All language subtitles for frikvarter_i_barndom

It was the best of times. It was the
wampinest of times.

It was just a regular school day that
started out quiet, harmless, downright

tender. But tenderness never lasts
forever.

And before we knew it, that day would
take us to a place none of us thought

ever go again.

I don't believe we had to sit for a
whole hour listening to Prickly talk

foot hygiene.

And that had to be the grossest, most
disgusting video of all time.

That's all right, guys, because we've
got a whole hour of recess to get over

I don't know, PJ.

All that foot talk kind of made me
woozy. I think I'd better go see Nurse

Kramer.

Poor guy.

He'll be okay. Indeed.

But he's that quivering exterior beats a
heart of steel.

So will it be, guys.

Kickball? Oh, yeah!

No, no kicking. We gotta do something
that takes my mind off feet.

Why, then this would be an excellent
time to try out my new croquet set.

Cro -what set?

It's a British game. Very popular with
the upper classes. Shall we?

Hey, so we hit each other with these
hammers? I think I'm gonna like this

Oh, no. You use these mallets to shoot
wickets. We just need to find a large

empty field to play on. That might be a
bit of a problem. Aw, man, there's no

space anywhere.

It seems my dream of playing the
backyard game of Kings is not to be.

Hey, wait.

What about the old abandoned playground?

Yeah, no one ever goes there.

A brilliant idea.

My dream is restored.

Ah, here she is. The old abandoned
playground.

Now this is more like it. No one's going
to bug us back here.

Yeah, well, I'm not so sure.

I forgot how eerie this place was.
Indeed.

All the terrible memories are flooding
back to me. Oh, come on, guys.

Don't tell me you're worried because of
what happened last time.

Yeah, they promised they wouldn't come
out here anymore.

I guess that's true.

Excuse me, friends, but I understand the
key to croquet enjoyment is to start a

croquet game.

You got it, Michael.

What do we do? Everyone take a hoop,
then spread out and put them in the

Yeah, and Gretch, Spinelli, take it from
me. All you gotta worry about is

getting your wicked stomp by yours
truly.

Nothing to worry about, huh?

Get out of here, I'm making
KINDERGARTNER PANCAKES! Quiet, Big Kid!

make pancakes!

You're in jail!

But we didn't do anything!

We're innocent croquet enthusiasts!

Yeah, and I'll have you know that this
goes against every rule of Big Kid

-Kindergarten relations.

That's right.

Since the last incident, the old
playground was specifically designated

territory. Captain Sticky, you're in
charge here. Tell him to let us go.

Captain Sticky's not in charge no more.

You're not?

Well, I demand to know who is.

I'm in charge.

Me,

Chief Stinky. Chief Stinky?

Never heard of you. Me too, I'm here.

Well, that explains it. See, Stinky,
maybe where you come from, big kids

to be tied up. But at this school, we're
nice.

Big kids are lying.

Not listen to big kids.

We're big kids. I don't know what you're
talking about. Oh, I don't care if

those guys listen, Stinky. They already
know me.

Big kids play with kindergartners.

As a matter of fact, I did.

No,

no. Just listen, Stink, and you'll see.
It was nothing like that. In fact, it

was kind of beautiful. Although it
started off pretty crummy. Sort of like

today.

I'm telling you, man. Kirby Puckett is
the greatest outfielder that ever lived.

What? You gotta be kidding me. Any of
these guys is twice as good as Kirby

Puckett. I mean, he's short, he's cubby,
he's got a lifetime average of 318.

What about Babe Ruth? Reddy Jackson?
Willie Mays? None of them hold a candle

Kirby Puckett. What? You wouldn't know
talent if I...

Hey, wait a second. Don't change the
subject just because you know you're

No, Teej, look.

Huh? What?

The old playground.

I've heard about this place, but I
thought it was just a myth.

They say it hasn't been used since the
70s. We shouldn't be here, man.

It really gives me the creeps. Yeah.

Let's... What the hell? Get me down from
here!

Oh, no!

Kindergarteners! But where are they
coming from?

You'll be okay, man.

You'll be okay.

See, we came to this glaring, and that's
where we... He's gone!

Poor T .J.

His baseball card.

Why did I leave him? I should have
stayed here. I should have done

Hey, you did what any kid would have
done. Yeah, ran for her life and left

friend hanging there.

Oh. Look.

They've probably taken it back to their
pen. We don't have much time. Let's go.

The place is deserted.

They could be anywhere.

They've probably migrated to their
winter encampment. But what have they

with TJ?

Maybe they let him go.

Maybe he fought his way out. I'm afraid
there's a possibility of a far less

pleasant scenario.

We gotta find him, you guys. Wherever we
have to go, however long it takes, we

gotta find him. We're with you, Vince.

Let's go.

You know, I understand they use every
part of the tricycle.

The unthinkable has happened.

I am a prisoner of the kindergartners.

Time passes slowly here.

Why they've taken me? What they're going
to do with me?

Who knows?

Even they can't seem to agree.

The one in the paper hat seemed to be
their leader.

