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1
00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:07,990
-The "Today" show?
2
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:10,540
-We are talking to
Pulitzer Prize-winning author
3
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:13,500
Lindy Littlejohn about her
sensational new short story.
4
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:15,790
-Reality check,
you didn't fucking write it.
5
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:18,130
-You know, everything
I write provokes someone.
6
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,470
-I'm acting perfectly normal!
7
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,550
-Maybe control
is his love language.
8
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:24,140
-You ran out saying
someone could be dead.
9
00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:26,390
-Yeah, Lindy is--
Lindy is having a hard time.
10
00:00:26,420 --> 00:00:27,810
Richard:
As our size decreased,
11
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,730
our proportional strength
increased.
12
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,230
-[cheers]
-This is your time.
13
00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:33,480
-Tell me it's my turn.
14
00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:36,190
-My turn is yet
to win me the Nobel.
15
00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,980
-The Nobel? [laughs]
16
00:00:38,020 --> 00:00:39,530
Les: How can I trust you
17
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,150
if you're gonna expose me
like that?
18
00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:42,910
-Don't trust me then!
19
00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:44,030
-So the seizures have nothing
to do with miniaturization?
20
00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:45,240
-Completely unrelated.
21
00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,410
-Lindy?
22
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,410
-Right here, Les.
23
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,540
And I can take care of myself.
24
00:00:49,570 --> 00:00:51,330
-Lindy? Is that you?
25
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,250
-She was going to leave me.
It was an accident.
26
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,920
-Until you are honest,
you are fucked.
27
00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:57,750
-She left us, didn't she?
28
00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:01,170
-Lindy was on the "Today" show
this morning.
29
00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:02,890
-What? What? What?!
30
00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:07,440
Truth is,
I miniaturized you...
31
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,070
on purpose.
32
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:16,320
[upbeat music playing]
33
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,080
[cat purring]
34
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:36,930
-Whatever.
35
00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,100
[meows]
36
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:51,470
-If I was Mom,
what would my password be?
37
00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:53,440
[meows, purrs]
38
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,620
-Oh, yeah.
39
00:02:01,950 --> 00:02:05,110
"'Darling Daughter'
by Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
40
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:08,740
"What if I told you I spent
nine months building a jail,
41
00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,990
"only to sentence myself
to a lifetime in prison?
42
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:15,510
"That, I've discovered,
is what motherhood actually is.
43
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:21,840
"From her adorable baby's face,
those demonic eyes stare out.
44
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:24,590
"Laughing at me.
'Yes,' she's saying,
45
00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:26,810
"'I've ruined
your fucking day again.'
46
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,840
"'Mommy!' She cries.
47
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,800
"Her voice a razor blade
to my ears.
48
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,430
"I want her to call out for me.
49
00:02:32,460 --> 00:02:33,930
"I wanna be there for her.
50
00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,140
"I want my maternal instinct
to kick in.
51
00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,520
"Why won't it?
52
00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:39,350
"I dream of a life
without a daughter,
53
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:41,610
"sucking at the teat
of inspiration,
54
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,190
"preventing me from being...
55
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,830
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck."
56
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,710
Fuck. Mom hates me.
-[meows]
57
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,340
[light music playing]
58
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:08,730
♪ Maybe it's much ♪
♪ Too early in the game ♪
59
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:15,640
♪ But I thought ♪
♪ I'd ask you just the same ♪
60
00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:17,680
[food sizzling]
61
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,980
♪ What are you doing ♪
♪ New Year's... ♪
62
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:23,070
-Got your invitation.
-[Lindy gasps]
63
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,650
A New Year's Eve brunch for me?
64
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:29,200
I mean, I'm honored.
65
00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:31,080
But what, uh,
what prompted this?
66
00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:33,580
-A new perspective.
67
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:34,630
-Huh.
68
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:37,920
-I'm embracing
my six-inch self.
69
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,750
But I realized
I've been kind of a jerk.
70
00:03:42,780 --> 00:03:46,050
-Hey, jerk is strong,
given the circumstances.
71
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,340
-See? You've been nothing
but kind, Richard.
72
00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,140
And I wanted you to know,
73
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,390
I am grateful for you
and your company.
74
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:58,850
-"The course of true love
never did run smooth."
75
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,020
Shakespeare.
-No.
76
00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:02,900
New year, new me.
77
00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:06,690
I'm sorry.
-Mom always says,
78
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,440
it's never too late
to begin again.
79
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,200
-Oh, your mom.
80
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:11,700
So wise.
-Right?
81
00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,450
-To new beginnings.
82
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,620
-You know what else
my mom said--
83
00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:15,740
-Should we eat?
84
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,370
It's just gonna get cold,
I think.
85
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,750
-Okay.
-Okay.
86
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,420
[elecronic music playing]
87
00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,680
[soft beeping]
88
00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:40,980
[all gasping]
-Oh.
89
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:43,730
-A tremendous success.
90
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,730
Subject expanded to regular size
91
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,650
and stabilized for two minutes
and 3.3 seconds.
92
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,240
An increase of one minute
and 32.7 seconds!
93
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:54,280
all: Yes!
-Whoo! Science progress!
94
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:57,240
Yeah! Oh.
95
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,620
-Well done.
-Yeah! Great job.
96
00:04:58,650 --> 00:05:00,000
-That is well done.
-Great job.
97
00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,330
-Well done.
-Yeah. Slowing the reaction
98
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,000
down, way, way down
helped, um...
99
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:04,620
-Yes. The, uh, nuclei
need time...
100
00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,170
Les: Yeah.
-...which is acceptable...
101
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,170
Les: Yes.
-...to form stronger bonds.
102
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,420
-Yes. Uh, it's fundamental
to--yes,
103
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,300
for those fragile--uh,
to cement those connections.
104
00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,930
-The--or, uh, alliances.
105
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,010
-Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
-Yes.
106
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,810
-Are we talking
about science?
107
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,850
-Yes, Hilton.
108
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,600
We're always talking
about science.
109
00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:24,240
This is a lab of science.
110
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:25,440
-Okay. Well, I heard a bang,
and then, there was, like,
111
00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:27,810
a cheer of release,
so my mind went there.
112
00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:29,650
It was in my head.
Is there good news?
113
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,280
-It was a big win, yes.
114
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,820
Slowing the expansion
of the corn
115
00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:35,910
mitigated the molecular
disequilibrium, yes.
116
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,120
-Translation,
it's remarkable progress.
117
00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:41,120
-Fuck yeah.
We should celebrate.
118
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:43,790
I'm having a New Year's Eve
shindig tonight at my place.
