Original subtitles

She's been up in Thailand for six years.

There's just the small matter of you whacking my sister.

I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.

So I thought I'd do a little follow-up

on that brothel madam you were looking for.

Doreen Bognor's not missing.

But you were looking for her two weeks ago

and no-one's seen her since.

I got a big block of land in Redfern

that I reckon will make a terrific park, for the local kiddies to play.

I'm all about the local kiddies.

Yeah. Especially in an election year.

BILLY: Hey, how'd that lady copper go the other night?

Took your time taking her to the train station.

She got a cab home, for your information.

Next stop, Bangkok. Go on.

Sawadee ka!

We had a great thing going on, didn't we?

Now, who here's heard of the saying revenge is a dish served best cold?

Bowen Lager. The beer me and me mates drink.

(BELCHES)

You are a goddamn revelation.

I am? He is?

Let's sign him up before someone else does.

Les 'Hollywood' Norton.

He'll be asking for his own dressing room next.

I'll have to speak with his agent just to confirm his bloody shift.

LES: Turn it up, fellas!

Deadset, three grand for a hard day's work.

You would've jumped at it.

Not as fast as you did I bet.

I suspect you're all just jealous.

I think Les looks ace.

Thank you, Georgie.

Voice of reason as always.

Hey!

Edward! Good to see you. Gee, we missed you.

Where have you been lurking? Redfern, boss.

Redfern - soon to be home to the city's newest parklands gem.

Wait. We got the green light?

Yeah, minister reckons new park in a run-down part of the city,

perfect PR in an election year.

No, good to go as soon as the, ah, last tenant moves out.

Yeah, about that... There's been a bit of a snag.

What sort of a snag?

Well, I did like you said -

splashed the cash to make the tenants end their leases early,

and they all jumped except for this one bloke.

A Koori fella. Named Percy Kilby.

Aw, shit. What, a mate of yours?

I wouldn't exactly say that.

He's been running an Aboriginal charity down there

for years apparently.

Yeah, so what's the... what's the problem?

Doesn't his charity want me 25 grand?

No, quite the opposite.

I did a bit of digging.

Turns out his charity's main focus is on

receiving donations for the local community...

Mmm.

..and then dolling them out to the local TAB and massage parlour.

Oh, charming.

He's been rorting the local mob for years, boss.

Somehow he's caught wind of this land deal,

and he's holding on for a bigger slice of the pie.

Oh, yeah? How much bigger? Half a mil.

Ah! Half a mil!

Jesus, does this bloke know who I am?

He doesn't seem to care.

Now, I'd be happy to help him change his mind,

but somehow I don't think that's the kind of PR

that the minister's after.

Ah, you think?

Colourful racing identity orders bashing

of Aboriginal charity worker.

Papers would have a field day.

OK. So I...I can't let him stay, and I can't make him go.

Jeez, he's got me by the short and curlies, doesn't he?

Price, how about...

Nah.

No, come on, spit it out.

There's no such thing as a dumb idea at this point, son.

OK.

Have any of youse ever heard of the Boys from Binjiwunyawunya?

Where are they coming in from again?

Not sure, brother. They book their own flights.

Where's Binjiwunyawunya anyway? Binjiwunyawunya!

What did I say? Arnhem Land I think.

Or the Kimberleys maybe.

You know what, I'm not entirely sure.

You don't know? How'd you get onto them?

Bush telegraph.

I spoke to the uncles, and they spoke to some other uncles,

and they set it up for me.

So you don't actually know these blokes personally?

Nah, these fellas are proper outback black.

I'm only third-generation, brah.

How do you know they're gonna get the job done?

They'll get it done alright.

Billy Dunne to the rescue, yet again.

Ha. Pow.

I hope you haven't talked this up, mate.

Boss is expecting big things - his reputation's on the line.

And he'll get 'em.

As the old saying goes -

there's more ways to kill a cat than choking it with cheese.

(BABY CRIES)

Actually I think I might've fucked that up.

(DOG WHINES)

(CRIES CONTINUE)

(FUNKY ROCK MUSIC)

Welcome to Sydney, fellas.

Name's Billy Dunne.

Nice to meet youse.

G'day, fellas. How are ya? Les.

Nice to meet ya.

(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GROANS)

NARRATOR: So, while Les was busy

getting a crash course in the cold shoulder,

our Bangkok bangers were on the hunt for the big carrot top

and their missing 50 large.

But being new in town, Les was still an unknown quantity.

He'd been spotted a few times

working the heavy bag at Gail's baths in Coogee,

but today, the only heavy bags were on display

were jammed in the sluggos,

and none of their owners seemed that keen to help out.

Ditto the council workers in Bondi,

who were more interested in demolishing Chiko Rolls

and ice coffee Mooves

than helping a posse of Oriental men

find some random ranga.

No-one's seen him, boss.

Where is the sneaky redheaded fuck?

Look, wouldn't we be better off focusing on Price?

No!

Price is on high alert since wrong side.

You'd be mad to go at him headfirst.

Look, we've gotta take down his organisation piece by piece,

and Les Norton is the perfect place to start.

And how'd you figure that?

Well, his other two heavies are seasoned campaigners.

Word is, bloodnut's a rookie, low hanging fruit,

and if we can nail him away from work, even better.

You're probably right.

So for better or worse,

playing escort to the Boys from Binjiwunyawunya

was saving Les Norton's bacon.

Not that he was feeling real grateful just at that moment.

BILLY: Go on in, make yourselves at home.

Now, I'm sure the uncles mentioned

that none of this can be linked back to Price, yeah?

So you have to stay in here for the duration, incognito.

I made a deal with the publicans

so you have the room to yourselves all week.

Right. That's the mark there.

Direct line of sight, as requested.

Now, remember,

you're just here to scare the bastard to move out, nothing more.

Have I made myself clear?

(LES GROANS)

A little help, fellas...

Christ!

Ah! (SUITCASE THUMPS)

Les! What have you got in there?

A bloody bazooka?

Sorry, brother.

What do you think? Not too shabby, hey?

Yeah. Yeah, it's alright.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, decent. Decent size, top view.

Yeah, right.

Look at that - sounds like they're into it.

Don't look at me, brother. Third-generation, remember?

Ah! Yeah, of course.

Now, 50 large.

And the other half on completion.

And as for tucker, Les here will take care of anything you need.

He's dossing up in the room next door,

so if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask.

Think of him as your round-the-clock butler, eh?

Ah, actually mate, that might be a little tricky.

I'm on at the club tonight

I got Foghorn to cover your shifts. What about my training?

Heard sit-ups are pretty deadly.

Sit-ups?

Just until the boys are finished up here, OK?

Captain's call.

There you go, uncle.

Righto, then.

Ah, let's get you boys fed, eh?

How do some pies and sausage rolls sound?

Pies and sausage rolls?!

These blokes are professionals, Les. What the hell were you thinking?

I wasn't thinking sushi, that's for sure.

Who eats fuckin sushi?

Professionals do, obviously!

We're talking about elite operators here, Les.

Yeah? They'd wanna be, for that kind of money.

Or didn't you think I seen that?

Don't you worry about the money, tight-arse.

Just worry about keeping them happy, OK?

Oh, yeah? And what exactly is it they're doing again?

Hm?

I wanna know what they're doing if I'm looking after 'em.

OK.

Listen, they're highly regarded fixers

who are going to help us solve our little problem

without anyone getting hurt.

Is that right? Yeah.

Remind me again why you aren't looking after it.

You couldn't pay me to hang around them boys.

Look, it's a blackfella thing.

You're a gubba, it's different for you, OK?

Now, a little walking-around money.

Price said you can keep whatever you don't spend. Yeah?

Come on, brother, just make sure they're fed and watered

and leave 'em be.

Trust me, you won't even know they're here.

(CAR IGNITION RUMBLES) Have fun, brother.

(HONKS HORN)

(SCREECHES)

(DOOR SQUEAKS, SHUTS)

(SIGHS) What can I get you?

You wouldn't happen to know where the nearest sushi joint is, would ya?

Sushi?

Yeah.

First left after the train station,

then head north for about 6,000 miles.

(LAUGHS)

This is Redford, love.

You'd have more luck catching it yourself.

Terrific.

I don't know how you do it, Percy.

These things are fucking top-of-the-line.

It's easier than you think, dealing with fat cats.

The more you ask, the more they trust ya.

You're not worried old moneybags is gonna rock up to the community centre

and wonder where all these fancy VHSs have gone?

This bloke wouldn't come to Redford if I promised him a 12-inch dick.

Fuckin genius, cuz.

You should write a book!

Once this goanna Price Galese coughs up, maybe I will.

(LAUGHS)

RAY: Come on, boy, push! (WHIMPERS)

How about I hold your tail? Come on, here we go.

Push it out, that's it, come on.

Big push, come on, mate!

Oh! Poor thing's a little backed up.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Well, we could've done this over the phone

but you keep ducking my calls.

Yeah, the reason I didn't take your calls

is 'cause there's nothing to discuss.

Now piss off. I'm a busy man.

Yeah, I'm sure you are.

Must be so hard playing three sides at once.

No idea what you're talking about.

I think you do, Ray.

See, on the one hand you're a cop.

But on the other,

you've got a nice little deal happening with Price 'Gasleazy',

and then to top that all off,

you're giving my sister the high hard one.

Yeah. I wonder what old Pricey would think of that one.

He'd think you're full of shit.

Ah...really? I don't reckon.

Not when I show him the full security tapes from the brothel.

Yeah, see, I watched a lot.

Just sat down - me and a sixpack of West Coast.

You and my sister make such a cute couple.

Bet you're getting a half mongrel right now

being this close to her genetic double, right?

You're dreaming. I don't think so.

See, I taught her everything she knows.

Everything.

What did fuck do you want?

Revenge.

Right, we both know Price whacked Doreen - that's a fact.

So now I'm going to whack Price.

(LAUGHS)

What's funny? Well, you're an amateur.

You only get one shot at someone like Price Galese,

and you've already had yours, remember?

Or have you already forgotten about the whole wrong-side debacle, yeah?

I remember that just fine.

In fact it taught me a valuable lesson.

What's that? Just stick to low-end smut?

Never let a man to a woman's job.

Why are you telling me this?

'Cause you got Price's back, and when I take care of this job myself

I need you to look the other way.

That all, is it? Any idea who you're talking to?

Yeah, of course I have an idea.

You're Ray 'Thumper' Burrell, most feared cop in The Cross, right?

Husband to Edith, who's got a jazzy new hairdo.

Father to little Ray Jr,

who went down in a tight one this morning in the under-9's.

Mmm! Nail-biter.

Do you want me to go on?

Guess I'll leave you two to it.

Oh, if he's still backed up by tomorrow,

just lick your finger...

..and slide it up his date and wiggle it around a bit.

Usually does the trick.

But you'd know all about that, wouldn't you, lover boy?

(CAMERA SNAPS)

(DOOR SQUEAKS)

Mate, I don't know where you're from, but sushi's pretty hard to find.

I had to go all the way to Artarmon for this lot.

Not cheap either.

Plus the toll on the way back.

And the other stuff? There,

Are you serious?

I asked for gourmet cooking.

Not tabloid gossip.

What? Turn it up, sport.

Besides, I'm not sure you're going to have that much time

for culinary exploits,

not with all the work you're here to do.

(SCOFFS) Hard at it, I see.

We do our job, you do yours.

Stuffed olives, avocado pears...

Are you sure you don't want me to get you caviar while you're at it?

Yeah, yeah, it's on the bottom.

And, oh... Mud crabs, two dozen.

See, now I know you're taking the piss.

And fresh. Won't work otherwise.

Course it bloody is.

Have a good night. Thank you.

Benny? Hey.

Foghorn.

Les, how's it hanging?

I've been better, to tell the truth. I heard.

Billy tells me you've been doing a spot of babysitting.

Yeah, something like that.

Bit of a fall from grace, isn't it? Mmm?

I'd have a word to my agent about that.

(LAUGHS)

Quick word, William.

Hey.

What's up? They started yet? How would I know?

I don't even know what they're doing, remember.

So why the hell are you up here for?

Les, you're supposed to be on hand in case they need anything!

That's what I'm bloody doing. They sent me up for mud crabs.

Mud crabs? Bloody hell. I know, right?

Meant to be a cheap solution, these bastards costing me a fortune.

How many? What?

Mud crabs. How many are they after? Oh, I don't know...two dozen.

Two dozen! Shit!

What, what, what, what, what? What's that mean?

Nothing. It's just going to be hard to find at this hour, that's all.

This is bullshit.

Les... No, you know that.

They've got you on the hop and they're having a complete lend.

Don't let them hear you say that! Or what?

Or what might happened to Percy Kilby might happen to you too.

Yeah? And what's that again?

Listen, Bryce's paying these blokes big money, yeah?

All they've done so far is take the piss.

They fair dinkum fixers or the next Margaret Fulton?

They'll pull it off, don't you worry about that.

Oh, I hope so...for your sake.

You don't want to get on the big man's wrong side.

Speak for yourself.

Your cop girlfriend dropped by earlier.

Told me to tell you to give her a call.

Be careful there too. Mmm?

Now, duck up to Mr Chow's at McClay Street.

Bryce has a tab. Just say the crabs are for him, yeah?

Now, off you go, chop-chop.

Bullshit. (LAUGHS)

Say goodbye to Hollywood!

(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) It's alright, Big Red.

He's not happy. Not at all.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

NARRATOR: Now, Les Norton wasn't really the superstitious type.

In fact, he was a card-carrying nonbeliever

when it came to things that go bump in the night.

But between the boys from Binjiwunyawunya,

black cats, room 13, and now broken mirrors,

he was starting to wonder if he should reconsider his membership.

(GLASS TINKLES)

(STARTS CAR)

That them?

Two dozen muddies.

Fresh as.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Billy Dunne might've come down in the last shower

but Les Norton wasn't born yesterday.

Before I hand these beauties over,

you better tell me what the hell you're gonna do with them.

We're gonna eat 'em!

What...

(INDISTINCT SOUNDS)

The trainer reckons he'll come good just in time for the Cox plate.

Ah, nice form. I like a horse with a big arse.

Yeah, just back from a spell. It's given him a new lease of life.

Hey, how's...how's Redfern coming along?

Yeah, we're good. Very keen to get things started.

Oh, that's what I like to hear.

So, ah, how's it going your end?

You been able to piss off all the tenants?

Oh, mate, we're...yeah, yeah, you know, we're perilously close.

Close?

No, close...close won't cut it, mate.

We need it untenanted, no tenants, government policy.

If you can't do that, ah, might have to go with the other mob.

Hang on. Hold your horses. What other mob?

It's politics, mate. There's always another mob.

Well, you're not gonna get better bang for your buck then Redfern.

You know that, right? Well, maybe, maybe not.

There's a lady out in Blacktown

who has a very large block of land right near the station.

In Blacktown! What do you care about fucking Blacktown?

Mate, there are a lot of voters out in Blacktown, and I like my voters.

Now the Premier's got it in his head

that some Sydney shithole's getting a park.

That will happen before the next election, one way or another.

Now, who is this woman anyway?

Ah, Bognor, Bognor... Bogner...Bogner.

Yeah, apparently she's some big developer out west.

You won't have to go out west.

You can trust me with that.

Yeah, I bloody hope not.

You seen the Gallup polls?

The opposition are within four points of us.

I don't think I need to remind you how fond they are

of the proposed casino legislation.

Well, I'm not paying them, am I? I'm paying you.

Now, you'll get your vote-winning land...

..on time, untenanted...

..guaranteed.

It was your idea in the first place.

I'm working on it, boss. What's there to work on?

Just tell the boys we're running out of time.

I did already, but these fellas don't have the same

understanding of time as other people.

Well, they got the same understanding of 100,000 bucks, don't they?

Seems like that, boss. Yeah, right.

Well, just tell them to bloody pull their fingers out.

Copy that.

Jeez, you look like I feel.

Noisy sleepers, you lot.

Listen, I just spoke to Billy.

He wants to know if youse can get a wriggle on.

Going fast as we can.

Can you give me a rough time frame?

Well, not really, but it'll be quicker if you stop bugging us.

Look, you can take the piss out of me all you want.

The boss ain't the kind of guy you want to disappoint.

To speed it up, I'm gonna need something from you, then.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

Kilby's blood.

His actual blood?

Oh, that's all!

Here I was thinking it was gonna be something outrageous like caviar

or fucking sushi!

And, let me guess...has to be fresh?

No flies on you, Les.

NARRATOR: Now, Les was never one to shy away from a challenge.

And it's not like he was a stranger to spilling a bit of claret

for a good cause.

But in the past, the other bloke was usually aware of

what that fist hurtling towards his nose was all about.

This Kilby situation was going to require tact and subtlety.

And no-one had ever accused Les of having either.

I'm telling ya, blokes at the builder's yards couldn't get enough.

Looks like they never saw a fucking VCR before.

(TOILET FLUSHES) Oh...

Ooh, I'd give that a wide berth.

Looks like a Pro Hart painting in there.

Been squirting from both ends all night.

I was gonna say, you're looking a bit off.

What's with the whole...

Oh, I don't know.

I woke up this morning, it's been playing up.

Conjunctivitis or some bloody thing.

That's no good.

Probably didn't help that I slept like shit.

Was dreaming of these three blackfellas in the desert,

chasing me, wearing nothing but Ugg boots.

Must have owed them money. Yeah, probably.

Speaking of money - still no word from Price?

Not yet.

But I saw a bunch of them government types out the front

with clipboards and tape measures.

Pretty soon he's got no choice but to pony up!

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

That must be him now.

Can I help ya?

Oh...yeah, I'm looking for Mr Kilby.

That is me, and who are you?

I'm Le...Len Nordberg.

And where are you from, Mr Nordberg?

Ah...South Africa.

South Africa? Yeah.

Haven't got much of an accent, have you?

Oh, ja...ja.

It's still there alright. How's it?

And...what are you doing all the way over here, then?

Funny you should ask that.

Ah...I actually run a charity back home for underprivileged children.

Oh, so you're in the charity game too?

Oh, ja, ja, ja.

And I...I heard about the wonderful work you two fellows were doing

and I thought I might come down here and say thank you

on behalf of all the underprivileged people of the world, you know?

This's very decent of you.

So, how much are you thinking of donating?

How much?

Yeah, 'cause we couldn't do what we do

without financial support from around the world.

Isn't that right, Mr Palings? That's right.

See, it's the difference between hope and despair

in a neighbourhood like ours.

You'd understand that being a philanthropist and all.

Ja...ja.

Ah...how does...

..how does $10 sound? Ten bucks?!

Oh, that's very generous, Mr Nordenberg.

But we only take donations in hundred dollar increments.

Come again? It's the law.

And cash, obviously, otherwise the government gets their hands on it

and then, poof, there's nothing left for the kiddies.

It's an absolute disgrace.

Ja...ja.

It sure is.

Ah, do you think I could get a receipt for that for my bookkeeper?

Yeah, no, my accountant's out today, but we'll jot down your address

and we'll pop it to you in the mail. Ja.

Oh! Oh, my gosh. Mr Kilby!

Oh, my goodness. Mr Kilby, are you OK?

No! Get off me, you clumsy prick! Oh. I'm so sorry.

What the hell is the matter with you?

I'm such a klutz, you know. Are you OK?

I'm OK. Just leave me the fuck alone.

Sorry.

Here, Percy.

What the fuck?!

Where'd it go?

Where'd what go? The fire!

In here?

I seen it. It was huge. From across the road.

You feeling alright, Les?

Might have been the sun on the glass, hey?

Go put your feet up.

It's fucking bush magic, isn't it?

You got me babysitting a trio of bloody voodoo witchdoctors.

Oi! Keep your voice down.

It's not like that.

Oh, it's not, is it? So what's it like, then?

We just... We don't call them that.

They're spirit men.

They're what?!

Feather feet.

You know, sort of like Indigenous hit men.

You've gotta be joking. You told me no-one's getting hurt.

And they won't, brother.

They're not here to whack Kilby,

they're just here to scare him, that's all.

How can you be sure?

Do you even know what they're actually doing up there?

Not exactly. And quite frankly, I don't wanna know.

But they're pros and they have their instructions,

so it's all kosher.

So this spirit business...

..it's legit.

What do you mean, legit?

Legit legit. Like it actually fucking works.

Well, it hasn't been tested at the CSIRO, if that's what you're asking.

But the Uncles swear by it.

My mob's been doing it for a bloody long time.

Well, if it's that good, why don't youse...

Why don't youse cut to the chase and tell Kilby he's been boned?

'Cause he has to figure it out for himself or it won't happen.

How's that work?

It's all about self-awareness, brother.

Kilby's spirit's the one that's doing all the damage.

What if he doesn't work it out?

Trust me, there isn't a blackfella alive

that hasn't heard the camp fire stories

of these blokes and their bones.

Kilby will start to feel a little bit crook - just some little...

Like a...like a bung eye?

Yeah, something like that.

And then, a day or two later, he'll start to feel proper crook.

Be going downhill real fast.

Drag himself to the doctors,

but the doc won't know what's going on with him.

Say to him, he's the healthiest blackfella he's ever seen.

But Kilby will still have a foot in the grave.

Start to be getting nightmares, be getting spooked and shit.

And that's when the penny drops. Mm?

That's when he realises that something's up,

and he's outa there faster than a rat up a drainpipe.

He'll cancel his lease, no-one gets hurt,

the boss is happy, problem solved.

I'm telling ya, just take a load off and let them do their thing.

You look like you could use a drink.

It's that obvious, is it?

Just wondering if you've got any XXXX back there?

We used to.

Publican changed it out for that Bowen Lager rubbish.

Terrific.

Just an OJ, please.

WOMAN: I didn't know who else to talk to.

I figured you'd understand my predicament

after our little chat the other night.

And...and you're sure it was Thumper? Yeah, absolutely.

I was jogging past, I spotted them straightaway.

I went over to say hello and that's when I saw the brothel madam.

The...the...missing brothel madam?

I couldn't believe it.

I've been nagging him for weeks to look into her disappearance,

he doesn't want a bar of it.

Now there they are hanging out like long-lost friends.

It doesn't make sense, right?

Well...well, at least she's not missing.

Yeah, but why not just say that?

Why all the cloak and dagger?

You'd have to ask Ray. (LAUGHS)

And I would, but...

..for a minute there I was worried she'd been, you know...

(LAUGHS)

Has Thumper been acting strange around you guys?

I...I barely know the bloke.

Look, I'm no expert on any of this.

Who's to say what you saw exactly? I know what I saw.

Look, even if it was her...

..there's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this.

Such as?

My grandma used to say,

to get through life you should know everyone, trust no-one,

paddle your own canoe.

I'm not sure I understand.

Well, there's no point you sticking your nose in it, is there?

Not if you want to continue being a cop.

As far as I can tell, cops don't like dobbers.

You reckon I should pull my head in?

Yeah.

I mean, it's in pretty good nick from here.

(LAUGHS)

I can't believe I'm taking career advice from a red-headed doorman.

Yeah, well, my bill's in the mail.

How about a feed instead? My shout.

Another time maybe, huh?

Yeah, I'm just waiting on these blokes to finish work.

Fair enough. (LAUGHS)

Another time, then.

Yeah.

Thanks again, Les.

NARRATOR: Truth be told,

Les could think of nothing better than grabbing a free feed

with the spunky young probationary constable.

But right now he was starting to feel a bit queasy

at what he'd helped set in motion.

Not as queasy as the mark, but.

(BURPS LOUDLY)

Jeez, Perce, that one sounded like it had a bit of follow-through.

You sure you don't want to see a doctor?

Ah, stop being such a narc and pour me some more vino.

Here's to the local kiddies.

And to dodgy South African do-gooders, eh?

I don't know about that. Never liked South Africans.

Horrible bloody accent.

His especially.

Still, they're bloody generous.

(BOTH LAUGH)

# Burst my bubble, baby

# Burst my bubble, baby

# That's my trouble, baby

# That's my trouble, baby

# Maybe I've been lazy Thank you.

# Maybe I've been lazy for you... #

Come on! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Ooh!

Perce...you alright in there?

Ooh!

That second round of garlic prawns wasn't such a good idea.

They're repeating on me something horrid.

You're not feeling off at all? Nah, mate.

I feel fine.

Must have been the scampi.

Maybe it's emotional.

(BURPS) Ohh. Bloody hell.

Oh!

(VOMITS) (WOMAN SCREAMS)

Oh. So gross.

Oh, toughen up, princess.

You've heard worse.

Now kill the lights and let's get on with it.

NARRATOR: So while Kilby had a full-on dose of the shits,

our friends from the Land of Smiles weren't far behind.

They'd been traipsing all over town for the last two days

looking for Les.

Not having any luck,

the Thai crew had no choice but to cut to the proverbial chase

and head to the one place they were sure they'd find him.

Just give me a break, mate. I'm from Jakarta.

My Thai's shit.

(GUNS CLICK)

Look, he's supposed to be here Thursday through to Saturday, OK?

I don't understand.

(WOMAN LAUGHS) Oh...

(CHUCKLES) Hello, sailor.

(HORN HONKS) Shit.

Friends of yours?

Lets go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

(PHONE RINGS)

Price Galese.

Hello, top of the morning to you. Oh, Minister.

Jeez, a little bit early, isn't it?

I didn't expect you to get out of bed until well after lunch.

(CHUCKLES) Well, I wouldn't want to miss this.

Flick on the ABC. Hmm?

Communities deserve the same access to public spaces as the rest of us,

especially the kids.

So it's with great excitement

that I can announce the creation of a designated parkland

on the vacant site behind me...

Mmm? You like that?

..with a view to opening it to the public by this time next year.

Now, obviously...

Ask and ye shall receive, my friend.

(CHUCKLES) So, no walking it back now, eh?

(LAUGHS) Well, I just didn't think it'd happen so quickly.

Yeah, well, the boss decided to, uh...move ahead

sooner rather than later.

Didn't want it to look like a cheap election stunt, you know?

Yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah, yeah. Well, that's terrific, isn't it?

I knew you'd be pleased.

Well, let me know when you're free,

and you can take me out to a very, very long lunch.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, OK. Yeah, yeah, no problem. OK.

Talk to you soon. I'll speak to you later. Bye-bye.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Hey.

50,000. 50,000, that's my final offer.

Mr Galese, I was wondering when you'd call.

Yep, 50,000, take it or leave it. I'm not going to go a cent higher.

Final offer? Really? Yep, that's well and truly.

Because I'm watching the Premier announce the deal.

Vacant site?

Does he know something I don't?

'Cause I'm very much sitting here on a legally binding lease.

Well, that's exactly why I called.

Look, you know, listen, we're all grown-ups here.

50 grand, that's a lot of money.

Not as much as half a mil, but.

No, that's true, but it's not worth anything

unless you're around to spend it.

You think I'm worried about your old-school Maltese bullshit?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. It's not my old school, mate.

Jeez, are you threatening me?

Because my lawyer would look very gravely on that.

Hey, this is fucking extortion, you little fucking...

No, now, now, now.

Calling me names won't do anything.

In fact, don't bother calling me again until you're fair dinkum.

Hey, hey, mate, I'm warning you...

Because I might have changed my mind by then.

(VOMITS)

Everything OK?

Hey, tell Billy to get that prick out of there today,

or I'm going to go up there and I'm going to drag him out myself.

You got it.

Fucking hell.

Hmm, I don't know. The local beers already have

such a strong foothold up there.

True, but there's something about Bowen Lager we feel

will cut through - Thailand especially.

And you'd be interesting in licensing the brand, is that it?

On one condition.

We want the original marketing campaign.

It is pretty special, isn't it?

The Asian market is very masculine

and red hair is also a symbol of great virility in our culture.

Oh.

Uh, who is he, if you don't mind me asking?

Uh, his name is Les Norton.

(CHUCKLES) He's magnificent.

(LAUGHS) Can I let you in on a little secret?

I discovered him. Where?

In my front room.

He's my flatmate.

You're joking. (CHUCKLES)

ALL: Mmm.

Mmm!

Hey? Hey, hey?

(LAUGHS)

So, that's it? There's no way to speed this up?

We've been tracking fellas for years before we got 'em.

You don't understand. We'll all be dead by then, brother.

It's in the contract.

Look, can we get real here?

I mean, I understand the whole self-awareness thing,

but there's gotta be some kind of magic short cut

to get things moving.

Like we did with the blood.

What, you're joking? That was bullshit?

What, it did nothing? Not nothing.

It kept you out of our hair for a few hours so we could concentrate.

90% of what we do is up here.

I don't believe it.

Maybe that's your trouble, Les.

Price is going to have a coronary.

Nah, I'm sure he'll understand.

This is Price Galese we're talking about.

Yeah, exactly.

Brother, you've only met lovable Uncle Price,

the man about town.

Mmm. But he wasn't always like that.

He came from the street, bra.

And now that this deal is going to fall through,

costing a million five,

plus the hundred kay he's out to the boys,

if I don't fast-track this thing,

I'm going to be a fucking dead man.

MAN: Come on, Perce.

I don't think this is just a tummy bug, mate.

What the fuck would you know?

Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?

You got bits coming off all over the place.

It's time to see a doctor, I reckon.

What's he gonna say?

Keep your fluids up, stay off the piss?

At least go home and rest up.

Yeah, more dreams of crazy blackfellas in Ugg boots?

No, thank you. It's just gastro. It's not gonna kill me.

What about what Price said about getting all old school?

Sounded pretty scary to me.

How 'bout I duck up the road and... and get you something to drink, hey?

Bottle of Lucozade do you a world of good.

Yeah, that might be good, yeah. Yeah, ta.

OK.

Ohh...

(DOOR SHUTS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(KNOCKS AT DOOR)

(GROANS)

(GROANS) Jesus. Not you again.

Oh, Mr Kilby.

I...I hope you feel better.

Oh, top of the moon!

Ah, yeah, look, I was just in the, ah, neighbourhood,

and I wonder if we could have a quick chat?

You can ask me anything, but don't come any closer, you clumsy prick.

Oh, look, I'm...I'm actually inquiring about

maybe opening one of my charity branches in, ah, Australia.

And, you know, after seeing the plight of the local community,

I thought Redfern might the.. the perfect location.

What's that got to do with me?

Well, look, I was inquiring about

buying the hotel across the road for my, ah, branch headquarters,

and the...the agent, he took me on a tour.

I noticed there was three Aboriginal men camped in one of the rooms.

Look, I - I've had really bad gastro for the last few days.

I'm not feeling 100%.

And real estate's not really my game.

Oh, well, it's not so much a... a real estate question.

I mean, it's more advice.

I was wondering if you think I'd have a problem

with asking them to clear out.

At the Raffles? Wouldn't think so.

It's par for the course in this country.

Oh! Oh!

That's a huge relief!

Yeah-no - no, no, because I got nervous.

They had a bloody camp fire going in the middle of the room

and it just made me freak out a bit.

In the room itself?

Yah, yah.

They're sitting around it and they're all just chanting.

When was this? Day before yesterday.

Ah... What did these fellas look like?

They were quite odd, to be honest, yeah.

I...I've never seen a black man with blue eyes,

I mean, let alone three of them.

Three blackfellas with blue eyes?

Yah!

Yah, and they're all just sitting around and chanting and pointing

more or less in this general direction.

I... Pointing?

Where were they pointing?

I'm not sure.

The moon?

Were they pointing at the moon?

I - I couldn't tell - not through all the smoke.

I mean, if you say there's nothing to worry about, then...

Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?

You've got bits coming off all over the place.

What about what Price said about getting all old school?

PRICE: Hey, son. It's not my old school.

I've never seen a black man with blue eyes.

They had a bloody camp fire going in the middle of the room.

Sitting around and chanting and pointing.

It's not worth anything unless you're around to spend it.

Kings Cross? MAN: Yeah, get in.

As quick as you can!

What the hell did you tell him?

Didn't have to say much at all, brother.

90% of it's up here.

Well, look at you!

Price won't believe his ears! (LAUGHS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Everything's in order, Mr Galese.

(BELCHES)

(COUGHS) Well, look, we can deal with this later

if you're not feeling up to it.

Oh, nah.

I'd prefer to get it done now, if you don't mind.

Alright, fair enoughski.

Well, everything seems to be correct.

Oh, terrific!

Look, the only outstanding issue then is the...

..well, the price.

The price? Yeah.

The contract's dated last week, which means the terms have expired.

They have? Yes.

Well, look, all we've gotta do is enter into our new negotiations

to see what you're gonna accept to terminate the lease.

You know what?

I'll take the 25 grand.

In hindsight, it's... it's more than generous.

Oh, look, I appreciate that, but, um, the market's shifted

since last week.

Well, I'm willing to take a little bit less, if you think that's fair.

Ah, let's say 20, eh?

Um, well, look...look, I'll think about it.

How about we get together again next week to discuss it?

15, no questions asked.

10...

..is more than fair, under the circumstances.

Why don't we... why don't we call it even?

I'll vacate the premises by the close of business,

assuming you can, you know, the whole...

Hey.

I'll have it sorted for ya.

Oh.

Thanks so much, Mr Galese. Thank you.

Well, there's one for the books, eh, boss?

Yeah, well, I have to say I didn't think Billy had it in him.

You and me both.

Hey, give Billy a call, will you? Tell him to call the boys off.

And, um, he can pay them the other half.

Mission accomplished.

LES: Deadset?

I'm still not convinced about you mob.

Ah, what are you talking about, Les?

The results speak for themselves.

How do you know it wasn't just gastro?

Does it really matter? Not to me, it doesn't.

Or what?

You can just turn it off, then? Easy as that?

This thing's been around for 40,000 years.

Been a while since anyone read the instructions, brother!

(LAUGHS) Well, that's reassuring.

Are you right to give us a lift to the airport?

Nothin' - and I mean nothin' - would make me happier.

('SHAPE I'M IN' BY JO JO ZEP AND THE FALCONS PLAYS)

Cheers, mate. MAN: No worries.

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

No. No, no, no.

(HORN BLARES)

This place is a wreck! We can't keep living like reprobates!

I'll cook dinner tonight.

What's that? Maybe a lobster pot, mate.

Will we go have a look? No, mate.

Can't just go and special some bloke's lobsters.

What do you reckon that is?

(SNIFFS) Whoo!

That's cocaine.

We all good, boss?

Yeah, yeah, I... Show's over. I think we've made our point.

Your probation period's up next month.

Decided not to renew it.

Consider this your notice.

What?

BILLY: That amount of blow is always owned by someone.

You're gonna be one dead redhead, brother.

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation