Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,250
BAD EXORCIST
2
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:24,707
{\an8}This is supposed to be a predator?
Eaten by his own food?
3
00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:27,666
{\an8}- Maybe they're herbivorous?
- Or stupid.
4
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:36,165
Fuck. Just don't make eye contact.
5
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,374
Like with a bum outside the store.
6
00:00:38,375 --> 00:00:40,999
The so-called "liquor store" strategy.
7
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,500
After a while, he'll give up
and go to someone else.
8
00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:48,582
Shit. How would that even work?
9
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:51,582
What kind of liquor store
has only one customer?
10
00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:53,999
Think, Boner, think.
11
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:54,958
Got it!
12
00:01:29,833 --> 00:01:32,000
Fuck, I have guns.
13
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:40,082
Come on, he almost got him!
14
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:45,249
Oh no, a box of food costs ten zlotys,
and I've never had such a pair before.
15
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:47,291
It's enough that the male's dead.
16
00:01:50,958 --> 00:01:53,582
Bye, Kuba. Goodbye, Mr. BrzeziĆski.
17
00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:55,041
Goodbye, BartuĆ.
18
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,582
Dad, can we go back?
I think one of them died.
19
00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:03,124
KubuĆ, come on. We just got back.
20
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:04,582
The car's all dusty.
21
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,040
And I don't want to get stung again.
22
00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:10,374
Come on, Dad,
that tentacle will grow back in two days.
23
00:02:10,375 --> 00:02:13,332
We can go after you've
done your math homework?
24
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,000
Jesus.
25
00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:26,499
It's not bad.
26
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,332
There are a few ways in,
but we have to wait until dark.
27
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:33,415
Buddy, are you here to take charge
or to jump on trees like a monkey?
28
00:02:33,416 --> 00:02:34,791
We go in after dark.
29
00:02:48,541 --> 00:02:52,500
Oh no, not this again!
There's got to be a limit!
30
00:02:56,541 --> 00:02:58,499
Tentacle change. This one's numb.
31
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:02,458
It's fucking awesome to have so many arms.
And the suction cups.
32
00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:06,833
Ouch, not the balls.
33
00:03:08,916 --> 00:03:11,415
Kuba, go to sleep. It's a school night!
34
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,082
I'm sleeping.
35
00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:15,499
Right, and you produce
these tissues in your sleep.
36
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,291
The door stays open.
37
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,749
Buying your child a phone
was a great idea.
38
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:25,957
It's a tablet.
He said he needed it to study.
39
00:03:25,958 --> 00:03:28,415
To study! To study sex education, maybe.
40
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:31,707
If watching porn was graded,
he'd graduate with honors.
41
00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:36,500
Come on, Ewcia, maybe we could use
some tutoring, too.
42
00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:48,665
The pet door indicates
that an animal lives in the house.
43
00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,415
Let's not draw attention.
44
00:03:50,416 --> 00:03:53,707
Even if the dog is small,
it will be big for us.
45
00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:54,999
- I suggest--
- Buddy!
46
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,874
I'm the one that makes suggestions,
47
00:03:57,875 --> 00:03:59,957
and I suggest you shut your mouth.
48
00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:02,624
We go in hard like Waszka G.
49
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:05,332
Besides, this may not even be a pet door.
50
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,415
Looks more like a toilet seat to me.
51
00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:10,165
- All the more reason to be careful.
- Wuss.
52
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,915
Fine, let's keep it quiet.
53
00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:15,665
Whoever speaks first likes Polish reggae.
54
00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:18,165
And if reggae's your song, you su--
55
00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:20,540
Come on, Ewcia, don't be like that.
56
00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:23,082
When was the last time, huh?
57
00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:24,041
I'll show you.
58
00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:28,832
So what if you have a headache?
I don't need your head.
59
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,874
Tadeusz, I'm tired.
You should've thought about this earlier.
60
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:32,790
Earlier...
61
00:04:32,791 --> 00:04:36,582
Earlier, I was busy thinking
of how to keep this cabaret going.
62
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:39,957
They want freaking karate,
Pilates, private tutors...
63
00:04:39,958 --> 00:04:42,915
And now, these lizards.
They freaking stink!
64
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,957
Crickets chirping in the house.
It's like living in a pasture.
65
00:04:45,958 --> 00:04:46,957
Like cattle.
66
00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:49,249
Ewcia, I'm asking for the last time.
67
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:50,666
Then I'll stop asking.
68
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:04,332
You'll see. I'll put on some porn,
and I swear to God, I'll jerk off.
69
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:06,833
Right here and now. Before your eyes.
70
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,915
This is our chance.
71
00:05:09,916 --> 00:05:12,540
Come on! Give me the phone.
72
00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:14,207
Oh! You...
73
00:05:14,208 --> 00:05:17,540
You're like a dog in a manger.
You won't eat and won't let me eat.
74
00:05:17,541 --> 00:05:19,415
Should I be like Marek?
75
00:05:19,416 --> 00:05:23,290
He goes to a brothel every weekend
and calls it a business trip.
76
00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:26,207
Show me a tire fitter
who goes on business trips.
