Original subtitles

These women are caught on hidden camera and are prosecuted to the fullest

extent, all on video, only on Shoplifter MILF.

Why are we here? You have a seat on the right. Sir, you have a seat on the left.

Sit down. What are we here for?

You guys know exactly what you're here for.

So why don't you guys sit tight here real quick.

I'm going to go get some paperwork.

What? Don't go anywhere. The door's locked, and the room's being monitored.

stay tight.

What? Ew.

Okay, what the fuck?

I don't know.

What are you saying?

I don't know. Did we park in the handicap or something?

You know I do that sometimes, but whatever.

He said paperwork.

Yeah, just keep it quiet.

I'm so sorry. I

mean,

there's no way. Nobody's ever really looking at you. They're only looking at

tent anyway.

That's it.

I mean

like

what kind of power does he have?

he even got us in here for.

He probably has no power.

It's like overkill how many cameras are in here actually.

I mean,

it's just, I mean, I am. It's tiny in here. There's gotta be, there's gotta be

another way.

If we just, you know, keep our story straight. Sit down, goddammit.

Ah, jeez.

You guys are ridiculous.

I'll give you guys one chance. Do you have anything you want to tell me?

We really love your store, and we'd like to be continuing customers.

So just let us know on our way.

Do you have anything else to tell me?

Yeah, we'd like to get going here soon.

What's this all about?

You guys don't have a single clue what this is about whatsoever.

No? No, not at all. No, not at all.

You guys are fucking ridiculous.

You got any IDs?

I think mine's in the car.

I'm surprised.

Well, you know, it's a very common thing for when people do crime, they don't

like to keep any kind of ID on them.

So do me a favor here.

Write down your name and address on the paper.

My name is You Can Tiny Fuck Off.

That's what my name is.

How about you say Kick Rock, maybe? Mr. Fuck Off? Yeah. Mr. Fuck Off. Oh, I

didn't forget about that. Yeah.

All right.

Let's see here.

Yeah. It says, uh, Cunt McGee and Tiny Dick.

Thanks, guys.

Um, so... I wanted to be a cunt.

Right? No form of ID, nothing, nothing at all.

You guys still have no idea what the hell you're doing here.

I'm not a mind reader.

You're not a mind reader, no.

No.

Jesus Christ.

I'll put up with you people.

You people?

Yeah. Did he just...

Is this a racist thing now?

I don't know if that works for us.

Well, I'm so sorry. But anyway, we don't need to be here.

You guys don't need to be here.

God damn it.

All right.

So, it seems that I've been chasing a couple for a couple months.

It looks like your description.

And, yeah, with that.

With that face, exactly.

Chasing? Yeah.

A stalker?

Yeah, yeah. What criminals in my story? Yeah, yeah. I am a stalker. I'm like a

tiger going after the small prey.

Is he small about these?

No, not at all.

Not at all. Look nice.

Nice. They come with the attitude?

Actually, I was born with that.

Oh, nice, nice.

I can see you're really living up to your standards.

Now, it seems like...

Someone's been distracting the cashier while the other grabs an item.

But you guys wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

Again, my tips are really distracting.

Right, right, right.

I'm sorry, what?

Right.

So, why don't you guys sit there and think about it while I review some tape.

Time out?

Yeah. And then we'll see how your attitude changes.

Jesus Christ.

I won't run.

Too old to run.

But whatever he's doing, he better hurry up. I want to get out of here.

I'm just getting a little worried.

I'm just... I mean, I'm obviously, you know, never would fast in jail,

so I just need to make sure that that doesn't happen.

I don't want you to go to jail.

I mean, I understand I'm Hispanic, but I don't look it.

That's why I was like, you said you people. Who says you people?

It's so small in here.

Do you think he locked it again?

I'll check.

Yep.

What does it mean with reviewing tape? Like, if I were already, like, allegedly

guilty of something?

Should at least give him his water or something.

Right, you know.

So, I want you to take a look at this video here.

You can clearly see he's distracting the cashier.

And you're reaching over and grabbing some jewelry.

That looks just like you. I think that's you. That is you.

See, now you can see the attitude change.

Not so tough now, huh?

You guys are a bunch of freaks.

You guys have been doing this for months.

All right, so our next procedure is going to cross with you guys, and then

probably going to call the police, but we'll take one thing at a time first.

no, no, we can totally pay for it. Like, just kidding, you know, like, ah, you

know. So you admit that you stole it then?

I mean, we haven't left the store, so, you know. And the other couple times?

And the other times before that?

I'm not admitting any guilt, but what do we... Well, sure, we did that for you.

What can we do here?

Well, listen, first of all, why don't you guys pay for it?

Oh, wait, you don't have any identification?

You don't even have your wallet, so you had no intention to even pay for it.

I mean, you know, just get a little rush and kick out of excitement, and then we

go home and fuck our brains out over the stuff. I mean, never mind.

Yeah, that was a little too much information.

Where's the jewelry?

What jewelry?

I'm not wearing any.

No, not wearing any.

All right, so let's have my wand here first.

Sir, stand up.

Is this your watch?

Where'd you get this watch?

Store. Not that store. You got it at my store, you said?

No. No?

These are my things.

Yeah, we don't carry anything that cheap anyways.

Now you seem to be okay, please have a seat once you stand up Let's just

watch All right, we'll take a

look at that in a moment All right,

I'm gonna have to Think why not you take a step

forward right here pick your arms spread out

Really? This is not the... This is by procedure.

You have to calm down.

Excuse you.

My hand's cold?

That's right. Why don't you have a seat there?

I feel like I should have charged first.

Even if you did, I only have a penny.

Do you have change?

See, now the attitude's changed.

So...

I'm going to call the cops from now.

But before I do, I need to make sure. They would eat me up alive in there.

here's what makes things easier.

If you give me the jewelry that you stole, it will probably make things a

easier.

So why don't you cooperate and give me the item. Or to have to dig for it.

I didn't put it in there.

Yeah.

Are you sure about it? You remember my wand went off.

I didn't see anything.

Nothing. Nothing at all. You know what? I wanted to give you guys a little bit

of time to think about that. And meanwhile, I'm going to put the cops on

real quick. So when I come back, the jewelry will be up here.

What do you think we should do?

I really, really wanted it.

Yeah, but it's not worth going to jail.

No.

We can stop it.

You know what? That's what we should have done. Why don't we not get rid of

shit? Because there's cameras in here.

Don't catch you doing it.

You know,

he was not even grabbing me.

Right?

I love that.

That's one way we can get out of this.

Worst comes to worst.

I'm going to need you to be a little bit more clear.

Maybe barter your way out?

I'm a sacrificial lamb?

Well, no, but neither of us want to go to jail.

We're supposed to be going home and fucking, not like... Oh, God.

I can't even right now. With your skills, you could be in and out in like

minutes with this guy.

Well, but...

True, but that's really going to ruin the whole fantasy now.

I mean, like, are you intending on watching?

Well, hell no.

Like a wham -bam thank you, ma 'am? You think, like, I'd be able to... Just

knock her out and let's go.

Well...

It's all fucking games until... Until security catches us.

What in the whole fuck?

Like, honestly, at this point, I'll just call the cops myself.

No, I'm kidding.

Don't you golf with somebody in an accident?

You two realize that this room is under monitoring, and I can hear every

single thing you guys say.

Can you grab that?

piece of jewelry for me they hid away in the door can you go go ahead just grab

it

now

this is a high -priced item this is uh

that's gonna be bad that's gonna be bad You know, this is over $900.

So it's not a misdemeanor at all.

It's more than that.

And also the stuff I may stack on top of this, like extra jewelry stuff to say

you guys stole more.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I could definitely do that.

You guys, you know, I said cooperate.

You guys are just being a bunch of dicks.

So this is what happens. You get the jewelry back. What else do you want?

To do what I'm supposed to do.

The owners have zero tolerance for criminals.

So they're going to prosecute you to the full extent of the law.

That's your choice. I have the police on hold for right now. I have my evidence.

I don't have quite an idea on either of you.

But that's okay. The police will get that anyways.

You don't really get paid enough to be enforcing all of this. You don't know

much I get paid. You want to be a hero?

I probably get paid more than you, that's for sure. I could probably buy

You'd probably have to steal it, obviously.

You know what I mean?

So that's the skinny right there.

So I'm going to go to that. I'm going to go call the cops right now. They'll

take care of you.

It'll be easy.

All right, so what else can we do to make this go away?

I'm getting a migraine. Oh, my gosh. I can't even.

What's happening? You guys have nothing. You got no money. You got nothing. What

about the distraction earlier?

That obviously wasn't stealing

anymore. That's my skill set.

That I could perhaps trade my...

services to prevent you from following through with your services.

Kind of a barter.

A barter?

What the hell are you guys even talking about?

Maybe she could do something for you that'll make you forget what you have in

that hand and make things go away without involving the cops, etc.

I can't even say the words, honey.

Yeah, you're gonna have to be a little bit more blunt than that.

Maybe she can offer some physical... Suck your dick. Oh, God. There you go.

I can't even say it.

So you're telling me you're selling out your own wife? Is that what you're

telling me? It's not selling out.

Well, we'll have to have you delete these videos as well.

