Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:04,072
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,612
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
3
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,283
[FATHER SIGHS]
4
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,750
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
5
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:17,918
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
6
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:21,489
Honey, it's family hour,
there must be something on.
7
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:29,363
DAUGHTER:
Oh, wow, Candy Critters!
8
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:33,967
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
9
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,304
Oh, great. It's Monsters,
our favorite show!
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
10
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,439
Shh, it's starting.
11
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,511
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
12
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,279
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
13
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,186
[GREEK INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
14
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:05,233
MAN: "O beautiful
for spacious skies,
15
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,468
"For amber waves of grain,
16
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,304
"For purple mountain majesties
17
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,174
"Above the fruited plain!
18
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:16,477
"America! America!
19
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,747
"God shed his grace on thee
20
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:23,217
"And crown thy good
with brotherhood
21
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:27,488
"From sea to shining sea!"
22
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,356
[CHUCKLES]
23
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:31,459
"With liberty
and justice for all."
24
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,328
Ah. "For all."
25
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,364
Yes. Good.
[CHUCKLES]
26
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,465
Yo, Herc man,
you don't hurry up,
27
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,700
you're gonna be
pledging allegiance
to the janitor
28
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,236
in the hallway
while he pushes the broom.
29
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,305
You know they close up
if you're late, right?
30
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,774
Are you kidding?
Would Doris let that
happen to me?
31
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,709
[CHUCKLES]
32
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,278
[SIRENS WAILING]
[BELL TINKLES]
33
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,148
Yo, baby,
what it is?
34
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,551
HERCULES: Sorry, miss,
the kitchen is closed.
35
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,520
Maybe you can
come back tonight, eh?
36
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,523
Hello, Mr. Valvalotus.
37
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,458
You know me?
38
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,661
Maggie Price.
Immigration and
Naturalization Service.
39
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:08,796
I'm your new case worker.
40
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,599
Where is Doris?
41
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,866
On leave of absence.
42
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:15,703
She's pregnant.
43
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,172
[MOUTHS] Whoa.
44
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,808
Not surprised?
45
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:21,842
It happens.
46
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,445
Mr. Valvalotus,
47
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,248
your application
for naturalization
is incomplete.
48
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,750
Your files
reveal no record
of a physical examination.
49
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,319
Well, this is all
taken care of.
50
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,853
I think you should
talk to Doris.
51
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,955
She can help you.
52
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,925
One half hour
I take oath of citizenship.
53
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,693
Not without the physical.
54
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,729
But this is not fair.
This is...
55
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,899
I think we should
discuss, Maggie.
56
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,469
[CLEARS THROAT]
57
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,205
I mean, you can see
that I am strong, healthy.
58
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,441
For me, a physical
is ridiculous.
59
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,309
[CHUCKLES]
60
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,578
Come on,
give me a break, huh?
61
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,747
I've heard all about you,
Mr. Valvalotus.
62
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:00,981
So I'll lay it right out.
63
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,883
If you ask me
to falsify your application,
64
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,552
I'll deport you,
and I mean it.
65
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,521
Do you hate me, huh?
66
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,393
Or are you hiding
your heart from me, huh?
67
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,329
You're breathing
on my neck.
68
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,600
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh.
69
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:22,736
You are not so cold
as you play.
70
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,841
I can feel
your heart beating.
71
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:31,011
Boom, ba-ba-boom.
Ba-ba-boom.
72
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,814
Never mind my heart,
Mr. Valvalotus.
73
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,550
Article 15, subsection 32
point 17
74
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:39,253
of the United States
Immigration Statutes
stipulate
75
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,488
that foreign nationals
must demonstrate that
76
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,522
they are
free of bodily disease
77
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,691
to gain eligibility
for citizenship.
Okay?
78
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,426
Okay.
79
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,329
You can expect an INS doctor
first thing tomorrow.
80
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,463
It's your decision.
81
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,732
Take the physical
or pack your bags.
82
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,937
Have a nice day, honey.
[BELL TINKLES]
83
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,608
Man, that witch
is cold.
84
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,477
This is no good.
85
00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:04,912
Finally found one
you couldn't handle,
huh, Herc?