I call him Captain Sticky.

For obvious reasons.

Big Kid.

No, uh, me, TJ.

Big Kid!

But... Big Kid!

Okay, okay, I'm Big Kid, whatever you
say.

Yo, food!

Me? Food? No, no, no, not me. Don't
taste good.

Me taste bad. Yucky poo -poo.

you want to give me food?

You eat! You eat!

Uh, no, that's okay. I'm not hungry.

Maybe later?

I'm safe for now. But I can't help
wondering.

Are they giving me this food out of some
sort of twisted kindness?

Or are they just trying to fatten me up?

They were here.

Yeah, but it's dry. The trail's cold.

They could be anywhere by now. We're not
giving up. No one said anything about

giving up. Well, actually, I may have
said something.

But we're not. We're gonna find TJ or
we're gonna die trying.

I've lost all track of time now.

So far, the savages have left me alone.

But I don't know how much longer I can
hold out.

They nab me before lunch. And if I don't
eat soon, it won't matter what they do.

I've got one job now.

Staying alive.

Mmm.

Nougat.

Can it be?

They're letting me go?

Well, uh, thanks for everything. I guess
I'll just be hitting the old road.

On second thought, maybe I'll just hang
out for a while.

Nice yardsticks.

Are you kidding? That's for Kinder.

Okay, so who is that yellow?

I didn't see nothing. Come on, we know
they were here.

What do you mean? I don't know what
you're talking about.

Okay, okay, they were here.

It was terrible.

Me and the others were just hanging out
on the jungle gym and suddenly they was

all around us.

We was lucky to get out alive.

Was there a fourth grader with them?

I don't know. I said, was there a fourth
grader with them? I don't know. I

didn't see. I just ran, okay?

I just ran.

Let him go, Vince.

He didn't see anything.

But I'll tell you one thing.

If there was a fourth grader with them,
I wouldn't hold out much hope.

I don't know what's going on.

A part of me knows that what's happening
is terrible. And yet, I... I... I'm

having fun.

Nap time.

Nap! No, thanks. I'm too old for naps.
Nap!

Nap good.

Yeah, yeah. Nap good.

We've looked everywhere, Vince.

Face it, we're not going to find him. If
the kindergartners still have him, we

may not want to find him. Come on, guys,
we can't give up. This is TJ we're

talking about.

Guys, guys, look what I found.

What's that?

A half -eaten lollipop, and it's still
wet. What that mean?

Right, they can't be far down.

I knew it. Come on, let's go.

Wait. What is it?

Can I have the rest of the lollipop?

There it is. Let's go.

Missed them. We were so close.

So close.

Hey, look.

A winger dinger.

Well,

at least we found them.

What are they going to do to us? Who
knows? Probably the same thing they did

TJ.

Is it really you?

TJ gone.

I'm Big Kid now.

He's become one of them.

TJ, listen to me. You're not one of
them. You're one of us.

No! I am Kindergartner! I am
Kindergartner!

No, you're not a Kindergartner. You're
TJ, and I'm Vince.

Vince.

That's right, TJ. And this is Finnelli,
and that's Mikey, and Gretchen, and Gus.

We're your friends.

You're one of us. No!

Yes, TJ, you're a fourth grader. You
don't like finger painting and naps. You

like kickball and foursquare and Little
League.

Little...

And baseball, TJ. You love baseball.

Look.

Kirby Puckett.

Yes, TJ, yes.

It'll be okay, man.

It'll be okay.

Here, let me tie him for you.

Shoes, underpants.

I just can't get used to all this stuff.

Hey, man, it takes time.

I mean, we're out there for hours.

But don't worry, soon you'll be back to
normal.

Whatever happened out there, you can put
it all behind you. Yes, your terrifying

ordeal is over.

No, you guys, you don't understand.

I, uh, I liked it. You liked it?

Imagine it, guys. When you're a
kindergartner, you eat whatever you

whatever you want, go wherever you want
to go. There's no rules.

When you paint, you don't use a brush.

You just stick your hands right in the
paint and feel the color.

And you take naps, guys, right in the
middle of the day.

Do you have any idea how refreshing that
is?

But, TJ, it's so primitive.

Primitive? Maybe so. But I was free, you
guys.

Free. In fact, there's a part of me that
wishes I could go back.

But, TJ, you can't go back.

He's right. Even they can't go back.

What do you mean, Gretchen? Don't you
see? Their way of life is coming to an

end. By this time next year, they'll be
first graders.

So you see, Chief Stinky, in a way, I am
a kindergartner. I'm one of you. And

don't worry, I can vouch for all my
friends here. They're A -OK.

So how's about you let us go?

No! Big kids lie!

Big kids all bad!

But Yellow Boy, you watch big kids while
Stinky think of Boom Boom.

Boom Boom? What's that?

Big kids get bad punishment.

Like what?

Something bad.

Big, big bad.

That's okay, guys, because now that
Stinky's not watching, Hector can let us

Don't worry, Hector. We'll tie you up
and make it look like we conked you on

head. No! Make it stay right here!
What's with you? I thought you were a

kindergartner. I thought most of you
were nice.

