Original subtitles

"Vampire vs vampire"

When heavenly dog eats the moon,

during an eclipse evil prevails; Darkness reigns supreme

when the moon emerges, it's yin apogee

caught by moon beam, the spirits will wreak havoc

don't go in!

Don't be in my way!

Don't, it's dangerous inside!

We must get in

to show we have guts

master said we must cover up all light

so it won't shin at those jars

don't blame me

if master scolds you

don't grass on me,

I'll let you stand all over me

The moon is shining at those jars

why are you holding that jar?

If we could remove them,

we wouldn't have to cover them

you never follow your master's advice

no wonder he says

you're brainless

but I'm flexible

well, fix it yourself

don't try to excuse yourself

Use that blow taught by master

Come on

Bring one more

come on

Are you pissing or gassing? It stinks

not so bad as your bad odor

Fixed

sorry, I'm treading on you again

No wonder it's so dark

so that longevity lamp is burnt out

wait for me

hurry up

why is it still not on?

Turn it on quickly

Ho

Hold it

that jar's greatly affected by moonlight

what if it should come out?

Blast!

Don't scare me!

Hurry up!

My hand!

It's hurt!

Let me hold you first

it's turned over

The vampire is coming run!

Why is it empty?

Search quickly!

Don't let it get away! Stop it!

Stop it!

I know

Still trying to run?

Stop, stop!

Get hold of it!

Little vampire, not this way, that way

bad, it's too late!

Let me help its blood circulation

massage it, it has no blood

it's all right

You're crafty, bastard, let me beat you up

Don't go out, little vampire

how come this unexpected move?

No wonder my eyebrow twitched the whole night

What are you doing up there?

Silence doesn't mean peace

silence is gold, you taught us that

master, we've already done our best

when we went up, it was moonlighting

if you don't believe it,

ask fong

I don't know

I only saw ho playing with him

no, no, in fact he's the naughtier one

is that so?

I believe in all you said

but you all deserve punishment

He won't punish an apple polisher

they really are close like father and son

isn't that mushy?

No

It's sentimental

that's my strong suit

master

master, you've a chance to show your sympathy again

what?

Not my fault, fong said it

it's serious!

How come he has got in?

Is master in?

Yes

one eyebrow priest, it's serious...

Something must have happened

lift him up and get your weapons

chi lei-kan

Be nice and sit down

Scissors

wrapper

hammer

you've lost. Go now

now I'm hammering myself

It seems one tree has finished its practice

don't get close to the palm trees

He's my brother

any hope for him, master?

Take him out of here first

The female palm ghost won't transform without being lured

only boys could seduce her

which of you is a boy besides me?

First dress up

like a groom

and use a red rope to tie up the candle,

then light it

Throw one side of the red rope into the palm wood

the other side into the house

to tie his own toe

Remember to make the knot loose

Then make believe you're sleeping

shout loudly when she appears

it's killing!

Look!

Try something we've nothing but this

only a mirror left?

Did master teach you how to use it?

Yes, beam it at that female ghost

it's quite a feat

let me do it then

I won't trouble you change

no need

we're classmates

you don't want me to lose my virginity, don't you?

Are you a boy?

Look at me and you know I'm not yet developed

so I must sacrifice myself

for your sake

Bad, broken, how come?

Let's go

master, help!

Keep away!

So it's afraid of fire

help, master!

Bring the flames at once

Don't recite so loud, it's boring!

You've damaged master's coin sword

it means you've ruined lifelong happiness

why hide under the table?

Master's coming hide it at once!

This time the rewards are smaller

but I'll make a fair distribution

this is the public's, this is mine

keep these

for your future emigration to Guangzhou

isn't it fair without pay?

To be fair, we'll fix the swords for you

you must repay our favor

it will be fair if you get back

our share of pay for us

don't blame us for being unfair

better let little vampire

take the public money for tomatoes

that's most fair

you're quiet

making a silent revolution?

No such thing

I want to take part too

show us how to do it

done away so soon?

Village head, this village is surrounded by mountains

on the left, gold; Right, water

the front faces the crane

and, the back, the Jade

fung shui is good for wealth and progenies

but recently

mishaps are many

is there anything wrong with fung shui?

Fung means current let the air go around

current is running well

nothing wrong with fung

what about shui?

I'm here to study the water current

go then

it's heavy

it's terribly hot

you're too slow

master, we can't go fast with heavy burden

why are you walking so fast?

Are you refugees?

Cousin, are you tired?

A little

thirsty?

A little

let me bring you some water

cousin, watch out

put your things down and take a rest

these are for the village head and you all

they're working for the public, not for me

cousin, have a cake first

Go up to find the origin

give everything to him

Cousin, want any more?

A little

a little

take them all back

don't blame us

we're doing it for the public

what?

I'm doing it for my girlfriend only

Village head, fung controls population, shui controls money

no children without fung

and no money without water

the village's water tableau is first class

a dragon Pearl hole, the book says

down the ages, currents and erosion have

formed what's called dragon's Pearl

there's a saying: Pearl-like shapes, a rich family

see this Pearl and you'll find out

where's the position of that dragon's Pearl?

Should be here

it's not exactly Pearl-like

taoist priest, what does that mean?

It seems something's wrong with the water

All the water around here

tell the villagers not to drink the water here

where's the captain?

He went to the water origin

It means trouble

Why you taking so long?

Have you bathed or washed?

I'll be finished soon

Luckily it's shallow

climb up, the water's so dirty

let me help you

sorry, cousin

a snake

snake

a water snake, run quickly

bitten up

hurry up, cousin

cousin, are you all right?

Are you all right?

Why so many bats in water?

Taoist priest

there used to be none

try to find out

if there's a bat nest around

You're evil, you've torn off my skirt

I can't see from behind

why didn't you hide it?

Don't toy with it, please

what did you say, mother?

Don't tamper with it!

Hear me?

Don't you know him?

Never, he's a rat

don't make fun of me

who's it?

Could it be a high priest?

Don't attack from behind hands up

captain

help me up first

captain, I've made a discovery

speak up then

I've discovered...

You need not to say anything

burn up that foreign ancestral temple then

burn?

Burn it quickly

take that cross out for burning too

why are you burning my church?

My assistant discovered it to be a bat nest

my mission is to burn the bats

and this includes your ancestral temple

that's the logic, understand?

Bullshit, you can't call my church a bat nest

and you can't burn my church because of the bats

speak up

why? Tell me why

we live or die with the church

fire if you've the nerve

kill me first

my life belongs to god;

I'm ready to die for him

I went through a lot in rebuilding the church

I'm not determined to sacrifice

if you burn my church,

let's perish together

I've killed somebody?

All right?

You come at the right time

we're burning that foreign temple

why?

Why? Come here

captain

tell the priest what we discovered

I've discovered...

Go on

there are only 5 nuns here, not enough for us

only a misunderstanding, taoist priest

we need evidence don't talk nonsense

right

this gentleman is understanding

he's not muddle-headed like the others

auntie, would you show us around?

Yes, but some people are not welcome

you two are an eyesore

come here

let them search inside

we'll search in the vicinity

here we are

this way

everything can be seen

at a glance here

no bats can hide here

you mustn't go in

the meditation room,

I don't have the key

this lock's already rusty it can be broken open

no, this is holy ground

that's a sacrilege

I won't bother you then

let's go out then

hold it, fire!

Fire? Where?

Over there

bad, the fire how shall we put it out?

Thank you

Where's the fire?

You've put it out

so this is a kitchen

why are garlic hanging all over here?

To exorcise the ghosts?

Who's it?

Its clothing is same as in the photo?

Father kei? He's the ex-preacher

so you didn't give up the holy job

the missionary thought you deserted the post

so you've been acting as an exorcist

I'll explain to the missionary for you

father kei, may your soul rest in peace

There should still be a brother

over 10 years ago, 2 fathers came to run the missionary

father kei was assaulted by devils

the other father could have become a victim too

one without enough power can't be helped

are you so sure they were possessed?

Yes

I'm sure they fought too

look, the Bible's burnt, and the holy water split

garlic are hanging all over

it seems he lost to the devil,

and his life too

impossible had he been killed by the devil

how could we've been living in peace

all these years?

I think he must've won

how could he have killed himself?

Killed himself?

Here's the weapon for his suicide

hallelujah, take it away!

It's still stuck on my back take it away quickly!

I'm doing that

It's his hand

someone outside seems to be calling me

God, forgive him

please punish me

he didn't do it on purpose

Teach us to play

go now, village head, we've discovered nothing here

the new water origin is more important than anything else

master, why such hurry?

Run quickly

let's try again next time

why are you posting a note here?

The captain wants you to take note of the notice

mother, they want to burn our church

what should I do, mother?

Homeless, we have to sleep in the street

don't worry

I'll try to get some strong support

Village head, we can't possible find any water origin here

master, you really are superb

the 2 mountains are half li apart and the water and the water table is high

great! You could guess it

The water origin should be on the waist of the mountain pass

go up and try

Cousin, it's cooler under the tree

master

you did it again;

it really is on the waist

Here it is

one eyebrow priest

how's it?