119
00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:46,170
Gonna be amazing food,
crazy guest list,
120
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,210
and you are all invited.
121
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,840
-Wait, it's New Year's Eve?
122
00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:53,010
Uh, I can't go.
Uh, it's my anniversary.
123
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,630
-Oh. Just bring Lindy.
124
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:55,500
It'll be great to see her again.
125
00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:58,690
-Well, well, uh...
-[Hilton chuckles]
126
00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:02,810
-I only organize
fantastic parties.
127
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,230
You gotta come.
Done. Set. Happy.
128
00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,950
See you all there.
129
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,070
Whoo!
130
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:13,320
-Translation, see you all there
means Les only.
131
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:14,860
And you can't say no.
132
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,080
[phone dings and buzzes]
133
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:21,240
-Do you think
you'll bring Lindy?
134
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,660
-Um, I don't know.
135
00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:24,920
I mean, I--it's--uh,
I don't know.
136
00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,580
Lindy [on recording]: Hey,
I've done a lot of thinking,
137
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:32,420
and I'm embracing
my six-inch self
138
00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,420
so, New Year, new me.
139
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:37,010
I forgive you
for shrinking me on purpose.
140
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,680
Meet me in the dollhouse.
141
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,550
I have an anniversary
surprise for you.
142
00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:41,900
-[chuckles]
143
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:47,850
woman: Oh, the missus?
144
00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:49,270
She left.
145
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:50,900
-Was she mad?
146
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:53,360
woman: She had two glasses
of wine and left.
147
00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:54,610
-So she was mad.
148
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,360
Maybe disappointed.
149
00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:57,750
-That's worse. Isn't it?
150
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,570
-Happy New Year.
151
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,530
[Charlie sighs]
152
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:04,000
woman: Charlie,
what's happening?
153
00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:07,540
[door closes]
154
00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:09,080
[woman on TV gasps]
155
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,380
He shouldn't be alone
right now.
156
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:11,630
man: Let him go.
157
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:12,760
-Hi.
158
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,180
-Hi.
159
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,810
-Hey, Lindy.
-Hey, Les.
160
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:24,610
Happy anniversary.
161
00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:28,140
-It's okay. Lay into me. I...
162
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,730
I deserve it.
163
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:30,820
Lindy: You do.
164
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,160
But I understand.
165
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,780
-You do?
166
00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:39,780
Lindy: You're caught up
in your work.
167
00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:41,240
And when you're in it,
168
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,960
you can lose track
of birthdays, holidays.
169
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,130
I know I do. Did.
170
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,080
You supported me
in the way I needed it,
171
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:55,050
so I'm supporting you.
172
00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,090
-Okay.
-Uh-hmm.
173
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,430
So I was mad.
174
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:06,510
I mean, I was alone
in a restaurant
175
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:07,820
on New Year's Eve.
176
00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:12,270
But then,
I came home and I got cozy,
177
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,150
and I was gonna watch
the ball drop with Lulu,
178
00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:15,480
but she won't come out
of her room.
179
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,780
Probably something to do
with Steffy.
180
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,280
And so, I opened up a bottle
181
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,660
of your do-not-touch-until-never
wine.
182
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,250
And now I feel better.
183
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:30,260
-I love you.
184
00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:37,680
-I love you too.
185
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:42,880
Feel free to apologize
profusely.
186
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,640
-Yeah.
-And maybe next time
187
00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:46,010
bring me those chocolates
I like from the drugstore.
188
00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:49,020
-I am sorry and I apologize
profusely for, um,
189
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:52,360
disappointing you and
for forgetting our anniversary.
190
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,410
-I forgive you.
191
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:03,960
[both chuckle]
192
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,090
-It's, like, the big box.
-Yeah.
193
00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:14,050
-Well, happy anniversary.
-Happy anniversary.
194
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,550
-All right. All is forgiven.
195
00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:22,470
Les: Lindy?
196
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:28,230
Oh, Lindy... [chuckles]
197
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,900
[doorbell rings]
198
00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:34,150
Lindy?
199
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,990
You got me intrigued.
200
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,920
-Happy anniversary, honey!
201
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,920
-Happy anniversary.
202
00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,760
Lindy: Oh, you remembered!
203
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:03,430
[suspenseful music playing]
204
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,270
-What is that?
205
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,270
-Your surprise.
206
00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:16,730
-Oh. I--it's not
what you think, Les.
207
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,030
-It's exactly what you think.
208
00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:22,900
-Uh, Richard?
Is that really you?
209
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:23,820
-Yeah.
210
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,320
Richard Paul Wear
211
00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:27,610
from your fucking lab.
212
00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:31,080
-This is not how I foresaw us
having this conversation.
213
00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:33,910
-You and him--and her? What?
214
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:36,250
You thought we would have
a conversation?
215
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,830
What?
-One day.
216
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,750
As gentlemen.
217
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,130
-How long?
-Forever.
218
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,090
-Six and a half months. Barely.
219
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,260
-Uh, why him?
-He's not you!
220
00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:48,590
-It was a chance encounter.
Um, but you have--
221
00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,930
Les: Lindy, how could you?
Because I...
222
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,640
I told you the truth.
223
00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,600
I poured my heart out to you.
224
00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:56,140
I was vulnerable.
And now this? Why? Why?
225
00:10:56,180 --> 00:11:00,440
-I did it...on purpose!
226
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,650
-On purpose?
227
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,440
-Yeah, he knows why.
228
00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:04,940
-But you forgave me.
229
00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:07,750
-I lied! [laughs]
230
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:13,120
-How dare you.
Lindy: How dare me?
231
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:16,450
So, you can lie,
leave a voice note, and what?
232
00:11:16,490 --> 00:11:17,790
You're Abraham Lincoln?
233
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:21,130
-You baited me
on a voice note,
234
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,130
and then you exploited
our wedding anniversary,
235
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,630
and then you reveal
you're having an affair
236
00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,300
with my physicist?
237
00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:28,680
How is that the same?
238
00:11:28,710 --> 00:11:32,140
-It's not.
It's meant to be worse!
239
00:11:32,170 --> 00:11:34,180
-I was lying to be kind...
240
00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,520
-No, no.
-...to spare your feelings.
241
00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:37,640
-A lie is a lie!
242
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,060
-As someone who has been
lied to as well.
243
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,980
-You! You're my colleague.
-Yes.
244
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,570
Les: That's my wife.
-I know.
245
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,480
-Richard,
what in the name of science?
246
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,490
Like, what the...
[shouts] fuck?!
247
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,150
[both shriek]
248
00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:54,870
-What the fucking fuck?!
