Original subtitles

It's picture time!

This is going to be the craziest jump ever!

We're about to grab some mooja.

Here we go.

Three, two, one.

I think one of our wheels got off the ground.

Guess we didn't need the parachute. I actually think my cape slowed me down.

Well, I thought the cape was the only thing that worked, but...

Boy,

I hope I can make it back to the house without this cake slowing me down.

A lot of attitude.

Get back to the drawing board.

So maybe... Oh, good.

Right on time.

Please, have a seat.

Always funny.

Let's cut to the chase.

I'm looking for someone to record a fail.

And epic fails for my website.

I'm willing to offer you $1 for fails and $2 for epic fails.

$2? Someone should be filming this.

Could that offer was an epic fail?

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

Fine, okay?

If you guys don't want to do it, there are plenty of other people who will.

Luna. Busy.

Oh, Lucy.

I know what you're going to ask. The answer's no.

Someone's in great danger.

Name your price.

Five bucks for a fail. And ten for an epic fail. You got yourself a deal.

Hey!

Always funny.

It's out of water.

Get you here.

You write this better than the one I normally get?

Oh, no. It's Karen Frickley. Who? She's that... crazy parent from the middle

school. She's the one who got crayons banned from the entire school district.

Apparently her kid got like a crayon shard in his eye and she went ballistic.

She's the worst.

Karen!

Awesome job on that crayon ban.

Love the crayon ban.

Well, I told them if I smell so much of the whiff of crayon on my sweet Hudson,

they'd be very sorry.

I heard it was a unanimous decision.

Actually, Mrs. Watkins voted against me.

Oh. Let's just say she's no longer with us.

Oh.

Oh, I don't know if you heard, but Hudson got motion sickness at recess on

of those awful swings. So I'm hosting a fundraiser this afternoon to demolish

the playground. Can you guys make it? You know, we can't.

Because...

We're refinishing... All of our wood floors.

I'm going to do that, too, as soon as my husband makes some real money.

Well, I'll swing by and check it out as soon as we destroy the playground.

Please do.

Hi.

Right now we have to refinish the floors?

You said refinishing. I was going to say refinish Rocky, too.

I think we just doubled our launch angle.

We're going to touch the guy.

Impressive, Ram.

Hey, Hudson.

That thing is cray -cray.

We're not letting any bikes off until we do some reinforcements.

Oh, no, I didn't bike over here. I walked.

My mom makes me wear the helmet.

She said there's a lot of uneven pavement in our neighborhood.

Oh, plus, it's pinecone season.

Can't be too safe.

Hudson is the neighborhood mammoth boy.

He's the kind of guy that makes Clyde and I look tough.

So we don't mind him coming around.

Are these drinks for anyone?

No.

This is my cold drink grabbing glove.

Yeah, that is cold.

I got it.

I've looked in it for you.

Sure. Hey, Hudson.

She knows my name.

Sweet helmet.

Hey, Lisa.

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

No. Why? Good food. No atmosphere.

That's funny.

Why don't you laugh?

Because it makes no sense.

No, that's funny because the moon has no atmosphere.

Actually, it's a common misconception that the moon is devoid of an

Though it does have one. It's very thin.

Much like your comedic premise.

Thus rendering your joke not funny.

You know, Amy White once said, comedy is like a frog.

If you dissect it, you'll kill it. Actually, they've invented a laser where

can dissect a frog without killing it.

What I'm saying is comedy doesn't have to make sense.

Then mission accomplished.

Do you know what, Lisa? Maybe you should just stick to science, because science

will never out -funny comedy.

That sounds like a challenge.

We just need you to act like you're getting out of bed and then fall.

And if you can smash your face on the way down, that'd be ideal.

I can do that easy.

not get the joke.

My face.

Luann, you may dismiss it. Doesn't matter. I wouldn't have given you any

for that.

Looked totally fake.

Are you kidding me?

I led with my face.

Have you guys heard about the restaurant on the moon?

We can't go to restaurants until we make the money.

Once Hudson referred to our ramp as cray -cray, we knew we had to take it up a

notch to super cray -cray.

This is going to be epic.

Me and Lenny made these thick outfits.

It was so comfortable, I made one for myself.

And Lizzie.

Something terrible is about to happen.

But it's not these suits.

I'm just saying that to me, the phrase no longer with us means dead.

Has anybody seen Miss Watkins?

Hey, where are you going?

To rent a belt sander at the hardware store so we can refinish all of our

floors. Oh, my mom wants to do the same thing.

Hey,

Hudson. How you doing? We just ran into your mom. Who is lovely, by the way.

Uh, could you excuse us for one second?

What are you guys doing?

Clyde and I are going to jump off this bike ramp.

Not with Hudson.

Not to mention, it's pine cone season.

Either Hudson goes home or you're going to shut all this down.

No, his mother is a monster.

And he's as fragile as a gingerbread man.

Are you guys scared of Hudson's mom?

No. A little.

Now we're going to the hardware store.

Either he goes or all this goes.

And no crayon.

Shut it down.

I love a peek.

Sweep up these pine cones.

Ow.

Hey, Hudson.

How do you feel about heading home? Oh, I can't. My mom's at a meeting and all

my babysitters are no longer with us.

Hey, Luna.

How's the best sister in the world?

What do you guys want? We need you to occupy Hudson for a while.

Sorry, I'm restringing my guitar.

Hudson does have very tiny hands.

He could come in very handy.

Okay, Hudson, grab the varnish and just come with me. Can I go get my varnish,

Golf?

No.

Okay.

Mission accomplished.

Time to kiss the sky.

Hey, have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? I have no time to talk.

Dangerous clothes that hand.

Hudson, have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? I can't eat at

restaurants unless my mom pre -approves the menu.

Hey, Luna, have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

Where do you go?

It's funny because it's true.

What's going on? Oh, you said that science could never out funny comedy? So

downloaded five decades of stand -up specials onto Todd's hard drive, and

already generated his own hour -long special.

Lisa, you can't put 50 years of comedy into a blender and have a robot spit it

out. That's not funny.

The raucous laughter seems to suggest otherwise.

So it doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't have to make sense.

Comedy's like a frog. If you dissect it, you'll kill it. Your words.

Though they have invented a laser where the frog... I know about the frog.

Yeah,

that sounds perfect.

Nice job, Hudson.

Okay, let's do the next one.

Put this through here.

All right. Put your finger right here.

You've got perfect hands for this. Well, thank you. I like to keep them all

protected. I'm just going to string this right through here.

No, good at that.

I think you deserve a break.

Care for an ice -cold drink?

My mom doesn't let me have sugary soda.

Your mom's not here, Hudson.

Excellent point.

Hudson?

Hudson?

Hudson? Come on, we got five more guitars to restring.

Whoa. Whoever goes off that ramp is a madman.

Oh!

What was that?

It looked fake.

Well, the pain is real.

Luann's right.

You're not good at this at all.

You just can't do it.

Never tell Lin Loud she can't do something.

This launch angle?

We're going to have to start at the top of Thrill Hill if we want to get enough

feet. This thing is insane.

I say we send Tanya on a dry run before we go pedaling towards disaster.

She's quite starting to sound like Hudson.

I'm a magnet.

I'm a magnet.

So close.

Got it.

Now that was epic.

Definitely epic.

Ow!

That was insane.

You must have flown like 60 feet.

Is it bad?

It's not that bad. That was crazy, Addison. You could have died.

I did it for Luna.

Are you free for dinner Friday?

I have a girlfriend.

I don't want to go home.

Should we call his mom? There's a copy of her number in every one of my

We can't call his mom. She'll kill us. Maybe we should call your parents. We

can't. You heard my parents. They didn't want Hudson anywhere near that ramp.

We've got to fix him up before they get home.

All right, let's get him in the house.

Three, two, one.

Hey,

gang! Hey!

Be careful in there. We're standing on the floors.

Hudson! My favorite guy. Put her there.

There you go.

Hi. Oh, you have lovely nails.

You're looking a little pale. Are you feeling okay?

Oh, he's just hungry.

Here,

have some grapes.

Wow, you really are hungry.

My mom usually cuts them in half.

You know what? Maybe we don't use the knife.

Please don't tell your mother.

You had that. How about we try a banana instead?

Oh, I'm full.

Well, we're going to get out your hair now so you can get back to your floors.

Have fun.

Bye, Hudson.

This ladder sure is rickety.

Hope nothing bad happens.

Are you tricking me?

Did anyone see that?

Fake.

in several places.

What do I do?

Stop going to those places.

Wait, I thought Todd was a good doctor. Well, I may have filled up his hard

drive with stand -up comedy and it pushed out his digital medical degree.

I've never been in so much pain.

Wait until you see my bail.

You want a war, Lisa? You got one.

Maybe we should get a second opinion.

I have a second opinion.

You're ugly.

Enough of this child's play. It's time to amputate.

You're going to cut my arm off?

No, your leg. Don't worry.

You'll be back on your foot in no time.

Kids!

Hey, has anyone seen my drill?

No drills in here. What is a drill?

Ding dang darn it. Now we have to buy a new one.

What are you guys doing?

We're doing drills.

Dance drills.

Well,

that's fun.

I think Hudson needs an actual doctor.

But we don't have an actual doctor.

But we do have a chef.

Clyde, I'm way ahead of you.

Butter night? Butter night.

I'm not supposed to have butter?

Brett. Brett.

Is it going free?

Juice box.

Juice box.

I'm nervous.

I'm hungry.

I'm bored.

I'm scared.

You're going to feel a little pressure here. That's doctor talk for pain.

Frosting. This bag is only half full.

More than half.

Um, is this movie going to work?

Yeah. Don't worry. I'm a baker.

All right.

Got your story straight?

Yep. Then let's do this.

And remember, Hudson, don't add any extra details, because when it comes to

lies... If you dress him up, you mess him up.

Exactly.

You got this.

I won't let you down.

We did it again. I never doubted her.

That's right, Clyde. Because no one gets into and out of more trouble than

Clinkin' McCloud.

Jeez, Hudson.

It's not rocket science.

Just lie to your mom already.

No need to lie. I know what happened.

I want to speak to your pairing.

Right now!

It's so expensive. Everything's just... What happened?

What did you do to Todd? He's despondent.

I downloaded five decades of the most depressing scientific facts.

into his mainframe.

Mars is populated entirely with robots, but they'll never meet each other.

You use comedy against me, so I do science against you. That dirty pool.

Come on, Todd.

Snap out of it.

Todd just can't right now.

Tell me a joke.

I will tell you a joke. The world's response to climate change.

Good one, Todd.

Let me get this straight.

We told you not to do the ramp. You did the ramp. We told you to send Hudson

home. He didn't go home. Hudson went off the ramp, broke his arm. His mom saw it

on the Internet, and she's in the other room right now.

That's right.

Good luck. Hey.

Oh, I don't want to.

She's so scary.

Karen!

Hey. We just want you to know that we found out what happened, and we take it

very, very seriously.

Wasn't me.

Give it a minute.

I'm sorry, Luanne.

You made that comment about science and I overreacted.

I shouldn't have put those recycled jokes into Todd.

I mean, without people like you, there'd be no jokes at all.

I overreacted too, Ann.

I'm sorry.

I'd love to hear another joke if you have one.

I do.

Why can you never trust Adam?

I don't know. Why?

Because they make up everything.

It's funny because it's true.

Although technically, energy... You know what?

It's funny.

of all the irresponsible but negligent but boneheaded things you could do

sending my son off that death ramp is easily the most irresponsible

negligent boneheaded boneheaded thing ever done mark my

words you're gonna end up just like mrs watkins who is no longer with us

Look, Karen, I know this looks bad, but rest assured, in this house, a child's

safety is our number one concern.

Now

that

looks real.

Yes!

I've seen enough.

We can explain. Just hear us out. You will be hearing from my lawyers and from

my husband, who is also a lawyer.

You're going to cover every penny of my sweet boy's medical expenses, and you're

going to spend the rest of your lives paying for the therapy that he will need

to overcome the emotional trauma that this family has caused him.

Hudson, come on. Your car seat is heated and waiting. I'm not going anywhere.

Don't talk back to me. We will... Disgust us at home after you take a warm

I should have went with sourdough.

I don't want a warm bath.

Today was the first day of my entire life that I felt truly alive.

I felt the wind in my hair. I felt my heart beating in my chest.

I ate a whole grape.

And I loved it.

No. Yes.

And I'm hungry for more. I want to take chances.

Push myself.

And I want to feel a cold drink in the palm of my hand.

Okay,

that is freezing. Sorry.

And I want to look at the girl I love in the eye and tell her she's the one.

Still have a girlfriend.

I gave it a shot.

The louts aren't the problem, Mom.

You are the problem.

So you're not going to call those lawyers, and I'm not getting in the car

you. I will be walking home without a helmet.

You really are a madman.

Yes. A madman that needs to go to an actual doctor.

Let's make a hole. Here you go. Hey, Hudson, be careful. Those floors have a

certain codex.

That was my good arm.

I'll get some more bread. I'll get the drop thingy.

This is my song.

I dance too.

Everybody dance to my song.

These are the lyrics that I wrote, girl.

You can dance to my song.