I've found it

this mountain is the pipe

with endless flow of water

it's the right place for drilling a well

let's start work immediately then

it won't work till afternoon

go back to the family hall to eat first

you go first, I'll follow

okay

pack up first before eating

I can go now

wait for me

The coin sword is fixed,

but you haven't done the thing for us

don't just shake your head

if I should expose it

master might

chop you to pieces

go now

are you not going?

What's wrong again?

It's all right

bullying the little ones again?

No, master

he insists on helping us dig potatoes

right, let me make sweet soup for you to drink

would you get a share too?

Yes

go early and come back early then

master, let's go

we're only taking back

our reserve

thank you

still shaking your head?

Let's act while master is taking a bath

three shares?

No, one share each

yes, one share each

Master, I'm looking for potatoes

what are you up to?

How much money have they stolen?

What? You're one of them

don't go!

Don't go!

Don't teach others to steal

if you dare not do it yourself

remember,

buy food for tonight's meal

and buy me panties

without patterns

we're arriving soon

here it is

anybody in?

One eyebrow priest

why's there no response?

Just now I heard some voice

was it too gentle?

Let me, one eyebrow priest

behave, be Sincere

I told you not to raise your voice

be gentle

we must make it anyway

since he's avoiding us, let's look for him

one eyebrow priest

one eyebrow priest

are you out of your mind?

Behave

chick, where is one eyebrow priest?

Take me to see him

in fowl-run? I don't believe it

one eyebrow priest

may god bless them with wisdom

let's go in to find him

Mother, one eyebrow priest is in the fowl-run

nice to see you, priest

Halt! I'm performing magic

go quickly or you may ruin me

we're here to help you

keep away, the worms on earth may bite

so you're catching worms

right, these worms are poisoned

let me help you

what are you doing?

Help me catch the worms

don't! Too many cooks spoil the broth

don't worry, they catch worms regularly

I've seen it

you've seen everything?

I saw a sinner of god

are you preaching?

When I preach, you must listen

I won't

we don't speak the same language

tell it what's in your mind

a beast is guiltless, but you're worse

only the almighty god can guide you

he created earth

he created lives

and he split open the red sea

he made the lame walk and the blind see

the lord is ubiquitous

you must believe in his miracles

miracles?

If you can hatch chicks out of eggs, I'll believe you

mother, how?

When you sit down, everything's finished

he's trying to baffle you, mother

because you have no faith

right

quiet

god will arrange everything

let's pray together

It's horrible!

Don't worry

it's hairy

terrible, it's crawling out to scare children

mother, let's trample it to death

no, it's too cruel cut it into halves

boil it in a pot of hot water

forget it

it's bad, but as god's children

we should let it go

look!

Priest, you're in trouble

it's now too late for you to repent

don't you admit you're sinful?

Do you confess to your own fault?

Many have seen it,

you can't deny

impossible, only she has seen it

you're too self-confident!

Just now we all saw

chicks hatching from the egg

why were you shouting just now?

You would do the same

if it crawled on you

so you shouted because of the worms

well, embrace the faith with us

you've come at the right time

Bastard

why hasn't he appeared till now?

Why park here? Aren't you going home?

We haven't spent all our money yet

master's in trouble now

we'd better return

don't worry

why worry?

I caught sight of this place

so you're taking it for yours?

You've seen many girls too

are they all yours, idiot?

You've seen shit too

is it yours too?

Buddy, why don't you help?

Why should 1?

Idiot

let's go

you're rude

you'll be possessed tonight

Master

master, where are you?

Where have you been?

Master

master, are you toying with the bench again?

I have plenty of time to play along with you tonight

don't!

Master, I give up

but I won't

master

your turn

master, it's coming in

It really has followed us

we really are possessed now

you must've brought this from outside

unless you fix it now

that female ghost may possess you

or possess you

when I wake up tomorrow morning,

you'll become half-man, half-woman

when possessed, you can't tell the different between man and demon

master

well, I must sleep

master, don't be so cruel

cruel?

Aren't you cruel to have stolen my money?

What now?

Do you believe master is so ruthless?

It depends

let's take chances invite the ghost to possess us

Remember to shout loudly for master

Master, ho's possessed

he's pale and twitching

"With a sigh of pent-up frustration"

"in a strange land, having lost both parents”

"I'm as lonely as the single dragonfly"

"from end of earth to the other end, I wander"

"these tender feelings of mine"

"are meant for your attention"

Why are you smiling so happily?