249
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,210
Fuck!
250
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,550
[laughing]
251
00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:08,920
-This is not fucking funny!
252
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,050
-You're holding a pillow
over your tiny junk.
253
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,390
It's so tiny.
254
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,350
You're both so tiny.
255
00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:16,890
Oop, there's the tiny bum.
256
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,180
That's so cute.
Lindy: Fuck you!
257
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:21,520
I am gonna fucking kill you!
258
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:24,520
-Oh, yeah? Try.
-I'm fucking--you're a liar!
259
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,520
You lied!
-What's that?
260
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,190
Did you say something?
-I--fuck you!
261
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:32,460
You made me this way!
I fucking hate you!
262
00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:37,540
-I think you dropped this.
-Fuck you!
263
00:12:37,570 --> 00:12:39,250
-Are you tap dancing?
264
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,540
-No. Fuck you. Fuck you.
265
00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:44,090
-Hey, hey, I think
this has gone far enough.
266
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,380
-You know what, Richard?
267
00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:49,130
I think you're right.
268
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,430
[tense music playing]
269
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,810
[rumbling]
-Hold on.
270
00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:04,400
This is not good.
-Oh, you think? You think?
271
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:06,560
I can't believe
you did this on purpose.
272
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,400
On purpose?
Why would you do that?
273
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:10,440
-You don't--Richard, hey, hey.
-Oh, my God. I feel sick.
274
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,070
-This is not about you, okay?
-Where is my mom?
275
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,450
-Oh, no!
[Richard screams]
276
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,950
-No! Richard!
277
00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,580
Richard: Les, Les,
we gotta talk about this.
278
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,910
Les, please.
279
00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:21,250
No man could've resisted
280
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,250
the siren song of that woman.
281
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,250
The beguiling web she weaved.
282
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,590
The hypnotic allure
of that brunch.
283
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:30,090
She deceived me!
She deceived both of us!
284
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,920
-No.
285
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:36,340
You deceived me, Richard,
for six and a half months.
286
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,210
[yelps]
287
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,100
We share thoughts,
we share science.
288
00:13:39,130 --> 00:13:41,680
We do not share my wife.
289
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,770
Richard: Les, I'm sorry.
Nothing happened between us.
290
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,940
-[bird chirping]
Richard: I... [groans]
291
00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:46,820
Okay, you're squeezing
kind of tightly.
292
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,660
Les.
293
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,030
[grunting]
Please. Okay.
294
00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:53,110
Oh, where are we going?
[bird chirps]
295
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:54,610
Richard: Les, no, no, no.
No, no, no. Les.
296
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,320
Les: Hello, Dolores.
Richard: Les, please.
297
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,450
Les. No. Les, you can't do this.
298
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,620
Please. Les. Les!
299
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:02,830
Les, no! No, please!
300
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,370
Les. Les. Les, no, no, no.
301
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,670
[screams]
302
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,340
No! No!
303
00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:14,970
No! Please, stop!
304
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,470
Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up.
305
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:20,190
[groaning and yelping]
306
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:24,020
Please, in the name of science!
307
00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:25,810
-How dare
you blaspheme science?
308
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,810
-No, no.
-On top of everything else.
309
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,730
-No! Please! No, no.
310
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,320
-Meet your new playmate,
pretty bird.
311
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:33,480
-Please, no.
-His name is Fuck You.
312
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:34,740
-I don't wanna play
with a bird.
313
00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:36,320
I don't wanna play with a bird.
314
00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:37,910
Oh! [groans]
315
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:39,040
Oh! Oh!
316
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,420
-[chirping]
Richard: Oh, my God, no!
317
00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:46,710
It's, uh, Dolores, right?
-[squawking]
318
00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,380
Good birdie. Good birdie.
319
00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:52,390
Hey.
320
00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:56,170
Oh. Uh, the pen.
321
00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:58,390
Is the pen truly mightier
than the sword?
322
00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:01,560
En garde!
-[screeching]
323
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:04,110
-I'm coming, Richard.
I'm coming.
324
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,610
[gasps]
[footsteps thudding]
325
00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:10,070
-Oh.
326
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:12,770
Shit.
327
00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:14,400
Okay. Okay.
328
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,160
[power shuts down]
329
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:20,000
-Oh, what is he doing?
330
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,200
[gasps]
331
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,870
[metallic clicking]
332
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,840
-What is that?
-[beeps]
333
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,430
Shut the fuck up, Space Anus.
334
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,100
[ominous music playing]
335
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,810
-Live in darkness.
336
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,990
[Lindy grunting]
337
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:59,410
[groaning, panting]
338
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,460
[bird cage clatters]
339
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:10,670
-Richard?
340
00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:14,220
Richie!
341
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:19,390
[suspenseful music playing]
342
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,940
-Richard!
343
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,400
Richie.
344
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:35,620
[gasps]
345
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:39,870
Richard!
346
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:45,880
Richie!
347
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,050
Richard! Where are you?
348
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,500
Richie? I'm sorry.
349
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:56,590
I know this is all my fault.
350
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,380
[phone dings]
-Oh, fuck.
351
00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,140
That is a lot of texts.
352
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:04,890
Wait.
[phone dings]
353
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,610
-What?
354
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,730
No. Oh, my God.
355
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:13,990
What is she...?
356
00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:17,900
Jenna: Good morning.
We recently featured
357
00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:20,230
Pulitzer Prize-winning author
Lindy Littlejohn
358
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,740
on the Read with Jenna
segment of our show.
359
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:25,410
We've learned Lindy's
been accused of plagiarizing
360
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,450
her recently published
New Yorker short story,
361
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,370
"Untitled on Purpose."
362
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,080
The shocking allegation
originated from an unexpected
363
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:34,870
and personal place,
a viral TikTok video
364
00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:36,920
posted by the author's
own daughter...
365
00:17:36,950 --> 00:17:38,920
-[gasps]
-...Louise Littlejohn.
366
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:43,260
-So, my mom is a, quote,
"successful writer," unquote.
367
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:45,800
-Lulu!
-She wrote one book
368
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,550
150 years ago.
369
00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:50,600
Anyway, this week,
out of nowhere,
370
00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:53,390
Mom drops a short story
in The New Yorker?
371
00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:56,100
And everyone loses
their [bleep] over it.
372
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:59,940
Well, I'm gonna let you in
on a big secret.
373
00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:02,740
My mom didn't write it.
374
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:05,570
She stole it from one
of her students.
375
00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,240
-What the actual fuck?
Lulu: The truth is, my mom
376
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:08,740
doesn't even write anymore.
