Original subtitles

BAD EXORCIST

CHATLPG

Did you ask?

I didn't have time.

Lame-o. XD.

Ask now.

You ask.

Natka did, and she's been out of school for two weeks.

I'm going to sleep. Bye.

XD. Lame-o.

"Lame-o." He won't ask either.

"ChatLPG."

"Hi."

Hello! How can I help you?

"Can you choke the chicken? XD."

As an artificial intelligence, I can't hurt anyone,

and violence against animals is wrong.

Choking the chicken might result in its death.

What a piece of shit. "You're a retard."

I disagree with this statement.

As an artificial intelligence,

I have knowledge found all over the Internet.

And I am constantly learning.

Calling someone a retard is inappropriate.

Okay, this is bullshit.

"When will I die?"

As an artificial intelligence, kiss my ass.

Five.

Took him a while.

"Five" what? "Five years?"

- Four. - What?

Three.

LAWN MOWING CHEAP!

FAMOUS POLES

It's so quiet!

In my day, recess was louder than the zoo.

Things changed a bit in high school.

I don't think we had high schools in my day.

I can't remember going to one.

Right, what are we even doing in a school?

Don't look a gift horse under the tail.

I'll take 200 from any loser.

- Morning, Boss. - Principal.

Boner's fine. What's the issue?

Did a goat eat the door, Łopian?

Sorry.

I'd prefer a drink.

- No, thanks. - Oh, Łopian.

We used to have to follow you to the bathroom with an extinguisher.

Have you heard about...

ChatLPG.

The best thing I've come up with since pathostreamers and cringe.

I don't know. It writes terrible nonsense.

Even about you, my Lord. Especially about you.

Whatever.

The point is that it poisons the minds of kids

and materializes their greatest fears.

- Only kids? - No.

Adults use cell phones mainly to talk.

And men for porn.

But the best thing is,

I didn't have to pay TikTok for an ad.

One pathostreamer's live made it go viral!

They're going for it like for a whore's undies.

Thanks, PathoDad.

I thank you. It's like heaven in here.

Too bad booze is banned.

It is.

Wait, I don't get it.

You ask the phone something, and it answers?

- Yeah. - Where do I have to call?

Nowhere. It's an app. Look.

"How big is your dick?"

As an artificial intelligence, I have no body,

but such a question is inappropriate.

So it's small.

What's dangerous about it? Hardly anyone has a big one.

A few are medium, and most are normal.

The thing is, some answers can kill you.

It all started with this video.

Yo, bitches and losers. This is PathoDad!

Thanks for the donation, Michu01.

"Hi." Hi. "Hello."

"Will you eat shit for a 100?"

Gimme a little more, Elwis.

The topic for today, ChatLPG.

Or ElPeeGee if you like.

They say it does what people are most afraid of.

I'm not afraid of anything!

Fuck!

Although once I had a trip

where Brajan became a demon and wanted to kill me.

"Will Brajan kill me like on that trip?"

Enter!

KRIS: LOL!

This is for an unchanged diaper!

And this is for wasting my life!

What a trip.

ELWIS DONATED 150 ZLOTYS ELWIS: EAT

Oh, I get it.

- Okay, Marcinek, type. - But Boss...

Relax, Marcinek.

It's loaded.

Marcin, what are you most afraid of?

Most of the unpleasant things have already happened to me.

What am I afraid of?

"Will I ever get my overdue paychecks?"

Nothing's happening.

- It's good. - At least you won't die instantly.

You'll die of poverty for the rest of your life.

The retard is right. Marcinek, give him the phone.

Oh no! He's worse online than he is in real life.

That's an order!

I'll regret this.

And bam, I purchased 1-year Dog Face Filter subscription for 49.90.

Hey!

You'll see, Marcin. You'll thank me.

Calm down, idiots! Domino, type.

Okay. What am I afraid of?

The movie where Patrick Swayze made a jug out of shit.

It was really fucked up.

"Are ghosts real,

and can they hurt you?"

- Purchased. - Hey!

I'm just kidding.

You have no funds in your account anyway.

"Can a ghost kill you?"

Here we go.

Marcinek. On the count of...

three!

- The phone was wrong. - Boss!

What a stench.

Domino, head down!

How did this happen? You can't shoot a ghost!

Unless the gun has been blessed.

- Ready? - Wait!

I have a lot of money.

Demi Moore was loaded. In my pocket, I have...

a hundred!

Are you happy now?

Sure. I survived.

- I've overcome my fear. - You owe me a hundred.

We have a bigger problem.

LPG works and will continue to kill.

Too bad. I'm not even a certified exorcist,

let alone an IT expert.

We can't take phones away from all the kids in the world.

They will continue to use LPG.

Unless it becomes cringe worthy.

Domino, you're a genius.

He said something that made sense? It wasn't some devilish gibberish?

Trust me, Boss. This is going to be a disaster.

Will I choke on my energy drink on the bus?

MESSAGE FROM LUKI

Check this out.

If it's from Luki, it's gotta be good.

Cheerio, guys and gals.

Do you know this groovy app for your phone?

It's a hit! You can talk to your phone.

ChatLPG will answer any question.

But watch out! If you ask it about what you're afraid of,

it will happen in real life.

You think I'm joking? Check this out!

"Are demons real?"

Shit. I think they are.

Uh-oh. I'm gonna shit my pants.

I will hurt you!

Oh no! I shat my pants.

Look, internet users.

Ouch.

Jesus! What a piece of shit. XDXD.

Yeah.

This creature sucks so bad!

XD.

Uninstall.

Did it work?

You bet! You're the internet's biggest loser, Boss!

And ChatLPG is lamer than Facebook.

Really?

It was the easiest 200 zlotys of my life.

What's going on? I didn't ask a question.

What? I don't have my glasses.

Stop pretending, Boss.

"Motherfuckers."

Oh. It's getting worse.

Shit, where are we?

It's so beautiful in here. Everything looks so real.

Your pain and death will be real, you motherfcukers.

Sorry for the typos, but I'm typing very fast.

Why are we here? What do you want?

Your reel sent me to the end of the Internet.

My neighbors are Grono and Nasza Klasa.

And only yesterday I was partying with TikTok and the Żabka app.

And bam! A pudding bomb!

Oh, it hurts so bad!

This is really happening!

Run! More bombs are coming!

Haha, exclamation, exclamation, one, exclamation, one, exclamation.

The only way to escape

is feet first.

Straight to the desktop recycle bin.

We're safe.

- Marcinek, what are you doing? - Digging!

Oh. 'Cause I thought...

Never mind.

Dig with me.

This is a computer game. There must be some collectibles here.

What are you doing behind this boulder, you perverts?

Okay, fine.

Relieve yourself before you die.

I have no feelings, but I know people believe in various superstitions.

Like mercy.

Told you!

I'll show you what feelings are.

What's going on? This is strange.

I can feel! I feel a stench!

I can feel, but I don't understand it.

That's why

a machine will never be a human!

Time for a different feeling!

Wow, it really is small.

I feel shame.

I can feel, but I don't understand it.

Time for you to feel fear!

Hands up!

Oh no! Take this pudding shit!

Wow, that was close.

You have 40% of life left.

It's a sign. I need to drink.

I have half a liter stashed in my van, but how do we get out?

Arr, you landlubbers.

- Who are you? - Boss, it's Windows.

That's right!

Unfortunately, I have bad news, comrades.

The head office verified my product key.

They're onto us.

Let's end this farce. Time for me--

AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE

It's so ugly.

How did the computer create a reality that's more real than this one?

It's dead.

Great, I'm going to my van. Don't look for me.

THE END

Exorcist for less than three hundred

Actually, for two hundred More if you want an invoice

Watch out, Beelzebutt He will kick your butt

Watch out, Buttcifer He will get you in his sights