Why not, with such good wine, music and girls

really? Let me try

don't forget to call master for me

master, fong is possessed

he's pale & twitching

don't! Let me go!

Don't!

Master, fong's pale and twitching

you play-acted well

let me bring master to keep order

Help, help!

My hand!

You cried aloud just to tell me that?

Show me the jar

take it easy have fun with master

little vampire, hurry up!

Master, here it is hold it

keep his blood in circulation

mind he may bite off his own tongue

Kid, you want to win a prize for that?

You've even fooled master

it's icy. What's wrong?

Don't bite the tongue don't!

Master, he really is possessed

nonsense

don't!

Not so hard

master, hurry up my finger's breaking

All right?

Yes

bring him a cup of hot tea

master, so she...

Don't leak it, don't ever tell anyone,

or you may be jinxed

you know her background best

find her a good body

so she may be reincarnated

nice tea

what instructions did master give you?

He encouraged me to go to a brothel to get some experience

to look for a whore?

He told me to go only, not you

him only, never

step hard on the pedal

I already did my best

I'm afraid

don't, I'm here

help me

captain, we seem to have unearthed some antiques

antiques?

Do it slowly I'll go over and see

antiques?

Only iron scraps!

Don't be idle hang me down slowly

hang the captain

here we are it's okay, stop

why is it so dark?

We're lucky

pull me up

And those things too

yes, captain

cousin, you could never tell,

I'm rich this time

I've found a Ruby

Ruby?

Where is it?

It's being pulled up

Captain, the position's moved why?

Let it down slowly

Captain, its eyes are green & red it decomposes but stays in shape

I suggest burning it,

or it may becomes a zombi

help, help!

Oh, god! You're clumsy

move the corpse to the rural committee quickly

the others go on with their work

what about that Ruby?

Don't worry

I'll use it for my wedding

here it is

go in

just ask them

the culprit is the pimp, the others are accomplices

take them all away

let me make the decision go away

you've been accused of coercion and killing

now I must check your girls

okay, you're welcome

young brother

I'm taking her in for a thorough probe

okay

I'm efficient, I'll check two at a time

yes, if you please

Be smart hand over the female body

and I'll forget everything

why didn't you say so? Take him to the back yard

yes

let's go

Let's get him

Keep away

bad!

Bite him, bun

bun

bun, don't go away

bun

Don't run

Where's the corpse?

Have you destroyed it?

Stop acting

did you destroy it? Speak up

where are you hiding up? Speak up

did he tell you about its whereabouts?

He's passed out

now I must help myself

harder

it's dark move that corpse out

okay

Hurry, harder

okay

captain, the fuel is ready

we're only waiting for you and that dried corpse

wait, wait

our dreams are shattered

don't expect me to marry you

not yet, let me saw it

too close, damn!

Hammer it

it may get tighter

hoe it

it'll go deeper

tear it

remove the teeth?

What now? Hurry up

captain

captain, need any help?

Wait, my cousin and I are busy

is it useful?

Is this chain useful?

Is your brain useful?

Throw it away then

it won't drop out

hold it hard

don't stare at me

you did it so hard when you caressed me

come on, harder

please pull it out

pull it out quickly

not so loud! Shut up!

Sorry, I'm cursing them only

He's for hell who else?

You, of course

move the corpse out now

no idea

help move it out

we don't need you for such heavy work

it's heavy, very heavy!

It's light you're good for nothing

keep calm, we'll fix it

You've dropped your glasses

idiot

put them on

they're not mine

image designing

hurry up

don't look, or it may turn your stomach

I feel like nauseating when I think of it now

are you going to vomit?

Take it away and burn it quickly

let me have a look first

what for?

It's full of sound and fury

I have no firecrackers here

this gun can serve the purpose

one shot brings vast fortune

when we digging the well,

we were unlucky digging out a corpse

but we're lucky

to have the priest here

you're smart!

Thank you

hope the fire

will bring us luck

light it at once

Taoist priest, what have you seen?

That corpse

don't forget to dump the ashes into the sea

I won't forget,

I'll do it fully

don't worry when I'm in charge

village head, thank you all for the trouble

captain, I think you've suffered most

thank you

ladies and gentlemen,

supper will be on the company

company expense

I'll go in to make a report don't interrupt me

cousin

well?

It works

We're lucky!

It keeps staring at me I'm scared

get something to cover it up

cover it up

damn ghost, you're ugly

cousin, we can go slow now

with no one watching us

okay

it's still attached

Hurry up, will you?

You're fast on that thing only

fixed, I've fixed it once and for all

Are you all right?