377
00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:10,410
She spends her days
watching Housewives
378
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,240
and making fake
Paris Review accounts
379
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,910
so she can [bleep] talk
other writers.
380
00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:15,580
-You...
381
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,290
Jenna: We were unable
to reach Lindy Littlejohn
382
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,590
directly for comment,
but we were able to reach
383
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,760
the author's mother,
Diane McMichael Jones,
384
00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:24,920
who is widely suspected
to have inspired
385
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,930
the mother character
in her daughter's
386
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,010
Pulitzer Prize-winning
debut novel,
387
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,310
My Rainbow Starts with Black.
388
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:32,980
-No, I have no comment.
389
00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:36,850
Except to say,
390
00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:39,520
I haven't read
Lindy's little story.
391
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,520
But I will say, I didn't care
for her portrayal
392
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,320
of the mother character
in her novel.
393
00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:44,320
-[moaning]
394
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,320
-The real crime
is that Lindy made me out
395
00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:50,000
to be a terrible mother,
which I'm not.
396
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,830
Jenna: What a wild,
unexpected turn
397
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:55,290
for Lindy Littlejohn.
398
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,710
We'll continue
to follow this story
399
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:59,180
and keep you updated
as it develops.
400
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,210
Lulu [on video]: I'm gonna
let you in on a big secret.
401
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,720
My mom didn't write it.
402
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,760
She stole it
from one of her students.
403
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,260
The truth is, my mom
doesn't even write anymore.
404
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,430
She spends her days
watching Housewives
405
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:17,140
and making fake
Paris Review accounts
406
00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,890
so she can shit talk
other writers.
407
00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:20,810
-St. Lulu DeLulu.
408
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:22,400
-Oh, sorry.
I didn't hear my name.
409
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:23,770
-I didn't call it.
410
00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:25,610
I want to bring it
to you personally.
411
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,320
-Oh.
412
00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:29,450
Okay. Thank you.
413
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,950
barista:
I also have a complicated
414
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:32,290
relationship with my mother.
415
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:35,290
Here, a cakepop, on me.
416
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,330
I hope you like vanilla.
417
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,720
-Thank you.
-Thank you, St. Lulu DeLulu.
418
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:45,220
[phone dings]
419
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,850
♪ This time of night ♪
♪ Feels like ♪
420
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,270
♪ I'm losing my mind to find ♪
421
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:01,650
♪ The smell of blood ♪
♪ In my dreams ♪
422
00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:08,490
♪ Darkness and silence bring ♪
♪ The fear in your eyes ♪
423
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,540
[indistinct chatter]
[jazz music playing]
424
00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:34,970
-Here's to us.
425
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,180
-I thought
you were bringing an us.
426
00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:37,310
-No, fuck that us.
427
00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:38,640
New Year, new Les.
428
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,690
-Wow, who knew?
Hilton: Hey!
429
00:20:42,050 --> 00:20:43,560
No Lindy tonight?
430
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,560
-No, no, she's at home,
under a blanket,
431
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:45,860
not in a party mood, no.
432
00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:48,150
-Oh. Well,
I can't say I blame her.
433
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:52,150
Uh, that interview turned
into quite the Greek tragedy.
434
00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:53,660
But you can tell me.
435
00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:56,200
I won't tell anyone
other than everyone.
436
00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:57,660
[laughs]
437
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,660
Did she do it?
Plagiarize the story?
438
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,160
-Oh, I don't know.
439
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,830
What? I don't know.
440
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:05,670
-Right answer.
Deny, deny, deny.
441
00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:06,920
All set for tonight?
442
00:21:06,950 --> 00:21:08,340
-Everything is in place.
Hilton: Great.
443
00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:09,470
General Henderson: Hilton.
-Oh, General.
444
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:12,840
-May I have a word?
-Oh, of course.
445
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,230
Looking forward
to the party trick.
446
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:17,850
-Party trick? What?
-A performance.
447
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,350
There are several important
private equity investors here
448
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:21,770
that Hilton would love
to impress
449
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,060
with a preview of your tech.
450
00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:24,940
-Absolutely not.
451
00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:28,190
I am a scientist,
not a party clown.
452
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,190
You know the tech is incomplete.
What am I supposed to do?
453
00:21:30,230 --> 00:21:31,690
Fake it? No.
454
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:34,240
-It's just a preview,
short and sweet.
455
00:21:34,270 --> 00:21:36,080
The corn is small, ta-da.
456
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,200
The corn is big, ta-da.
End of story.
457
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,580
-It's fraud.
-It's sales.
458
00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:43,370
-It's my ass in prison
is what it is.
459
00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:45,540
I've already got a journalist
poking around the lab,
460
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,290
asking questions
about Bob the Explainer's
461
00:21:47,330 --> 00:21:48,790
MedBot brother-in-law.
462
00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:50,430
What's to stop Nils
exposing me?
463
00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:54,140
-Let me worry about Nils
and your ass.
464
00:21:54,710 --> 00:21:56,480
It is one worth saving.
465
00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:59,560
Tonight,
the only thing on your mind
466
00:21:59,590 --> 00:22:02,440
should be Nobel.
467
00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:04,390
-Nobel?
468
00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:05,440
-Nobel.
469
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,280
Do you see what I see?
470
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,240
-[gasps]
471
00:22:16,270 --> 00:22:18,780
That's Dr. Emil Schaffhausen.
472
00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:20,080
-Nobel Prize recipient
473
00:22:20,110 --> 00:22:21,580
and current committee member.
474
00:22:21,610 --> 00:22:22,910
Chair, in fact.
475
00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:24,580
-Oh, I did
my postgraduate work
476
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:27,120
on Dr. Schaffhausen's Theory
of Entanglement Swapping.
477
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,960
He is a bona fide
science genius.
478
00:22:28,990 --> 00:22:30,500
-Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
479
00:22:30,540 --> 00:22:32,590
Just imagine what the support
of a man like that
480
00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:34,640
would do for your career.
-[gasps]
481
00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:36,810
It's just a preview,
482
00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:42,150
short and sweet,
small and big.
483
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,030
-Ta-da.
484
00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:49,070
[phone dings, chimes]
485
00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:53,660
[people chattering]
[phone continues chiming]
486
00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:56,500
[inhales sharply]
[turns off phone]
487
00:22:59,650 --> 00:23:01,490
-Hey, why are you here?
488
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:02,700
-Why are any of us here?
489
00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:04,330
-Oh, God.
Is this where we are?
490
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:07,040
Um, well, everyone else
is, uh, down the hall,
491
00:23:07,070 --> 00:23:08,460
getting drunk as hell,
watching the tourists
492
00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:10,290
in Times Square freeze
their asses off.
