Original subtitles

Take a chance.

No one says.

People are afraid to care.

People to praise again.

Look at this. Look at this.

Not good.

Bob,

you want a real challenge? Always go ahead and speak to me. Speak to me.

You see that lovely young thing over there sitting next to the comatose

What do you mean, the brunette?

Yeah, this is a real challenge. Let me give you a little background

all right? A, she's very interested in art, and B, she will never leave her

blonde friend ever.

Well, I'll see what I can do. With any luck, I won't be back.

All right, go get him.

Believe me, this will never happen.

I'm

not too

crazy about being stared at. Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

It's just that you could have been painted by Modigliani.

That probably doesn't mean anything to you.

No. Hey, that's okay.

Thanks. Listen, I realize this is such a cliche, but I have to know, what is

your sign?

I'm a Leo.

Gauguin was a Leo. So was Matisse.

And my friend, Klaus Oldenburg.

Klaus Oldenburg is your friend? Yeah, we celebrated his birthday last week.

Oh, wow.

You know, as whimsical as his stuff is, he's a very serious guy.

Yeah, right.

Did you ever see his eraser?

Come on.

I'm an art major.

What an incredible coincidence.

My godfather is Willem de Kooning.

Denise, I'll call you later.

Right.

Yes, right.

I'm sorry. Don't feel bad. The man's a master.

So, do you have a car here? Can I give you a lift? Am I out?

Leaving already?

Yeah. I know it's a poignant moment for you.

What are you so upset about?

You seemed to enjoy yourself pretty thoroughly last night.

Oh, the sex was all right.

Your warmth as a human being needs a little work.

What did I say?

Well, I think the romantic high point for me was when you said, you can spend

the night as long as you don't make noises in your sleep.

Don't get up. I hate sentimental farewell.

Good morning, Susie. Good morning, James.

Good morning, Freda. Thanks.

Oh, here are your transcripts.

Oh, and here's a little goodie for your boss.

White shoulders.

Why doesn't the man get his love letters at home?

I have to carry them up here. Everybody thinks it's me wearing white shoulders.

No comment, James.

Me. I mean, it's really embarrassing.

I mean, I'm a sexy guy.

Sorry, Skip. A $15 ,000 settlement's all I can offer.

Come on. She was a guest, not a business invitee.

Uh -huh. Yeah, well, I'd love to hear you tell a jury that your client didn't

know the difference between a dumb waiter or a bathroom. What was he doing,

sniffing glue?

Yeah, all right.

Just let me know tonight.

Okay.

Of course.

We talked about art.

Yeah, all right.

See you later. When does the senator want to see me?

Now.

Yes,

sir.

Carl Avila said that you were pretty sneaky in that P .I. case.

Said he couldn't have bluffed a better settlement himself.

Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.

You know, Rob, I always...

Throw a barbecue on my birthday for the partners and their wives.

It's a week from Saturday. You gonna make it this year?

Same old problem, sir. I'm not one of the partners with a wife.

Yeah? Senator, I have Mr. Peel on line one for you. Right.

You're no kid.

You're pushing 30.

Nobody trusts an old bachelor.

I'll keep that in mind.

Yeah. Now get out of here. Yes, sir.

I don't pay you 60 grand a year to stand around and light these things for me.

Uh, Senator?

You don't pay me 60 grand a year. That's what you pay the married guys.

You should go to the ACLU, Robert.

That's discriminatory.

Strickland.

I mean, nobody trusts you now, Bobby. Imagine what you'll be like when you're

50.

Where do you want to eat? I don't care.

You like Hungarian?

You want to go there? Yeah.

Oh, look at that.

Pardon me. You don't know me, but I need a wife so I can go to the company

barbecue. Are you free?

Well, when's the barbecue?

A week from Saturday.

Oh, that's rotten luck. My senior prom's a week from Saturday. Oh, darn. Well,

listen, if you won't marry me, how about letting me bite you behind the knee?

Would that be okay with you, or would that ruin your day?

Oh, no, that would be fine. It really would.

But my boyfriend's a longshoreman, and if he saw the teeth marks, he'd hunt you

down and rip out your heart with his bare hands.

Bye.

Smooth. Get something to eat. Come on.

Hello, ladies. How are you this evening?

Good evening.

I know. Hold me back. Hold me back. I can't stop myself.

You're kind of subdued tonight.

Hey, Gord. Have you ever had a real conversation with any of these girls?

Yeah, once.

I said, pardon me, have you ever read The World According to Garth?

And this chick said, well, I know, you know, geography's a real downer.

I never tried that again. I can see why.

Everybody's in it for their own gratification. Even that isn't any fun

time. You've got to try and think more about the other half, I think.

Do you know how long it's been since I've laughed with a girl?

You're not supposed to laugh with girls, dummy.

Why isn't there anybody you can like?

You really are depressed. And the sad fact is, if you did meet somebody like

that, how would you even know it? Yeah. See what I'm going to do. I'm going to

hit on one of these real unlikable creatures and get some gratification

get as bummed out as you are.

See you tomorrow.

Forty pages of interrogatories on a case like this. Plus, the plaintiff wants to

know if there have been any other personal injury suits involving the R

compact sewing machine.

Respond that their question is vague, ambiguous, and unintelligible. Yeah,

ought to hold things up for another month. Beautiful. It's perfect.

Your new investigator's here.

Fine. Get him settled in his office. I'll be with him in a couple of minutes,

Freda. I gotta go anyway, Bobby.

Old man Wurtz is buying me lunch today. We'll try to keep him down to two Bloody

Marys. The man's got a deposition this afternoon.

I'll do what I can. I'll see you in a couple hours. Right.

She's in her closet. I heard her gasping for air.

Who? Your new investigator.

I thought you said he before.

No, I didn't.

You did.

Come in.

We thought maybe you'd suffocated in here.

Oh. Oh, no.

I don't mind the close quarters as long as I can have visiting privileges.

Hello.

Well, hi.

Are you my new boss, or are you just here to bite me?

No, I... Longshoremen scare me.

Listen, I'm sorry about that.

Oh, no, don't be sorry.

It was a nice little moment of triumph for me.

I'm Isabel Ross.

Robert Christenberry?

Firm handshake.

Yes, I have firm hands.

Yes. Well, since it's your first day on the job, Ms. Ross, why don't I treat you

to lunch?

Watch him. He will bite.

It's okay. I bite back.

Anyway, after law school, I hooked on to Senator Strickland's last campaign.

When he lost the election, he asked me to join the firm.

Aren't you really young to be a junior partner?

I am the youngest in the history of the law firm, but I cheated. I'm a terrific

lawyer.

O 'Neill, your specialty?

Let me ask you. Do you like working for a firm that defends insurance companies

and corporations?

Sure. Why, don't you think big companies are entitled to due process?

I don't know. I guess if I were a lawyer, I'd want to go out and defend

and Vanzetti.

Oh, go for causes, huh?

Yeah. I think it was the way I was raised.