You're bleeding

don't drop your head, raise it

I'll go and get something to stop the bleeding

be careful

head - tail

I've won again

help the captain stop the bleeding

take care on the journey

We're lucky!

Take care of the premises

You scare me!

Mother, have you heard it?

A strange sound outside

it's horrible!

Yes

I'm scared!

I'm scared!

Don't, you're scaring me too

What are you doing,

pacing up and down?

I have abdominal pain

come back first

You're all cowards

let me go out and see

I'd better follow mother

mother, wait for us

my stomach

mother, wait for me

Only a false alarm, it was the wind

So there really are bats in the church

the captain may burn the church if he sees them

what then?

Don't look around

we must go back safely

go when I shout. Ready

Run now

Shoo! Shoo!

Go now

shoo! Shoo!

Go now

hold the gate first

come and lend a hand

some more over there

beat it at once

It's so horrible!

Mother

what sound is that?

What's it?

Take off your shoes to plug that hole

some more over here

mother

we can't beat those bats

don't worry they're small, they can't hurt us

Don't worry sit down and hold this gate

I may piss!

What a nuisance keep away

hold that gate, don't relax

Don't pray hold the gate closely

Go into hiding we can't hold it here

hide under the coffin at once

don't come out

Miss, I did my best

but can't find your corpse

don't entangle me, please

at worst I'll give you 3 meals

till you find your body

that's no solution

have you a solution then?

Sure

bury that jar and the souls on earth

what do you say?

We can't let it out

It may hurt my two pupils

master, we really did our best

yes, we combed the whole village but can't find it

take the lantern then

Follow that lantern

it will lead us to that woman's body

where are you going?

Go in, but don't move around

It's all right

Over there

Master, look!

The body's intact bring it back

Master

my shoes?

Master, the corpse has been found intact?

Master, you're fantastic!

Like master, like disciple

what are you doing?

Hold it

Put the corpse down properly

Master, are you all right?

Hold it for a while

Hurry up

Master, it's coming up!

Run quickly

Take that corpse away

How could it be here?

Run quickly!

Ho, are you all right?

I must hold on get over by stepping on my back

your back? I'm not used to that

hurry up! I can't hold on!

It's coming up! Cross the bridge quickly

master

hurry up

run!

Run quickly!

Careful

mind that corpse!

Let go

let go

master

Not my fault only a misunderstanding

It's scaring!

Let's get out of here at once

Master

how come there are so many bats?

You've got the wrong corpse

go and bring it back

well, I'll go then

master

go back and bury that corpse

I'll go and see the captain

Master, you've come at the right time it has revived

I know where's the captain?

He's brewing medicine inside

raise vigilance

Cousin, get up and take the medicine it's a sedative

it will cure your palpitation

I'll cool it if it's hot

Bad

one scare gets cold hands

one bite could take your life

luckily you were not bitten

after drinking, you'll sweat & get well

Let go you dare to manhandle cousin?

But she has become a vampire

nonsense

catching my cousin because you've time?

I'll show you if you don't believe it

It shows only you're a sex fiend

well, be a vampire then

Woman? Over there?

Why are you crouching?

I was bitten by flying bats

in the church

go with me to rescue them

let me put on my trousers

wait till master returns

how many bats are there?

How could we count them?

You can't possibly count them

they're all over the sky

incredibly many!

You've come to the right party

how are you going to repay us if we fix it for you?

Dreaming in broad daylight

what are you talking about? Go now

Come in and help me

where are you going?

Go

Keep calm and be quiet

let me see what's up

I told you to keep quiet!

Hush!

Hurry up

impossible, lots of bats here

and mother was attacked by them

there really is none here now

go in and look around

Better drive them away

they'll fly back in time

we can come regularly

no way

hurry up

mother, mother

go now

don't go out there are lots of bats outside

use fire!

Be a roast bat

Now I really get burned toying with fire

go up to the roof you're damn slow

don't go, he's afraid of light

help them first

Pull at me

come up

no need to come up

keep calm, I'm here

I'm your light, I'll help you

you'll be all right following me

he's in trouble. Go up

go up

have faith in me

let me show you if you don't believe

come, come

isn't that right? I already said...

He's in trouble again

you'll be in trouble if you don't hurry

Let me lure them away

when I shout, you take them away

shout louder

Okay, he really shouts loud let's go

it seems he's not shouting for us

let me go down and see

What now, master?

I want to get that foreign fish dried

do you want to help?

No, thanks

It's safe here come down quickly

It's not safe here go up quickly

They're here come here

Keep away, it's dangerous here!

Too many hands make a mess

he's coming again go now

Mother, are you all right?

He's been sunk

again! Blast!