Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,031 --> 00:00:02,230
Yes yes yes yes.
2
00:00:02,232 --> 00:00:03,398
Yes yes yes.
3
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Incoming.
4
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This thing's loaded.
5
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Great, thanks.
6
00:00:08,205 --> 00:00:09,337
I really appreciate this, Harry.
7
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Not the usual response you get
8
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for handing over a dirty diaper.
9
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No, for watching Charlie while I
10
00:00:14,278 --> 00:00:15,978
go on a date with Kyle's dad...
11
00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:17,312
I mean Bruce.
12
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And ah, for not letting
it get weird between us.
13
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Weird?
14
00:00:22,819 --> 00:00:23,851
I'm just your formerly anonymous
15
00:00:23,853 --> 00:00:24,886
sperm donor, who's platonically
16
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helping you raise our son.
17
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What's weird about that?
18
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[cell phone beeps]
19
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That's Bruce.
20
00:00:31,361 --> 00:00:32,794
I gotta go.
21
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I'll miss you.
22
00:00:34,331 --> 00:00:36,998
I'll miss you too.
23
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,701
That was my Charlie voice.
24
00:00:39,703 --> 00:00:41,736
I'll miss you too.
25
00:00:41,738 --> 00:00:43,071
Bye, you two!
26
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[♪
♪]
27
00:00:46,342 --> 00:00:48,643
Maybe it's getting a little weird.
28
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Hey, don't say anything okay.
29
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You hear me?
30
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[♪
♪]
31
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- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
32
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You're not going to eat with us?
33
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I'll pick something up at work.
34
00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:13,667
Oh, and I won't be home until late,
35
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I've got a lot going on with a case...
36
00:01:15,104 --> 00:01:16,903
You're going to see Harry again, right?
37
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Yes.
38
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That's the fourth time this week.
39
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You see more of him than Anastasia does.
40
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Well Harry needs me, okay.
41
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He's got a crush on Rose, and now she's
42
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seeing someone else.
43
00:01:26,749 --> 00:01:29,214
Well, you tell Harry that
he's ignoring his daughter.
44
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Ignoring MY daughter.
45
00:01:30,718 --> 00:01:32,551
Yes, you're ignoring her too.
46
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I'm okay with Dad hanging with Harry.
47
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Sweetheart, if you don't mind
48
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I'll do the speaking for you.
49
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[crash sound from the floor]
50
00:01:38,926 --> 00:01:41,326
Is that season four of 'Justified'?
51
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I thought we were watching that.
52
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Harry and I kind of got into it.
53
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Boy, that guy can binge.
54
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Bye.
55
00:01:50,437 --> 00:01:51,637
That is weird.
56
00:01:51,639 --> 00:01:52,704
Thank you.
57
00:01:52,706 --> 00:01:53,838
Who watches DVDs anymore?
58
00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:57,176
Look, you're obviously missing Dad,
59
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just tell him to stop hanging with Harry.
60
00:01:58,979 --> 00:02:01,012
Sweetheart, I am not
61
00:02:01,014 --> 00:02:02,147
one of those women.
62
00:02:02,149 --> 00:02:02,847
'Those' women?
63
00:02:02,849 --> 00:02:03,682
Ya, you know.
64
00:02:03,684 --> 00:02:04,616
A harpy.
65
00:02:04,618 --> 00:02:05,750
A shrew.
66
00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:07,052
Are those real words?
67
00:02:07,054 --> 00:02:08,387
Ugh, why do we send you
to that private school?
68
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,388
So you can tell your friends that you can
69
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,223
afford to send me to private school?
70
00:02:11,225 --> 00:02:13,792
A shrew is a woman who constantly bosses
71
00:02:13,794 --> 00:02:15,093
her husband around.
72
00:02:15,095 --> 00:02:17,328
Oh, like a harridan.
73
00:02:17,330 --> 00:02:19,197
Yes.
74
00:02:19,199 --> 00:02:21,132
Anyway, your father will spend time with me
75
00:02:21,134 --> 00:02:24,002
because he wants to, not
because I tell him to.
76
00:02:24,004 --> 00:02:25,870
When you're older, you will understand.
77
00:02:25,872 --> 00:02:26,838
Doubt it.
78
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,573
I don't plan on being a battle-axe,
79
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or a carper, or a nag,
80
00:02:30,877 --> 00:02:33,211
a harpy, a hen-pecker...
81
00:02:34,746 --> 00:02:35,846
Hey Mom.
82
00:02:35,848 --> 00:02:37,114
So did you get a good part?
83
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You promised you wouldn't make a
84
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big deal out of this.
85
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I won't.
86
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:41,685
So what part did you get?
87
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I'm a tree.
88
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A tree.
89
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:45,823
Really?
90
00:02:45,825 --> 00:02:46,724
Yeah.
91
00:02:46,726 --> 00:02:47,357
And I have lines.
92
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Two of them.
93
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I get to say 'Hey' and 'ouch'.
94
00:02:50,429 --> 00:02:52,495
Those are words, sweetie, not lines.
95
00:02:52,497 --> 00:02:53,530
That's great.
96
00:02:53,532 --> 00:02:55,332
Both of us are really happy for you.
97
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:56,566
Right Mommy Zoey?
98
00:02:56,568 --> 00:02:57,967
Yeah...
99
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:58,335
Can you help me learn them?
100
00:02:58,337 --> 00:02:59,135
Sure.
101
00:02:59,137 --> 00:02:59,603
Hey!
102
00:02:59,605 --> 00:03:00,604
What?