493
00:23:10,330 --> 00:23:12,800
We're doing a shot every time
a police horse takes a dump.
494
00:23:12,830 --> 00:23:14,050
[chuckles]
495
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,850
-I need something different
in my life.
496
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,060
What's this?
497
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,190
-Something different.
498
00:23:29,550 --> 00:23:31,900
-Did you open this?
-No--yes.
499
00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:33,530
It's my job.
My eyes, then yours.
500
00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:48,910
-Oh, fuck!
501
00:23:48,950 --> 00:23:49,870
What do I do?
502
00:23:49,910 --> 00:23:50,830
[telephone ringing]
503
00:23:50,870 --> 00:23:52,750
-[gasps] It's him. I know it.
504
00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,210
-You answer it.
-You answer it.
505
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,760
-It's your job.
506
00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,010
-I'm actually off the clock,
so you answer it.
507
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,220
-Fuck.
508
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:02,730
Okay.
509
00:24:06,970 --> 00:24:08,230
Hello, this is Terry.
510
00:24:08,260 --> 00:24:10,270
Lindy: Yeah, it's me.
-It's Lindy.
511
00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:11,560
Oh, I'm not missing
this shit show.
512
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,020
-Your phone is off.
513
00:24:14,060 --> 00:24:15,770
Terry: For just this reason.
514
00:24:15,810 --> 00:24:19,290
-[sighs] You're hiding from me
because you failed me.
515
00:24:19,550 --> 00:24:20,610
-No, no, no, no, no.
516
00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:22,700
You failed me.
517
00:24:22,730 --> 00:24:24,950
What happened to do nothing,
say nothing?
518
00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:26,910
Lindy: You don't understand.
519
00:24:26,940 --> 00:24:28,870
I am so small.
520
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:31,130
I needed something.
521
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:36,550
-Well, you're about
to get smaller.
522
00:24:36,580 --> 00:24:38,420
Lindy, the damage
has been done.
523
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:40,260
The Pulitzer committee
is meeting
524
00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:41,970
and there's talk
of rescinding your award.
525
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,550
-What? No.
526
00:24:43,590 --> 00:24:45,760
No, not--no, they can't.
527
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,270
-They can.
And they most likely will.
528
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:49,610
Lindy: But...
529
00:24:51,010 --> 00:24:53,610
but what am I without it?
530
00:24:55,810 --> 00:24:57,450
-A former client.
531
00:24:59,310 --> 00:25:00,370
-Terry...
532
00:25:01,350 --> 00:25:02,710
-Brutal but warranted.
533
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,910
-Lindy, I tried.
I really tried,
534
00:25:04,940 --> 00:25:07,240
but I'm somehow still clean
in this, this, this...
535
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,410
-Shit storm, shit sandwich,
a shitnado.
536
00:25:09,450 --> 00:25:10,960
-...shitnado.
537
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:12,660
I warned you, Lindy,
538
00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:15,080
and you chose Jenna over me.
539
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:18,500
Over our friendship,
our partnership.
540
00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:20,760
I can't--I can't believe
I'm saying this,
541
00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:22,800
but I, I...
542
00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:24,810
[driving music playing]
543
00:25:28,550 --> 00:25:30,570
I'm officially
cutting ties with you.
544
00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:32,820
Lindy: Terry...
545
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,480
please. No.
546
00:25:35,510 --> 00:25:37,110
Please don't leave me. I...
547
00:25:37,140 --> 00:25:38,940
I have no one.
548
00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:41,280
I am totally alone here.
549
00:25:41,310 --> 00:25:45,110
I, uh--my own mother,
my daughter, my husband,
550
00:25:45,150 --> 00:25:46,530
Les fuckin' hates me.
551
00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:49,950
Uh, it is truly over
between us now,
552
00:25:49,990 --> 00:25:52,840
and I can't lose you, too.
553
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,170
Terry:
I'm sorry it's come to this.
554
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,710
[disconnected tone]
555
00:25:58,740 --> 00:26:01,760
[dramatic music playing]
556
00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:11,350
-Hey, you had to.
I know it's hard.
557
00:26:11,380 --> 00:26:12,690
I'll miss her, too.
558
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,810
Oh, um, Ms. Holden,
Happy New Year.
559
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,400
-Nothing happy, nothing new.
560
00:26:17,430 --> 00:26:19,200
Why did you offer
a Jackie Baldwin
561
00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:22,150
a six-figure book deal
when I've seen no Jackie,
562
00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:24,240
no book,
no email, no proposal?
563
00:26:24,270 --> 00:26:26,320
-Cyd, she is the next
big thing.
564
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,990
-Yeah, well,
you better hope so.
565
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:31,210
No Lindy,
no Jackie, no imprint.
566
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,380
-Love the top. [chuckles]
567
00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:38,220
Paper trail, you're unclean.
568
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,470
-So are you.
569
00:26:41,410 --> 00:26:42,720
-Fuck.
570
00:26:46,460 --> 00:26:49,520
[electronic music playing]
571
00:26:54,340 --> 00:26:58,230
[rumbles and whooshes]
[crowd gasps]
572
00:26:58,260 --> 00:27:00,230
Hilton: Yeah.
573
00:27:00,260 --> 00:27:04,790
-Now, I need a volunteer.
574
00:27:07,650 --> 00:27:08,660
Sir.
575
00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:12,210
[music continues]
576
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,560
-That's fantastisch.
That's wonderful.
577
00:27:28,830 --> 00:27:31,010
The corn has been miniaturized
578
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,970
into what appears to be
one-tenth its original size.
579
00:27:35,010 --> 00:27:37,770
-One-twelfth, to be precise.
580
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,070
And now...
581
00:27:40,390 --> 00:27:42,820
[music continues]
582
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,920
[sizzling]
583
00:27:55,570 --> 00:27:58,840
[cheers and applause]
584
00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:05,380
-I did not expect...
585
00:28:05,410 --> 00:28:07,340
-Two-minute warning.
-Not now.
586
00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:09,630
-These are serious
implications, you know.
587
00:28:09,670 --> 00:28:11,300
You must be--
-Dr. Littlejohn,
588
00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:12,970
it's been
an explosive evening.
589
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,690
-Sir, uh...
590
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,360
-Quick, the corn, go.
591
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,320
-Here we are.
I was just saying
592
00:28:26,350 --> 00:28:29,820
to, um, Dr. Schaffhausen,
who was expecting an explosion,
593
00:28:29,850 --> 00:28:32,570
how clever it was that
we mitigated the explosion
594
00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:34,830
by storing the exothermally
generated energy
595
00:28:34,860 --> 00:28:36,540
on a subatomic level.