My father went to Spain with the Lincoln Brigade in 1937.

And I was raised to believe that Eleanor Roosevelt was a saint. Oh, well, your

folks and my folks would get along great.

My father thinks Jane Fonda is the Antichrist.

You know all about me. What about you?

Well, there's not much to tell.

Oh, your father went to Spain and now here you are, huh?

About it.

Look, it's okay. It's not a quiz. If you want to be a mystery lady, that's fine

with me. I'm not trying to be a mystery lady. I just don't want to talk about

myself. Well, you don't have to get defensive.

I'm very sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Well, let's see. I was born in Chicago.

I was raised in Maine.

Then I got married and I moved to San Francisco.

My divorce... attorney, the friend of John Strickland. They got together and

found me this job.

Let's see. What else?

Favorite color is Parisian blue. Parisian blue. Great color.

Favorite movie star is Jean -Paul Belmondo. Great actor.

And my favorite food is boiled king crab legs. Great legs. That's what you can

order when I take you out to dinner.

Are you asking me for a date? No.

Well, thank you, but no thank you. No thank you. Why?

Well, for any number of reasons.

One, we barely know each other.

Two, you're my boss.

Three, you are much too good -looking and self -confident.

And the reasons that you wouldn't want to get mixed up with me would fill a

book. Oh, really?

Yeah. And what's the matter?

Nothing.

All I did was ask you out to dinner. I actually thought I was pretty cute about

it. Come on, why are you so upset?

I'm not.

Excuse me, sir, do you have any flowers in blue?

How about this? One of those, just one. How about a buck, okay?

There you go. Thank you, sir.

Now, you can't be testy with your new boss not after he gives you a flower in

your favorite color.

Come on, just forget I asked you out, okay? Friends?

Yes, friends.

What about my blue heaven?

Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. And now, here's one everybody

A one, two, a one, two, three, four.

Any lady with a flower must know how to jitterbug.

Here we go.

Isabel?

Isabel? I think we should get back to the office.

Yeah, I love the new briefcase. I knew you would.

That's not your new investigator.

Uh -huh.

Wow.

Mine always looked like Walter Cronkite.

Do something, Gordon.

I could really like her.

Wait a minute. Then why is the party of the first part over there bullying while

the party of the second part is standing here looking embarrassed?

She's a free spirit.

Let me tell you something, Bobby, from an old friend.

You're in way over your head.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Hi, Isabel.

Any messages?

Oh, yes. These are yours right here. Oh, thank you. Another long day?

A long three weeks. I have learned more about sewing machines than I ever wanted

to know. I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, bye -bye.

Look, I'm going to try it, okay? You can't dribble with this thing. It's just

shoe.

Okay, what do we got? 16, 16, 18. A lot of pressure.

Okay, okay, it's a hush in the stadium. He shoots, and... Oh, look at the game!

Hey,

guess what?

What? On deposition that Mrs. Padakis threw away her directions for the sewing

machine. Anyone that stupid deserves to lose a piece of their thumb. Oh, you're

all harsh. Yeah. What did you come up with?

Well, the man who sold her the machine...

told her that she should buy a simpler model if she'd never used one before, or

at least take some free lessons.

So they offered, but she declined.

Nicely done, Ms. Ross.

Thank you.

That's the ballgame.

Should we offer them a token settlement?

Let them stew for a couple of weeks, and then we'll scare them down to $500.

The Ruthless Brothers strike again. Thank you.

Listen, uh, anybody want a bite to eat? I'm buying.

Can't do it. I got a date. What a good day's work, partner. Great day's work,

partner.

Well, how about it, mine?

Offer for a bite to eat still stands.

Oh, I don't think so. Thank you, though, very much. Come on. It won't be a date.

You're a nice boss, and we have a happy relationship.

I'd just like to keep it that way, please.

Okay, if you have other plans.

Oh, yes, I have big plans.

I'm going to catch a cable car, take it down to Fisherman's Wharf.

I'm going to unlock my bicycle, ride my bike home to Sausalito, wash my hair,

and go to bed with a good book.

Huckleberry Finn at your service.

So you come into the city on your bicycle, huh?

Yep. I love bicycling. It's one of my favorite things in the world. Is that

right? It's one of my favorite things, too.

Really? Sure.

Usually I just bicycle around Golden Gate Park on the weekends, but maybe

start riding down to Fisherman's Wharf myself in the mornings and we can ride

the cable car to work together.

Oh, that's great.

Great. Good night.

Good night.

Pennsylvania 6 -5 ,000.

Pennsylvania 6 -5

,000.

Pennsylvania 6 -5 ,000.

Pennsylvania 65 -00 -0.

Show off.

How are you today?

Oh, I am terrific.

Oh, me too, terrific.

Boy, this really picks you up first thing in the morning, doesn't it? Makes

feel great.

Is that it?

Our limousine is waiting.

Yeah, right.

Aren't you going to lock your bike? Huh?

Uh, no, I trust people.

This was Alan Friedman's case when it came to us four years ago, but he

before we got a court date. We've got one, and it's a very short six months

Thank you, Carolyn.

You should know we passed up several senior parties to hand this one to you,

Robert.

Well, I appreciate your confidence, sir.

You've got a tough judge, Nagelson. He is very quick to hand out default

judgments, and he'll do it in a second if he even thinks that you're

discovery. Plus, you'll be up against Peel.

Peel himself?

Don't be silly. They got Connor Williams on this, but they are no dummies.

You'll need new interrogatories, current medical exam on the plaintiff, and

maybe fresh depositions. That all depends.

Frankly, Friedman didn't think we had much of a defense.

Maybe you can come up with something.

Chip, you can learn a lot from Robert on this one.

Oh, I know I can, Mr. Rosen.

We're their partner, but we're their associate.

I'll check with you in a half an hour. Yes, sir.

Freda, we got a real biggie. A real biggie? A real, real biggie. What's a

real biggie? A $2 million personal injury suit to defend. Come in my

Freda, dig up all the old files on Fielding v.

Pinky Construction.

There's going to be a lot to do on this. Some poor cluck supposedly got crippled

on a construction site.

It's four years old, so we're going to need to re -interview everybody.

Oh. Take a memo.

To Ms. Ross.

From me.

Oh, dear.

Once upon a time, I spent every night of my life in singles bars looking for

women.

Up until recently.

I date my celibacy from the day you came to work here. The reason is that you

are witty, warm, mysterious, charismatic, material, sophisticated.

Oh, Robert.

Oh. And beautiful.

Compared to you, all the other women I have ever met are dromedaries.

Isabel, I really like you. We have got to see each other.

Robert, I like you, too. You are very,

very attractive and very bright.

I'm just too damn young.

For what?

For me. I'm almost 30. What are you, 37?

I hit it right on the button, didn't I?

Robert, it isn't the chronology.

There's a generation gap.

You're a child of television, and I'm a child of radio, and I just couldn't

possibly go out with a man who's never heard of Fred Allen.

And that's your cue.

You're supposed to say who was Fred Allen.

I don't suppose you mean the Fred Allen who hung around Allen's alley with

Senator Claghorn, Mrs. Nussbaum, and Titus Moody.

The Fred Allen who said, Oh, Portland, you don't mean him, do you?

Oh, God, you know who Fred Allen was.

Haven't you noticed by now?

I know everything.

Guess what's on the menu?

You may.

Drinks, jazz, Fred Allen, artichokes vinaigrette, prosciutto and melon, and a

chilled bottle of, uh, we say, subtle yet mischievous.

Ah, you were the wine.

What a beautiful apartment.

I cheated. I have terrific taste.

Now, drinks. White wine?

Um, I don't suppose you know how to make a martini.

Surprise! I do know.

Nice music.

Miles Davis, Sketches of Spain. You like it?

Lovely. Well, it's very mellow. Of course, you can't jitterbug to it.

I won't ask you to dance. I only do that in public places at high noon.

Right.

See? And you thought I couldn't make one.

That's perfect.

Thank you.

I better go get the artichokes underway.

I'll be right back.

What made you think of artichokes and prosciutto and melons? It's so elegant.

I just thought it would be something you like.

You're a very elegant lady.

Don't throw bouquets at me.

Don't please my folks too much.

To Isabel Ross, you made a great flag.

I think you have me confused with my Aunt Betsy.

I knew it was one of you.

That's right.

is the same. Hey, turn the volume back up. That's real sexy music.

Now I get it.

This is when I'm supposed to say, oh, wow, and skip on up to the bedroom, yes?

That's been known to happen.

Why do I feel like I'm in the back of a van?

Isabel, you really turned me on.

Oh, wait.

idea of a first kiss?

What was wrong with it?

I'll have a written report for you in the morning.

No one else ever complained about my kissing.

Oh, I'm sorry if I have crushed your fragile ego.

This was just a terrible mistake.

I am just too old for trick lighting and me tarving you, Jane.

And you're either too young or you're just too dumb to know when a woman

wants to be kissed.

So, has...

as it is to eat and run.

Good night, Mr. Kristen Berry, and good night, Mr. Allen, and good night, Mrs.

Calabash, wherever you are.

There's just no possibility of showing comparative negligence by the plane.

None. Zip. Now, Fielding was right where the protective walkway was when the

wrecking ball nailed him.

If I was him, I'd sue for $10 million.

They're obviously going to try to recover Ace Ipsa local to her.

Sounds like it's made with chutney.

What Ace Ipsa boils down to is all the plane has to do is prove that it

happened. And we're dead.

Well, you know, Chip, there are other solutions.

Bribery, perjury, withholding evidence, murder.

Now that's the ruthless Robert Christenberry, who's a legend in his own

firm.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch date. Yeah, I'll see you later,

Yeah, I better go to lunch myself. Excuse me.

Let's see, it's Tuesday, right?

Tuesday 5th?

No, that's Friday for some people, but not anymore, of course.

Lunch with Skip Shulman. Okay, good.

Frida?

Did you make reservations at Patterson's?

Frida? Frida went to lunch.

Oh, yeah, right.

I better call Miss.

No, she probably did it.

It's all right. If not, then Skip's secretary probably took care of it.

secretaries have a kind of telepathy communication.

What is it that you find so funny?

I'm sorry.

See that?

Listen,

I'm sorry I was so mean last night.

Oh, no, no, don't worry about it. No, it's just you were so heavy -handed.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, I have heavy hands.

Yeah.

Isabel, look, I want to talk to you. See, sometimes...

I just... Well, I didn't know any other... Obviously, you're not... Oh,

I'm really sorry.

Oh, I'm really sorry, too.

I guess I really blew it, didn't I?

Not necessarily.

Now, this is the way it's supposed to work.

You notice our proximity?

When I tilt my face like this, and I close my eyes like

this, now's when you kiss me.

You know how to kiss.

Thank you. It's my upbringing.

Really? Your parents taught you that?

No.

That's all we did when I grew up. That's all you did?

Yes. Nice girls never went all the way.

So we got very good at the preliminaries.

For example, you start with little kisses opposite corners of the mouth.

Like this.

You work your way inward.

And when you get to the middle, you get serious.

You know,

This isn't the first time I've ever done this.

No.

Really?

But I think it's the first time I ever made love.

Fantastic.

I never really cared about the other person before.

I mean, I...

I cared because if it was great for her, it was great for the old ego, but I

never wanted anybody to stay before.

And I want you to stay.

I never wanted to wake up with anybody before, but now you're

here.

And I want to wake up with you.

And you know what the most amazing thing is?

Really like you.

I really like you too, Robert.

Hey, what's the matter?

Nothing.

I know why you're crying.

You do?

You're crying because you're so happy.

Nobody has ever done that with me before.

Oh, Robert.

I told some old guy all this stuff three or four years ago. Well, he retired,

Mr. Riggs, so if we're going to do our jobs here, we've got to go over this

again. So let's press on, shall we? All right. All right. Fine.

Now...

What was the name of the man who was operating the crane for the day of the

accident?

Yeah, well, John Davenport.

But we got to talk about that.

What do you want to talk about, Mr. Riggs?

Look, the guy's an old friend. You're a job foreman. He needs a job.

He has a problem, but he promises not to bring it on the job with him.

What can you do?

What problem?

He drank a little.

He was drunk on the job?

Now, on the day of the accident, I honestly don't know. He'd been drunk

days?

Yes. Is there anything in writing?

Yes. Where?

In the job files of the company, along with the other paperwork on the project.

phone my office.

Oh.

Well, I don't believe it.

Well, I didn't find out anything earth -shattering.

We did.

Suppose we can assume Kona Williams aren't going to request those job files?

way we can assume the sun will come up.

Well, we'd better go tell the senator he'll want to go for a settlement.

Tell him tomorrow, okay?

All right.

I'll be right back.

It seems that our crane operator was given to drinking on the job, which

we're probably looking at another million dollars in punitive damages.

Oh, I am sorry.

My God.

That poor man, Mr. Fielding.

It was just a tragic, stupid, preventable act of negligence.

What a great opening statement for Conan Williams. Why don't you give him a

call?

Robert, it's ghastly. I mean, this is awful.

I grant you that. Let's change the subject, okay?

I'm sorry.

Take a memo.

You take a memo.

How about my place tonight?

You mean it? Yeah.

We'll ride out together after work. Ride out? Yeah, on our bikes. It'll be great

fun.

You know, I can't get over that. Poor Mr.

Fielding. Hey, feel sorry for me. Poor Mr.

Fielding's going to be rich.

I need this.

Right out.

Someone doing one of their favorite things in the world. You sure are.

No, I think there's something wrong with my bike. I think what's wrong with it

is this rider's a liar.

He hasn't ridden a bike for 20 years. What makes you say that?

Robert, it's very sweet to pretend it's for my benefit. Now, see, you might as

well learn to do it right.

Change to a higher gear.

How do I how? That little lever on the right. Push it forward.

Yeah. All right, just pedal smoothly.

Uh -huh. You can loosen your grip on the handlebars.

Okay.

How'd you get to be such an expert?

I've ridden a bike all my life. Taught my daughter to ride.

Even taught my ex -husband who's a flop kid.

Wait a minute. You have a daughter?

So what's this about a daughter?

It slipped out.

What's her name? How old is she?

Her name is Debbie, and she's considerably younger than I am.

Come on, Isabella, she lived with a black cat? Sorry, Counselor. What grade

she in? Cross -examination's over.

You'll ruin your clothes.

They're my clothes.

Do you like it?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

He used to be my godfather. I bet you didn't know that.

Who?

Willem de Koon. I told that to an art major once, back when I was a swinging

single. Was she a bigger pushover than I was?

There's one big difference.

What's that?

I don't want to lie to you.

Gee, I was kidding.

You turned serious on me.

I've been honest with a woman before in my life.

Robert, please don't get meaningful on me. Isabel, something a little

frightening is happening to me.

If you're turning into a werewolf, could you go do it in your own place? Cut it

out, Lee.

It's what I want to say that's scaring me. Then don't say it. When I've said it

before, I've always forced myself. But now, there it is, just waiting for me to

say it. Robert, please don't. Isabel. Robert.

I love you.

Robert, shut up. Don't say that again.

Well, now, you're supposed to say, I love you, too, and we waltz off together

into the sunset with violins and fireworks.

Can't you just accept our situation for what it is?

You know I can.

Of course.

What is it?

Well, it's two people who enjoy being with each other.

Period.

Do they like being with each other a lot, question mark?

Yes. Every day and every night?

Yes. Okay.

Then we'll live together.

Robert, you are crazy. Come on, Isabel. It'll be wonderful. Don't you

understand? I want to get to know your little daughter. I want to know your

friends. I want to know... You wouldn't like my friends.

Why don't we just sleep together every night?

That's what we will be doing. Why wouldn't I like your friends? I don't

why. You just wouldn't. Hey, Isabel.

Isabel. That is a cop -out.

Well, what's wrong with a good cop -out?

I mean, besides, where would we...

Well, I know a great little place in Sausalito with a de Kooning on the wall.

Here? Thank you.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, that's out of the question. That is

absolutely out of the question. I have to have my head examined. I know a good

therapist for that.

Robert, it's inconvenient.

Is it?

Yeah. It's scandalous.

It's utterly horrible.

It's utter complete...

An utter folly.

Don't give up your apartment.

Bye.

No.

Mr.

Rosen, we could only delay discovery for so long. Conan Williams would have

gotten a court order.

Those job files are going to kill us now.

World's negligence assures them standing.

I have no co -defendants, no grounds for comparative negligence. It stinks.

Carolyn, file under L for lost case.

Yes, sir. And don't forget your haircut in 15 minutes. Sour. Believe me, we're

breaking our backs on this. Right, I believe you.

Meeting's adjourned.

Uh, Robert, you stay for a minute. Mr. Strickland, I think... Are you, um,

interested in my lifestyle preferences as a guard junior partners?

Sir? One, top of the list.

Married with kids.

Two, married without kids.

Three, normal bachelor, under 30.

Four, living with someone your own age with intent to marry.

Five, bottom of the list, not well thought of by me at all.

Living with anybody I don't consider a good influence. That includes anyone of

different race, same sex, or anyone older enough to have voted when you were

grade school.

Gee, I'd really be in trouble if I were living in sin with Count Basie.

Don't be flippin' with me.

I think what we offer a guy like you outweighs what we ask. What do you

I think I'll have to think about what I think.

Cute. Think about moving up on my list.

Yes, sir.

Consider this, Robert.

Isabel Ross was a sophomore in high school when you were falling off your

tricycle.

I'm so late.

Strickland called Fielding's lawyers and offered to settle out of court for the

insurance policy limit. They said no, of course. Those guys can smell fear like

a couple of Dobermans.

Now, that means that we are going to have to go to court. I just don't know

the hell to do with this case.

Oh, God.

Are you all right? What's wrong?

I just got a phone call.

Did somebody die?

No.

Then what's the matter?

Debbie. Your daughter, something happen to her?

She's coming down from Oregon on Saturday.

Why is that so terrible?

Because she just won't understand.

Understand what?

You. Me?

Yeah.

Gordon's sister is staying in my apartment. I can't... Oh, Isabel, relax.

Listen, I'll play catch with her or take her to a Saturday matinee.

Okay, okay.

Okay, we're going to figure this out.

We're going to figure this out.

Now, when she gets here, when she gets here, you can be wearing one of your

lawyer suits and I'll introduce you as my lawyer.

Is she spending the night?

Yes. Well, when I take off one of my lawyer's suits and get into bed with you

one of my lawyer's pajamas, won't she suspect something?

Don't make me laugh. You've got to be my pal. You've got to help me out, please.

I'll do it.

I'll do it. You'll do it? Whatever you want.

Oh, you are my pal.

Here, you have some ice cream, honey.

Mmm.

Okay, sit down. Why don't you just sit down here?

It's a great dinner.

Oh.

When's Debbie coming?

Saturday.

The greatest thing in the world today is friendship.

You're right, Jack, friendship.

Take up the shot clip?

Yeah, I practice late at night. I hope I won't keep you awake.

Uh, Debbie?

What was that for?

Get ready for a shock.

The house has been rented to boat people.

What?

I'm living with a man.

Yeah?

Yeah, and he's much, much younger than I am.

Okay.

Mom, I think I'm over the shock now. Can we go inside?

Sure.

Oh, yeah.

Ah, Isabel.

Can this be your little girl?

Yes.

Robert, this is Debbie.

And, Debbie, this is... Robert Christenberry. I'm your mother's

We were just going over her will.

Do I inherit the silver?

Robert, I... I love your Snoopy, Mom.

Oh, the Snoopy. Well, actually, it's just a little present I picked up for

Isabel's little teeny -weeny little daughter.

Could somebody enlighten me here? Is this your lawyer or the guy you're

with? You already told her.

Don't sweat it. You make a terrific lawyer.

I am a lawyer.

Good casting, then.

Robert, thank you for this. I love it. I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh, honey.

I'm sorry that you made such a mess out of yourself. Never mind that. How old is

that human being?

Twenty -four.

Twenty -what?

Well, now you know why I was so upset.

If you're 37, either you had her when you were 13. Or maybe she was premature.

Would you buy that?

Isabel, you were 37.

No. Who told you I was 37?

You didn't deny it. Well, why should I? I liked being 37.

Isabel, how old are you?

43.

43? 43. 43?

Yes.

You know?

When you think about it, if you're going to have an affair with an older woman,

it really isn't worth a damn unless she's really an older woman.

No, just think.

When I'm 51, I can start living off your Social Security.

Is that why you won't tell me that you love me?

Partly.

Oh, come here.

Please, not in front of the KID.

Do you have any more?

Grandchildren or...

Gee,

we should get the chef out here. You'd make his day.

Sure beats prison food.

You've been in prison?

No. Ex -prison food for myself.

What do you do, anyway?

Mom's a little secretive about me, huh?

Hey, you won't get all self -conscious if I call her Mom, will you?

Abby, that is one.

Should I try and call you Dad?

That's two.

On three, she shoots me.

I'm a painter.

Oh? An art major?

No, not an art major.

A painter.

Are you good?

Oh, shouldn't I be?

Ow! Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Sure. What's helmet between mother and daughter?

Yeah,

I think I'm going to get some more salad.

Excuse me.

Okay, let's have it.

Let's have what?

What are your intentions here, champ?

Well, let's see. I was planning to take you to a Saturday matinee till I found

out you were a 40 -year -old stand -up comedian.

We're talking about my mother.

How serious are you about her?

Well, right offhand, Groucho, I don't think it's any of your business.

But if it'll put your mind at ease, I happen to be in love with her.

Your kid has been grilling me. What? Like a prospective father -in -law.

Well, does Robert have your permission to take me to the sock hop?

Well, he's a little uptight, a little square, a little too sure of his sex

appeal, but other than that, he's cute.

Well, thanks a bunch.

Isabel. Isabel.

Where have you been?

Absolutely fantastic.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, let's see.

Introductions.

This is her daughter, Debbie.

You are handling this beautifully, Mom.

And this is... Robert Christenberry. How are you? How are you, Robert?

These are Joan and Chuck.

Don't tell.

Joan Sutherland and Chuck Connors.

Shut up, please.

This is Joan and Chuck Deardorff. All right.

Got you all shook up, didn't we? Oh, this is fake Isabel, I swear to God.

throwing a party tonight.

All the old crowd will be there. They'd just pass out if you came.

Come on, you've got it. Really, I couldn't possibly.

I'd love to, but my daughter, Debbie.

is staying with me, so I... Oh, we wouldn't leave Debbie out.

No way. You two kids are definitely included.

We accept.

Great. Great. Robert.

7 .30?

7 .30, sure.

showing up with my boyfriend?

It'll be fun, Mom. Trust us.

Now you know why I'm such a pain in

the neck. I have the world's most popular mother. Come on. I want to

you kids to everyone.

Everybody, this is Debbie.

Hi. And this handsome young man is Debbie's friend.

Hello.

Excuse me.

Hold it.

He might as well get this over with.

This is Robert Christenberry.

And he's my friend.

How are you?

Jealous. Me too.

And how are you? Better.

He's gorgeous.

Where'd you meet him?

He's my boss.

Really? Mm -hmm.

It must be wonderful to make love to a man without any fat on him. And a full

head of hair.

So you were for old John Strickland? Uh -huh. Isn't his duck decoy collection a

real beauty?

Well, actually, I've never seen his duck decoy collection.

Oh? He's got them all over the house.

I'll get a refill.

Old John has never invited me over to the house. I'm just a junior partner.

Oh, yeah, sure. I guess you would be. What are you drinking, Bobby? Just white

wine. Wine?

Get this man a real drink. No, the wine's fine.

So tell me, how are you doing? Great.

You come with me. I want to show you something.

We'll be right back, Chuck. Okay. I'm surprised I like your friend.

Isabel Perry, Isabel Ross?

Isn't she a marvelous painter?

She certainly is.

I just didn't tell you, that's all.

There are a lot of things about me I haven't told you.

It wouldn't matter if it were junk, but that painting is good. Good, it's great.

You stay out of this. Why are you being so evasive about it?

Painting is just something that I did once, and I don't do it anymore.

Why not? Robert, the subject is now closed.

Where did you find that?

I found it at an art gallery. The woman there said your paintings used to

sell... If you don't take it down, I will.

I thought you'd be thrilled. I like it. Then hang it in your own place.

I'd forgotten what a trivial painting it was.

It's not trivial.

I mean, granted, it's not the Last Supper. Robert, just take it down.

All right, I'll take it to my place tomorrow.

Good.

Boy, I wish I could understand this.

Just write it off to Growing Pains, okay?

Well, when you finish Growing, then will you tell me what the matter is?

Sure.

Send a set of interrogatories to Bailey Cranes. Find out if there have been any

product liability suits against them. Isabel?

You can start looking up any personal injury suits where they've been a

defendant. I wish I understood why.

We're looking for co -defendants now. It's the last resort of a ruthless

team. If we get lucky, and if there are other malfunctions of one of their

cranes, we might make them share in the damages.

That crane didn't malfunction. The operator was drunk.

Well, at least Cohen and Williams haven't got the daily job files yet, so

don't know that.

He said meaningfully.

Well, I'll get right to work.

Chip, what are you thinking about?

Don't look at me. I'm just an associate.

Robert?

Could I ask you a question?

Robert?

Yeah. I need your undivided.

Why are you a lawyer?

Because I like being a lawyer. Why?

What do you like about it?

It's interesting. It's challenging.

If you're better than the other guy, you win. It's also very profitable. Why are

you asking me all these questions?

Well, because I was thinking about Mr. Fielding and the way you and Chip are

going about this case.

And I wanted to tell you that you need to have compassion. What are you talking

about? I have compassion.

I knew that you would say that you had compassion.

So I found this great word in my trusty thesaurus. What is it?

Ruth. Ruth? Mm -hmm.

Ruth.

It means...

Tenderness and pity.

But what's really great about it is that it's the basis for a word that you use

about yourself all the time.

To be without Ruth is ruthless.

Huh.

It seems to me that you practice law the way you used to go to bed with women.

All you care about is the results and how good you are.

But I know...

That you have Ruth in you, or you couldn't make love to me the way you do.

You want me to make love to Fialine?

I doubt that he's your type.

Then get Ruth in here.

You know what people do?

What?

They make jokes when they don't want to face the truth.

Your full name for the record, please.

Daniel Burroughs Fielding.

Burroughs is a family name, Mr. Fielding?

Oh, what's that?

You try to make me think you're a friendly, chatty fellow before moving in

the kill?

Robert, excuse us.

We'll be trying to be a little more civil. No, we won't be.

Yes, sweetheart.

Mr. Cohen and Mr. Williams just reminded me that nobody likes a nasty cripple.

Next question.

What is your occupation, Mr. Fielding? Watching soap operas. Stan, please. I'm

unemployed!

Would you... Would you recount for us to the best of your recollection the

events of June 12, 1977 that are the basis of this suit?

Why not?

I know it by heart.

I was walking west on California Street between Stockton and Grant on the south

side of the street. I observed a block -long construction site on my right. The

sidewalk was protected by wooden scaffolding, and about halfway down the

my world caved in. I was conscious of a half -second of splintering wood and a

great weight.

And then...

You know what?

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together

again.

You can put down that the witness fulminated with bitter irony.

How long were you in the hospital, Mr. Peely?

Nine months. It was nothing in and out.

What was your occupation prior to the accident?

I built swimming pools.

And you were invited to return to your place of employment subsequently

from the hospital, were you not?

Sonny boy, I built swimming pools. I mean, I got out into the fresh air and I

built them. I can't do that anymore.

The company offered me a job of shuffling invoices, but I'm not an

worker. I never was, and I never will be.

You turned down that job, is that correct?

Yeah.

Yeah. I turned it down.

Well, then you have to agree, would you not, that it wasn't your injury that

diminished your livelihood, but your own refusal to work.

My refusal to work?

My refusal to work? You see, you old bloody little...

This isn't accomplishing anything. Now stop it.

I'm sorry.

Is he all right?

Robert, can we take ten minutes?

Sure. Hey, take as long as you like.

Jailbait's home.

What brings you here, your rat dog?

Gee, lawyers are fast on their feet.

Hi.

Oh.

Hi, Deb. Hi.

I'm in town for a couple weeks in case you guys feel like feeding me. Great.

then I'm off to Paris for my expatriate artist trip.

You know, commuting with the ghost of Gertrude Stein.

A rose is a rose is something.

Well, I'm going to go unpack.

Debbie, hello, goodbye.

She's going to Paris, huh?

That's right.

To paint, that's a big step, isn't it?

That's right.

What, are you upset that she's leaving?

Oh, Robert, buzz off.

Hi, hi.

Later.

Follow me.

Where to? Don't ask questions.

All right, now close your eyes. What are you doing? In here, in here. Just close

your eyes. I got my eyes closed. All right, no peeking. No peeking. You

Yeah. Open.

I went out and got them this morning.

If you don't like the pigments, you can return them. Robert, who gave you the

right to do this? Robert, how dare you tell me what to do?

Isabel, look.

I just wish I could figure you people out.

What people?

Women. Oh, don't lump me with other women.

Come on, Isabel. Hey, Isabel, listen to me. Would you listen to me?

I feel you slipping away from me. A little while ago, I had you. I knew you,

now... Robert, just go away. Look at me. Will you look at me? You came into my

life. You changed me. I love you. What do you want me to do? Just tell me what

to do. You can stop dragging my paintings in here. You can stop buying

and you can stop being childish. Childish?

You think that was childish?

Want to become childish?

I'll become something childish.

Robert!

Robert!

what the matter is.

I'm just a terrible coward.

Why? For God's sake.

Why do you think that I took that job with your law firm?

Because it was easy.

Robert, I tried so hard to be a perfect wife and a perfect mother.

Now I'm 43 years old.

I want to start a new life.

But how can I try something new and challenging when I can't even have an

without messing it up?

I am terrified.

I am so scared that, honest to God, at night my teeth chatter.

I never knew you were scared.

What do you know about that?

You'll have to see.

I'm sorry. I just always thought that between the two of us, you were the

-up. And now it turns out I am.

Yeah.

My hero.

Now will you tell me why you won't paint? I think you're wonderful.

Milo. Blockhead.

I taught modern art at Bowdoin College when we met.

And he was very superior about my painting.

And so I worked.

And I worked to try to get better just so maybe someday I could please him.

And, uh...

And then when I started to sell, he just went on the attack.

And he would tell me, stroke by stroke,

why my painting was amateurish and trivial and

clichéd.

So he convinced me that I was worthless, and I stopped.

And it follows, doesn't it, that if you're worthless at one thing, you're

worthless at everything.

I mean, just look at me. I'm a mess.

Mrs. Bell, it's suddenly clear to me what's happening here.

I mean, it's so symmetrical. I can't believe it. It's perfect.

What are you talking about?

Milo, the blockhead, he took your painting away from you. And here I am.

giving it back to you. Don't you see? It's perfect.

You didn't hear a word I said.

I can't paint.

You think we're talking about somebody who's a free spirit? Well,

she danced in the plaza the first time I met her.

No, that's a nervous person, not a free spirit. I'm a free spirit. Okay,

whatever she is, I love her.

What does she want?

You still haven't figured that out? No, I haven't even come close.

She wants to go to Paris with me.

She won't admit it because she's scared out of her mind, but that's what she

wants.

She wants to go to Paris for what?

To paint.

She doesn't want to paint.

How do you get your shoes tied in the morning? Yes, she wants to paint. What

can't do is paint here.

Why not?

She still has a lot of bad memories left over from my father.

He was very cruel to her about her work.

He's not a bad person.

As it happens, I love him a lot. He just... He couldn't handle her being

at something he was mediocre at.

Yeah, but... You know, it isn't fair.

Debbie, I want to give her painting back to her.

Robert, you can't give her back her painting. It's not yours to give.

Don't you understand what you've done for her?

What?

I loved her, you fool. You turned her back into a whole person.

I did.

Almost a whole person.

It's me who's going to give her back her painting.

I'll go to Paris with her. I can be just as much of a free spirit as you can.

Free spirit?

Robert, you're one of those people who works.

I mean, can you really picture yourself sitting around some scrunchie cafe in

Paris all day while my mother paints?

I could practice law.

Oh.

How's your French?

I don't speak it.

Great idea, then.

Robert, you can't have everything you want in this world.

You can't be a good -for -nothing expatriate.

And I can't be my mother.

Uh,

here.

I wrote the flight number to you.

It's on Thursday.

She has a valid passport.

You're really a good guy, Robert.

Be very careful going home. The people in this neighborhood trap Preppy.

It's going to get better. Excuse me. What are you doing?

No problem.

I've been looking forward to this all day.

You're great.

Oh, that feels so good.

Can I wash your back?

My back is washed.

Isabel? What?

Isabel, will you marry me?

I'll hang out a sign that says noble clients only and we'll live happily ever

after. I'll even learn how to jitterbug.

If it's our ages. Our ages stopped mattering a long time ago.

Robert.

I can't marry you.

Because there are two things that I can't give you. And eventually you'd

forgiving me for that.

Tell me.

One is children.

You need a little boy named Jake to play catch with and ask you silly questions.

Well, rent me a kid named Jake. What's the other thing you think you can't give

me?

Me.

The complete me. The contented wife me.

I thought you were going to say you wouldn't marry me because you don't love

Oh, Robert.

Love you.

Is that the closest I'll ever get to hearing you say you do love me?

Because you never, ever said it.

Well then, Merry Christmas.

Christmas was a month ago. Just take this.

You and Debbie conspired. Well, I wanted to come too, but Debbie said anybody

who's as straight as I am and can't practice law in French should never be a

kept man.

Something along those lines.

Do you know how presumptuous this is of you?

Oh, Isabel.

You taught me so much about everything I can't begin to tell you.

You taught me how to be a man.

You already were a man.

You just didn't know it.

I've been a foreman eight and a half years in pickle construction.

We've knocked down between 20, 30 buildings of a similar size to the hotel

were knocking down the day they accident.

And was the crane and wrecking ball used in some of those?

Most of them.

You consider it a safe procedure?

Very much so.

Of course, there's always a danger of flying debris.

Such as a two -ton wrecking ball.

That sheltered walkway was built to code. Naturally, it's not going to

a two -ton wrecking ball because we never anticipated an accident like that

could actually happen.

But one did, didn't it?

Yes, sir.

What can you tell us about John Davenport, the man that you testified

operating the crane on the day of the accident?

Here it comes.

I met John eight years ago, approximately, when he reported from the

I found him to be an excellent man.

Do you consider him reliable?

Yes, sir.

One hundred percent.

Thank you.

Now, I realize we're going to get testimony on this from expert witnesses,

can you tell us just how a wrecking ball works?

Could we have a ten -minute recess, please?

Come here.

Why didn't they ask any questions about John Davenport's drinking?

Well, you noticed.

What'd you do with the reports?

You mean the ones at home, my sock drawer? You stole them? What are you so

uptight about?

I was told I was sitting at the feet of the master on this case. I might have

saved us a million dollars in punitive damages here.

What happened?

Robert!

When did you get religion?

You're making a serious charge against a colleague, Robert. Yes, sir.

You know what your problem is, kid? He does not do things that are unethical or

illegal. I'm telling you, he got religion. Max, please.

All right, Robert.

You suggest what I do.

Admit that I've got an overzealous associate on my hands, throw the kid to

wolves, he'd probably be disbarred.

Or is that okay with you?

No, of course not.

Why? I'd say that makes me out to be a hypocrite, wouldn't you?

Are there skeletons in your closet, too?

You know there are.

I know nothing of the kind. I'm shocked.

Oh, come on, Senator. Being ruthless is prized in this firm, and you know it. I

don't want to hear any holier than that from you.

Why not, Robert? You came in here holier than your colleague, didn't you?

I suppose I did.

Then I want to hear a solid recommendation.

What do I do?

Six months ago, the only thing that I'd be upset about was that I didn't think

of pulling those records myself.

Look, Senator, I don't want to tangle with you. I'm not that good. I just, I'd

like, I want to do my job as honestly as I can from now on.

I'm touched.

What do I do about Chip?

He's just as much a product of this firm as I am, so fire him, but fire me too.

and fire Rosen in a villain words than everybody else, then fire yourself.

Look, Senator, I don't want to hurt the firm, but you want a recommendation?

I'll do better. I'll tell you what I'm going to do when I walk out that door.

I'm going to let the plaintiff discover what got withheld. I'll make Riggs

reveal it in deposition, and we will come across with those reports when they

ask for them. You submit your resignation, kid. I want it on my desk

morning. No, Mr. Rosen, I don't think I'm going to do that. I'm going to stay

here. Selling clients down the river?

No, sir.

Doing what's right.

Good day, Senator.

One rotten apple.

Ma 'am, Max.

One thing I learned in politics.

You've got to be as honest as the day is long.

Since it looks like you might get caught.

Give her a light.

As long as I have your attention, Senator.

First, my private life is my own business.

Second, I want the same $60 ,000 you pay to the married partners. Third, I want

to be invited to your barbecues. It's embarrassing to me socially that I've

never seen your damn duck decoy collection.

Is everything all right, Robert?

Just fine, Ruth.

You spoiled me, you know.

How can I ever love another woman?

All those nymphettes out there, just waiting for you to teach them.

Corners of the mouth.

Let them wallow in ignorance.

It'll be two months.

Oh, two months? Never. I'm going to become a mother.

The final call, flight 890, now leaving for Paris.

Robert, will you hurry up and kiss her goodbye? We're going to miss the plane.

Almost forgot.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Croatian blue.

Paint me a sky, okay?

all except for my bike.

Well, grab it, because we've got plenty of room.

Tell you what, Gordon, I think I sort of feel like riding it into town.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks for your help. Sure. Look, I'll see you in about an hour. Right. All

right.

You know, as whimsical as this stuff is, he's a very serious guy.

Yeah, right.

Did you ever see his eraser?

Come on.

I'm an art major.

What an incredible coincidence.

My godfather is Willem de Kooning.

Denise, I'll call you later.

Right.

I'm sorry. Don't feel bad. The man's a master.

So, uh, do you have a car here, or can I give you a lift to my house?

Leaving already?

Yeah. I know it's a poignant moment for you.

What are you so upset about?

You seemed to enjoy yourself pretty thoroughly last night.

Oh, the sex was all right.

Your warmth as a human being needs a little work.

What did I say?

Well, I think the romantic high point for me was when you said, you can spend

the night as long as you don't make noises in your sleep.

Don't get up. I hate sentimental farewells.

It's the goal of the day.

Someone wait for me.

Good morning, James. Good morning, Susie. Good morning, Dave. Good morning,

Freda. Thanks.

Oh, here are your transcripts. Oh, and here's a little goodie for your boss.

White shoulders.

Why doesn't the man get his love letters at home?

I have to carry them up here.

Everybody thinks it's me wearing white shoulders.

No comment, James.

Me? I mean, it's really embarrassing.

I mean, I'm a sexy guy.

Sorry, Skip. A $15 ,000 settlement's all I can offer.

Come on. She was a guest, not a business invitee.

Uh -huh. Yeah, well, I'd love to hear you tell a jury that your client didn't

know the difference between a dumb waiter or a bathroom. What was he doing,

sniffing glue?

Well, just let me know tonight.

Okay.

Court.

We talked about art.

Yeah, all right.

See you later. When does the senator want to see me?

Now.

Yes, sir.

Carl Avila said that you were pretty sneaky on that P .I. case.

Said he couldn't have bluffed a better settlement himself.

Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.

You know, Ron, I always throw a barbecue on my birthday for the partners.

Your wife's a week from Saturday. You going to make it this year?

Same old problem, sir. I'm not one of the partners with a wife.

Excuse me, sir. Do you have any flowers in blue?

How about this? One of those. Just one. How about a buck, okay?

There you go. Thank you, sir.

You can't be testy with your new boss not after he gives you a flower in your

favorite color.

Come on, just forget I asked you out, okay? Friends?

Yes, friends.

Okay, what about my blue head?

Okay, thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. And now, here's one everybody

knows. One, two, a one, two, three, four.

Any lady with a flower must know how to get...

I think we should get back to the office.

Yeah, I love the new briefcase. I knew you would.

That's not your new investigator.

Uh -huh.

Wow.

Mine always looked like Walter Cronkite's.

Do something, Gordon.

I could really like this.

Wait a minute.

Well, then why is the party of the first part over there boogieing while the

party of the second part is standing here looking embarrassed?

She's a free spirit.

Let me tell you something, Bobby, from an old friend.

You're in way over your head.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Hi, Isabel.

Any messages?

Oh, yes. These are yours right here. Oh, thank you.

Another long day?

A long three weeks. I have learned more about sewing machines than I ever wanted

to know. I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, bye -bye.

Well, I'm going to try it, okay? You can't dribble with this thing. I'm not

dribbling. Just shoot.

