All language subtitles for Cagney.and.Lacey.S02E09.Ill.Be.Home.For.Christmas.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-FFG_track3_[eng]

Seven years you were straight

and you had to
throw it all away
for miniature golf in Florida?

- Don't look.
- I can't help it.

Don't look,
he's gonna do something.

Not everyone can say
they collared Santa Claus.

You will find this maniac
or nobody's gonna
leave here, ever.

Christmas
is a filthy business.

I just want Claudia
and the baby to be all right.

People, we're the police.

After an
escaped felon.

They're after my daddy.

Santy Claus.

Ho, ho, ho.

Merry Christmas, movie house!

What
we've all been waiting for.
Santa and his reindeer.

Merry Christmas, Santa.

...a Christmas present
from a very dear friend
of mine.

...folks,
there'll be no snow
this Christmas.

And over
on our big weather map...

Would this be terrific, huh?

Yeah.

$600.

Oh. Hey, Mary Beth,
look at this.

Command attack submarine.

"Shoots off missiles,
lights up
in three different colors,

"has eight removable crewmen."

Huh? What do you think,
you think he'd like that?

He won't like it.

Oh.

Okay.

So, Samuels will probably
let us off when? 7:30, 8:00?

8:00, at the latest.
Dory coming over?

Yeah, we're gonna
cook dinner together.

Mary Beth,
the man makes me crazy.

Harv and I are gonna
wrap presents with the kids
and trim the tree.

Get the turkey ready
for tomorrow.

You call that fun?

Yes, I do.

Oh, there it is.

It's perfect.

Oh, look at that,
it's great.

Electric rescue chopper.

You think it's him?

It's him.

All right.

Hey, Mary Beth.

Look at the guy over there,
tweed topcoat.

Oh, oh, excuse me.

- Don't look.
- I can't help it.

Don't look,
he's gonna do something.

I can feel it,
and then we're gonna
have to arrest him,

and then we're gonna have to
spend all Christmas day in...
Don't look.

Excuse me.

I told you
we shouldn't have looked.

You gotta be crazy.

Eighty bucks
for Handel's Messiah?

It's a very special date.

If the Lieutenant
ever gets back to let us go.

He'll get back. Come 9:00,
Isbecki and the twins

are southward to old San Juan

for a week of sun, sand
and who knows what.

You gentlemen certainly seem
to take Lieutenant Samuels'
goodwill for granted.

There's no law that says
he has to let us go early.

Lighten up, Petrie.
Your baby's
gonna be born soon.

I got 30 bucks
on a Christmas baby.

How many days
is Claudia over?

Today makes 11. It's too long.

Must be tough
waiting like this.

Thanks, Petrie.
Hey, any news about your kid?

Not yet.

What's that?
He made a collar,
can you believe it?

The guy was posing
like he worked for a charity.

I hear he clipped Samuels
real good.

I can't believe
he threw away a Christmas.

He is a Lieutenant.
Strings can be pulled.

Hey, Petrie.

Your baby on its way yet?

Not yet.

It'll come soon, trust me.
What do you think
of my collar, huh?

Not everyone can say
they collared Santa Claus.

Hey, felony larceny.

Worst kind of lice,
preying on people's goodwill.

Listen, I already took care
of the paperwork.

You wanna run this clown
into a holding cell for me?

I'm gonna go up
and talk to the brass.
Do a little bragging.

How much you clip him for?

Five bucks.

Hey, you know, my first kid
was nine days late.

Second one was a week early.

These things happen, you know.

That's what
the doctor keeps saying.

Yeah, well.

Hi, how you doing?

I guess you live and learn,
you know.

My oldest is a girl.
Hope you get a girl, too.
They're-- they're terrific.

- That'd be nice.
- Yeah.

So, you think it'll snow?

That'd be nice, too,
but they say no.

Ah.

Merry Christmas.

Yeah, you, too.

He's a nice guy, huh?

Have a good one.

What am I gonna
tell my kids, huh, Willie?

Come on, watch your head here.

Do you have any idea
what it's going to be like
spending Christmas
without my kids?

Can I help it
if I got what you call
seasonal employment?

Tonight could be
a big grosser for me.

Cagney, Lacey,
good hunting, huh?

Hey, Chris, how much
do you want this guy?

- I don't.
- Hey, Banks. Come here.

Yeah, need help
with this guy?

Yeah, we got this guy
dead to rights

and we would rather not
spend all day tomorrow
in court.

Be a man, Banks.

Take one step closer
to becoming a detective.

Now, take this
nice collar for us.
He's a simple pickpocket.

No offense.

- How much?
- What?

I can't believe this.

Like a piece of bad meat,
I can't be given away.

You, you hold your tongue.

How much?

Piece of your next murder,
multiple homicide if possible.

Something with
a little headline potential.

- You got it.
- Deal.

Let's go.

Victor,
is the Lieutenant here?

No. He's upstairs swilling
eggnog with the brass.

Petrie, any word about
the baby yet? I guess not.

Telephone message
for Miss Cagney.

Thank you.
The wallet show up yet?

What wallet?

Guess not.

The wallet, you remember.
Bait from Internal Affairs.

Anybody know how long
he's gonna be up there?

Another few minutes.

Harv...

I don't know where
these guys are coming off,

sticking us with
a loaded wallet to see
if we'll take the money.

You think
they'd have imagination
to try something new.

They've been using the wallet
every Christmas
for the last 16 years.

The same wallet.

Been there long?

I've only been here a moment.

I thought I'd get a head start
on the duck stuffing.

I can't wait.
I'm looking at 8:00
at the latest.

Well, that's none too soon.
I'm very hungry.

Um, there's a bottle of
Gavi de Gavi in the fridge.

Have a glass. Have two.

-I'll be there.
- Mark.

There's a call coming through
from your wife.

She just wants to know
what time you'll be home.

Got a release form here
for your prisoner, uh,

Renald Bannion,
public drunkenness.

Sergeant wants me to throw
some coffee in him.

- All right.
- Cage.

Keys are on the hook.

Sign this, huh?

Okay, okay, Bert,
but now I'm telling you,

if this guy
isn't eight feet tall,
I'm gonna call you a liar.

How often does a desk jockey
get a chance

to get out there and prove
he can still hang tough
in the trenches?

Am I right?
Yeah.

Not often enough.

You know something,
my chest still hurts from
where this guy shouldered me.

I got a bruise here,
it must be the size
of a basketball.

Oh, happy holidays. Isbecki?
Isbecki, right.

- Cagney.
- Inspector.

- La Guardia.
- La Guardia, yeah, yeah.

- And Macey.
- Lacey, sir.

Yeah.

- Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas to...

Where's Santa?

The accidental
release of a prisoner
is inexcusable.

This sort of error demands
a disciplinary hearing.

Now, what if that guy goes
out there and kills someone?

The Department is responsible.

Financially and morally.

I don't care
if it was an accident.

And I don't care if
no one individual is at fault.

Bert, you are in command.
You have
the final responsibility.

And believe me,
you will answer for it.

Merry Christmas.

I wanted to be a nice guy.

I wanted to
let everybody go early.

Maybe I'm just too lax.

You will find this maniac,
hopefully before he commits
other crimes.

You will find him,
or nobody's gonna
leave here, ever.

Sir, we can't tell you
how truly sorry we are.

Oh, that's-- that's terrific,
Lacey. That--that--
that's terrific.

I can use that defense
in a trial room, can't I?

Get out of here.

Come in.

What do you two want?

Sir, we got back that file
on the prisoner,
on the ex-prisoner, sir.

And we--we wanted you to know
that things are not as bad

as they might seem.

Who are you kidding?

No, sir. Not kidding.
Here, look at the file.

Right there.

Ralph Barbinski?

Hmm, he told me his name was
Raleigh Henshaw.

Well, Prints kicked back
the right file here, sir.

Um, look. Priors, gambling,

possession of
stolen merchandise,
petty fraud.

It's, uh,
it's very plain to see

we're dealing with an
extremely smalltime operator.

Sir, the man's last arrest
was six years ago.

Now, he had two months
at the work farm,
two years on parole.

Look at that record, sir,
it's clean as a plate.

Until tonight.

Yes, sir.

Lieutenant, we just want you
to know that we are
gonna be breaking our necks

to nail this guy.

Now, Isbecki is, uh,
pushing back his flight,

and La Guardia, poor thing,
is canceling a date...

"Arrears, traffic violation"?

