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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,994 The following program 2 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:08,905 is brought to you in living color on NBC. 3 00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:24,390 I'm going up to my room for a few minutes. 4 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,516 - All right, Marge. - See you later, boys. 5 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,188 Hi, hon. Can I have my key? 6 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,867 J.D. Hi, hon. 7 00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,438 I thought you were coming into town the middle of the week. 8 00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:42,465 Uh... afternoon, ma'am. 9 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,246 - Well, what do you think? - I think we need to have a beer. 10 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,584 No, no, no. I mean... 11 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,249 I mean about her. 12 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,917 About who? What are you talking about? 13 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,053 My girl. 14 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,195 - You mean that was your girl? - Mm-hmm. 15 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:09,700 Oh, ain't she wonderful, hmm? 16 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,168 That... that's Margie, 17 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,431 the one you're going to bring out to supper? 18 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,596 Mm-hmm. 19 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,220 You didn't even act like you knew her! 20 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,867 Yeah, yeah, I know, it... 21 00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,879 sometimes happens to me when I get around her. 22 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:25,213 I don't know, I just kind of get all tied up inside. 23 00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:28,219 Boy, ain't she something though, hmm? 24 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:32,485 Uh, Joe, uh, better give us three beers. 25 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:40,565 Whoa! Hold! Whoa! 26 00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,452 All right, my man, let's get that package off of there. 27 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,468 You can't keep the Duke waiting, you know. 28 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,409 Disgustingly provincial. 29 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,640 Oh, come off it. 30 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,910 Come on, now, let's get a move on with that baggage. 31 00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,451 I thank you. 32 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,722 Ah, there you are, my man. 33 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,350 You have reservations for the Duke of London 34 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,860 and his entourage? 35 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,529 Let's have a little service now. 36 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,428 Oh, madam... 37 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,091 your hand. 38 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,464 Hmm? 39 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,038 I kiss the hand of the most beautiful, uh... 40 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,606 lady I've seen 41 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,039 since I've been in this beastly country. 42 00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,176 Here, here. 43 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,281 Hold your horses now, Dukie. 44 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,051 It's the men what pays our wages 45 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,793 and it's the ladies what takes them away. 46 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,160 You understand? Come on, let's go in the pub. 47 00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:45,288 Me gullet's fair crying out for a nip. 48 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,769 - Joe, set up some drinks for the boys. - 49 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,963 Did Adam come in with you? 50 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,402 No, left a couple days ago, Roy. 51 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,474 He had to make a little trip to San Francisco. 52 00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:57,133 Make way for the Duke of London! 53 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,176 All right, you blokes, now, out of the way. 54 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,844 Give the Duke some elbow room. 55 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,683 Drinks for the house. 56 00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:11,262 You'll have to get in line, stranger. 57 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:12,604 Drinks are bought for this round. 58 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,355 The Duke of London waits for no one. 59 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,486 Come, fellow, a bottle. 60 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:26,370 You... a drink on the Duke of London. 61 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,999 I'm sorry, mister, but Little Joe already bought me a drink. 62 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:39,309 Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 63 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,649 The Duke of London, 64 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,624 Champion of the British Empire, 65 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,925 on a world tour, challenges all comers. 66 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,762 Any man who stands four rounds 67 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:59,134 will be paid $500 American money. 68 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,208 Do you dare, Yankees? 69 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,756 Yankees-- a nation of dolts and cowards. 70 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,862 Oh, knock it, Bobo. 71 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:59,557 We'll take a pound or two from 'em, don't you worry. 72 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:02,863 You know, you really showed that crowd something down there. 73 00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,493 You was real prime. 74 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,402 Look at this filthy place. 75 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:11,102 Virginia City-- nothing but a foul pigpen. 76 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,769 Ah, come off it. 77 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,210 We've seen worse, 78 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:17,181 although I must say, I have never tasted such bad whiskey. 79 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,344 Oh, what I wouldn't give for some good ol' London ale. 80 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,648 You and your liquor. 81 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,486 Can't you stop guzzling even for a moment? 82 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,822 Why should I? 83 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,452 Every man to his own sin, I say. 84 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,862 You could hardly call yourself a man. 85 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,993 You're like the rest of these donkeys around here 86 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:40,038 who have to wear guns to protect themselves. 87 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,200 We'll have to be extremely lucky to get a fight in this town. 88 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:47,246 Ah... you just keep on playing the game, Bobo. 89 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,814 We'll get our fight. 90 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,042 You know, you've got a knack, you have. 91 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,210 I have never known of any one man 92 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,517 who could get so many other men hating him in such a short time. 93 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,852 You're a marvel, that's what you are, 94 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:01,654 and you know, when they hate you enough, 95 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,660 that's when we get our fight, 96 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,662 so you go on being your own natural self. 97 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,528 You drunken sot. 98 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:11,069 Ah, you can call me names, Bobo, but you can't escape me. 99 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,900 Oh, will you shut up? 100 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,632 Oh, I know you too well. 101 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,573 Every time you get like this, it's because of some skirt. 102 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,009 It wouldn't be the little barmaid you took a fancy to, 103 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,546 now, would it? 104 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,673 You don't suppose she's out playing a little slap and tickle 105 00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,512 with one of these here American cowboys 106 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:27,517 while the handsome Duke of London is pacing 107 00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,178 up and down the floor, now, do you? 108 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:40,097 Now, you leave the women to me 109 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,792 because I handle them a lot better 110 00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:46,030 than you handle this filthy rubbish you are drinking. 111 00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,420 Gee, you know, this is... this is just great. 112 00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,386 I mean, it's just wonderful of you, Mr. Cartwright, 113 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,821 to-to go to all this trouble 114 00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,085 inviting me out for supper and everything. 115 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,888 We're very happy to have the opportunity 116 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,554 of making your acquaintance, Miss Fuller. 117 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:14,496 J.D. talks so much about you. 118 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,227 Uh, will you have some dessert? 119 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,338 Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah, thanks. 120 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,532 Uh... oh, a-an-and just call me Marge. 121 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,906 Uh, everybody does. 122 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,604 Oh. 123 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,739 Uh, honey, do you want some pie? 124 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,976 No, thanks, sir--I mean, ma'am. 125 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,514 Well, you boys had quite a time in town, didn't you? 126 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,717 This prizefighter-- what did you say his name was? 127 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,794 Uh, the Duke of London, Pa. 128 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,260 I ain't never seen a duke before, 129 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,864 but if they're all like that feller, 130 00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,556 I don't never care nothing about seeing another one. 131 00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,099 I wish you'd been along with us, Pa. 132 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,274 This man makes more enemies just walking into a room 133 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,133 than anybody I ever saw in my life. 134 00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,365 Well, you boys did right to ignore him. 135 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,601 Well, you should have seen what he did to me, Mr. Cartwright. 136 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,267 He stopped me right in the middle of the lobby 137 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,243 and grabbed my hand and kissed it. 138 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,042 Well, if I'd have known that, I'd have taken a wallop at him. 139 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:12,122 Well, J.D., hand kissing in Europe is quite common. 140 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,886 Probably just a gesture. 141 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,823 Not the way he did it, it wasn't. 142 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,159 He looked at me like he owned me or something. 143 00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:20,960 Yeah, I should have walloped him. 144 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,161 I'm afraid you wouldn't have stood much of a chance, J.D. 145 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:25,828 The man is a professional prizefighter. 146 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,601 Do you know, his fists are considered 147 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,403 lethal weapons by law? 148 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,206 Well, I got a couple of lethal weapons of my own. 149 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,905 Now, you hold on there. 150 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,242 Don't you get any big ideas. 151 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,783 Just because you're big and strong doesn't mean 152 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,958 that you're a match for a professional prizefighter. 153 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:42,213 Just stay away from this Duke 154 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,916 or whatever it is that he calls himself. 155 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:45,854 No amateur can stand up to a professional. 156 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,927 Just keep out of his way. 157 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,100 I'm afraid we're not being very polite to our guest. 158 00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:51,629 Oh, that's all right, don't mind me. 159 00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:53,255 I kind of enjoy it, talking about him. 160 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,924 I sure never met a man like him before, 161 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,262 and I've met a lot of 'em. 162 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,031 You sure got a nice place here. 163 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:04,735 You know, I... I never lived in a house in all my life. 164 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,106 Me neither. 165 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:07,838 You will, J.D. 166 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,881 Whenever you get married, 167 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,611 uh, you'll take over the house down by the forks. 168 00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:16,245 J.D., why don't you take Marge outside, 169 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,429 show her around the place? 170 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,991 Could we, J.D.? 171 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,218 I'd love to see it. 172 00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,639 Well, it's pretty dark out there; 173 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,128 I don't know what she could see. 174 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,757 Well, there's a full moon. 175 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,233 She ought to be able to see enough. 176 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,565 You go ahead; the boys will clean up the dishes. 177 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,571 Clean up the dishes? 178 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,776 Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. 179 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,470 You-you go ahead, J.D. 180 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:44,709 Well, uh, okay. 181 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,685 Oh. 182 00:10:10,147 --> 00:10:11,787 I thought I was going to bust out laughing 183 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,904 right in front of the both of them. 184 00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:14,045 Me, too, Joe. 185 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,139 Old J.D.'s collar was so tight, 186 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,250 - I thought his eyes were gonna pop out. -Yeah. 187 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,852 Thing I can't figure out is how J.D. ever got up enough nerve 188 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,648 to talk to her in the first place. 189 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,586 A gal like that usually starts a conversation herself, Pa. 190 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,750 A girl like what? 191 00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:30,727 Well, I-I mean, she's, uh... 192 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:32,297 well, she's a dance hall girl. 193 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:35,128 I thought she was very nice. 194 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,530 What did you think, Hoss? 195 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,831 I... I thought she was very nice. 196 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,462 Hey, now, wait a minute, I didn't say 197 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:41,886 I didn't think she was very nice. 198 00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:43,341 Pa, it's... 199 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,967 it's just that old J.D. and her 200 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,512 just don't seem to go together for some reason or other. 201 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,842 I don't know. 202 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,314 That's right, that's all I meant by it, Pa. 203 00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:55,512 You know how J.D. is-- he's so shy and everything, 204 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,936 and, I don't know, I just don't think it'll ever work out. 205 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,788 It'll work out... 206 00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,917 if he loves her. 207 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,087 - J.D. - Huh? 208 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,928 Honey, are you afraid of me? 209 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,265 No, ma'am, of course not. 210 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,203 Uh, now, over there, that's the smokehouse. 211 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,501 See it, right...? 212 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:19,976 Uh, you can just see the smoke there 213 00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:23,605 coming out of the... smokehouse. 214 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,047 Well, if you're not afraid of me, 215 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,154 then why don't you look at me when you talk to me? 216 00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:30,119 Well, I was looking at the smokehouse. 217 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,747 - It's right o... right o... - J.D., ju... 218 00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,792 turn around and look at me. 219 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:34,926 Yes, ma'am. 220 00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,793 Now, that's better. 221 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:40,093 You know, I, um... I liked what you said in there, 222 00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:43,361 I mean, about being willing to fight the Englishman over me. 223 00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:46,563 It was a real nice thing to say. 224 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,835 Well, I don't think fellows ought to go around kissing girls 225 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,944 when... well, 226 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,512 I mean, if they're not... 227 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:57,276 You know, sometimes a girl doesn't mind being kissed. 228 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,986 Well, if you liked it, that's... 229 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,089 that's your business, 230 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,691 but those flashy guys always seem to fool the women, 231 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,020 but he don't fool me. 232 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,889 I wasn't talking about him, J.D., 233 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,724 but at least he wasn't afraid. 234 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,297 Well, you think I am? 235 00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,230 I'm willing to try and find out. 236 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,202 Well, I may not be as fancy as that big bag of wind, 237 00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:22,308 but I ain't afraid of anything, including him. 238 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:24,433 I bet you're afraid to kiss a girl. 239 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,471 Yeah? 240 00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,809 Mm-hmm. 241 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,975 Well, are you? 242 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,246 No, I'm not. 243 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:37,220 I mean, when I find a girl I want to kiss, 244 00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:41,088 she's going to get good and kissed. 245 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,627 Oh! 246 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,594 I'll get the buggy. 247 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,528 Ah. 248 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,327 I guess Pa was right. 249 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,335 J.D. is in love with her. 250 00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:52,768 How you know? 251 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,739 Well, if he wasn't, he would have kissed her. 252 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,504 Joe, that don't make sense. 253 00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:00,485 Now, look, Hoss, I know you're older than I am, 254 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,842 but there's certain things 255 00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,450 I've had a little more experience in than you have. 256 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,643 And this just happens to be one of them. 257 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,118 Yeah. 258 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,917 I'll bet you he kisses her on the way home. 259 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,322 Ah. Oh, he'll-he'll try to kiss her. 260 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,588 She's not gonna let him. 261 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,832 Dag-burn it, Joe, that just don't make sense. 262 00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,607 Now, Mr. Duke... 263 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:37,012 One does not address a duke as "mister," now does one? 264 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:40,381 I'm not anxious to address you in any way, shape or form. 265 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:43,011 - I just want to warn you that... - About what?! 266 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,216 I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself... 267 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,054 Constable. 268 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:51,289 Now, we don't address a sheriff as a constable, now, do we? 269 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:54,832 I just want to point out that as a professional fighter, 270 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,458 if you use your fists on anyone, 271 00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:59,071 I'm going to jail you for assault with a deadly weapon. 272 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:02,300 Oh, then, in the event that I am attacked, 273 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:05,240 I will not even be allowed to defend myself? 274 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:06,709 Now, you know better than that. 275 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,906 Besides, I have a feeling that nobody around here 276 00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,813 is going to be foolish enough to try a thing like that. 277 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,420 So I suggest you just move on your way. 278 00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:17,523 Is there anything else before you leave? 279 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:20,091 I think that'll be enough. 280 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,324 Still waiting, eh, Bobo? 281 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,235 Maybe she ain't coming home tonight. 282 00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:35,900 Oh. 283 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,135 Now you're giving me the silent treatment. 284 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,645 First you knock me about, then you act as if I wasn't here. 285 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,409 Well, I am here, Bobo, and you know I'm here. 286 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:49,352 And when you need me, I'll be working late in me office. 287 00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,424 In other words, in the pub. 288 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,111 Marge... 289 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,182 I-I... I don't know what... 290 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,807 what came over me. 291 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,852 I'm just... I-I'm sorry it happened. 292 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,706 It's all right, Mr. Lambert. It's forgotten. 293 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,452 Well, look, look, I... I don't blame you for slapping me. 294 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,786 I... I had it coming. 295 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,158 But, well, you looked so... so pretty there 296 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,787 with the moonlight in your hair. 297 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,730 I just, all of a sudden, had to kiss you, Marge. 298 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,165 I'm... I'm... 299 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,533 You clumsy fool. 300 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,936 You stupid oaf. 301 00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:44,339 How dare you even address this lady? 302 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:46,104 Come on, J.D. Come on. 303 00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:50,273 You scum, you coward, you yellow-belly! 304 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,653 How very brave you are, 305 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:01,659 with a gun pointed at someone who is completely unarmed. 306 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,696 Your bravery overwhelms me to such a point 307 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:08,096 that I can no longer tolerate the sight of you. 308 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,501 Well, come, my good fellow. 309 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,271 Are you not going to pull the trigger? 310 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,380 J.D., don't-don't get mixed up with him. 311 00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:24,415 Go on home. 312 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,854 Fair fight! 313 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,152 He hit him first. Now, you all saw it. 314 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,488 The Yank hit him first! It's a fair fight. 315 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,650 All right, all right! 316 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,380 You saw what happened. 317 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,514 Surely you have a better man in Virginia City! 318 00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,148 J.D. Honey... 319 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,227 And if you haven't, I suggest you send for one, 320 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:12,229 because the champion here expects to have a fight 321 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,356 in this fair town of yours. 322 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,634 Somebody get a doctor. He's hurt bad. 323 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,571 Hank, you and Mike take him over to Doc, will you? 324 00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,741 So, you found one, eh? 325 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,508 After I told you the law. 326 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,207 Well, you're going to the calaboose. 327 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,511 Oh, no, he ain't. 328 00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:33,880 The Yank hit him first. 329 00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,011 Every bloke here saw it. 330 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,349 Is that right, Joe? 331 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,052 Yeah, that's right. 332 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,164 J.D. hit him first. 333 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,991 You had better get these laundered. 334 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:52,266 No hard feelings, Sheriff. 335 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,396 Come on in, and I'll buy you a drink. 336 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,974 I'm sorry you couldn't have seen me 337 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,048 up against a more worthy opponent. 338 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,811 One could hardly call it a fight, could one? 339 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:09,444 Of course, I could, uh, tell from the outset 340 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:13,684 that you were a woman who, uh, needed a man, not a boy. 341 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,557 Well, now you've found one. 342 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:30,540 The doctor said 343 00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,703 he never saw so much damage done by a man's fist. 344 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,144 And you know the funny thing? 345 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,578 The boys that saw it said 346 00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,479 it looked like he was just tapping him. 347 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,983 I'll tell you something else, too. 348 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,884 J.D. ain't the easiest man in the world to take. 349 00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:44,649 I've seen him take three miners, 350 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,157 one night in Virginia City, single-handed. 351 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,126 Roy, what started it? 352 00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,891 Well, from what I understand, it was that girl Marge. 353 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,490 The man's a professional. He ought to be jailed! 354 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,969 But J.D. took the first swing. 355 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,906 Well, it was good of that very nice girl 356 00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,273 to let him get his head knocked off on her behalf. 357 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:08,744 I don't care if J.D. did swing first. 358 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,543 I'll guarantee you he didn't start it. 359 00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:11,809 - Come on, Joe. - All right. 360 00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,111 You boys stay right where you are. 361 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,244 Stay right here? Look at J.D.! Just look at him! 362 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,787 You want us to stand here and do nothing?! 363 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,185 That's exactly what I want you to do-- 364 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,484 stand there and do nothing. 365 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,218 You can't gun down a man for-for defending himself. 366 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,828 Now, J.D. was warned! He was warned! 367 00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:26,125 It's my... my fault, Mr. Cartwright. 368 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,192 Don't nobody tackle him. It... 369 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,495 It was my fault. 370 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,071 Nobody's going to do that to a friend of ours. 371 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:34,571 I agree with Joe, Pa. 372 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,369 I don't care who you agree with. You're staying out of it! 373 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,533 Oh, Marge... 374 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:42,307 Oh, Marge saw it. She... 375 00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:45,679 She saw me make a fool of myself. I... 376 00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:48,048 I can never see her again. 377 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,053 - Pa, I can hurt that man. - No. 378 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,522 If I can get one hand on him. Boy, if I can get... 379 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,887 I said no! 380 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,324 Hoss? 381 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,691 They say he strikes faster than a rattlesnake! 382 00:19:57,829 --> 00:20:00,389 Yeah, well, you just wait till I get my hands on him. 383 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,831 Just the point. He won't hold still long enough! 384 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,129 Yeah, well, if Hoss can't catch him, the two of us can! 385 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,318 Just be quiet, both of you. 386 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:09,432 Now, just be quiet and listen to me! 387 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:10,736 Now, first, as I said, 388 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,277 J.D. was warned not to mix with the Duke. 389 00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,075 Second, I've seen professional fighters at work. 390 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,775 When I was young-- and that wasn't so long ago-- 391 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,408 I thought I was pretty good, too. 392 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,783 Well, one of them showed me how good I was. 393 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,514 That's when this was broken for the first time. 394 00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:25,885 I couldn't think straight for a week! 395 00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:27,515 But, Pa, I'm bigger than you! 396 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,184 You may be bigger than I am, 397 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,194 but you're no tougher than I was in those days. 398 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,423 A man just wasn't designed 399 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,658 to be beaten up the way a prizefighter can do it! 400 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,496 There's another way and a better way. 401 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:37,864 Yeah, like what? 402 00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,562 If he's so anxious to have a fight, 403 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,139 we'll get him another professional prizefighter 404 00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,468 to fight with. 405 00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,368 Pa, there ain't no professional prizefighters 406 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,433 around here nowhere. 407 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,307 No, but I know where there is one. 408 00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:49,847 I'll send a wire to Adam in San Francisco. 409 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,712 There's a fighter there, a great fighter-- 410 00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,045 Heenan, the Benicia Boy. 411 00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,905 We'll pay him to get here as fast as he can. 412 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,388 - Roy? - Yeah? 413 00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:58,561 If I write out the wire, will you take it into town? 414 00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:01,355 I'll take it to San Francisco myself if I have to. 415 00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:09,061 Still like to get my hands on that Duke. 416 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,413 Hey, did you hear that, J.D.? 417 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:25,244 Gonna-gonna get that Benicia Boy to take care of the Duke. 418 00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,875 Yeah. He's a real champ, J.D. 419 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,351 He'll take care of that Duke. 420 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,013 Marge saw it. Marge s... 421 00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,819 Marge saw him make a fool of me. 422 00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,462 He ain't hearing nothing we're saying. 423 00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:57,178 I'd still like to get my hands on that Duke. 424 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,581 No, we're gonna have to do what Pa said. 425 00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,813 Course that don't mean we can't ride into town tomorrow 426 00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:06,447 and sort of break the news about the Benicia Boy. 427 00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:09,186 I'd kind of like to see the look on the Duke's face 428 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,160 when we tell him that. 429 00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,356 Yeah. 430 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,899 Sort of like to see that Duke fella myself. 431 00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:17,832 Now, wait a minute. 432 00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:21,872 No, I said we're gonna break the news to him, not his neck. 433 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,100 Agreed? 434 00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,743 Agreed, little brother. 435 00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:35,648 And another thing. 436 00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:37,517 Where's your dartboard? 437 00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:38,851 My what?! 438 00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,856 Your dartboard! 439 00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:43,484 - Now a pub ain't a pub... - How is he? How's J.D.? 440 00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:46,029 Oh, a little late to be asking, ain't it? 441 00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:48,030 - Is he all right? - Oh, yeah, he's fine. 442 00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:50,362 He's got a busted nose, lost a few teeth. 443 00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:51,902 Otherwise, he's feeling just fine. 444 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:55,098 Ah, he-he ain't too pretty. 445 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,640 It's gonna be a while 446 00:22:56,775 --> 00:22:59,142 before he feels like doing any courting again, too. 447 00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:03,213 I know everybody thinks that it's my fault. 448 00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:06,508 Would you take a message to him? 449 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:09,120 Would you tell him that I want to see him? 450 00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:11,553 Oh, I don't think he's going to want to see anybody 451 00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:13,955 for a while, especially you. 452 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,231 You'll have to excuse us, ma'am. 453 00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:21,560 We have some business to take care of. 454 00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,636 He'll line you up 455 00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,366 and take you on two at a time, he will-- 456 00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:30,442 the whole blinking town. 457 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:35,240 'Cause there ain't a man, god or demon could whip the Duke. 458 00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:37,212 I trained him from a little whippersnapper, 459 00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:39,784 I did, and he's the greatest. 460 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,685 Got a fist like a rock, and an eye like a hawk. 461 00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:46,485 So bring on your finest. 462 00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,924 Well, that's exactly what we intend to do-- 463 00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:50,323 bring on the finest. 464 00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,828 You? 465 00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:55,594 You're funnier than that bloke last night! 466 00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,067 No, no, not me, little man. 467 00:23:58,203 --> 00:24:00,172 I'm talking about the Benicia Boy. 468 00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:03,539 Benicia Boy? 469 00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:07,506 Aw... 470 00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:09,740 you're trying to fool old Limey. 471 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:12,612 You think I'm drunk, so you're playing jokes on me. 472 00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:16,085 No, this ain't no joke, little man. 473 00:24:17,589 --> 00:24:19,854 Well, I can't believe it. 474 00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:21,584 Well, you can believe it. 475 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,256 Benicia Boy Heenan? 476 00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:27,457 Hey, uh, Joe, it looks like the little man 477 00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:28,931 that did all that loud bragging 478 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,536 - ain't so sure of himself now, don't it? -Yeah. 479 00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:34,003 Hey, it couldn't be that you and the Duke 480 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,665 are a little afraid of the Benicia Boy, could it? 481 00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,538 Afraid?! 482 00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:46,481 Oh, that's a rich one! Afraid! 483 00:24:46,618 --> 00:24:49,679 The Duke of London afraid of Benicia Boy? 484 00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:52,154 You know what? We've been chasing him 485 00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:54,225 all across the country, 486 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,194 and now he gets delivered to us on a silver tray! 487 00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,767 Ha-ha! Oh, wait till the Duke hears this bit of news! 488 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,495 He'll be pleased fit to bust! 489 00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:08,740 Oh, that's a rich one! 490 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,969 How about a beer? 491 00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:13,976 Hmm. 492 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:20,850 Give me a left again. 493 00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:23,285 Show us the old one-two now. 494 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:34,364 All right, now come in low. 495 00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:37,025 He sure dances around pretty, don't he? 496 00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:38,397 Yeah. 497 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:41,530 Now, whatever you do, don't show them the big wallop. 498 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:44,871 We got to make them bet on Benicia Boy, remember? 499 00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,876 That's it. 500 00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:49,174 All right, now, jab. 501 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:54,649 All right, another jab. 502 00:25:54,786 --> 00:25:55,981 That's it. 503 00:25:56,121 --> 00:25:57,953 Oh, Roy. 504 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,590 All right, jab. 505 00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:03,285 You didn't get a telegram from Adam yet, did you? 506 00:26:03,428 --> 00:26:05,192 Nope. 507 00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:06,525 It's been a week. 508 00:26:06,665 --> 00:26:08,531 Could be the wires are down again. 509 00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:10,863 Oh, no, no, I checked that. 510 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:15,104 What happens if the Benicia Boy don't show up? 511 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,264 Oh, please. 512 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,104 Will you fight him yourself? 513 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,905 Well, the time was when you would. 514 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:22,173 Yeah, well, this isn't the time. 515 00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:25,045 I'll just have to give him that thousand-dollar purse. 516 00:26:25,183 --> 00:26:26,742 A thousand dollars?! 517 00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:29,787 That's what I had to guarantee him for the fight. 518 00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:34,384 Get those knuckles in there, Bobo. 519 00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:37,860 He kind of holds his fist fancy like, too. 520 00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:41,626 Get those knuckles in there. 521 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,930 Yeah, they could really slice a man to pieces. 522 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:47,266 Well, he might slice some men to pieces, 523 00:26:47,405 --> 00:26:51,035 but he'd have to hit a whole lot harder than that to cut me up. 524 00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:54,613 Yeah, maybe so, but not after a few rounds. 525 00:26:54,746 --> 00:26:56,180 Mm-mm. 526 00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:59,250 Well, I'd sure give a pretty to try him anyhow. 527 00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:02,149 Now, when they come in with a short punch... 528 00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:08,584 Hey. Look who came to watch the Duke. 529 00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:10,593 All right, another jab. 530 00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:14,594 J.D.! 531 00:27:14,733 --> 00:27:16,895 Honey, are you all right? 532 00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:19,368 I'm, uh... I'm fine. 533 00:27:20,538 --> 00:27:23,940 Uh, excuse me, I'm... I'm in a hurry. 534 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,909 J.D., how you doing? 535 00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:38,985 Marge. 536 00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:40,820 Excuse me, Roy. 537 00:27:40,959 --> 00:27:43,588 Marge, what's wrong? 538 00:27:43,728 --> 00:27:45,287 What's right? 539 00:27:45,430 --> 00:27:48,195 All you want to do is reach up for something better, 540 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,701 and everybody says, "No, you stay in your place." 541 00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:55,329 Oh, Marge, you know it doesn't matter what people think. 542 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:58,773 Nothing mattered until J.D. 543 00:27:58,910 --> 00:28:02,108 Looks like that's over, too, doesn't it? 544 00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,916 She sure looked pretty, didn't she? 545 00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:15,994 Oh, come on, don't tell me 546 00:28:16,127 --> 00:28:18,756 you're still sweet on her after what happened? 547 00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:21,059 Well, it wasn't her fault. 548 00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:23,862 I think that's enough for one day. 549 00:28:24,002 --> 00:28:26,301 I've got something better to do. 550 00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:28,998 Yeah... and I know what it is. 551 00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:31,166 And it's fair asking for trouble. 552 00:28:31,309 --> 00:28:34,211 Women! They'll be the death of both of us. 553 00:28:34,345 --> 00:28:37,440 Aw, come on, let's get a beer, huh? 554 00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:50,652 That feller's just plain ordinary mean. 555 00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:52,661 - For two cents, I'd... - Come on. 556 00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,026 Come on, let's go. 557 00:30:04,068 --> 00:30:06,060 No more tears, eh? 558 00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:07,729 What do you want? 559 00:30:07,872 --> 00:30:11,900 Oh, there's no need to be coy with me. 560 00:30:12,043 --> 00:30:14,342 I saw you watching the workout. 561 00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,175 You get out of here. 562 00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:17,839 Oh, come, my dear. 563 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:21,316 You might fool the majority of these clods around here, 564 00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:23,512 but you don't fool me. 565 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:26,853 I know you and your kind. 566 00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:29,984 And I know what's bothering you. 567 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:36,933 Guns! 568 00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,799 You're like all the men in this godforsaken country-- 569 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:41,964 the first thing they turn to is guns. 570 00:30:42,106 --> 00:30:43,597 Let go of me! 571 00:30:43,741 --> 00:30:46,370 Oh, there's no need to lie to me. 572 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:50,243 I know you and your kind only too well. 573 00:30:50,381 --> 00:30:54,978 You're trying to be better than you really are, but you can't. 574 00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:57,054 Deep down inside your heart 575 00:30:57,188 --> 00:31:01,148 you know you can't, and you know you never will. 576 00:31:30,989 --> 00:31:33,515 What are you laughing at? 577 00:31:33,658 --> 00:31:35,388 Oh, come on... 578 00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:39,987 don't tell me you've never been laughed at by a woman before. 579 00:31:40,131 --> 00:31:42,259 Hold your tongue! 580 00:31:53,778 --> 00:31:56,680 You won't be laughing when I get through with you. 581 00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:02,211 Let her go, Bobo. 582 00:32:05,156 --> 00:32:06,749 Oh, it's you. 583 00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:09,292 Yes, and it'll always be me. 584 00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:10,827 It happened again, didn't it? 585 00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:12,328 Another one laughed at you. 586 00:32:12,463 --> 00:32:14,364 I told you it would happen again. 587 00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:26,973 You're through. 588 00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,580 I've taken all I'm going to take from you, 589 00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:32,206 you despicable little guttersnipe. 590 00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:38,751 J.D.! 591 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:39,914 Marge. 592 00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:41,549 - Well, what happened? - It's Duke. 593 00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,059 He's beating that poor little man. 594 00:32:43,194 --> 00:32:44,822 - He's gonna kill him. - Where are they? 595 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,159 They're in my room. He broke into my room. 596 00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:49,733 - Come on, Joe. - Right. 597 00:32:49,867 --> 00:32:50,867 I'll be right back. 598 00:32:50,935 --> 00:32:52,403 J.D. 599 00:32:52,537 --> 00:32:54,096 Don't leave me. 600 00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:56,901 Don't ever leave me. 601 00:32:57,041 --> 00:32:59,909 I need you so much. 602 00:33:00,044 --> 00:33:02,240 You need me? 603 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,908 - I need you. - Ah... 604 00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:08,246 Limey! Limey? 605 00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:10,514 Yeah, I'm in here. 606 00:33:11,856 --> 00:33:13,722 Are you gonna make it, Limey? 607 00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:15,952 Take it easy, now. 608 00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:18,393 I want you to sit real easy now on the bed. 609 00:33:18,529 --> 00:33:20,157 I'll be all right. 610 00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,493 - See... - That's it. 611 00:33:21,632 --> 00:33:24,295 It's just the Duke's way of doing things. 612 00:33:24,435 --> 00:33:27,428 My brother don't always see matters my way. 613 00:33:27,572 --> 00:33:29,097 Yeah. 614 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,540 Yeah. You wouldn't have guessed it, would you? 615 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:35,272 Me and the Duke-- brothers? 616 00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:36,574 Brothers? 617 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,416 Yes. 618 00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:42,782 You see, his real name's Clarence Simpson. 619 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,719 Mine's Harry Simpson. 620 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,053 When he was a little tyke, 621 00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:50,957 we called him Bobo. 622 00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:52,825 The baby, he was. 623 00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:56,833 Then they put us in one of them homes, 624 00:33:56,968 --> 00:33:59,267 but I got us out of there. 625 00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:03,631 Oh, you've no idea how I worked and slaved 626 00:34:03,775 --> 00:34:07,371 to put that boy through school. 627 00:34:07,512 --> 00:34:10,414 See, I... I wanted to make a gentleman out of him. 628 00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:11,548 I... 629 00:34:11,616 --> 00:34:13,107 Here. Limey, you just take it easy. 630 00:34:13,251 --> 00:34:16,244 - You might be hurt serious and don't even know it. -No... 631 00:34:16,387 --> 00:34:20,848 What he said hurts much more than what he done. 632 00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:23,359 He can do without me, he says. 633 00:34:23,494 --> 00:34:24,826 Just don't seem possible 634 00:34:24,962 --> 00:34:27,761 that a man could treat his own brother like that. 635 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,130 He's always been the same. 636 00:34:30,268 --> 00:34:32,328 I taught him, you know. 637 00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:35,030 He was going to the dogs, he was. 638 00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:36,698 I made him a boxer. 639 00:34:36,841 --> 00:34:38,173 You see, that... 640 00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:41,404 that's how I earned the money to pay for his schooling. 641 00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:44,482 Then when I got too old to fight, I... 642 00:34:44,615 --> 00:34:46,709 I taught him the trade. 643 00:34:46,851 --> 00:34:48,376 And now he... 644 00:34:48,519 --> 00:34:50,715 he says he can do without me. 645 00:34:50,855 --> 00:34:52,881 Maybe you're better off without him, Limey. 646 00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,550 I taught him good, too. 647 00:34:55,693 --> 00:34:57,753 I wanted him to be the champ. 648 00:34:57,895 --> 00:35:01,127 And he might be, if he'd only leave the skirts alone. 649 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,393 Did he hurt Marge? 650 00:35:03,534 --> 00:35:05,196 Well, he would have. 651 00:35:05,336 --> 00:35:08,898 Yes, he would have; he's done it before. 652 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,033 Oh, I... might as well face up to it. 653 00:35:12,176 --> 00:35:14,042 He's just no good. 654 00:35:14,178 --> 00:35:16,545 So now I'm through with him, you understand? 655 00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,115 I'm through with him. 656 00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:20,775 He thinks he don't need me? 657 00:35:20,918 --> 00:35:22,887 He'll find out. 658 00:35:23,020 --> 00:35:25,012 Just let him find out. 659 00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:32,960 Joe, I don't care what Pa says; this is too much. 660 00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:36,499 Yeah, first J.D., then Marge, and now this. 661 00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:37,897 Joe. 662 00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:40,528 I'm with you. 663 00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:41,934 Let's go. 664 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:46,977 Duke? 665 00:35:47,078 --> 00:35:48,842 Duke! 666 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,040 Well, well, well, the Cartwright clan. 667 00:35:51,182 --> 00:35:53,174 Have you got the Benicia Boy with you? 668 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,979 No. 669 00:35:55,119 --> 00:35:56,917 But we brought a message. 670 00:35:57,054 --> 00:35:59,683 Then deliver it and be on your way. 671 00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,793 All right. 672 00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:09,698 You wanted a fight. 673 00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:11,700 Well, now, buster, you got it. 674 00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,964 I'll take you on for money, marbles or chalk, 675 00:36:14,105 --> 00:36:15,300 you just name it. 676 00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:49,497 Ben, I don't like this one little bit. 677 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,666 Well, neither do I, but Hoss challenged him, 678 00:36:51,809 --> 00:36:54,244 so the only thing we can do now it to see 679 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,573 that everything is conducted properly. 680 00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:57,545 You think Hoss can handle him? 681 00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,651 A match like this? 682 00:36:59,784 --> 00:37:02,583 I only hope he doesn't get hurt badly. 683 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:06,157 Here. You better study these London prize ring rules. 684 00:37:08,292 --> 00:37:09,521 Yeah. How you feeling, Hoss? 685 00:37:09,660 --> 00:37:11,185 I feel great, little brother. 686 00:37:11,329 --> 00:37:13,355 Good. Just lean back, take it easy. 687 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:15,557 That's it. 688 00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:21,668 $25 on Hoss against $100 on the Duke. 689 00:37:24,308 --> 00:37:27,176 Now, I said I was through with him, and I mean it. 690 00:37:27,311 --> 00:37:29,405 I ain't going near his corner, so help me. 691 00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:30,845 But I got to warn you. 692 00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:33,144 You're going to get hurt mortal bad, boy. 693 00:37:33,284 --> 00:37:35,981 Ah. I've been hurt before. 694 00:37:40,391 --> 00:37:43,225 Now, don't you worry. Hoss can take care of himself. 695 00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:46,554 Here, give me some of that four-to-one money 696 00:37:46,697 --> 00:37:48,165 on Hoss Cartwright. 697 00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:52,669 $100 on Hoss against $400 on the Duke. 698 00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,999 You know, you-you've been very kind to me, my lad. 699 00:37:55,139 --> 00:37:56,664 You can take a tip from me. 700 00:37:56,807 --> 00:37:58,298 You go and try and cover that bet, 701 00:37:58,442 --> 00:37:59,501 because you're gonna lose. 702 00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:00,765 Yeah, well, don't you worry. 703 00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:02,439 My brother knows just what he's doing. 704 00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:04,981 Your brother? 705 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,108 Yeah. 706 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:11,722 Come on, you feeling all right? 707 00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:13,154 Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling... 708 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:14,759 - Let's go. - Hey, wait. 709 00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:17,259 Did you put some of my money on that bet? 710 00:38:17,395 --> 00:38:18,886 50 bucks. I'm only half stupid. 711 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,022 Come on. 712 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,194 Hey! 713 00:39:34,472 --> 00:39:36,407 Ladies and gentlemen, 714 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:38,907 as you all know, 715 00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:41,774 this match is being held 716 00:39:41,912 --> 00:39:43,813 against my will. 717 00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:46,508 Oh, no. 718 00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:48,050 However... 719 00:39:50,087 --> 00:39:52,556 ...since it has been joined, 720 00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:56,320 it will be conducted fairly and properly 721 00:39:56,460 --> 00:39:59,589 according to the London prize ring rules. 722 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,097 "Rounds shall continue 723 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:06,694 "until one or both of contestants are down. 724 00:40:06,837 --> 00:40:09,033 "When a man is down, 725 00:40:09,173 --> 00:40:11,768 "his seconds may conduct him to his corner 726 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:14,606 for the rest period." 727 00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:19,647 Would you like, uh, a second assigned to your corner, sir? 728 00:40:25,856 --> 00:40:27,722 "At the end of 30 seconds, 729 00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:29,793 "the referee will call time, 730 00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:31,896 "and the contestants must rise 731 00:40:32,029 --> 00:40:33,895 "and come to the mark. 732 00:40:34,031 --> 00:40:37,433 "Either man failing to toe the mark 733 00:40:37,568 --> 00:40:40,128 "at the end of eight seconds 734 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,536 "after the referee calls time, 735 00:40:42,673 --> 00:40:45,268 "shall be deemed defeated. 736 00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:49,608 The judgment of the referee will be final and absolute." 737 00:40:49,747 --> 00:40:52,546 Now, ladies and gentlemen, 738 00:40:52,683 --> 00:40:56,552 you all know the referee, 739 00:40:56,687 --> 00:40:58,986 your sheriff, Roy Coffee. 740 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,785 - Yeah. - Yay! 741 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,124 Now, you men have heard the rules. 742 00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:12,133 Timekeepers ready? 743 00:41:13,771 --> 00:41:17,765 The contestants will toe that mark. 744 00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:19,376 Ready? 745 00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,007 Time! 746 00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,446 All right, get him! 747 00:41:25,583 --> 00:41:28,143 Go get him, Hoss. 748 00:41:31,388 --> 00:41:32,788 Come on, look out for that jab! 749 00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:37,321 Yeah! Yeah! 750 00:41:40,264 --> 00:41:42,256 Come on, hit him! 751 00:41:49,673 --> 00:41:51,164 Hoss, take your time! 752 00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:53,709 Come on! 753 00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:55,574 Come on! 754 00:42:09,293 --> 00:42:10,886 Come on, cover up! 755 00:42:14,331 --> 00:42:16,027 Time! 756 00:42:16,166 --> 00:42:19,625 All right, come on. 757 00:42:19,770 --> 00:42:22,239 Get him back, Joe. Get him back to the corner! 758 00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:23,841 Let's go. Let's go. 759 00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:26,773 Look, you got to stay away from that jab. 760 00:42:26,911 --> 00:42:28,539 - You got to get inside him. - Yeah. 761 00:42:28,679 --> 00:42:29,977 Hit him in the stomach. 762 00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:31,844 - You're going to hurt him. - Yeah. Right. He... 763 00:42:31,982 --> 00:42:33,974 He's hitting me with that funny little old left, 764 00:42:34,118 --> 00:42:36,314 but I'm gonna get him first with it this time. 765 00:42:38,355 --> 00:42:39,414 Time! 766 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,822 I'm gonna beat him to it. 767 00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:47,095 Come on, take your time! 768 00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,927 Come on, hit him! 769 00:42:53,237 --> 00:42:54,728 Stay away from that jab! 770 00:42:58,042 --> 00:42:59,510 Come on. 771 00:42:59,643 --> 00:43:01,077 Come on! 772 00:43:03,047 --> 00:43:04,174 Come on, get him! 773 00:43:07,051 --> 00:43:08,051 Get him, Hoss! 774 00:43:14,825 --> 00:43:15,825 That's it! 775 00:43:34,578 --> 00:43:36,308 Hoss, stay away from it! 776 00:43:41,085 --> 00:43:42,383 Hey! 777 00:43:42,519 --> 00:43:44,454 Hoss? Hoss! 778 00:43:44,588 --> 00:43:46,580 Hoss, come on. Come on. 779 00:43:46,724 --> 00:43:49,159 Look. 780 00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:53,029 Look, Hoss, I think you had enough. 781 00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:55,962 Pa, was right-- you can't stay in there with a professional. 782 00:43:56,100 --> 00:43:58,626 Ah, he's going to get a bunch of me, Joe. 783 00:43:58,769 --> 00:44:00,431 I'm going to get some of him. 784 00:44:00,571 --> 00:44:02,767 All right, if that's the way you want it. 785 00:44:07,611 --> 00:44:08,611 Time! 786 00:44:17,721 --> 00:44:20,316 Can you see? 787 00:44:20,457 --> 00:44:22,358 One, 788 00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:25,361 two, three, 789 00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:27,260 - four... - Yeah. 790 00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:28,991 ...five, six. 791 00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:35,434 Watch him, Hoss! 792 00:45:07,271 --> 00:45:09,536 Oh, you got him! You got him! 793 00:45:09,673 --> 00:45:10,936 - Hey. - Just one more round. 794 00:45:11,075 --> 00:45:12,907 - That's all he's got. - I knocked him down! 795 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:14,375 You sure did knock him down! 796 00:45:21,819 --> 00:45:23,447 Oh, is that... is that you, Harry? 797 00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,318 It's me, Bobo. It's me, all right. 798 00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:28,653 He's a fair bull. 799 00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:30,317 Like hitting a brick wall. 800 00:45:30,461 --> 00:45:32,123 Well, he's too strong for you. 801 00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:33,821 You've got to move around. 802 00:45:33,964 --> 00:45:35,159 Stay away from him. 803 00:45:35,299 --> 00:45:37,530 Oh, I... I don't know anymore, Harry. 804 00:45:37,668 --> 00:45:40,297 Oh, just stick it out there. 805 00:45:40,437 --> 00:45:42,531 Keep the old flag flying. 806 00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:44,801 I missed you, Harry. 807 00:45:44,942 --> 00:45:47,241 You did? 808 00:45:47,377 --> 00:45:50,905 I'm no good without you. 809 00:45:51,048 --> 00:45:52,048 Time! 810 00:45:52,182 --> 00:45:53,673 Go get him! 811 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,523 Can you get up? 812 00:46:00,657 --> 00:46:01,955 One... 813 00:46:02,092 --> 00:46:03,253 - Just get up there. - two... 814 00:46:03,393 --> 00:46:04,520 - Toe the line. - three... 815 00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:06,459 - And give him the best you've got. -four... 816 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,225 five... 817 00:46:08,365 --> 00:46:11,130 six, seven... 818 00:46:15,539 --> 00:46:18,270 Oh, bless you, Bobo. 819 00:46:18,408 --> 00:46:20,001 The new champ! Way to go, Hoss! 820 00:46:20,144 --> 00:46:21,407 Hoss? Hoss, how do you feel? 821 00:46:21,545 --> 00:46:23,070 - Good going, Hoss! - I feel all right. 822 00:46:23,213 --> 00:46:24,681 I knew you could do it, Hoss! 823 00:46:24,815 --> 00:46:26,136 You did it, Hoss. You whipped him! 824 00:46:29,686 --> 00:46:30,710 You beat the champ! 825 00:46:30,854 --> 00:46:31,878 I don't know. 826 00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:33,888 What are you driving at, son? 827 00:46:34,024 --> 00:46:37,426 He was... he was all alone, Pa. 828 00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:40,423 Oh... 829 00:46:40,564 --> 00:46:42,294 Give him a little room now, boys. 830 00:46:42,432 --> 00:46:43,764 Boys, let's give him... 831 00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:57,941 We are here to settle our account, sir. 832 00:46:58,081 --> 00:47:00,710 Harry, will you please pay the gentleman? 833 00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:02,843 Yes. 834 00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:07,156 Here you are, governor. 835 00:47:07,291 --> 00:47:10,887 1,000 American dollars. 836 00:47:11,028 --> 00:47:12,894 Well. 837 00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:14,896 Thank you, gentlemen. 838 00:47:15,032 --> 00:47:18,025 Uh, Pa, ain't you going to show them the, uh... 839 00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:20,535 you know. 840 00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:21,866 Oh, yes. 841 00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:23,997 Well, I-I almost forgot. 842 00:47:24,141 --> 00:47:26,508 I received a, uh, telegram 843 00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:29,010 from my son in San Francisco. 844 00:47:29,146 --> 00:47:31,047 Says, uh, 845 00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:34,743 "Benicia Boy will not fight you in Virginia City." 846 00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:41,815 "But he would be happy to meet you in San Francisco." 847 00:47:43,193 --> 00:47:45,389 You hear that, Bobo? 848 00:47:45,529 --> 00:47:46,656 We got the big one! 849 00:47:46,797 --> 00:47:48,026 Oh, blimey! Ha-ha! 850 00:47:49,633 --> 00:47:52,000 Mr. Cartwright? Oh. Mr. Cartwright? 851 00:47:52,135 --> 00:47:54,400 I-I was just showing Mar... 852 00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:57,736 Oh, uh, pardon me. 853 00:47:57,875 --> 00:48:00,156 It's all right, J.D. Go ahead. What were you going to say? 854 00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:03,237 Oh, well, I was just going to say that... 855 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:06,043 Marge loves the house. 856 00:48:06,183 --> 00:48:08,015 It's wonderful, Mr. Cartwright. 857 00:48:08,151 --> 00:48:10,211 I will not ask you to shake hands, 858 00:48:10,354 --> 00:48:14,314 but, uh, I would like you both to know how really sorry I am. 859 00:48:14,458 --> 00:48:16,791 Oh, that's, uh... 860 00:48:16,927 --> 00:48:18,020 That's all right. 861 00:48:18,161 --> 00:48:20,596 Come on, Bobo. 862 00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:22,700 San Francisco and the Benicia Boy-- 863 00:48:22,833 --> 00:48:24,165 and you'll murder him. 864 00:48:24,301 --> 00:48:25,735 Well, I don't know about that, 865 00:48:25,869 --> 00:48:28,566 but we'll have a good bash at it, won't we, Harry? 866 00:48:28,705 --> 00:48:30,799 We will and all. Ta-ta. 867 00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:42,211 You know, when your little ones come along... 868 00:48:42,352 --> 00:48:45,220 I hope they're a little smarter than, uh, than those two. 869 00:48:45,355 --> 00:48:47,688 Hey, you know, Hoss, I was just thinking. 870 00:48:47,824 --> 00:48:49,656 There's a... there's a fighter in St. Louis, 871 00:48:49,793 --> 00:48:50,954 sort of an up-and-coming heavyweight 872 00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:52,255 who's going out on the road. 873 00:48:52,396 --> 00:48:53,694 I was just wondering, 874 00:48:53,830 --> 00:48:57,232 if we worked on that left hook of yours a little bit, if... 875 00:49:45,148 --> 00:49:47,879 This has been a color presentation 876 00:49:48,018 --> 00:49:50,453 of the NBC Television Network. 58712

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