Okay, what do we got? It's 16, 16, 18. 16, 18, right.

A lot of pressure. Okay, okay. It's a hush in the stadium. He shoots, and oh!

Hey,

guess what? What? On deposition that Mrs. Padakis threw away her directions

the sewing machine.

Well, anyone that stupid deserves to lose a piece of their thumb. Oh, you're

harsh. Yeah. What did you come up with?

Well, the man who sold her the machine told her that she should buy a simpler

model if she'd never used one before, or at least take some free lessons. So

they offered, but she declined.

Senator, I have Mr. Peel on line one for you.

Right.

You're no kid.

You're pushing 30.

Nobody trusts an old bachelor.

I'll keep that in mind.

Now get out of here. Yes, sir.

I don't pay you 60 grand a year to stand around and light these things for me.

Senator, you don't pay me 60 grand a year. That's what you pay the married

You should go to the ACLU, Robert.

That's discriminatory.

Strickland.

Nobody trusts you now, Bobby. Imagine what you'll be like when you're 50.

Where do you want to eat? I don't care.

You like Hungarian?

You want to go there? Yeah.

Oh, look at that.

Pardon me. You don't know me, but I need a wife so I can go to the company

barbecue. Are you free?

Well, when's the barbecue?

A week from Saturday.

Oh, that's rotten luck. My senior prom's a week from Saturday. Oh, darn. Well,

listen, if you won't marry me, how about letting me bite you behind the knee?

Would that be okay with you, or would that ruin your day?

Oh, no, that would be fine. It really would.

But my boyfriend's a longshoreman, and if he saw the teeth marks, he'd hunt you

down and rip out your heart with his bare hands.

Let's get something to eat. Come on.

Hello, ladies.

How are you this evening?

Good evening.

This is interesting. I know. Hold me back. Hold me back. I can't stop myself.

You're kind of subdued tonight.

Hey, Gord. Well.

Have you ever had a real conversation with any of these girls?

Yeah, once.

I said, pardon me, have you ever read The World According to Garth?

And this chick said, well, I know, you know, geography's a real downer.

I never tried that again.

I can see why.

It's just that everybody's in it for their own gratification. Even that isn't

any fun half the time.

You've got to try and think more about the other half, I think.

Do you know how long it's been since I've laughed with a girl?

What's the laugh of a girl, dummy?

Why isn't there anybody you can like?

You really are depressed.

And the sad fact is, if you did meet somebody like that, how would you even

it? Yeah. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to hit on one of these

real unlikable creatures and get some gratification before I get as bummed out

as you are.

See you tomorrow.

Forty pages of interrogatories on a case like this.

What's the plaintiff wants to know if there have been any other personal

suits involving the R -1088 compact sewing machine?

Respond that their question is vague, ambiguous, and unintelligible. Yeah,

ought to hold things up for another month. Beautiful. It's perfect.

Your new investigator's here.

Fine. Get him settled in his office. I'll be with him in a couple of minutes,

Freda. I gotta go anyway, Bobby.

Old man Wurtz is buying me lunch today. We'll try to keep him down to two Bloody

Marys. The man's got a deposition this afternoon.

I'll do what I can. I'll see you in a couple hours. Right.

She's in her closet. I heard her gasping for air.

Somebody knew.

That's what I got in mind to do.

Taking a chance.

No one there.

People pray to care.

People's threads of hate begin.

Not good.

Bob,

you want a real challenge? Always go ahead and speak to me. Speak to me.

You see that lovely young thing over there sitting next to the comatose

You mean the brunette?

Yeah, this is a real challenge. Let me give you a little background

all right? A, she's very interested in art, and B, she will never leave her

blonde friend ever.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'll see what I can do. With any luck, I won't be back.

All right, go get him.

Believe me, this will never happen.

I'm

not

too crazy about being stared at. Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

It's just that you could have been painted by Madigliani.

That probably doesn't mean anything to you.

No. Hey, that's okay.

Thanks. Listen, I realize this is such a cliche, but I have to know, what is

your sign?

I'm a Leo.

Gauguin was a Leo.

So was Matisse.

And my friend, Klaus Oldenburg.

Klaus Oldenburg is your friend? Yeah, we celebrated his birthday last week.

Oh, wow.

Who? Your new investigator.

I thought you said he before.

No, I didn't.

You did.

We thought maybe you'd suffocate it in here.

Oh, no.

I don't mind the close quarters as long as I can have visiting privileges.

Hello.

Well, hi.

Are you my new boss, or are you just here to bite me?

No, I... Longshoremen scare me.

Listen, I'm sorry about that.

Oh, no, don't be sorry.

It was a...

Nice little moment of triumph for me.

I'm Isabel Ross.

Robert Christenberry?

Firm handshake.

Yes, I have firm hands.

Yes. Well, since it's your first day on the job, Ms. Ross, why don't I treat you

to lunch?

Watch him. He will bite.

It's okay. I bite back.

Anyway, after law school, I hooked on to Senator Strickland's last campaign.

When he lost the election, he asked me to join the firm.

Aren't you really young to be a junior partner?

I am the youngest in the history of the law firm, but I cheated. I'm a terrific

lawyer.

O 'Neill, your specialty?

Let me ask you. Do you like working for a firm that defends insurance companies

and corporations?

Sure. Why, don't you think big companies are entitled to due process?

I don't know. I guess if I were a lawyer, I'd want to go out and defend

and Vendetti. Oh, go for causes, huh?

Yeah. I think it was the way I was raised.

My father went to Spain with the Lincoln Brigade in 1937.

And I was raised to believe that Eleanor Roosevelt was a saint. Oh, well, your

folks and my folks would get along great.

My father thinks Jane Fonda is the Antichrist.

You know all about me. What about you?

Well, there's not much to tell.

Oh, your father went to Spain and now here you are, huh?

About it.

Look, it's okay. It's not a quiz. If you want to be a mystery lady, that's fine

with me. I'm not trying to be a mystery lady. I just don't want to talk about

myself. Well, you don't have to get defensive.

I'm very sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Well, let's see. I was born in Chicago.

I was raised in Maine.

Then I got married and I moved to San Francisco.

My divorce attorney...

He's a friend of John Strickland. Is that a fact? Yeah. They got together and

found me this job.

Oh, let's see. What else?

Oh, favorite color is Parisian blue. Parisian blue. Great color.

Favorite movie star is Jean -Paul Belmondo. Great actor.

And my favorite food is boiled king crab legs. Great legs. That's what you can

order when I take you out to dinner.

Are you asking me for a date? Oh, I most certainly am.

I see.

Well...

Thank you, but no thank you. No thank you. Why?

Well, for any number of reasons.

One, we barely know each other.

Two, you're my boss.

Three, you are much too good looking and self -confident.

And the reasons that you wouldn't want to get mixed up with me would fill a

book. Oh, really? Yeah.

And what's the matter?

Nothing.

All I did was ask you out to dinner. I actually thought I was pretty cute about

it. Come on, why are you so upset?

I'm not.