All language subtitles for The Goldbergs (2013) 5x05 - Jackie Likes Star Trek (English)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,132 --> 00:00:01,279 Ah, Nerd love. 2 00:00:01,503 --> 00:00:03,270 The beautiful union of comic book junkies 3 00:00:03,445 --> 00:00:04,908 with the same pop culture interests. 4 00:00:05,148 --> 00:00:06,803 Back in the '80s, before the Internet, 5 00:00:07,255 --> 00:00:10,023 it was impossible to find your geeky soulmate. 6 00:00:10,058 --> 00:00:12,458 But, by sheer fate, I met Jackie Geary, 7 00:00:12,494 --> 00:00:15,495 and, man, was the force of nerd love strong with us. 8 00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:17,597 I can't believe you made me a Beaker from the Muppets! 9 00:00:17,632 --> 00:00:18,698 You so get me! 10 00:00:21,536 --> 00:00:23,269 She really did get me. 11 00:00:23,304 --> 00:00:25,672 We all loved the same marshmallow-based movies. 12 00:00:25,707 --> 00:00:28,307 We both wore geeky T-shirts. 13 00:00:28,343 --> 00:00:30,710 And we were even the only two kids in class 14 00:00:30,745 --> 00:00:34,047 to spend our allowance on a modem. 15 00:00:34,082 --> 00:00:37,617 It was pure, awkward nerd love, and I was in deep. 16 00:00:37,652 --> 00:00:39,218 When Jackie kissed me, 17 00:00:39,254 --> 00:00:41,788 I lost all sense of space, time, and words. 18 00:00:41,823 --> 00:00:43,289 Mo! 19 00:00:43,324 --> 00:00:44,457 Yes! 20 00:00:44,492 --> 00:00:45,558 Ed McMahon! 21 00:00:45,593 --> 00:00:46,926 You are correct, sir! 22 00:00:46,961 --> 00:00:48,528 And then it all came crashing down. 23 00:00:48,563 --> 00:00:51,531 Boom! Halloween just got awesome. 24 00:00:51,566 --> 00:00:53,966 We're gonna be the universe's greatest power couple, 25 00:00:54,002 --> 00:00:56,502 Han Solo and Princess Leia. 26 00:00:56,538 --> 00:00:57,937 "Star Wars." 27 00:00:57,972 --> 00:00:59,806 Um, polite pass. 28 00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:00,907 Wait, you don't like "Star Wars"? 29 00:01:00,942 --> 00:01:02,008 How do you not like "Star Wars"? 30 00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:02,975 Everyone likes "Star Wars." 31 00:01:03,011 --> 00:01:04,977 Well, sure, I enjoy lighter fare 32 00:01:05,013 --> 00:01:06,879 just as much as the next girl. 33 00:01:06,915 --> 00:01:08,581 It's about the "Dark Side"! 34 00:01:08,616 --> 00:01:10,283 How can it be lighter fare? 35 00:01:10,318 --> 00:01:12,618 In the last movie, there were walking teddy bears. 36 00:01:12,654 --> 00:01:13,686 They're Ewoks! 37 00:01:13,722 --> 00:01:15,188 And they helped defeat the damn Empire! 38 00:01:15,223 --> 00:01:16,489 No, no. 39 00:01:16,524 --> 00:01:17,690 Let's not yell. 40 00:01:17,726 --> 00:01:19,058 We're just calmly debating. 41 00:01:19,094 --> 00:01:20,159 The truth was out. 42 00:01:20,195 --> 00:01:22,361 Jackie liked stupid "Star Trek"! 43 00:01:22,397 --> 00:01:23,963 Actually, there is no debate. 44 00:01:23,998 --> 00:01:25,798 "Trek" is better because it's about 45 00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:27,900 humanity's quest for knowledge and peace. 46 00:01:27,936 --> 00:01:30,336 A quest for peace in the stars means no wars, 47 00:01:30,371 --> 00:01:32,705 which means the entire point of "Star Trek" 48 00:01:32,741 --> 00:01:34,540 is to eliminate "Star Wars"! 49 00:01:34,576 --> 00:01:35,508 No, no! 50 00:01:35,543 --> 00:01:36,576 We're just talking! 51 00:01:36,611 --> 00:01:38,044 I'm not super angry at all! 52 00:01:38,079 --> 00:01:39,946 This is our first costume as a couple. 53 00:01:39,981 --> 00:01:41,180 It's a very big statement, 54 00:01:41,216 --> 00:01:43,750 which is why I should be Uhura and you should be Spock. 55 00:01:43,785 --> 00:01:45,952 You want me to go out in public 56 00:01:45,987 --> 00:01:48,421 with a bowl cut and pointy elf ears? 57 00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:49,655 No, no. 58 00:01:49,691 --> 00:01:51,090 We're in love. 59 00:01:51,126 --> 00:01:53,326 Which is why we should get an independent third party 60 00:01:53,361 --> 00:01:54,494 with no skin in the game. 61 00:01:54,529 --> 00:01:56,829 Father? Which do you like best? 62 00:01:56,865 --> 00:01:58,698 "Star Wars" or "Star Trek"? 63 00:01:58,733 --> 00:01:59,832 Which is the one with the purple fish? 64 00:01:59,868 --> 00:02:01,200 Neither of them have purple fish. 65 00:02:01,236 --> 00:02:03,202 "Star Wars" has got the guy with the little feet, right? 66 00:02:03,238 --> 00:02:04,971 I have no idea who you're talking about! 67 00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:06,572 - Do you mean Yoda? - No... 68 00:02:06,608 --> 00:02:07,707 - Hammerhead? - No... 69 00:02:07,742 --> 00:02:08,975 - Jawas? - No! 70 00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:11,110 I'm talking about the one guy with the weird head. 71 00:02:11,146 --> 00:02:12,745 - You mean Jabba the Hutt? - No. 72 00:02:12,781 --> 00:02:13,846 - Greedo? - No. 73 00:02:13,882 --> 00:02:15,014 - Admiral Ackbar? - No. 74 00:02:15,049 --> 00:02:15,948 Aunt Beru? 75 00:02:15,984 --> 00:02:16,849 Aunt Beru?! 76 00:02:16,885 --> 00:02:17,750 Gah! 77 00:02:17,786 --> 00:02:19,051 I can't do this right now! 78 00:02:19,087 --> 00:02:21,754 Jackie and I have major problems to deal with. 79 00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:23,990 And that is how you get out of 80 00:02:24,025 --> 00:02:26,025 a ridiculous conversation. 81 00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,693 ? I'm twisted up inside ? 82 00:02:27,729 --> 00:02:31,063 ? But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ? 83 00:02:31,099 --> 00:02:33,566 Synced and Corrected by YesCool www.addic7ed.com 84 00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:34,934 ? I don't know the future ? 