86
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,414
What? Her?
87
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,717
No.
But even I need time.
88
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,051
And this doctor
comes tomorrow.
89
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,686
I often have problems
with men
90
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,489
jealous of my great
success with women.
91
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,857
Exactly what is wrong
with you, Hercy?
92
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,292
You got a problem
or something like that?
93
00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:19,760
It's nothing,
it's a birth defect.
94
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,995
But many people
are prejudiced with it.
95
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,064
That's why
I came to America.
96
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,499
Land of the free.
97
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,771
Luis, you are
my best friend
in America.
98
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:33,674
You know how important
this is to me.
99
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,910
From you I need
a very large favor.
100
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,479
Oh, I, I don't know,
Herc man,
101
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,881
I got a date at 7:30 p.m.
with three models and...
102
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,951
Oh, you poor woman.
103
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,687
[PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING]
104
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,963
Oh, Maggie.
105
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,798
Did you catch up
with Valvalotus?
106
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,066
Yes.
107
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,435
So, how was he?
108
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,003
The worst kind
of pick-up artist.
109
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:03,971
Come right on to you.
110
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,708
No subtlety, no finesse,
insulting, degrading.
111
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,844
He just stares at you
with these bedroom eyes,
you feel him
112
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,813
stripping you
with these eyes.
113
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:13,947
[CLEARS THROAT]
114
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,384
It's so raw.
115
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,887
Uh, blatant.
116
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,391
Yeah?
117
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:27,528
So you think he was
the one who, you know, Doris?
118
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,697
Oh, yeah,
she as much said so.
119
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,766
He even tried to suave me
out of making him
take the physical.
120
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,834
[LAUGHS]
121
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,868
How far did he get?
122
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:39,072
[GREEK INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
123
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:06,834
[EXHALES]
124
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,871
[PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING]
125
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:14,975
"Hercules".
126
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,960
[BEEPING]
127
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:33,961
[LINE RINGING]
128
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,195
WOMAN: [OVER PHONE]
Medical services.
129
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,997
Yes, hi,
this is Maggie Price.
130
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,667
I was just wondering
if Dr. Shiller
was running on schedule.
131
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:40,934
One moment, please.
Thanks.
132
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:42,603
Look at this.
133
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,705
Thinks he can buy me
with coffee
and a danish.
134
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,173
Want that?
135
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,107
WOMAN: Dr. Shiller
isn't in today.
136
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,042
Dr. Moss is covering
for him.
137
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,479
Dr. Moss?
Who's Dr...
138
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,514
Dr. Moss?
Yes, that's right.
139
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,749
Done with this?
140
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,150
They sent Moss
to Valvalotus.
141
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,819
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
142
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,797
Yo, baby, but you said
you will go out with me.
143
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,832
Now I wanna go out with you,
you don't wanna go out with me.
144
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:12,966
[DOOR SHUTS]
What's...
145
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:14,702
Forget it.
146
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,071
Oh, baby,
can I help you?
147
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:20,908
I'm Dr. Moss.
148
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,511
I have an appointment
with Hercules Valvalotus.
149
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,880
That's me.
Let's do it.
150
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,582
You're Hercules Valvalotus?
151
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,651
Baby, I'll be anybody
you want me to be.
152
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,019
Pardon me, miss.
153
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,154
Yes?
154
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,558
You're the doctor
from the INS?
155
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,596
II'm Hercules.
156
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:45,633
My friend here
was just playing
a little joke.
157
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,067
[CHUCKLES]
158
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,001
I love jokes.
159
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,541
You know, I am a little
bit shy about this
160
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,877
getting naked in front
of a beautiful woman.
161
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,647
It is very new to me.
162
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:03,050
Oh, I understand.
163
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,185
But I'm a highly
trained professional.
164
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:09,289
And I just bet
I can find a way
to help you relax.
165
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,157
Oh.
166
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,593
There, isn't that
better already?
167
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,627
Yes.
168
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,264
HERCULES:
Of course it is true.
169
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:19,199
[HERCULES AND MOSS LAUGHING]
170
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:23,737
MOSS: MM-hmm.
171
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,040
Mm, yes.
172
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,642
[BOTH LAUGH]
173
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,043
Oh.
174
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:34,915
Here.
Where?
175
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:35,983
Put it here.
176
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,685
Oh.
177
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,186
Oh, it's getting stronger.
178
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,054
[BOTH LAUGH]
179
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,591
How am I doing?
180
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,092
Mm, very well.
181
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,827
Oh.
A little lower.
182
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:47,861
Okay.
183
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,898
[DOOR OPENS]
184
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:51,999
[BELL TINKLING]
185
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,969
[LAUGHING]
186
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,572
This is unbelievable.
187
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,209
Oh, Maggie,
you're just in time.
188
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,143
Just what do you
think you're doing?
189
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,813
Oh, come on,
have some wine,
laugh with us.
190
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,681
Three can be
a lot of fun.
191
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,850
There's plenty
for everyone.
192
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,585
This man is my client.
193
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,320
This man is a visitor
in our country.
194
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,755
Oh, shove it.
195
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,056
[HERCULES LAUGHS]
196
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,658
That's it.
197
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,092
Oh, Maggie,
come on.
198
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,829
[LAUGHS]
199
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:25,065
I can fix
this jealousy.
200
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,834
Just who do you think
you are?
201
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:29,136
Oh, don't try
and fight me.
202
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,939
Don't try and fight
your heart.
203
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,941
You already got
your one-night bimbo,
mister
204
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,912
Come on, honey,
time for your physical.
205
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,349
Okay, Maggie,
206
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,085
I can see why
you might speak
with Dr. Moss's superior,
207
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,187
but filing a complaint
with the AMA?
208
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,157
Right.
209
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,159
Now I have messages here
210
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,661
from the
Department of Health,
211
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,228
the Liquor Licensing Board,
212
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,897
and the FBI.
213
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,767
All inquiring about
one Hercules Valvalotus.
214
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,735
Ms. Price,
215
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:05,372
if we call this excessive,
we are still dealing
an understatement.
216
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,777
Is this some sort
of vendetta?
217
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,012
Look. Mr. Vega,
218
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,914
I admit I went overboard.
219
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,117
But he seduced
that dimwitted medical slut.
220
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,919
In order to defraud
the U.S. government.
221
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,754
He's hiding something.
I know it.
222
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:23,791
Fine. Get the evidence,
make a case.
223
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,293
But you have
a more immediate problem.
224
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,062
Valvalotus filed a complaint
against you.
225
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,632
Discrimination,
226
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:34,868
harassment,
227
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:36,870
and assault.
228
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,807
I don't have to tell you
229
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,442
that if the review board
finds in his favor,
230
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,244
you could lose your job.
231
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,013
Oh, God.
232
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,047
Assault?
233
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,182
Maggie!
234
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,784
It was only a slap.
235
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,119
Okay.
236
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,955
Whatever this fight
between you and Valvalotus is,
237
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,423
you just lost.
238
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:59,326
If I were you,
I'd find some way
239
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,829
to get this complaint dropped.
240
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,363
Right.
241
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:04,965
Right.
242
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,203
[CHUCKLES]
243
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,238
What?
244
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,876
I know what I have to do.
It's so simple.
245
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,277
I'm not sure
I want to hear this.
246
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,747
Mr. Vega, trust me.
247
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,781
I know what I'm doing.
248
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,083
Two can play at his game.
249
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,119
[MATCH STRIKES]
250
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:33,861
[BELL TINKLES]
251
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:38,966
Hello, Hercules.
252
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:40,000
Hello, Maggie.
253
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,306
Hercules, why are we
at war?
254
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,845
Sometimes it is
the way of sex.
255
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,046
[CHOKES]
256
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:57,517
I'm glad we can talk
so directly.
257
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:01,321
Hercules, I need you
to drop that complaint.
258
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,856
[BOTH LAUGH]
259
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,425
But I needed
your help also.
260
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,360
But why can't you
be honest with me?
261
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,330
Oh, but this is honest.
262
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:13,333
No. I mean, why won't you
take the physical?
263
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,836
Why the deception?
What's the big mystery?
264
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:16,904
Are you sick?
265
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,972
[LAUGHS] No.
266
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,308
But I have a birth defect.
267
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,877
[BOTH GASP]
Not a defect actually.
268
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:27,047
In fact, women
like it very much.
269
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:32,085
But I was afraid
the doctor might be a man.
270
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,187
Well, you must have been
thrilled to meet Dr. Boobs.
271
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,422
[LAUGHS]
272
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,391
All I wanted
is to be an American.
Is that so terrible?
273
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,494
Now you be honest
with me, Maggie.
274
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,031
Don't you want me
to stay in this country?
275
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,233
I think you do.
276
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,502
The hair, the eyes,
277
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,271
this dress.
278
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,140
I think you choose
because soon
279
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:56,977
you think to undress
for me, no?
280
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,146
I don't understand
the way you make me feel.
281
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,381
It's strange.
282
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,384
Possibly even humiliating.
283
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,187
There's something
about you.
284
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,425
It can be sweet
for both of us.
285
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,561
Give in to it.
286
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,206
You know why I can
resist you, Hercules?
287
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,574
'Cause you're used goods.
288
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,076
You can't
keep your pants on.
289
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,344
I want something real.
290
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,146
Cheap flings
aren't worth my energy.
291
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,015
Cheap, huh?
292
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:36,549
Used?
293
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:40,220
Okay, Maggie, you want
to call names?
[CLANKING]
294
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,422
You want to
play hard to get?
295
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:43,924
Hmm?
296
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,559
Resist this.
297
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,161
[ZIPPER OPENS]
[HERCULES LAUGHS]
298
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,198
VEGA: Maggie?
299
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,468
Maggie.
Yeah.
300
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,938
Are you all right?
Yes.
301
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,941
You've been in a trance
all morning.
302
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,142
[POURS LIQUID]
303
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,610
Why don't you
take the day off?
304
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:04,844
I'm fine.
305
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:08,982
I've uh...
306
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,184
I've got some good news.
307
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,422
Valvalotus withdrew
his complaint.
308
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,657
Oh, right.
309
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,092
I forgot about that.
310
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,895
What is this?
311
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,332
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
312
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,267
Oh, look how beautiful.
313
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,470
Can we get a slice
of that?
314
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,604
Okay.
315
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,541
What's so funny?
316
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,977
[LAUGHING]
Just thinking about Maggie.
317
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,179
What she would
be like in bed.
318
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,881
Possibly tomorrow,
but I think
maybe even tonight.
319
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,516
Well, look at this.
320
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,053
What's this?
321
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,956
Maybe she made me
an American citizen already.
322
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,958
She loves me so bad.
323
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,196
Damn her!
324
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,966
Yo, what you
trying to do, man?
Give me a heart attack?
325
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,000
What the hell...
326
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,203
Man oh, man.
327
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,372
She can't do this.
328
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,308
This, this is no woman.
329
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,343
This is a demon...
[SPEAKING IN GREEK]
330
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,380
She dares do this to me?
331
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,715
Yo, she's violating
your civil rights, man.
332
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,550
Somebody got to do
something about her.
333
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,986
I mean, she can't deport you.
334
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:22,622
Deport you, man?
You make the best souvlaki
east of the Mississippi.
335
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,025
You know, I told you
that witch was trouble,
right?
336
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,994
I told you
and you didn't
wanna listen.
337
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,029
Too bad.
338
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,034
VEGA: How can you
justify this?
339
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,403
I had to do it
to protect myself.
340
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,071
Come again?
341
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,040
He wants me to
make love to him
342
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,942
and God help me,
I can't end up
like Doris!
343
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,045
Oh, Maggie.
344
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,713
Why didn't you tell me?
345
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,749
This is classic case
of worker burnout.
346
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:53,586
When you're overworked
you tell me.
347
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,755
Now the first thing we do
is take this case
out of your hands.
348
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,024
I can get it to Sybil.
349
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,325
No! No. No.
350
00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,692
[LAUGHS MANICALLY]
She can't handle him.
351
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:00,960
Trust me.
352
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,396
And you don't want
Hercules Valvalotus
in this country.
353
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,065
Why not?
354
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,400
Well, the reason he didn't
wanna take the physical,
355
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,003
he's deformed.
356
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:12,472
There's no mention
of deformity in his records.
357
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,674
He hides it
under his clothes.
358
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,543
Then how did you see it?
359
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,378
If it's under his clothes
then how did you...
360
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:21,348
Really?
361
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:27,220
Well, deformity is not
grounds for deportation.
362
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:28,755
This one is.
Trust me.
363
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,257
I'm afraid I can't do that.
364
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,160
Would you want to
365
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,096
describe it?
366
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:37,630
Well,
367
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,034
His feet.
Feet?
368
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,236
They're like hooves.
Okay?
369
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,704
And his legs are
all hairy. Okay?
370
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,173
Okay?
Okay, Maggie.
371
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,543
He's even got a tail.
372
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:53,446
And when he gets,
you know, aroused...
373
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,581
Yes?
374
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,716
His horns, they grow
out of his head.
375
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,784
[LAUGHS]
376
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,319
Damn it, Vega!
How can you be so dense?
377
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,353
He's a satyr!
378
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,622
Okay, Maggie.
379
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,392
I'm gonna have someone
to take you home.
380
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,060
You're going
on medical leave.
381
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,261
No. No.
382
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,264
I'm sorry I yelled.
383
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:12,632
But I'm not burnt out.
384
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,201
And I'm not crazy!
385
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:18,338
Extended medical leave.
386
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,142
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
387
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:25,312
I can prove
Hercules Valvalotus
is a satyr.
388
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,615
[GREEK INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
389
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,152
[BELL TINKLES]
390
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,087
Don't turn around.
391
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,855
Damn it, Hercules,
do exactly as I tell you
or I'm...
392
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,124
What?
393
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,126
What do you want
from me?
394
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,161
Okay, now,
395
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,596
drop your pants.
396
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,199
No.
397
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,369
Shoot me. If you can.
398
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,205
Because if you don't...
399
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,108
Hercules, stay away!
400
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:56,576
[CLATTERS]
401
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,217
HERCULES: Maggie!
402
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:07,254
[LAUGHS]
403
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,556
[LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY]
404
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,090
Maggie!
405
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,264
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
406
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,532
[LAUGHS WICKEDLY]
407
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,503
[GRUNTING]
408
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:30,677
Don't.
409
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,581
I put you
above them all,
410
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,483
and I was
nothing to you.
411
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,654
Never in my life
have I harmed
a woman,
412
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,756
but you, you're no woman!
413
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,759
You're a demon
414
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,695
sent to destroy me.
415
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:51,698
In my dreams
416
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:56,503
I've plunged my dagger
into your breast
417
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,538
a hundred times.
418
00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,672
[INHALES SHARPLY]
419
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:03,376
In my dreams
a hundred times
I've plunged my...
420
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,213
My...
421
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,386
[GREEK INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
422
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,626
Delicious Maggie.
423
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,663
I knew you would
be the best.
424
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,832
Hercules, did you mean
what you said before?
425
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:27,367
What?
426
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,537
Oh, that I was, you know,
different from the others.
427
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,373
The most special ever.
428
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:34,674
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
429
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,544
Now you must
fix my papers
430
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,946
so that I can stay
431
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,748
and we can be together.
432
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,451
I can't do that.
433
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,819
Why?
434
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:50,490
There is no provision
for mythological creatures
under U.S. immigration law.
435
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,691
I don't believe this!
436
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,460
This I don't believe!
437
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:56,829
But I was thinking
there's another way
you can stay.
438
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,832
You have to take another oath,
only this is kinda different.
439
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,834
But it makes you
a citizen
440
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,637
and you don't have to
take the physical.
441
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:05,938
Are you playing games
with me?
442
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:08,575
Don't play games
with me, Maggie.
443
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,677
What oath?
The Pledge of Allegiance?
444
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,745
No. Not that one.
445
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,515
Just repeat after me.
446
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,651
"In sickness
and in health."
447
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,987
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
448
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,822
Until death do us part.
449
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,359
"Until death do us part."
450
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:27,627
Perfect.
451
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,663
"Perfect."
452
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,972
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
29965
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof