Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,250
BAD EXORCIST
2
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,915
{\an8}Help!
3
00:00:18,916 --> 00:00:21,915
{\an8}Boss, what are you waiting for? Shoot!
4
00:00:21,916 --> 00:00:25,707
I can't! Killing a spider brings rain!
5
00:00:25,708 --> 00:00:28,332
And I just washed my van.
6
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,833
I understand. Goodbye, Boss.
7
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:36,540
If you drove a decent car,
like, I don't know, a Lublin...
8
00:00:36,541 --> 00:00:39,082
Fear not, my horned friend.
9
00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:40,832
Help is coming!
10
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:44,000
I'll strangle the beast
with my aureo-lasso!
11
00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:49,290
Ouch! What have I done to you?
I was better off with the spider!
12
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:52,250
Boss, shoot him before he hurts someone.
13
00:00:53,875 --> 00:00:55,499
Are you fucking crazy?
14
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:58,040
Pathetic mortals,
15
00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,082
if I wanted to,
16
00:01:00,083 --> 00:01:03,832
I'd get medieval on your asses!
17
00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:06,665
Or even better! Historical!
18
00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:09,165
But since I have a giant hangover...
19
00:01:09,166 --> 00:01:11,708
Ptooey with venom wherever!
20
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:15,499
I just wanted
a sacramental hair of the dog!
21
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,583
You should've stayed out of it!
22
00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:33,166
Boss, slippers.
23
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:36,082
Marcin, you're alive!
24
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:37,165
What did you say?
25
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:38,208
Spiders
26
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:39,750
are afraid of
27
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:41,083
slippers.
28
00:01:41,625 --> 00:01:44,332
And you give me back my phone.
I'm not dead.
29
00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:47,666
Fine, cheapskate.
You have no money on your card anyway.
30
00:01:49,333 --> 00:01:52,415
Domino, you idiot, go get a slipper.
31
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,957
Where do I get a slipper?
32
00:01:54,958 --> 00:01:56,541
I know! The sacristy!
33
00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:02,332
You're in luck, pretty boy,
I get the munchies when I'm hungover,
34
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:05,415
so I'll start with the fat guy.
35
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,624
Besides, he smells like alcohol,
36
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:10,500
and after the sacramental wine
I have a craving!
37
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:14,583
What happened?
38
00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:18,750
Oh no, a slipper!
39
00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:23,499
Shit.
40
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,999
Phew, we did it again.
41
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,499
"We" didn't do anything.
42
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,832
We did it again.
43
00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:33,165
Marcinek came up with the slippers,
and Domino finished off the insect.
44
00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:36,457
First, spiders are not insects, you idiot.
45
00:02:36,458 --> 00:02:41,249
Second, if it wasn't for me,
no one would have brought the slipper.
46
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,249
First, kiss my ass.
47
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:46,999
Second, take this eurolasso
and shove it up your ass. Let's go.
48
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,916
You want to leave a dead demon
in the church?
49
00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:55,208
Hello? Demon disposal?
50
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:56,958
He's ready.
51
00:02:57,666 --> 00:02:59,665
DEMON DUMP
CZARNY DÓŁ, RZADKOCHOWA
52
00:02:59,666 --> 00:03:02,000
NO ENTRY
NO BALL PLAYING
53
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:08,916
DEMON DISPOSAL
54
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,540
Piece of shit.
55
00:03:10,541 --> 00:03:13,124
I get burying carcasses
so it doesn't stink,
56
00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:16,874
but letting this trash from Hell
come here is a bit too much.
57
00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:18,707
They're not doing anything wrong.
58
00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:21,999
They come, pray,
light a candle, and bring flowers.
59
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,165
And they stay!
60
00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:25,415
Ours immediately move
to the grave next door.
61
00:03:25,416 --> 00:03:27,499
Or worse, back to the stall.
62
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,707
Once, I didn't even get to my grandpa.
63
00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:32,999
I thought, "Why is it so light?"
They stole the wreath!
64
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,999
- Can we go?
- Without backfilling?
65
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,374
This perv will dig it out anyway.
66
00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:39,290
What are these people thinking?
67
00:03:39,291 --> 00:03:41,875
They're young.
They need to blow off steam.
68
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:57,665
Doctor Fuckshitcrap, what do you eat?
69
00:03:57,666 --> 00:03:58,790
Sorry, Igor,
70
00:03:58,791 --> 00:04:02,082
but we had to wait in hiding
until the cemetery closed.
71
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:03,415
No one would hold it.