85 00:02:34,969 --> 00:02:39,505 ? But the past keeps getting clearer every day ? 86 00:02:39,541 --> 00:02:41,207 It was Halloween, 1980-something, 87 00:02:41,242 --> 00:02:42,508 and my brother was conjuring 88 00:02:42,544 --> 00:02:44,143 the restless spirts of the dead, 89 00:02:44,179 --> 00:02:45,878 with a toy he bought for 7 bucks. 90 00:02:45,914 --> 00:02:49,582 - J-T-P. - J.T.P. 91 00:02:49,617 --> 00:02:51,017 - Dude, you're pushing it. - No, you're pushing it. 92 00:02:51,052 --> 00:02:52,084 You're all pushing it! 93 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,187 What if... nobody's pushing it? 94 00:02:54,222 --> 00:02:55,755 Whoaaaaa. 95 00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:57,456 I'll go first. 96 00:02:57,492 --> 00:02:59,358 Oh, mystical Ouija. 97 00:02:59,394 --> 00:03:01,894 Will there ever be more lenient laws on public nudity? 98 00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:03,796 Please say yes. Come on! 99 00:03:03,832 --> 00:03:05,798 - Yes! Naked Rob wins! - I got one. 100 00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:08,201 Will I still hit that senior-year growth spurt 101 00:03:08,236 --> 00:03:09,602 my mother promised me? 102 00:03:11,239 --> 00:03:12,438 My mother lied! 103 00:03:12,473 --> 00:03:13,606 My turn! 104 00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:16,742 Dear Mr. Ouija, I know me and Lainey broke up, 105 00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:17,977 but does she still love me 106 00:03:18,012 --> 00:03:19,812 with every fiber of her slammin' bod? 107 00:03:19,848 --> 00:03:21,247 - Dude! - Forget Lainey. 108 00:03:21,282 --> 00:03:22,181 I can't help it! 109 00:03:22,217 --> 00:03:24,050 She's visiting Erica this weekend. 110 00:03:24,085 --> 00:03:26,085 It's like every time I close my eyes, 111 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,721 I smell her Debbie Gibson "Electric Youth" perfume. 112 00:03:28,756 --> 00:03:29,655 That's just me. 113 00:03:29,691 --> 00:03:30,723 What? It's unisex. 114 00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:32,491 Let the Ouija answer! 115 00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:34,894 Does Lainey want me back?! 116 00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:36,996 Now, gently rest your fingers 117 00:03:37,031 --> 00:03:38,431 upon the plastic pointer thingy. 118 00:03:40,268 --> 00:03:42,902 Oh, no, my life is worthless! 119 00:03:42,937 --> 00:03:46,138 But, will Barry instead marry Alyssa Milano 120 00:03:46,174 --> 00:03:48,674 and have three kids and six jet skis? 121 00:03:49,844 --> 00:03:51,410 Interesting. 122 00:03:51,446 --> 00:03:54,447 Okay, next question, Mr. Ouija. 123 00:03:54,482 --> 00:03:57,049 Will I be a multi-platinum rap sensation 124 00:03:57,085 --> 00:03:59,652 and own my own brand of diet soft drinks? 125 00:03:59,687 --> 00:04:01,654 - Come on. - Get over here. 126 00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:03,289 You see? It is you guys moving it! 127 00:04:03,324 --> 00:04:05,224 Dude, when you ended things with Lainey, 128 00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:07,260 you both promised to give each other space. 129 00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:08,928 - We just want to see you happy. - You're right. 130 00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:10,830 No more calling Lainey. 131 00:04:10,865 --> 00:04:13,833 On an unrelated note, Geoff, what's my sister's number? 132 00:04:14,669 --> 00:04:15,801 Hello? 133 00:04:15,837 --> 00:04:17,436 Just making my weekly phone call 134 00:04:17,472 --> 00:04:19,305 to make sure our bond is still strong. 135 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:21,874 You have never once called me before this very moment. 136 00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:23,676 The last words you said to me were, 137 00:04:23,711 --> 00:04:25,544 "Your bedroom is now my fart closet." 138 00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:27,780 That does sound like me. 139 00:04:27,815 --> 00:04:30,016 Anywho, how's it going? Having fun? 140 00:04:30,051 --> 00:04:31,050 Learning stuff? 141 00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:32,318 Are you near Lainey? 142 00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:33,853 And I don't care about you! 143 00:04:33,888 --> 00:04:35,254 Put her on the phone! 144 00:04:35,290 --> 00:04:36,489 Dude, no. 145 00:04:36,524 --> 00:04:37,957 I'm gonna do what's best for both of you right now 146 00:04:37,992 --> 00:04:39,659 and hang up. 147 00:04:39,694 --> 00:04:41,727 Please, Lainey, come back! 148 00:04:41,763 --> 00:04:43,029 Dude, he is obsessed. 149 00:04:43,064 --> 00:04:45,498 So emotionally out of control. 150 00:04:45,533 --> 00:04:48,334 - Gosh, I miss that cute, shouty, red face. - Stop. 151 00:04:48,369 --> 00:04:50,836 You both agreed that radio silence was for the best. 152 00:04:50,872 --> 00:04:51,904 I guess. 153 00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:53,372 It's just so much harder than I thought. 154 00:04:53,408 --> 00:04:54,707 Well, tonight's Halloween party 155 00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:56,042 is the biggest rager of the year. 156 00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:57,076 Forget my lame brother. 157 00:04:57,111 --> 00:04:58,878 You're right. I'm gonna go get my costume. 158 00:04:58,913 --> 00:04:59,879 Let's Barry. 159 00:05:00,715 --> 00:05:02,848 I mean party. Ugh! 160 00:05:04,085 --> 00:05:05,885 Pops, thank God you're here! 161 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,554 There's a major crisis between me and Jackie. 