596
00:28:36,570 --> 00:28:37,830
Vivienne: Yes,
it was an explosive...
597
00:28:37,860 --> 00:28:39,330
[explodes]
[Janet screams]
598
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:40,380
-...discovery.
599
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,000
-To an explosive New Year!
600
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:47,250
man: Yeah!
601
00:28:47,290 --> 00:28:50,720
[cheers and applause]
602
00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:53,640
[whirring]
603
00:28:56,460 --> 00:28:58,570
-[sighs]
604
00:29:00,220 --> 00:29:02,570
I've hit rock bottom.
605
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,240
It's all fucking gone.
606
00:29:10,810 --> 00:29:12,580
What is the point?
607
00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:16,080
[whirring stops]
608
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,300
[gasps]
609
00:29:22,410 --> 00:29:24,630
Richie, you're alive.
610
00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:26,040
Oh, my God.
611
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,640
-No, no, no. You disgust me.
612
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,550
I-I mean it. I'm disgusted.
613
00:29:31,580 --> 00:29:33,090
It consumes me.
614
00:29:33,130 --> 00:29:37,390
My heart, my mind, my soul,
everything hurts.
615
00:29:37,420 --> 00:29:39,890
-Richie.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
616
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,560
But I--
-But...
617
00:29:41,590 --> 00:29:43,360
-Well, but--
-But...
618
00:29:44,930 --> 00:29:48,120
a true apology should never
include a qualifier.
619
00:29:48,970 --> 00:29:50,280
-You're right.
620
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,740
I'm sorry. No but.
621
00:29:52,770 --> 00:29:54,790
What I did was inexcusable.
622
00:29:56,770 --> 00:29:59,280
I had no idea Les
was gonna react like that.
623
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,450
I didn't think it through.
I...
624
00:30:01,490 --> 00:30:03,790
-I suppose a reaction
of that magnitude
625
00:30:03,820 --> 00:30:05,010
couldn't have been predicted.
626
00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:07,050
-I, uh, I need you...
627
00:30:08,330 --> 00:30:09,630
now more than ever.
628
00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:13,130
You have no idea
what has happened to me.
629
00:30:13,170 --> 00:30:14,170
-What happened...
-I--
630
00:30:14,210 --> 00:30:15,340
-...to you?
631
00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,310
-Uh, yeah. The--this--
632
00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:19,760
-I have the floor.
633
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,010
-Okay.
634
00:30:21,050 --> 00:30:22,770
-I'm gonna finish
my monologue.
635
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,180
-Of course.
636
00:30:24,220 --> 00:30:27,190
-I was forced to do
unspeakable things
637
00:30:27,220 --> 00:30:28,980
to one of God's
beloved creatures.
638
00:30:29,010 --> 00:30:32,820
I was coerced into abandoning
my moral code
639
00:30:32,850 --> 00:30:35,780
and playing a part
in your marital folly,
640
00:30:35,810 --> 00:30:37,910
but I am not above reproach.
641
00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:40,660
I am guilty on two counts.
642
00:30:40,690 --> 00:30:42,200
One, in the name of love,
643
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:47,040
and the other,
in the name of science.
644
00:30:47,070 --> 00:30:48,710
I believe in Les.
645
00:30:48,740 --> 00:30:51,960
I believe he'll solve
the restoration formula
646
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,630
before his 30-day deadline.
647
00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:56,020
And I will beg him...
648
00:30:57,710 --> 00:30:59,390
to forgive me,
649
00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:02,810
then I will throw myself
at the mercy of science
650
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,190
in the hopes of being restored
to my regular size.
651
00:31:09,510 --> 00:31:12,280
-Did you say
30-day deadline?
652
00:31:14,180 --> 00:31:15,900
-That is what you heard?
-No.
653
00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:17,650
No, I heard, uh--
I heard it all.
654
00:31:17,690 --> 00:31:21,870
The folly, and the Les,
and the--uh, but what--
655
00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:22,990
-But?
-But...
656
00:31:23,030 --> 00:31:24,160
-But?
-But what the fuck
657
00:31:24,190 --> 00:31:25,750
is the 30-day deadline?
658
00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:27,330
-According to the contract,
659
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,540
Les has 30 days
to solve the formula
660
00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:33,670
or he's fired and the tech
reverts to Hilton.
661
00:31:33,700 --> 00:31:36,560
He has 22 days left.
662
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,680
-He only ever had 30 days?
663
00:31:41,710 --> 00:31:43,100
And now he only has...
664
00:31:43,130 --> 00:31:45,270
-Twenty-two.
-Oh, my God.
665
00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:47,480
-Oh, it's closer to 21,
actually.
666
00:31:48,550 --> 00:31:50,940
-Another fuckin' lie!
667
00:31:50,970 --> 00:31:53,060
-Oh, my golly.
Lindy: Right?
668
00:31:53,100 --> 00:31:54,690
Richard: No.
-Wait. Where are you going?
669
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,120
-I need space from you.
-Okay. But...
670
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,670
-I'm getting my own place.
671
00:32:03,730 --> 00:32:04,920
-[sighs]
672
00:32:05,900 --> 00:32:07,340
Fucking Les.
673
00:32:08,450 --> 00:32:10,840
He's gonna pay for this.
674
00:32:15,290 --> 00:32:16,250
[crowd cheering]
675
00:32:16,290 --> 00:32:17,460
Lindy [on recording]:
What kind of monster
676
00:32:17,490 --> 00:32:20,090
makes a horrible TikTok video
about their own mother?
677
00:32:20,130 --> 00:32:22,590
You are a spoiled child
and a lying liar.
678
00:32:22,630 --> 00:32:25,510
-Whoo, Mommy mad.
679
00:32:25,550 --> 00:32:27,520
If you thought
that was crazy,
680
00:32:27,550 --> 00:32:31,940
wait until you hear
DJ Todd's remix!
681
00:32:31,970 --> 00:32:34,410
[horn sounds]
[crowd cheers]
682
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,480
-Yo, mic drop. Mic drop!
683
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,280
crowd [chanting]:
Mic drop! Mic drop!
684
00:32:39,310 --> 00:32:41,030
[microphone squeals]
Lindy: ♪ Liar, liar, lie, liar ♪
685
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:42,490
♪ Liar, liar, lying liar, ♪
686
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,370
♪ Liar, lie, lie, liar ♪
687
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,120
♪ Monster, monster ♪
688
00:32:46,150 --> 00:32:47,450
♪ Liar, liar... ♪
-Mic Drop.
