Original subtitles

[Down-tempo music plays]

-[Breathing heavily]

[Eerie notes play]

[Thuds]

[Dramatic music plays]

-Hey! Dude, come on!

You can't lie on the field where you're blocking the...

No way.

What the hell?

[Warbling]

-Blunt force trauma.

-Hey, Todd, you alright?

Do you want to sit down for a minute?

-The circle - The crop circle.

-What are you saying?

-Aliens made a crop circle.

Jacob's lying in the center of an alien crop circle,

but on grass, not crop.

-You know this person?

-No - Well, only that his name is Jacob.

He runs, uh, Jacob's Burgers in town.

-And the circle -

what makes you think it's alien-made?

-Because there's an Aliens Are People Too convention in town,

and now he's lying dead in the center of alien crop circle.

-Back home, many people are found dead on crop circles,

but we call them spirit circles.

-Because spirits rather than aliens made them?

-No. Because they died from overconsumption of vodka.

They pickled their livers.

-Of course.

-This your ball, Todd?

-Uh...yeah, it is.

-And where were you when you hit this?

-You think my ball killed Jacob? -It's possible.

-Nah. They came before me.

-Who's they? -Aliens.

He's dead center, dead on a crop circle.

-Hey, Todd, are you high?

-No. I've told you, I don't smoke that stuff anymore,

except that one time that I completely forgot about

until you just triggered me! -Okay, Todd.

What's with all the alien stuff?

-What more evidence do you want?

He's dead in a crop circle. -Crop circle.

Yeah, okay. We got it.

[Cellphone ringing] -Oh, oh!

-Uh...

Oh. Uh, can I go?

-What's so important?

-Oh, I'm training for speed golf.

Every four hours, I have to hit nine holes.

I've got the last one to go.

-Speed golf?

-Yeah. Three clubs, one ball, fast as you can.

That's for my niece's school fundraiser.

-So, uh, this alien convention, where is it?

-At the Croc. Hey, uh, I got to go.

My ball? -No.

[Down-tempo music plays]

-Hi, Jacob.

You seem to have come unstuck on the 13th hole.

Truly unlucky for some.

Gina, safe to say

that the victim died from his head injury?

-Nothing is safe, Mike,

not when he's lying in a circle of death.

-Best we get a grass sample.

-I am a pathologist, not a greenkeeper.

-Unless there are possible links surrounding his cause of death

and any chemical compound found on the vegetation.

-Certainly, Mike.

Good thinking.

[Marlon Williams' "Whakameatia Mai" plays]

-Well, I need a coffee.

-? No nanahi i noho au ?

? E pouri te ngakau ?

? Rongohia ake reo ?

? Ehara i te whakaharatau ?

-? Ka paroro te rangi ?

? Ka ru te whenua ?

? Hui katoa ki te tangi ?

? Whakameatia mai ?

-Her name is Alfie Gingernuts.

-You have a pig.

-He's not a dolphin, is he?

-Well, it's just a pig on a golf course.

It's not what you'd expect. That's all.

-Well, he's a guard pig.

People who tell you that dog is a man's best friend

have never felt the love of a pig.

And I don't mean my ex-husband when I say that.

Cop, are you?

-DC Chalmers, Brokenwood CIB.

I'd like to ask you a few questions

regarding this morning's incident.

-Grimm. Janet Grimm.

You'd better come in.

[Suspenseful music plays]

-How did you know Jacob Lewis?

-He'd be here about three times a week,

usually first thing.

-But not to play golf.

-Why do you say that?

-Because he didn't have any golf clubs with him.

-Hmm.

Never played golf. He isn't a member.

-Did you see him this morning?

-No, I didn't see him.

-What did he do here?

-Good question. I used to ask him.

He'd say he was going for a walk.

He'd be hanging out in the trees.

The other members used to complain about him lurking.

Theory was, he was a voyeur of sorts.

-A golf voyeur?

-Weird, eh?

Most people watch it on TV.

Then again, he's a chef -

Well, he says he's a chef.

Gourmet burgers? Really?

All chefs are a bit weird.

-You have a greenkeeper?

-Natasha.

Best in the biz.

-Okay. Uh, thanks for your help.

And the 13th fairway

will have to stay closed for a while.

-Didn't expect you two to be UFO aficionados.

-It's always good to keep an open mind.

-Bad one about Jacob Lewis.

-Wow. Word spreads fast around here.

-Thanks, Frodes. Put it on the tab.

-Inspector?

-Uh, Detective Senior Sergeant, actually.

Uh, Mike Shepherd.

-Uh, Detective Kristin Sims, Brokenwood CIB.

-Zelda Belfan, President of Aliens Are People Too - AAPT.

-AAPT? -Yes.

And I believe I can help you with your investigation.

-You have some information?

-From the account that I've been given,

it sounds very much like a failed alien abduction.

The human body found

at the dead center of the crop circle is the tell.

-Well, at this stage, it's still too early to conclude

whether or not the circle is in fact a crop circle.

-Oh, but most likely, "for sure." [ Chuckles]

-Oh, sorry. How rude of me.

This is Christopher, a fellow member of AAPT.

-Christopher Kramer? Yeah, we've met.

-Oh? Um, I don't think so.

-It was a few years ago, with regards to the Deschler Clinic.

-Hmm. No, I can't say I recall.

-Uh, well,it was a long time ago.

-Christopher!

-Well, maybe that does vibrate a faint frequency.

But the more important thing is you understand

who you're in the company of.

Now, if you need expert advice on alien abduction,

Zelda's our guiding light on anything extraterrestrial.

-Oh, Christopher, please.

-Tell them. Go on.

-It was 2010. I was 22.

And I was abducted by an alien spacecraft.

The experience gave me a intimate understanding

of alien life form.

The cosmic beings and I...

communed, shall we say,

connected on a very deep level,

several times.

It was phenomenal.

My life changed forever.

And from that, I have a theory which explains how your man -

Jacob, is it? - might have died.

Follow me.

-[Clears throat]

-Z-Zelda is my fianc�e.

-Wow. Go, you.

-No, no, no. Not "go you."

This is serious. It's a committed relationship.

-Okay. -So look.

That guy you used to know, the old Christopher -

he's history, okay?

And new Christopher - he's got it together.

New Christopher is trying hard and succeeding

to be a fully integrated member of society.

New Christopher is the only Christopher that Zelda knows.

Christopher.

-New Christopher, fully integrated.

Got it.

[Down-tempo music plays]

-The convention is in the ballroom.

-New AAPT members?

Why am I not surprised?

-Trudy.

-Oh. Looking great. Kirk.

Keep it up.

-Thanks.

-Brokenwood is in close proximity

to Earth's magnetic south pole.

Magnetic radiation passing overhead from the pole

can disrupt an alien craft's navigation system.

-That's right. Um, alien planets may not have magnetic poles,

so aliens wouldn't think to have polar navigational offsets.

-If the vessel descended too quickly

with its door prematurely open,

then it's likely that the leading edge of the door

struck the man's head, like so. -[Chuckles]

It's got aborted alien abduction written all over it.

It's a AAA event.

-Uh, did either of you know Jacob Lewis?

-Know him? I don't think so.

[Down-tempo music plays]

-I'm - I'm vegan.

-It's interesting

that you're holding a convention in Brokenwood

and then a AAA event occurs.

-It's more than interesting. It's reinforcing.

I'm constantly communing with cosmic beings,

and I put a lot of energy out.

I'm hopeful that tomorrow night,

that energy will be returned in the form of a visitation.

-Why tomorrow night?

-Oh, as part of the convention.

We're staging a reach-out.

-Well, uh...

Oh. Thank you.

Uh, good luck with that. -Yeah, good luck.

-Thank you. I am so glad I could help.

-Me too. -[Clears throat]

-Mm.

-Nonbelievers?

-Infidels.

-They will come around.

-Excuse me, Detectives.

-Ah. Dr. Plummer, Reverend Greene.

-Is it true about Jacob Lewis?

-Uh, Mr. Lewis was found dead

on the golf course this morning, yes.

You knew him? -Not personally, no.

We were well-acquainted with his cuisine.

-Dining at his restaurant -

something of our Friday night treat.

-Triple truffle burger

with mushroom filet and chipotle fries.

-Ooh, yummy.

-The, um, truffle thing is not to my taste.

-Lucas has another vice.

-And one Holy Sinner with Double Cheese,

feta and beetroot fondue. -Ah.

Dare I say it,

a taste of Heaven.

-Such a huge loss to the gastro community.

-So you're members of AAPT? -[Chuckles] No.

I prefer to think that aliens are their own unique species.

I'm doing research

for my next psychology book, "Believing is Seeing."

I'm simply here to observe the power of human imagination.

-And you, Reverend?

-I can never resist a free cap.

And of course I'm also here

to offer the Church's perspective if needed.

-Oh. -Which is vague at its best.

[Cellphone ringing] -We can discuss this later.

-Uh, it's Gina.

[Clears throat] Gina.

-Mike, I've done a preliminary examination

on the victim's body.

-And?

-There are several sites of damage.

-I see. -Mike, I think

there may have been multiple aliens involved.

-Multiple aliens?

-I would bet a dwarf planet...

and a solar eclipse, Mike.

-I'm on my way.

[Suspenseful music plays]

-Bye.

[Warbling]

[Dramatic music plays]

-Excuse me! -Lena, hi.

-I heard about Jacob.

It's so awful.

-Oh, did you know him?

-Well, he used to hang out here,

hitting on me for a date.

-The golf course? -Yeah.

Come on. You'd love it. It's beautiful at sunset.

There's lots of birds.

-Okay, sure. Why not?

-We could take Trudy's dog.

-Trudy's dog? Why?

-Well, you know, first date and all.

Just might pay to have an adult in the room.

-[Laughs]

He was an odd guy, but cute.

Not as cute as Chad was, but still cute.

-Hey, do you reckon Piney is a sight hound or a scent hound?

-What?

-Well, hunting dogs are bred to be one or the other.

Scent hounds have supersharp noses.

You can train them to pick up on pretty much anything.

-I've got no idea. I'm more of a cat person.

Do you like cats?

Meow!

I've got a catsuit at home.

[Suspenseful music plays]

-Looking for something?

-Just out for a casual walk.

There's no crime in that, is there?

-Dogs are banned from the course.

You need to leave.

-What, dogs are banned, but pigs aren't?

Talk about animal inequality.

-[Scoffs] Read "Animal Farm."

You'll get the idea.

-Neither of us had read it.

And Jacob admitted he wasn't into cats,

not that I'd wear my catsuit on a first date.

The catsuit was me and Chad's thing.

Still feels a bit soon, actually.

-Uh, Lena, what was Jacob digging for?

-Lost golf balls.

What else?

-Quite the romantic first date.

-I was an extra pair of eyes to scan for balls.

Piney was there to sniff for the buried ones.

-I wouldn't have thought that lost golf balls would be buried.

-Really old ones are.

Jacob said the aged ones are the most valuable.

Soil preserves them, and they become like antique.

-Well, uh, thanks.

Um, we'll be in touch if we need to know more.

[Down-tempo music plays]

[Suspenseful music plays]

-Natasha? -Tash. Y-Yeah?

-Uh, DC Chalmers.

A few questions about this morning's incident.

-Right. Right, yeah.

Shocking.

-What time did you start work this morning?

-Uh, around 7:00 a.m.

-Did you notice anyone

on or around the 13th fairway at that time?

-Uh, no.I was working in here,

busy doing maintenance work.

The mowers constantly need oil and grease, so...

No, I-I didn't see Jacob.

But every other day I did. [Chuckles]

-How well do you know him?

-I know him enough to know he's a self-entitled dick.

-That's a strong opinion.

-He was always damaging my fairways

with his endless walking and lurking about.

I warned him to get off my greens,

but he'd be a right asshole about it.

Hey!

-I've had enough of you!

-Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

-[Shouts indistinctly]

-I never did get that hole-in-one.

-And that's as close as you got to him?

-Too risky for him to get any closer.

I'm way more accurate at chipping than driving.

[Chuckles]

-The victim has a severe traumatic brain injury

resulting from a blunt force to the head.

Extensive fractures radiate from the central point of impact.

-Could a golf ball cause that injury?

-No. Too small.

The trauma indicates that a large,

curved object impacted his head,

possibly a golf club.

But as I was saying,

he also has a welt-like injury on the side of his cuff.

-From the same object?

-More tests, Mike.

But the tissue damage suggests it happened at the same time.

-At time of death?

-With no onset of rigor mortis when we arrived,

I would estimate between 6:00 and 8:00 a.m.

-And the grass samples?

-The grass has been burnt, not sprayed.

-But the victim - was his skin or clothing burnt at all?

-No.

[Suspenseful music plays]

-I burn the grass off with a flamethrower.

We're one of the first golf courses in the world

to be certified as organic.

So obviously weed kill is a total no-go.

-Uh, why do you burn a circle of grass?

-I like polka dots.

I'm gonna burn them all over.

[Chuckles] I'm making a bunker.

Step one, burn off the grass.

And step two, let it sit for a week,

let the roots dry out.

And then dig a bunker.

-Why a perfect circle?

-Circles are the ultimate symmetrical shape.

They're balanced.

They evoke harmony.

Symmetry actually helps calm the players.

My next bunk is gonna be an equilateral triangle.

-Thomas.

[Dramatic music plays]

-Excuse me. -[Chuckles]

-Hey!

Can I help you?

I'm Detective -

Hey! Hey!

-[Sniffles]

-Starting a new hobby?

-I'm saving that treat for retirement.

-When you won't be able to afford it. Very wise.

-Mm.

-Did I ever mention that I - -Hate golf?

-Many times.

-Uh, we found this in the rough,

not far from the crop circle.

I'm guessing it broke and someone's dumped it.

-Be a pretty decent weapon in the wrong hands.

-Uh, get Gina to see if it's a match for Jacob's wounds.

-Um, as we were retrieving this,

I saw a man loitering on the fairway.

Uh, didn't look like a golfer,

and he took off once I tried to engage with him.

[Suspenseful music plays]

I couldn't get a read on the number plates.

Tash didn't recognize him either.

Aside from that, neither she nor the club manager, Janet Grimm,

saw anyone on the course prior to Todd finding the victim.

-So the fairways were empty?

-But for the aliens.

-Ah, yes. On that note,

uh, in her shed, Tash is hiding something strange

under a drop cloth.

-How strange?

-Well, let's just say at this stage,

it remains unidentified.

What's under the drop cloth?

-Uh, uh, w-why do you want to know? [Laughs]

[Clears throat] -I'm intrigued by its contour.

-Uh...

Yeah, I can't tell you. [Laughs nervously]

[Chiming]

-You think it's a UFO?

[Scoffs] You do, don't you?

-No. All I'm saying is - -A flying saucer.

Well, come on. -Why was she being evasive?

-You have that effect on people.

There is no flying saucer.

But if there is, I'll dress up as a little, green alien.

-Well, then, boss, we should get a warrant to find out.

-On the suspicion that a greenkeeper

is harboring alien fugitives in a spaceship?

-It's tenuous.

-But Kristin as a little, green alien -

surely that's worth a shot. -In your dreams.

-Uh, what about Jacob's caf�?

-Do you know if anyone wanted to harm Jacob?

-No. He was a cool guy.

-Did he owe anyone any money?

-Mm, the caf�'s doing well, so I doubt that.

He was thinking of expanding,

wanted me to take over some of the cooking.

But that's so not my thing.

-Did he seem more stressed than normal?

-Uh, he was a bit antsy

about the rising price of raw ingredients.

But who isn't?

-Okay, well, um, thank you for your help.

Can you cook?

-Can I cook?

-It's just I'm freaking out.

-Well, it turns out Jacob's caf� have the contract

for catering the AAPT event,

and Freya is a little bit overwhelmed by the prospect.

-Todd.

-Hey, I've been thinking about the crop circle,

trying to make sense of it.

Uh, have you spoken to Janet Grimm?

-We have. -Oh, good.

Cos when I saw her this morning, it was really weird.

-[Groans] What the hell, lady?!

Get the hell out of here! Go on!

-So I figured maybe Janet and the alien forces

might be working together.

-Because? -She was threatening him.

Next minute, he was struck by a spaceship.

-What was the yelling about?

-Oh, it's obvious, isn't it?

It was about herding Jacob into the open space

while giving the spaceship a clear shot at him.

[Cellphone ringing]

Ah! Too soon. Hey, I've got a train.

-Someone's telling porkies. [Door closes]

-Indeed.

Let's bring in Janet Grimm.

[Dramatic music plays]

-Pay the green fees. End of story.

-Capitalist coercion.

This is probably stolen land anyway.

-No pay, no play.

-Listen, this is so much bigger than us not paying green fees.

-We were this close to actual contact -

this close. -I smell bacon?

[Pig squealing]

-You've upset him. It's okay, hon.

It's okay. -No. The actual pigs are here.

-Ms. Grimm, we need to talk.

-Can you arrest these clowns? -For?

-Trespassing, not paying green fees.

Anything would be good to get them out of my face.

-Fellas, can I have a word?

-Uh, Janet, we have a witness

who saw you shouting at Jacob Lewis this morning

on the golf course. -Who said that?

-That's not relevant. What is relevant

is why you said you hadn't seen anyone

on the course when you had.

-Well, with all the police activity,

it must have slipped my mind.

-What were you arguing about?

-He was doing his usual lurking in the trees,

but he was also digging up the grounds.

I'd had enough. -Why would he be digging?

-No idea. Just what he does.

He digs. He looks.

-We're gonna need a formal statement from you

down at the station.

-Oh, I can't leave Alfie. -I'll talk to Tash.

I'm sure she can hold the fort.

-Don't fret, honey. Won't be long.

-Christopher, you may claim not to remember me,

but I certainly remember you well enough

to know that you are not a golfer,

as evidenced by your attire.

-We wanted to blend in.

-To sneak onto the golf course? Why?

-To pay our respects to the dead guy.

-So sneaking into a crime scene?

-An aborted alien abduction is not a crime scene.

-A AAA event is the scene of an accident.

-We came to be at one with the crop circle.

-Beautiful.

-They were here -

right here.

-Which means we're only a few hours behind actual contact.

-Aliens were here! Aliens were here!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! It's like the yolk of a giant alien egg

has just oozed down into the grass.

Ah! [Sniffs]

Ow! It smells so good.

-Christopher, check the radiation.

-Oh!

[Detector warbling, clicking]

Oh. Affirmative.

-Turned out to be 0.001 mSv's.

-So about the same as eating a banana, then?

-They still left their mark.

-And you still disregarded a police cordon.

-Plastic tape. Big deal.

-Uh, Detective,

y-you don't have to tell Zelda about this, do you?

I just don't want to stress her out.

-I think we can keep it between us.

-Great. And - And remember, I'm a -

-You're a fully integrated member of society.

Yeah. So act like it.

-Chris, don't talk to pigs.

They're not like us.

They're animals.

[Pig snorting]

-Hello?

[Suspenseful music plays]

[Ominous note plays]

[Thuds]

-Once again, what were you and Jacob arguing about?

-His attitude.

-Digging up and wrecking your golf course?

-Hostile, wouldn't you say?

-What was he digging for?

-Golf balls.

-Let me guess -

the buried ones are aged and therefore worth more.

-[Chuckles]

A golf ball's a golf ball as far as I'm concerned.

-Hey, hey! You're ripping me off big-time!

-Supply and demand. That's all it is.

Take it or leave it.

-Supply and demand of what? -Golf balls.

I bought them off Jacob for a dollar.

I sold them at the clubroom shops for $5.

He thought the market was too high, wanted more money.

I refused.

I don't pretend to understand how his mind works,

but he was digging up my course.

We shouted at each other, and end of story.

-[Groans]

-Hi there. -[Groans]

-How do you feel?

-[Groans] Like I've been hit in the head with a shovel.

-Well, that's a good sign,

because that is what happened. [Laughs]

So at least your memory hasn't been affected.

-Great. What did you feel the need to hit me?

-I thought you were a prowler. -[Sighs]

-What do you think you're doing, anyway?

-I came to see you. -No. You were snooping.

-I'm a detective. You know that.

-I did have a prowler here last week.

-Oi!

What do you think you're doing?

-Uh, lost my keys.

-Like hell you did.

Get out of here!

He was casing the place, looking for a way to break in.

Snooping.

-For what?

[Suspenseful music plays]

-Foreign objects.

-Such as? -Let's just say

some things belong in this world and some things don't.

[Mid-tempo music plays]

-Hey. -Hey.

-What's with you?

-Oh, a bit of a bump to the head.

-By the leading edge of a spaceship's

prematurely open door?

-Ha ha!

I went to talk to Tash.

I was in her shed. It was dark.

She thought I was a prowler. She whacked me with a shovel.

-What a nasty bruise.

No broken skin, though.

-Get checked for concussion.

Do you want to charge her?

-Well, technically, I was trespassing, no warrant.

-Trying to get a peek at a flying saucer?

-Well, she did mention something

about not belonging to this world.

-Daniel, come on now. Let it go.

-Did you get anything more useful

than a possible concussion?

-Not much.

This morning...

are you sure you didn't see Jacob Lewis?

-I already told you no.

-Well, it's just that you were in a circle in the grass,

and the guy you didn't like ends up getting it,

hit over the head.

I'm wondering if there's a pattern here.

Was it your shovel?

-Well, if it was, I wasn't swinging it.

-[Sighs]

-Did you ever see him digging up the golf course?

-No.

Although Janet reckons she saw him.

And there was some damage around the place.

Although that'd be Alfie.

'Cause, hey, if a course manager owns a pig,

what do you expect?

-It is odd, though, isn't it?

Why bring a pig to a golf course?

And whatever Janet and Jacob were arguing about,

I doubt it was the price of lost balls.

-Perhaps we should take a closer look at the three amigos.

Chris Kramer, Kirk Rollins, and Luke Lamaro

all snuck onto the Brokenwood golf course today.

-Did they say why?

-To commune with the alien crop circle.

-Or they were looking for something.

-Yeah, like that golf club.

-That or whatever they used to kill Jacob Lewis

earlier that morning.

-But why kill the caterer?

-Maybe it didn't matter who.

Just someone -

Someone to die in the crop circle

to prove their crazy beliefs -

aliens have come.

[Down-tempo music plays]

-Thanks, Frodo.

-How's your X-file progressing?

-The alien-abduction line of inquiry

is not something we're pursuing right now.

-Zelda won't be happy.

-I don't think Zelda will be truly happy

until she's back aboard the Battlestar Galactica.

-I'll see you in there.

Don't want to miss any revelations.

-[Clears throat]

-You're not really gonna go in there, are you?

A bunch of crazies.

-Trudy. You're not catering the event?

-Thankfully.

I wouldn't trust that fruitcake to pay up.

-You will get your money

when we're satisfied with the service.

-Dish out porky pigeon pizzas

if you don't care about the quality!

-Hey! Keep your voice down!

-They're not vegan.

-If there is no connection

with the cosmic overlords tomorrow,

it will be because my energy flows are disrupted,

and I will hold you personally responsible.

-Now look what you've done. -Hey. Hey.

Pay up, and I'll plate up!

-With venue hire, you can lock them out.

With food, they can scoff and run.

-Did they pay up? -Don't know.

What Idoknow is they have desperation

written all over them, so watch your backs.

-The cosmic overlords are observing

the way we live and think.

Right now our culture is too destructive

to be of any use to them.

We must strive to achieve a greater sense of harmony.

Only then will they begin to purify us.

-Now, Lucas. Now!

-Reverend?

-Your mention of the aliens

helping us to be better interplanetary beings

resonates with the Christian idea

of humanity being prepared for eternal life.

I wonder if God, rather than your cosmic cosmic...

-Cosmic overlords. -Yes.

Uh, I wonder if God might make a much better job

of that transformation.

-I actually believe that God

is an alien, a cosmic overlord.

So you might be onto something there, Reverend.

Christopher? -Uh, how long did you

commune with the cosmic overlords?

-It's hard to say. Um...

You lose all sense of time.

It's like you're traveling into the past

and the future simultaneously.

So in Earth time, I'd estimate around 10 days?

-Were the aliens naked?

-Uh, yes.

-Wereyounaked? -[ Laughs]

Christopher, I told you. I was at a music festival.

Of course I was naked.

But you know you can't handle this.

-Did the aliens have genitals?

-Christopher! -Okay.

Um, how did you communicate with the aliens,

uh, if there was a lack of common language?

-By touch.

And if you must know, I loved it.

And so did they.

Alright, everyone. That concludes my presentation.

Now let's move on to planning tonight's event.

Now that the lights and equipment are sorted,

then there's only one thing left to do

to attract an alien spaceship.

Can I please have a volunteer from the audience

to offer themselves up as an abductee?

Oh, Christopher. No. Sorry.

We already have a volunteer.

And we don't want the cosmic overlords

to have to choose between the two of you.

Alright, everyone!

Let's please give a round of applause to our hero, Luke!

Yes!

[ Cheers and applause]

Luke, your bravery is truly commendable.

If abducted, I can truly say

that your life will be enriched beyond imagination.

-Bring it on! -[ Laughs] Yes!

[Cheers and applause]

-My abduction will be further proof

not only that aliens exist,

but they are here for good, not evil.

-[Exhales heavily]

-I am willing to stake my life on it.

Aliens Are People Too. Yes.

-Aliens Are People Too! -Aliens Are People Too!

-Aliens Are People Too! -Aliens Are People Too!

-Aliens Are People Too! -Aliens Are People Too!

[Cheers and applause]

-Yeah! -Alright, everyone!

[Laughs] Thank you.

And see you tonight at the designated zone!

[Cheers and applause]

-Special bunch of humans. -Mm-hmm.

-Cosmic-politan?

-Uh. No. Thanks. We're okay, Lena.

-Why were you two in there?

-Uh, we came to ask a couple of questions.

-While infiltrating our meeting.

-You two were on the golf course yesterday.

-Yes. You saw us. -They're slow learners.

-Were you there earlier in the day?

Say around 7 a.m.?

-Wow. A diversion tactic.

Who do you work for? Secret Service? CIA?

-CIB, actually. We like to keep it local.

-Well? -Asleep in my motel.

-Alone?

-No. I was with my dreams.

-And you? -I was with Zelda.

-Don't ask what he was doing, though, eh, Christopher?

X-rated.

-Is there a problem?

-The police, or should I say government plants,

have been spying on us.

-We have nothing to hide. -Good.

Where were you yesterday between 7 and 8 a.m.?

-Uh, why are you looking at Luke?

I've told you it was an aborted alien abduction.

-A triple-A event. -Yeah.

We are the experts in this field.

Trust us. -I can handle this.

I was at the motel prepping for my keynote speech tomorrow

titled "Your Neighbor is an Alien."

In fact, you're more than welcome to attend

to hear my proof.

-And what proof would that be?

-Leaked top-secret documents detailing

how aliens are living among us here and now.

-We are so blinkered by normality

that we can't see them,

but Jacob Lewis saw them.

I'm sure of it.

-Whatever Jacob saw killed him,

but alien interference is unlikely.

-Then how do you explain the crop circle?

-Burn-off with a flamethrower by a greenkeeper. Routine.

-Conspiracy of doubt.

-Ms. Belfan, you said you didn't know the victim,

but you were seen arguing with him the night before he died.

-Hey! Pay up, and I'll plate up!

-I'm sure we met, however I didn'tknowhim.

And we weren't arguing. We were negotiating.

-But you had a problem with Mr. Lewis?

-Oh, there was no problem.

In fact, the food should be here soon.

Sustenance for our big night ahead.

-Mm.

-[Clears throat]

-Kirk Rollins is a creep.

-Passionate. And there's delusional, at least.

-[Grunts]

[Chuckles] Rookie mistake.

Should have parked the car closer to the front door.

-Freya, this is Detective Shepherd.

-Hi. -Hello.

-I see you've had some success.

-It's a disaster.

Jacob's famous truffle tofu pasta without any truffles.

-What? He forgot to add them?

-No. We've run out. I substituted mustard for it.

I'm hoping they won't notice.

-Your supplier let you down?

-No idea. Jacob sourced them.

I've got to get in there. See you.

-Good luck!

-What do people with steel rods

and pigs rooting around trees have in common?

-What?

-Alfie. [Chuckles]

-Janet.

-How can I help?

-Jacob Lewis didn't supply you with golf balls, did he?

-I'm not sure what you're getting at.

-He was hunting for the same thing that you hunt for.

-And what would that be?

-Truffles.

Jacob was digging for truffles,

but, unlike you, he didn't find any.

-Truffles?

They need black walnut trees, don't they?

Or English oaks.

We don't have any on the course.

-You seem to know a lot about it.

We can have a search team here within the hour with a warrant.

If they find any, it could put you on the frame

for Jacob Lewis' murder.

-How? -Motive.

The search team will do their best, but it could get messy.

-Alright. Alright.

-Best we do this at the station, huh?

-But Alfie... -Alfie seems happy to me.

Come on. -Okay.

-Hello, Janet.

Truffles found on the root system of some trees,

including a certain variety of pine.

-What of it?

-Uh, they can fetch up to $3,500 per kilo.

If one had their own supply, it's understandable

that they might not like others helping themselves.

-And how far might one go to protect that supply?

-It was an accident. The discovery, that is.

Alfie, what have you found?

Tuber melanosporum.

[Sniffs]

P�rigord. Black truffles.

Otherwise known as black gold.

I had seen Jacob offered truffled mushrooms on his menu,

so I thought he might be interested.

Offered him a private deal.

40% of the going rate.

He was happy.

He expanded his menu around truffles,

and the caf� was a success.

But then I raised my price.

Only fair to share in his success.

Oi! What do you think you're doing?!

-Well, I know extortion when I see it.

You forced me to take matters into my own hands.

-Well, you won't find anything here.

-Come on, Janet. The golf course has got to be your source.

I mean, look at Alfie. He's onto one right now.

-You get off my land right now!

But he got greedy.

Stuck his little nose in and wouldn't let go.

I don't know how many times I chased him off.

I told you to get out of here!

-Whatevs.

-[Grunts] -Aah! What the hell, lady?!

-Get the hell out of here! Go on!

I detest it when people say "Whatever."

"Whatevs"? [Inhales sharply]

Like fingernails down a blackboard.

-Well, manners and bad grammar aside,

you still seriously assaulted Jacob.

-Whatever.

Well, he had it coming.

-The blow to his leg or the blow to his head?

The one that killed him.

-You had a weapon...

and you admit to beating him on the leg.

-I swear I only hit him the once.

I-I would never take someone's life.

Not - Not for all the truffles in the world.

-Janet Grimm, we need you to remain in Brokenwood

while we ascertain whether your pole

delivered the fatal blow to the victim's head.

-You know, if word gets out,

it'll be like the gold-rush days.

To a chef, the scent of a truffle

awakens a hunger as primal as bloodlust.

I'll be fending off a stampede of chefs

and their kitchen hands mining up the fairways.

It's just a little sideline, you see, for my retirement.

I'd appreciate it if we keep it just between ourselves.

[Clanking]

[Engine shuts off]

-DC Chalmers?

Yeah. It's Tash.

I think I found something.

-Your alien friends must be very small to fly in that.

-Who said they were big?

Tash found this 20 meters downhill from the crop circle.

Fingerprints made a match on a Bud Johnson.

Judging by this, I'm sure he's the man I saw on the fairway.

-Why wouldn't you own up to looking for a discus?

-When you use your discus to kill someone.

Get Gina to check the curvature of that discus

against Jacob's head injury.

-A bash with that would do the job.

-Mm. And Bud Johnson has a prior for assault.

He got 12 months home detention for it.

His ankle bracelet came off six months ago.

-Hang on. I think I've read about him.

Is discus a decathlon event?

-I think so.

-Yeah. Yeah. Look.

"Brokenwood decathlon star flies high.

Bud Johnson showcased his prowess

at the National Athletic Championships,

earning a commendable fourth place.

-Hi. Bud Johnson?

-Yeah.

-Detective Kristin Sims. Brokenwood CIB.

And I believe you've already met my colleague DC Chalmers.

We think we have some lost property belonging to you.

It's a track-and-field discus. Was found on the golf course.

-It could be mine. Can I see it?

-Yeah, it's back at the station. -Why?

-We were hoping you could help us with that.

-How?

-A man was found dead on the golf course this morning.

-So I lose a discus,

and next minute I'm a murder suspect?

-Oh, he didn't say that.

-Yeah, but you're thinking it.

-Today when I called out to you, you ran off,

and then you drove away from me in a reckless manner.

Why? -Yeah. Look.

I've learnt the hard way that if I don't say any words,

you can't twist them.

-But surely that's only a problem

if you've actually done something wrong.

I suggest you come back to the station with us

and make a statement about how your discus

ended up on the golf course.

Recorded words are harder to manipulate.

Were you on the golf course

early yesterday morning around sunrise?

-Yes.

-And what were you doing there?

-I was discus training.

-And did you see anyone else at the golf course

during that time?

-No.

-Why did you leave your discus there?

-I just made my first throw of the morning

when I got a call about an accident.

To get the job, I've got to be the first tow in the scene.

I didn't have time to look for my discus.

-What fairway number were you on?

-No idea.

-A man was found dead on the golf course.

He died from a severe head injury

at the time you were there.

-We know you have a conviction for assault.

We know that the man you assaulted

was in hospital for over a week.

-Do you know why I assaulted him?

-Enlighten us.

-The drunk prick was my neighbor's ex.

He came in to beat her up again.

I made sure it was the last time he hurt her.

I've done my anger-management course,

and I'll admit the ninth step is the hardest one.

-What is the ninth step?

-To develop empathy for the other's perspective.

I still don't have empathy for my neighbor's ex,

but I'm trying to change my ways.

That's why I'm training so hard.

It's a way of releasing all the negativity.

-Do you know this man?

-I don't remember.

[Knock on door]

-Uh, Gina. You wanted to see me?

-Always, Mike. Good evening.

-Evening.

-The curvature of this type of discus

matches the victim's head injury.

The decathlete. Bud Johnson.

I've seen his photo in the paper.

Handsome.

He reminds me of a volleyball player I knew in Vladivostok.

-Well, Bud Johnson was convicted for serious assault.

And depending on what you tell me,

perhaps more convictions will follow.

-I will do what I can for you, Mike,

if you allow me to show you my melons.

-Uh...sure.

-Imagine this melon is the victim's head.

A very accurate throw that struck at full speed

could also kill.

World-champion discus throws

travel at speeds of 26 meters per second,

which is 93.6 kilometers per hour.

-So it's like being hit in the head by a very small car.

-A 2kg car with no wheels that flies, yes.

The impact force at high velocity

leads to certain cranial fracture.

[Squish]

-If Bud Johnson threw his discus from a very short range...

it would have been a lethal act.

-But did he have intent?

-Bud Johnson stated he didn't know Jacob Lewis,

so where's the motive?

-So a freak accident? -Well, if you're training,

you're going to watch the full flight of your throw

to see how far it flies.

He would have had to have seen it strike Jacob.

-Intentional or accidental. Either way, it's a hit-and-run.

Let's bring him in tomorrow.

[Eerie synth music playing]

-[Speaking indistinctly]

-I fail to see a meaningful distinction

between belief in extraterrestrial life

and belief in God.

There is no empirical evidence to suggest that either exist.

-I'm not concerned with the belief.

It's theworshipingof aliens that's the issue.

-Worshipers' belief times a few degrees.

-Ohh.

Roger, you're hogging the blanket.

-Lucas, please. I'm not!

-[Grunts]

-[Speaking in tongues]

-Uh, when did Luke learn Alienese?

-I taught him yesterday.

-Uh-huh.

-Out of all of us, I think that Luke is the best bait,

for want of a better word.

He's strong mentally, physically.

You feel a little feeble in comparison.

-[Scoffs] But you're not at all?

-I haven't communed with aliens in 16 years.

I make you all follow me up and down the country,

promising alien encounters that never eventuate.

-But they will.

-I wonder if Luke would be a better leader if I stood down.

We could make him president.

-No way.

We follow you because we believe in you.

There could be a million reasons why aliens haven't visited us,

and none of them would involve you.

You remain our one degree of separation to another life form.

You're phenomenal!

-Really? -Yes.

Yesterday, Jacob Lewis came this close to being abducted.

That is no coincidence.

They are looking foryou.

They are coming.

But it'll be you and not Luke

who they beam up into their ship.

-And I wouldn't say no.

Thank you, Christopher.

[Luke speaking in tongues]

-[Muttering]

Ohh! Ha ha!

-Man. This is too much.

[Phone dings and buzzes]

-I take it this was the venue AAPT chose for their reach-out?

-Interesting choice, given Jacob Lewis' demise.

-This is my fault.

-Why? -I found both bodies.

I've tapped into some kind of dark-energy vortex.

-Well, I think that was just a weird coincidence.

[Phone ringing]

Training time again? Really?

-No way.

I'm done with speedgolf. The body count is too high.

-Time of death?

-Well, judging by his body temperature,

maybe between 3 and 5 a.m.

-How similar are his injuries to the first victim?

-He has a head injury on his right temple

and symmetrical marking on his forehead.

But look, Mike.

He has burn marks on both hands.

-Cause?

-Too early to say.

-Did you burn another circle yesterday on fairway 6?

-No.

-Did you see anyone this morning on the course?

-No.

Was the circle a perfect circle?

So...who died?

-I can't say.

-It could have been the thief. -What thief?

-I just called into your station to report it.

Last night, someone broke in here and stole my flamethrower.

And my favorite drop cloth.

-Hence the tarpaulin.

-Well, modesty is important. [Chuckles]

-Okay, I'll get Fingerprints in here

to see if they can pick anything up.

Until then, don't touch anything.

-But I already put the tarp on, so technically I've touched it.

-I can see that.

-[Chuckles]

So if I was to slowly approach that shape

and pull the tarp off,

would you try and hit me with a shovel?

-I truly am sorry about that. [Chuckles]

No. Hold on. I'll do it.

[Chuckles]

You can't tell anyone. It's a surprise for my kids.

It's gonna be a float for their school fundraiser.

-So when you said some things don't belong in this world...

-I just don't want Janet finding out.

Last year, I made a Thomas the Tank Engine.

You should have seen this thing. It was so good. It was...

Anyway, Janet busted me.

She accused me of using the shed for moonlighting

and she threatened to fire me.

She can't know. -I can work with that.

-[Chuckles]

-And you know it's perfect, right?

-Really?

-Yeah. It's absolutely perfect.

-Uh, Tash claims she didn't burn the circle,

but her flamethrower and her drop cloth

were stolen last night.

-Shut the entire course down. -Copy that.

-I'll put a search team together.

-Gina, can you get me some grass sam-

-Mike, you should know by now

that I always know what you want.

-What the hell's going on here?

-Another person has been found dead.

Uh, walk with me.

-Who was it?

And what's all this gear on my fairway?

-It's too early to tell.

Have you seen anyone on the golf course this morning?

-Well, your cop on the gate turned away the first players

about 20 minutes ago.

-Okay. Have you been on the fairway this morning?

-No.

-We need to close the entire golf course

until further notice.

-When can I get my walking pole back?

-When you stop assaulting people with it.

-Get on with it, then.

-A little more. A little - little more.

Oh. Too much. Heh.

-Uh, Ms. Belfan.

Uh, could we have a word, please?

-This is about Luke, isn't it? He's been abducted.

We came by looking this morning,

but we didn't get a warm reception.

Did you see flashing lights

indicating the spaceship's departure?

-He's already said he's been told to say nothing.

-Maybe he's a RoboCop that missed

getting the speech chip installed.

-Kirk, please be respectful.

-I think his silence is a really good sign.

Cops are in full-on cover-up mode.

Luke has been abducted.

He's probably communing with the cosmic overlords right now.

-Detective, please.

There is no need to cover this up.

It's positive news.

-Luke Lamaro's body was found on the course this morning.

-Oh, damn. Damn. Damn.

-My God. It's another triple-A event.

-There's no evidence to suggest that.

-Two deaths days apart at the same location?

-Of course, it's another abduction attempt.

-Is there a crop circle?

-Once again, there was a burnt circle of grass,

which appears to be man-made.

-But you can't be sure. -How stupid are you?

Can you not see the parallels?

-Did he have a head injury? -Mm.

And an unusual marking on his forehead.

-There you go! God damn it! We missed it!

-Damn it! -Uh, Zelda,

could I look at your model spaceship again, please?

-Yeah. Christopher, please.

-Ah...

-Do you think he suffered?

I should never have left him alone.

[Gasps] -Identical. That says it all.

-They came for me after all. They're here.

Ohh! Ohh!

Detective Shepherd, please follow me.

-Butwhyis he dead?

-Well, that's a good question.

And when we find the offender, we will be asking them that.

Just as a matter of interest, where were you two this morning

between 3 and 5 a.m.?

-Asleep in my motel, missing all the action.

-Alone with your dreams, I guess.

-You got it. -Mm-hmm. And you, Christopher?

-Ripping up the sheets, eh, Chris?

-[Chuckles] Uh, yeah, I-I was with Zelda.

[Panting]

-Christopher, you are something out of this world.

-Yes. I was, uh, occupied.

-And stop pointing your finger atus.

They killed Luke.

They killed Luke because he was gonna reveal

top-secret intel today in his keynote speech!

He had proof that aliens live among us!

-When you say "they"... -You.

-They. Them. The SIS, CIA, FBI, governments.

Luke's blood is on their hands. Yourhands.

Every last one of them.

-Your overhead projector's on fire.

-Here's the original.

Luke's marking is exactly the same as the crop circle

the aliens made in 2010

at the music festival when I was abducted.

-And you were found in that circle?

-Yes.

Oh, my God. It's a message.

-Marking Luke with your design is saying they want you.

-Why would they kill him?

-Well, a miscalculation. Unintentional, I'm sure.

-Military assassination, more likely.

-Everyone's opinion is welcome. Down at the station.

-So, what were you guys doing at the golf course last night?

-Uh, I was in charge of the lighting and sound system.

-And playing the music. -Yeah, and playing the music.

[Synth music playing]

-Impressive. -Yeah.

I did grade-one piano as a kid. I know my way around the keys.

-It's not about how many notes. It's playing them with feeling.

-And staying awake.

-Oh, come on, bro. Too soon.

-Todd!

You had one job.

Look, playing score intergalactically

could be my big break.

Like, the biggest stage. Actually the biggest.

And it's still expanding.

-How well did you know the victim, Luke Lamaro?

-Uh, not at all. -No, but he was awesome.