162 00:05:08,589 --> 00:05:10,323 Only my love guru can help. 163 00:05:10,358 --> 00:05:13,159 This is why I sit here waiting all day. 164 00:05:13,194 --> 00:05:14,660 Lay it on me, kiddo. 165 00:05:14,696 --> 00:05:16,162 Hang on to your hat. 166 00:05:16,197 --> 00:05:18,798 Turns out, Jackie likes "Star Trek" 167 00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,366 more than "Star Wars." 168 00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:21,467 What do I do? 169 00:05:21,502 --> 00:05:23,135 - About what? - It's a fact. 170 00:05:23,171 --> 00:05:25,771 Force Freaks and Trekkies never get along. 171 00:05:25,807 --> 00:05:27,039 We're sworn enemies. 172 00:05:27,075 --> 00:05:30,142 Okay, here's what you do. 173 00:05:30,178 --> 00:05:33,145 - Nothing. 'Cause it's all dumb. - Dumb?! 174 00:05:33,181 --> 00:05:34,547 If I date a Trekkie, 175 00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:37,216 I lose all my street cred with my boys! 176 00:05:37,251 --> 00:05:39,151 And just where is this street, 177 00:05:39,187 --> 00:05:40,553 and who are these boys? 178 00:05:40,588 --> 00:05:42,054 Me and Jackie are doomed. 179 00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:44,357 There's no saving this relationship. 180 00:05:44,392 --> 00:05:45,191 Pardon me. 181 00:05:45,226 --> 00:05:46,425 I couldn't help but overhear 182 00:05:46,461 --> 00:05:48,427 through the vent in the upstairs bathroom. 183 00:05:48,463 --> 00:05:51,497 Schmoo, if you want relationship advice, 184 00:05:51,532 --> 00:05:52,631 just look at me and your dad. 185 00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:55,401 We've been making it work for 25 years. 186 00:05:55,436 --> 00:05:56,569 Makin' it work! 187 00:05:56,604 --> 00:05:57,636 Sure, we bicker. 188 00:05:57,672 --> 00:05:59,939 But in the end, we always compromise. 189 00:05:59,974 --> 00:06:00,873 Right you are! 190 00:06:00,908 --> 00:06:02,375 There's no reason you can't do that 191 00:06:02,410 --> 00:06:03,876 with your space movies, right, Mur? 192 00:06:03,911 --> 00:06:05,144 When you're right, you're right, Bevy. 193 00:06:05,179 --> 00:06:06,512 He's a lug, 194 00:06:06,547 --> 00:06:07,646 but I love him. 195 00:06:07,682 --> 00:06:09,081 Lady loves a lug. 196 00:06:10,852 --> 00:06:11,917 Smack-diggity! 197 00:06:15,656 --> 00:06:17,289 Don't do a damn thing she said. 198 00:06:17,325 --> 00:06:18,357 Uh, what? But, I... 199 00:06:18,393 --> 00:06:19,859 Shut up, shut up! Listen to me. 200 00:06:19,894 --> 00:06:22,194 In any healthy relationship, there is no compromise. 201 00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:24,130 - So what is there? - Total defeat. 202 00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:25,097 Your only choice? 203 00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:26,532 - Become a shell of a man. - What? 204 00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:28,367 That sounds like a horrible way to live. 205 00:06:28,403 --> 00:06:29,602 It is, but it works. 206 00:06:29,637 --> 00:06:32,038 It keeps your mom and I chugging along. 207 00:06:32,073 --> 00:06:33,139 And that's what I want with Jackie. 208 00:06:33,174 --> 00:06:34,240 To chug forever. 209 00:06:34,275 --> 00:06:37,209 Then meet me in your room in five minutes. 210 00:06:37,245 --> 00:06:38,377 - Can't we just... - No! 211 00:06:38,413 --> 00:06:39,812 It's not safe here! 212 00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:42,782 It's not safe. 213 00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:44,483 While my dad was acting spooky, 214 00:06:44,519 --> 00:06:47,053 Barry was feeling haunted by his own lost love. 215 00:06:52,794 --> 00:06:55,494 Hello? Someone there? 216 00:07:01,702 --> 00:07:02,601 Lainey?! 217 00:07:04,439 --> 00:07:05,638 I'm telling you! 218 00:07:05,673 --> 00:07:09,375 I saw her clear as day in the Wawa. 219 00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:10,910 Dude, there's no way it was Lainey. 220 00:07:10,945 --> 00:07:12,011 She's with Erica, remember? 221 00:07:12,046 --> 00:07:13,179 Which is why 222 00:07:13,214 --> 00:07:15,081 there's only one other logical explanation... 223 00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:16,782 I'm being haunted by the blonde spirit 224 00:07:16,818 --> 00:07:18,050 of my broken relationship. 225 00:07:18,086 --> 00:07:19,318 This is our fault. 226 00:07:19,353 --> 00:07:21,087 We tried to used the Ouija to get you over Lainey, 227 00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,721 but instead, we just got her into your head. 228 00:07:22,757 --> 00:07:23,722 No, Matthew. 229 00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:25,925 You think it was all a game, 230 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,893 but much like the horror masterpiece "Witchboard," 231 00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:29,562 you've opened a portal to the other side. 232 00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,766 Run home. 233 00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,468 Run home! 234 00:07:35,503 --> 00:07:36,869 There are ghosts everywhere! 235 00:07:36,904 --> 00:07:38,404 Enough, man! 236 00:07:38,439 --> 00:07:40,539 We were pushing around a tiny plastic triangle 237 00:07:40,575 --> 00:07:41,674 I bought at a toy store. 238 00:07:41,709 --> 00:07:43,542 Which is exactly how "Witchboard" started. 239 00:07:43,578 --> 00:07:45,478 - Oh, no! - Dude, don't encourage him! 240 00:07:47,115 --> 00:07:48,447 When will you learn?! 241 00:07:48,483 --> 00:07:50,316 None of you are safe! 242 00:07:50,351 --> 00:07:51,417 Look at me, bro. 243 00:07:51,452 --> 00:07:54,286 There is no ghost of Lainey. 