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1
00:00:36,377 --> 00:00:40,973
Here are your brother's things.
Sign here, Mr Kingdom.
2
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,692
The sea always gives up its dead.
3
00:00:46,657 --> 00:00:48,090
Thanks, Neil.
4
00:01:19,097 --> 00:01:22,646
- All right, Ted?
- All right. Beautiful morning, Sidney.
5
00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:25,774
1,050 millibars and holding,
over the Azores.
6
00:01:33,617 --> 00:01:35,369
(INHALES DEEPLY)
7
00:01:35,457 --> 00:01:40,326
Again? How many times do you want me
to sue the Planning Authority, Mr Snell?
8
00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:43,011
They can't build a car park there,
it's not right.
9
00:01:43,097 --> 00:01:44,610
From memory, this'll be the 17th time
10
00:01:44,697 --> 00:01:46,528
you've brought an action
on the same issue.
11
00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:48,812
- Eighteenth.
- Eighteenth? Oh, forgive me.
12
00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:50,774
One of them must have
slipped through my synapses.
13
00:01:50,857 --> 00:01:53,655
- But they're wrong.
- Well, they may well be wrong, Mr Snell,
14
00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:56,126
and I sympathise,
but they have the law on their side.
15
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,651
They've been through
all the usual rigorous procedures.
16
00:01:58,737 --> 00:02:02,047
As I recall, you appealed, it went
through three separate courts of inquiry
17
00:02:02,137 --> 00:02:04,173
and all the way up to the Secretary
of State for the Environment.
18
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,976
All of whom, at some point,
you tried to sue or legally challenge.
19
00:02:07,057 --> 00:02:10,254
You even tried to sue the barristers
I engaged to argue your case in court.
20
00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:11,929
They gave me the wrong advice.
21
00:02:12,017 --> 00:02:16,408
No, Mr Snell, I gave you the advice
and it remains the same. Drop it.
22
00:02:16,497 --> 00:02:19,330
Ah, but I've been doing some research.
23
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,525
(GRUNTS) Just leave them down there,
will you, Mr Snell?
24
00:02:22,617 --> 00:02:24,255
I'll pick them up
and go through them later.
25
00:02:24,337 --> 00:02:26,567
Oh, and I'll need legal aid.
26
00:02:27,937 --> 00:02:31,612
- Why can't he wash?
- I think he does. It's his clothes.
27
00:02:31,697 --> 00:02:34,848
Over the years they've become
impregnated with his unique signature.
28
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,575
He means well.
29
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,171
Where would the world be
without people like Snell?
30
00:02:39,257 --> 00:02:40,736
A lot fresher.
31
00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:43,208
It's not entirely his fault.
32
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,334
Millie's new charcoal diet
isn't helping.
33
00:02:46,937 --> 00:02:51,408
- Morning.
- Now, sort, read, inwardly digest,
34
00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:54,170
and bring your sharp legal mind to bear
on whether there's a case
35
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,488
- against the Planning Authorities.
- I've got my own case?
36
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,489
Market Shipborough's very own
Jarndyce v Jarndyce.
37
00:03:00,577 --> 00:03:04,331
- Snell versus everybody else.
- This came for Simon.
38
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:07,250
Just file it with the others, would you?
39
00:03:07,337 --> 00:03:09,487
Don't suppose there was anything
from the bank, was there?
40
00:03:09,577 --> 00:03:10,646
No.
41
00:03:14,097 --> 00:03:18,215
- I picked these up yesterday.
- Would you like me to...
42
00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:22,051
No, I'll have to go through them.
The police will probably want them back.
43
00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:24,810
- You all right?
- Me? Gosh, yes. Yes.
44
00:03:24,897 --> 00:03:26,853
Never been all righter.
45
00:03:27,777 --> 00:03:29,768
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)
46
00:03:35,697 --> 00:03:36,891
Cheers.
47
00:03:38,137 --> 00:03:42,528
An hour and a half. Do I look 60?
48
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,291
Not yet. Ask me again at midnight.
49
00:03:47,337 --> 00:03:52,206
Ninety minutes left of living
and then it's downhill all the way.
50
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,051
Sheila?
51
00:04:31,377 --> 00:04:32,446
Sheila!
52
00:04:33,297 --> 00:04:35,652
(PHONE RINGING)
53
00:04:35,737 --> 00:04:37,216
Peter Kingdom.
54
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,645
Oh, no. When?
55
00:04:44,137 --> 00:04:45,729
PETER: Lyle?
56
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,489
Lyle! Lyle!
57
00:04:50,417 --> 00:04:54,695
- Sheila Larsen, Larsen with an "en".
- Ah, here we are.
58
00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:57,211
Last will and testament,
dated a year ago. How did she...
59
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,491
You screamed?
60
00:04:58,577 --> 00:05:02,331
I bellowed manfully.
You'll know when I scream. Probate.
61
00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:04,726
A heart attack, they think.
Possibly a stroke.
62
00:05:04,817 --> 00:05:06,045
But I'm on Planning.
63
00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:08,810
And there you were thinking nothing
ever happens in Market Shipborough.
64
00:05:08,897 --> 00:05:11,252
No, what I said was,
it's not quite London.
65
00:05:11,337 --> 00:05:14,249
Well, maybe,
but we have our prominent citizens.
66
00:05:14,337 --> 00:05:16,328
Should you stay on after your articles,
67
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,295
and should life sadly run its course
for some of our clients,
68
00:05:19,377 --> 00:05:23,052
I can promise you the estates
of two television presenters,
69
00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:26,447
a thrash metal drummer, and an actor
who played a sex offender in The Bill.
70
00:05:26,537 --> 00:05:29,097
Can London boast that? I think not.
71
00:05:30,577 --> 00:05:32,772
No, Millie. This is business.
72
00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:35,087
I'll take this puppy.
73
00:05:35,777 --> 00:05:38,689
PETER: Oh, I understand that next
to the lure of London's bright lights,
74
00:05:38,777 --> 00:05:42,656
Market Shipborough must seem like
a very dozy East Anglian backwater.
75
00:05:42,737 --> 00:05:44,090
Point is, here you belong.
76
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,408
Practising law in London
is like... light beer.
77
00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:51,809
It may look like law and smell like law,
but when you swig it right down,
78
00:05:51,897 --> 00:05:55,810
it doesn't have the same effect.
Here it's more human. Morning, Jim.
79
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,572
You know everyone, everyone knows you.
John, sorry.
80
00:05:59,657 --> 00:06:02,729
You make a difference,
that's the point. Hmm?
81
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,125
Parking's just as crap, though.
82
00:06:13,377 --> 00:06:15,891
LYLE: Wow. Now those are cars.
83
00:06:16,737 --> 00:06:20,491
Sunglasses, Lyle.
You're a solicitor, not a hitman.
84
00:06:24,537 --> 00:06:26,687
Damien. Peter Kingdom.
85
00:06:27,697 --> 00:06:30,609
This is my articled clerk,
Lyle Anderson.
86
00:06:30,697 --> 00:06:32,767
Gosh, last time I saw you,
you were, what?
87
00:06:32,857 --> 00:06:33,892
Seven.
88
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:37,208
During Mum and Dad's divorce.
He bought me a football.
89
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:40,255
Did I? I'm afraid
that is the devil of being a lawyer.
90
00:06:40,337 --> 00:06:42,055
We're only ever around during a crisis.
91
00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:45,573
I'm so sorry about your mother.
She was such a life force.
92
00:06:45,657 --> 00:06:47,409
59 is no age.
93
00:06:47,497 --> 00:06:48,725
Well, it was to her.
94
00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:52,366
It's probably a good thing.
She hated getting old. So...
95
00:06:52,817 --> 00:06:55,047
- Shall we go through?
- Mmm.
96
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,848
So, who found her?
97
00:06:58,937 --> 00:07:02,009
Some bloke called Rupert.
You heard of him?
98
00:07:02,097 --> 00:07:03,416
I didn't catch his surname.
99
00:07:03,497 --> 00:07:05,852
Rupert? No, I think
I'd remember a Rupert.
100
00:07:05,937 --> 00:07:07,734
Oh, right, so he's not
in the will, then?
101
00:07:07,817 --> 00:07:10,331
Not as far as I'm aware, no.
102
00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:13,807
I checked the wardrobes upstairs.
He certainly wasn't living with her.
103
00:07:13,897 --> 00:07:16,889
Last thing we need is
some leech of a boyfriend
104
00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:20,049
crawling out of the woodwork
and spoiling the inheritance.
105
00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:21,616
Well, quite.
106
00:07:21,697 --> 00:07:23,335
(BUBBLING)
107
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:25,896
Sorry.
108
00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:34,293
To be honest, I just want this whole
thing wrapped up as soon as possible.
109
00:07:34,377 --> 00:07:36,527
I can't be schlepping up here all hours.
110
00:07:36,617 --> 00:07:38,494
Well, I'll certainly bear your request
in mind.
111
00:07:38,577 --> 00:07:43,093
But you should remember that our client
is your mother's estate, not you.
112
00:07:43,177 --> 00:07:45,691
Our job is to gather in the assets,
pay the debts,
113
00:07:45,777 --> 00:07:48,052
and then distribute the residue
amongst the beneficiaries.
114
00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:52,255
Just pull your finger out, will you?
And don't rack up the fees.
115
00:07:52,657 --> 00:07:55,490
(CLEARING THROAT) Then we can
get this thing done and dusted.
116
00:07:55,577 --> 00:07:58,296
What's your brother make of all this?
117
00:08:02,457 --> 00:08:04,812
He does know your mother's dead?
118
00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:11,852
I mean, what a tosser.
Why should we help him?
119
00:08:11,937 --> 00:08:13,814
Tosser or not,
we're not working for him,
120
00:08:13,897 --> 00:08:17,492
we're working for his mother.
Death, especially sudden death,
121
00:08:17,577 --> 00:08:22,207
often leaves a great deal unsaid and
a whole heap of unanswered questions.
122
00:08:22,297 --> 00:08:24,891
Without us, many families
would tear themselves to pieces.
123
00:08:24,977 --> 00:08:28,811
Ah, here we are.
The other son. Mark Larsen.
124
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:32,894
- You can manage on your own, can't you?
- Are you having a laugh?
125
00:08:32,977 --> 00:08:36,128
Only I have to find somewhere to park.
126
00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:38,731
Mind you, you should find it a doddle
without this to carry.
127
00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:40,250
Oh, Lord.
128
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,013
- Has she gone?
- Who?
129
00:08:45,097 --> 00:08:48,328
- Mrs Thing.
- Where?
130
00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:50,494
Oh, never mind.
131
00:08:55,657 --> 00:08:59,775
- Is Mr Kingdom in?
- No, I'm afraid he isn't, Mrs...
132
00:09:00,497 --> 00:09:03,091
Well... He's out.
133
00:09:07,977 --> 00:09:10,491
Look, I don't know how long it is
since you two haven't spoken,
134
00:09:10,577 --> 00:09:13,728
or what the reason is, but it ends here,
do you understand?
135
00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:15,614
Decisions are gonna have to be taken
136
00:09:15,697 --> 00:09:18,450
which need the pair of you
to be on speaking terms.
137
00:09:18,537 --> 00:09:21,813
- It wasn't me, it was him.
- Oh, great start. Thank you.
138
00:09:21,897 --> 00:09:24,491
- We're different people, Mr Kingdom.
- No, you're different.
139
00:09:24,577 --> 00:09:25,851
Oh, is that right?
140
00:09:25,937 --> 00:09:28,929
Well, look at me and tell me you haven't
already been through Mum's stuff
141
00:09:29,017 --> 00:09:31,531
and picked out the best bits
for yourself.
142
00:09:31,617 --> 00:09:34,973
- Why would I do that?
- I don't know why, you just do.
143
00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:37,571
Do you have a brother, Mr Kingdom?
144
00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:42,456
My position isn't relevant.
Look, it's very simple.
145
00:09:42,537 --> 00:09:45,210
After a few donations,
the residue of your mother's estate
146
00:09:45,297 --> 00:09:48,494
is split between the pair of you,
all right?
147
00:09:48,577 --> 00:09:52,013
But she specifically wanted this
dealt with first,
148
00:09:52,097 --> 00:09:54,736
the contents to be shared between you.
149
00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:04,013
- These yours?
- I don't think so.
150
00:10:04,097 --> 00:10:07,089
- Well, she wanted you both to have them.
- Well, they're crap.
151
00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:09,930
Hang on, they're not some modern artist,
are they?
152
00:10:10,017 --> 00:10:14,056
You know, Tracey whatever,
or Damien thingy, are they?
153
00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:15,775
Emphatically not.
154
00:10:15,857 --> 00:10:19,213
- Then what the hell's she playing at?
- Perhaps she thought you'd like them.
155
00:10:19,297 --> 00:10:21,094
Well, she was wrong.
156
00:10:23,817 --> 00:10:26,968
Please, just sort out the money.
157
00:10:32,977 --> 00:10:34,205
Sorry.
158
00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:37,171
- I'm glad Mum chose you.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
159
00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:39,851
Well, we'll try not to let her down.
160
00:10:47,257 --> 00:10:50,806
- Beatrice?
- Anywhere here's fine. Have you got £20?
161
00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:54,927
(STAMMERS) What are you doing here?
162
00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:56,496
Staying. Not for long.
163
00:10:56,577 --> 00:10:59,296
Couldn't stand it any longer,
so I checked myself out.
164
00:10:59,377 --> 00:11:03,416
Do you have anyone that could help me
with these? Ooh, perfect.
165
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,091
Anyone making tea? Hello, Millie.
166
00:11:06,177 --> 00:11:07,326
Wow.
167
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,966
- You can't.
- Well, she's... She's my sister.
168
00:11:12,857 --> 00:11:14,176
(SIGHS)
169
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:16,769
- Mr Kingdom?
- Yes.
170
00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:20,975
Rupert Bennett. I was with Sheila Larsen
and I come about money.
171
00:11:21,057 --> 00:11:23,127
Oh. Well... Rupert Bennett?
172
00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:25,651
I'm afraid there's no provision
for a Rupert Bennett in the will.
173
00:11:25,737 --> 00:11:29,446
Oh, no, I'm not after
that type of money. I'm a male escort.
174
00:11:29,537 --> 00:11:33,576
She hired me to sleep with her
for the night. This is my invoice.
175
00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:14,249
- I always liked this room.
- Yes, well, don't go getting ideas.
176
00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:16,692
Last night was
a purely temporary measure.
177
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,496
- Where did you sleep?
- Sofa.
178
00:12:19,577 --> 00:12:23,456
- Why?
- Why? Because the floor is uncomfortable
179
00:12:23,537 --> 00:12:25,892
and Millie hogged the basket.
180
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,055
Does Gary know you're here?
181
00:12:29,137 --> 00:12:32,095
Course not. What's it got to do
with him if I want to discharge myself?
182
00:12:32,177 --> 00:12:34,737
Well, it is usually a joint decision,
isn't it?
183
00:12:34,817 --> 00:12:38,014
It's a private clinic.
I can make up my own mind.
184
00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:40,810
Anyway, you know how I hate it
when people get clingy.
185
00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:45,015
You didn't sleep with him? Tell me
you didn't sleep with your doctor!
186
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:48,009
Why is it all my fault?
He slept with me, too.
187
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,165
Sugar.
188
00:12:55,577 --> 00:12:58,410
With the light behind you,
you could've been Simon.
189
00:12:58,497 --> 00:12:59,816
I don't think so.
190
00:12:59,897 --> 00:13:02,730
No, of course not.
You're much too awkward.
191
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,285
(SIGHING) Not so much milk, either.
192
00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:13,329
(WHISPERING)
What are you gonna do with her?
193
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,726
Well, maybe...
194
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,091
Bugger.
195
00:13:45,697 --> 00:13:49,690
LYLE: Great, everyone else I qualified
with is in and out of the High Courts.
196
00:13:49,777 --> 00:13:53,087
Me? I move your old toys
round Market Shipborough.
197
00:13:53,177 --> 00:13:56,487
Well, that's because they made
the mistake of getting good degrees
198
00:13:56,577 --> 00:13:59,011
from well-regarded universities.
199
00:13:59,097 --> 00:14:03,409
Your genius, Lyle, was to avoid
such an obvious route to legal stardom.
200
00:14:03,497 --> 00:14:05,613
No other candidate I interviewed
201
00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:08,655
chose his uni on the basis of
there being a snooker room
202
00:14:08,737 --> 00:14:10,853
in every Hall of Residence.
203
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:14,566
The essential quality for success
is to be yourself and you, Lyle,
204
00:14:14,657 --> 00:14:20,015
have mastered the art of yourself-ness
to a higher degree than...
205
00:14:20,657 --> 00:14:23,774
Well, to a higher degree
than you managed to get in your finals,
206
00:14:23,857 --> 00:14:25,290
if I can put it that way.
207
00:14:25,377 --> 00:14:27,493
Have you got a screwdriver?
208
00:14:28,217 --> 00:14:29,570
Thank you.
209
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:34,573
Just shove them down there,
I'll deal with them later.
210
00:14:36,657 --> 00:14:38,534
(MILLIE GROWLING)
211
00:14:41,737 --> 00:14:43,295
(PETER CLEARS THROAT)
212
00:14:43,377 --> 00:14:46,528
Uh, Sheila Larsen,
according to the bank statements,
213
00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:49,689
has been using this Rupert guy
214
00:14:49,777 --> 00:14:52,211
about twice a month
for the past six years.
215
00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:55,607
Yes, well, sadly, Rupert is gonna have
to wait in the queue for his money
216
00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:57,096
like everybody else.
217
00:14:57,177 --> 00:15:00,806
Pop quiz, Lyle.
Order of distribution of estates?
218
00:15:00,897 --> 00:15:03,047
Mortgages first,
and then funeral and our expenses.
219
00:15:03,137 --> 00:15:04,206
Exactly.
220
00:15:04,297 --> 00:15:08,370
One reason why being a solicitor
is more rewarding than soliciting.
221
00:15:08,457 --> 00:15:11,415
- Next?
- Inland Revenue and Customs and Excise.
222
00:15:11,497 --> 00:15:15,251
Yes. After which Rupert and others
can present their bills
223
00:15:15,337 --> 00:15:18,170
for services rendered. And then?
224
00:15:18,257 --> 00:15:21,249
Specific legacies and finally,
residues to the boys.
225
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,895
Excellent.
226
00:15:22,977 --> 00:15:26,970
Yes, banks, funeral directors,
tax collectors, lawyers and whores
227
00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:31,812
all come before family in the eyes of
probate law. It's interesting, isn't it?
228
00:15:32,377 --> 00:15:36,734
She was using this Rupert for six years,
which is exactly the length of time
229
00:15:36,817 --> 00:15:39,570
her sons haven't been on speaking terms.
230
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,296
Families are weird.
231
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,446
(MILLIE GROWLING)
232
00:15:44,537 --> 00:15:46,653
She's still growling at me.
233
00:15:49,217 --> 00:15:52,448
Yes. Yes, they are weird, aren't they?
234
00:15:53,097 --> 00:15:56,567
Off you pop back to the Larsens.
See what you can find.
235
00:16:10,977 --> 00:16:13,207
(WATER SLOSHING AROUND)
236
00:16:51,017 --> 00:16:52,211
Oi!
237
00:16:57,977 --> 00:17:01,014
Oh, hey. Now then, you can't do this.
238
00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:05,136
I'm with Kingdom Solicitors.
We're the executors of her estate.
239
00:17:10,577 --> 00:17:11,896
Peter?
240
00:17:12,937 --> 00:17:16,009
Problem. You'd better come over.
241
00:17:19,337 --> 00:17:21,373
The cars weren't hers. They were leased.
242
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:25,166
A bit heavy-handed to grab them back
when she only just died, isn't it?
243
00:17:25,257 --> 00:17:27,976
No, she was behind with her payments.
They sent her letters.
244
00:17:28,057 --> 00:17:30,207
The fact that she died
was just a coincidence really.
245
00:17:30,297 --> 00:17:31,776
They were gonna take them back anyway.
246
00:17:31,857 --> 00:17:34,371
And I found all these
under the spare bed.
247
00:17:34,457 --> 00:17:36,288
Doesn't look like
she opened her post for months.
248
00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:40,052
Oh, credit cards. February.
Right up to the limit.
249
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:41,775
15,000?
250
00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:45,574
Well, looks like there's a lot of work
to be done, doesn't it?
251
00:17:47,217 --> 00:17:52,291
- Is there some sort of leak?
- Might be. Yes.
252
00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:13,050
- Mr Kingdom.
- Oh. Mr Snell, what a pleasant surprise.
253
00:18:13,137 --> 00:18:14,775
I was wondering how the case was going.
254
00:18:14,857 --> 00:18:17,894
Oh, oh, really very well,
very good indeed, yes.
255
00:18:17,977 --> 00:18:19,854
What do you think of what I turned up?
256
00:18:19,937 --> 00:18:22,610
- Uh, turned up, remind me.
- In the papers.
257
00:18:22,697 --> 00:18:24,927
Oh! Well, in fact, I was so intrigued,
258
00:18:25,017 --> 00:18:27,895
I gave them to my young associate here,
Mr Anderson, for a second opinion.
259
00:18:27,977 --> 00:18:29,649
Oh, so you think
we've got a chance, then?
260
00:18:29,737 --> 00:18:32,126
- Only we've gotta stop them.
- Well, it's something we must discuss.
261
00:18:32,217 --> 00:18:35,015
It's very complex.
There's lots of Latin.
262
00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:37,770
Oh, I know. So you'll ring me
and let me know when to come in?
263
00:18:37,857 --> 00:18:42,408
Well, yes, only perhaps not so much in
as in the open air. Yeah?
264
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,374
- Oh, you do that, do you?
- Oh, yes.
265
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,288
Yes, we lawyers are much more outdoors
these days.
266
00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:50,529
The stuffy days of the stuffy solicitor
in his stuffy office are long gone.
267
00:18:50,617 --> 00:18:51,732
Yeah.
268
00:18:52,857 --> 00:18:56,611
I'll deal with all those.
You plough straight into Snell's papers.
269
00:18:56,697 --> 00:19:00,451
The quicker he realises he has no case,
the quicker we get rid of him.
270
00:19:00,537 --> 00:19:04,815
And the quicker this town gets
its much-needed bloody car park built.
271
00:19:05,257 --> 00:19:06,406
Peter?
272
00:19:11,537 --> 00:19:15,371
I don't mind the company,
it's the staring I draw the line at.
273
00:19:15,457 --> 00:19:19,006
- Staring?
- It's not a lounge.
274
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:24,491
- I'm not a television. I have to work.
- I'll have a word with her.
275
00:19:25,057 --> 00:19:27,776
- No, you won't.
- I will.
276
00:19:27,857 --> 00:19:29,575
I know you.
277
00:19:33,177 --> 00:19:35,088
She's all you've got.
278
00:20:48,857 --> 00:20:51,894
I've no idea who she is.
Where did you find her?
279
00:20:51,977 --> 00:20:55,413
In Simon's wallet.
So he, um... He never mentioned her?
280
00:20:55,497 --> 00:20:57,647
(CHUCKLES) Well, you know Simon.
281
00:20:57,737 --> 00:21:00,888
He never talked
about anything of substance.
282
00:21:00,977 --> 00:21:04,174
Though I'm sure he had
more than his fair share of girls.
283
00:21:04,257 --> 00:21:07,693
Take it from me, I'm a woman,
I know these things.
284
00:21:07,777 --> 00:21:09,847
Do you think they'll ever find his body?
285
00:21:09,937 --> 00:21:13,486
Well, after six months
it seems unlikely.
286
00:21:13,577 --> 00:21:16,137
Well, I'm just pleased your father
wasn't here to have to deal with it.
287
00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:19,846
He had a hard enough time with Beatrice.
Do you visit her?
288
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:25,208
- Which institution is she in now?
- My institution.
289
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,533
Is that wise?
290
00:21:29,217 --> 00:21:33,210
- It's just the way it is, you know.
- You are good, Peter.
291
00:21:33,297 --> 00:21:37,051
Everything always falls
on your shoulders, doesn't it?
292
00:21:37,137 --> 00:21:42,165
When your father had Alzheimer's,
Beatrice, Simon...
293
00:21:44,577 --> 00:21:47,091
How long before
he's officially declared dead?
294
00:21:47,177 --> 00:21:49,168
Six and a half years.
295
00:21:52,137 --> 00:21:54,890
Hard to think you're now my only nephew.
296
00:21:54,977 --> 00:21:56,410
Mmm.
297
00:21:56,497 --> 00:21:58,488
Is it that time already? Oh, my.
298
00:21:58,577 --> 00:22:01,649
- Peter, walk me to the dining room.
- Of course.
299
00:22:03,937 --> 00:22:05,211
Okay.
300
00:22:09,257 --> 00:22:13,170
- Have you heard of dogging?
- Um, yes, Aunt Auriel, I have.
301
00:22:13,257 --> 00:22:15,930
Really? Oh. Oh, it was news to me.
302
00:22:17,057 --> 00:22:19,093
Difficult enough
to do it in a car at all,
303
00:22:19,177 --> 00:22:22,647
without the heavy-breathing brigade
staring in at you.
304
00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:28,090
The old Rover had bench seats
in the front.
305
00:22:28,177 --> 00:22:31,010
You're a wicked
and insane old woman, Auriel.
306
00:22:31,097 --> 00:22:35,170
- Why don't you stay for some soup?
- Um, yes. Yes, why not? Absolutely.
307
00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:45,535
- I'd rather you didn't do that.
- Do what?
308
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,771
Hey, do you mind?
309
00:22:50,857 --> 00:22:54,247
You can have them back.
I just want some copies first.
310
00:22:54,697 --> 00:22:58,326
She's stolen my keys.
I'm not putting up with this, Peter.
311
00:22:58,417 --> 00:23:00,408
I'm not some football
to be kicked around.
312
00:23:00,497 --> 00:23:02,613
No, you're right.
313
00:23:02,697 --> 00:23:04,289
You've also had a fax
from the Land Registry
314
00:23:04,377 --> 00:23:06,368
about the charges
on Sheila Larsen's house.
315
00:23:06,457 --> 00:23:08,175
That should cheer you up.
316
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,525
- Are they sure?
- That's what it says.
317
00:23:13,617 --> 00:23:17,371
- Who am I to doubt?
- You're not gonna believe this.
318
00:23:17,457 --> 00:23:19,971
- Snell has got a case.
- What?
319
00:23:20,457 --> 00:23:22,493
He's got grounds for appealing
against the Planning decision.
320
00:23:22,577 --> 00:23:24,807
No, no, that's impossible.
321
00:23:32,497 --> 00:23:34,169
Oh, God.
322
00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:57,046
Can Gloria have her keys back?
323
00:23:57,137 --> 00:23:59,970
She had to break into her own house
tonight.
324
00:24:03,897 --> 00:24:07,128
At least she has a house.
Never owned anything.
325
00:24:07,217 --> 00:24:10,095
- Never been allowed.
- Beatrice.
326
00:24:10,177 --> 00:24:12,566
So which room's going to be mine?
327
00:24:19,217 --> 00:24:21,526
Oh, it'll need redecorating.
328
00:24:21,617 --> 00:24:24,051
But I...
I thought you weren't staying long.
329
00:24:24,137 --> 00:24:27,493
Well, I have a right to be comfortable.
And I want my own entrance.
330
00:24:27,577 --> 00:24:29,295
- Beatrice, I can't do that.
- Course you can.
331
00:24:29,377 --> 00:24:31,572
One of those big metal staircases
up the outside.
332
00:24:31,657 --> 00:24:33,056
No, this is a listed property.
333
00:24:33,137 --> 00:24:35,935
The internal and external features
have to be in keeping.
334
00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:38,815
- In keeping with what? That's absurd.
- Well, it's the law.
335
00:24:38,897 --> 00:24:41,286
Well, whoever said
that the law is an ass was right.
336
00:24:41,377 --> 00:24:43,845
Well, it may well be an ass,
but it's a stubborn one.
337
00:24:43,937 --> 00:24:49,694
And, I may point out, it's also an ass
that keeps you in vodka and high heels.
338
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:55,127
What is it you want from me?
What are you after?
339
00:24:56,057 --> 00:25:00,573
You want me to be grateful, is that it?
Grateful that you're my brother?
340
00:25:06,857 --> 00:25:12,329
PETER: Is that better? Hello?
Oh, hell, blast, pants and damnation.
341
00:25:14,297 --> 00:25:17,175
It's the only place you can get
what passes for a phone signal
342
00:25:17,257 --> 00:25:18,531
in Market Shipborough.
343
00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:22,576
Mr Snell successfully contested
the building of a phone mast.
344
00:25:23,457 --> 00:25:25,607
Mind you, wonderful view.
345
00:25:26,377 --> 00:25:28,413
I reckon in our time
we've done the conveyancing
346
00:25:28,497 --> 00:25:32,046
for just about every building
as far as the eye can see.
347
00:25:42,177 --> 00:25:44,611
Ah, so there's no doubt, then?
348
00:25:44,697 --> 00:25:47,655
What I just don't get
is why you sold the cars.
349
00:25:47,737 --> 00:25:50,968
Did it not occur to you
that maybe we might like them?
350
00:25:51,057 --> 00:25:54,049
Certainly more of an inheritance
than finger paintings.
351
00:25:54,137 --> 00:25:57,288
Yes, but I didn't sell them.
They were taken back.
352
00:25:57,377 --> 00:25:59,891
- Back? What do you mean, back?
- Well, she didn't own them.
353
00:25:59,977 --> 00:26:01,092
They were leased.
354
00:26:01,177 --> 00:26:03,611
Rubbish. What would she do that for?
She had loads of money.
355
00:26:03,697 --> 00:26:05,494
Oh, for once in your life
would you just be quiet?
356
00:26:05,577 --> 00:26:07,454
Oh, oh, it does speak.
357
00:26:09,057 --> 00:26:11,776
How well do you think
you knew your mother?
358
00:26:11,857 --> 00:26:14,769
(SCOFFS) What sort of dumb question
is that?
359
00:26:14,857 --> 00:26:17,690
As well as any child knows their parent.
360
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:20,928
Did she give you any money
during her lifetime? Any gifts?
361
00:26:21,017 --> 00:26:22,211
No, not to me.
362
00:26:22,297 --> 00:26:27,655
- Well, I got a tie for my last birthday.
- No, I mean large financial gifts.
363
00:26:28,897 --> 00:26:31,650
She said she'd give everything to us
once she's gone.
364
00:26:31,737 --> 00:26:35,525
Look, when can we get probate
so we can have the house?
365
00:26:35,617 --> 00:26:38,689
Well, you see, that's the trouble.
She didn't own the house.
366
00:26:38,777 --> 00:26:39,892
What?
367
00:26:39,977 --> 00:26:42,810
She took out a mortgage on the property
and then last year,
368
00:26:42,897 --> 00:26:46,048
she took out a second one.
So now the banks own most of the house
369
00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:49,527
and in return
she got a large sum of money in cash.
370
00:26:49,617 --> 00:26:52,768
Thank God for that.
Had me worried for a minute there.
371
00:26:52,857 --> 00:26:56,736
Yes, but the problem is,
we can't find any trace of the money.
372
00:26:57,217 --> 00:26:58,570
Well, what are you saying?
373
00:26:58,657 --> 00:27:02,855
I'm saying that the best part
of £1,000,000 has disappeared.
374
00:27:07,177 --> 00:27:09,850
Just doesn't make sense.
375
00:27:09,937 --> 00:27:13,771
I mean, if you had that kind of money
lying around somewhere, hidden,
376
00:27:13,857 --> 00:27:16,087
why would you be up to the limit
on your credit cards,
377
00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:17,974
paying extortionate interest,
378
00:27:18,057 --> 00:27:20,935
and only repaying the minimum
every month?
379
00:27:21,697 --> 00:27:25,576
If you gave away that sort of money,
who would know about it?
380
00:27:26,497 --> 00:27:30,172
You should ask Ted. He knows everything.
381
00:27:38,497 --> 00:27:40,374
Oh, we get them in all the time.
382
00:27:40,457 --> 00:27:43,255
Especially now
we've started doing Thai food.
383
00:27:43,337 --> 00:27:49,173
See this one, Brenda. Husband left her
for a younger model three year ago.
384
00:27:49,537 --> 00:27:55,169
Financially, never been more secure.
Emotionally, complete wreck.
385
00:27:55,817 --> 00:27:57,045
Was she a friend of Sheila's?
386
00:27:57,137 --> 00:27:59,446
Oh, yeah,
everyone was a friend of Sheila.
387
00:27:59,537 --> 00:28:02,973
If that Jacuzzi of hers could talk,
make your hair curl.
388
00:28:03,057 --> 00:28:04,888
You never get an invite?
389
00:28:04,977 --> 00:28:08,856
Once, but there was a documentary
on mudskippers I had to watch.
390
00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,131
Really?
391
00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:13,890
Am I the only one
who never got an invite?
392
00:28:13,977 --> 00:28:15,729
Too late now.
393
00:28:15,817 --> 00:28:18,377
So, did Sheila throw her money around?
394
00:28:18,457 --> 00:28:20,368
If she did, then like the rest of her,
395
00:28:20,457 --> 00:28:23,927
she never threw it in this direction.
Look at this.
396
00:28:30,177 --> 00:28:33,726
There, that's what she died owing me.
397
00:28:33,817 --> 00:28:35,045
Good Lord.
398
00:28:35,137 --> 00:28:38,174
That's the gross national product
of a small African nation.
399
00:28:38,257 --> 00:28:42,614
Never knew her pay cash.
Occasionally she'd settle a bit on it.
400
00:28:43,937 --> 00:28:46,292
So you never saw her
with large sums of money?
401
00:28:46,377 --> 00:28:49,289
If I had, I'd have wrestled it from her.
402
00:28:49,817 --> 00:28:54,937
Funny, though, I always got a feeling
something sad there, behind her eyes.
403
00:28:55,417 --> 00:28:58,727
Don't think she's that happy
about one of her boys.
404
00:28:58,937 --> 00:29:02,612
(TSKING) I can't believe
I never got an invitation.
405
00:29:03,977 --> 00:29:08,493
- Ah, just the man I wanted to see.
- Yeah, but not now. I'm... I'm working.
406
00:29:09,817 --> 00:29:12,809
- Come round tomorrow.
- Oh, right. Yes.
407
00:29:13,657 --> 00:29:17,047
- Usual, please, Ted.
- Two banana daiquiris? Umbrellas?
408
00:29:17,137 --> 00:29:19,571
- One with, one without.
- Right-o.
409
00:29:23,777 --> 00:29:25,176
Nice lad.
410
00:29:26,097 --> 00:29:30,409
With him you don't have the worry
about the humiliation of rejection.
411
00:29:32,977 --> 00:29:38,131
- Hello. Is that... Does Peter know?
- Well, he will when he gets home.
412
00:29:39,417 --> 00:29:41,533
And don't think of telling him.
413
00:29:41,617 --> 00:29:44,131
Despite what you must have heard
about me, I can make my own decisions.
414
00:29:44,217 --> 00:29:46,253
I'm not a little girl.
I don't need his approval.
415
00:29:46,337 --> 00:29:47,929
No, I'm sure you don't.
416
00:29:48,017 --> 00:29:51,134
If I want to redecorate,
that's exactly what I'll do.
417
00:29:51,217 --> 00:29:53,094
I live here, too, now.
418
00:30:00,337 --> 00:30:02,897
- Can I help you?
- Well, I'm not sure.
419
00:30:02,977 --> 00:30:05,810
I was given this address
as belonging to a Mr Rupert Bennett?
420
00:30:05,897 --> 00:30:07,615
Rupert? What's your name?
421
00:30:07,697 --> 00:30:10,495
- Peter Kingdom.
- A Peter Kingdom for you!
422
00:30:10,577 --> 00:30:12,533
- Come in.
- Thank you.
423
00:30:12,617 --> 00:30:15,336
He's only just got up.
He was working last night.
424
00:30:16,417 --> 00:30:17,691
Really?
425
00:30:20,177 --> 00:30:22,088
- You all right?
- Um, yes.
426
00:30:22,177 --> 00:30:25,886
- You want some tea?
- No, thanks, I've just had some.
427
00:30:25,977 --> 00:30:29,014
- Have you brought me my money?
- Sadly, no.
428
00:30:30,497 --> 00:30:32,772
Ah, it's all right.
Suzie knows what I do.
429
00:30:32,857 --> 00:30:35,166
- There's no secrets here.
- Ah.
430
00:30:35,937 --> 00:30:40,169
Well, um, it seems that Sheila Larsen
got rid of a great deal of money
431
00:30:40,257 --> 00:30:42,134
before she died.
432
00:30:42,217 --> 00:30:43,935
What, and you think I took it?
433
00:30:44,017 --> 00:30:47,134
No, I just wondered
if you had any ideas.
434
00:30:47,977 --> 00:30:51,652
- You think I blackmailed her?
- No, no. I was wondering if...
435
00:30:51,737 --> 00:30:54,297
If she'd mentioned anything to you.
436
00:30:54,377 --> 00:30:56,845
- What, pillow talk?
- Lf you like.
437
00:30:58,257 --> 00:31:00,134
Well, the only time
Sheila and I mentioned money
438
00:31:00,217 --> 00:31:02,287
was on the first night she hired me.
439
00:31:02,377 --> 00:31:05,847
- Did she seem worried about money?
- No, she drank.
440
00:31:05,937 --> 00:31:09,088
Yes, but she didn't drink
that much money.
441
00:31:09,177 --> 00:31:12,931
Ted mentioned that Sheila seemed sad.
442
00:31:13,017 --> 00:31:16,805
Look, I'm in a sad business.
Everyone who hires me is sad.
443
00:31:17,457 --> 00:31:19,493
But I did once find her crying.
444
00:31:19,577 --> 00:31:22,455
It upset her
that her two sons weren't speaking.
445
00:31:22,537 --> 00:31:24,926
I remember her saying,
when everything else is gone,
446
00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:27,087
family's all you've got left.
447
00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:29,293
- Yes.
- She wasn't wrong.
448
00:31:30,657 --> 00:31:32,887
You don't think he could be lying?
He is a gigolo.
449
00:31:32,977 --> 00:31:37,448
What a sweetly old-fashioned word.
No, no, I believe him. Lyle? Lyle!
450
00:31:40,537 --> 00:31:43,210
- Any news on the pension fund front?
- Nothing.
451
00:31:43,297 --> 00:31:46,972
She didn't take out any life policies,
either. In fact, she cashed two in.
452
00:31:47,057 --> 00:31:52,575
What on earth has she done with it all?
And that would be who exactly?
453
00:31:52,657 --> 00:31:57,128
- Ah, yes. I was gonna tell you.
- Oh, God, what colour has she chosen?
454
00:31:57,217 --> 00:32:00,368
Black. A very black black.
455
00:32:00,457 --> 00:32:03,096
Oh, and I set up that meeting
with you and Mr Snell.
456
00:32:03,177 --> 00:32:05,975
- With me?
- Well, I'm far too busy.
457
00:32:13,457 --> 00:32:18,770
Now, they plan to build
the new supermarket over there,
458
00:32:18,857 --> 00:32:22,566
with car parking for 200 cars
over there.
459
00:32:22,657 --> 00:32:24,568
And here's where the service road'll be.
460
00:32:24,657 --> 00:32:29,208
So which part
is the area of contention exactly?
461
00:32:29,297 --> 00:32:32,255
Here. According to the plans,
all this is owned by the Council.
462
00:32:32,337 --> 00:32:34,055
- But it isn't.
- It isn't?
463
00:32:34,137 --> 00:32:38,255
No. They don't own this bit.
464
00:32:40,457 --> 00:32:43,733
- Well, who does?
- I do.
465
00:32:44,617 --> 00:32:47,973
You see, originally, all this
was land as owned by the nursery
466
00:32:48,057 --> 00:32:50,048
and they tried to sell it off
in the 1930s.
467
00:32:50,137 --> 00:32:52,571
Hence Honeysuckle Lane
and Rose Bush Gardens.
468
00:32:52,657 --> 00:32:54,807
Are you all right, Mr Kingdom?
469
00:32:54,897 --> 00:32:59,288
- Mrs Thing.
- Who? Oh, right, anyway...
470
00:33:00,737 --> 00:33:03,535
Now, you see
that this is the designated land
471
00:33:03,617 --> 00:33:05,687
sold all like little boxes.
472
00:33:05,777 --> 00:33:07,495
But the boxes never quite met,
473
00:33:07,577 --> 00:33:10,728
so there's a patch of land
they never bought.
474
00:33:11,097 --> 00:33:14,692
Yes, but on the original
planning application...
475
00:33:14,777 --> 00:33:17,416
Ah, so they only assumed they owned it.
476
00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:19,613
So I went back to the family
who originally owned it,
477
00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:22,734
tracked through the successors in title,
and bought it.
478
00:33:22,817 --> 00:33:25,126
- How much for?
- £10.
479
00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,287
Mr Snell,
you're an aggravating nuisance,
480
00:33:28,377 --> 00:33:31,449
a tiresome pedant and a complete genius.
481
00:33:32,217 --> 00:33:35,209
That land cannot be developed
without your permission.
482
00:33:35,297 --> 00:33:37,049
I know.
483
00:33:37,137 --> 00:33:40,174
Though God knows
what we'll do for parking now.
484
00:33:47,457 --> 00:33:49,846
She'd done it before we could stop her.
485
00:33:49,937 --> 00:33:52,929
- I'll speak to her.
- Well, do this time.
486
00:33:53,017 --> 00:33:55,451
She's a strong woman, your sister.
487
00:33:56,457 --> 00:34:02,168
- You were right. Snell has got a case.
- Well, I'm very rarely wrong.
488
00:34:02,377 --> 00:34:05,175
But how's the Sheila Larsen estate
adding up?
489
00:34:05,257 --> 00:34:07,009
Not quite so well.
490
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:13,090
Mmm, £20,000 to a care home.
491
00:34:15,977 --> 00:34:18,286
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
492
00:34:24,617 --> 00:34:26,369
(BEATRICE SQUEALING)
493
00:34:29,457 --> 00:34:31,334
(BEATRICE MOANING LOUDLY)
494
00:34:34,977 --> 00:34:37,730
Hey! Come back.
495
00:34:39,057 --> 00:34:41,366
Oh, it's you.
496
00:34:48,697 --> 00:34:50,096
(SIGHS)
497
00:34:52,097 --> 00:34:56,613
- You are still taking your medication?
- Of course. I'm not stupid.
498
00:34:57,457 --> 00:34:59,573
Anyway, I don't get as violent
as I used to.
499
00:34:59,657 --> 00:35:00,931
Good.
500
00:35:02,577 --> 00:35:05,216
Try not to drink too much
when you're on it.
501
00:35:05,297 --> 00:35:09,336
- It's not a good combination.
- You won't make me go back, will you?
502
00:35:09,937 --> 00:35:14,533
If you do, I might have to report Gary
to the General Medical Council.
503
00:35:18,657 --> 00:35:19,976
Thank you.
504
00:35:20,977 --> 00:35:24,367
It seems to be my vocation,
getting people out of trouble.
505
00:35:25,697 --> 00:35:27,767
- Do you miss him?
- Simon?
506
00:35:29,857 --> 00:35:31,210
Every day.
507
00:35:32,137 --> 00:35:35,174
And every day not knowing
just makes it worse.
508
00:35:35,257 --> 00:35:39,535
I don't know how you have the time
to think about so many other people.
509
00:35:39,617 --> 00:35:42,893
Look at you, wrapped in your shell
with your suit and your ties,
510
00:35:42,977 --> 00:35:46,526
and your eternally
irritating politeness. What is it?
511
00:35:47,577 --> 00:35:48,930
Protection?
512
00:35:50,137 --> 00:35:53,971
- Or for keeping everybody out?
- You tell me.
513
00:35:54,697 --> 00:35:57,848
- Do people take advantage of you?
- I don't think so.
514
00:35:57,937 --> 00:36:01,247
- Only you.
- Yeah, but I'm family.
515
00:36:18,817 --> 00:36:22,776
20,000? Silly Shelia
516
00:36:23,497 --> 00:36:26,489
I wouldn't have thought
she had 20,000 left to give.
517
00:36:26,577 --> 00:36:31,526
- Oh. So you knew her quite well, then?
- Very well, Mr Kingdom.
518
00:36:32,137 --> 00:36:36,847
I knew her for over 30 years.
I think I knew her better than anybody.
519
00:36:36,937 --> 00:36:39,770
Well, why, then,
would you say that you would've thought
520
00:36:39,857 --> 00:36:41,734
she didn't have 20,000 left?
521
00:36:41,817 --> 00:36:44,456
Everyone else I spoke to,
including her children,
522
00:36:44,537 --> 00:36:46,573
seemed to think she was rather well off.
523
00:36:46,657 --> 00:36:49,888
- Was there anything else in the will?
- Such as?
524
00:36:51,097 --> 00:36:54,294
Was she specific
about any other arrangements?
525
00:36:55,097 --> 00:36:56,610
I'm not sure I follow.
526
00:36:56,697 --> 00:36:59,848
Oh, I suppose
she never thought it would happen.
527
00:37:01,097 --> 00:37:03,292
I have to show you something.
528
00:37:07,497 --> 00:37:11,126
Your eyes are younger than mine.
Is this a "D" or a "G"?
529
00:37:13,657 --> 00:37:15,090
It's a "K".
530
00:37:17,657 --> 00:37:20,171
Hello? Sorry, can't hear you.
531
00:37:20,537 --> 00:37:23,005
I'm sorry,
but I really am powerless to help.
532
00:37:23,097 --> 00:37:26,646
Although my brother's dead, he isn't.
Not legally at any rate.
533
00:37:26,737 --> 00:37:30,491
In effect, my brother's affairs
are frozen, in limbo.
534
00:37:30,577 --> 00:37:33,967
No longer in this world,
but not yet in the next.
535
00:37:34,657 --> 00:37:38,013
- Sorry I couldn't be more help.
- Fax just came through.
536
00:37:38,097 --> 00:37:41,533
- Family Records Office.
- Lyle, you'd be wasted in London.
537
00:37:41,617 --> 00:37:43,414
Sheila Larsen, is it?
538
00:37:44,337 --> 00:37:47,056
(EXHALES) If only people
didn't keep secrets,
539
00:37:47,137 --> 00:37:50,015
life would be so much simpler,
wouldn't it?
540
00:37:55,777 --> 00:37:59,292
- What do you think?
- Well, personally I don't like you.
541
00:38:00,017 --> 00:38:05,045
- But professionally, you're a client.
- I was talking about the car.
542
00:38:08,657 --> 00:38:09,885
PETER: Hello.
543
00:38:09,977 --> 00:38:14,573
So, are we in for a colouring set
or have you found the missing money?
544
00:38:14,657 --> 00:38:16,648
- Uh, yes. Yes, I have.
- Ah!
545
00:38:16,737 --> 00:38:19,205
You may find the news disappointing.
546
00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:21,811
On the face of it,
your mother was a pretty wealthy woman,
547
00:38:21,897 --> 00:38:24,331
but I'm afraid
the reality was very different.
548
00:38:24,417 --> 00:38:27,136
Her major asset, the house,
was doubly mortgaged.
549
00:38:27,217 --> 00:38:29,811
She was overdrawn at the bank,
and her credit card and other debts
550
00:38:29,897 --> 00:38:31,694
amount to a considerable sum.
551
00:38:31,777 --> 00:38:36,248
The problem facing the pair of you
is the way wills are commonly executed.
552
00:38:36,337 --> 00:38:39,727
Only after the discharge of debt
and specific bequests
553
00:38:39,817 --> 00:38:42,650
does the residue of the estate
fall to you.
554
00:38:42,737 --> 00:38:45,695
And I'm afraid
after the mortgages have been paid
555
00:38:45,777 --> 00:38:49,895
and other debts discharged,
that you're left with nothing.
556
00:38:49,977 --> 00:38:51,933
- Precisely zero.
- No.
557
00:38:53,337 --> 00:38:57,774
No, that's... That's... It's not true.
558
00:38:58,817 --> 00:39:00,887
I'm afraid it is.
559
00:39:00,977 --> 00:39:03,810
I've just bought a bloody Porsche.
560
00:39:03,897 --> 00:39:06,013
I borrowed against
what I was gonna inherit.
561
00:39:06,097 --> 00:39:09,089
- Idiot.
- That's great, isn't it? Eh?
562
00:39:09,177 --> 00:39:15,616
Huge house, pool, Jacuzzi,
sports cars, expensive gigolo.
563
00:39:15,697 --> 00:39:20,054
What do we get?
Crayon pictures of trees and sky.
564
00:39:20,137 --> 00:39:22,173
- Love you, too, Mum.
- Shut up. It was hers.
565
00:39:22,257 --> 00:39:25,294
- She could do what she wants with it.
- Yeah, well, hasn't she just?
566
00:39:25,377 --> 00:39:27,049
So what did she do with all the money?
567
00:39:27,137 --> 00:39:29,935
I mean, can we, you know,
sue to get it back?
568
00:39:30,017 --> 00:39:32,577
Maybe she wasn't quite,
you know, right in the head or...
569
00:39:32,657 --> 00:39:36,536
Oh, I think she was.
No, in my view, she did it on purpose.
570
00:39:37,577 --> 00:39:40,137
I think she wanted
to leave you something
571
00:39:40,217 --> 00:39:42,606
a little bit more valuable than money.
572
00:39:42,697 --> 00:39:46,167
I'll drive. Uh, you may have
to take the Porsche back.
573
00:39:50,857 --> 00:39:53,132
DAMIEN: How come you can afford
one of these and I can't?
574
00:39:53,217 --> 00:39:56,732
PETER: I know,
the world is so unfair, isn't it?
575
00:39:56,817 --> 00:39:59,456
Well, what the hell are we doing here?
576
00:40:01,697 --> 00:40:07,010
Ah, Damien and Mark!
I've heard so much about you.
577
00:40:07,097 --> 00:40:11,648
Your mother was such a wonderful woman.
It's a tragedy she's no longer here.
578
00:40:11,737 --> 00:40:13,967
You must have been so proud of her.
579
00:40:14,057 --> 00:40:16,696
Uh, yeah. Yeah, we were. Are.
580
00:40:16,777 --> 00:40:18,130
I'm sorry, Mrs Ashworth,
581
00:40:18,217 --> 00:40:20,287
but we really have no idea
why we're here.
582
00:40:20,377 --> 00:40:21,526
But...
583
00:40:24,177 --> 00:40:25,690
I understand.
584
00:40:25,777 --> 00:40:28,974
Well, seems none of us knew Sheila
as well as we thought we did.
585
00:40:29,057 --> 00:40:30,649
Well, this way.
586
00:40:33,617 --> 00:40:36,768
Thirty years ago,
this was a small, run-down rectory
587
00:40:36,857 --> 00:40:40,372
that struggled to provide a home
for children with severe special needs.
588
00:40:40,457 --> 00:40:42,846
And your mother changed all that.
589
00:40:47,057 --> 00:40:49,651
This is what your mother did for us.
590
00:40:49,737 --> 00:40:52,615
She donated money
when she was with your father.
591
00:40:52,697 --> 00:40:57,293
But after she was divorced,
we were able to build all this.
592
00:40:57,377 --> 00:40:59,095
- Did you know anything about this?
- No.
593
00:40:59,177 --> 00:41:00,895
Our mother, are you sure?
594
00:41:00,977 --> 00:41:03,286
Her money paid for this?
What the hell for?
595
00:41:03,377 --> 00:41:05,686
- Is this where the pictures came from?
- Certainly is.
596
00:41:05,777 --> 00:41:08,735
And they were all painted
by the same person.
597
00:41:08,817 --> 00:41:10,091
Karen Larsen.
598
00:41:10,177 --> 00:41:13,055
She wanted us to name it
after your sister.
599
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,446
Sister? We haven't got a sister.
600
00:41:18,857 --> 00:41:21,735
Karen. This is Damien and Mark.
601
00:41:24,697 --> 00:41:25,846
Hello.
602
00:41:30,017 --> 00:41:31,336
Hi, Karen.
603
00:41:34,177 --> 00:41:35,735
You making sandwiches?
604
00:41:35,817 --> 00:41:38,854
- Hands.
- Oh, right. I'll wash my hands, then.
605
00:41:45,777 --> 00:41:49,656
Jam sandwiches, yum-yum.
This is my favourite sandwich.
606
00:41:51,417 --> 00:41:52,930
(MARK CHUCKLES)
607
00:41:54,177 --> 00:41:55,735
Damien?
608
00:41:57,737 --> 00:41:59,807
Just leave me alone.
609
00:42:04,817 --> 00:42:07,377
I don't think he knows how to react.
610
00:42:07,457 --> 00:42:10,494
I mean, he'll come round eventually,
in his own way.
611
00:42:10,577 --> 00:42:11,851
Mum always protected Damien.
612
00:42:11,937 --> 00:42:14,167
We always had to be careful
when we broke news to him.
613
00:42:14,257 --> 00:42:17,727
Meanwhile, you were the one
who was left to pick up the pieces, eh?
614
00:42:17,817 --> 00:42:19,375
That's what I do.
615
00:42:19,457 --> 00:42:22,733
There's someone like me in every family,
don't you think, Mr Kingdom?
616
00:42:22,817 --> 00:42:25,377
Perhaps you're right.
Perhaps you're right.
617
00:42:25,457 --> 00:42:27,527
If only I'd got past this
party-going shell she used to wear,
618
00:42:27,617 --> 00:42:29,050
maybe she would have told me.
619
00:42:29,137 --> 00:42:31,890
Well, shells are for protection.
Maybe she needed it to survive.
620
00:42:31,977 --> 00:42:36,528
Sometimes you only discover
the real person after they've gone.
621
00:42:38,257 --> 00:42:40,134
Listen, if you'll permit me,
622
00:42:40,217 --> 00:42:42,970
I'd like to waive the firm's fees
as executors.
623
00:42:43,057 --> 00:42:46,174
That way at least you'll get something
out of your mother's estate.
624
00:42:46,257 --> 00:42:49,772
Thank you. But I think
she's left us more than enough.
625
00:42:49,857 --> 00:42:53,691
You should donate it to this place,
Mum would have liked that.
626
00:42:54,577 --> 00:42:56,727
Can we go now, please?
627
00:43:02,897 --> 00:43:06,014
- I sacked the decorators.
- Did you? Oh, good.
628
00:43:06,097 --> 00:43:08,736
- Why?
- Not up to the job.
629
00:43:16,977 --> 00:43:19,810
Eighteen cases.
No offence, Peter, but the man's a joke.
630
00:43:19,897 --> 00:43:22,695
No, he is not a joke. He is a landowner.
631
00:43:22,777 --> 00:43:25,007
Here are copies
of his Land Registry entry.
632
00:43:25,097 --> 00:43:26,610
His proof of ownership.
633
00:43:26,697 --> 00:43:29,052
- Which bit does he own?
- Well, as a matter of fact,
634
00:43:29,137 --> 00:43:31,014
you're standing
right in the middle of it.
635
00:43:31,097 --> 00:43:32,325
You're trespassing.
636
00:43:32,417 --> 00:43:36,490
As will be every car
that uses this proposed relief road.
637
00:43:36,577 --> 00:43:38,693
I'll buy it. How much do you want?
638
00:43:38,777 --> 00:43:40,847
Oh, no, my client isn't selling,
I'm afraid.
639
00:43:40,937 --> 00:43:43,007
We'll issue a compulsory purchase order.
640
00:43:43,097 --> 00:43:45,736
You'll have to take me to court first.
641
00:43:45,817 --> 00:43:48,695
- But that'll take years.
- We know.
642
00:43:52,457 --> 00:43:56,336
What he don't know is I own lots
of bits of land like this all over town.
643
00:43:56,417 --> 00:43:58,009
Just where they plan
to build the sewage works,
644
00:43:58,097 --> 00:44:00,372
the leisure centre and the bypass.
645
00:44:12,097 --> 00:44:14,167
Please, Beatrice,
she's fat enough already.
646
00:44:14,257 --> 00:44:16,293
Well, you should take her out more.
647
00:44:16,377 --> 00:44:19,767
Why don't you take her with you
when you go to Simon's beach?
648
00:44:21,417 --> 00:44:24,568
- How do you know I go to Simon's beach?
- Just do.
649
00:44:25,097 --> 00:44:28,487
People always make the mistake
of underestimating me.
650
00:44:30,937 --> 00:44:33,974
- What do you think made him do it?
- I...
651
00:44:35,497 --> 00:44:38,853
(SIGHING) I don't suppose
we'll ever know. Oh!
652
00:44:40,217 --> 00:44:43,368
You didn't put coriander in this,
did you?
653
00:44:43,457 --> 00:44:44,731
Agh!
654
00:44:46,537 --> 00:44:48,493
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
655
00:45:14,297 --> 00:45:15,776
Simon's phoneമഊ㤊㤹ഹ《㨰〰〺㔬〰ⴠ㸭〠㨰〰㈺〬ര㰊潦瑮挠汯牯∽昣晦て∰猠穩㵥㐱眾睷琮獶扵楴汴獥渮瑥⼼潦瑮ാ54815
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