Original subtitles

I had finally hit my stride as chief of medicine.

I was bonding with the staff.

Okay, mister, it's a new dawn, it's a new day.

We've got the energy.

Nailing it as a teacher. Remember when I taught you about the oncotic pressure

and third spacing of fluid in liver patients?

Thank you.

On it.

And keeping up physician morale.

Handful of cake and it ain't even my birthday.

I was born this way.

Never done one squat. Oh, I know. Even Turk's rock -hard tush couldn't knock me

off my game.

What the... Good morning, Aldi. You can imagine my pleasure and shock to see you

haven't yet turned this place into a spirit Halloween store. Kudos on passing

the lowest bar possible.

What are you doing here? Is it something with me? I'm incredibly busy, but...

Okay, I've moved some things around. I'm free now.

Ugh, Harry, is this man bothering you?

But he has been for the better part of 25 years. And if you must know, Park and

I have dinner plans. But, Pumpkin, relax. We're going to stop at Zales

afterwards and get you something gorgeous. Oh, I love that.

What piece of jewelry screams daddy issues?

I wouldn't know, Park. Oh, definitely a belly chain.

Well, if you're missing your daddy, then I'm thinking a locket. Ooh, I would

love a locket. Off we go.

Hold it.

Don't worry. He's gonna look back. He's gonna look back. He's gonna look back.

Nope. He put his arm on his shoulder.

Dude, summon your big doctor energy and glide away.

I can't do this all on my own. No, I know.

I'm no Superman.

I'm no Superman.

Since Dr.

Cox was here, I wanted to throw some extra sauce on rounds.

Luckily, I re -watched Independence Day last night.

Mankind.

That word should have extra meaning for us all today.

Nailed it.

Look, guys, you are no longer untrained, untested newbies. You have learned so

much by now.

Dr. Dorian is right.

There it is. It only took 25 years.

You have so much more knowledge than you did six months ago when you started

with me. Bet you feel pretty good about that, right?

Stop smiling.

Because you're, in fact, dangerous.

You now know enough to think you know everything.

You're like that 10 -year -old at the wheel of a Subaru. Can your feet reach

pedals? Well, sure. Should you actually operate the vehicle? Under no

conditions. And just like that 10 -year -old, you're all potential killers. Dr.

Cox, I'm going to need you. That's right, killers.

Killers screaming, wee -hee, as you blow through the front of a diner, nearly

taking out an innocent family. It feels like you're not hearing me.

Cheesy fries and sugary beverage. He's not an employee.

I'm powerless.

It's okay. I need him to take a listen to me.

Allow me to put Dr. Cox's dark tableau through the John Dorian positivity

filter. You got this, okay? Just be alert and bring your A -game. We have a

challenging day today.

All I wanted was for my interns to shine in front of Dr. Cox today. But

unfortunately, the odds were against us. You can't hide from the Hippocratic

rule of thirds.

One -third of very sick patients die no matter what you do.

One -third die because of what you do.

And one -third get better on their own.

We're going to do everything we can for you.

Patients' labs came back. She's hyponatremic. We'll start IV scouting

replacement. Got it? Good. And don't let Dr. Cox being here get in your head.

Oh, I won't. I think he's hilarious. When a research ranting, I record him,

it, like, always goes viral.

You have much healthier way of coping with him than I did. I gave myself

like... Five times. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I wanted Perry to know just how well I was filling his shoes.

So the key to teaching my interns has been my radical approachability.

First of all, there are no dumb questions.

I see. So just dumb statements like that one? I'm going to ignore that. Second,

I never wear my white coat.

I feel like when I dress like an intern, it says, I'm just like you guys.

A superhero without a cape.

Well, you're going to want to swoop down out of the sky and help your equal over

there find whatever it is he's looking for in the medical waste bin.

Fleming, I have told you before, if your Invisalign is in there, it is gone for

good. Now get, get, get.

Stupid Fleming and his underbite. Where are all the interns I told to come and

say nice things about me? Dr. Dorian, once again, your brilliant teaching has

saved a life. Go on. My patient was cleared for discharge, but something

off, so I ran some blood cultures and he's septic.