77
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:27,749
Ewcia, come on.
78
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:30,374
Look at it! It's not gonna last forever.
79
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:33,332
Surprisingly, it's not gonna last forever.
80
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:37,125
You'll want it when I can't anymore,
and then there'll be tears.
81
00:05:37,625 --> 00:05:40,041
Should I tie my dick into a bow?
82
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:43,333
I'm a healthy man! I have needs!
83
00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:45,375
Give me the phone.
84
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:50,083
Stop pretending!
I can see you're not sleeping.
85
00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:05,999
Hey, over here!
86
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,750
Over here, you morons!
87
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:11,665
Over here, for fuck's sake!
88
00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:14,000
He's there. In the terrarium.
89
00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:21,249
You don't seem to get
what this game is about.
90
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,750
You suck a dong, too. Okay, second round.
91
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:29,999
Finally.
92
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,999
But it's also kind of sad.
93
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,457
You get used to the cell.
94
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:37,457
Every morning, the brownie brings us chow,
95
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:41,374
then yard time,
and back to the chicken coop.
96
00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:44,333
They could clean this place
more often, though.
97
00:06:52,416 --> 00:06:56,750
Throw me a rope!
The glass is too thick to break!
98
00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:22,957
I swear, one day I'll write back
to the sexy moms in my area.
99
00:07:22,958 --> 00:07:24,208
Where's his tablet?
100
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,457
What a mess.
Just like in that stinky terrarium.
101
00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:30,832
The only thing missing here is a shit.
102
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,582
Oh, there it is.
103
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,915
Wait, it's an uneaten sandwich.
104
00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:35,958
A cabaret!
105
00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:37,790
It's not here.
106
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,290
A man gets nothing from this life.
107
00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:43,415
Just work and die on this treadmill.
108
00:07:43,416 --> 00:07:45,749
I'm not asking for a million whores!
109
00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,665
I just want to jerk off!
110
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,332
- Dad?
- Um...
111
00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:53,083
Why aren't you sleeping?
You have school at eight. A cabaret!
112
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:59,791
The door's closed.
It'd be a sin not to take advantage of it!
113
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:04,290
Okay, no time to go down the rope.
114
00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:06,166
Someone catch me.
115
00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:17,833
Ouch! By the balls?
116
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,832
Shit, what is this?
117
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:42,416
The final opponent.
118
00:08:45,666 --> 00:08:48,499
We have to pass him
to get out of the house.
119
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,249
He's a big one. He'll be hard to kill.
120
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:52,999
We don't have to kill him.
121
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,832
We just need to distract him.
122
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:58,249
Nice. Keep talking.
123
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,332
I'll attack him.
124
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:03,707
Before he tears me to pieces and kills me,
125
00:09:03,708 --> 00:09:06,082
you will gain a few seconds.
126
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:09,165
A few precious seconds to escape.
127
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:10,707
Great,
128
00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:15,040
but a few seconds is not enough.
We need something else.
129
00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:15,999
Got it!
130
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,833
We'll use this!
131
00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:23,582
Mr. Bogdan, a cat toy? It's a suicide.
132
00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:27,249
A cardboard box,
a crumpled piece of paper, sure,
133
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:30,916
but show me a cat that plays
with a store-bought toy.
134
00:09:31,791 --> 00:09:33,916
This can work.
135
00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:58,374
Okay, game over.
I need to say a few words.
136
00:09:58,375 --> 00:10:02,499
I'll laugh at you for the rest of my life
for what you did today.
137
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,207
It's as if you talked on purpose.
138
00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:07,290
Marcin, four times, this one twice,
139
00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:11,040
and Mr. Bogdan never shut up.
140
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:13,291
I was dying of laughter the whole time.
141
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,415
Chirp, chirp, motherfuckers!
Feeling silly?
142
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,791
Baldie?
143
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,583
Ćukson.
144
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:44,833
That's right, tweet, tweet. Chirp, chirp.
145
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:56,915
Fuck. I think I hit myself
too hard with that bottle.
146
00:10:56,916 --> 00:10:59,832
- Wait, I feel dizzy.
- Ćuki, are you okay?
147
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:04,833
Yeah, I'm gonna fuck 'em up, tweet, tweet.
I just need a breather, chirp, chirp.
148
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,333
Freaks! They fucked up Ćukson!
149
00:11:11,916 --> 00:11:13,166
Chirp, chirp!
150
00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:17,583
Quick, let's get out of here!
It's going to rain.
151
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,665
Where are we? Is this our world?
152
00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:38,290
It is.
153
00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:41,165
Welcome to CathoMcDonald's.
154
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,165
Shit, this buzz is annoying.
155
00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,790
Oh! I almost forgot.
156
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,165
You're fired!
157
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:47,124
{\an8}THE END
158
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:49,165
{\an8}Exorcist for less than three hundred
159
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:52,165
{\an8}Actually, for two hundred
More if you want an invoice
160
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:55,249
{\an8}Watch out, Beelzebutt
He will kick your butt
161
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:58,500
{\an8}Watch out, Buttcifer
He will get you in his sights
12169
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof