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"Thanksgiving"

FRANKIE: Thanksgiving around
here is all about tradition,

spending time
with your family

and being thankful
for everything you have.

Of course, everyone has
their favorite thing.

For Axl,
it's my cranberry sauce.

For Mike,
it's my mashed potatoes.

(beep)

Sue and Brick love
my home-made pie.

But what I love most

is the warm, loving feeling
I get from...

- (bell rings)
- Saving up to 80%

on the day
after Thanksgiving--

- Black Friday.
- (shouting)

Okay, it's one week
to Thanksgiving.

The mall opens at midnight,
so we've got to be prepared.

Sue's on housewares,
Axl's on sporting goods,

Brick can
ferret through the crowd,

so he's on electronics.
Then we'll all rally

- back at the escalator at 0100.
- Sir, yes, sir.

Oh, and when you invite
your dad for Thanksgiving,

can you ask him if he'll drop us off
and then wait for us

so we don't get stuck behind some
slow driver looking for a spot?

Mike...

- Can't you invite him this year?
- He's your dad.

(groans)

He's such a pain!

He'll say he doesn't want
to be a bother

and drag it out until I end up
begging him, like always.

Mike, someday that old pain in
the ass won't be here anymore,

and then you'll be
begging to beg someone.

Fine, I'll ask him,
but I'm not begging.

Can we go
to the corn maze today?

Nothing says fall in
the Midwest like a corn maze.

It's just about
the most fun thing ever.

Oh, I am not dragging my butt
through another corn maze.

- I just can't do it.
- But I've never been.

What are you talking about?
We've been a million times.

With Sue and Axl.
I never got to go.

I never get
to go anywhere.

That's 'cause
you're their least favorite.

Ironically, at the moment,
Axl was my least favorite.

Okay, we'll find a time
to take you,

but today isn't it.

Hey, can I go snowmobiling
with my friends on Thanksgiving?

No.

No, dude, I can't. She just
totally freaked out on me!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

We were square dancing
in gym class,

and this boy Brad Bottig

kept asking me to dance
all week, and then today

on the third allemande left,
he asked me to be his girlfriend!

Oh, my God!
I have a boyfriend!

(screams)

She's just a kid, Frankie.

- I don't know if I like this.
- (door closes)

Oh, this is just
an innocent junior high thing.

- Don't you think we can trust her?
- It's the guy I don't trust.

I took square dancing
for one reason--

It's a meat market.

60% off on
a power sander for Mike,

100 barrettes for Sue
at Claire's for $1,

2-for-1 cargo pants
for Brick.

(chuckling)

Look at me!
I'm trembling.

I think what I'm most
looking forward to

is watching home movies,
singing around the piano.

My niece, who I haven't seen
in 14 years is coming in.

(gasps)

I gotta get air mattresses
just to host everyone!

MAN: Bob, Hometown Buffet
called about

your Thanksgiving reservation.
They want to know if

you'd share a two-top
with a widower.

- We eat at 6:00.
- Oh, thank you!

All right, team, bring it in.
Take a knee.

Sales are
at an all-time low.

That is why I'm switching
to a 365-day schedule,

like that diner out
on Route 7.

They do very well.

Wait, wait, wait.

Are you saying that
we're working on Thanksgiving?

(scoffs) Mr. Ehlert,
that is just wrong.

Well, so is taking the country
away from a bunch of Indians,

but aren't you glad
we did?

(clears throat)
Mr. Ehlert?

What now?
Tampon machine empty?

N-no, actually, sir,
I was wondering

if I could possibly,
in any way,

have Thanksgiving off
to spend with my family?

Okay, we're gonna
play a little game called

"I be you, you be me."

"Mr. Ehlert,

"I know I'm the newest employee
with the worst sales record,

"and even though I whine
about equality for women

"in the workplace,
can I have Thanksgiving off

"so I can hug my family
all day long,

"even though two minutes ago,
you said I had to work?"

Yes?

Okay, I'm me again.
No!

(sighs) Please.

My family needs Thanksgiving,
and I'm the mom.

I have to cook in the morning,
and we eat in the afternoon.

Fine. You can
work the evening shift.

And if you're still here,
you can work all day Christmas.

Christmas?
Thanksgiving?

This man's crazy.

Who the hell buys a car
on Thanksgiving, anyway?

I know it sucks, but I'm not
gonna let it ruin our day.

We'll eat earlier,
then I'll go in to work,

then I'll meet you and the kids
at the mall at midnight.

And be sure to tell your dad
about the time change.

- You haven't invited him yet.
- I will, woman. Back off.

- (sighs)
- (door opens)

Mom, Dad?

This is brad...
my boyfriend.

(squeals)

(sniffs)

- Be cool.
- Yeah.

Hi, Brad!

(effeminately)
Hi, you guys.

Oh my gosh, I'm super excited
to finally meet my GF's P's.

"Girlfriend's parents."
I looked it up later.

Well, we are so excited
to meet you, too, Brad,

- aren't we, Mike?
- Yep.

So you--you, uh, like to...
square-dance, huh?

Oh, I just love
square dancing.

Well, all types of dance,
really, you know?

Ballet, tap, rhythmic.

O.M.G., is that
vintage flannel?

No. Just--just old.

And super cute.
(chuckles)

Well, thanks.

We're gonna go get
my "Flashdance" CD,

and Brad's gonna show me
some choreography he made up.

Well, he seems nice.

Very!

- Still worried?
- No.

You think we should
say something to Sue?

No. She'll figure it out
eventually, or he will.

What? (gasps)

The Black Friday sale
is earlier this year.

- What's earlier than midnight?
- 6:00 on Thanksgiving Day.

We have got to be there
when the doors open!

Look, the first
100 customers get 20% off

and a free soft pretzel.
All right. Okay.

I'm just gonna have to
go in and... (sighs)

I'll ask Mr. Ehlert
for a different shift.

I know
it's against the rules, but...

can Brad and I
hang out in my room?

Sure. Close the door
if we're bothering you.

So Mike finally went
to ask his dad to Thanksgiving,

which sounds easier
than it is,

'cause Big Mike's
kind of a hoarder

who doesn't like to
leave his house.

Maybe 'cause he's got too much
pride to accept an invitation,

Or maybe 'cause there's too
much crap blocking the door.

I know
you're home, Dad.

Montgomery Ward went
out of business ten years ago.

It's good to know.

So Thanksgiving's coming up.

Is it, now?

Oh, well,
the calendar says it's today.

Yeah, the calendar's
four years old, Dad.

Oh.

Anyway, Frankie's putting
together a nice dinner.

You should come.

I don't want
to be a bother.

You're not a bother, Dad.

Well, don't go
making turkey on my account.

We're making it anyway.

All of America is.

If I come,
you'll just have to

get another chair
out of the garage--

All that hassle...

Okay, Dad,
we're eating at 4:00.

Come if you want.
Don't if you don't.

That's not
much of an invite, is it?

(sighs)

Fortunately, not everyone's
too proud to beg.

Sir, I just found out
my Aunt Ginny

needs emergency surgery
on the night of Thanksgiving,

so could I please switch
to the afternoon shift

so I can take her
to the hospital?

Of course.

- Thank you, Mr. Ehlert.
- And you're working Easter.

Okay.

Got the new
Thanksgiving schedule.

It's a little funky.

We're gonna have to eat dessert
in the car on the way home,

and there's one little patch
midday where I'm gonna have to

be in two places at the same time,
but I think a test drive

or a long bathroom break
will take care of it.

So, yeah, I think
I pretty much nailed it.

I don't see
the corn maze on here.

It's only open in the morning,
then they're plowing it down.

Brick, I'm gonna teach you

a little phrase that I think
will come in very handy.

I call it, "Oh, well."

You know, we went to Disneyland
once before you were born.

It was awesome.

Poor Brick. He was
the forgotten third child,

but there was no way I could
go back in to Mr. Ehlert,

and he was just gonna have
to understand that.

So now the kidney's coming in
on an earlier flight,

which means I need to
switch to the morning shift

so I can drive the kidney to
the hospital. It's an H.M.O.

Okay.

(door closes)
I did it.

It was hard,
but I figured it out.

I put the turkey in tonight.
We all set our alarms.

We eat dinner at dawn.
I'll work until 11:00,

then we record
the football game

while we take Brick
to the corn maze,

come home, clean up, get to
the mall, and for dessert,

we split a dairy-free yogurt
at the food court.

I have a coupon.

That sounds like
the worst Thanksgiving ever.

It really does.
Can I go to Brad's instead?

I really should be with
my boyfriend on Thanksgiving.

I really just care
about the corn maze.

No. Thanksgiving is
about family.

We have Aunt Edie and Aunt Ginny
coming over and Big Mike.

Uh, maybe.

Maybe?

Probably not.

I've asked you
to do one thing--

Get your dad to come!

Do you people realize what
I have gone through this week

to make Thanksgiving
happen?

- And now you guys don't appreciate--
- (horn honks)

Oh, hey,
that's my ride.

- (grunts)
- Hey.

I figured once my friends came
to pick me up for snowmobiling,

you'd be too embarrassed
to say no.

You figured wrong.

No!

(tires squeal, vehicle departs)

You know what?

You don't care,
I don't care.

Thanksgiving...

(papers thud)
Canceled.

Way to go, Brick.

(sniffs)

Where's the good smell?

Wait. Did Mom really
cancel Thanksgiving?

- Yeah. She's at work.
- Well, who's gonna make the turkey?

Who's gonna bake
the frozen pies?

Who's gonna open
the can of cranberry sauce?

Not Mom.

- Dude. That sucks.
- (can thuds)

That's why we're gonna
pick up the slack

and pull Thanksgiving
together for her.

That sounds hard.

It's not hard.
It's not hard at all.

Watch.

(liquid drips)

FRANKIE: So what if we had
no Thanksgiving?

Just another day,
just another dinner.

Not like anyone
cared anyway.

Guess who made yams
with little marshmallows

for Thanksgiving dinner?

Oh, my God. I forgot
to tell you. I canceled that.

A phone call
would have been nice.

(thud)

(sighs)

Seven hours? I'm gonna have
to barbecue this thing.

While I do that,

I want you to take your brother
to the corn maze.

Oh, God. Do you just,
like, stay up late

trying to figure out ways
to ruin my life?

Yes.

Oh, hey, can I invite Brad
over to help?

It's Thanksgiving.
Won't his parents miss him?

Oh, they're just so excited
he has a girlfriend.

I could see that.

I wonder what our kids
will look like.

Mm. Depends what country
you get 'em from, right?

Axl.

Wow.
Now I get why they say

the corn's as high
as an elephant's eye.

(whispers)
Elephant.

You know when I saw
an elephant?

When Mom and Dad took us
to Africa on that safari.

(normal voice)
They did not.

Did, too.
I peed in the Nile.

'Sup?

Brick?

Brick?

Brick!

There we were,
stuck working on Thanksgiving,

waiting for customers
who'd never come.

This is insane!

Nobody's gonna buy a car today.
Why are we even here?

Oh, my--I just want to go home,
eat with my family,

enjoy some holiday savings
and a free hot pretzel.

That is my right
as an American.

He can't take that away.

Frankie is right. We should say
something to 00:13:05,040
He can't say no to all of us.
Right?

- That's right.
- Let's do this.

Let's do it.

Mr. Ehlert?

(turns off TV)
(clears throat)

We have something
to say.

"We"?

I guess it's I.
I have something to say.

It's Thanksgiving,
Mr. Ehlert.

We're supposed to be
with family, people we love,

not people we sort of like
because we work with them.

(voice breaking)
My wife left me.

(crying)

Oh.

Brick?

Brick.

Hey, have you seen
a little kid about...

This tall?

I lost my little brother,
you know.

I lost my little brother
in the corn maze in '53.

When the wind
rustles the leaves,

I can still
hear him calling.

Brick!

Now it all made sense.

Mr. Ehlert wanted to stay open
on Thanksgiving

'cause he didn't want to face
the holidays alone.

Sit with me, Frances.

Well, I-I did have
a kidney to pick up,

but, uh...

Okay.

(door closes)

(continues pouring)

Brick!

Brick! Brick!

Where are you?

Better find him
before they start plowin'.

Can't see a little boy from
high up on the corn chopper.

Brick!

Brick! Brick!

- (whistling)
- (crows cawing)

Aunt Ginny and Aunt Edie
are here.

(doorbell rings)

Great.
Maybe they can help.

- (both snoring)
FRANKIE: Aunt Ginny and Aunt Edie

haven't been able to help
since 1978.

(singsong voice)
Happy Thanksgiving!

(squeals)

It's my boyfriend!

I made you this centerpiece
from the bounties of nature.

Oh, God.
You're so romantic.

P.S., Mr. Heck,

there's a strange man
parked in front of your house.

(male announcer calling
sports game indistinctly)

Hey, Dad.
What are you doing?

Just listening
to the game.

You drove across town
for that?

Reception's
better over here.

Plus I heard someone
threw a bread maker out

in this neighborhood.

Well, as long as you're here,
you might as well come in.

We're barbecuing
a whole turkey.

I don't want to be a bother.

You're not a bother, Dad.
I want you to come in.

Please.
I'm begging you.

Thanksgiving wouldn't be
the same without you.

We wouldn't know what to do
if you didn't come.

Yep,
no stopping tradition.

(indistinct speaking stops)

Guess I can listen
to this inside.

(door opens)

Brick!

Brick! Hey!

Oh, my God!
Please help me find my brother!

- He's lost, and I'm so scared!
- Um, what's he wearing?

Uh, he's got, like,
a green jacket and a yellow hat,

and oh, my God,
he's dressed like corn.

We are never gonna
find him in here!

BRICK: Hi.

Brick! Oh, my God.

I'm never letting you
out of my sight, okay?

Never, ever, ever, never,
ever again, all right?

'Sup?

(groans)

(both laughing)

You know what, Frances?
Go home.

Go be with
your perfect family.

Perfect?

My son
wanted to leave me

and spend Thanksgiving
with his friends.

- No!
- Yeah.

And don't even get me started
on my husband and his dad. Ohh.

(whirring)

(turns off saw)

Grandpa Big Mike!

- Boys!
- How was the corn maze?

- Axl hugged me.
- Oh, shut up, dweeb.

(whispers) I love you.
I love you so much.

You know what,
Mr. Ehlert?

I can c-call you that,
right, mr. Ehlert?

Mm.

(whispers)
I used to be scared of you.

(normal voice)
I was.

But you're just a big,
old teddy bear, right?

Marcy used to call me
her teddy bear.

Damn shame she couldn't get
over me working Thanksgiving.

Wait.

Hold on.

Are you kidding me?

I thought you were working today
because your wife left you,

but your wife left you
because you're working today?

Kept saying, "You can't
keep the dealership open!

Your only daughter's
coming in from Hawaii."

She can't tell me
what to do.

Oh, my God!

How dare you make me
waste my Thanksgiving

feeling sorry for you?

You don't deserve
my sorry.

You know who deserves
my sorry? Me.

I'm going home.

And fire me,
don't fire me,

I don't care.

But if you're on the fence,
don't fire me.

(snoring)

(sighs)

(door opens)

FRANKIE:
Thanks for the ride, Bob!

She's here.
Let's surprise her.

(keys jangling,
doorknob rattling)

ALL: Surprise!

(gasps) Ohh!

Happy Thanksgiving, honey.

They did care.
They are perfect.

Come sit down.

(singsong voice)
Sit down, sit down.

Oh, and this all looks
so yummy.

- Hey. Mm.
- Mm.

Frankie, you forgot your...

"Canceled dinner"?
(purse thuds)

God, this is like high school
all over again.

Oh, no, Bob.
They surprised me...

My wonderful, sweet family.

I am so sorry
I yelled at you.

- We're sorry, too, honey.
- We love you, Mom.

I love you, too.

(voice breaking)
I got extra yams in the car...

with little marshmallows.

(door closes)

Here comes the gravy.

I'm--I'm gonna go cry
in the toilet.

Mike, come hold my hair.

And that's the last thing
I remembered.

And though I didn't
make it to the mall,

- I was there in spirit.
MIKE: Frankie?

Oh, what did I buy?

Power sander, 80% off.

Did we make
the houseware sale on time?

We got the bacon press.

Good girl.

FRANKIE:
Thanksgiving's the time

you appreciate
your family the most.

But the one Thanksgiving
I didn't spend with my family,

I appreciated them
more than ever.

See, kids? Let this be a lesson.
Drinking is not cool.

Mike, I told them
I had the flu.

See, kids,
lying is also not cool.

Honey, why don't we close
this up just a little bit?

There you go.
We have company.

Okay. Night, honey.
Happy Thanksgiving.

(door closes)

Sync and Edits: VeRdiKT
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