If you hadn't reviewed the signs with us this week, I wouldn't have caught it.

And there it was.

The facial contortion Dr.

Cox made when he was struggling to choke down a compliment.

To you, sir.

I could kiss you. Dr.

Dorian, I get that the British thing is a huge turn -on. It makes him seem both

exotic and safe.

But you cannot kiss him. No, it's just a figure of speech. I wasn't trying to

kiss him. I wasn't trying to kiss him either, but here we are. May I be

Yes, please. Go to your room.

Thanks to the good news with Asher's patient, the odds were starting to tip

our favor.

And I had to give it to Park. He was on top of it with Blake's patient.

I've been sick for three weeks. I'm burning up. I feel like death.

Can I get some antibiotics?

Here's what antibiotics will do for your viral infection.

Nothing.

Nice meeting you.

Oh, if you're leaving a comment card, his name's Dr. Park.

But he is right about the antibiotics.

Fine. But if he's wrong, I'm going to sue both of you.

Cool.

Chris's infection was caught early, and we expect him to respond well to

treatment. I'm just waiting on one more test.

Thank you so much, Doctor.

You guys can go in.

Hi, Daddy.

I love that little voice you do when you're talking to family.

Well, I'm just doing all that I can for them.

Let's go to the supply closet right now.

Okay. I love supplies.

Here's the results for your sepsis patient.

You're not going to like this.

The CT shows he has a deep neck upset.

I think he might need surgery.

What's all that whispering about?

I knew what I hoped it was. I was reluctant to say anything until it went

through, but I submitted me and J .D. for the amazing race. Do you think you

could cover for him for a month? Well, only the father of medicine could cover

for that man.

And he's fine, too. Gorgeous!

Thank you.

When are you going to stop needing his approval?

I don't know, Turk. When are you going to stop loving Carla? J .D., that is not

an appropriate comparison.

The thing I don't get is, if Cox is just here for dinner, why is he hanging

around the hospital all day?

Do you think he's getting intel about my work as a chief? Who cares?

Everybody thinks you're doing a great job. Just keep singing that psych -up

you sing in your office every morning.

Oh, I didn't know you could hear that. But I don't care, because, baby, I am a

firework.

Dr. Reed, I bolus the hypertonic saline solution for Tina.

Wait, you did what?

Oh, my God.

You can't bolus hypertonic saline. You have to calculate the sodium deficit.

Get me a nurse. Tell them to bring DVADP and V5W.

I didn't know. Will she be okay? I don't know, Dr. Fox. Move out of the way.

Just get out of the room.

Notify neurology. Hey.

Did you see Danny's chest x -ray? Let me guess.

Inconclusive with possible opacity.

We should give him the antibiotics. It could be a viral pneumonia with

superinfection. What it is is a radiologist covering their ass. If they

inconclusive, then they're not responsible in the .0001 % chance that

pneumonia. Yeah, but we're on the hook if it is. Are you really letting your

patient dictate how you treat him?

You have the vibe of a dom top, but you doctor like a sub -bottom. I bartended

at a gay bar, so I know what that means.

And if being a sub -bottom means not getting sued or worse, then give it to

Daddy.

How's my patient?

We have to see how he does after he gets out of recovery.

I don't understand. I did everything right. I caught the infection early, but

still got worse.

You've got to figure out a way to cope with stress.

You know what?

I have a method I use that could help.

Follow me.

All right, the rules of the game are simple. You must jump off the physical

therapy trampoline and then shoot the mannequin's head into the bin. Got it? I

don't think I can hit that. Maybe, maybe not. But when my daughter was in NICU,

all I could do was wait, and this saved my life.

Pro tip, elbows in, fingertips on the eyelids.

Let's go.

You can do it.

Even if she was, she could have neurologic deficit or be in a coma.

Tosh, you can't beat yourself up. If I kill someone? Oh, and you put her like

that. But none of that has happened.

Hopefully she'll be okay.

Moments like this live with interns forever.

When a patient is a victim of a mistake, doctors are the second victim.

Tosh, I know all you're doing is worrying about that patient, but it's my

worry about you.

I want you to see a counselor right now.

