Original subtitles

It's picture time!

In the house! In the house!

Our heroes gazed victorious over the wasteland that was the only home they

knew. And then I can say, the robots thought they could replace us.

And then I'll say, but we had the most powerful weapon of all.

Friendship.

We did it! Robot Wars is done!

Clyde and I finally finished our first screenplay.

Now, as filmmakers, we just need the money to make our masterpiece.

I got a nickel and a piece of already chewed gum.

I got a quarter and the same piece of gum.

Well, looks like we're going to have to make money the old -fashioned way.

Beg our parents?

We don't have time for that.

We're going to have to get jobs.

Hey, there they are, the two hardest working sandwich jockeys in town.

How was your first day?

A lot of people complain about their jobs, but it turns out work is a really

good way to make money. People love it when you hand them hot, delicious food.

set aside two piping hot servings of my famous lasagna for you guys.

Sorry, Dad, but we're good. Yeah, we get to bring home any mistakes, though.

I got bell peppers, patrami, and peanut butter.

I got a meatball stove with one undercooked meatball.

I don't know which one it is, but I'm feeling lucky.

I had to fight the twins just to get these two servings.

And by the way, since they got their new teeth, they can do some serious damage.

There you go.

Piping hot.

We're going to stick with these sandwiches, but, uh, here's a little

for your troubles.

All right, guys, let's go work on our movie. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Did you guys finish your homework?

I don't know.

Did we?

Hey, I was just about to text out a joke. You guys want to hear it?

We don't, but keep the chuckles coming.

We're big fans.

LOL? She didn't laugh out loud.

She didn't laugh at all.

That was the longest day of my life.

And I was in labor with Lenny for 38 hours.

Rough day at work, huh?

Well, it might be time for one of Lynn's famous foot rubs.

Oh, honey, you had a long day, too.

Oh, nonsense. Come on. Sit down and relax.

So, sweetie, how do you like that?

No.

When we first meet our heroes, I think they should be in all black.

To symbolize the darkness of the journey that awaits them. No, because it looks

cool. But you're a thing, too. You know what else looks really cool? An eye

patch. Dad, where do you land on eye patches?

Oh, well, that depends. Is the movie rated R?

A little pirate humor.

Oh, boy.

This isn't good.

Not good at all.

It's just an eye patch.

Let's not let your one bad idea ruin our movie.

I think there are two undercooked meatballs in that sub.

Clear the bathroom, people.

Oh,

I better go.

He might need a second roll of toilet paper. Oh, well, I'll be right here

waiting for you.

Well, could it be ours?

Then I will catch you tomorrow.

I'm home.

Off to work.

They gave us the dinner shake. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I've got takeout from Lynn's table. It's Tortellini Tuesday.

Sorry, Dad. Gotta go.

Here's a little thing for you, Chuck.

I don't want your money.

Listen, I'm going to save some turtle pie for you guys. I just have to make

that Lola and Lana... Give me that! You little monster! Thanks, Dad!

You believe this? I get no respect.

Those guys cannot stop giving me money.

Another long day, huh? Oh, hey!

I've been limbering up, huh?

Getting ready to attack those tootsies.

Well, actually, you can have the night off because I got a new pair of shoes

my feet feel fantastic.

Look at these babies.

Oh, when did you get those?

Well, the office girls and I started a walking club at lunch, so I figured I

would treat myself to a new pair of shoes.

Oh, speaking of treats, I got your favorite, turtle pie.

And as soon as I wrestle it back from the twins, you can dive in.

Are you sure you don't want a foot rub?

And she's gone, too.

We'll see you tomorrow with another 12 -inch tuna.

Hold the mail!

This is the greatest job ever.

People are just handing us money. Our special effects budget is going to be

huge. Nothing can stop us now.

This is not good.

That seemed intentional.

Are you allowed to do that? Let her get it out of her system.

Over the past two days, it has been brought to my attention that this family

a bunch of liars.

Through my research, stalking, whatever, I... I have concluded that every single

person in this room is guilty of fake laughing at my funny texts. When you

something and I ha -hi, it's just me trying to be courteous and move on with

day. Move on with your day?

Oh, and you.

Notice how my face matches the emoji?

Not that hard, people. Last month you sent me over a hundred jokes. You can't

expect me to actually laugh at all of them.

That would be like batting a thousand in baseball.

You should be happy if I laugh at three out of ten.

You only laugh at three out of ten of my jokes?

Lucy, surely your ha -ha's mean something.

If you write ha -ha, it means you acknowledge the text, but you want to

conversation. Much like I'd like to end this conversation now.

So, ha -ha.

Wow.

Just wow.

Sometimes your jokes can be really confusing.

And what does it mean when you send a joke and bad news in the same text?

Like when you said Aunt Ruth broke her hip and she's at the hospital?