Have you pint -sized delinquents gone
mad?

Emma! Zed!

Spitzer! Jake!

And yes, you too, little Hector.

It seems you've forgotten who your
friends are. That being the case, I

shall remind you. Fangirl, keep quiet!

Because there was a day not so long ago
when we let you into our lives when no

one else would have you.

That's right. Is it all coming back now?

Well, in case it's not, allow me to
elaborate.

It was, for us big kids, going to be
another carefree day of big kid fun. But

then Miss Grokey appealed to our amazing
big kid instincts for big kid

generosity.

Pee Wee Pals, an idea whose time has
come. For one week, fourth grade big

have an opportunity to interact one -on
-one with the kindergarten saplings,

playing, sharing, learning, and caring
during recess.

Here to explain more is the architect of
the Pee Wee Pals pilot program, our own

kindergarten teacher, Mrs.

Klemperer. They all just sit there
quietly, waiting.

It's beautiful.

Mrs. Klemperer? Huh? Oh, yeah. Um, well,
I came up with this peewee house thing

to, uh, help the little ones prepare for
the challenge of the numbered grades.

And buy me a little peace and quiet.

Yeah, yeah, that's all fine and good,
but what's in it for us? Good question,

Spinelli. Each of you big trees will
take away a sense of responsibility, a

deeper understanding of his slash
herself, and a better idea of how we

are all one. Oh,

and two tickets to Gonzo World Water
Park and Arcade.

Now, are there any volunteers?

Yes. They're eating it up like fudge.

This is Freddy.

Hiya, Fred. Meet Tubby. Tubby like
Freddy.

Oh, man, this is going to be so easy.
Gonzo World, here we come.

Yeah, I can smell the cotton candy and
the chlorine now.

Okay, only six more left. Kids, meet
your peewee pals.

Emma. Jake.

Cindy. Zed.

Victor. And Spencer.

Run away!

Get him!

Well, seems like they're off to a
copacetic start. Let's observe from a

distance. You mean like Cleveland?

Oh, man, this is a nightmare.

So it would remind me why we agreed to
this. For the saplings?

saplings. I was doing it for Gonzo
World. Now I'm not even sure it's worth

Not worth it? It's Gonzo World, guys.
Haven't you seen the commercials?

They got huge water slides 100 feet
tall, pounding rock music piped in the

pools, six types of corndogs, and the
Eviscerator. You guys stay up here all

if you want to, but I'm going down there
and getting my ticket to Gonzo World.

CJ's right.

No munchkin's keeping me from tasting
the spray of the world's most outrageous

water park.

I must admit, I'm intrigued by the
physics of the Eviscerator.

Corn dog.

Okay, this is gonna be cake. All we
gotta do is keep asking ourselves,

it for me?

So, kid, what do you do for fun?

Spend some paper!

Huh. Well, I'm still full from
breakfast.

Hey, how about marbles? You ever play
marbles?

Marbles are yummy! Definitely not. But
fun?

Forget about it.

Now then, this is a textbook.

It has fewer pictures and a higher
percentage of small print than you're

to, but it's packed with the collective
knowledge of all human kind. Isn't that

exciting?

Kill it!

This is a ball.

Here, catch.

Pretty flowers!

I think I'm gonna spew.

No! No!

Knock it off, will ya? Have some
dignity. You want a round act, and

over weeds and the world's gonna eat you
alive.

Yuck. Yeah, yuck. You gotta get tough.

I got it. Ever arm wrestle?

Whistle? Lesson one.

Your equipment.

Poetry. You've gotta like poetry.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the
forest of the night.

Okay. How about meditation?

Tai chi?

That you really know how to bring a guy
down.

You'll cut yourself climbing over the
sharp points on the top of the fence and

fall off and crack your head on the
sidewalk to stagger into traffic without

looking and never live to see first
grade!

Monkey bars!

Wait, wait, wait!

Monkey bars are a debt trap in primary
colors!

Ooh, candy.

No, no, not candy.

Toys. The object is to take this big
marble and use it to knock the smaller

marbles out of the circle. Watch and
learn.

You watching, kid?

What time is it? Quarter after. Why?

Time for my medication.

I can't find him, sir. Well, keep
looking.

That Marvel stunt was not good, Spencer.

Someone could have gotten hurt, namely
you and me. Me like that.

Nobody wears this hat but me.

Hey, those are the brakes, kid. Now what
are we going to do for fun?

Too short for that.

Too stumpy for that.

Too fragile for that.

Aha!

Ah, the swings.

Can't top a classic. You know how to
pump, kid? It's 50 % legs, 50 % arms,

50 % attitude.

Don't you sit there and pump!

Don't cross -swing her, girl. All those
years of pumping have given her wicked

upper body strength.

What's the matter with you? I did all
the running.

Ghosty.

Kids, I wonder if the rest of the guys
are having this much fun.

Repeat after me.

The rain.

The rain.

In Spain.