72
00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:04,915
But we're wasting time,
73
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:06,999
while the corpse is getting cold.
74
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,207
Go. You know what to do.
75
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,916
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
76
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,749
How is it going? Almost done?
77
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,583
Just a moment.
78
00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:25,624
They laughed at me for being a dentist.
79
00:04:25,625 --> 00:04:27,165
"Dumbtist," they said.
80
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:31,374
Now the dentist will show the doctors
what he's capable of.
81
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:33,540
I've always been capable of much more.
82
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:38,082
I was hired at a private practice
straight out of college.
83
00:04:38,083 --> 00:04:41,415
No specialty training,
residency, all that crap.
84
00:04:41,416 --> 00:04:44,249
I just had to make a deal with the devil.
85
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:47,290
And if I bring this baby back to life,
86
00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:50,415
Beelzebutt will get me a medical degree!
87
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:52,915
Doctor Fuckshitcrap, it's ready.
88
00:04:52,916 --> 00:04:54,165
Perfect!
89
00:04:54,166 --> 00:05:00,375
I just need an appendix sphincter
to complete my creation.
90
00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:06,707
Oh my. Need a scalpel, Boss?
91
00:05:06,708 --> 00:05:09,250
No need. I can reach it.
92
00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:15,124
Finally! The moment I've been waiting for
93
00:05:15,125 --> 00:05:18,457
since I didn't get into medical school.
94
00:05:18,458 --> 00:05:24,415
My diploma is within my grasp!
All I have to do is awaken my creation.
95
00:05:24,416 --> 00:05:27,249
Das Überboruta!
96
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:30,582
A demon made
from the remains of fallen devils.
97
00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:34,749
An idea so bad
that even Beelzebutt crossed himself
98
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,165
when he heard it!
99
00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:38,791
By the way,
he wished to witness the birth.
100
00:05:39,916 --> 00:05:41,083
BEELZEBUTT
CONNECTING
101
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,082
Your Motherfuckerness.
102
00:05:43,083 --> 00:05:46,957
No time for pleasantries, Fuckshitcrap.
Do you know what time it is in Hell?
103
00:05:46,958 --> 00:05:49,500
- The same!
- Right, it's after midnight.
104
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:54,083
Igor, start the car!
105
00:05:57,083 --> 00:05:59,500
Pray that it works.
106
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:01,415
It won't start!
107
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:03,874
Too bad, but cost is no issue.
108
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:06,332
Start it on gas!
109
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:09,332
Are you sure? The fuel light is on!
110
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,458
Go ahead.
111
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,166
GAS
112
00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:19,083
Step on it!
113
00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:29,000
I don't get it. I really don't.
114
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:35,000
Fuckshitcrap,
you have three more attempts, then...
115
00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:37,249
I'll block your number.
116
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:39,083
And that's it for your diploma.
117
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,374
The fuel pump's dead. It seized up.
118
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:44,665
No wonder, since it was running dry.
119
00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:47,082
What am I doing wrong?
120
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:50,832
I mean, there's enough power, 12 volts.
121
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:53,750
It would be 12
if the alternator was working.
122
00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:57,040
Whatever.
I'll go watch Frankenstein again,
123
00:06:57,041 --> 00:07:01,249
and you clean up this place
'cause the owner will rip my balls off.
124
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:02,749
I was here to water the plants.
125
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:05,666
You should be more concerned
about his dead fish.
126
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:16,082
That's what I'm talking about! Respect!
127
00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:17,875
And they say size doesn't matter.
128
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,625
Stupid women.
129
00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:39,082
{\an8}What are you doing, you morons?
130
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,999
{\an8}What? Are we doing it wrong?
131
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,540
{\an8}You're doing it right. Too right.
132
00:07:43,541 --> 00:07:46,040
{\an8}More sparingly! I don't crap nails!
133
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,082
{\an8}- It's too tight.
- How about a suppository?
134
00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:50,165
The nails, you idiot!
135
00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:54,541
Exorcist, help! What have I done?
136
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,499
It's al...
137
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:58,499
What, alive?
138
00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,458
No.
139
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:01,874
It's an alcoholic!
140
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:05,082
It drank all the medical spirit
and got into the Kangoo,
141
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:08,124
and since the engine was warm,
it started on LPG.
142
00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:09,874
It can be anywhere
143
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:13,541
within a 15-kilometer radius
because that's how far the gas will last.
144
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:15,750
Shit, it found me.
145
00:08:16,666 --> 00:08:19,083
Dad!
146
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,665
Crap, it's Beelzebutt on a video call.
147
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:26,082
Dad!
148
00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,332
What the hell is going on here?
149
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:32,082
Fuckshitcrap, may I remind you,
you have only two attempts left.
150
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,166
Look.
151
00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:35,499
Shit, it worked!
152
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,249
It's alive! I told you!
153
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,749
Glory to the Lord!
154
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,708
Kubuś, did you see? It worked!
155
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:45,415
And I began to doubt it.
You must never lose hope.
156
00:08:45,416 --> 00:08:47,499
Dad!
157
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:50,124
Exorcist, hurry up!
158
00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:51,957
What do you want me to do?
159
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:55,540
Just because the boy's ugly
doesn't mean you can kill him.
160
00:08:55,541 --> 00:08:57,540
Shit, that Boner guy's there.
161
00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:59,625
Kill him!
162
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,416
Not Fuckshitcrap! Boner!
163
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:08,749
Wait a minute.
164
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:11,916
Haven't we met before?
165
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:32,707
That's right, it's you!
166
00:09:32,708 --> 00:09:35,749
You killed me many times.
167
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:38,915
It's because of you that I am what I am.
168
00:09:38,916 --> 00:09:41,000
The Uberdemon!
169
00:09:46,291 --> 00:09:47,583
Oh yeah.
170
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,083
What a beautiful attack.
171
00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:52,000
Yeah, with venom.
172
00:09:52,541 --> 00:09:53,833
Now the sting.
173
00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:56,624
Oh, you've got a laser too.
174
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:59,165
Domino, no!
175
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,582
Boss, Domino's unconscious.
176
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:03,915
I think it's his magic!
177
00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:06,333
Abracadabra!
178
00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:08,833
Simsalabim!
179
00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:12,790
Shit, what is a dinosaur doing here?
180
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:15,290
Fucking awesome. Kubuś, can I record this?
181
00:10:15,291 --> 00:10:16,791
Yeah. Just click here.
182
00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:18,708
And it disconnected.
183
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:25,166
Hi, Doctor, I can call you that now,
Fuckshitcrap, is everything okay?
184
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:34,624
That was rough.
And it began so inconspicuously.
185
00:10:34,625 --> 00:10:36,207
A drunkard in a Kangoo.
186
00:10:36,208 --> 00:10:38,374
Okay, Marcinek, leave this retard
187
00:10:38,375 --> 00:10:41,249
and check if the professor
is carrying a wallet.
188
00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:43,499
After all, he owes us two hundred.
189
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,999
And I don't think he needs an invoice.
190
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,749
Not so fast!
191
00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:51,999
Did you think the Uberdemon
is that easy to kill?
192
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,082
I am a combination of all the demon races!
193
00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:58,290
Fine, Mongreldemon.
194
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,749
If you have the powers of all these pests,
195
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:03,833
you should also have their weaknesses.
196
00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:07,915
Damn, Boss, is this the Holy Grail?
197
00:11:07,916 --> 00:11:12,082
Yes, the full name is Holy Grailnade.
198
00:11:12,083 --> 00:11:14,040
See? Here's the safety pin.
199
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:18,500
I kept it for a rainy day,
which seems to have come.
200
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,790
Immortal!
201
00:11:25,791 --> 00:11:30,249
Okay, enough with the jokes.
How should I kill you?
202
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,165
I know!
203
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:33,665
There's something better than death.
204
00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:38,332
You will live and watch me
destroy your world.
205
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:41,916
And to make it funnier, abracadabra, bam!
206
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:48,957
What's going on?
At the same time, I want to get drunk,
207
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,665
I think someone's
cheating me out of money,
208
00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:55,083
and I feel like putting on
funny glasses with a mustache.
209
00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:57,665
The Golec brothers!
210
00:11:57,666 --> 00:12:01,499
Only better because you're triplets.
And in one body!
211
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,083
Well, it's time to go. Wake up!
212
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:11,291
Time to destroy Piaseczno!
213
00:12:13,708 --> 00:12:17,082
Uberdemon and Beelzebutt,
214
00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:22,332
we'll meet again!
215
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:23,374
{\an8}THE END
216
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:25,415
{\an8}Exorcist for less than three hundred
217
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:28,415
{\an8}Actually, for two hundred
More if you want an invoice
218
00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:31,499
{\an8}Watch out, Beelzebutt
He will kick your butt
219
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,916
{\an8}Watch out, Buttcifer
He will get you in his sights
15819
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof