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1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,506
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,345
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
3
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:12,780
[FATHER SIGHS]
4
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,416
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
5
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,450
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
6
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,687
Honey, it's family hour,
7
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,422
there must be something on.
8
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,297
DAUGHTER:
Oh, wow, Candied Critters!
9
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,501
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
10
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,237
Oh, great. It's Monsters,
our favorite show!
11
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,305
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
12
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,439
Shh. It's starting.
13
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,277
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
14
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:44,778
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
15
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,622
Her breath was hot
on his naked shoulder
16
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:59,760
Tidal waves of emotions
tore at her heart.
17
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:01,629
No.
18
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,465
Her heart was on fire.
19
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:06,367
[GASPS] No!
20
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,304
[PHONE RINGING]
21
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:17,345
Cookies by Zan.
22
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,681
Hello, Mr. Giegerson.
23
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,352
Yes, I have a new business.
24
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:25,653
I'm into cookies now.
25
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:27,688
A writer has to eat.
26
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,860
Of course I know
you want $154.08.
27
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,763
There's a check
winging its way to you
28
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:38,132
in some mailman's pouch
this very minute.
29
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,302
And good morning to you.
30
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,638
Think cookies.
31
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:47,508
All I ask is for
a bestseller,
that's all I ask.
32
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,744
Where's your school project?
33
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,680
Oh, I forgot it, Mom.
34
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,849
Hurry up, you are not
leaving this house
without your protein drink.
35
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,553
[TIMER BUZZING]
36
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:01,689
Five, four, three...
37
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,857
[PHONE RINGING]
38
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:05,793
Cookies by Zan.
39
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:07,728
Yes?
40
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,530
Yes.
41
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,466
Yes?
42
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,768
Yes.
43
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,670
Yes.
44
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,239
[CLATTERING]
45
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,274
Yes, of course,
I like electricity
46
00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,742
I've grown quite used to it.
47
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:23,777
What?
48
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,380
You're standing
right by the switch
that cuts off my current?
49
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,251
Yes, I see, well...
50
00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,952
What if I drop off
a check today?
51
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,722
Cash? That's what
I thought I said. Cash.
52
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,590
I'll drop by cash today.
53
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,259
Right.
54
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:39,593
Right now.
55
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,463
Thank you.
56
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,865
Greedy sadist.
57
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,168
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
58
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,305
[BLENDER STOPS]
59
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,408
Tell Mrs. Brewer...
60
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,478
I hate Mrs. Brewer.
61
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,980
...you'll have your
lunch money on Monday.
62
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,216
I collect this week.
63
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,551
Here's a note...
64
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,319
excusing you for being late.
65
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,956
And you don't hate anyone.
66
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,358
I hate Mrs. Brewer.
67
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,425
Marty.
68
00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:12,693
But I love you, Mom.
69
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,265
Those things grow
in your stomach, you know.
70
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,367
One of these days
you're gonna explode.
71
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,434
[DOOR CLOSES]
72
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,739
[SIGHS]
73
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,776
It was high tide in her heart.
74
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,821
Got it.
75
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,992
"Surfs up,"
76
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,361
her heart seemed to say.
77
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,396
[CHUCKLING]
78
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,265
[PHONE RINGING]
79
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:52,800
It's in the mail.
80
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,269
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
81
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,737
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
82
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,005
Nobody's home!
83
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,007
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
84
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,480
I'm doing the best I can.
85
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,450
I don't buy myself clothes.
86
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,785
I don't have jewelry, furs.
87
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:14,622
We're vegetarians
because I can't afford meat.
88
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:31,004
Something tells me
you're not a bill collector.
89
00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:38,440
Stay away,
or I'll spoon you.
90
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:40,310
[SPOON CLATTERS]
91
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,380
You're Zantipe Bullock Fincher,
92
00:04:42,410 --> 00:04:45,180
suburban widow,
valiantly trying
to make ends meet,
93
00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:47,610
who'll one day panhandle
in Manhattan's Lower East Side.
94
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,650
Mother of
Martin Bullock Fincher, age ten,
95
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,090
who'll one day
weigh 412 pounds.
96
00:04:56,060 --> 00:04:58,020
I will not have
a devil in my house.
97
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,730
Get out!
98
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,600
Oh, so you seem
to have a knack
in knowing who we are.
99
00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:04,600
I don't need you in my life.
100
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,270
I have enough problems.
101
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,670
[PHONE RINGING]
102
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,570
Leave me alone!
103
00:05:11,070 --> 00:05:12,670
All right.
104
00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:15,240
You want my soul?
You can have it.
105
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,040
But first,
I got three wishes,
isn't that the way it goes?
106
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,450
That's not what
I came here for.
107
00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:20,910
I want...
108
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:25,620
Martin is not going
to weigh 412 pounds.
109
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:29,620
I don't want Martin
to weigh 412 pounds!
110
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,190
He eats a lot
of dough balls.
111
00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:33,730
What do you want?
112
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,600
Let me be straight,
which is...
113
00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:37,100
I'm not here for your soul.
114
00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:38,500
I already won yours.
115
00:05:38,530 --> 00:05:40,170
Excuse me.
116
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,070
I had a bet in the Rams, see,
for the Super Bowl.
117
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,270
Lucifer, my boss...
118
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,470
he bet on the Steelers.
119
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:50,040
The Rams won.
So I won.
120
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,280
My prize is,
I get to live here with you
121
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:54,950
while you ghost-write
my memoirs.
122
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,420
What?
123
00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:00,090
That means the story
of the devil's life.
124
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,850
My life.
125
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:07,230
Now, I convinced Luce
to be in the top ten
non-fiction paperback.
126
00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:10,460
He don't go for
that sissy paperback
fiction stuff.
127
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,960
Writers drink a lot, right?
128
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,270
Cigars, cigarettes,
anything you want.
129
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:22,010
Why me?
130
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,380
You're a writer.
131
00:06:23,410 --> 00:06:25,080
And this is
the suburban type house
132
00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:26,510
I always thought
I might live in.
133
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,220
And I like the way you look.
134
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:31,650
Besides,
135
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,620
you got no choice.
136
00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:35,720
I won the bet,
Luce has to ante up.
137
00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:39,060
You're stuck.
138
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:44,600
I am not going to write,
or ghost-write a book for you,
139
00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:47,800
or any devil, or anybody.
140
00:06:47,830 --> 00:06:49,100
[SIZZLES]
141
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,810
I mean it.
142
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,740
You can't stay here.
143
00:06:58,310 --> 00:06:59,350
[LOCK CLICKS]
144
00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:00,780
DEVIL: If Lucifer says I can,
145
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:02,420
I can.
146
00:07:24,370 --> 00:07:25,370
Are you a date?
147
00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:27,310
Am I what?
148
00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:28,810
Are you a date of my mom's?
149
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,440
She hasn't had a date
since my dad died.
150
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,580
MARTY: Ryan Poznowski says
it's healthy for adults
to have dates,
151
00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:36,020
'cause then
they're not so tense,
152
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:39,090
and if they're not tense,
they don't get so mad
at their kids.
153
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,720
Eat your cream peas, Marty.
154
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:43,120
I'm not a date,
I'm a devil.
155
00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:46,060
Oh.
156
00:07:47,390 --> 00:07:49,500
So, Marty,
you like the Rams?
157
00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:51,430
Eh, they got lucky.
158
00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:54,130
Ain't no such thing
as luck, kid.
159
00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:56,870
Joey Simpson is gonna meet
a Playboy bunny next week.
160
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,770
Marty doesn't need
to know these things.
161
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,240
What things?
162
00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:03,510
That the world is fixed.
163
00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:05,510
The world is not fixed, Marty.
164
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:08,310
MARTY: Oh.
165
00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:10,680
If you're not my mom's date,
then why are you here?
166
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,650
Your mother's gonna
write a book about
what it's like to be a devil.
167
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,190
No, I'm not.
168
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:19,190
Wouldn't you rather
have a steak or something?
169
00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:20,860
We can't afford steak.
170
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,400
Wow!
171
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,530
Red meat makes me mean.
172
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,840
I'm not helping you
with any book.
173
00:08:34,910 --> 00:08:36,510
Do you live in hell?
174
00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:37,580
Yeah.
175
00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:39,350
Is it stinky and smelly?
176
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:41,180
And do people whine
all the time,
177
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:42,820
and groan and moan
and cackle?
178
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:44,150
And is it hot?
179
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:46,890
Yeah.
Cool!
180
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,290
Could you put a hex
on my teacher,
Miss Brewer?
181
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,360
I hate her.
182
00:08:50,390 --> 00:08:51,590
Marty, that's enough.
183
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:53,530
No hexes.
184
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,200
We'll talk later, my man.
185
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,530
Hey, Marty, you wanna
give me five?
186
00:08:58,260 --> 00:09:00,470
No, he doesn't.
187
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,130
Come on, kid,
give me five.
188
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,450
"Surfs up," her heart
seemed to say.
189
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,780
This is poetry.
190
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:22,520
You shouldn't waste
your talent on these
sex-starved housewives.
191
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,390
Why don't you write
your book yourself?
192
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:27,690
Why should I work
when I can just
take the credit?
193
00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:30,830
I get the feeling
I'm bothering you.
194
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,630
You... burn your way in here,
195
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:35,370
and make yourself at home,
196
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,600
you're corrupting my son,
197
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,610
ask me to write
a book for you.
198
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:40,840
What's is in it for me?
199
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:44,680
What, do you
need something?
200
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,450
Look at this place.
201
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,310
I need a new
washer and dryer.
202
00:09:48,350 --> 00:09:49,650
I need my bills paid.
203
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,820
Mr. Giegerson
and the electric company
are not gonna wait forever.
204
00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:55,590
Oh, my God,
the electric company,
205
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,860
I forgot to go down
and pay them cash.
206
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,230
[SNAPS FINGER]
207
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:02,900
Electricity is on me.
208
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,230
Martin could use
some new clothes.
209
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,770
I'd like to get
my hair done.
210
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:11,940
My nails done.
211
00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:13,340
My feet done.
212
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,240
My body done.
213
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,210
Your body is fine.
214
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:26,790
Thank you.
215
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:34,490
Devil's life is okay for me.
216
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:37,000
But I don't know
if you're suited for it.
217
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:39,500
I never said anything
about wanting to be a devil.
218
00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:41,300
Well, you accept
something from us,
219
00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:42,800
that makes you one of us.
220
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,500
A minor devil,
of course.
221
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:45,770
You gotta work your way up.
222
00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:47,440
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
223
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,580
And I'm low compared to...
224
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,910
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
225
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:58,450
Would you like
a glass of champagne?
226
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:05,960
How about some candlelight?
227
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,030
Music?
228
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:11,760
[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]
229
00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:18,740
Would you like to dance?
230
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:20,940
I don't know.
231
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,650
But then a devil's life
ain't so bad, is it?
232
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,600
Oh, my God.
233
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,630
Don't say that.
234
00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:22,700
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
235
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,650
Welcome to devilhood, Zantipe.
236
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:41,550
[GIGGLING]
237
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,870
Welcome to devilhood, Zantipe.
238
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:51,410
I don't wanna be
in the devilhood.
239
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,880
I don't wanna be a devil.
Keep your hands off me.
240
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:54,910
Too late.
241
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,950
Hey, Mom!
242
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:01,580
Where did you get
those clothes?
243
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:03,620
And what is this for?
244
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,660
School, Mom.
It's my homework.
245
00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:07,760
I know I'll get all A's
on this one,
246
00:13:07,790 --> 00:13:09,760
'cause Clancy
had some slave do it.
247
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:10,960
MARTY: Right, Clancy?
248
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,460
Why do something
if you can just
take credit for it?
249
00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:16,770
Can we do it now, Clancy?
250
00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:19,300
What the hell, okay.
251
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,740
Okay, Mom,
I'm getting back
at Mrs. Brewer.
252
00:13:21,770 --> 00:13:22,910
Watch this!
253
00:13:29,650 --> 00:13:32,580
[GASPS] Marty!
Stop that.
254
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,950
Mrs. Brewer is your teacher.
255
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,890
She keeps me after school.
256
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,390
MARTY:
She makes fun of me.
257
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:39,420
I hate her!
258
00:13:42,390 --> 00:13:43,730
Make her write,
259
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,930
"I will never
punish Marty again,"
260
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,030
a million times!
261
00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:53,570
[CHALK SQUEAKING]
262
00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:56,910
[LAUGHING]
263
00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:58,980
Stop it, this is inhuman.
264
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,080
You stop this right now.
265
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,820
Oh, Mom, you're no fun.
266
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:08,850
[DEVIL WHISTLES]
267
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,390
Steak sandwich, right, Clancy?
268
00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:13,660
Nothing but, kid.
269
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:16,690
Marty, I want you
to be good
in school today.
270
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,760
Don't worry, Mom.
271
00:14:23,670 --> 00:14:26,540
I want my son back.
That's not my son.
272
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,870
DEVIL: He is Marty.
273
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:30,410
With advantages.
274
00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:32,540
Oh, my God.
275
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,780
Don't say that.
276
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,980
I never thought
I'd have to give up my soul
for a washer and dryer.
277
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:43,690
If you don't take care
of yourself,
278
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,720
no one else will
in this world.
279
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,660
Ain't that true, Zantipe?
280
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:48,860
But what about the bills?
281
00:14:48,890 --> 00:14:50,860
All the people
I owe money to?
282
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,830
Yeah.
283
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,730
Giegerson's grocery
burned down.
284
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:55,830
[GASPS]
285
00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:58,130
All the records
inside are burnt.
286
00:14:58,170 --> 00:15:00,000
But I know I owe him money.
287
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,070
Make him prove it.
288
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,810
It's his word against yours.
289
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:03,870
That's not right.
290
00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:06,480
You gotta take advantage.
291
00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:08,480
I don't want any of this!
292
00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:10,610
What you see is what you got.
293
00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:12,110
Now, you gotta write that book.
294
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:13,580
No!
295
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:15,750
Don't mess with me!
296
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,690
We got a deadline!
297
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:21,520
This book's gotta be
at the publisher's
by midnight,
298
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,790
or I get demoted.
299
00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:27,800
And I am not
gonna be a pee-on devil...
300
00:15:27,830 --> 00:15:28,970
again.
301
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,400
You hear me?
302
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,070
[POP]
303
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,140
Oh.
304
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:38,780
I heard you.
305
00:15:39,910 --> 00:15:41,710
And if you need it so bad,
306
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,580
just write it yourself.
307
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:53,660
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
308
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,900
[RAPID RATTLING]
309
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,070
[SIGHS]
310
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,210
If I help you
with this book,
311
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,980
would you undevil Marty?
312
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:18,880
And undevil me?
313
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,720
I can't do that.
314
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:22,790
It's not done.
315
00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:24,950
Even if I wanted to,
I couldn't.
316
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,590
All right.
317
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,830
Since it seems
I'm a devil now,
318
00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:30,490
I'll just talk
to the boss myself.
319
00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:31,590
No!
320
00:16:31,630 --> 00:16:33,500
[EXCLAIMING IN HORROR]
321
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:35,060
Butt out!
322
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,670
[SIZZLING]
323
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:55,520
He's not happy.
324
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:57,690
If you don't turn in
a top-notch manuscript,
325
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,020
he'll have you working
venial sins for eternity.
326
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,790
He said that?
327
00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:05,130
He wants this book
to be a best-seller.
328
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,130
He wants things accurate.
329
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,130
He wants rhythm and pacing.
330
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:11,070
He wants correct spelling.
331
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,070
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
332
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:15,540
He wants you to make
being a devil exciting,
333
00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:17,940
romantic, and glamorous.
334
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,980
What am I gonna do?
335
00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:22,710
I made a deal with the boss.
336
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,250
Let's start at the beginning.
337
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,780
How did you become a devil?
338
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:28,320
It was 1921,
339
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:33,660
a year before
the National Football League
stepped in to ruin the game.
340
00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:36,930
The Giants picked me off
the streets of New York
to play defense.
341
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,860
Exhibition game.
342
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:42,230
This Green Bay Packer
calls my mother a tart.
343
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:43,870
So I smashed his head in.
344
00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:47,900
They kicked me
off the team.
345
00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,940
So I went back
to robbing banks.
346
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:52,310
And I got shot.
347
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:53,710
[SIGHS]
348
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:56,180
So...
349
00:17:56,210 --> 00:17:58,280
now you think
I'm a terrible person?
350
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,320
Did you go straight to hell?
351
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:03,150
Oh, no. First you gotta go
through the showers.
352
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:05,290
[CHUCKLES]
See, the she-devils,
353
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,190
they rub you all over
with porcupine loofahs.
354
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,260
[CHUCKLES]
355
00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:11,090
Then you go into
a vinegar shower.
356
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,230
It makes you mean.
357
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,000
Do I regret being a devil?
358
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,800
It ain't easy.
359
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,370
Not even
having you get to do
whatever you want.
360
00:18:23,410 --> 00:18:24,240
And hell?
361
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,580
You gotta knuckle under
to the boss.
362
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:28,680
And it's the snitches.
363
00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:31,310
Everyone's always
snitching on each other.
364
00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:33,650
So you don't get away
with trying to change.
365
00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:37,250
Besides,
366
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,960
a minor devil
has never changed
into a minor angel.
367
00:18:43,860 --> 00:18:46,030
It ain't done.
368
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:49,130
But you'll make sure your boss
keeps his bargain with me.
369
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,900
I'll give it my best shot.
370
00:18:55,910 --> 00:18:56,970
Finished.
371
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,150
Clancy?
Oh, hi, honey.
372
00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:06,650
Hey, Mom, I scoffed it.
I got all A's,
373
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,380
like I know more
than the teachers.
374
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:11,690
Mrs. Brewer showed up
totally freaked.
375
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,290
It was great.
376
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,990
What do you think
you're doing?
377
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:19,700
Getting ready to relax.
378
00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:22,330
You're not gonna
drink a beer,
you're ten years old.
379
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,170
Make me.
380
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,740
Stop glowing your eyes
at me, young man.
381
00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:30,940
All of this
is coming to an end.
382
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,710
Why? I like life this way.
It's easier.
383
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:37,350
It may be easier,
but it's not right.
384
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,380
Where's Clancy?
I need a book report
on Mussolini.
385
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:42,280
He's gone to the publisher.
386
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,790
If the book gets accepted,
he's gonna take our
devilhood away from us.
387
00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:46,960
[WIND BLOWING]
388
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:50,430
It's published!
389
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:57,430
Mom, this isn't fair!
390
00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:59,000
Marty, go get ready
for dinner.
391
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,070
Mom!
Go, now.
392
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,070
Wash your face and hands.
393
00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:04,970
We're not meant
to be devils.
394
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,950
Just when things
were going good.
395
00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:11,880
Marty, now.
396
00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:19,190
[GASPS]
397
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:22,420
Are you ready
to raise a little hell?
398
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:24,730
It didn't work.
399
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,160
[ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYING]
400
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:32,130
Guess these'll take
a little getting used to.
401
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:54,790
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
26414
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