Honestly, the only positive right now is that my mentor wasn't here to see

everything fall apart.

I knew white guys were bad at this, but British white guys are the worst.

I can't stand this waiting. There has to be something else we can do for the

patient. Kid, there isn't. We both did everything we could. So now's the time

let it go or leave it with God or the universe or whatever it is you believe

Well, that's never worked for me.

But okay.

I believe if you make that basket, our patient will be okay.

I don't like putting that type of pressure on myself.

We're doing this to take our minds off of it. But, uh, okay. Come on. Let me

show you how it's done. You ready for this?

Here we go.

Big shot.

I told you.

I don't believe in bald on bald violence, but you've given me no

choice. Run.

Watch out. He's mad.

That's the thing about this place.

Sometimes all you can do is let go and hope things work out.

I have some good news.

Tina's stable.

She's going to be all right. Oh, thank God.

You made a huge mistake, and you got really lucky.

And hopefully you never have to get this lucky again.

Chris is alert and doing well.

Last shot, Dr. Tut?

Alert.

Mr.

Johnson, I have some good news.

The good news is I was right and you were wrong.

Danny's fever broke without antibiotics.

I'm pretty sure the good news is that Danny's okay.

Listen, I know you blame yourself for that woman who died in the parking lot,

but doctoring scared will never be what's best for your patients.

And by the way...

I knew you bartended at Knight Gliders. I recognized you the minute you stepped

foot in here.

Yeah? I remember you, too.

You were the only guy who didn't tip. Yeah, well, you were the only bartender

who wouldn't sleep with me.

Congratulations. We had three very sick patients, and they're all going to be

okay.

We beat the odds.

So enjoy it. Around here, that doesn't happen all that often.

Oh, Dr. Cog.

I didn't see you over there. Do you want to give one of your famous I -believed

-in -you -the -whole -time speeches?

No, I... Oh, my God.

It doesn't

matter how many people you save.

When one of your own falls, it hits deep.

Why didn't you come to me if you haven't been feeling well? Because I knew you'd

turn this into some overwrought emo crybaby feelings fest. Hell, I can

practically hear the indie mope music playing in your head right now.

I'm just saying, I can't believe you went with Dr. Park over me.

Well, he probably knew you'd turn this into some sort of overwrought emo cry,

baby. I already said it. Oh.

Well, the good news is your scans and tumor markers came back negative, so

not cancer.

Thank God.

We're still waiting on your set rates, ANCA and CRP.

We'll know more later this afternoon. Thank you, Dr. Park. I'd like to take

Perry's care from here. Not happening there, Dr. Nurse Jackie.

Come on, you can barely hold it together with patients coming in off the street.

How are you going to be objective with me? Besides, look at yourself.

You're already emotional and you haven't done anything yet.

It's not true. I updated your weight.

Congrats on keeping it tight.

J .D., we both know if you had to walk into this room and tell me that I was

dying, it would break you. No, it would break me if you didn't give me the

opportunity to help you by doing everything that you trained me to do.

Still not happening. Besides, there's no training for the maniacal patient I

plan on being.

Cujo, Old Yeller, pick your rabid dog, and I'm going to best him. Now, I will

removing my own IV because your nurses gave me regular saline instead of D5W.

Oh, my God. I think he's actually tearing up because you mentioned Old

I'm not tearing up. I'm not a child. I don't need to be protected, okay?

And if you want someone who's going to take you behind the shed and shoot you,

go with this idiot.

Dr. Tosh, full disclosure, outside of this room, Dr.

Reed and I have been enjoying a blossoming female friendship. But in

simply Participant A and you're Participant B.

Participant A, you have the floor.

I know this morning was really traumatic, and I'm just really glad that

talking about it.

That was very nice, Participant A.

Participant B, would you like to read aloud your formal complaint against Dr.

Reed? What?

You told me to raise the sodium on our patient but didn't guide me on how to do

it. Yeah, because you should already know how to do that.

She told me to get out of the room. You almost killed someone.

Okay, you can't say that.

She screwed up.

You can't say that either.

You made me feel terrible. It just makes me want to quit.

I'm trying to teach you.

What am I allowed to say?

We'll be covering that in your mandatory bi -weekly seminar.

Oh, this is so stupid.

Friendship Sibi here. I hear you, and we will bitch about this later.

Business Sibi, you can't say that.

You are not a doctor in this hospital. You cannot change your own medication.

This is, in fact, the same level of pain meds you'd give to a woman having a C

-section. But since my doula and I have already discussed having a natural

childbirth, we're going to be lowering the dose. Or I'm going to take this

America's Best number one pudding and decorate your wall with it.

You can have this hot mess.

He's all yours.

I see you've extended your reign of terror to the staff.

Gave him something to talk to his friends about around the hospital.

You know, I've actually come to appreciate your teaching style.

I mean, not all of it. I did not think it was necessary to call me a prostitute

who caters exclusively to clowns.

Still makes me laugh at the course of times.

And for what it's worth, I was too harsh with you.

Sometimes I sit up at night thinking I actually could have driven you out of

this place.

And if I had...

It would have been my biggest failure and my greatest regret.

I appreciate that.

God let me be, will you? I have some decorating I need to attend to.

Oh, please let him. I'm going to rub his nose in it like a nasty dog.

You know, I've never actually had to sleep in one of these things, but I am

leaving your side until we get your results.

Dean, would you, uh... Would you pray with me?

Wow, first curveball.

Of course.

Punks was never religious, but when you're facing your own mortality, you'll

anything.

Dear God, or who's ever up there, I know I haven't exactly turned to you pretty

much ever, but I need you now.

So please, Lord, let that chair fold in on J .D. and quietly suffocate him so

that I might have a few moments of peace.

If these are, in fact, my last few moments.

Thanks, Scott. Go ahead. Make your jokes.

But I know you're scared.

For once, just let me be there for you.

And there it was.

His test results.

I knew how I wanted this to play out.

Congratulations! You're the one millionth person to click on Test

You've won $10 ,000 and a brand new jet ski!

Oh, no, not you, Scram!

J .D., come on!

To the lake!

But that's not how these things go.

Go ahead.

Well, don't sugarcoat it.

Because I understand what everything means on there.

Dr. Tosh, you got a second?

You said that I made you feel like quitting.

I would be a real failure on my part if you did.

But I would also be failing as a teacher if I didn't hold you accountable for

your mistakes.

I know I messed up.

I was just afraid it meant I wasn't good enough to be here, so I blamed you.

And I'm really sorry.

Come here.

It's okay.

You come across a lot more confident.

That's just a part of my brand.

There are many things we fool ourselves into thinking we have control over.

If I make this cock, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay.

That's it. I'm going to rip your head off and do this with it.

That counts.

That counts. But the truth is we can never predict what's in store for us.

give me a hug, nigga.

All we can do is be there for each other when the odds are against us.

It isn't great.

But it could be worse.

Worse than my own body attacking itself?

It's an autoimmune disease, for God's sake.

There is no cure for this. It's a matter of...

managing the crisis that's going to be thrown my way in the bottom of the

Harry, you know this disease has a high survival rate, especially since we

caught it early. We're in the beginning stages of renal failure, J .D. Yeah, but

you can slow all that down. With aggressive treatment and an

microscopic polyangiitis can easily go into remission.

Did you really think that this couldn't happen?

Just because we're out there taking care of all of them?

It would get some kind of karmic immunity, protect us from what's coming

all.

Yes.

Will you promise me that you'll keep me alive for a very long time?

Because I don't want my death to be the thing that makes you cynical.

I promise. Let me finish.

Because I won't be around here to enjoy it.

And even in death, I couldn't bear the irony.

All I can hear is that you're going to let me be your doctor.

I'm already tingling from the prospect of our sponge bastard.

I tried to protect you from this.

Everything I had.

But I am so scared.

And I don't care if you don't like it.

It is the best path forward.

Turk had asked me when I'd stop needing Dr.

Cox's approval.

Okay. It was now.

Because now, and I got you, he needed me.

Isn't it funny?

Doing everyday things somewhere else.

doesn't really feel everyday at all.

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Look how many views you have. It's gone totally viral. All these DJs are

remixing it. People just love it.

Bring her to me.