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How much?

20 dirhams.

- Too much. - 10 dirhams.

I'll give you 5.

Ok.

Give him 5 dirhams.

Now get lost.

For your studies.

We all chipped in.

No, I can't.

You dream of being an architect.

A family helps.

I'll build you the village's best house.

Yassine, here...

For the woman of your life if you find her.

Thank you.

Be happy, she says.

You're a champion, brother.

I'll go.

Hello.

- Student visa? - Yes.

Welcome to France.

MARRY ME DUDE

I can't do it.

Let me see.

Set your compass here.

And your circle...

touches the edges.

It's so easy for you.

I'm stressed too.

I need to pass the exam

for my future, my family...

Your family?

They helped me come here.

You're like my dad.

He's a hard worker too, with ambition, values...

But I'm foreign.

I must work even harder.

I'm not skinny like others.

I'm a real bookworm...

No.

You're hot.

Are you ok?

- Yes. - You're sure?

Don't worry.

Let me help.

These chairs are crap.

- I'll go. - Let's get a drink.

Ok.

Cool.

What is this?

It was my grandmother's and my mother's.

It goes to the woman of my life.

Maybe it's for me?

At the post-exam party maybe.

I've been thinking...

I'm not the party type.

I'll be ridiculous.

It's different now.

I'm here.

Hi, got my notes?

Hi, Stan.

See you.

You're saving my life.

Dating the hippo?

C'mon, Claire's great.

I'm kidding.

I'm stressed out.

You're ok.

You're the best in our year.

A drink'll relax you.

- I don't drink. - Just one.

It wouldn't be serious.

Drink! Drink! Drink!

Wake up!

What time is it?

No!

No way...

You haven't failed the exam.

You didn't sit it. It's different.

I need a new student visa.

Look, sir...

You have to leave France!

Hi there.

Leave a message.

Yassine, me again.

I've called 20 times.

I'm worried. Call me.

Check the hippo's costume!

Hippo, you're half a heart short!

Two years later

A classy building.

Prestressed concrete is lighter.

The 3rd floor...

Taking it easy?

Quit daydreaming and get to work.

Run! Labour inspectors!

Fucking run!

Ludo?

What's up?

I just saved a bit more money.

Need a hand?

I won't say no. Fred.

Yassine, your neighbour.

- Lisa. - Hello.

- This? - Wait!

Mind if I stow my console at yours?

No.

Thanks!

No sweat.

Why not get married?

I asked a friend.

And?

All right.

You'll marry me?

Yes.

For 15,000 euros.

15,000 euros?

15,000. Cash.

15,000 euros?

You won't get far with the 30 I'll give you.

Neighbours help each other.

There, I've finished.

It's shocking, profiting from others' misfortunes.

You lost a slipper.

You're so kind...

I'll marry you if you want.

Really?

A good deed before snuffing it...

How can I thank you?

By fucking me.

Sorry?

By fucking me!

What for?

Grannie wanted a shag?

- I swear! - Gross!

And that shirt isn't gross?

It's Lisa's.

I lost my T-shirt box.

Wild!

Photo time!

Come on!

It's Yassine!

Sana, come on! How are you, son?

Fine. And you?

We're all well.

When are you coming and when'll you marry?

I'm on a big project.

You always say that.

A viaduct takes time.

A viaduct? Built by my son!

- Know what one is? - No, but it must be wild!

Thanks for the 400 euros,

but don't send us money.

It's nothing.

Mum wants to come and see you.

No, don't do that.

I'm too busy.

I can manage alone.

I have to get back to work. Take care.

Talk to you soon!

A viaduct...

A big viaduct.

I'm sick of this act.

You have to tell them one day.

No way.

I can't say,

"I've blown your savings.

I don't design buildings,

I mix cement.

And I'm illegal."

Go to the class reunion.

It'll open doors.

I'm too ashamed.

Jobless is your career.

Huh?

Plus there's Claire...

Forget her.

I screwed up bad.

I can't face her.

We'll find a solution.

He may not work, but this guy has ideas!

"The authorities have granted

French nationality and a medal

to Bachir Arfaoui for bravery after saving a mother and her child."

It's up to you.

I have my papers.

You're sure?

Yes.

Ok. Thanks, bro.

Here.

Shit, this is scary...

I've had it!

Keep back or I'll jump!

Get down!

See you in heaven.

Wait, I'm not filming yet.

Don't do it!

Where is he?

Help me!

Stand back!

Are you ok?

Yassine!

Are you ok?

Are you ok?

It's ok, the bro's here.

Thank you, sir.

Let me help.

Thank you.

I'll be ok now.

You ok, pal?

Fine, thank you.

Come on...

Come on, boy.

Let's go.

Heel, boy!

Hi, Daoud.

My cash.

Give me more time. I lost a job but I won't forget.

You'd better not, bastard!

Shit, you stink! Piss off!

You send Daoud's cash to your folks?

Yeah.

You're crazy!

I had no choice.

Why did you do that?

Pretty brave, huh?

Brave? No, it's dumb.

You're worse than the kids I teach.

I'm not a kid.

You've never worked, you've no money...

I'll grow sick of it one day.

I need a man.

I lost you?

How do I see a man?

A bit like you,

but with a job and plans for a family. That's a man.

And, Fred,

I want to marry you.

I like that shirt.

Yeah?

You're sexy in it.

What're you doing?

INVITATION Class reunion

Yassine Tchoukliba!

What have you been up to?

I was on a Qatari project.

- Wild! - And you? What's up?

Career change.

Architecture's over, I'm a cop.

Crime squad.

Let's smoke.

I took some great weed from two Arab kids.

I don't smoke.

Sure?

I'll get some juice. See you later.

What's new, girls?

We got married.

Congratulations. Are your husbands here?

What a jerk!

We married each other.

You're married to each other?

Yeah.

Never mind.

Never mind?

See you later.

Yeah, cheers!

- How's it going? - Stan!

You really work for the Qataris?

I was on a big project.

Talented guy...

Hi, Stan.

Listen...

I'm with Clyde & Borrow.

I have a job for you.

I need to hook a Qatari.

They're buying up Paris, but have weird tastes.

I need a guy like you.

Wake up this time,

not like on exam day.

Mathias is here.

Call me?

Yassine?

Claire?

Sorry, my mistake.

No, it's me.

You've changed a lot.

But still as pretty.

You've resurfaced?

Yeah.

- Sorry I stood you up. - It's ok.

It's the best thing that happened to me.

I woke up and took control of my life.

Yeah?

30 kilos lighter, with a dream job.

Life's perfect.

Yassine!

I'll leave you.

Even if you like to make people wait.

Bye.

Bye...

Something wrong?

I'm ok.

I may have found work.

You've no papers.

Shit...

It's a pal. I'll tell him the truth.

Truth doesn't work.

Bye, Yassine.

Leaving?

Never mind.

Fred...

Yes?

Marry me, dude.

What?

Let's marry.

What's with you all?

You'd save me!

Lisa was right.

You're gay!

What?

A single interior designer...

Architect.

She'll be glad you're coming out!

Cut the crap. We marry and divorce.

Just to get my papers.

You can change my life.

Yassine, you're my best friend, my first gay pal...

- I'm not gay! - Ok.

You can't ask this! Lisa wants to get married.

She supports me.

If I marry you, I can't marry her for ages...

All right. Just to help you out.

Thanks, man!

- No sweat, my gay pal. - I'm not gay, ok!

Follow me, please.

The Qataris bought the zoo.

They want to open a green, 5-star hotel.

100 million euros.

You know Arab culture and customs.

With you, I have a big advantage.

Team work's no problem?

I love it. I'm better in a team.

I'm good solo too.

Of course.

Talk of the devil.

Why's he here?

Claire, please.

Not with him.

I'll put Quentin with Yassine.

What?

I got us the tender!

What's with her?

Hamid, put the hookah away.

I told you, not in class!

One last puff.

It calms me!

All right, let's carry on.

What does the writer mean by,

"Yo, easy, yo, man,

I'm gonna fuck you."

I remember, ma'am, let me look at my book...

It's a megalophone!

No, not at all. Anyone else?

It's a metaphor. He's just saying, "Get lost."

Exactly!

Excuse me.

Hamid, you're in charge.

What's up? Are you ok?

Yeah, fine.

- I have news. - A job?

No, that's not it.

You want to marry?

Yes...

But...

That's her guy?

I'm as ripped as him.

Eat for strength, pal.

A fight!

It's an excuse to stay put!

So marry him and I'll find work.

Anything, not to marry me.

It's not that, Lisa.

I love you.

I'll marry you next.

This marriage will only happen over my dead body!

Mr Yassine Tchoukliba,

do you take as your husband

Mr Frédéric Philippe Maurice

Marcel Marval?

I do.

Mr Frédéric Philippe

Maurice Marcel Marval,

do you take as your husband

Mr Yassine Tchoukliba?

Your Honour, I'd like to say a few words.

Yassine...

My Yaya...

I love you as skin loves sun,

as hair loves the wind,

as a bee loves a tulip,

as Romeo loved Juliet...

but with a happy end.

I love you like me,

the way we love each other,

and you too, of course.

At times, in a relationship,

you make sacrifices.

But always for love.

I love you.

- Well? - Sorry.

I do.

I declare you husband and husband.

You may kiss.

Yes, that's right...

It'll be champagne tonight.

And cock too!

Can I start working now?

Yes...

- Thanks for coming. - Let go!

- Congratulations! - Thank you.

It's temporary, ok.

You're ruining my life.

A quick photo?

Great!

First class!

Mrs Tchoukliba deserves it.

Tonight, Mrs Tchoukliba

will give her husband a good time!

What are you talking about?

You think you're hot?

I'm hotter than you.

Hello.

Don't mind us.

- Ok, Rachid? - Yeah, and you?

- Ok, Daoud? - No, I'm not!

3 x 400 makes?

1,200.

1,500. 3 x 400, what do you owe me?

1,500?

It's ok, I've found work.

Make it soon or you're dead meat!

Nice dog.

He likes you too. Mind him Saturday.

I'm helping my mum.

Watch him, or you're dead meat too!

Have a good day.

Don't ever drink from my can again!

Lunchtime.

Want a pizza?

I'm ok.

Are we good here?

Why wouldn't we be?

No reason. You're right.

Let's make a good team.

No.

We're not a team.

You work for me.

I work for you?

Ok, I work for you.

I said, "I work for you?

Me?

No way."

Well done.

Gonna score now?

No, I focus on work.

Let go of me! No!

The guy's crazy! He'll drive you mad!

Let go of me!

Let's get out of here!

Tchoukliba! Marval!

Cheats like that make me sick.

What is this? What about the Republic?

And France?

Sons of France, awake to Glory...

I know France.

I served in Iraq.

In the Foreign Legion.

Let's move along.

A paper marriage?

No.

I know them too.

Olga Popova, 21.

We look like a perfect couple, don't we?

Yes.

However surprising it may be,

she did it for her papers.

No?

I was had.

I swore it wouldn't happen again.

So...

Is it a paper marriage?

No.

All right.

That'll be all.

But we'll meet again soon.

We're in deep shit.

If he busts us,

no job, jail, deportation and my parents in tears.

Doorbell!

You drag, I'm trying to play!

What a drag...

Hello, Officer Dussart.

Hello.

Hello, Officer Dussart.

- What? - Come here.

May I come in? Unless you have something to hide.

- Not at all. - Excuse me.

One toothbrush?

Yes, we share everything.

A single bed?

Because we love to spoon.

Handy for sex.

Yes, we love having sex.

Like this.

It's ok, he's gone.

- He's gone! - Sure?

When did you meet?

A year ago.

Plans for the future?

We have a dream.

If we can save enough,

we'd like to do up a farm and breed.

Breed what?

- Horses. - Trout.

Trout or horses?

We said horses.

Why do you decide?

Ok. Any other plans?

I'd like to get pregnant.

It's a dream.

All right.

We didn't offer you a drink.

Coffee? A mojito?

- Next time. - Ok, bye!

Hello, dear colleague.

I'm on the case of Yassine Tchoukliba

from your town, who has married Frédéric Marval.

Could you tell me if he's married in Morocco?

I'll check our database right away. Please hold.

Zouileikha!

What?

Is the Tchoukliba boy married?

No. His mother's getting impatient.

She'll be happy. He's married in France.

Negative, sir.

He isn't married here.

Thank you.

Please accept my esteemed considerings.

He hung up...

He's a nightmare.

Calm down, everything's fine.

- Are we credible? - No.

Ok. You're my husband. You sleep here!