In pain.

Falls mainly in the moist temperate zone
southwest of the Paradis Mountains.

Blue bee, blue bee, blue, blue, blue.

Emma, would you like to play a game?
Game, game, game!

It's a very simple little board game
called...

And he's out of there!

I mean, not too bad, Rookie. Try to get
more loft.

I like to visualize shooting down a
blimp circling the stadium. Shoot the

Shoot the blimp!

Hey,

no shame in losing, kid. What do you
say? Best 8 out of 15?

I see a lion with shoes on.

Cloud shoes.

Yeah, kid, listen to Gus. He's pretty
with it when it comes to safety.

He taught us to always contact the
electric company to find out about

cables before starting any dig.

Wow, safety, man.

Boosty, boosty.

Hold up.

Spence, I got a hunch that Fountain's
booby -trapped. Let me check this out.

Hey, let me play, or I'll make up
something to tell Finster on you.

Man, that's a tasty way to cool off.

What are you babbling about, Detweiler?
The drinking fountain. Kinky Soda's

doing product testing. They rigged it to
dispense black cherry lime cooler.

Black cherry lime?

Out of my way!

Oh man, that was classic. Do I have an
eye or what, kid?

Kid?

Shall we play again?

Excellent fake -out, Jake. Hey, that's
your new athletic nickname, Jake the

Fake. Give me ten, Jake the Fake.

Now you're getting it. Beware doesn't
mean be afraid. It means be aware.

That looks like a fish on a trike. Yeah,
and that one looks like a double

-decker bus with a rabbit on top.

Should we call them in now? No, no, just
a few more minutes.

Oh, does the book indicate we should let
them play together longer?

No, the book indicates that Lieutenant
Chapeau is about to take one of Erin to

his well -muscled arms and... Curse! All
right, all right.

Why, this is so strange.

Good, but strange.

My kids are practically behaving.

Yeah, we thought it was going to be
tough, but the little munchkins turned

to be pretty cool after all.

Hey, I think I'm one short.

Yes, we're a TJ and a sapling.

Psst, we're down here.

TJ, what happened to you?

Oh, nothing. Except this little monster
almost got me killed.

I thought this was going to be a cinch.
Watch Little Kid for a while, go to

Gonzo World. Instead, I get bruised,
splashed, kicked, yelled at, hunted,

threatened, chased, and nearly beaten up
three different times. This kid is just

like me when I was in kindergarten.

What am I saying? I had a blast.

A blast!

Yay, TJ!

Kid, you'll go far. All you need are the
right breaks, a diverse and special

group of friends, and, of course, the
proper headgear.

Teej, are you N -U -T -S? That's your
hat.

It's okay, Spinelli. I'm going to see
the little sapling tomorrow.

They're angels.

They're practically adults.

The peace, the quiet. I might even be
able to get them to nap.

Class, let's go inside. It's time to put
away our toys.

It turned out to be a good recess after
all. Yeah, I got some exercise, made a

new pal, and best of all, I'm going to
Ganza World. There's no downside.

There he is!

Dang, I was hoping they wouldn't
recognize me without my hat.

Gotta run.

Okay, so now that I think about it,
maybe we didn't want anything to do with

at first, and maybe TJ did get into a
lot of trouble, but the point is, we

befriended you nonetheless.

And I think it's only fair to expect the
same friendship from you now.

Sorry, brain girl, but Chief Stinky's
scary!

Stinky huge! Stinky huge!

So Big Kid's bad!

Boo! Boo!

This is unbelievable.

Simply by being large, loud, and
pungent, Chief Stinky has them

intimidated. They'll do anything for him
and nothing for us.

Maybe, Gretchen, but maybe not.

There's still one kindergartner I know
who will help us. Who's that?

My friend Tubby, of course. Tubby and I
formed a friendship that will overcome

any obstacle.

Big Kid! Big Kid!

Beacon, stop talking about Tubby. Why,
look.

Here Tubby is now.

Hello, Tubby. Tubby never met you. But
of course you have. Don't you remember?

Tubby not remember nothing.

Oh, then I'd be happy to remind you. It
was the day all other students looked

forward to with great anticipation.

But not me, because for me, it had
always been a day of anguish.

That's enough, Trumpet Boy.

Students, loyal subjects, it's time for
the 25th Annual Kindergarten Derby.

You're talking what?

Derby, Gus.

Every year, it's big kids pick a
kindergartner to train and run in the

A true test of championing. The derby
runs the little types with the most

demanding obstacle course ever designed
by the hand of a kid. And the little

goofball who wins gets any wish he
wants, granted by King Bob.

I love it. It's pure competition.

Well, I don't love it. Aw, jeez. Don't
start up with that again.

The kindergarten derby is truly the
sport of kings. And as king, I say, I

first pick.

I will be the best. You think we'll get
lucky this year? Look will have nothing

to do with it. I've developed a
foolproof formula based on an evaluation

or her body structure.

What's your name, boy?

Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert!

He even talks fast.

I, King Bob, select the kindergartner
known as Gilbert to represent my world.