Well, you see...
We're not
talking about

public enemy
number one here, sir.

Samuels. Yeah.

What?

Right. Yeah.

Well, I'm certainly very glad
that you two are gonna be
breaking your necks.

Why don't you start by
breaking your neck over to

Barbinski's
last known address?

Why?

Don't you ever ask me why.

They found a radio car missing
from the parking bay,
that's why.

And one of the mechanics said
that the guy
who drove the car away

was dressed like Santa Claus.

Ralph?

Couldn't be Ralph.

Still no answer.
I must have missed her. Damn.

Maybe she's just
powdering her nose.
Call her back in ten minutes.

She's supposed to be here
in ten minutes.

We're supposed to take a cab
to Carnegie Hall.

Isbecki! La Guardia!

DiMario's Tow Truck Garage
over on 36th?

I know the place.

Yeah, well, a guy
dressed like Santa Claus

brought an RMP in there
for emergency service.

And charged it to me.

La Guardia,
you've got a visitor.

Doris?

Thank you very much.

I've been trying to reach you
for over an hour.

Something came up.
I've got to work.

We're going to
miss Handel's Messiah.

Here, you take the tickets.
You go.

Paul, there's more
to Christmas Eve together
than Handel's Messiah.

You go, do your job.
I'll be here when you return.

But you can't stay here.
It's-- it's awful.
It's-- it's smelly.

Well, the lovely lady
could stay in my office,

La Guardia,
where it doesn't smell so bad.

Bert Samuels, ma'am,
Detective Lieutenant.

Doris Rainey.

- You see, Paul. I'll be fine.
- Well...

Oh, she'll be fine,
and, uh, you guys
can hit the bricks.

Miss Rainey, was it?
That's right.

Yeah, well, uh, would you
please come this way?

I've got some wonderful eggnog
in my office.

Forget it,
you've got a job to do.

The Barbinskis lived here
before us. They moved out
about, uh, three months ago.

Do you know where?

You could check the super,
I guess.

It's freezing in here.

It's even colder inside.

We've been without heat
for eight days now.

We've called
the housing authority.
We even called the police.

But no one does anything.

Well, if the super won't,
talk to the service man, right?

What can I do?

Does he live in the building?
Yes.

Plenty. Come on,
we'll wish him
a Merry Christmas.

Do you want to
look after the kid?

Uh... Uh...

Uh, okay.

Show me
where his apartment is.

Have a good time.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, hold it there, buddy.
Okay, folks,
let's move it along.

How you doing?
Pretty cold night to be
pulling traffic duty, huh?

Who are you?

Yabanowski, 14 Precinct.

Come on.

Let me dig out
some ID for you here.

Just take a second.

You know, every year
I gotta wear this stuff.

All right, what is it,
New Year's Eve?

Give me a break,
will you, please?

See, I'm the guy
who visits all the hospitals.

Children's wards, you know?

You got kids?
Two.

No kidding. Me, too.

Yeah, I hit the hospitals
every year. I tell you,
it really makes me thank God

my kids are healthy, you know?

Oh, jeez.

It ain't in that pocket.

You know, maybe if I got out
and stood up it'd be easier.

I'll tell you,
just forget about it.
The road's got to roll.

No, no. I know
I got some ID here someplace.

Come on!

You wanna see
some pictures of my kids?

I'm sure you got
terrific kids. Just keep it
rolling, will you?

I'm going to get lynched here.

Want me to come over
to your house?
I could stop by later.

Play like Santa Claus?

Give me a break,
would you, pal?

No problem,
I'll see you next year.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Well, it's about time.

All right, folks.
Move it along, let's go.

Right. 29th...

That's the third phone call
he's had since
we've been here, damn it.

How much longer
are we going to wait?

Yeah. Ain't that
always the case?

Well, what do you say,
Mr. DiMario?

Come on, help us out,
we'd like to wrap this up
and get out of here.

- What?
- If he's not off
that phone in 30 seconds,

I'm gonna pull him off.

Okay, right.
Got it. Pronto!

Busted axle on 29th and 5th.

Bring a sling.

Christmas and New Year's
are my best times of the year.

I really clean up.

Well, that's great.

Why don't you finish
telling us about Santa Claus?

Be right back.

We're closed.

Hey, hey! What are you...
What, is he crazy or what?

Why don't you lighten up, huh?

Look, I've had it with this
waiting around, okay?

I've had it!
Take it easy, take it easy.

Listen, it's amazing what love
will do to a man.

- It's my busiest time
of the year.
- I understand.

Why don't you just tell us
all about the Santa Claus
and then we'll go.

Jeez.

He says that he's trying to
get to St. Vincent
for the kids

and his car is stalling.

He says, "Now with traffic,
it'll take forever

"for the police mechanic
to get to it."

It's Christmas, right?
I'm a nice guy, right?

Sure.

And that's all
there was to it?

Yeah, you want some more?

Just because he...
You know
who I'm talking about.

Because he doesn't have a home
to go to anymore,

he's trying to screw it up
for the rest of us.

Let's move it, Isbecki.

Is that it?
Yeah.

Good. Well,
if that's it, that's it.
We'll be in touch.

Detectives, Petrie.

Hi, honey.

What happened?

10-60, 7-5,

respond.

Priority message
for Detective's Car 12.

Did she say 12?

All other units clear air
except for calls
10-13 and 10-30.

Central, this is
Detective Car 12 responding
to priority message.

Go ahead, 14.

Chris, Mark Petrie here.

I think there's some sort of
problem with Claudia.

- Oh, Lord.
- What's wrong?

If you could
take her to the hospital,
I'll meet you there.

It'll be much faster.

Give me that.

Petrie, is this real labor,

or are you just trying to save
the price of a cab?

I don't know,
but something's wrong.

Has she talked to her doctor?

Please, just try to
get her to the hospital
quickly, all right?

I don't know what's wrong.

She's bleeding.

We're on our way.

Go.

I tell you,
I hear stuff like this,
it scares the hell out of me.

She'll be fine.

You're looking at
the mother of two here, remember?

Dr. Cooper, stat.
Dr. Cooper, stat.

There she is.

Could we have
some help here, please?

There's the man,
right there. Here we go.

You look like a woman
who's about to have a baby.

Something isn't right, Mark.

I'm still bleeding.

Everything is
gonna be fine.

See, Mary Beth has had
two babies, she knows.

- She knows that.
- I know that.

Is Dr. Polachek here yet?
Yes, he's here.

You don't have to worry
about a thing, my love.

We are gonna have this baby.
And we are gonna be a family.

Everything
is going to be all right.

Can't wait
to see you skinny again.

- Oh, I love you.
- Love you, too.

Are you gonna come with me?

What do you mean,
am I coming with you?
Of course.

Here, Petrie.
You let us know right away,
all right?

I'll come down
as soon as we know something.

Hope it's a boy.

What do you think?

I'm not a doctor, Chris.

Look, um, there's
no telling how long
we're gonna have to wait,

so I'm gonna call
the squad room
and let them know, huh?

If you talk to
what's-his-name,
tell him hi for me, huh?

Got a dime?

I'm lonely.

Dory, I'm trying.

Dinner's just going to be
a little late.

I want to taste
your plum pudding.

Well, my plum pudding
tastes great.

Why don't I just
go ahead and start?

Without me?

Well, just a, um, glimpse.

I'll glaze the duck.

That way, um, we can just
slide it in the oven when
you come through the door.

I wanted us to cook together.

So you got to work.

No, you're the one
who's gonna end up
doing the work.

Are you gonna wait for me?

I always do, don't I?

Yeah.

Yeah, you do.

Mmm.

This wine is terrific.

Are you getting drunk?

Hey.

Oh, I'll call you later. Bye.

Not much to say.

They stopped the bleeding
and put her
on a fetal monitor.

Wait and see, huh?

Yeah.

They're talking
a cesarean section.
Can you believe that?

Well, they do those
all the time.

I was cesarean.

Claudia and I took
natural childbirth classes
for 10 weeks.

It's crazy.

Look, I've got to get back.

Hey...

Everything will be fine.
You know that.

Thanks.

You okay?

Christine, you mind very much
if we made a stop before
we go in the squad room?

No.

-Hey.
- Yo.

Harvey?
Mama. It's Mama.

Okay, babe.

- Come on, come on.
- All right, all right.

- Hiya.
- Hi.

Harv, we can stay
one minute, okay?

Hi, Christine.

-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.

- Mom.
- Come here, come here.
Come here!

Great.
Isn't that great?

- It's great.
- Yeah.

Wait till you see
what we got you,
Mom, it's terrific.

- Yeah, I'll bet it is.
- Yeah.

Hey, I thought
you were home for good.

No, I...

Give us a second,
will you, guys, huh?
Excuse me, guys, please.

Yeah.

Well, guys, hi.
How's it going?

It's great.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Pretty lights.

Yeah, look what else
we have here.

Feel better?

Yep. Yeah, I just...

I got scared, that's all,
with Claudia
and all that bleeding and...

Now they're considering
a C-section, and so it
made me want to come home

and--and hug my babies.

I'm glad you did.

Gonna be okay?

Mmm-hmm.

Just hang on to me, huh?

What? What?

What? Hmm?

What are you looking at me
like that for?

You wanna have another?

Yeah.

Gotta go back now.

Yeah, what?

Okay.

So,
what happened to the guys?

They vanished
into the other room.

Maybe they heard Santa Claus.

Yeah.

- Hey. Hello.
- Hello.

There they are.

- There they are. Hi.
- Hi.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you.

Aw, isn't that nice?

Thank you.
Can I open it right now?

- You gotta open it right now.
- All right, all right.

Thank you.
Harvey said you're pretty.

Hey, no hitting
on Christmas Eve. Come here.

Okay. I love presents.

-Faster, faster.
- Okay.

My favorite color.

What luck, huh?

Look, a hat, huh? Mittens?
Oh, and a muffler.

Oh, you... Thanks, you guys.
Oh, you're so good to me.

All right, that's it.
Enough kissing. Now, come on,
we gotta go. We gotta go.

All right, I'm sorry
to open presents and run.
Your mother is so mean to me.

These are wonderful.
Harvey, thank you.

It's getting to be 10:00.
Merry Christmas.

You all go ahead
and trim the tree
and surprise me, all right?

- I promise.
-You need a hand? No?

No, I got it,
I got it, all right.

Is my present
as good as hers?

Merry Christmas.

Goodbye, guys. Thank you.

-Goodbye.
-Bye.

You talk to Petrie,
give him my best, will you?

- Yeah, I will.
- Okay.

- Bye, guys.
- Goodbye.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

All right,
let's finish
wrapping the presents.

Okay.

No, it's all right.
Hurry up.

Hey, you guys.

What's the matter, Dad?

Come here.

Hey, if you find
a cheaper price, I'll beat it.

You find a better tree,
and I'll eat it.

-It's too much.
- Hey, what do you want
from me, pal?

Blood? I'm practically
giving you the tree now.

Come on, let's go.

Yeah, Merry Christmas
to you, too, creep.

A reasonable price
would do.

Myer, come here.
Come here.

It's me, Ralph.

Hey, Ralphie,
what you hiding for?

Just making sure
your mother ain't around,
you know.

Uh...

Myer, I need a favor.

What's that?

It's $142.55. I've been
cracking parking meters.

I don't know, Ralph,
here, all these coins, jeez.

Come on, Myer, come on, huh?
I'm in the straits here.

Come on, what do you say,
I give you a break?

Huh?
Two for three?

How much is that?

Eighty-five bucks.

Oh, jeez, uh, okay.

Look, Ralphie,
I'm giving you a good deal.
I'm telling you.

Where am I gonna move coins
like this on Christmas Eve?

No, I know, I know, I know.
Myer, I know,

but, Myer,
you're the greatest, you know.

So, how's it been going?
You moving any trees here?

- Not bad, not bad.
- Yeah?

Oh, thanks a lot.
I won't forget this, really.

Take it easy, man.

You want trees? I got trees.
Take advantage of me.

Merry Christmas, Myer.
See you around.

-Hey,
that was Santa Claus.
- Hey, Ralphie.

Is that a cop?

Hey, uh, look, it's, uh...

It's Christmas Eve,
why don't I just give you
a tree for cost?

I'll be right back.

- Phil.
- Hello, Bert. Good to see you.

Phil, this is Miss Rainey.

This is Lieutenant Malik.
He's the Bureau Internal
Affairs liaison officer.

Very impressive title.

I didn't realize
the police force had
so many handsome men.

Thank you. Would you excuse us
for one moment, please?

- Surely.
- A little police business.
Can I talk to you?

I was real damn disappointed
to hear about
that prisoner foul-up, Bert.

We'll get him.

Yeah, I hope so. I hope so.

You know the same thing
happened to a captain
in Queens about a year ago,

and, well, my boys,

we caught the case eventually,
but, you know,

that captain is commanding
a vacant lot squad now, Bert.

Thanks for telling me, Phil.

Yeah.

I'm sorry,
would you excuse us?
Just a little police business.

It was very nice to meet you.

It's time for me now to go and
say hello to the uniforms.

Oh, I hope we meet again.

Me, too. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Thank you, Bert. I'll be back.

Merry Christmas!

Detectives, La Guardia.

What did you say
your name was?

Fine.

Okay.

The wallet, it's here.

Yes, sir.

Hey, that creep
from IAD shows up,
and so does the wallet.

Okay, we'll send someone
right over
to take your statement.

Hey, did you hear me?
The wallet, it's over there.

We may be out of here yet.

The guy who owns
a Christmas tree stand
just phoned in

about Santa Claus
driving a radio car.

Sounds great to me,
my twins await.

Hold it.
Give Cagney and Lacey a call.

They're already out there.
I'm gonna see
if Doris needs anything.

How do you know
it was Barbinski?

Hey, I know Ralph
three or four years.

I used to see him
around the pool hall.

He's a little, you know...

What?
A couple of quarts low?

- Right.
- Yeah.

- Hey, hey, hey, beat it.
- All right.

You said something
about coins.

What coins?

Could you just tell us
where we could find Ralph?

Hey, beats the hell out of me.

I just don't want to
get arrested, you know?

I mean, I've been arrested
before, I don't like it.

No one is gonna
arrest you, sir.

Can you tell us anything
about Mr. Barbinski

that might help us
to locate him?

Well, I don't know
where he lives. I used to know
his phone number,

but the last time I heard,
it was disconnected.

Could you tell us
where he works?

Nah, nah. He used to be
a mechanic but he lost his job
when he hurt his back.

Oh, hey, he's working now.
He got a job
as one of them Santa Clauses,

that's why
he's wearing the suit.

For a department store
or the Salvation Army?

No, no, no, no. One of them
places that rents out Santas
to parties and stuff.

Thank you.

Look, we all want
to help the Lieutenant, okay?

Come on, it doesn't take
all of us to find some yutz

who's cracking parking meters.

You know, it hurts me
to say this,
but Isbecki's right.

Even he could do this
single-handedly.

I got a flight to catch,
do you mind? My twins await.

I don't wanna hear
about twins. I think
that is vile and disgusting.

So, what's the proposal?

I say we draw straws.

Now, the loser has to stay
and follow up on Barbinski.

The rest of us
could lead a normal life, huh?

All we have to do
is convince Samuels.

I'll risk it.

So, the batteries are
already in, and you just...

You hold it here
and press right there.

How about that, huh?

Oh!

You okay?
It snapped.

You got nothing better to do?
Find Barbinski!

Can you believe this?

Is that the wallet?
How much money's in it?

About 200 bucks.

See that creep
in Samuels' office?
He brought it.

That's Malik,
isn't it?

You know what I'm gonna do?

Haven't a clue.

I'm gonna
hand this in to Samuels,
right under that jerk's nose.

Hey, you're all man, Isbecki.

Can you hold it down
a second? Go ahead.

So, what did they say
was wrong?

Placenta previa.
It's pretty rare.

There's just no way
for the baby
to get out normally.

Please, Petrie,
don't worry, huh?

Did I tell you that
Harv's sister Joyce

had all three
of her children cesarean?

I can be in the room with her,
that'll help.

Marcus, don't worry, huh?

Yeah. Really wanted to
deliver that baby
with my own hands.

Mary Beth... I just--
I just want Claudia
and the baby to be all right.

Listen, you want someone
to come down there
and be with you?

No, thanks. I'm with Claudia,
that's enough.

Listen, you tell her for me,
"Stay strong,"

and we're, all of us,
thinking about you here,

and, um, let us know
right away, huh?

- Okay.
- Right away.

Bad?

I like that man a lot.

This is the guy
we're looking for.

We know he's employed
as a Santa Claus somewhere.

- Yeah.
- You know the guy?

Yeah, Ralph Barbinski.
Yeah.

Hey, you ain't telling me
Ralph's in some kind
of trouble, are you?

- We can't talk about that.
- I mean,
it's just that Ralph's...

Hey, I love Ralph.
He's one of my
favorite employees.

-No!
-Hey, come on, man!

Hey, Max, you wanna
break the bums, huh?

Hey, I got this.

No way, José.
Come on.

Hey, hey, hey, Max.
Leave me alone.

Christmas is
a filthy business.

He's good with kids,
hell of a nice guy.

Max?

No, Ralphie.

It's just that...
I don't know, he's...

He's not retarded,
I don't think.

Well, we get the picture.
Do you have
his current address?

You people sure
you want this guy?

We're sure.

I'll get on the horn
to Cagney and Lacey,

I'll tell them to meet us
over there.

Mark?
Yes.

You love me, don't you?

You know I love you, Claudia.

I love you more than anything.

I'm sorry I messed things up.

Shh. What? That's crazy.

It was supposed to be so nice.

God, I hope
the baby's all right.

You and the baby
are going to be fine,

you're both going to be strong
and healthy and alive.

Do you hear me?

I'm so glad
you're with me, baby.

You're gonna be fine.

Wait your turn.

Thank you.

Here we are,
hot tea and honey.

Thank you.

Maybe it would be better
if the children played
in the other room.

Why? So they
can break something?

Hush, Papa.

We have nothing to hide
in this family, ma'am,
not a thing.

Do you children
love your daddy?

He's a no good, son-of-a...

Hush. You old fool.

Perhaps, Mrs. Barbinski,
it would be better

if we got back to what
you were talking about
before the tea break?

Papa never did like Ralph.

No kidding.

Thinks he's no-account,
but that's just not true.

Married seven years,
and I'm supporting
the lot of them.

Ralph couldn't help
losing his job.

An engine block fell on him,
hurt his back bad.

We didn't have any insurance,
and the job didn't pay
any benefits.

Ralph can't lift things
anymore.

He sure can lift a fork.

Please let her finish
the story.

Do you have any idea
where your husband
might be now?

Are you gonna arrest
our daddy?

Shh.

He was working
as a Santa Claus,
that's all I know.

His friend,
Ben Peters in Florida,

offered him a share
of a miniature golf course

if we could get down there.

That's why Ralph took the job
of Santa Claus,
for ticket money.

Well, he has been
making money, ma'am,
but not as a Santa.

This is a hell of a thing.

Trixie.

Seven years
and she finally sees it.

You have any...

Santy Claus!

That's not Santa Claus,
stupid, that's Daddy.

Hello, Ralph.

Police, Ralph.

-Police!
-Hey, Ralph, come on.

- Don't you hurt him.
- Ralph, don't let them...

I'll call for a backup.

Ralph, we just
wanna talk to you.

Let us talk to you!
He's going up to the roof!

All right.
I'll get the fire escape!

What's going on
out here?

Ralph.

-Ralph.
-Girl, they out there
chasing Santa Claus.

-Daddy, Daddy.
-Go Santa, go Santa!

That's not Santa Claus,
stupid, that's Daddy.

Let me see!

What's all that noise
out there?

Come on.
Let's get up on that roof.

Look,
it's starting to snow.

Uh-huh. Hey, Ralph.

Ralph. Hey,
give us a break, huh?

He didn't come up
the fire escape.

It's bizarre.
It's supposed to be
too cold to snow.

They're gonna
shoot Santy Claus.

Now, nobody is gonna
shoot anybody.

Would you put that thing away,
for God's sake?

People, we're the police,
it's all right.

After an
escaped felon.

They're after my daddy.

Santy Claus.

Ho, ho, ho.

That's not Santa Claus,
stupid, that's Daddy.

Okay, Santa,
come on down from there
before you hurt yourself.

I can't, I can't.

Oh, God.

I did wrong, I got nothing
to say for myself and
I'm ready to pay the price.

Even if it is Christmas.

You should have
thought of that

before you decided
to sucker people
out of their money.

Well, like I said,
I'm ready to pay the price,

even if I do have a wife
and kids waiting
on Christmas Eve.

Can you believe this guy?

I don't know, wait a minute.
Maybe we can
work something out here, Bert.

Bert?
Lieutenant.

Sir, it seems to me
that it's not unusual,

in special cases, to issue
a desk appearance ticket

if you think that the accused
will appear in court.

You'd appear,
wouldn't you, Ralph?

- You bet he would.
- Uh-huh.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

We are not talking
misdemeanors here. We are
talking felonies, larceny,

escaping arrest,
stealing a police vehicle.

Now, excuse me, Lieutenant,
I didn't exactly
steal that police car.

I just sort of used it.

Do you hear this?
The guy's crazy.

Probably can't even
take care of himself.

No, really, I brought it back
as soon as I was finished.
It's out there now.

- Come on.
- He's right, Bert.

He showed us the car
when we brought him in.

Come on.

You ought to see what
this guy's putting up with
at home, Lieutenant.

Seven years you were straight

and you had to
throw it all away
for miniature golf in Florida?

Well, Lieutenant,
you know, a man's gotta work.

A man can't
sponge off his in-laws.

Sir, if I was a smart defense
attorney, I could point out
that you did not know

Mr. Barbinski wasn't going
to turn that money over
to charity.

- Well, you're not that smart.
- Yes, sir.

The same attorney
could also say...

Do not press your luck.

Give him a D.A.T.
and let him get out of here.

- Yes, sir.
- What about my ticket money?

What?

Well, you know,
trying to get that money

was the whole reason
I went back
into serious crime.

I told you, this guy's crazy.

Ralph, you got that money
breaking into parking meters.
We can't give it back.

There goes our dream,
Ralphie.

They're both crazy.

I bet they need
constant supervision.

Lieutenant?

What?

What happened to the wallet?

Well, I--I--I shoved it off
on that creep, Malik,

so he could bring it back
to all those other rats
in Internal Affairs.

Why?

Just wanna say
Merry Christmas,
you're doing a great job.

Merry Christmas, boys.

-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.

- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
- Lieutenant Malik.

- Lieutenant.
- Yes?

Um, we don't know each other,
but I'm Detective Cagney.

Well, very nice to meet you.

Hello.

Um, I just didn't want you
to get away before I wished
you a Merry Christmas.

Well...

What was that for?

I just wanted to
give you something.

You and all the wonderful guys
at Internal Affairs.

Well, thank you very much.

Merry Christmas to you, too.
Detective Cagney?

- Cagney. Right.
- Nice to meet you.

Thank you, bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Excuse me.

You sure it wasn't
his personal wallet?

Trust me.
First bump I got the wallet,
second bump I put it back.

That's half the money.

Willie, you're off the hook.
We'll square it for you.

Merry Christmas, Willie.

Merry Christmas.

Stay out of trouble.

I gave you my word, didn't I?

Yeah.
Merry Christmas, Willie.

Yeah. Merry Christmas.

Ticket money.

Oh, no,
we can't take charity.

Ralph.

You wanna go on living
with Mama and Papa?

I'll pay you back
as soon as I can.

Whenever.
Just take your family,
take the money, go to Florida

and come back
for the court appearance.

Merry Christmas.

You won't have to do time,
Ralph,

there's certainly
enough people rooting for you
in your corner.

Merry Christmas.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, well, thanks a lot,

and I hope
you get something nice
for Christmas, all of you.

Merry Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho.

It is 10:05.

Dory shouldn't be too drunk,
at least for dinner.

That is, if we're free to go.

What? You're free.

Thank the good Lord.

We missed Handel's Messiah.

The night is young, Doris.
We have each other.

Now, there's an 11:20 flight,
I could pick up the twins.

Will you stop with the twins?
You know
how I feel about that.

Victor, I need to
talk with you.

My mother.

Oh, I'll just stay here
out of your way
till you're finished,

and then we'll go
to the airport.

Your mother?

Oh, Victor. Oh!

Victor, oh, Victor.

Hi, Ma.

Merry Christmas, guys.

Merry Christmas, stay warm.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Hey, I know
everybody wants to go home

but I've got
half a jug of eggnog.
It's-- it's pretty good.

Well, sir,

I think we have
some cups over here.

Got any nutmeg?

It's a girl!

It's a girl!

Hooray!

All right, Petrie!

Yes!