- No way. - Just a few days.

No, Fred and I can't sleep apart.

Think I enjoy this?

That maniac can come anytime!

Nothing to say?

You'd sleep here?

Unbelievable.

Don't go, Lisa.

Lisa, come back!

Sorry.

She'll get over it.

Let's learn to be credible.

- Why take the blind guy's dog? - He won't notice.

Chopi helps us fit in.

Yeah?

Gays love little dogs.

What's up, Chopi?

Bad mood today? Naughty boy!

You're a naughty boy, Chopi!

Daoud lent you cash?

He was cool about his dog.

We're gonna need it.

But you pay him back.

To be credible,

we need the codes to blend in. Watch and learn.

- See, Chopi's good. - Smart move.

Look!

They're dressed alike!

A mixed couple!

Like us!

I'm so happy!

We've got the look!

Right, Chopi?

If Dussart thinks we're straight after this...

Hi, lovers!

Be at the Toolbox Saturday.

We've done it, bro!

We're in now!

Don't mind me!

Seriously?

Shit!

Stop!

Stop for Chopi!

Stop!

Don't worry, your bro's here.

My head hurts.

It'll be ok, fella.

You think so?

I meant Chopi.

What'll you tell the blind guy?

What the vet said.

Rest, low light and he'll be as good as new.

He won't see a thing.

I'm sorry, Chopi.

Daddy's naughty. I won't do it again.

Nice. What is it?

The Qatari project.

D'you shave your balls?

You should.

You gain half an inch.

A weekend in Rome.

Friday to Sunday. Up for it?

I'll think about it.

Yeah?

We're making progress...

I'll let you work.

Stan's hot for you?

Sorry, none of my business.

Exactly.

Got the hall plans?

I had another idea. Want to see?

You don't have ideas, Stan and I do.

Hello.

Mr Tchoukliba, please.

Hello, have you got a minute?

No... Yes, of course.

Let's get a coffee.

So, how's the job?

Great. I'm happy here.

I'll be frank.

My boss doesn't know I'm gay and married.

He doesn't?

He's gay too. And aggressive. If he knows, he'll hassle me.

- Everything ok? - Great.

Officer Dussart.

Stanislas Dubreuil, my boss.

How do you do?

Impressive muscles.

- You play squash? - No.

May I ask you a few questions?

I'm busy,

but we can do it in my office.

You seem tense.

He is tense.

Let me relax you.

I feel a lot of tension.

Gotta go. I have what I need.

Going already?

He seems nice.

Very.

THE TOOLBOX

Good evening.

The barge video guy?

Maybe.

You're awesome!

Thanks.

Go on in.

"Dance if you're a man." See that?

Blowjob?

Thanks, I'm ok.

Leave him be, it's not a sex club!

- He's sweet. - No worries.

That's your guy?

My husband.

Jaws, what did I tell you?

Champagne, honey?

Please...

About time!

Dussart's here!

Hello, boys!

David Gayta here!

Don't stop now.

Don't forget...

Saturday 29th, our annual contest,

"Dance if you're a man"!

Who'll take on our champions

to be couple of the year?

Let's hear it for Marc and Christophe!

Who'll challenge them?

This year's couple?

We have our challengers!

Let's hear it for them!

Music!

No, don't go yet.

Dussart!

It's Dussart...

Lisa? What the hell?

Dussart mustn't see you!

Hide in the closet!

Seriously?

You drag! The closet's too small.

Put this on, pal.

Move it!

Yes, coming!

Honey, I'll get the door!

Just a second!

Here I come!

Get on the couch.

Here I am!

Mum?

It's my mum!

Mum?

- Not glad I'm here? - I am!

Shame on you!

Why?

The wedding. Thought I wouldn't find out?

The whole village knows.

Hold on, I can explain.

Explain what?

Where is she?

Who?

Your wife!

My wife?

Frédérique!

Frédérique?

She's here.

Right here.

Hello.

My mother... Your mother-in-law.

Yes...

Hello, mum-in-law.

Why's she in the closet?

Yassine likes everything neat, so I'm tidying up.

That's good.

I finally see you!

You're very beautiful.

Thank you.

I'm so happy for my son.

Me too.

Me too!

How did you get here?

By bus.

I forgot to say goodbye to Magid.

Are you nuts?

I didn't know!

You've totally lost it!

- Where's Fred? - No idea.

Bye! Thank you!

What a miracle!

Come here, you pig.

I'm not a pig.

You're my little piggy!

This'll be hot.

No thanks.

I'll show you love.

You hid her because she's French?

No, Mum, it's not that.

You're beautiful. I can see you're in love.

I hope my son treats you right.

He's changed my life.

Haven't you?

Let's fix the wedding.

- What wedding? - In Morocco. They can't wait.

I'll give you a royal wedding!

- Don't waste money. - You'll pay

for this royal wedding.

The whole family chipped in.

Your sister gave her last salary.

Poor girl.

Why are you so pale?

I've seen things...

Why go for the S&M gear?

You're living out a cliché, guys.

Gays aren't the Village People, leather shirts and lapdogs.

That's ridiculous.

You're right.

Thank you.

I'll tell Mum you're a homeless pal.

Your name's Yves.

If Dussart turns up, you'll be around.

Yves really sucks.

Hold on, I have a better idea.

Tell her.

Impossible! My family will never get over it.

As Frédérique, keep my mum at bay, please.

You too, pal. Dussart mustn't meet my mother!

I'm sick of this...

Yves really sucks.

Thanks, guys.

Late again? Come in.

The name's Hamid

I eat cakes 24-7 Lettuce, tomatoes, onions

Hamid! Hamid, please!

- I love you! - Quiet now.

Dylan!

I said no knives in class.

Enough.

It ain't mine, it's Tarek's!

No, you say, "It isn't mine."

It's a butterfly, not a knife.

Don't rat me out or I'll fuck you.

No metaphors.

Please!

Calm down.

A lady...

- What? - A lady's here.

No one moves, ok.

I'll fuck you!

Lower your eyes, ok.

No way.

Why are you here? I'm working.

The invitations...

Can't it wait?

Here, this one smells nice.

It does.

A bit...

They're rowdy.

Yes, but they work hard.

See?

Yes...

They're happy.

It's crazy.

What would you like for your wedding?

There is one thing...

- I've had a few ideas. - Ignore me...

This...

A bride needs at least ten outfits.

Still single?

What?

Your pendant...

Yes.

Maybe you're gay.

What?

Why d'you say that?

Thanks for the invite. Count me in.

Cool!

What invite?

A weekend at my country place.

Get to work.

1, 2, 3, 4,

5, 6, 7, 8...

Get into it!

Two weeks to the contest.

The porté now.

Concentrate!

Hold me right.

You can't...

Hi...

What's up, Daoud?

You two are gay?

What?

Mutual respect, ok.

No hogwash!

Do we look gay?

What's this?

That's...

That's different, I'll explain.

I'm gay too.

What?

I like men.

I'm into them.

I'm gay now?

I'd rather get fucked up the ass!

It'll be ok...

Hands off, fag! I want my 1,700 euros,

plus the 300 I lent him!

It feels good. I can't tell anyone.

I couldn't say it.

It feels good.

We'll carry on kick-boxing.

Shit, I love cocks!

Muay Thai boxing...

What a shock.

I love your trainers.

Yes, harder!

Come on, bitch!

We're waiting.

Ok, I'm coming.

- Ok, baby? - Yeah.

"Baby" is me actually.

Are you ready?

So, Fred loves...

Video games, sleeping on the left, massaging my scalp, perfume, hair gel,

puppies and trout.

Yassine loves

sleeping on the right, peeing with the door open, his job,

trying other's dishes, his mum' stew...

He loves that.

His favourite architect is Jean Nouveau.

- Nouvel. - Seriously?

Best honeymoon spot?

Peru. We saw a film on Machu Picchu.

Last birthday present?

A PSG rug!

Crap present...

Lisa gave it to me.

You hated my present?

What was your last one to me?

I don't have a job...

Find one instead of playing gay!

Ok, everyone?

I have the beads for your dress.

Lovely! The ones we wanted!

I'm so excited.

A wedding dress?

I did my best...

Any chocolate?

I hate sugar almonds.

It's going too far!

This can't go on.

His wife's so sweet...

Beautiful!

And at work,

Yassine has an important job.

Well done!

He knows his viaducts!

This is her dress.

Lovely.

They'll look great. I'm proud of him.

Tomorrow, he has his big presentation at work.

Our project respects animals, visitors and hotel guests...

No, not Rihanna. We said Beyoncé.

He wants Beyoncé.

Just add 2 million. It's his birthday.

Gentlemen,

we're careful with our money

and your project lacks ambition.

It's all recycled.

Nothing new.

Let's buy a soccer club.

No, wait!

Let my colleague present the key points.

He has worked in Qatar.

You look familiar.

You don't like the project,

but we have another idea closer to your expectations.

Trust me.

Sorry, it's nothing!

It's a virus!

That's haram!

- It's nothing... - It's haram!

This meeting's over.

It's hara!

No, listen to us!

I worked for Qatar Corp. They don't declare workers.

Blackmail?

Give us two minutes.

It will be an unforgettable experience in a wild area in Paris.

Thank you.

The first sketch.

Its modern aspect makes it fit in with urban planning.

It's a crossroads between...

Who was the trainer-licker?

It was spam.

Spam? Sure.

- It's true. - It was yours.

What d'you mean?

Why have it otherwise?

That was close.

They loved the project.

Your idea, Yassine?

No.

Claire's and mine.

All right.

They're hooked. Send the quote.

Got the rest?

At home.

We need it fast. Let's go.

Right now?

Good evening, Officer Dussart.

I need to carry out

an investigation.

I may be blind but I can smell a scam.

Goodbye!

See how I got rid of him, Chopi?

I'll show you how.

Note the recipe, Frédérique.

We'll have a good couscous at the wedding.

Need apartment empty. Keep Mum out!!!

Ok, I'm on it...

Answer him. I'm sick of it.

Raz-el-hanout... Know that spice mix?

The jerk!

It's ok.

You're a total jerk...

What?

What a jerk...

Are you ok?

Sorry, he tripped. Let's find a pharmacy.

However long it takes,

I'll get you, Tchoukliba.

Chopi, you ate my sandwich!

What did we say?

Naughty little dog!

It takes Daddy ages to make one.

"Come and fuck me..."

Chopi!

Come in.

Fuck!

Don't get ideas.

I share with a gay guy.

Right...

Your parents' house. Finished?

Not yet.

I'll use my bonus if we get the Qatari deal.

Why did you leave me?

Was I too fat?

You weren't fat.

They called me Hippo.

I found you beautiful.

In Morocco,

they go wild for hippos.

You were ashamed.

Ashamed of myself.

Ashamed of failing,

of being illegal.

- I couldn't stay for the wrong reasons. - So you left for them.

Where's the file?

I'll get you, you bastard.

Who's there?

Who's there? Chopi, get him!

Chopi?

It's not in my bedroom.

- What're you hiding? - Nothing.

Sorry.

I have to go.

Shit!

What did you do to my dog?

He jumped from the window!

I can't work like this!

Chopi!

What happened?

Just cous... cussion.

What?

It's nothing, I'm fine.

Look what we've bought.

Stop, it's too much.

Better than not enough.

Keep it small.

I've invited everyone. Even your colleagues.

Hold on...

My colleagues at work?

We're keeping busy.

About the sugar almonds...

I did my best, really.

She's kidding?

Why's no one here?

Am I the only one working?

Freeze!

If you move, you're dead.

If you cry out, you're dead.

If you're dead...

you're dead.

- Yassine? - What?

I can see you.

Stanou...

I was working all night on the quote.

I was scared you were a burglar.

Oh, right...

Rest up, Yassine.

For the Qataris.

Right, I'll be going.

Hi.

Hi.

You're in early.

About last night...

Frankly, we shouldn't have kissed.

Don't expect me to fall for you again two years on.

We're colleagues. Period.

As a colleague, join us for the weekend.

I wish I could but...

my life's complicated.

We'd like to go to Peru.

We saw Machu Picchu on TV.

Mr Marval, this won't be easy for you.

Be strong.

Mr Tchoukliba is fooling you.

What?

It's obvious to me you're homosexual.

But as for him...

He's heterosexual.

Impossible. He always wants to...

Some people are gifted simulators.

I'll keep an eye on him.

Hello!

Sorry...

Do you know Machu Picchu?

It's in Peru.

What's wrong?

Found a chick?

The hell I have.

Stop lying. You'll get busted. You keep ignoring me.

What?

Did she jump from a bridge for you?

- Cut the crap. - He saw you with her.

Aren't we supposed to be gay?

- What are we? - Gay.

Exactly! I'm gay! You're gay! We're gay!

Gay!

Ok, bros?

This is it, Tchoukliba.

All right, daughter.

Try it on.

No, not now. I'll try it on later.

Madam... Madam...

Hello, honey.

Hello.

Sorry to be so direct...

I love handsome Arabs.

Thank you, but no.

Playing hard to get?

I often say no too.

But when I say no,

it means yes...

I'm gay too.

Hello, miss...

As you can see, I'm an Arab too.

No, thank you.

When you say no,

you mean yes.

No means no, ok!

We're all the same.

We always cry when we try the dress on.

5, 6, 7 and 8!

Shit, I'm hot stuff!

Know what?

I finally think I'm good at something.

I feel proud and totally motivated.

We're gonna ace this contest.

- I have to be there this weekend. - Where?

At Claire's.

You'd wreck it all for her?

What if the inspector turns up?

I'll risk it.

You're losing it.

That maniac won't give up!

My 3,000 euros?

Stay.

You argued?

He doesn't deserve you.

Cut it out, Daoud! I'm married!

I have to go.

I like your perfume.

Chopi's doing well in his cast. Right, Chopi?

One euro, please.

For the baby.

Please...

Yeah, I managed to get away.

Cool.

Go in, everyone's here.

I'll do the pork kebabs.

It's ok, there's ham too.

They nest here every year.

I'm here.

- Cool, you made it. - For you.

Thank you.

Make yourself at home.

See them? Nightingales.

Bravo!

A bit of wind. Want to try?

Arch your back.

Stay supple.

Arched nicely...

Let me try.

Give me room.

You hit the nest!

Sorry...

Don't touch.

They'll get your smell.

The mother will abandon them.

They're hungry.

Got a spoon?

Here you go.

There.

That's so cute!

I'll get some bananas.

That was awesome.

Dussart!

Can't you stop pissing me off?

I'm sick of you!

Enough!

That's my mum!

It isn't! It's a man!

Fake boobs.

No, they're real.

Fucking bastard!

Claire, who is this guy?

- My bad... - Get lost!

Yes, Mum?

Mr Dussart's here to see you.

Don't worry, I'll look after him.

What? Don't talk to him! I'm on my way!

Ok, let's get started.

So...

How are things with Frédéric?

Wonderful. She's very kind.

You say "she"?

Frédérique.

How did he tell you?

He hid it at first.

But you accepted...

It's not easy. It's not done in Morocco.

But I want my son to be happy.

If he marries Frédérique, he's really in love.

A cake?

No, thank you.

- Where's Dussart? - He just left.

What did he say?

He asked lots of questions. I told him everything.

What do you mean?

He was pleased. He's going to call me.

He'll call you too.

You're here?

About time.

This contest matters to me.

- I have to tell you... - Don't bother.

I'm sick of your problems. Think I enjoy this?

I did this for your papers!

Forget me now.

It's ok. Dussart busted me.

It's no use now.

We have to sign before the bank closes...

in five minutes.

That's it.

I recognize him!

The bridge guy from YouTube!

I recognize him now!

Be at my son's birthday party.

All my kids love you. Mohammed, Nadia, Sonia, Ahmed, Hafid...

Samir too.

- Where were we? - Right here.

Bravo, sir.

This is where we first kissed.

You're right.

Stop that!

- Why? - Dussart might be here!

Don't you think we need to talk?

Not now, babe.

Bravo, you two.

You've made your name.

Plus you get a tidy bonus.

I knew you'd work well together.

Champagne?

You can build that house back home.

Have a glass.

You got my messages?

Please, let me explain.

Crazy stuff is happening.

I lost control...

Drop dead!

Hippo!

That's for "Hippo".

That's for my mum.

And that's for leaving me.

One more.

For what I'm about to do.

I think they're happy for us.

Nothing to tell me?

We're not doing well.

You're not happy, me neither.

You're more my friend than my man.

Yes, but...

But what?

Things are kind of weird.

I'll always love you.

But we're through.

You mean...

It's over! Shut up,

so we can watch the movie!

What do you want from me?

I want to win you back.

To dump me again?

Since we met up again,

I've realized something.

My real joy is you.

Yassine, it's Fred. Pick up.

Your mum wants you.

She's seeing Dussart.

I'm sorry about the other evening, but I'd like you to come.

A husband supports his husband.

What are we, Yassine? We're gay!

I'm at the Toolbox. I'm counting on you.

See you, man.

You'll waste them, even without that fag.

What? He drank from my can?

I'm on my way.

I'll fuck him, his dad, his mum...

Not his mum.

His brother,

his cousin, his pals, I'll skewer the lot!

Expecting someone?

- You knew Dussart was here? - What?

You're here for him, right?

Screw Dussart.

I'm here for you, man.

The contest matters for you.

Seriously?

Yeah!

For me?

I spoke to Dussart. Your papers,

you get them.

How?

You're good.

- He bought it. - Seriously?

I'll never forget this.

Tonight's your night.

We'll give it our all.

The Cowboys of Ouarzazate!

What is this?

Now, my screwdrivers,

let's hear it for Saucy Yassine

and Foxy Fred!

Please...

Please...

Stop now, please.

I don't deserve this.

I'm a liar.

Mr Dussart, I've never been gay.

Oh, no, what a waste!

He's coming in! How brave!

I'm straight too.

But I love sucking cocks.

Mum...

I never married Frédérique.

Her name's Lisa.

And she's the girlfriend of Yves, my husband

and best friend,

Fred.

Claire,

I should never have lied to you

but I trapped myself.

I'm sorry for causing you pain.

Even if you won't see me again, know this.

One thing is true...

I love you.

This is so embarrassing...

Run after her, stupid!

Run!

Run, man!

Go!

Move!

Block the cops!

Let me blow you!

Let me blow you, please!

Claire!

Freeze or I'll tase you!

Yassine, how are you?

- Know him? - He's Yassine!

Goodbye, gentlemen!

Get him!

Move it!

Grab him!

Stop!

Claire!

Grab him!

Take him in!

Come here!

Move!

You nearly had me.

Game over!

Take him in!

Lower your head.

Bye, Yassine.

See you!

Tchoukliba!

You can go.

Claire?

What?

Clyde & Borrow The new face of French architecture

Here, son.

Thanks, Mum.

Yassine, France is over.

There's nothing good for you there.

France welcomed me.

It gave me real friends.

And...

I found love.

I ruined everything.

Afraid of disappointing you.

I love you, my son.

I'll always be proud of you.

Drink your coffee while it's hot.

Chin up, my son, chin up.

Give me a hand.

Mind the couch!

Who has the boxes now?

You're hard to find.

Need a hand?

Fred, why are you here?

I want my alimony.

No news for months. Call that normal?

I know. Sorry, man.

No sweat. Daoud lent me cash.

Know if Claire's ok?

Ask her yourself.

I hear they like hippos here.

I came to check.

Music! It's my son's wedding!

When's your wedding?

Set a date.

We already have.

You've found your wives?

No.

We're marrying each other.

Never mind.

Thank you.

Let's go!

Can you put this on the table?

Hamid, three mint ones for that group there.

With hash?

A bit.

- Everything ok? - Yeah.

Good work.

Thanks.

I've found my vocation: wedding planner.

Great, could you do ours?

Well... Yes.

I'd love to.

If you could also...

Be your witness?

Yes.

Well... yes.

Thank you!

You'll fuck up their wedding.

Come on, Chopi.

Everyone's happy.

It's good to be together.

All right...

Tell the truth to save time.

It's a paper marriage?

A shady marriage?

To take advantage of Morocco?

Buy up riads, sleep in hammams, eat pastries?

No.

We're opening an architecture firm.

No? Yes!

Unemployed? Not enough work in France?

Note this and remember it.

It's not Morocco's vocation to welcome the world's poor!

No!

I'll stick to you.

Like a lion after a deer.

Like a cheetah after an antelope.

Like a monkey after another monkey.

A female monkey!

I am the Dusseldorf jackal!

That's why I have this office.

That's why I have this tie.

I'm not here by chance!

I'm ferocious!

All right.

Licence, registration and insurance, please.

"I'm the Dusseldorf jackal."

Subtitles by Ian Burley

Subtitling: HIVENTY