689
00:32:47,490 --> 00:32:50,870
-Hey, want a shot?
-Yeah. Okay.
690
00:32:50,910 --> 00:32:52,340
Lindy: ♪ Monster, monster ♪
691
00:32:52,540 --> 00:32:54,290
♪ What kind of monster ♪
692
00:32:54,330 --> 00:32:55,160
♪ Makes a horrible ♪
♪ TikTok video ♪
693
00:32:55,190 --> 00:32:56,550
♪ About their own mother? ♪
694
00:32:56,580 --> 00:32:57,800
♪ You are a spoiled child ♪
695
00:32:57,830 --> 00:32:59,170
♪ And a lying liar ♪
696
00:32:59,210 --> 00:33:00,850
♪ What kind of monster... ♪
697
00:33:02,330 --> 00:33:03,720
-Who are you?
698
00:33:03,750 --> 00:33:05,550
-What?
-Who are you?
699
00:33:05,590 --> 00:33:07,720
I don't recognize you.
700
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,640
-I'm St. Lulu DeLulu.
701
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,190
-You got half that right.
702
00:33:12,220 --> 00:33:13,310
Lulu: Hey, I read the book.
703
00:33:13,350 --> 00:33:15,980
How fuckin' Lindy was my move?
704
00:33:16,010 --> 00:33:19,030
-Very.
-See?
705
00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:20,530
-I think you missed the point.
706
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,250
-That was the point.
707
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,820
-Want another drink?
708
00:33:25,860 --> 00:33:28,160
-Sure, boss.
-Me too!
709
00:33:28,190 --> 00:33:30,660
-Pace yourself, DeLulu.
710
00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:33,720
[electronic music playing]
711
00:33:39,870 --> 00:33:41,260
-Can I fuckin' help you?
712
00:33:41,290 --> 00:33:43,090
-I don't want your help.
713
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,890
-Wow, judgment
from the shirtless wonder.
714
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,560
-She's your mom.
-She's a liar.
715
00:33:48,590 --> 00:33:50,430
-You'll regret it.
716
00:33:50,470 --> 00:33:52,230
-Fuck that.
717
00:33:52,260 --> 00:33:55,520
I am her literal regret.
718
00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:58,230
-Well, you sure are living up
to that title, aren't you?
719
00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:02,190
♪ Pull me places ♪
♪ To the end of the... ♪
720
00:34:02,230 --> 00:34:05,250
[muffled rock music playing]
721
00:34:10,740 --> 00:34:12,630
[door opens]
722
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,430
[knocks on door]
723
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,710
Mike: You good?
724
00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:23,260
-I'm peeing.
725
00:34:23,290 --> 00:34:25,310
Mike: You're scrolling.
726
00:34:26,790 --> 00:34:28,430
-Fuck off, Tarzan.
727
00:34:28,460 --> 00:34:30,430
-No one made you come here.
728
00:34:30,460 --> 00:34:32,390
-My bladder made me come here.
729
00:34:32,420 --> 00:34:34,060
-You think you're so clever.
730
00:34:34,090 --> 00:34:36,390
I know you came here tonight
to see me.
731
00:34:36,430 --> 00:34:39,530
-Yeah, says the guy who
followed me into the bathroom?
732
00:34:40,770 --> 00:34:43,120
-What if I did?
Does that frighten you?
733
00:34:44,190 --> 00:34:45,330
-A little.
734
00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:49,160
Did you buy that?
735
00:34:49,190 --> 00:34:51,000
-I kinda wanted to.
Is that bad?
736
00:34:52,860 --> 00:34:54,670
-Kind of.
737
00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:57,300
-But you kinda liked it.
738
00:34:58,450 --> 00:35:01,050
-You did.
You followed me in here.
739
00:35:02,620 --> 00:35:03,810
-Busted.
740
00:35:06,670 --> 00:35:10,430
[door opens, closes]
741
00:35:10,460 --> 00:35:11,810
Les: Lindy.
742
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:14,480
Lindy.
743
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,150
Guess who's getting
his big prize.
744
00:35:25,350 --> 00:35:27,030
Guess who's gonna open
a bottle
745
00:35:27,060 --> 00:35:30,000
of not-to-be-opened-never? Me.
746
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:35,040
Oh, it's--Richard.
747
00:35:35,070 --> 00:35:36,210
Richard?
748
00:35:36,580 --> 00:35:37,830
[suspenseful music playing]
749
00:35:37,860 --> 00:35:39,620
Dolores? Richard.
750
00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:42,500
Oh, God. Oh, God.
751
00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:43,960
Oh.
752
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,630
Is that blood?
753
00:35:45,660 --> 00:35:47,470
Whose blood?
754
00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:49,850
Oh, is that--
is that human flesh?
755
00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:52,100
God. Richard?
756
00:35:52,590 --> 00:35:53,730
Richard?
757
00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:56,810
Richard, I'm--I'm--I'm sorry.
758
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,140
I'm sorry. I--
759
00:35:59,180 --> 00:36:01,810
Richard, I was angry
and I was hurt
760
00:36:01,850 --> 00:36:04,370
and I thought a few pecks
would even the score.
761
00:36:06,060 --> 00:36:07,370
Richard?
762
00:36:09,850 --> 00:36:12,870
Richard, please.
763
00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:16,290
Please, Richard,
reveal yourself.
764
00:36:19,570 --> 00:36:21,710
Lind-- Lindy?
765
00:36:21,740 --> 00:36:23,720
[music continues]
766
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:35,400
Lindy? Lindy.
It's all a dream, all a dream.
767
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,080
Have I killed a man?
768
00:36:48,390 --> 00:36:49,950
A man of science, no less.
769
00:36:54,070 --> 00:36:57,090
[jazz music playing]
770
00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,870
-Are you Anonymous?
771
00:37:02,910 --> 00:37:05,140
-That is the only way
this works.
772
00:37:11,170 --> 00:37:12,310
-Okay.
773
00:37:13,790 --> 00:37:16,220
I'm not used to the whole
cloak-and-dagger routine.
774
00:37:16,250 --> 00:37:18,140
You know,
it's Scientific American.
775
00:37:18,170 --> 00:37:19,440
-Do you know who I am?
776
00:37:20,430 --> 00:37:23,950
-Yeah, you're...Anonymous.
777
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:26,060
-You passed.
778
00:37:26,100 --> 00:37:27,320
Drive.
779
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,700
-Hoo. [sniffles]
780
00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:41,960
[app trills then chimes]
781
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,920
-Richard.
-Janet.
782
00:37:44,950 --> 00:37:46,580
Janet: Happy New Year.
783
00:37:46,620 --> 00:37:48,460
-Happy New Year to you, too.
784
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,090
-Uh, what happened
to your head?
785
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:55,010
-Oh, I just--I had
an altercation with a bird.
786
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,140
-On the farm?
787
00:37:56,170 --> 00:37:57,600
-Yeah, something like that.
788
00:37:57,630 --> 00:37:58,600
So, listen.
789
00:37:58,630 --> 00:38:00,640
I just wanted to say
790
00:38:00,670 --> 00:38:02,770
thank you for the quill pen.
791
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,650
It, um, saved my life.
792
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,440
-Oh, well, the pen
is mightier than the sword.
793
00:38:08,470 --> 00:38:10,190
Richard: I can attest to that.
794
00:38:10,230 --> 00:38:11,610
Where are you?
795
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:15,030
-I'm at the lab,
in the creepy basement.
796
00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:19,000
Uh, here to reboot the,
uh, thermal energy tank.
797
00:38:20,150 --> 00:38:22,040
-You drew the short straw
again?
798
00:38:22,070 --> 00:38:23,450
-Uh-hmm.
799
00:38:23,490 --> 00:38:25,000
-Bob should've stepped up.
800
00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:27,380
-Oh, yeah. It's...
It's okay. I was, um--
801
00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:28,710
I was out anyway.
802
00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:31,050
-Ohh? You on a date?
803
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:32,380
-No, no.
804
00:38:32,410 --> 00:38:34,630
I was, um--
it was a work event.
805
00:38:34,670 --> 00:38:36,390
You wouldn't guess where.
806
00:38:37,210 --> 00:38:38,640
-Tell me everything.
807
00:38:38,670 --> 00:38:40,510
Janet:
It was at Hilton's mansion.
808
00:38:40,550 --> 00:38:41,850
He invited all of us,
809
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,570
me and the Bobs--
Well, not the Bobs so much.
810
00:38:55,940 --> 00:38:57,620
-[sighs]
811
00:39:00,610 --> 00:39:03,170
[suspenseful music playing]
812
00:39:24,670 --> 00:39:25,820
-[screams]
813
00:39:28,180 --> 00:39:30,530
[fire alarm beeping]
814
00:39:34,310 --> 00:39:37,320
-Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh. Oh.
815
00:39:37,350 --> 00:39:39,370
Oh, fuck. Oh. Oh.
816
00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:45,290
-Happy New Year, Les.
817
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,380
-Oh!
818
00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:58,180
[fire alarm stops]
-Where's Richard?!
819
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,970
-Who knows? Weren't you
the last one to see him?
820
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,350
How's the formula coming,
huh?
821
00:40:05,380 --> 00:40:06,850
What have you got,
22 days left?
822
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,190
Or is it technically 21 now?
823
00:40:09,220 --> 00:40:10,730
-Lindy...
824
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,780
Either way,
I bet you're so close.
825
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:18,570
Make that the epitaph
of my tiny headstone, fucker.
826
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:19,820
-I didn't wanna tell you
827
00:40:19,850 --> 00:40:20,990
'cause I didn't wanna
worry you.
828
00:40:21,020 --> 00:40:22,990
-And I'm not worried!
829
00:40:23,020 --> 00:40:24,660
I've accepted.
830
00:40:24,690 --> 00:40:26,580
You can't solve the formula.
831
00:40:26,610 --> 00:40:28,330
-I will solve the formula!
Lindy: Fuck you!
832
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,330
You lie even to yourself.
833
00:40:30,370 --> 00:40:34,380
[chuckles] I've made peace
with being six inches tall.
834
00:40:34,410 --> 00:40:36,170
I even kinda like it.
835
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,550
And I plan to make
the next 21 days of your life
836
00:40:39,580 --> 00:40:42,010
a living hell.
837
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,260
-What? Why?
838
00:40:43,290 --> 00:40:45,260
-Careful, sweetie.
839
00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:46,850
Your ass is on fire.
840
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:48,730
[fire alarm beeping]
841
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:54,990
[Lindy laughs]
842
00:40:57,980 --> 00:40:59,240
[fire alarm stops]
843
00:40:59,270 --> 00:41:00,860
-Oh, God.
844
00:41:00,900 --> 00:41:04,120
I've created a tiny monster.
845
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,420
Oh! Oh, no.
846
00:41:14,580 --> 00:41:16,510
The stars have claimed
one of their own.
847
00:41:20,750 --> 00:41:22,810
It's been an honor,
Space Colonel.
848
00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:25,440
[music continues]
849
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:35,980
[birds chirping]
[hawk screeches]
850
00:41:36,010 --> 00:41:37,820
-[grunts] Oh.
851
00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:43,910
What the fuck?
852
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:45,160
Where...
853
00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:46,570
where...
854
00:41:46,610 --> 00:41:49,580
-I'll see your tiny cat,
Dr. Littlejohn.
855
00:41:49,610 --> 00:41:50,660
-[gasping]
856
00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:52,380
Vivienne: And raise you a tiny,
857
00:41:53,610 --> 00:41:56,580
silenced reporter.
858
00:41:56,620 --> 00:41:58,010
[gasps]
859
00:41:58,450 --> 00:42:01,760
Ta-da.
860
00:42:01,790 --> 00:42:03,420
[rock music playing]
861
00:42:03,460 --> 00:42:06,810
[Nils screaming]
862
00:42:23,900 --> 00:42:26,330
♪ Let's dance ♪
863
00:42:32,490 --> 00:42:34,340
♪ Let's dance ♪
864
00:42:40,910 --> 00:42:43,710
♪ Let's dance ♪
865
00:42:43,750 --> 00:42:49,350
♪ Put on your red shoes ♪
♪ And dance the blues ♪
866
00:42:49,380 --> 00:42:51,470
♪ Let's dance ♪
867
00:42:51,510 --> 00:42:53,980
♪ To the song ♪
♪ They're playing ♪
868
00:42:54,010 --> 00:42:57,850
♪ On the radio ♪
869
00:42:57,890 --> 00:42:59,480
♪ Let's sway ♪
870
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:05,120
♪ While color lights up ♪
♪ Your face ♪
871
00:43:06,270 --> 00:43:08,820
♪ Let's sway ♪
872
00:43:08,860 --> 00:43:12,790
♪ Sway through the crowd ♪
♪ To an empty space ♪
873
00:43:14,860 --> 00:43:16,830
♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪
874
00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:18,920
♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪
875
00:43:18,950 --> 00:43:20,890
♪ Let's dance ♪
876
00:43:27,380 --> 00:43:28,890
♪ Let's dance ♪
59396
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