Original subtitles

Greetings.

Greetings.

You can park around by the garage.

- Okay, thanks a lot. - Welcome brother.

Have any of you seen this girl?

Her name is Lindsey. She's my daughter.

Cyndi! Cyndi! Cyndi! Cyndi!

Excuse me. Excuse me, I'm looking for my daughter.

She's 19. I'm very worried about her.

Flower?

Take it.

Thank God. An actual grownup.

Everyone here is on drugs or something.

Please, can you help me?

My daughter came here five days ago.

I haven't seen or heard from her since.

That's not like her.

I'm so scared something's happened to her.

What is wrong with all you people?

Mom, I'm over here.

Lindsey.

I was so worried about you.

Hello, Mother. I'm so happy you've come.

You're going to love it here.

- I'm not staying, Lindsey. - You have to.

You'll miss her if you leave. She's about to come out.

You're not staying either. We're going home right now.

No, mother. Cyndi needs me. I have to be here for her.

What have these people done to you?

They've given me purpose, love.

I'm getting you out of here right now.

You are coming with me.

It's her. Mother, it's her.

Cyndi! Cyndi!

Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

We really need to find wider doors.

Why would the Clippings Book send us to investigate a cult?

- I'm guessing magical cult. - There's no ley lines near by.

But there does seem to be trace levels of magic everywhere.

The Clippings Book said that some world-renowned chef

gifted his mansion to someone cult leader only known as "Cyndi."

This doesn't sound like our kind of investigation.

Not necessarily.

Followers going to a mansion but they don't come out.

That could be paranormal activity.

- What do we know about this Cyndi? - Not much.

I read about her in the "National Inquisitor" online.

It's really mysterious.

She only goes by her first name,

there are no known photos of her

and all kinds of people follow her,

young, old, celebrities.

- You read the "Inquisitor"? - Every day.

Library has the complete collection of lost classics of all human civilization.

Panoply of literature and you read the "Inquisitor."

- What's a panoply? - You know what a panoply is.

- Librarians, focus, focus. - Quite right.

There's no time to be lost.

Why is there no time to be lost?

'Cause there never is.

Sorry you missed orientation.

No new applicants until tomorrow.

- Ah. - Be back at 9:00 AM sharp.

I'm afraid that you don't understand.

You see, we're the Librarians.

What didn't you say so?

Please come join us.

I don't want this. Hey.

That's it? Why does that always work for you?

It's all in how you say it.

What the hell does that mean?

You know, incantation.

It's a diffusion spell.

Magic? You said we don't use magic.

Yeah, well, it's like a little white magic.

Excuse me, Miss.

Could you just take a selfie of me

with Cyndiland in the background?

It's not a selfie when somebody else takes it.

I love Cyndi. I am her biggest fan.

I'm her number one fan. #TeamCyndi.

For the feels!

Take my selfie.

Still not a selfie.

Cyndi, be praised.

It's almost time. I hope I get picked. I hope I get picked.

Picked for what?

Oh, every day Cyndi allows a few of her followers

to be in the house with her

for the crew challenge.

Winners are picked to live with her

and work on her staff.

Oh, Cyndi. Cyndi, pick me.

Cyndi, Cyndi!

Cyndi! Cyndi!

Quiet. Jeez.

I was sleeping, for criminy sake.

And now I got a headache, thank you.

But it's time to choose your houseguests.

Already? Okay.

Um, make room. I'll walk around and pick.

You.

Okay, so if the Clippings Book sent us,

that means we have to find an artifact.

Chances are it's inside that mansion.

One of us has to figure out how to get in there.

Problem solved.

You are the most enchanting woman I've ever seen.

You're like La Grande Odalisque.

- A what? - I don't know.

I'm gonna like you. You got good words.

What the hell just happened to Flynn?

He was bluffing right, that was a bluff?

Of course that was a bluff.

There's something about that Cyndi.

I know her from somewhere.

Sorry, crew selection is over for the day.

Yes, but there's been a mistake.

If we could just grab our friend.

No one is allowed in without Cyndi's approval.

I suggest you join the others at the worship statue.

It's 12:00.

Time for the noonday worship.

Okay, so we've lost Flynn

and we're surrounded by a bunch of cultist whack jobs.

- Thoughts? - Hmm-mm. It's not a cult.

Cults have beliefs like the ancient cult of Dionysus, all right?

They worshiped fertility, they worshiped art.

These guys have no beliefs, they have no code.

They just have a fixation on this Cyndi.

I know I know her from somewhere.

She must be working some sort of magical artifact

anyone exposed to it falls into a stupefied adoration.

I'm not stupefied. Anyone else here stupefied?

If it's a charm, it's something they're exposed to.

But not us, not yet.

What about the worship statue?

Could be the focus of her powers.

Symbolic magic. Imagery of the idol

causes veneration of the person depicted.

Sounds like our artifact.

Okay, Ezekiel, Stone, you go check out the statue.

You and I will go find Flynn.

I'm just so excited to be here.

Everyone is so nice and great.

I think I'm making a really good impression.

The others, they really seem to like me.

It's like for the first time I have real friends.

They just... it feels so good, you know?

- Are you allergic to pollen? - What? Nope.

I have an idea.

Put them over there.

Bless me, Cyndi for I have Cyndied... Cyndied.

I have many things to confess.

I confess, Cyndi, that I love you

- and I confess that I'm unworthy of your attentions. - Flynn?

Cyndi, I promised to love...

He's inside there in the video.

What the hell is this thing?

I confess that I'm unworthy of your attentions...

Some kind of confessional booth.

A little truth for your booth?

Here it goes. You're the most remarkable woman

I've ever met in my life, okay?

All other women are as naught

to your celestial, transcended magnificence.

Excuse me, can I go next? I'd like to profess my love for Cyndi.

- One at a time. - I have to go right now,

but I have been given the honor of exfoliating your feet,

so I will see you and serve you soon, my queen.

You may enter. Our glorious Cyndi awaits your adoration.

Agnes.

I'm working as hard as I can.

Work flipping harder.

I need more and you promised me.

Do you have the...

Now get back to it, Ms. Slow-Pokey.

Now look what you did. You're making me curse.

C-Y-N-D-I.

If the statue's a magical artifact,

the readings should get stronger as we get closer.

For you, we would die.

- This could get irritating. - Could get irritating?

For you, we would die.

All right, you have to have a talisman

to focus emotional energies.

It's driving me crazy. I know I know that face.

Let's see that. It's getting nothing.

The statue is tacky,

but it's definitely not magical.

What's going on over there?

What's Cyndi doing in a military truck?

Hey...

- Go. - Relax.

- What the hell, man? - DOSA works for Cyndi now?

I'm just so excited to be here.

Everyone's so nice...

...and great.

- What now? - Excuse me, Miss Cyndi,

I need to know if you have another vial ready.

I am working on it, and this would be a lot easier

without this cocky doody interruptions.

I think I'm making a really good impression.

The others they really seem to like me.

It's like, for the first time I have real friends.

It's just... I feel so good, you know.

Never again.

Never again.

I told you...

Two male intruders broke into the barn.

They broke into the barn?

That is a double no-no.

Bring them to me.

- Flynn! Flynn! - Flynn! Flynn!

I thought he wasn't gonna take off on his own anymore.

He's always been wily.

Mon Dieu, I have lost my soul.

My every desire.

I have nothing left. Nothing.

Oh my gosh, are you... Oh my gosh, you are.

Chef Pierre, two Michelin Star chef.

Molecular gastronomy expert,

you vaporized marshmallows.

He's basically a food physicist.

That explains Frankenstein's lab.

Are you the owner of the house?

No, Mademoiselle Cyndi is the owner of this house.

I gave it to her as a sign of my complete and utter devotion.

I want nothing more for her

than to delight her palate.

But now, she says she's tired

of my foie gras spheres,

my prawns with Kataifi foam.

And says she wants this.

- Mac and cheese? - From a box.

I didn't believe such a travesty existed.

- I like mac and cheese. - I like it too.

Powdered cheese!

Sacre bleu!

So, Cyndi met him in his restaurant

which means he never saw the statue of her.

He saw her.

The artifact has to be somewhere on her.

Like an amulet or a charm, a talisman of some sort.

Two male intruders captured at the barn.

Two males intruders captured at the barn. Copy that.

Send me the surveillance footage ASAP.

I'm on my way.

All right. All right.

How did these DOSA guys get mixed up with Cyndi?

Well, they've been investigating magic just like us.

Probably fell under her spell.

All right, we gotta stay strong.

Resist whatever magic she throws at us.

Resist her magic. Check.

No, pretty sure DOSA

has training in military and magical counter ops.

Okay, if these guys can fall under her spell,

a little beta personality like yours...

you're not gonna be able to take the load.

- Hey, I'm not... - Stay strong.

- Morning glory. - Stay strong.

You my sunflower?

I'm whatever you want me to be, darling.

What?

- You are transcendent. - I give you this.

You're cuter than the usual poopie heads that try to break in.

Oh, no.

I would never cause you any trouble.

Until this moment, I was living in the dark.

But now, with you, you're the light of my world.

Okey dokey, you can stay.

What about you?

Hi. Uh, Ezekiel Jones. Pleasure.

You aren't sweet on me.

Yes. I am.

By the way, you look really familiar.

Where do I know you from?

Don't let him fool you. My love knows no bounds.

Cyndi, how I love thee.

When eyes laid first on you, my heart fluttered so.

Goody, another poet.

Stone, this is getting embarrassing.

You really aren't affected, are you?

- By what? - By me.

Yes, I am. I...

You're cool. You're a cool person.

If that so, then how come you're being such sneaky snake

and tried to break into the barn?

'Cause they're Librarians.

Adamski, you're supposed to be overseeing Project Aphrodite.

When I saw the surveillance video,

I recognized them right away

and I came to warn you they're Librarians.

DOSA's been after the Library for years.

Put that away.

- What's the Library? - I'll tell you what it is.

It's secret collection of magical artifacts.

Stone, are you insane? Zip it!

By the way, we came here because we heard his place

was under control of some kind of magic.

Shut up. Otnay in fron-tay of OSA-DAY!

No, don't shut up. Keep yapping.

Magical artifacts? A secret collection?

This all sounds very interesting.

We're Librarians. We work for the Library.

No, we're not. We're plumbers.

Yeah. We keep magic from getting out to the world.

It can be a very dangerous thing in the wrong hands.

Of course, I would never keep it from you, my angel.

There's nothing wrong with your hands.

There's something wrong with your mouth.

Where is this place,

this Library?

Oh, it's underneath the spectacular bridge...

He's nuts. There's no such thing as the Library.

Yes, there is, Cyndi.

And it is filled

with dangerous magical artifacts.

I hate you so much, DOSA dude.

Your lunch, Cyndi.

Mac and cheese.

Did I say you could come in, Miss Manners?

This woman is not kitchen staff.

Colonel Eve Baird, she's with the Library too.

Fine, we'll skip the mac and cheese.

- Ah! - Cyndi!

Where are you going, my blossoming sunflower?

I know where Cyndi went.

Follow me, she's waiting for you.

I called Jenkins for a Magic Door.

This way.

Yeah, blossoming sunflower right this way.

Don't let the Librarians leave the property.

- Flynn! - I can't talk now.

- I have to attend Cyndi's bunions. - What? Ew, no, that's...

Unhand me, I must be with my love.

Oh, I could really use a door right now.

- We... - Cyndi's right here. She's right here.

Right through this door. Right here, just right here.

I don't believe you.

Fine, you two stay here. She likes Ezekiel better anyway.

- Hell, no. - No.

Untie me at once! I have to get back to my lover.

I have to get back to the light of my life.

Light of your life?

It's like they've been dipped in magic.

- Cold and it's windy and from afar... - I long for you,

and you're the long lost love of my life.

How awesomely pathetic.

C-Y-N-D-I!

You're supposed to be this big deal,

super secret G.I. Joe.

How could you let them escape?

I'm sorry. My men had the Librarians cornered.

I have no idea how they vanished.

Because they use magic. Duh.

And now their magic's gonna mess with my plans.

If they return I will handle them, Cyndi.

Anything for you.

What's the deal with Project Aphrodite?

- 48 hours. - No.

I can't wait that long. It has to be done tonight.

Tonight? Oh.

I need three canisters worth, so chop-chop and get cooking.

Jenkins, can you help them?

I certainly hope so. Ezekiel, you were with Stone the entire time?

Pretty much.

And yet you remained unaffected.

- She's not my type. - Hmmm...

- Have an idea? - Yes. No. Well, maybe. Mmm...

These all belong to Cyndi?

Yep. I nicked them from her bedroom.

None of them possess any magical powers whatsoever.

What's with all the sunflowers?

She's got them everywhere.

Greek mythology, sunflowers represent unrequited love.

It had to have been something she did or said,

some sort of rite she performed.

Nope, Cyndi walks in and Stone turns into a lovebird.

I smell lily of the valley.

- It's weird. - I second that.

Stone and Flynn smelled oddly flowery too.

It's her perfume.

So we're not looking for an artifact.

We are looking for a love potion.

Now, the first thing that one should know

about love potions is that they were never about instilling love.

If there's no love in a love potion, then what's in it?

Obsessionem. Latin for "obsession."

Ancient elixirs such as these were originally used

to create uncontrollable arousal and energy

- for the battlefield. - Well, like a possession

but without a spirit actually taking over the body.

Yes, it can be very dangerous.

Kinda like a wild pack of Beliebers?

I have no idea what that means,

but probably worse.

So how did an obsession potion

get to be called a love potion?

Romanic book writers and greeting card companies

shanghaied the word and redefined it.

Okay, so why didn't the love...

I mean, the obsession potion work on me?

Actually, Mr. Jones, it's rather simple.

Because you're completely obsessed with yourself.

It didn't work on me because I'm so awesome.

Advantage me.

Yes, well, whoever made Cyndi's fragrance

is a very powerful practitioner of magic.

Well, it's not Cyndi. She can't even make herself a mac and cheese.

Somebody's gotta be helping her.

- A witch? - Or a warlock?

Mac and cheese!

Chef Pierre's kitchen is way more hi-tech than a normal kitchen.

He's a molecular gastronomist.

It's decked out like a science lab.

What, you think the chef is a warlock?

No, he's under the spell too,

but his kitchen is the perfect place

to home brew some love potion.

I can try to make an antidote

from the trace readings I get from Mr. Carsen and Mr. Stone,

but if you can get me a pure sample of Cyndi's fragrance,

I can do this in no time.

Fire up the back door, Jenkins. We're going back.

Not quite yet.

What is that?

A salve that I've created.

It will help block your olfactory senses from Cyndi's redolence.

Ugh!

You know, it's not so bad if you don't breathe.

No, Jenkins, I'm immune!

I don't need any of your funky junk, remember?

Yes, I do remember.

Do you think the mysterious Project Aphrodite

- is in there? - Who knows?

Ezekiel, see if you can track down a sample of the fragrance

so Jenkins can make an antidote.

Cassandra and I are gonna check out the barn.

Station two, report back to the command center.

Go.

Project Aphrodite.

What's Cyndi doing with a giant missile?

They're preparing it to launch.

Well, what's the target?

That's an LX-18 short range missile.

DOSA must have brought it for Cyndi.

What is Cyndi doing with a giant missile?

It could be adapted to carry a nerve gas payload or...

a love potion.

Only that's crazy.

Cassandra, tell me that's crazy.

Okay, given the 22 degree angle of the platform

and a launch speed of 2.5 miles per second,

it's on track to reach 40,000 feet and then...

- Oh, boy. - Do I wanna know?

It's gonna explode in the troposphere.

When it does, the jet stream will carry it south.

Meaning that within 24 hours...

Everyone along the eastern seaboard

will be exposed to the potion.

Doug.

Thank you, ma'am.

We'll need more for phase two.

Of course I'm making more. What do you think I'm doing?

I think we found our witch.

That's just crass stereotyping.

Gentlemen, not exactly a "eureka" moment,

but I think I have found something.

Now, I was able to collect trace findings of the love potion

from your clothes,

and synthesizing the ingredients,

I do believe that I have made an antidote. So...

Have you seen my Cyndi?

- I'd love to see her again. - I should be able to...

Now, if this is correct, it should come back to normal in three, two, one...

- Jenkins. - Sir. Good to have you back.

Stone?

I never noticed how piercing your eyes are.

You're a remarkably attractive man.

With a very gentle smile.

Noble nose. Strong jaw.