I'm probably just gonna keep them.

You have to think about that one.

Only a blowjob.

You know, you already got a head start. You already got to grab these.

So why don't I sample the good first. Let's just take a look. Really? Am I in

grocery store with free samples?

Yeah, that's exactly what you are. Let's see here.

Let's take a look.

Oh, okay.

Oh, wow. Whoa.

Yeah, I tried to tell you.

Why don't you take your shirt off?

Why

don't

you show me your ass?

There we go.

That's definitely looking good.

He must work out like a motherfucker.

Jesus.

Well, listen here.

This isn't worth some low -job high school bullshit.

We want you guys to get out of this. I want the whole thing.

You know exactly what I want.

So once you guys discuss that, I know I'm going to go grab a cup of coffee.

This looks nice, though, but I'm not selling it for no goddamn half -assed

gone straight on my knees and taken care of it before...

Why do you have to leave me now?

I don't know what to do.

I said do whatever it takes. I mean, it seems like... Easy for you to say.

Honestly,

if I'm getting us both out of this, then I guess...

have to be a chain of events where i have to now put in all the work for this

and i guess you're just gonna have to lose out tonight well let's discuss that

when we go oh how convenient oh well hey are you gonna

be juggling his balls well no i'm not even oh you're not gonna be interacting

this oh what a pity fuck

So wait, you're not going to leave, right? You're going to wait for me?

I'll be right outside.

God forbid.

You don't join this for me either.

Why don't you go get that better watch then? What are you doing here?

We don't need to come back in here another time.

Oh, we're never coming back here again. No.

Ever.

Boycott.

Are we really doing this?

Like, I sure don't have enough time for me to fake a panic attack.

That would just bring paramedics and cops. Honestly, at this point, it won't

even be a fake.

Like, how am I supposed to even think?

I feel, like, the panic and dry everywhere.

Except for sweating everywhere else.

I can just fuck my own head, right?

Okay. Oh my god.

This won't be on the news or something though, right?

I hope not.

All these fucking cameras.

Okay, so we're doing this then and I'll just run out of here and jump in the

car while it's still moving.

Put your clothes on first.

Put your clothes on first.

I'm gonna want a milkshake after this.

Oh my god.

Is he like grinding the beans himself?

What was he doing with the coffee?

Don't they always have like coffee?

There's no reason to put your shirt back on. So what's the good news?

Yeah, you do have some good news coming your way.

Honey, what's that good news?

My wife decided to make things right by us.

Take one from the team.

Make this all go away.

Yeah, that's great.

So she's going to have my dirty dick in her fucking pussy? Is that what you're

saying, sir?

You don't have to be that vulgar.

Yeah.

Hope you lost it.

Yeah, exactly.

I hope so, too.

I'm sure a lot of you like that.

All right, but for you, I don't want you sitting around like a freak or

something. Why don't you get up? I'm going to put you in a holding cell to

sure you don't rat me out.

No, he's not staying here.

Rat you out.

Yeah, I don't want to be a part of this.

Yeah, nearly.

All right, let's put you in the cell.

Well done.

Okay.

You can do this.

God, I wish I was drunk.

Such the most fucked up fantasy is.

Hello there.

Want to hold hands for a while? We won't need to do any pleasantries or

foreplay. I understand what the job is.

Good.

Sure? I don't mind if you hold my hand.

The least amount of touching possible, thanks.

We'll just, you know, set aside all the pleasantries.

Well, you don't want to hold my hand.

Well, you know, if that's foreplay is dead.

You already got your free grab.

Free sample, as you called it.

Foreplay is dead? How about foreskin?

So clever.

Stand up for all the girls?

To fold my shirt.

You know, I'd like a clear playing field.

Can you hit a moving target?

Oh!

You kind of missed there.

Oh, did I?

Gosh.

My bad.

You can start sucking now.

Is that what you call a blowjob?

Well, you know, you didn't exactly manscape. I can tell that you don't get

blowjobs often.

Who needs to do that?

Makes it better.

I'm not trying to make this easy for you.

Clearly.

There you go. That's who they want.

You know, the better to do that, the faster we go home.

Or you go home. I'm just kidding.

Excuse me for feeling like I'm just doing this for my life

right now.

Your husband already abandoned you.

He's not coming back.

That's why everybody jumped in this car. He drove away.

Mine? Well, we'll find out once we're done.

You don't stick around for nothing.

That's the spirit.

That's why I never shave.

I like seeing that.

I've got hair too.

Yeah, good.

Mine just looks better.

Cute and soft.

I think I've had enough of this.

Stand up.

Don't look at me.

There we go.

What?

What?

That was much better.

Not for me.

I don't care what you feel.

Who says I feel anything?

Oh, good. Which makes it a lot easier then.

I was hoping this would be tighter.

I'd be done faster.

There we go.

This is nice, though.

Has that guy rich or something?

Is that where you got him?

He just knows what he's doing.

I'm sure he does.

be rich anyways.

I still want shit from my store.

There we go.

This

is

much more fun.

Okay.

You want to be done faster, don't you?

You have no idea.

You're just going to sit there and take it.

Yeah. Fuck.

Yes, I am fucking.

Fuck it.

Did you,

like, jerk off before you came in here? No. But if you start crying, it'll make

me really come fast.

Just wait.

No wonder you were trying to get a person on.

Really working it up, huh?

It's all planned out.

Oh, yeah, you know I do.

Are you crying yet?

I need some move.

I want to get your tears removed. I'll be really dead inside. I don't know how

I'll have any tears to cry.

I keep fucking you enough.

Tell me you like it.

That wasn't part of the deal.

The deal's changed.

You want to make me confess, don't you? You either can cry or tell me you like

it. You can cry. You want me to like it. Yeah.

Can you paint my face with a clown, too?

Yes, please do.

Maybe you'd prefer my husband instead.

Oh, no.

You can really take it, can't you?

on your side.

Another one position kind of guy.

Girl could be so lucky.

Oh, look at that.

It just slid right in there, too.

Oh, wow, yeah, that's good.

Oh, yeah, that's great.

Oh,

no, I don't want you to look at me.

You have to look at me.

Oh, you're mad.

I gave you the finger, but I'm giving you my dick.

Well, this just slides right in there.

I don't like this a lot.

I'm just that kind of girl.

We're fucking time. That's what time is.

planning on already having sex until you ruined it. Oh, I think I ruined it.

Yeah.

Anyone who knows the difference anyways.

I got a little dick.

Do this with everyone?

Yeah.

You said I don't get laid enough.

That's what you know.

I'm swine -free.

heat from all these cameras you've got in here, Perler.

Yeah. I need something to jerk off to later.

I'll jerk off to the tears in your eyes.

I think it's time for you to do some work.

Oh my god.

More? Yeah, more. Do you think I'm done yet?

I don't see why not.

I'll see why not.

That's exactly when we're done.

Don't you look like a glazed donut by the time we're done.

I don't need some work out of you.

There we go.

I'm just lucky it wasn't leg day at the gym yesterday.

Well, today's dick day.

I've had enough of this. Why don't you lay on your back?

What? Yeah.

I've had enough of you complaining.

Always complaining.

This is much better. I'm going to do all the work now.

That's how this is going to end.

I like this better now.

Take a look in the eye. Why fuck you?

I want to see that misery.

You have faith in me.

inside.

Imagine you want us to be very truthful at this point.

Do you like it, please?

I'm trying to think of my husband.

Happy place.

Happy place.

All right. I'll just get it over with already.

Get it over with? We've just begun.

Went to the gas, to have one of those gas station dick pills.

Oh my god, really?

Is that why you're trying to just fucking stab my guts right now? Yes.

I just need them.

What? Yep.

Who does that?

A guy like me.

17 minutes by coffee.

Fuck.

That's a beautiful...

I'm gonna break you.

That'd be nice.

Maybe monthly.

I think I already have.

I think I already have.

I'd rather fall on the ground than deal with this.

I like it when you're scared. It makes your pussy tighter.

like someone else involved did that?

Yeah. Yeah.

You can fight till the end.

I could just keep fucking you.

No, no. It's fine. We'll skip to your turn.

Totally cool with that.

Totally cool with that. Yeah. That's what I thought.

Not about me.

It's about you.

It's all about me. Yeah. It's about my freedom.

Are you still talking?

Oh my god! Ah!

My husband.

Go ahead. Back on the table.

Fuck. Right there.

Just like that.

I'll give you one last trick for me.

Yeah, come on. I didn't know we were at the circus.

It's the circus now.

You want to get out of here?

over your pretty face then. I have to leave here though.

Does it sound like I care?

People are going to judge what kind of example we'll be setting for the story.

Definitely divorcing my husband.

I need to go.

No, hold on. I need to go. I can't. You just need to stay there.

I'm going to go get your husband.

I'm kidding. I thought you said he left. That's what I mean.

Divorcing him.

That's the joke.

That motherfucker left as soon as I was at the door. I didn't put it in the

holdings, though. He just went and he's like, he gave me a hundred bucks and he

fucking left.

So, nope. He paid you for the bracelet, Ben, or he paid you, wait. He just

bribed me.

He took out of his sock and said, here you go, bro.

It's like he was planning it.

All right.

Why don't you go get your shit situated?