244 00:07:57,391 --> 00:07:58,424 We need to talk. 245 00:07:58,459 --> 00:08:00,392 Aah! It's a sexy ghost! 246 00:08:02,196 --> 00:08:03,896 As my brother came face to face with his past, 247 00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:07,800 my dad was gonna help me secure my future with Jackie. 248 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,136 Son, today, I'm gonna pass on to you 249 00:08:10,171 --> 00:08:11,604 my greatest legacy... 250 00:08:11,639 --> 00:08:13,405 How to be a shell of a man. 251 00:08:13,441 --> 00:08:14,640 Your legacy seems sad. 252 00:08:14,675 --> 00:08:16,175 - This is all I've got. - Totally fair. 253 00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:17,910 Lesson one, the think 'n' nod. 254 00:08:17,945 --> 00:08:20,079 When your woman's asking you your opinion, 255 00:08:20,114 --> 00:08:22,081 you act like you're thinking about it, 256 00:08:22,116 --> 00:08:23,482 and then you nod in agreement. 257 00:08:23,518 --> 00:08:25,618 But if my answer is always a dumb nod, 258 00:08:25,653 --> 00:08:26,819 won't Jackie catch on? 259 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:27,987 You'd think so. 260 00:08:28,022 --> 00:08:29,922 But deep down, they don't want our opinions. 261 00:08:29,957 --> 00:08:32,558 - But I... - Lesson two, the smile and echo. 262 00:08:32,593 --> 00:08:34,593 Whenever your girl is jabbering on, 263 00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:35,961 you smile at her 264 00:08:35,997 --> 00:08:38,397 and then you echo the last thing she says to you. 265 00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:39,865 That can't possibly work. 266 00:08:39,901 --> 00:08:41,033 Bevy, what was that thing 267 00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:42,801 you wanted me to do with the thing?! 268 00:08:42,837 --> 00:08:44,170 You mean shopping for towels? 269 00:08:44,205 --> 00:08:46,038 Yeah, shopping for towels. 270 00:08:46,073 --> 00:08:46,906 Don't you worry. 271 00:08:46,941 --> 00:08:48,707 I just picked up this adorable set 272 00:08:48,743 --> 00:08:49,775 from the clearance bin. 273 00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:51,076 Don't you love them? 274 00:08:51,112 --> 00:08:52,344 I love them! 275 00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:53,279 And I love you. 276 00:08:53,314 --> 00:08:55,181 In fact, I'm gonna go make you 277 00:08:55,216 --> 00:08:57,683 that butterscotch pudding you like so much. 278 00:08:58,886 --> 00:08:59,852 See? 279 00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,020 I like getting along. 280 00:09:01,055 --> 00:09:02,087 I gotta take some notes! 281 00:09:02,123 --> 00:09:03,923 No, no! There can't be a paper trail! 282 00:09:03,958 --> 00:09:05,724 Don't worry, I'll write it in code. 283 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,393 Question. 284 00:09:07,428 --> 00:09:09,962 Isn't it soul crushing to never share your opinions? 285 00:09:09,997 --> 00:09:11,063 Sure. 286 00:09:11,098 --> 00:09:12,698 But that brings us to our final lesson, 287 00:09:12,733 --> 00:09:14,433 - the tampening. - The tampening? 288 00:09:14,468 --> 00:09:16,535 You tamp down all the rage and fury 289 00:09:16,571 --> 00:09:18,037 deep into your body like this. 290 00:09:18,072 --> 00:09:19,071 Watch. 291 00:09:23,811 --> 00:09:24,944 That can't be good for you. 292 00:09:24,979 --> 00:09:25,945 But the pudding helps. 293 00:09:26,614 --> 00:09:28,447 Armed with my dad's shameful legacy, 294 00:09:28,482 --> 00:09:31,217 I decided to put his love tips to the test. 295 00:09:31,252 --> 00:09:33,552 Hey. There she is. 296 00:09:33,588 --> 00:09:34,853 Jackie! 297 00:09:34,889 --> 00:09:36,188 Crackerjack! 298 00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:37,389 Jack-o-lantern! 299 00:09:37,425 --> 00:09:39,024 Halloween! 300 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:41,493 Hey, I know that we left things off 301 00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:42,695 on a weird note. 302 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,230 Nah... We're good. 303 00:09:44,265 --> 00:09:46,432 I was ready to finally become a man. 304 00:09:46,467 --> 00:09:48,234 By becoming a shell of one. 305 00:09:48,269 --> 00:09:52,938 Actually, I've come around on the "Star Trek" thing. 306 00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:53,806 Wait, really? 307 00:09:53,841 --> 00:09:55,307 You're gonna be my Spock? 308 00:09:55,343 --> 00:09:57,343 And so, I hit Jackie with each and every one 309 00:09:57,378 --> 00:09:59,478 of my dad's relationship techniques. 310 00:09:59,513 --> 00:10:00,713 I nodded... 311 00:10:00,748 --> 00:10:02,348 - I'll... I'll be your Spock. - Oh, my God! 312 00:10:02,383 --> 00:10:03,882 You're, like, the best boyfriend ever. 313 00:10:03,918 --> 00:10:06,218 - ...and I echoed. - I am, like, the best boyfriend ever. 314 00:10:06,254 --> 00:10:07,486 and finally... 315 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:10,222 I rented "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home." 316 00:10:10,258 --> 00:10:11,390 Should we watch it? 317 00:10:11,425 --> 00:10:13,392 Mm... 318 00:10:13,427 --> 00:10:15,427 ...And I tampened like I'd never tampened before. 319 00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:16,629 Come on. 320 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,334 Yeah. I will watch your thing. 321 00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:24,603 That day, I made my dad a proud man. 322 00:10:24,639 --> 00:10:26,205 Okay. 323 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,540 - And that's why I became a father. - Really? 