm in Via 4 Novembre at the

corner with Silvio Spaventa
at Caffé Pietro Micca.

- Remember, Pietro Micca!
- I recommend!

- And that's all !
- Did you understand ?

- Do you remember everything?
- I know everything by heart.

24 May... Silvio Spaventa's
corner... with Silvio Pellico...

- That we did ?
- Silvio Pellico was on the bench.

- Knight.
- What's up ?

- Excuse me, but he forgot the bill.
- Later, later.

No, now, now! "Life and death
are in the hands of the Lord."

- Why should I die and not you
?
-
There are two of us.

- It's the same.
- Trust me, knight. - Trust me.

But I recommend!

BELL - Come on! Let it pass.

Silence! - It's the commissioner.
- The Praetor!

Is it the Praetor? Take off your hat.

Capponi Lola, affirm
that at 7 pm on May 24 '

near Ciampino airport,
Temistocles Bisogni

- did he hit you from behind with a shot from a shotgun?
- Sure.

You claim you can
produce eyewitnesses.

- Eyepieces, Mr. Praetor.
- (JUDGE) Eyepieces.

While the accused,
Bisogni Temistocles, says

that at 7 pm on May
24th he was in company

of friends who knew
him at Caffé Pietro Micca.

Sure, Mr. Praetor.

- Ouch! Ouch!
- What happened ?

- Do you know who the hunter is?
- No. - Our landlord.

Are not you happy ? What does it mean ?

It means that we are witnesses
for and against in the same cause.

"With one stone
we kill two birds!"

- When fortune telling!
- When it is said that one is fool!

- You ? - No, you!
- How do you know it ?

- Chancellor, let's hear the witnesses.
- Yup.

- Posalaquaglia and Posalaquaglia.
- Should we come? It is necessary ?

(CHANCELLOR) It is essential.

- Is closed.
- (CHANCELLOR) Open up!

- Goalkeeper!
- (CHANCELLOR) Push. - Thank you.

- Dearest Commander, how are you?
- Which commander?

- It's the Praetor. - Sorry. - I'm the judge.
- How's it going ?
-
Good.

- What pride! - A few small talk.
- Are you the witnesses? - Yes sir.

- Do you want to put down
?
-
Where? - Here! - Yes, yes.

- We lay down. - We're here now.
- Chancellor, swear.

Raise your right hand, swear
to tell the truth, the whole truth.

- You say I swear.
-I didn't understand what he said.

Raise your right hand, swear
to tell the truth, the whole truth.

- You say: I swear.
- I swear.

- See you later. - Where are you going ?
- We swore. - Come here!

-After swearing he takes his place.
- Yes. - Do you want to testify ?
-
What?

What happened on May 24th?

- Forget it now...
- No. What happened on May 24th?

- In front of all these people?
- Yes, that's what people are here for.

- I'm hoarse.
- It does not matter.

- He knows too.
- I have to know!

- Let me hear May 24!
- All right !

"The Army was marching
to reach the frontier

and make a barrier
against the enemy!

- You had to keep quiet!
"- You keep quiet!

Stop! We are not at the variety!

- She told me to sing!
- it?

Mr. Praetor, I would like to say how
things stand, I would like to testify.

We feel !

- Forgive my cousin, he's a little confused.
- I see.

- May 24?
- What happened on May 24?

I remember well. I arrived in
Ciampino with my personal plane.

- Do you have a personal plane?
- Yes, in the Netherlands.

Once in Ciampino I
can't find my cousin.

I set out on foot because
there was not even a car.

Then I "intrude" in a bush.

- A bush? - Do you know the bush
?
- No. - Yup.

In that bush there was a knight.

The knight...
there is a reason why he is a knight.

Not because he had a horse... at a
certain moment I hear "boom, boom"!

A shot from a rifle.
I turn around and see the dead hen.

Not the hen, the
POLLANCA, the capon!

- The Capon!
- Miss present.

-Yes, she was hit.
- Who hit her?

One moment, Mr. Praetor.

- I'll take... I'll give the capon first aid.
- this way.

And I immediately go
to the city because I had

to reach Silvio Pellico's
Café... Di Spaventa.

I was frightened because
I did not find Silvio.

Here comes the
knight from before!

Not with the horse, but without!

I find that knight,
who is our landlord.

- I got confused. - The boatswain.
- I "cheated" a little.

- But I told the truth.
- (JUDGE) The truth?

- Now he speaks.
- I understood everything.

- You have understood ?
- I marked everything.

- I say the same thing.
- Now lay down you. - Yes sir.

Come on, stop!

- What do you know?
- About what ?

- On May 24. But without singing.
- All right.

- Mr. General.
- I'm not a General!

They will.

- I'm just a judge.
- Just judge.

I came from Africa, to
be precise from Turkey '

with my personal steamer.

- Do you have a personal steamer?
- Yes sir.

I got off my steamer because I
was also from the Netherlands.

But I left the Netherlands because
being short, I had to stay stooped.

So I went to Turkey. After
many hours of travel I got off...

- and I went after the bush.
- You too.

I had an appointment with him.

While I was shouting: "Where
are you, cousin Posalaquaglia?"

I see a hunter...
but he was not a hunter.

So how do you know
he was a hunter?

-Because he shot the "pigeon".
- To the pigeon?

- The pigeon...
- Alla Capponi.

- Alla Capponi! - Lola Capponi!
- Then she knows!

- Sure, it's on file.
-He knows everything.

I hear: "Boom, ta,
ta, ta, ta, ta. Bum!"

- The European war! What do you feel?
- One shot.

- You too !
- That hit my cousin.

- My cousin, who shot the young lady...
- Him? - No !

- Did you shoot the young lady?
- No !

- Yes. - What are you saying?
- It was not you ? - No I was wrong.

- Make no mistake, tell the truth.
- Yes sir.

I took my cousin by the arm and we
went to the café on November 27th.

Was it 27? No, 14... 24 May!

I asked: "Is the bar by Silvio
Spaventa?" They replied: "Yes."

Then I asked: "Is there
Pietro Micca? And they:" No. "

- Then ?
- That's all.

- I understood everything.
- Yes, you are right.

- It's clear. - Of course.
- Do you know what I understand?

- I understand that you are two false witnesses.
- Yes sir.

- It's true ? - Don't be heard.
- Everyone must feel it!

Do you know what happens when there
are two false witnesses in the courtroom?

- There is immediate arrest.
- Bravo, you are practical.

- The immediate arrest on the spot!
- Yes sir.

- Brigadier!
- Arrest the commissioner! Silence !

Good morning.

Good morning.

- Empty your pockets.
- Poor fellow. Allows? My cousin.

- We have nothing. - Anything ?
- Otherwise we weren't here.

Wait.

Welcome back, Commander.

- Done.
-I am grateful for her intervention.

- What did I tell you?
- I had no doubt.

- Excuse me, there will be some formalities.
- You are welcome.

- When I came in, I left a suitcase.
- Sure, Commander.

The suitcase of
Commander Bruscatelli.

- No, I put it aside.
- Thank you.

- Bruscatelli!
- Ouch!

- Give me the bill.
- Why ?

- Let me do it.
- Ah, Bruscatelli!

Excuse me, Commander,
there would be this bill of yours.

- He made it to that young Piedmontese man.
- Piedmontese?

- 100 thousand lire.
- Yes I remember !

Weird... let's fix it right away.

- Miss, fix this. -How much is he?
- 100 thousand.

- A nonsense. Let's renew it.
- Thank you, Commander. - You are welcome.

- Very nice.
- There is no precedent, who knows what happened.

- Done. This is for you.
- You know how it is!

- Goodbye and best wishes.
- Thank you. - You too.

- Your suitcase, Commander.
- Very well.

- You are welcome.
- Absolutely not, I owe you too much.

Another bill of exchange. What do we need it for?

- So nothing to deposit?
- Anything. - Here we go ?

I wanted to ask, also on behalf
of my cousin, how is it here?

- As in all prisons.
- What questions ! Is it good to eat?

The food is good, but the
extras are paid separately.

- They pay us the extras separately.
- Are you stupid ?
-
He said so.

You pay them separately. He
deposits money and then shirks.

- We have the coffee bar here.
- Do you have a canteen? - Yup.

You order and we deduct.
Do you have money?

- We have no money.
- So... - But...

- But what?
- We have this.

- A bill of exchange? - Yes.
- But... -
Bruscatelli!

- There is Bruscatelli's signature!
- Bruscatelli?

- That gentleman...
- Then Bruscatelli supports the bar.

- Turn it over and leave it in storage.
- I told you! - Long live Bruscatelli.

- Pierino, cell 247.
- Long live Bruscatelli!

- Done. Thank you very much.
- Goodbye.

Keep it well.

Good stay.

- You are welcome. - No.
- Cousin, please. - I get angry.

- You are welcome.
- Thank you.

I forgot, tomorrow wake up
at 9 with a light cappuccino.

- And some newspapers.
- Thank you.