No! Stop, I beg of you. We can't treat
these kindergartners like cattle.

We did it last year. Well, it was wrong
last year, and wrong the year before

that, and it was wrong back when we were
small. We need to end this inhumane

charade once and for all.

Anyway, as I was saying, I picked
Gilbert.

Okay, Rabble, pick your loser.

Look at those cheekbones.

We'll take him.

Hey, Mikey, come on. Don't walk away.

Sorry, Vince. I cannot be a party to
this injustice.

I can't believe the big softy's still
bugging about what happened when he ran

the kindergarten derby. What did happen?
Sorry, Gus. We swore we'd never speak

of it. But we double grandma swore.

What are you doing, little fella?

Tubby twaining! Poor kid.

I know how it is. They're making you run
in that horrid race.

No, Tubby won't run. Tubby win big
derby. I understand.

You want to win so King Bob will grant
you your wish.

Tubby no care about wish. Tubby run to
show he good runner.

Well, who's your sponsor?

Swimmer girl? Ashley?

Tubby no have sponsor.

No one pick Tubby.

Well, little friend, a life without
disappointment is a life not lived.

You pick, giant man.

Me? No one. I refuse to participate in
the debasement of kindergartners. Race

not in basement.

Race upstairs on playground.

Ah, never mind.

Why don't you pick, Tubby? Tubby run for
you.

Sorry, Tubby, but it wouldn't be right.

Wait, you help Tubby, Twain. You be
Tubby's big brother. Tubby no have big

brother. I've always wanted a little
brother. But now it's not right.

Pretty, pretty, please, big giant boy.

Alright. You've got yourself a trainer.

When I say go... He's not coming back,
is he? No, sire.

Remember, Tubby, winning isn't
important. Just finish.

On your mark, get set, go!

I'm exhausted.

Let's break for a winger dinner.

No! Tubby want more twain!

He's as determined as he is doomed.

Okay, Sandy, let's see your stuff.

Whoa! Dude, the kid's got some wheels.

No need to thank me, although this is
evidence that my formula works.

Ooh,

ladybug! You and your lousy science.

Five minutes, 48 seconds. Not bad at
all.

Thanks. You think Tubby wins?

Uh, Tubby finish. How's that sound?

Five seconds. Hey, that's an
improvement.

Isn't that wonderful, Tubby?

Okay,

let's take five.

Tubby happy when he win big ways.

Trophy look delicious.

Tubby, try not to think so much about
winning. Just concentrate on finishing.

No, Tubby really want to win.

Don't we all, Tubby?

Don't we all?

Why, Mikey said.

It's nothing.

I was just thinking about something that
happened a long time ago.

Tell Tubby, big brother, then Tubby be
sad too, just like Mikey.

Tubby, I told you, I don't want to talk
about it. Tell Tubby, please.

Back when I was a kindergartner, I...
I... I wasn't able to finish the derby,

okay?

Mikey no finish derby?

No, and I'm the only kid in the history
of Third Street who didn't.

This bitch is so fat!

I ran away.

I just ran away.

Maybe big kids like us weren't meant to
run.

Maybe we shouldn't even try.

No, you won, giant boy.

We as good as anybody else. Me run and
race. Me finish for you.

Really? You'd do that for me?

That's what a widow bought us for.

Okay, stay loose. And remember,
visualize.

Eye of the cheetah, baby. Eye of the
cheetah.

Hey, Mikey, you picked a kid after all.
Well, actually, he picked me.

Come on, Mikey, race about to start.

Step right up. Place your bets.

Sorry, kid, I don't take frozen
desserts.

Manzilla, aren't you even going to like
that on your kid?

Actually, no.

For you see, to us, winning is
unimportant. We run for the simple

competing. The shared sense of unity at
the starting line. The human potential

expressed in a thing as simple as a
race.

Like bop, bop, bop, chicken.

Excuse me, tubby. Wait right here.

Hustler kid, I'd like to place a bet.
What you got, big guy? A winger dinger.

Easy there, big spender. Don't break the
bank. Yeah, but who can blame him for

betting small? Even he knows this kid
won't win. He's Husky.

Pigeon Toad Husky.

That's it!

Here!

I bet 37 winger dingers on my friend
Chubby.

The 25th annual Kindergarten Derby is
about to begin.

Hustler Kid, close all betting.

That did work.

None of your business.

I hate those guys.

As always, may the best little runt win.

Sound effects boy.

Run,

run! Faster, faster!

Oh, man, go!

Just finish, just finish, just finish.

The horse is pulling away. It's part of
my all sprinting strategy.

She's falling behind.

Don't worry. It's all a part of my no
sprinting strategy.

Slow and steady. Slow and steady. Slow
and steady.

Slow and steady. Slow and steady.
They're coming to clown swallow.

They're approaching the valley of
distraction, your majesty.

The valley of distraction.

It's done in more than one promising
kindergartner.

Why do you think I put the blinders on
him? You're a genius, your majesty.

A true genius.

Gilbert, getting tired. Gilbert, getting
tired.

Cindy, be, Gilbert, Cindy, be, Gilbert,
Cindy, be. Oh, Cindy.

I'm rich, I'm rich. The valley of
destruction got Cindy.

Well, there's always next year.

Hey, isn't that Mikey's kid? Yeah, it
sure is, and he's catching up on

You've got to be kidding me.

Mikey, if your kid passes Gilbert,
there's a very high probability that he

win the race.

Winning isn't important, you guys. I
just want Tubby to finish.

No, Tubby! Don't eat the wrapper!

No, eat what, but Tubby finish waste.

This bet's a part of my young charge.

But, Mikey, those odds you could win
enough winger diggers to get you through

high school.

Run, you little womper. Run to win. Win,
win, win. Come on. Giant boys say win.

Cubby wins.

Whoa. Hey, is that fat kid ours? No,
sir. We only own Gilbert. But the big

catching up. Don't worry, sir. Gilbert
will win. For your sakes. You had better

hope so.

We, uh, seem to have lost, Your
Highness.

I can see that!

Well, we might as well get this over
with.

Kids of the playground, I give you the
winner of the Kindergarten Derby, Tubby.

When the power vested in me has set down
on our constitution of the playground,

yada, yada, yada, I hereby grant you one
wish.

Tubby wish.

Tubby wish there'd be no more
Kindergarten Derby.

No more Kindergarten Derby? But... It's
a playground tradition.

The tradition's bad.

My big brother Mikey showed me that. He
act like Tommy is a person, but all you

other big kids, you treat us like
horses. You make us run and don't care

want at all.

Hey, the bigger kids did it to us when
we were little.

Just because you treated bad when you
were a little kid, don't mean you treat

little kids bad when you big.

Then I'll make it right.

Gee, I don't know.

The kindergarten derby is no more.

Go, big brother Mikey.

Did Tubby do good?

No, little friend. Tubby did great.

Now, Tubby, I'm sure you remember that.
We formed a friendship that will last

forever. Tubby?

Tubby? Tubby not know you.

I thought we would always be friends.
Don't take it personally, Mikey. He is

your friend. It's just too dangerous for
him to admit it right now. Man, we

tried sweet -talking them. We tried
being their buddies. I don't know what

to do.

Chief Sticky's leadership is so
repressive that it completely overpowers

desire to help us. There's got to be
some way we can get out of this.

Sorry, guys, but it looks like there is
no way out of this. We're getting a boom

-boom whether we like it or not.

Ah, feeling fresh and fit as a fiddle.
Hi, Gus. Where you been?

Lying down in the nurse's office.
Principal Prickly's foot care lecture

kind of dizzy.

It made me feel like throwing up. Oh,
right.

I was going to say, have you seen TJ and
the guys?

Yeah, they went that way with Mikey's
new croquet set.

Thanks, corn chip girl.

According to my trusty Beanie McWatch, I
still have 45 minutes left of good old

recess fun.

Hey, guys!

Guys? I guess they're not back here.

But hey, Flanky's croquet set.

Something bad happened here.

Something very bad.

Huh?

Don't waste your breath, Gus. These
kindergartners are ignoring every single

playground treaty since the beginning of
Third Street School. Quiet, Red Hat

Boy! Red Hat Boy? But that's TJ!

You know TJ!

What's going on? I thought the
kindergartners liked us!

They did, Gus, but it's all different
now. They've become frightening little

monsters! How come?

Do they miss their nap?

Of course, Gus.

Much worse. It appears there's been a
major upheaval in their kindergarten

social order.

He's stinky?

He's new in school. He seems to
intimidate the other tots with his size

as his smell.

Why did they bother about when we were
their peewee pals?

And the time TJ hung out with them on
recess.

And the time I helped young Tubby win
the kindergarten derby. Stinky doesn't

care about any of that stuff. And he's
in charge now. So it looks like we're

going to get massacred.

Hey! Big Kicks, be quiet! Gee, Stinky,
take his nap!

happy like this, somebody's got to stand
up to them. That's not true. That's

wrong. Oh, yeah? Well, I've got a little
story that just might change your mind.

Me? Sick of stories about how big kids
matter to us.

My story's not about that. It's not even
about you. It's about me, when I was a

kindergartner. Oh, kindergartner safety
man?

That's right.

It all happened four long years ago. My
family had just moved, and I was

starting at a brand new school.

Well, soldier, this will be your first
day in a whole new kindergarten.

I hope you're not nervous.

Are you not nervous? New King Gus makes
lots and lots of friends.

Go get him, Trooper. That's our Gus.

Hey, you big kid.

We like your school.

We're happy to be here. Heads up.

Got it, huge kid. Coming back at ya.

Hey, good throw, kindergartner kid. He's
cute.

Hey, for a five -year -old, he's pretty
cool.

Surprisingly cool. He is cool.

Your new kindergarten room. Would you
like us to walk you in? No, thanks, Mom

and Dad.

Me got it under control.

That's your spirit.

I'll pick you up after class.

Gotcha.

Me got, me new, me got, me new,
kindergarten, kindergarten, yay!

Uh, me got right room?

Oh, you have the right room, honey. This
is the kindergarten class.

And welcome to Third Street School.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You're
telling me that Finster was our

kindergarten teacher and that she was
nice?

Nothing personal, ma 'am, but you were
cool? I must say, Gus, your tale seems a

little far -fetched, especially
considering the fact that you didn't

to our school until this year. Are you
sure about that? How many of you really

remember kindergarten?

What big kid wants to remember that he
was...

I think I permanently erased it from my
brain. All I remember is my traumatic

running of the kindergarten derby.
That's what I thought. Take my word for

Before I moved here in the fourth grade,
I moved here for a while in

kindergarten, too. But Gus... Hey! Big
kid, stop gabbing! Tell more story!

Hector's sort of wondering what happened
next.

Very well, Hector. Like I was saying, it
was my first day of kindergarten at

Third Street School.

As you've already noticed, things are a
little different back then. But not just

with Miss Finster, and not just with me,
but with these guys, too.

And, of course, little Jeffrey
remembered to thank his great -aunt

brand -new velvet play suit.

He sat quietly and ate all of his kidney
pie.

And that night, he cleaned his room
extra thoroughly in hopes that his next

birthday would be just as special as
this one.

The end.

Ah, wasn't that a fun story.

All right, now it's time for a snack.

Yay! Woo -woo -woo -woo!

Snack, snack, snack!

Goodness gracious, you little monkey.

Apparently, your last kindergarten
failed to teach you proper classroom

etiquette. But that's all right.

You'll learn. Now, please line up with
your classmates.

Single file, children.

One snack apiece. Take them outside.

Be sure to use a napkin.

Enjoy your snacks.

Chew them thoroughly and dispose of your
trash in the receptacle.

Don't worry, little Gus. I'm sure before
long you'll fit in just like all the

other children.

Theodore Jasper, get what I mean?
Theodore Jasper? I'll call you TJ.

TJ sounds more neater. And it's two of
the letters that I know.

TJ. Hey, I think I like that. Nifty. So
anyway, TJ, I have a question for you.

How come is it that nobody in this
kindergarten class acts like

It makes us to be quiet. But that's not
how calm we are. How calm?

It's Mikey!

Run for your life!

Run for my life?

That's crazy.

Hi there, Mikey.

My name is Gus.

I just moved into town and... You get
Mikey's snack.

Ow!

Well done, Chief Mikey. Now back to the
palace.

In you go, your highness.

Now go behave yourself away from me. Who
are you? I am Wendell.

Wendell? Not Wendell.

Wendell. Wendell. Wendell helps protect
us from Chief Mikey.

Chief Mikey's mean.

He sure is. Tell him about what you
heard, Wendell. One time, Chief Mikey

a toddler just for kicks.

Sat on a toddler?

That's just plain evil. Yes, it is.
Lucky for you, I, Wendell, am here to

out for you. You see, Chief Mikey make
me drive his tricycle, he make me guard

his palace, but I could talk to Mikey
and keep him from sitting on you.

Remember, kids, Chief Mikey is a
dangerous, dangerous meanie. But I can

safe. Just do what I say and everything
will be okay.

Randall, you're the bestest friend a kid
could have.

I know, I know. Now scat, all of you,
and behave yourselves.

Chief Mikey told me if you don't, he's
going to pull all your hair and kick

You two, go keep quiet somewhere.

I'm going to go in and try to convince
Chief Mikey not to whip you to pieces.

Thanks, Randall.

Come on, Gus. Let's find a place to be
quiet. Hang on there, TJ.

But Mikey will hear us. He'll smush us.

Come on. No!

What are you saying, Gus?

What I'm saying is, maybe I will get
Citadon. But so what?

Kindergarten's supposed to be a crazy
place where you get messy and make

and act like animals.

This is the very last chance we get to
be like that.

And there's no way I'm letting some mean
kid take that away from me. So I'm

going to go in there and tell Chief
Mikey I'm not putting up with his

Even if it means I do get Citadon. Now
who's going with me?

TJ?

All right, then I'll do it all by
myself.

Open up the door right now!

You better go away.

I'm telling you, Mikey, those kids hate
you. All they ever do is talk about how

big and fat you are.

It's a good thing you got me working out
for you, telling you all this stuff, or

they'd get away with it for sure.

Uh, you mind passing one of those juice
boxes?

Now it all makes sense. There's only one
thing to do.

I'm going in.

That there is the most bravest thing
I've ever seen anyone ever do.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Oh no, Mikey
sat on a new boy's head.

Oh no he didn't, because Mikey wouldn't
sit on no one.

Hey Mikey, come on out.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. You can stop
saying ow, Randall. Mikey's not even

hurting you.

Enjoy, my little friend. You see,
Randall told me you all made fun of me

my back. That you said you hated me.
That hurt my feelings and made me very,

very angry.

Hey, where'd you get the fancy voice?

This is my normal voice.

Randall told me to use that mean voice
to make you more scared of me. You

should admit the truth, Randall. It'll
make you feel much better.

All right, I did it. It was the perfect
plan.

All I had to do was convince Mikey
everyone was afraid of him. That I was

only friend.

Snacks, lunches...

Oh, if my plan had only succeeded.

You've been a very naughty little boy.

But I forgive you.

You don't gotta be scared of Mikey no
more. So let's have some kindergarten

when mixed with compounds of different
viscosities, such as this peanut butter

and this jelly, makes a truly superior
goo.

bad influence.

Thank you, Randall. I never realized
what a helpful little boy you were.

And you, Griswold. I knew from the
moment you came into my classroom that

were trouble. I tried being nice to you.
I tried being nice to you all. But I

see that approach doesn't work. So,
Griswold, you're coming with me.

Where to, ma 'am? To the principal's
office.

That's right, children.

Let this be a lesson. When you don't sit
quietly and do nothing, bad things

happen.

Randall, keep an eye on these.

Miscreants! With pleasure.

You just watch what happens to your
little friend Gus, and then you'll

your tune. If Muriel P. Finster has
anything to say about this,

at Third Street School will never act
like savages again!

All right, you heard the lady. I'm in
charge here. Behave yourselves and keep

quiet. Woe is me. Our new friend Gus is
doomed.

Oh, yeah, Mikey?

Well, Gus didn't give up on us, so I'm
not giving up on him.

Today, for the first time...

I know what it's like to be a real
kindergartner, and I like it.

If it wasn't for Gus, we'd all still be
scared of Mikey.

We'd be quiet and polite, and that's
just wrong.

New boy Gus was willing to get himself
in trouble for us. And I don't know

you, but I think I'd be a crummy boy if
I didn't do just as much for him. Now,

who's going to help me?

I will.

I will.

Help me.

Include me as well.

It's TJ, Vince, and listen up, because,
guys, I got a plan.

Just like I figured.

The big kids are all in class, both slip
and undefected.

Is this Principal Brickley's office?

Gretchen, allow me to verify.

When Prickly gets here, I'll see we make
an example of that boy.

He's dead.

Oh, we're doffus over.

There you go. He's all loaded there. Way
to kiss fate.

All right, phase two. Vince? I got it,
Pete.

Mike? Vanelli? Willing and able, TJ.

Hey,

are you okay?

Whoa, I really am tough.

What are you doing? I'm busting you out.
No, Principal Prickly, there you are.

What's going on, Miss Fenster? This
better be important.

It's the principal.

I can't leave. When they come in,
they're going to expect me to be sitting

that chair. Oh, don't you worry.

There'll be someone sitting in that
chair.

I'm telling you, sir, my entire class is
acting like savages. And it's all

because of that sneaky little hoodlum,
Gus Griswold.

Griswold? The new boy? But that's
impossible.

You have the most well -mannered class
I've ever seen.

One little child couldn't change them
all in one morning. Oh, just you wait

you see him, sir. Wait till you see him.

He's right here, sir. A sneaky,
brilliant, junior criminal. What the...

made a mess.

Please change me.

Griswold!

You realize we're all gonna get in
trouble for this. That's okay, Gus. It's

worth it. Because the way I see it, I
just made the best bunch of friends a

could ever have.

You too, Gus.

And the rest is history.

I had to move away again the next day.
But me and TJ and the guys really did

become the best friends ever.

That beautiful story, Safety Man, makes
Hector happy.

Hector and I can be happy.

But you can't be all that happy, Hector,
not living like this.

I mean, it seems to me if anyone's
really prisoners here, it's you guys.

Safety Man made good point.

So I say, forget about helping us big
kids. Say what? After we get massacred,

can wash up and leave.

But this is their kindergarten.

This is your home. And those are your
friends. If you ever want to be happy

here, you've got to stand up for them.
And stand up for yourself.

You're right, Stinky Man!

Abby! Cindy!

Cap 'n Stinky! I don't love you! I have
to make you happy again!

You wake up Chief Stinky!

Oh, no!

You forgettable boy! You wake up Chief
Stinky!

Did he teach you a lesson and knock you
over?

Let's get out of here.

Gus, I gotta say, that was some quick
thinking in there. You faked him out,

Yeah, and what an imagination.

Me, scared of Mikey?

And me, a frightening ogre? Yeah, like I
could have been some wimpy guy who

wasn't the leader of our group.

Now I know you made that story up.

You're so funny, little girl. Great
story.

Of course, guys.

I just made the whole thing up to get us
out of trouble.

Well... Duh. Come on, guys. There's
still a little recess left. Let's call

big kid fun.

Perhaps we can still salvage my croquet
set.

Hey,

Miss Spencer.

There go TJ and the gang. Shall I spy on
them? Yes, Randall, you do that.

And Randall, keep an extra close eye on
Griswold for me, will you? Uh, yes, ma

'am.

Someday, Griswold.

Someday you'll slip up and I'll get
even.

Oh, yes.

I'll get even.