Then you made a joke about hospital food. If I ha -ha that joke, I'm ha -ha

that Aunt Ruth broke her hip. For the record, the appropriate response would

obviously be... Ha -ha.

P -T -Y -L.

Red Cross -Modern.

And that.

I'm listening. You're my comedy compass.

You're the person I trust the most.

Huh?

Can you film this?

And you betrayed me.

If you don't like one of my jokes, you have to tell me it's not funny. You

lie. As parents, it's our job to encourage our children and support their

dreams. Wait, so you and Mom have been lying to all of us?

I wouldn't call it lying.

That's exactly what it is, actually.

You guys think total honesty is the way to go?

Let's do it. From now on, we're all going to be totally honest about

all the time.

I'll start.

I'm tired of this conversation, so I'm leaving.

Wait, I'm not leaving. I'm the dad.

I'm going to stay right where I am, and you all can leave.

I'm going to get back to my magazine and find out what is in when you're out on

the town.

Tight tank tops.

and sunglasses that bring out your personality.

I don't know what to tell you, boys.

Artificial intelligence is the wave of the future, and Goldbox is the first

step. He's efficient.

He's customer -friendly.

He can even tell you your horoscope.

Go ahead. Give him your sign.

Ares. Ares, your job is in danger.

Aquarius. Aquarius, your job is also in danger.

He's not wrong. Mr. Kim, we need this job to help finance our movie.

We'll work twice as hard. We'll come in on the weekends.

We'll wash our hands before we handle the food.

Just please give us a chance.

I'll tell you what I'll do. I have two days left before I have to purchase this

or return it.

If you boys can outperform this modern miracle, the job is yours.

You won't regret your decision.

We're going to run circles around this waitress on wheels.

Game on.

Operation Sticky Sidewalk is foolproof.

He's going to go right into that wet cement and get stuck.

Time to turn that robot into a nobody.

That's the perfect line for me to say at the end of our movie. I thought I was

playing Magenta Jones.

No, you're playing Abernethy McCoy, the absent -minded yet brilliant scientist.

Does he have an eyepatch? No, he does not.

What happened?

The cement's supposed to be...

Wet. Ow, my eye.

Don't happen to Clyde.

Commence operation, hole in one.

This is so exciting. He's going to fall right into that hole, and his sandwich

delivering days are over.

That doesn't make any sense.

Who's supposed to fall right into the water?

A little help?

Anybody out there?

Sarah!

Brenda.

What can I do you for?

Rita forgot her quiche pan at the office.

I was on my walk home, so I figured I'd drop by.

Look at you, walking home in the walking club at lunch.

There is no walking club at lunch.

Huh. Well, Rita said there was a... Brenda!

Don't listen to him.

He's thinking about my book club that I walk to.

Thank you for returning my pants. No problem.

Wait, there's no walking group at lunch?

Oh, no, there is.

But we just don't invite Brenda.

She's kind of a negative Nellie. You know, she brings everybody down.

So I lied to her to protect her feelings.

See? Great minds think alike. I was just saying the same thing to the kids.

Oh, well, that's why we make such a great team. What is going on here?

You like it here.

I'm telling you, with you and I as parents, our kids are just going to go

up, up.

Ooh.

Yellow.

I'll be right there.

Lincoln fell in a hole. Oh, God.

I can't believe Dad doesn't think we can handle being honest with each other.

Yeah, I mean, we don't keep any secrets from each other. Like, Lana knows I

think she snores like a polar bear.

Wait, what? You never told me that.

Yeah, you probably didn't hear it because you were snoring like a polar

What? I don't snore bad.

Well, we don't hear you at all, Lynn, but we do smell you.

What are you talking about?

Your smelly gym socks.

My gym socks don't smell.

I use one of them to knock out hops for his dental surgery.

You can laugh at that, but you can't laugh at my tech.

Anyone can see that's funny.

Well, I'm surprised you can see anything through those ridiculous bangs.

What? You have funny bangs.

Maybe I should use one of your tiaras to pull them back.

Oh, wait. I don't wear tiaras.

Because I'm not three.

Yeah, I said that.

Okay, okay, that's enough.

Why are you defending her?

Since we're being so honest here, here's a little truth bomb.

I'm Luna's favorite sister.

No, I'm Luna's favorite sister. But she wrote a special song about me.

The secret favorite sister song?

The secret favorite sister song. Who?

Who? I know we'll always get along. Who?

Who? She's my favorite and I'm so proud to say her name is... It's Loya

Loud! Dude, what a mom.

What about the tiara, though?

Thanks for getting us out of that hole.

Well, it wasn't the first time. It won't be the last.

Good luck defeating that robot tomorrow.

Fine, then none of you are my favorite sisters.

What's that about? Oh, well, your sisters are being honest with each

was my idea. I'm doing it, too.

Sometimes people just need to hear the straight poop.

Hey, there's my rock star.

Looking good.

That was not one of those times.

Have you seen my new walking shoes?

I thought I left them here by the door.

Oh, no walking shoes. Well, I guess when you get home tonight, guess who's

coming out of retirement?

This little piggy went to the market, and this little piggy went to heaven.

Oh, I just remembered. I left them at the office.

Because that's where I do my walks with my walking club.

Which I already told you about.

Okay, well, I guess no foot rub necessary. Back on the holsters, boys.

I'll see you after work. Love you.

I gotta stay away from those meatball stuff.

Don't forget to wash your hands.

Yep, hope no one's in there. We're washing our hands now.

Wow, looks like you guys really took it up a notch. That robot doesn't stand a

chance.

I'm even wearing Mom's new shoes for maximum speed.

Turns out my lady's fine.

Who knew?

But Mom said she left her shoes at the office.

I'm rubbing your feet.

Lucky me.

The office girls and I started a walking club at lunch. There's no walking club

at lunch. I lied to her.

You lied, all right.

Lincoln, I'm going to need those sneakers.

Looks like the shoe's on the other foot now, Rita.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, too.

You guys are all my favorite sisters.

Bogey, grinder, hero, club, there ain't no doubt it's like the New Geo Club!

Let's do this! Bogey, grinder, hero, club, there ain't no doubt it's like the

New Geo Club!

Bogey, grinder, hero, club, there ain't no doubt it's like the New Geo Club!

Another rough day at work. Yeah.

Hey, did you ever find your sneakers for your walking club? Or should I say your

lying club?

Are you implying that your lovely wife, after 25 years and 11 children, would be

lying to you?

If the shoe fits.

When we first started dating, you gave me that one foot rub, and I didn't want

to hurt your feelings, so I said that I liked it. I was feeling so good about

myself, and it was all lies.

But look at this.

A trophy for foot rub of the year.

A plaque.

For Mr.

Footrub. Yep. And a doctorate from Footrub University.

You made all of those!

I feel so betrayed.

I assumed over time you'd get better, but somehow you got worse.

Every Friday night, you're down there popping capillaries like bubble wrap.

Oh, wow.

What is going on down here?

I have been giving your mother foot rubs for 25 years, and she's been telling me

she likes them to protect my feelings.

Isn't that exactly what you've been preaching to her? That if you don't want

hurt someone's feelings, it's okay to lie?

Not to me.

I'm sensitive.

Uh -huh.

We lost?

How can that be? We delivered over 100 subs.

Yes, but only 12 of those estimated to their destination.

I mean, look at this. Did you guys stuff one down a chimney?

Yeah, I'd screw it right up there.

I'm sorry, guys.

Before you make your decision, think about this.

Your so -called robot may be able to replace human beings, but it will never

replace the human touch.

Spirit. The human spirit.

You're going to have to ask yourself one question, Mr. Kim.

Which side of history do you want to be on?

The side of the robots or the side of the human race?

It's your choice.

He fired you? No thank you? No nothing?

Well, he did give us a couple of mistake subs.

I got another meatball sub.

And I think all three meatballs are bad.

The sauce may have turned, too.

Replaced by a robot.

Well, I guess that's the way the world's going.

Look at your mom. I've never seen her so happy.

Oh, thank you, honey. This is amazing.

You guys will find another job to pay for the movie.

We decided we're not going to make the movie.

But you've got to make the movie.

What's the point?

No one's ever going to believe the humans could beat the robots.

Like, that's why people go to the movies. So they can believe the

Look, you two are filmmakers.

It's your job to inspire the world. You have the power to take people on a

journey and make them believe there's a chance for a better tomorrow.

You're right.

We can inspire people.

It's finally finished. Gather around. This is going to be the best movie to

premiere. Yes!

Let's go!

We did it!

Breakdown!

Hurry, McCoy! We have to escape!

Why didn't I read for this?

Looking good, guys.

Hey, hey, I made the cut. Yeah!

I warned you. I could do this all day.

Take that, robot.

But we knew we had the most powerful weapon in the universe.

Friendship.

That's why the robots will never replace the human.

Or deliver a sandwich.

It's going to be a minute.

So,

what did you guys

think?

The truth?

It was amazing.

So good.

Thank you.

I wasn't really sure in the beginning, but it really picked up in hour three.

Yes.

Guys,

great job.

Really good.

We could have used a couple intermissions.

You think they really liked it?

It doesn't matter what they think, Clyde.

What matters is if we liked it.

Did you like it?

No.

But the sequel's going to be amazing.

Let's fire up that laptop.

Hey, I'm thinking Abernathy has, like, a dog.

Like, I was thinking the exact same thing.

Robot Wars is a ratcheting.

You think you're going to win, you better catch again.

Magenta Jones, Abernathy, McCoy. I'm coming for the robot boy, oh boy.