324 00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:29,708 You became a dad 325 00:10:29,744 --> 00:10:31,910 so you could teach your son to be a jackass? 326 00:10:31,946 --> 00:10:33,946 Hey! There she is! 327 00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,214 Stop it! 328 00:10:35,249 --> 00:10:37,082 How could you teach him all these terrible tricks? 329 00:10:37,118 --> 00:10:38,150 What tricks? 330 00:10:38,185 --> 00:10:40,786 The think 'n' nod? The smile and echo? 331 00:10:40,821 --> 00:10:41,854 How'd you learn about those tricks? 332 00:10:41,889 --> 00:10:43,155 Adam wrote 'em down! 333 00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:44,723 You cracked Adam's code? 334 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,058 You mean just not using vowels? 335 00:10:46,093 --> 00:10:46,992 Yes. 336 00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:48,260 How could you teach our son 337 00:10:48,296 --> 00:10:50,229 that that's how our relationship works? 338 00:10:50,264 --> 00:10:52,131 Because that is how it works. 339 00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:55,467 You don't want my opinions about how ugly your towels are. 340 00:10:55,503 --> 00:10:56,502 You hate my towels? 341 00:10:56,537 --> 00:10:58,437 Those towels are soft and beautiful. 342 00:10:58,472 --> 00:11:00,506 Mm, those towels are soft and beautiful. 343 00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:01,674 Well, thank you. I mean, that's... 344 00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:03,375 Oh, oh, gah! Stop it! 345 00:11:03,411 --> 00:11:04,310 All right, listen to me. 346 00:11:04,345 --> 00:11:05,811 No more being a shell of a man. 347 00:11:05,846 --> 00:11:07,846 From now on, you're gonna be filled with opinions! 348 00:11:07,882 --> 00:11:09,148 - And pudding? - No! 349 00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:11,984 I want your thoughts and feelings on everything, 350 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:14,119 so Adam can see how we compromise. 351 00:11:14,155 --> 00:11:15,788 Now we are gonna go to the store, 352 00:11:15,823 --> 00:11:17,623 and you are gonna pick out the towels. 353 00:11:17,658 --> 00:11:20,326 I told you not to write it down, you moron! 354 00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:21,694 What's that all about? 355 00:11:21,729 --> 00:11:22,928 Who knows? 356 00:11:22,963 --> 00:11:25,097 Let's just focus on the thing we both love... 357 00:11:25,132 --> 00:11:28,000 "Star Trek IV, Spock Does San Francisco." 358 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,635 You ruined a life today! 359 00:11:30,838 --> 00:11:33,072 True. And yet, I saved my relationship. 360 00:11:33,783 --> 00:11:35,570 Thanks to my dad's tampening technique, 361 00:11:35,752 --> 00:11:38,103 I survived two whole hours of "Star Trek" 362 00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,094 with my girlfriend. 363 00:11:39,168 --> 00:11:41,102 You know what? This movie's right. 364 00:11:41,137 --> 00:11:43,004 We really do have to save the whales. 365 00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:45,406 We do have to save the whales! 366 00:11:45,441 --> 00:11:48,676 It's all so brilliant and preachy. 367 00:11:48,711 --> 00:11:51,012 No, no. Tamp it down. 368 00:11:51,047 --> 00:11:52,380 What? 369 00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:55,783 Love you! 370 00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:59,053 Oh, sweet balls! I was in science fiction hell. 371 00:11:59,088 --> 00:12:01,656 Meanwhile, Barry was back in a Lainey-filled paradise. 372 00:12:01,691 --> 00:12:03,925 So that was you at the Wawa. 373 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,626 I thought you were visiting Erica this weekend? 374 00:12:05,662 --> 00:12:07,128 I bailed and hopped a bus here. 375 00:12:07,163 --> 00:12:08,129 I just had to see you. 376 00:12:08,164 --> 00:12:09,263 I knew it! 377 00:12:09,299 --> 00:12:10,264 Let me finish, Barry. 378 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,432 I came back to say this face to face. 379 00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:12,800 I'm in Georgia now. 380 00:12:12,835 --> 00:12:14,802 I've moved on. It's time for you to move on, too. 381 00:12:14,837 --> 00:12:16,570 You're right. 382 00:12:16,606 --> 00:12:18,973 Thank you for being so mature and understanding... 383 00:12:19,008 --> 00:12:20,942 And so, they finally moved on. 384 00:12:20,977 --> 00:12:22,576 - Or not. -Because I love you 385 00:12:22,612 --> 00:12:23,844 and I want you back now! 386 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,680 Say yes or I will literally die! 387 00:12:25,715 --> 00:12:27,248 I knew it again! Yes! 388 00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:28,616 Someone do something! 389 00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:30,785 Guys, we all know how hard it is, 390 00:12:30,820 --> 00:12:32,353 but don't just jump back into this 391 00:12:32,388 --> 00:12:33,988 without really thinking it through! 392 00:12:34,023 --> 00:12:35,156 Okay. 393 00:12:35,191 --> 00:12:36,190 And think they did. 394 00:12:36,225 --> 00:12:38,192 Searching deep in their hearts. 395 00:12:38,227 --> 00:12:39,226 And then said screw it. 396 00:12:39,262 --> 00:12:40,695 ? Love lift us up where we belong ? 397 00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:43,965 Guess who's back together and in total love? 398 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,199 [Bleep] 399 00:12:45,234 --> 00:12:47,268 ? Where the eagles cry ? 400 00:12:47,303 --> 00:12:48,135 Start clapping, 401 00:12:48,171 --> 00:12:50,004 or I'll fight everyone in this gym! 402 00:12:50,039 --> 00:12:52,506 ? On a mountain high ? 403 00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:54,942 Barry and Lainey's love was lifted to new heights. 404 00:12:54,978 --> 00:12:56,177 Meanwhile, I was looking like 405 00:12:56,212 --> 00:12:58,546 a dumb-ass Keebler Elf with a bowl cut! 406 00:12:58,581 --> 00:13:00,448 Aww! You look as cute as a button. 407 00:13:00,483 --> 00:13:02,383 I do look as cute as a button. 408 00:13:02,418 --> 00:13:04,418 We're gonna have the best Halloween ever. 409 00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:06,420 We are gonna have the best Halloween ever. 410 00:13:06,456 --> 00:13:07,722 You're acting weird. 411 00:13:07,757 --> 00:13:09,423 I am acting weird. 412 00:13:09,459 --> 00:13:10,524 See? 413 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,426 We agree on everything and you're happy. 414 00:13:12,462 --> 00:13:13,894 Hey, Adam! 415 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,563 Come in the bathroom and take a look at this! 416 00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:16,998 You won't believe it! 417 00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,599 Uh, I think we all have a sense 418 00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:20,201 of what you're capable of, Dad! 419 00:13:20,236 --> 00:13:21,302 Just get in here! 420 00:13:21,337 --> 00:13:22,370 See this?! 421 00:13:22,405 --> 00:13:24,705 We went shopping, I gave my opinion, 422 00:13:24,741 --> 00:13:27,074 and now I got the towel of my dreams! 423 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,911 Yep, all dad's love huge, comfy, plain white towels, 424 00:13:30,947 --> 00:13:32,947 and this one was the stuff of legend. 425 00:13:32,982 --> 00:13:35,850 You can wrap yourself in it like it's a bedspread, 426 00:13:35,885 --> 00:13:37,485 but it's a towel. 427 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:38,786 Turns out my mom 428 00:13:38,821 --> 00:13:40,521 had some tampening skills of her own. 429 00:13:40,556 --> 00:13:42,857 And she used them to desperately remain positive. 430 00:13:42,892 --> 00:13:45,426 Fun fact, uh, it's so big, 431 00:13:45,461 --> 00:13:47,595 I can only wash one of those at a time! 432 00:13:48,631 --> 00:13:49,764 Your mom's right. 433 00:13:49,799 --> 00:13:52,566 This compromise thing, it really does work! 434 00:13:52,602 --> 00:13:55,503 You can dry a van with it. Ah! 435 00:13:55,538 --> 00:13:57,171 I know I told you to blindly agree 436 00:13:57,206 --> 00:13:59,040 with all your girlfriend's stupid stuff, 437 00:13:59,075 --> 00:14:00,441 but guess what? 438 00:14:00,476 --> 00:14:02,476 They're desperate to know how wrong they are! 439 00:14:02,512 --> 00:14:03,310 What? 440 00:14:03,346 --> 00:14:04,278 B... Nothing! 441 00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:06,547 Just a little family towel talk. 442 00:14:06,582 --> 00:14:08,582 Wait, wait. I'm wrong? 443 00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:09,550 Well, that does it. 444 00:14:09,585 --> 00:14:11,218 I'm bringing my towels back! 445 00:14:11,254 --> 00:14:13,187 No! This is our one towel now. 446 00:14:13,222 --> 00:14:14,355 It's all we need. 447 00:14:14,390 --> 00:14:15,923 So you just repeat everything I say 448 00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,158 just to patronize me? 449 00:14:17,193 --> 00:14:19,326 It's better than saying the one thing you love the most 450 00:14:19,362 --> 00:14:20,928 is boring as balls! 451 00:14:20,963 --> 00:14:22,163 Boring as balls? 452 00:14:22,198 --> 00:14:23,564 You didn't even want my opinion. 453 00:14:23,599 --> 00:14:25,266 You just want everything on your terms! 454 00:14:25,301 --> 00:14:27,168 But my terms make sense, 455 00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:29,970 unlike the preposterous size of that towel! 456 00:14:30,006 --> 00:14:32,406 Trekkies have four movies and two TV shows, 457 00:14:32,442 --> 00:14:33,774 and all your people have 458 00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:35,876 is just a mere trilogy to sell toys. 459 00:14:35,912 --> 00:14:37,244 "You people"? 460 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,114 Oh, wow! You went there pretty quick! 461 00:14:40,149 --> 00:14:42,650 This was never about my big, thirsty towel, was it? 462 00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,752 It's about you preferring me as a shell. 463 00:14:44,787 --> 00:14:47,388 Fine. Take your giant towel! 464 00:14:47,423 --> 00:14:50,391 You can go dry a street or suck up a river! 465 00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:51,725 I will never be your Trekkie! 466 00:14:51,761 --> 00:14:52,927 Ever! 467 00:14:52,962 --> 00:14:55,563 Well then, maybe you shouldn't be my boyfriend! 468 00:14:55,598 --> 00:14:57,832 This is your fault! 469 00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:59,266 Hey, you ruined my thing, too. 470 00:14:59,302 --> 00:15:01,202 This is what I get for modeling my relationship 471 00:15:01,237 --> 00:15:03,204 after two crazy people! 472 00:15:03,873 --> 00:15:04,839 I know he's upset, 473 00:15:04,874 --> 00:15:06,173 but we need to get Adam back in here. 474 00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,275 It's gonna take at least three of us to fold this thing. 475 00:15:08,311 --> 00:15:10,077 As two Goldberg relationships crumbled, 476 00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:12,780 one was still standing on two feet. 477 00:15:12,815 --> 00:15:15,149 Hey, Bar? It's been an hour. 478 00:15:15,184 --> 00:15:16,517 I don't think you have to keep carrying her around 479 00:15:16,552 --> 00:15:17,551 like she's Debra Winger. 480 00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:19,286 I'll carry Lainey in my arms 481 00:15:19,322 --> 00:15:20,788 until everyone in here knows 482 00:15:20,823 --> 00:15:23,164 I am the officer and she is my gentleman! 483 00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,626 - Aww! - Barry and Lainey were flying high, 484 00:15:25,661 --> 00:15:26,961 till reality crashed the party. 485 00:15:26,996 --> 00:15:28,462 Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?! 486 00:15:28,498 --> 00:15:29,663 - Erica?! - Erica?! Aah! 487 00:15:29,699 --> 00:15:32,233 - Erica! So glad you're finally here! - Hi, baby. 488 00:15:32,268 --> 00:15:33,868 Now our couples costume makes sense. 489 00:15:33,903 --> 00:15:35,703 See? I'm Marty McFly and you're his mom. 490 00:15:35,738 --> 00:15:37,037 Oh, boy, what have we done? 491 00:15:37,073 --> 00:15:37,838 What are you doing here? 492 00:15:37,874 --> 00:15:39,273 What are you doing here? 493 00:15:39,308 --> 00:15:41,442 We were by the keg chatting up two hot frat guys, 494 00:15:41,477 --> 00:15:43,410 and then I turned around and you were gone! 495 00:15:43,446 --> 00:15:44,745 This is probably a bad time, 496 00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:45,813 but you look super hot, 497 00:15:45,848 --> 00:15:47,414 even though you're technically my mom. 498 00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:49,116 Gross. But thanks. 499 00:15:49,152 --> 00:15:50,217 I'm sorry I ditched you, 500 00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:51,418 but I did leave a note on the punch bowl. 501 00:15:51,454 --> 00:15:53,854 Oh, you mean this sticky red napkin 502 00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:55,422 that says "Bye"? 503 00:15:55,458 --> 00:15:57,324 I just came back here to tell Barry it's totally over. 504 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,261 But, in a surprising twist, we got back together! 505 00:16:00,296 --> 00:16:02,129 - Aren't you happy for us? - No! 506 00:16:02,165 --> 00:16:04,832 Long-distance relationships are the worst and never work. 507 00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:06,000 Yes! Beating the odds! 508 00:16:06,035 --> 00:16:07,701 See? You guys make it work. 509 00:16:07,737 --> 00:16:09,603 Yeah, but we barely see each other. 510 00:16:09,639 --> 00:16:11,238 And our phone bills are out of control. 511 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,506 I had to start mowing lawns. 512 00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:13,974 Manual labor? 513 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:15,209 Big Tasty's more of 514 00:16:15,244 --> 00:16:17,411 a corner-office, feet-up-on-the-desk kinda guy. 515 00:16:17,446 --> 00:16:18,879 Not to mention, 516 00:16:18,915 --> 00:16:20,981 we're just three hours away from each other. 517 00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:23,450 Georgia's only... 518 00:16:23,486 --> 00:16:26,020 12 hours away. 519 00:16:26,055 --> 00:16:27,254 They're right, Barry. 520 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,157 And so, that dark Halloween night, 521 00:16:30,193 --> 00:16:32,026 Barry and Lainey finally saw the light. 522 00:16:32,061 --> 00:16:33,661 It's over again. 523 00:16:33,696 --> 00:16:35,062 Oh, Lainey. 524 00:16:36,101 --> 00:16:37,144 It may have been Halloween, 525 00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:38,696 but the scariest thing in our house 526 00:16:38,834 --> 00:16:40,257 was what was going on between my folks. 527 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:41,792 Dad, thank God you're here! 528 00:16:41,892 --> 00:16:43,885 There is a major crisis between me and Murray 529 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:44,789 and we need your help. 530 00:16:44,824 --> 00:16:47,325 Well, I'm 0 for 1, but let's give it a shot. 531 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,793 Great. Which towel do you like best? 532 00:16:48,828 --> 00:16:50,494 The entire life we've built depends on it. 533 00:16:50,530 --> 00:16:51,796 Dammit! 534 00:16:51,831 --> 00:16:54,131 Why does everyone around here fight over such nonsense? 535 00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:55,399 Do I really need to be here for this? 536 00:16:55,435 --> 00:16:58,336 Yes, you need to see how a healthy relationship works! 537 00:16:58,371 --> 00:17:00,371 Pick my towel, Daddy! 538 00:17:00,406 --> 00:17:02,940 Well, this one is the ugliest shade of brown I've ever seen. 539 00:17:02,976 --> 00:17:05,209 And this big one looks like the sail of a clipper ship. 540 00:17:05,245 --> 00:17:07,645 - Gah! Who asked you?! - You did! 541 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,480 Can I go back to being sad and alone? 542 00:17:09,515 --> 00:17:10,781 No. 543 00:17:10,817 --> 00:17:14,051 Adam... I'm sorry we mixed in. 544 00:17:14,087 --> 00:17:15,186 The truth is, 545 00:17:15,221 --> 00:17:17,255 I talk a big game about compromise, 546 00:17:17,290 --> 00:17:18,556 but deep down... 547 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,260 ...I am a lady who likes to call the shots. 548 00:17:22,295 --> 00:17:25,162 And deep down, I'm good with that. 549 00:17:25,198 --> 00:17:27,298 Really? You mean that, Mur? 550 00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:29,233 More than anything. 551 00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:31,636 See? We do compromise... 552 00:17:31,671 --> 00:17:33,571 - just in our own way. - I get it. 553 00:17:33,606 --> 00:17:36,674 Even if it is super unhealthy and a terrible example. 