Please, forgive me. Sorry, so sorry.

That's all right, I just have a little more work to do, sorry.

Tell them I'll have it filled in an hour.

Yes, Miss Cyndi.

These have been the happiest days of my life.

It's like, for the first time I'm so connected.

Good people who really care about me.

My whole life, all I've ever wanted is to be accepted.

And here I found a group of people that accepted me

and like me and were my friends.

We know all about your missile

and your little potion and what you and Cyndi are up to.

Oh, thank God.

It's been a nightmare. That wicked girl,

she forced me to do a terrible thing.

Forced? So you're not under her spell?

She has me watched 24 hours a day.

I've practically been her slave.

Look, we can help you but we need a sample of that love potion.

There's a ton of it in the fridge.

But it won't work without the secret ingredient.

Wait. Secret ingredient?

Tears. Tears of the one seeking adoration.

Come... see.

Wow. There's enough in here for ten missiles.

That witch locked us in.

It's time to vote. One of you leaves the house today.

Please, lift up your cards

with the name of the person you're voting out

and the emoji telling us how you feel about them.

Cindy, let's start with you.

Um... I couldn't pick anyone.

You guys have been so great and you've been so wonderful,

I didn't... I wouldn't want any of you to leave the show.

And Dale.

Oh my God. Dale, what?

No! You guys...

Cindy, I'm sorry,

but the house has unanimously voted you out.

- Please, say your good-byes. - Freak.

- Loser! - Get out of the house.

We don't want you here.

I thought... I thought we were friends.

Why would you do that to someone that was your friend?

I thought that we were friends

and you guys were so nice to me.

And you... I trusted you. You would give me advice.

You helped me pick out this shirt for today

and I don't understand.

No, wait, I trusted you. I just wanna know why!

I wanna know why you would do that to somebody.

- Why would you... - That's where I remember you from.

You! I'm calling the guards.

You're Cindy Kroger. "The Life Show."

You changed the spelling but that's you up there.

Those people were absolutely horrible to you.

You saw the show?

What they did to me?

I'm not gonna let anybody make me feel like that.

Ever again.

By using a love potion?

Why not?

After they kicked me off "The Life Show,"

I didn't wanna live anymore.

And then Agnes, the show's makeup artist, she came to me

and she said that she could make me a potion

that would... that would help me,

that would make everybody love me.

It didn't work on me.

It didn't. Why?

Because, I already love, trust,

and believe in someone so much I could never be swayed.

And that person is me.

It doesn't work on you 'cause you're an egomaniac?

No, I don't need other people

to make me believe in myself, to validate me.

And you don't, either.

You don't know me.

You don't know how I feel.

How alone I am.

I've been called a weirdo and a freak

for as long as I can remember.

And now with the potion, everything is good, you're happy now?

I will be. I just need more followers.

I just need more people to love me.

And how many more exactly, 100? 1,000?

How about the entire nation? How about the whole world?

- Don't mock me. - I'm not.

In fact, I am just like you.

I grew up dirt poor, we had nothing.

The other kids laughed at me

because of what I wore and where I lived.

So, I decided one day that if this world wasn't gonna give me what I wanted,

I would take it.

So I became a thief and not just any thief.

I became the greatest thief that ever lived.

And you know what?

No matter how much I stole, I always needed to steal more.

When you allow a hole in your heart to grow that big,

it can never be filled.

I just wanna be loved.

That is not love.

That is obsession and it's only gonna grow worse.

I promise you, Cindy. If you do not stop now, this will not end well.

No, no. Those people will do anything for me.

You're wrong. They love me.

Do they?

Cyndi. You look so gorgeous today.

- She's here. - Cyndi.

- Cyndi. - Cyndi.

Hi, Cyndi.

That is love.

- Lovely, Cyndi. - That is obsession.

Look at what it becomes.

Hey, who's that with my Cyndi?

She's not your Cyndi. She's mine.

Mine, she's mine.

She's my Cyndi. She's mine. She's my Cyndi.

- Stop it. - She's mine.

- Stop. Stop. - She's mine.

Stop it. No. No, stop it.

Stop it! No, stop it!

No!

Oh, no! You're hurting me!

Cindy, come here. Everyone, get away.

- Get away from her! - She's mine.

Cyndi, no, get away from her.

Cyndi!

- We love you! - Cyndi, open up!

That is your future, Cindy.

I don't understand, they're supposed to love me.

That's not you. None of it is.

Look, I watched you on that show.

You are a really sweet, kind, and caring person.

Kinda weird but that's what made you cool.

Now look at what you've become.

This isn't I wanted.

Magic corrupts.

It does this to people, it's not your fault.

No... no. I am so sorry.

I was such a fool. I...

I have to stop the missile launch.

Great.

Wait, missile launch?

Come on, come on, come on.

Ah. Okay. Okay.

When I give the word, kick right there.

Okay. Are you sure this will work?

Well, the door's latched from the inside, so...

if we can lower the temperature of the room

below the ductile-brittle transition temperature,

the weakest bonds of the metal crystal lattice

should become sus... susceptible to damage and break.

Yeah. If we don't freeze first.

There is that. So...

Okay, we're almost there.

Okay, go. Now.

Oh, you did it.

I've an idea. Grab an onion.

- Red or white? - White.

White.

Everyone, listen to me.

We have to stop the launch.

Guys, I said stop.

- Hey, hey, I'm serious. - So are they.

I anticipated that you may have a change of heart.

So now, they have a new love... me!

System activated.

Isn't this what you always wanted, Cindy?

The missile will launch and the whole world will love you.

Incoming...

Is that the best you can do, Guardian?

The potion won't work without tears.

- On it. - Ah.

Onion. Oh.

I love you, Agnes.

Be mine forever.

- Only mine. - She's mine.

Mine and only mine.

Eeny, meeny, miny...

Moe!

If all my years in counter-terrorism taught me anything,

it's never press the red button.

Um, guys, the overdose of the potion has made them completely obsessed.

They're gonna tear her apart.

The antidote.

I think so, anyway.

It worked on Mr. Carsen and Mr. Stone.

- Ah. - Whoa.

Wait a minute. How did she know I'm a guardian?

Ah!

Apep!

What the hell is an "Apep"?

Monster, Egyptian god of chaos.

Really bad dude trying to release pure evil into the world.

I kinda miss Pierre.

His chili mac and cheese dogs were so yummy.

Yeah, at least he let you stay in the mansion a few more weeks

while he goes to save the restaurant he's been neglecting.

I wanna thank you, Ezekiel.

You made me appreciate that it's okay to be just me.

That's what I do.

You said that we were alike,

so how did you finally fix the hole in your heart?

The one that made you want to keep stealing?

It's not about who

or how many people love you.

It's about who you love.

I finally found the right ones worthy of mine.

Did you think I'll ever find friends like yours?

Well, you got one friend.

Take it from there.

Wow.

I gotta... Library... go.

To... you... Jenkins.

I should probably go.

I'll see you around.

Cyndi, I'm coming! Cyndi!

- You stay away from her. - Stop saying her name.

You think it's funny? Ha, ha.

Yes, indeed. Now, are we certain

that this smoke we saw was Apep?

Exactly the same as always.

And Agnes had no memory of anything

afterward whatsoever.

I mean, if he's the god of chaos,

why would he want to spread love?

Not love, obsession.

And the entire world being obsessed

with one single person?

That would wreak chaos.

The balance of good and evil would be tipped.

And now we know why the Clipping Book sent us.

And I believe that should be stored

in the new wing for modern artifacts.

Exactly where I was about to take it.

- Ah. May I? - Of course.

The start of a new love potion wing.

So do we know where Apep is now?

Well, my guess he went back to his sarcophagus.

He has to regenerate and that's the only place he can do it.

And the sarcophagus has disappeared, so...

Well, we need to find it.

Should we see if Cindy wants to help?

Wow, I'm never gonna live this down, am I?

Never.

So, Jones...

You realize your narcissism

isn't the reason why that love potion

didn't work on you, right?

What are you talking about?

Well, Flynn and I have pretty healthy egos too.

Love potion worked on us. It didn't on you.

Why is that?

'Cause you already had feelings for her?

Cindy? Are you insane?

Ever since you saw that girl on that TV show,

you had a thing for her.

That's why the potion didn't work on you.

You were already in love with her.

Love potion.

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