103
00:03:00,606 --> 00:03:01,705
I was doing my first line.
104
00:03:01,707 --> 00:03:02,939
Oh, I couldn't tell.
105
00:03:02,941 --> 00:03:03,673
Ouch.
106
00:03:03,675 --> 00:03:05,875
Oh, no, I didn't mean you did it badly.
107
00:03:05,877 --> 00:03:06,743
That was my second line.
108
00:03:06,745 --> 00:03:08,044
Ouch.
109
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:10,447
See?
110
00:03:10,449 --> 00:03:12,449
He is so talented, and
they only give him...
111
00:03:12,451 --> 00:03:14,083
Zoey, please do not get involved,
112
00:03:14,085 --> 00:03:16,486
or complain to the
director about Billy's part.
113
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,454
It doesn't matter how many lines he has.
114
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I won't say a word.
115
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Or two.
116
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Okay.
117
00:03:22,727 --> 00:03:25,027
Alright, so, let's run those lines.
118
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Hey, ouch.
119
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Good job.
120
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[♪
♪]
121
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There you go.
122
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We should do something sometime.
123
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Something like me?
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I would love to, but we have a strict
125
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no dating the customer rule.
126
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Sorry.
127
00:03:43,647 --> 00:03:44,780
What the hell?
128
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Oh, right, you wanted me
to push the lunch special.
129
00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:48,116
I completely forgot.
130
00:03:48,118 --> 00:03:49,785
The lunch special?
131
00:03:49,787 --> 00:03:51,219
You can totally date customers.
132
00:03:51,221 --> 00:03:52,888
That's the best part of working at a bar.
133
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:54,589
Why else serve desperate people?
134
00:03:54,591 --> 00:03:57,325
Look, I'm just completely worn out
135
00:03:57,327 --> 00:03:59,860
from all the crazy sex
I had last night, okay.
136
00:03:59,862 --> 00:04:01,461
And I would have been all over her except
137
00:04:01,463 --> 00:04:03,197
I have another date tonight with a
138
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,564
different lady friend.
139
00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:05,632
Tonight.
140
00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:06,600
What?
141
00:04:06,602 --> 00:04:08,969
I thought I was coming
over to watch Justified.
142
00:04:08,971 --> 00:04:10,204
We're already up to episode eight
143
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,205
and half the special features,
144
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,139
we can't quit now.
145
00:04:12,141 --> 00:04:13,174
What's wrong with you?
146
00:04:13,176 --> 00:04:15,242
Why would you lie about having crazy sex?
147
00:04:15,244 --> 00:04:16,576
Don't distract me.
148
00:04:16,578 --> 00:04:18,979
I'm supposed to be working, Irene.
149
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:25,118
Harry likes Rose but can't admit it
150
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,054
because he thinks it's not gonna work out.
151
00:04:28,056 --> 00:04:29,789
But don't tell anyone...
152
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,191
You're hung up on Rose?
153
00:04:31,193 --> 00:04:32,458
Rose?
154
00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:34,093
Oh, yeah, right, the mother of my child.
155
00:04:34,095 --> 00:04:35,895
Nope; we're just friends.
156
00:04:38,065 --> 00:04:39,065
Ow!
157
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,233
Can't you keep a secret?
158
00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:41,534
You're like movie Alfred telling everybody
159
00:04:41,536 --> 00:04:42,401
about the Batcave.
160
00:04:42,403 --> 00:04:43,469
What?
161
00:04:43,471 --> 00:04:46,004
In the movie, Alfred
can't shut up about it.
162
00:04:46,006 --> 00:04:46,872
Every person Alfred meets he
163
00:04:46,874 --> 00:04:48,273
blabs about the batcave.
164
00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:50,742
I like that Alfred tells
everyone about the Batcave.
165
00:04:50,744 --> 00:04:52,978
Seems more honest.
166
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:54,346
Just don't tell anyone else, okay?
167
00:04:54,348 --> 00:04:56,281
Of course not.
168
00:04:56,283 --> 00:04:57,615
I told Janet.
169
00:04:57,617 --> 00:05:08,025
[♪
♪]
170
00:05:08,027 --> 00:05:08,593
Hi.
171
00:05:08,595 --> 00:05:10,027
I'm Zoey Krasnoff.
172
00:05:10,029 --> 00:05:10,762
Are you the director of the play?
173
00:05:10,764 --> 00:05:13,030
Or are you in the play?
174
00:05:13,032 --> 00:05:14,766
Susan Bechdel.
175
00:05:14,768 --> 00:05:16,368
I'm the second grade teacher and yup,
176
00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:18,403
I'm the play's director.
177
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,238
Are you one of Billy's mothers?
178
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,740
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about
179
00:05:21,742 --> 00:05:22,874
the play and Billy...
180
00:05:22,876 --> 00:05:24,376
Oh great, another Mom
181
00:05:24,378 --> 00:05:26,745
complaining about the
size of her kid's part.
182
00:05:26,747 --> 00:05:28,746
No, no, not at all.
183
00:05:28,748 --> 00:05:31,482
I'm not one of those women.
184
00:05:31,484 --> 00:05:32,783
Some parents, hey?
185
00:05:32,785 --> 00:05:34,385
They're unbelievable.
186
00:05:34,387 --> 00:05:35,452
Did you know that the school didn't even
187
00:05:35,454 --> 00:05:37,087
have a director, but I just got out
188
00:05:37,089 --> 00:05:38,622
of this long term relationship
189
00:05:38,624 --> 00:05:41,057
and I thought it would be a distraction.
190
00:05:41,059 --> 00:05:42,993
Ugh, I'm yammering.
191
00:05:42,995 --> 00:05:45,429
So, what did you need to talk to me about?
192
00:05:45,431 --> 00:05:46,397
Oh.
193
00:05:46,399 --> 00:05:49,466
I wanted to let you know that
194
00:05:49,468 --> 00:05:52,302
sometimes Harry, Billy's biological
195
00:05:52,304 --> 00:05:56,306
and single Dad might be picking him up.
196
00:05:57,408 --> 00:05:58,375
Oh, Harry.
197
00:06:00,111 --> 00:06:01,211
I've seem him picking up Billy.
198
00:06:01,213 --> 00:06:02,913
He's cute.
199
00:06:02,915 --> 00:06:06,182
A guy like that could
talk me into anything.
200
00:06:06,184 --> 00:06:07,650
Like, anything.
201
00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:11,687
You know, I could introduce you guys?
202
00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:14,657
Oh well, we have a very strict
203
00:06:14,659 --> 00:06:17,660
'no dating the parents' policy.
204
00:06:17,662 --> 00:06:19,295
Harry's just a sperm donor.
205
00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:20,563
Aren't they all.
206
00:06:20,565 --> 00:06:22,865
No, he was supposed to be
our anonymous sperm donor.
207
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,366
So technically he's not a "parent."
208
00:06:24,368 --> 00:06:26,436
That said, I think he'd be upset
209
00:06:26,438 --> 00:06:29,204
that Billy only has two words,
210
00:06:29,206 --> 00:06:31,206
lines in the school play.
211
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:35,110
He's really been encouraging
Billy to get into acting.
212
00:06:35,112 --> 00:06:38,180
Maybe I could find a bigger part for Billy.
213
00:06:38,182 --> 00:06:41,317
Do you think Harry'd
go for someone like me?
214
00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:44,619
Honestly, I'm just looking
for a meaningless fling.
215
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:47,556
Yeah, I think he could be talked into that.
216
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:52,627
Okay, Charlie should be down for the night.
217
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,563
I'll be back from my date around eleven.
218
00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:57,732
Do you think Bruce'll like this dress?
219
00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:03,104
Uh, yeah, it's amaz...
220
00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:05,106
Uh, it's fine.
221
00:07:05,108 --> 00:07:07,542
I mean, ehh.
222
00:07:07,544 --> 00:07:08,176
What's wrong with it?
223
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,345
It's a bit um...
224
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:13,682
Hey, how about those overalls you bought?
225
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,617
The ones I painted Charlie's room in?
226
00:07:15,619 --> 00:07:17,786
Guys love overalls.
227
00:07:17,788 --> 00:07:18,687
Hey Zoey.
228
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:19,788
Harry, I...
229
00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,155
Zoey, hi, it's Rose.
230
00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:22,390
Um, tell me this.
231
00:07:22,392 --> 00:07:24,359
Would you ever wear overalls on a date?
232
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,194
If I was going to a lesbian barn dance.
233
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,396
Exactly!
234
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:32,467
Hey.
235
00:07:32,469 --> 00:07:33,368
Would you mind getting Billy from
236
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:33,968
his rehearsal tomorrow?
237
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:35,069
Sure.
238
00:07:35,071 --> 00:07:36,570
Oh and, don't ask me why I know this,
239
00:07:36,572 --> 00:07:38,006
but the director, Susan?
240
00:07:38,008 --> 00:07:39,340
She might think you're hot.
241
00:07:39,342 --> 00:07:41,075
So you should wear that blue shirt.
242
00:07:41,077 --> 00:07:42,076
The one that makes you
look like a black-haired
243
00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:43,210
Daniel Craig.
244
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:44,912
And if she happens to ask you out for a
245
00:07:44,914 --> 00:07:47,515
meaningless fling, I'm completely okay
246
00:07:47,517 --> 00:07:49,116
if you go for it.
247
00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:50,117
Okay?
248
00:07:53,855 --> 00:07:55,623
Rose.
249
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:58,091
You look great.
250
00:07:58,093 --> 00:08:00,628
Thanks, Harry.
251
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,730
Hello? Harry? Harry!
252
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,064
[school bell]
253
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,136
Hey buddy.
254
00:08:10,138 --> 00:08:12,138
Hey, I'm preparing for my role by
255
00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:13,472
hanging out with a tree in our yard.
256
00:08:13,474 --> 00:08:15,274
I want to fully understand its bark,
257
00:08:15,276 --> 00:08:17,176
its branches and its leaves.
258
00:08:17,178 --> 00:08:18,578
I respect your process.
259
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:19,646
Thanks.
260
00:08:19,648 --> 00:08:21,514
He's a very believable tree, Harry.
261
00:08:21,516 --> 00:08:22,682
Oh, hey.
262
00:08:22,728 --> 00:08:23,994
You know my name?
263
00:08:23,996 --> 00:08:24,895
Of course.
264
00:08:24,897 --> 00:08:25,796
I know all about you.
265
00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:28,298
I'm Ms. Bechdel, Susan.
266
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:32,702
Would you like to get
together sometime, Harry?
267
00:08:34,605 --> 00:08:37,173
You know, I would love to,
268
00:08:37,175 --> 00:08:38,341
but I probably shouldn't date a teacher.
269
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,443
It's a conflict of interest.
270
00:08:40,445 --> 00:08:41,344
But thank you.
271
00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:41,944
So much.
272
00:08:41,946 --> 00:08:43,213
Of course.
273
00:08:43,215 --> 00:08:44,981
It's not a problem.
274
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,483
That's great.
275
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,350
Super.
276
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,184
Thanks anyway.
277
00:08:49,186 --> 00:08:51,120
It's cool.
278
00:08:52,222 --> 00:08:54,724
Kids before you go, I have an
279
00:08:54,726 --> 00:08:56,859
announcement to make.
280
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,095
What are you doing here?
281
00:09:00,097 --> 00:09:01,063
Billy's behind me.
282
00:09:01,065 --> 00:09:02,331
I swear real trees walk faster.
283
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,465
Why did you pick Billy up from school?
284
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:04,634
No reason.
285
00:09:04,636 --> 00:09:05,601
Glad he did though.
286
00:09:05,603 --> 00:09:06,502
Bye Harry...
287
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,636
So hold on, about dating
288
00:09:07,638 --> 00:09:09,938
Billy's director, here's what happened.
289
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,073
What?
290
00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:11,840
You know we don't like it when
291
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:12,807
you get involved with
292
00:09:12,809 --> 00:09:13,875
Billy's teachers, babysitters,
293
00:09:13,877 --> 00:09:14,976
bus drivers, camp councilors...
294
00:09:14,978 --> 00:09:17,779
I know... ugh, I still owe her a kayak.
295
00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:18,847
You will not date her.
296
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,682
Agreed, I turned her down.
297
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:21,583
What?
298
00:09:21,585 --> 00:09:22,617
Is she not good enough for you?
299
00:09:22,619 --> 00:09:23,818
She's cute.
300
00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:25,887
And she's into something meaningless-
301
00:09:25,889 --> 00:09:27,556
You asked Harry to date her?
302
00:09:27,558 --> 00:09:29,891
Um, I did, sort of.
303
00:09:29,893 --> 00:09:30,825
But no harm done.
304
00:09:30,827 --> 00:09:33,061
Well, the thing is, a little harm
305
00:09:33,063 --> 00:09:34,362
may have been done.
306
00:09:34,364 --> 00:09:36,264
See, after I turned her down...
307
00:09:36,266 --> 00:09:40,501
Ms. Bechdel cancelled the school play.
308
00:09:40,503 --> 00:09:45,006
Now I'll never say "hey" or "ouch" again.
309
00:09:45,008 --> 00:09:45,974
Hey...
310
00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:49,877
Ouch.
311
00:09:55,581 --> 00:09:57,316
He's just been lying there for hours.
312
00:09:57,318 --> 00:09:58,750
He won't even take his costume off.
313
00:09:58,752 --> 00:10:00,385
I just asked Harry to have
314
00:10:00,387 --> 00:10:01,586
sex with the director
315
00:10:01,588 --> 00:10:03,088
so that she would give Billy a better part.
316
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:05,224
That's how showbiz works.
317
00:10:05,226 --> 00:10:07,293
How was I supposed to know
she'd be so temperamental?
318
00:10:07,295 --> 00:10:09,828
Cause that's how showbiz works.
319
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:12,596
Alright, sweetie, you gotta say something.
320
00:10:12,598 --> 00:10:14,498
You can't just lay there like a log.
321
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,700
See?
322
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,236
I was born for this role.
323
00:10:23,608 --> 00:10:24,608
You going to Harry's tonight?
324
00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:26,144
Yeah, poor guy needs me.
325
00:10:26,146 --> 00:10:27,178
Again?
326
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:27,979
And you're okay with it, Mom?
327
00:10:27,981 --> 00:10:29,179
Of course.
328
00:10:29,181 --> 00:10:30,680
I don't need to control your father,
329
00:10:30,682 --> 00:10:32,015
or nag him.
330
00:10:32,017 --> 00:10:34,218
I'm sure he's able to
balance his time between
331
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,486
our family and the guy we chose
332
00:10:36,488 --> 00:10:38,388
as our anonymous sperm donor.
333
00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:39,656
Absolutely.
334
00:10:39,658 --> 00:10:40,757
Oh by the way I won't be home until late.
335
00:10:40,759 --> 00:10:43,793
But my absence will be Justified.
336
00:10:43,795 --> 00:10:45,128
You know, I think it's
337
00:10:45,130 --> 00:10:47,397
great how you empathize with Harry,
338
00:10:47,399 --> 00:10:48,866
I really do, but you know
339
00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:50,267
you are enabling him.
340
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:51,835
He's going through a lot and you're
341
00:10:51,837 --> 00:10:52,902
not helping.
342
00:10:52,904 --> 00:10:54,270
Anastasia what do you think?
343
00:10:54,272 --> 00:10:55,171
Don't bring her into this.
344
00:10:55,173 --> 00:10:56,272
I agree with Mom.
345
00:10:56,274 --> 00:10:58,908
Ana's point of view should be considered.
346
00:10:58,910 --> 00:10:59,942
Hmmm.
347
00:10:59,944 --> 00:11:00,977
So, you'll be home right after
348
00:11:00,979 --> 00:11:02,178
work tonight?
349
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:03,380
No, after what you just said,
350
00:11:03,382 --> 00:11:06,082
I don't think Harry should be alone.
351
00:11:07,184 --> 00:11:08,852
Can't you just tell Dad how you feel?
352
00:11:08,854 --> 00:11:11,821
That's not how marriage works.
353
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:19,895
You need to go out with the
director of Billy's play.
354
00:11:19,897 --> 00:11:21,129
For real?
355
00:11:21,131 --> 00:11:22,364
Usually you're dead set against this stuff.
356
00:11:22,366 --> 00:11:23,064
For real.
357
00:11:23,066 --> 00:11:23,965
For Billy.
358
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:25,200
So he can be a tree.
359
00:11:25,202 --> 00:11:26,368
The problem is, I'm seeing a lot
360
00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:29,070
of women right now so
I can't squeeze her in.
361
00:11:29,072 --> 00:11:29,471
Janet?
362
00:11:29,473 --> 00:11:30,071
Harry.
363
00:11:30,073 --> 00:11:30,773
Michelle.
364
00:11:30,775 --> 00:11:31,640
Janet.
365
00:11:31,642 --> 00:11:32,474
Michelle.
366
00:11:32,476 --> 00:11:34,075
Harry I just happened to be
367
00:11:34,077 --> 00:11:35,042
in the neighbourhood,
368
00:11:35,044 --> 00:11:36,511
but while I'm here, I had a thought,
369
00:11:36,513 --> 00:11:37,478
just right out of the blue and
370
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,646
I wondered if I might have a word.
371
00:11:38,648 --> 00:11:39,747
Can it wait?
372
00:11:39,749 --> 00:11:41,849
I'm trying to get Harry to date
a teacher in Billy's school.
373
00:11:41,851 --> 00:11:42,750
Oh.
374
00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:43,918
I'm sure you'd disapprove.
375
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:44,685
On the contrary.
376
00:11:44,687 --> 00:11:46,454
I whole heartedly approve.
377
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:47,455
You do?
378
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:50,591
I can't go into the
psychological reasons for it.
379
00:11:50,593 --> 00:11:52,059
I don't have the time.
380
00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:54,361
But Harry should definitely ask
381
00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:56,696
this woman out, and have
consensual sex with her.
382
00:11:56,698 --> 00:11:57,831
Thank you for specifying.
383
00:11:57,833 --> 00:12:00,634
But I can't cause I'm dating
too many people right now.
384
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:01,435
He's lying.
385
00:12:01,437 --> 00:12:03,503
Harry actually is spending
386
00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,439
most of his free time with my husband.
387
00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:07,040
You're pretending to be a man-slut?
388
00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:07,974
Man-slut?
389
00:12:07,976 --> 00:12:09,042
That's a little redundant.
390
00:12:09,044 --> 00:12:10,310
'Man' covers it.
391
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:11,978
I just don't want to
hook up with Billy's hot,
392
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,713
available teacher, okay?
393
00:12:13,715 --> 00:12:15,415
Susan is not one of Billy's teachers.
394
00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:16,983
She's the director of the play he's in.
395
00:12:16,985 --> 00:12:18,418
Or was in.
396
00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:19,419
And thanks to Harry,
the play's been canceled.
397
00:12:19,421 --> 00:12:20,686
This is my fault?
398
00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:23,122
Clearly this woman has
self-esteem issues and
399
00:12:23,124 --> 00:12:25,024
the sooner you go out with her the better.
400
00:12:25,026 --> 00:12:26,625
And this will help you get over Rose.
401
00:12:26,627 --> 00:12:27,726
Rose?
402
00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:29,895
Harry has feelings for Rose but he knows
403
00:12:29,897 --> 00:12:31,730
that it can't go anywhere
because he's incapable
404
00:12:31,732 --> 00:12:32,999
of relationships.
405
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:33,967
Don't tell anyone.
406
00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:36,035
Janet!
407
00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:37,103
That's not true, Michelle.
408
00:12:37,105 --> 00:12:38,871
Okay, well if you're not going to
409
00:12:38,873 --> 00:12:41,073
do it for yourself, at least have sex
410
00:12:41,075 --> 00:12:42,441
with this woman to help Jonathan.
411
00:12:42,443 --> 00:12:43,241
Billy.
412
00:12:43,243 --> 00:12:43,976
Billy.
413
00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:44,609
Right.
414
00:12:44,611 --> 00:12:45,810
What did I say?
415
00:12:45,812 --> 00:12:48,013
Okay, so you both think I
should sleep with a woman,
416
00:12:48,015 --> 00:12:51,149
who teaches at Billy's school,
in order to manipulate her,
417
00:12:51,151 --> 00:12:53,285
even though we all know I have no intention
418
00:12:53,287 --> 00:12:54,819
of having a relationship?
419
00:12:54,821 --> 00:12:55,550
Uh-huh.
420
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:56,489
Immediately.
421
00:12:56,491 --> 00:12:57,190
Yeah.
422
00:12:57,192 --> 00:12:57,791
It's sex.
423
00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:59,092
Your favorite.
424
00:13:02,529 --> 00:13:07,599
[♪
♪]
425
00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:08,700
Jonathan?
426
00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:10,169
I wanted to let you know.
427
00:13:10,171 --> 00:13:11,904
Harry's a nice guy.
428
00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:12,771
Okay.
429
00:13:12,773 --> 00:13:14,673
And Harry shouldn't be alone.
430
00:13:14,675 --> 00:13:16,075
I mean, I like him a lot,
431
00:13:16,077 --> 00:13:17,643
but I can't be his partner,
432
00:13:17,645 --> 00:13:19,412
because I have a wife
433
00:13:19,414 --> 00:13:20,279
Makes sense.
434
00:13:20,281 --> 00:13:21,547
But you don't.
435
00:13:21,549 --> 00:13:22,815
Have a wife.
436
00:13:22,817 --> 00:13:24,083
Also true.
437
00:13:24,085 --> 00:13:26,117
I don't want to interfere,
but when two people
438
00:13:26,119 --> 00:13:27,685
care about each other,
they should be honest
439
00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:28,886
with each other.
440
00:13:28,888 --> 00:13:29,887
[cell phone rings]
441
00:13:29,889 --> 00:13:30,855
That's Janet.
442
00:13:30,857 --> 00:13:32,590
I don't want her to know I'm here.
443
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:33,891
Where were we?
444
00:13:33,893 --> 00:13:35,493
You were talking about being honest with
445
00:13:35,495 --> 00:13:36,494
the people you care for.
446
00:13:36,496 --> 00:13:39,431
And Harry is not being honest with you.
447
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:41,232
He likes you, Rose.
448
00:13:42,435 --> 00:13:43,335
Harry?
449
00:13:43,337 --> 00:13:45,236
No way.
450
00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:47,405
He's just looking for meaningless flings.
451
00:13:47,407 --> 00:13:49,007
He's dating a new woman every night.
452
00:13:49,009 --> 00:13:50,107
He's not.
453
00:13:50,109 --> 00:13:51,041
He's just saying that so it seems like he
454
00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:53,143
doesn't like you.
455
00:13:53,145 --> 00:13:56,046
Harry doesn't "like" me.
456
00:13:56,048 --> 00:13:56,847
No.
457
00:13:57,949 --> 00:13:58,949
No?
458
00:14:00,852 --> 00:14:01,818
No!?
459
00:14:04,089 --> 00:14:05,622
Does he?
460
00:14:05,624 --> 00:14:08,125
Does Batman have a bat cave?
461
00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:08,892
He does.
462
00:14:08,894 --> 00:14:10,494
He totally does.
463
00:14:10,496 --> 00:14:14,398
[♪
♪]
464
00:14:17,699 --> 00:14:19,566
Harry doesn't like me.
465
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,134
I mean...
466
00:14:21,136 --> 00:14:25,705
even if he's "changed" and he's "dateable,"
467
00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:27,841
I'm seeing someone.
468
00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:28,909
You've had two dates.
469
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,176
Pfft. nothing.
470
00:14:30,178 --> 00:14:32,646
Okay, also there's...
471
00:14:32,648 --> 00:14:34,815
If Harry and I date and we break up,
472
00:14:34,817 --> 00:14:35,981
we'll never want to be in
473
00:14:35,983 --> 00:14:36,816
the same room again and that would make
474
00:14:36,818 --> 00:14:38,551
raising a baby super difficult.
475
00:14:38,553 --> 00:14:40,152
I'm sure that would never happen.
476
00:14:40,154 --> 00:14:41,887
All my relationships end badly.
477
00:14:41,889 --> 00:14:45,023
Very badly.
478
00:14:45,025 --> 00:14:47,593
Give me your phone, I'll show you.
479
00:14:49,496 --> 00:14:51,931
Here, talk, it's on speaker.
480
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:52,798
Okay...
481
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,866
Hello.
482
00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:54,733
Hello.
483
00:14:54,735 --> 00:14:55,568
Who is this?
484
00:14:55,570 --> 00:14:56,802
I'm calling about Rose Mabely.
485
00:14:56,804 --> 00:14:58,671
Rose Mabely?
486
00:14:58,673 --> 00:14:59,839
Did something bad happen to her?
487
00:14:59,841 --> 00:15:00,805
No no no she's fine.
488
00:15:00,807 --> 00:15:02,907
Are you an ex-boyfriend of hers?
489
00:15:02,909 --> 00:15:04,408
Do yourself a favor, pal.
490
00:15:04,410 --> 00:15:05,944
Stay away from her.
491
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,379
She's the worst thing
that ever happened to me.
492
00:15:08,381 --> 00:15:10,147
Burn in hell Rose Mabely!
493
00:15:10,149 --> 00:15:11,082
See?
494
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:12,584
Rose is that you?
495
00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:13,785
I miss you so much.
496
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,219
Give me another chance.
497
00:15:15,221 --> 00:15:18,289
I can't have a relationship with Harry.
498
00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:21,125
It'll end badly, and we
have a child to raise.
499
00:15:21,127 --> 00:15:22,760
I still think you should
give Harry a chance.
500
00:15:22,762 --> 00:15:24,128
[phone buzzes]
501
00:15:25,396 --> 00:15:27,330
Oh, it's your ex.
502
00:15:27,332 --> 00:15:28,932
Sorry.
503
00:15:28,934 --> 00:15:30,601
He'll give up in a few days.
504
00:15:30,603 --> 00:15:35,071
[♪
♪]
505
00:15:35,073 --> 00:15:37,608
So I'm really glad this could work out.
506
00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:40,343
I was in a long-term relationship.
507
00:15:40,345 --> 00:15:42,212
I just want to have some fun.
508
00:15:42,214 --> 00:15:43,914
Maybe experiment.
509
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,885
Experiment, like how?
510
00:15:47,887 --> 00:15:51,554
Like have you ever been with
two women at the same time?
511
00:15:51,556 --> 00:15:52,688
Forget it.
512
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:53,756
Never mind.
513
00:15:53,758 --> 00:15:56,459
Okay, you know, at any other point
514
00:15:56,461 --> 00:15:59,295
this would be the perfect situation...
515
00:15:59,297 --> 00:16:01,364
[cell phone buzzes]
516
00:16:01,366 --> 00:16:02,798
Sorry, I better take this.
517
00:16:04,502 --> 00:16:05,968
Janet is everything okay?
518
00:16:05,970 --> 00:16:07,904
Put Jonathan on.
519
00:16:07,906 --> 00:16:09,972
I'm on a date.
520
00:16:09,974 --> 00:16:11,574
With Jonathan?
521
00:16:11,576 --> 00:16:13,176
No, now what's the problem?
522
00:16:13,178 --> 00:16:14,411
Oh, no.
523
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:15,478
Everything's fine.
524
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:16,878
How is the date going?
525
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:17,879
It's going fine.
526
00:16:17,881 --> 00:16:18,880
Fine?
527
00:16:18,882 --> 00:16:19,981
What, are you even trying?
528
00:16:19,983 --> 00:16:21,316
Or is that part of your plan?
529
00:16:21,318 --> 00:16:22,784
Just make a half-hearted
530
00:16:22,786 --> 00:16:24,420
attempt and then go back to
531
00:16:24,422 --> 00:16:25,487
wallowing in self-pity and dragging
532
00:16:25,489 --> 00:16:26,855
my husband into it?
533
00:16:26,857 --> 00:16:27,822
Wallowing?
534
00:16:27,824 --> 00:16:28,823
Okay, I'm going to let you go.
535
00:16:28,825 --> 00:16:29,758
Okay no wait!
536
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,393
Are you even on a date?
537
00:16:31,395 --> 00:16:32,661
I don't believe you.
538
00:16:32,663 --> 00:16:33,962
She doesn't believe I'm on a date.
539
00:16:33,964 --> 00:16:35,697
Put her on speaker.
540
00:16:35,699 --> 00:16:38,934
Okay look, just stay away from my husband.
541
00:16:38,936 --> 00:16:40,202
You're her husband?
542
00:16:40,204 --> 00:16:41,936
God, no no no.
543
00:16:41,938 --> 00:16:42,937
She wants me to stay away from her husband.
544
00:16:42,939 --> 00:16:45,940
You're on speaker with my date, Susan.
545
00:16:45,942 --> 00:16:47,741
Hi Susan.
546
00:16:47,743 --> 00:16:48,943
How's everything going?
547
00:16:48,945 --> 00:16:51,446
Harry's not just going through the motions?
548
00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:52,746
I hope not.
549
00:16:52,748 --> 00:16:53,781
Oh good.
550
00:16:53,783 --> 00:16:55,249
And Harry have you asked
551
00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:55,956
Susan back to your place?
552
00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:57,525
It's a first date.
553
00:16:57,527 --> 00:16:58,659
Not yet.
554
00:16:58,661 --> 00:16:59,894
Please, Harry.
555
00:16:59,896 --> 00:17:01,462
Your first dates start without clothes.
556
00:17:01,464 --> 00:17:04,098
Look, this was a very important first step
557
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,266
that you're taking, towards moving forward.
558
00:17:06,268 --> 00:17:07,868
You need to embrace it.
559
00:17:07,870 --> 00:17:09,937
What am I in the middle of?
560
00:17:09,939 --> 00:17:11,438
Nothing.
561
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,707
Well then if it's nothing,
then ask her back to your place.
562
00:17:13,709 --> 00:17:14,542
That's a great idea.
563
00:17:14,544 --> 00:17:15,342
We just met.
564
00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:16,343
That's it.
565
00:17:16,345 --> 00:17:17,377
Just tell me where you are.
566
00:17:17,379 --> 00:17:18,211
I'm coming over.
567
00:17:18,213 --> 00:17:20,180
No no no, we'll go back to my place.
568
00:17:20,182 --> 00:17:23,784
That's great; let's go!
569
00:17:23,786 --> 00:17:24,785
Fantastic.
570
00:17:26,354 --> 00:17:27,521
Good job Mom and don't worry,
571
00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:31,391
that didn't come off as shrewish at all.
572
00:17:31,393 --> 00:17:42,735
[♪
♪]
573
00:17:42,737 --> 00:17:44,604
Harry.
574
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,738
Yeah?
575
00:17:45,740 --> 00:17:47,840
I just want someone to use me.
576
00:17:47,842 --> 00:17:49,543
As their toy.
577
00:17:49,545 --> 00:17:52,145
Really catching me at a bad time here.
578
00:17:54,382 --> 00:17:55,915
When you invited me over here,
579
00:17:55,917 --> 00:17:57,284
I called my friend.
580
00:17:57,286 --> 00:18:00,186
I thought three would be more fun.
581
00:18:00,188 --> 00:18:02,521
I just, I want this to be crazy.
582
00:18:02,523 --> 00:18:04,256
I want regrets.
583
00:18:04,258 --> 00:18:05,624
[knocking on the door]
584
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,159
That was quick.
585
00:18:09,596 --> 00:18:11,997
Okay, you know what, you win.
586
00:18:11,999 --> 00:18:15,667
I'll have meaningless sex
with you and your friend.
587
00:18:15,669 --> 00:18:17,103
Really, no strings?
588
00:18:17,105 --> 00:18:20,038
Unless you want to tie us up.
589
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,608
Oh boy.
590
00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:24,076
Rose is your friend?!
591
00:18:24,078 --> 00:18:25,143
No.
592
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,111
What are you doing here?
593
00:18:26,113 --> 00:18:27,078
What's wrong?
594
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:27,645
Where's Charlie?
595
00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:28,480
With Jonathan.
596
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:32,717
I just came cause...
597
00:18:32,719 --> 00:18:34,719
nevermind.
598
00:18:34,721 --> 00:18:36,654
I'm Rose, one of the mothers
599
00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:38,889
of Harry's many kids.
600
00:18:38,891 --> 00:18:42,660
We're not at all together so.
601
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:43,495
Hi.
602
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,362
Hi.
603
00:18:44,364 --> 00:18:45,230
I'm Susan.
604
00:18:45,232 --> 00:18:46,564
And we're not dating.
605
00:18:46,566 --> 00:18:47,664
We're not serious.
606
00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:49,600
We were just having fun.
607
00:18:49,602 --> 00:18:52,136
Of course you are.
608
00:18:52,138 --> 00:18:53,537
Yeah!
609
00:18:53,539 --> 00:18:55,472
No, no no, it's not like that.
610
00:18:55,474 --> 00:18:58,375
Zoey, Michelle, and Janet made me do this.
611
00:18:58,377 --> 00:19:00,511
They wanted me to go out
with her to help Billy.
612
00:19:00,513 --> 00:19:02,446
What?
613
00:19:02,448 --> 00:19:04,248
You're using me to help Billy?
614
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:05,915
You wanted me to use you.
615
00:19:05,917 --> 00:19:08,084
Yeah, for sex!
616
00:19:08,086 --> 00:19:10,954
Not to make some kid happy!
617
00:19:10,956 --> 00:19:11,955
Gawd!
618
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:20,730
I should leave too.
619
00:19:20,732 --> 00:19:22,065
I'm just going to give her a minute
620
00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:23,700
so we're not sharing an elevator.
621
00:19:23,702 --> 00:19:24,701
Yeah.
622
00:19:27,938 --> 00:19:29,772
Are you mad at me?
623
00:19:29,774 --> 00:19:30,973
For what?
624
00:19:30,975 --> 00:19:32,775
Living your life?
625
00:19:32,777 --> 00:19:35,277
You should totally be hooking up with
626
00:19:35,279 --> 00:19:37,245
wild children's theater directors.
627
00:19:37,247 --> 00:19:40,248
And you should totally be dating wild...
628
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:42,617
fathers of Kyle.
629
00:19:45,155 --> 00:19:45,888
He's a good guy.
630
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:48,223
A great guy.
631
00:19:48,225 --> 00:19:49,058
And handsome.
632
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:51,093
Ehh...
633
00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:53,796
Look, and if you didn't
want to be with him,
634
00:19:53,798 --> 00:19:55,797
and wanted to be with
someone else you'd say that.
635
00:19:55,799 --> 00:19:56,764
Right?
636
00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:00,068
Absolutely.
637
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:03,638
I'm glad we're clear.
638
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,707
It's not good for Charlie when we're angry.
639
00:20:06,909 --> 00:20:08,276
And we are good parents.
640
00:20:08,278 --> 00:20:10,011
We are great parents.
641
00:20:10,013 --> 00:20:11,580
Let's keep it that way.
642
00:20:11,582 --> 00:20:12,914
Agreed.
643
00:20:12,916 --> 00:20:14,716
So we're okay?
644
00:20:14,718 --> 00:20:15,717
Yeah.
645
00:20:21,156 --> 00:20:23,791
Good.
646
00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:26,360
See, I told you it wouldn't get weird.
647
00:20:26,362 --> 00:20:28,395
Hi I'm Shelley, Susan's friend.
648
00:20:28,397 --> 00:20:31,833
Are there four of us now?
649
00:20:31,835 --> 00:20:33,968
Maybe a little weird.
650
00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:40,997
Okay kids, listen up.
651
00:20:40,999 --> 00:20:43,400
Ms. Bechdel has decided to not continue on
652
00:20:43,402 --> 00:20:45,101
with the play, but good news,
653
00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,304
I will be your volunteer director,
654
00:20:47,306 --> 00:20:49,139
and yes I'm Billy's Mom.
655
00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:50,173
Hey not fair!
656
00:20:50,175 --> 00:20:51,542
You're going to treat him differently.
657
00:20:51,544 --> 00:20:52,842
No I won't.
658
00:20:52,844 --> 00:20:54,243
He's going to be a tree like he was before.
659
00:20:54,245 --> 00:20:55,377
I want to be the tree.
660
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,713
Hey, but I'm the tree.
661
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,449
Maybe she could be a tree too and you could
662
00:20:59,451 --> 00:21:00,850
give her one of your words.
663
00:21:00,852 --> 00:21:01,684
Lines.
664
00:21:01,686 --> 00:21:03,686
Can I be a tree too?
665
00:21:07,991 --> 00:21:08,991
Oh, I should take this.
666
00:21:08,993 --> 00:21:10,426
Rose really put him through the wringer.
667
00:21:10,428 --> 00:21:11,627
Okay, that's it.
668
00:21:11,629 --> 00:21:13,863
You need to spend less time with Harry.
669
00:21:13,865 --> 00:21:15,096
Much less.
670
00:21:15,098 --> 00:21:16,164
Harry?
671
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:18,066
No this is one of Rose's ex-boyfriends.
672
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:21,302
He really needs a shoulder to cry on.
673
00:21:21,304 --> 00:21:22,337
Aren't you supposed to hang out at
674
00:21:22,339 --> 00:21:23,204
Bruce's tonight?
675
00:21:23,206 --> 00:21:24,238
Mm-hm, just one more episode.
676
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,907
Charlie loves Justified.
677
00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:28,042
You're letting Charlie watch it?
678
00:21:28,044 --> 00:21:29,778
Oh, I shouldn't be right?
679
00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:33,314
No, he's seen this one already.
680
00:21:33,316 --> 00:21:34,648
We're good parents?
681
00:21:34,650 --> 00:21:36,417
Yeah.
682
00:21:37,419 --> 00:21:38,019
Right! Right!
683
00:21:38,021 --> 00:21:40,288
Who's that?
684
00:21:40,589 --> 00:21:45,322
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