554 00:17:36,709 --> 00:17:37,742 But it works for us. 555 00:17:37,777 --> 00:17:39,143 And you and Jackie will figure out 556 00:17:39,178 --> 00:17:40,544 what works for you, too. 557 00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:42,179 But deep in my heart, I already knew. 558 00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:43,581 ? Love lift us up where we belong ? 559 00:17:43,616 --> 00:17:45,316 That night, my crazy parents made me realize 560 00:17:45,351 --> 00:17:47,918 there's no shortcuts when it comes to relationships. 561 00:17:47,954 --> 00:17:50,655 And when it came to Jackie, I'd do the unthinkable. 562 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:52,423 I'd boldly go where no "Star Wars" fan 563 00:17:52,458 --> 00:17:54,292 had gone before. 564 00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:55,293 Oh, it's you. 565 00:17:55,328 --> 00:17:56,894 What do you want? 566 00:17:56,929 --> 00:17:59,030 Look, you know I get all flustered, 567 00:17:59,065 --> 00:18:01,332 so I'm gonna let "Star Trek" do all the talking. 568 00:18:15,882 --> 00:18:18,416 You do know that that was complete gibberish, right? 569 00:18:18,451 --> 00:18:19,483 I tried learning Klingon. 570 00:18:19,519 --> 00:18:21,886 - For me? - Yeah. 571 00:18:21,921 --> 00:18:24,889 All I'm trying to say is... 572 00:18:24,924 --> 00:18:25,956 I love you. 573 00:18:25,992 --> 00:18:27,758 I know. 574 00:18:27,794 --> 00:18:29,760 Wait, are you quoting the Carbonite scene 575 00:18:29,796 --> 00:18:30,828 from "Empire Strikes Back"? 576 00:18:30,863 --> 00:18:32,730 I am quoting the Carbonite scene 577 00:18:32,765 --> 00:18:33,931 from "Empire Strikes Back." 578 00:18:33,966 --> 00:18:36,434 Okay, that's the smile 'n' echo. 579 00:18:36,469 --> 00:18:38,636 With that, me and Jackie were back. 580 00:18:38,671 --> 00:18:41,472 But for my brother, love had no easy answer. 581 00:18:41,507 --> 00:18:43,174 Hi, Mr. Ouija. 582 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,608 I know this is asking a lot, 583 00:18:44,644 --> 00:18:46,477 but please, 584 00:18:46,512 --> 00:18:48,412 we need to know. 585 00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:50,181 Will we end up together? 586 00:18:51,584 --> 00:18:53,150 Sometimes the hardest thing about love 587 00:18:53,186 --> 00:18:56,187 is realizing no one has all the answers. 588 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,822 I was really hoping it would work. 589 00:18:57,857 --> 00:18:59,657 Us, or the Ouija? 590 00:18:59,692 --> 00:19:00,858 Both. 591 00:19:03,096 --> 00:19:05,930 I'll always love you, Barry Goldberg. 592 00:19:05,965 --> 00:19:07,298 You know that, right? 593 00:19:13,072 --> 00:19:14,739 Truth is, 594 00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:17,208 there's no trick to making a relationship perfect. 595 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,743 Looks like you got through to them. 596 00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:19,977 Well done. 597 00:19:20,012 --> 00:19:22,279 Why do I feel so lousy? 598 00:19:22,315 --> 00:19:23,614 'Cause you were right. 599 00:19:23,649 --> 00:19:26,517 Long distance really does suck. 600 00:19:26,552 --> 00:19:27,818 But it's worth it. 601 00:19:27,854 --> 00:19:29,754 At least for us. 602 00:19:29,789 --> 00:19:31,322 And how can you be so sure? 603 00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,396 Does that answer your question? 604 00:19:38,431 --> 00:19:39,463 For sure. It's totally worth it. 605 00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,933 That towel takes up half the closet. 606 00:19:42,969 --> 00:19:44,468 You know what? 607 00:19:44,504 --> 00:19:45,636 I think it's growing on me. 608 00:19:47,874 --> 00:19:50,141 Sure, there will always be bumps along the way... 609 00:19:50,176 --> 00:19:52,376 ...but when you find that perfect person... 610 00:19:52,412 --> 00:19:54,445 there's nothing better in the universe. 611 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,415 Adam: Admit it. You like "Star Wars" a little. 612 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:58,849 These buns are kind of growing on me. 613 00:20:01,888 --> 00:20:11,862 _ 614 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,905 Okay, we've been through this a lot. 615 00:20:20,142 --> 00:20:22,401 I just... I want you to relax, just be in the moment, 616 00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:23,837 and for the love of God, 617 00:20:24,006 --> 00:20:25,598 act like you've been there. 618 00:20:25,634 --> 00:20:26,733 Which I have. 619 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,234 So, it's so strange that I keep acting like 620 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,302 I have yet to be there. 621 00:20:29,337 --> 00:20:31,004 Bad start. Here we go. 622 00:20:34,709 --> 00:20:35,809 That's an A+. 623 00:20:35,844 --> 00:20:37,277 4.0 GPA! 624 00:20:37,312 --> 00:20:38,778 Hittin' the books, makin' the grades! 625 00:20:40,148 --> 00:20:41,181 That is some quality craftsmanship. 626 00:20:41,216 --> 00:20:42,348 Hand sewn! 627 00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:43,716 Rich Corinthian leather! 628 00:20:44,186 --> 00:20:45,351 Great stuff, fine work. 629 00:20:45,387 --> 00:20:46,586 Not work, play. 630 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:49,022 All work and no play makes Adam a dull boy. 631 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,091 Hello, Nurse! 632 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,927 The doctor's in! 633 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,662 Your prescription's ready! 634 00:20:55,697 --> 00:20:56,696 You know what? 635 00:20:56,731 --> 00:21:01,291 - Let's just pick this back up tomorrow? - That seems reasonable. 44216

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