-Yeah, yeah. Real nice guy. -Yeah, hanging in there

even after Zelda shut it down and sent us home.

-Yeah. So brave. Paid the ultimate price.

-For manandalien kind.

-Okay.

-I understand that Luke was some kind of offering

to attract the aliens?

-But not a sacrificial one.

Luc was to be abducted, just as I was,

to be used as an interspecies cultural exchange

before being returned to us safely.

-Was there anyone in your group,

perhaps Earth-based, shall we say,

who had any issues with Luke?

-Of course not. We were all rooting for him.

And we all wanted him to succeed.

-Did you and Luke get along?

-Sure. He's a believer.

A bit mainstream, but committed.

-You're very committed, too, aren't you, Kirk?

-I believe in alien life.

It's no crime.

-I didn't say it was.

Why didn'tyouvolunteer to be abducted?

-My time will come. Zelda has the connection.

She believed Luke was the one.

-How did that make you feel?

-Fine.

-Your relationship with Christopher Kramer.

-He's such a sweet man.

-Yet you didn't choose forhimto be abducted.

-He wasn't ready.

Christopher can be a little... anxious at times.

And the aliens seek constancy.

-Or maybe you were fearful of losing him.

-Why would I think that?

-Perhaps you knew that whoever went into that circle would die.

-How well did you get on with Luke?

-As well as I did with any of the other members.

-Do you know if he had any enemies?

Anyone he didn't get on with?

-No. Well, yes.

A-Actually, um, maybe.

-Is that multiple choice?

Do you have something you want to share?

-Do I want to know? No.

Should I? I don't know.

Will I? I mean, I could...

This has to stay between us.

-Well, that depends on whether or not

what you've got to say is any value.

If it's just more conspiracy theory,

then, sure, it won't go any further.

-No, it's not. -Really, Christopher?

Are you sure you're not just wasting my time?

-What I say and believe has value.

I am a fully integrated member of society.

-Then prove it. What do you know?

-So, I saw Luke and Kirk the other night arguing.

-About alien weaponry or...? -I don't - I don't know.

It - I couldn't make it out, but it was heated.

Intense.

-When was this?

-Three nights ago.

-Where?

-Here. Outside of the station.

-What were they doing? -[Indistinct shouting]

-Kirk had petrol.

He wanted to burn the station down,

and Lucas tried to stop him.

-And why would Kirk want to do that?

-Because he knows a lot.

-Every station has one. It's criminal.

-Like a scrambling device? -An electronic beacon.

It sprays the night sky to interfere

with extraterrestrial spacecraft.

-Police stations don't have those.

-I'm starting to wonder about you.

Are you committed or not?

-And you just happened to be across the road

while Kirk was trying to torch the place?

-Yes.

Doing my best to be a fully integrated member of society.

-There you go. 11:27 p.m. Three nights ago.

-So Chris Kramer was telling the truth.

-There's a first time for everything.

A witness claims that several nights ago,

you and Luke Lamaro

had an altercation outside this police station.

He was preventing you from committing arson.

-We have it on CCTV.

-So what? I didn't do it.

-But you were clearly very angry with Luke.

-Yeah. He stopped me from setting things right.

I know what goes on here.

I know you have an electronic beacon

on the roof of this building sending interference,

scrambling interplanetary communications.

That interference is probably

what caused the malfunction on the spacecraft,

which led to the death of Luke and the other guy.

It'syouwho are responsible.

-You're right, Kirk.

We do have an electronic beacon on the roof.

-Okay. You actually admit it.

-It's called a shortwave radio.

We use it in emergencies in a bid to help save lives.

You're gonna be charged with attempted arson.

-What?! I didn't do it!

-I think the key word here is "attempted."

I'll be back shortly with the paperwork.

Wow.

And I thought Chris Kramer was crazy.

-Hmm. We still don't have enough.

-Kirk and Luke would butt heads occasionally.

Differing opinions. But Kirk would never go that far.

Not to hurt Luke.

-Well, he was prepared to burn down the police station.

-Posturing, I'm sure.

-Uh, back to last night.

You called off the ceremony. Why?

-We were feeling the cold.

I'm guessing it was around 2 a.m.

-[Snoring]

-[Sighs] I fear I have failed you again.

-It's not your fault.

-Maybe it's Luke. He's just not ready.

-Everyone listen up!

Frodo, please.

[Music stops]

I think we should call it a night.

I apologize to you all.

I've led you all down another blind alley.

In this case, a cold, dark alley

without cosmic light.

Tomorrow I will resign as the president of AAPT.

-Zelda, you can't. -No. It's too late.

I'm too tired to talk.

Let's pack up and go.

-Wait, wait, wait. I'm staying.

I'm certain they're coming for me.

I'm happy to stay on my own.

-Oh, gosh, Luke. Your dedication is so moving.

I want you to take over for me.

You must lead AAPT from here.

-But you - -Shh.

Just think about it.

-I'll say a big [Speaks Alienese] to the masters from you.

-[Chuckles]

Thank you, Luke.

You are a hero.

Come on, people! Let's go!

-Ohh. -Ohh.

[Luke speaking in tongues]

-That was the last time I ever saw Luke.

I was so self-absorbed, I didn't even look back.

He was such a brave man.

-You and Christopher , you went home?

-Back to Christopher's. Yes.

[Phone buzzing]

-Excuse me.

Kristin Sims.

-Hi. It's Freya.

-I hope you didn't call me here just to help with these.

-I'm so over it.

-You know, washing dishes

is a little outside my job description.

-Lucky you.

-[Clears throat]

So...

-It could be nothing. -Try me.

-I was unloading the car just before.

-Need a hand there?

-Um, no, I'm all good.

-So, that thing the other day with your boss.

It's no biggie, right?

-Jacob's dead.

-I know, and it had nothing to do with me.

I didn't even know the guy.

-If you say so. -I do.

So are we all good?

-What did he mean by "that thing the other day"?

-Jacob used to park outside on the yellow lines.

He'd always get tickets.

Then a few days ago, he was getting towed, and it got ugly.

-You can't tow me, man!

This is my restaurant! I park here all the time!

Hey! Hey, you're a thug, you know that, mate?!

-[Grunts] You crossed the line, mate.

Don't ever start what you can't finish.

Just breathe. Breathe.

Don't ever grab someone from behind.

-[Grunts] -That was a dumb move.

-[Groans]

-It may be nothing, but - -No. Thanks, Freya.

You've been a big help.

Oh, and the dishes, uh, I would if I could.

Hi, Bud.

We need to talk.

You lied to me, Bud.

About not knowing Jacob Lewis.

We have a witness who saw you tow his car

from outside his burger restaurant.

So do you admit to towing Jacob Lewis' car?

-Yes. -And do you admit

to punching Mr. Lewis in the stomach?

-Do you know why I like my job?

-Tell me. -Because it's a job.

After my conviction, it was the only job I could get.

I need a job to pay my rent while I'm training.

I'm training to be a decathlete. That's my dream.

I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that.

-That doesn't really answer my question.

-Did the witness also say it was self-defense?

That Lewis had a go at me first?

Or nah? They left that part out?

-I'm going to ask you again.

The day before yesterday morning,

did you see Jacob Lewis between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m.

at the Brokenwood Golf Course?

-No.

-After you got the towing call-out,

which direction did you leave the course?

-Towards the car park, of course.

-If this is the car park...

where were you training?

-I don't know. I'm not a golfer.

I'm just looking for open space. You know?

-Jacob Lewis was found dead on the 13th fairway.

We know he was killed by a blow to the head,

the wound matching the curvature of your discus.

We know that you and the victim argued the day before.

Which leads us to believe there was some intent

behind the discus hitting Mr. Lewis.

-No. -Oh, come on, Bud.

You lost your cool. That had happened before.

-I video myself. -What?

-I film myself so I can watch my form.

There was a knee-pivot throw, by the way.

Felt right on the money.

And that's when I got the phone call.

[Phone rings]

-Hey ya, Bud. -Yeah.

-Free for a job? -Yeah. For sure.

[Indistinct conversation]

-It's on Tullamore. -I'll be there. Bye.

-Copy.

-We will need a copy of this video.

-The weapon could be a golf club,

but hard to say without the actual club to make a match.

-But the head injury was fatal.

-No, Mike.

The cause of death was cardiac arrest.

He suffered severe arrhythmia.

-Caused by?

-It was triggered by an electrical shock.

See?

This indicates the entry point of the electrical current.

-Given the storm last night,

could he have been struck by lightning?

-Highly unlikely.

For him to be struck by lightning bolt on both hands,

he must have been playing volleyball.

-Volleyball? -Like this or this.

I love volleyball. Have you ever played, Mike?

-Uh, not in a very long time.

Could Luke's hands and the grass

have been burned by the same source?

-No. A naked flame burned the grass.

-Mm.

And the mark on his head.

-Uh, freshly done. Within the last 18 hours.

The ink is marker pen.

Beach volleyball is my favorite.

The men wear swimming briefs.

In Russia, they are calledplavki.

-And they are...?

-Budgie smugglers, Mike.

Very athletic.

-That's it!

-68 meters!

-The tow-truck call-out center verified that Bud Johnson

received a call from them at 7:04 a.m.

-And his video puts him exactly here.

-He's our man.

-We're satisfied there was no intent

to injure Jacob Lewis.

-And I swear no one's that accurate.

68 meters? -At the point of contact, yes.

-Wow.

-I know. I looked it up.

Connor Bell's New Zealand record is 69.5 meters.

Repeat 68, and you'll qualify for the Commonwealth Games.

-I still killed a bloke, though, didn't I?

-It played out then.

-Death by a careless use

of an Olympic-approved sporting implement.

-One down, one to go. -Are we calling it?

-It's another homicide.

Luke Lamaro was electrocuted.

-Senior.

-Ah. Thanks.

Zelda Belfan's on her way in.

-Uh, do you perhaps need Christopher

as your support person?

-No, no. I'm fine.

We've been so shaken by Luke's death.

He's struggling, as well. I can tell.

And, uh...

I'm struggling to conceal it from him.

-What do you need to conceal?

-That, um...

...I'm responsible for Luke's death.

Both deaths in actuality.

-Go on.

-It started with a seed of negativity.

Depressive thoughts stemming

from the disappointment that I have been unable

to physically reconnect with the aliens.

And from that seed, there hasbeen slow but malignant growth.

That growth creates negative energy vibrations,

which in turn quaver out into the cosmos.

[Sighs] The rest I'm sure I don't need to explain.

-No. Uh, please enlighten us.

-Well, the aliens absorb those vibrations.

They involuntarily act upon them by traveling here,

creating a... interspecies co-killing

unwittingly orchestrated by myself.

[Breathes deeply]

They are the bullet.

But I am most definitely the gun.

-Well, it may come as some relief to know

that with regards to Jacob Lewis' death,

there was no alien involvement.

-You seem sure. -I am.

-Mr. Lewis was killed by an Earth-based object.

An accident.

-I detect cynicism, Detective,

and I thought we were past that.

-Not cynicism. A fact.

-And Luke?

-That is more perplexing.

-I left him out there like a lamb to the slaughter.

I lay awake trying to stop those negative vibrations emanating,

holding them back.

But to no avail.

-With Christopher? -What?

-You lay awake with Christopher?

-I didn't hear him.

-But you were in bed together.

-Did he tell you that?

-Awkwardly, yes.

-Uh, yeah, I-I was with Zelda.

[Moans]

Occupied.

-Christopher. Bless him.

-What do you mean?

-Well, Christopher is an interesting man,

but he's not ready for some things...

and nor am I, in that regard.

-Even though he's your fianc�?

-Christopher would liketo be my fianc�,

but, well, perhaps one day when we're both ready.

-I'm sorry. I'm confused.

-I'm still married.

I have been for 16 years.

-Ah, just the man we wanted to see.

-Well, I don't want to seeyou.

-Ah, Kirk, the feeling is entirely mutual.

We're not interested in you. You can bugger off.

-You can't say that. -I just did.

Go on. Get out of here.

-Uh, convention's finished.

W-We're holding a vigil for Luke tonight.

-A few questions first?

-Sure. Yeah. I'll just put this in the car.

-No, no. Questions first.

-Sure. Yeah. Um... Yeah, questions are good.

They - They provide answers. Like - Like, um...

How long's a piece of string?

-And what's in the box?

-No idea. It's not my box.

I'm just holding it for a friend.

-Oh, let's take a look then, shall we?

-Allow me.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Christopher!

-[Thud] -Car.

-You got nothing!

You can try, but you'll never take me down!

Unh!

-What was that last bit? I didn't quite hear you.

-This is your car, Christopher?

-No! [Grunts]

[Alarm chirps]

-No?

-[Grunts]

-[Sighs] Oh, Christopher.

-Sorry to keep you waiting, Christopher.

We just had to verify a few things.

[Door closes]

-[Clears throat]

This is the property of the Brokenwood Golf Course.

How'd it end up in your car?

-Never seen that before.

-Even though your fingerprints are all over it.

Strange.

This drop cloth...

and this golf club,

again the property of the Brokenwood Golf Club,

were also in your car.

How do you explain that?

-Obviously someone's broken into my vehicle

and put them both there.

-Who?

-I think it might be Kirk.

-Why would Kirk want to do that?

-Ask him. -We might just do that...

and, while we're at it, ask him how he managed

to get your fingerprints all over the items.

-But are they really?

-Uh, yep. There they are.

And the other interesting thing about this

is the, um - the grass residue.

-There is a pattern... here to here.

-It's like the grass has all been flattened

in the one direction.

-A flow from the outside to the center.

-Which in itself might mean very little, except...

-And this grass, it's a definite match

to the samples from the fake crop circle.

-That places this drop cloth at the crime scene.

-From now on, no more

extraterrestrial excuses, Christopher.

We're dealing in facts.

Your fingerprints on stolen items

traceable to the crime scene.

Did you kill Luke Lamaro?

-No.

-Christopher, where were you between 3 and 5 a.m.

this morning?

-In my home. -Alone?

-No. I was with, you know, Zelda.

-In the same room or separate?

-The same room. -In the bedroom?

-Yes. Of course. -Was she sleeping?

-Why does that matter?

-Well, if she was sleeping, she wouldn't be able to verify

that you remained in the house between 3 and 5 a.m.

-She was not sleeping.

-Are you sure about that?

-Yes. Of course.

Because we were...

You know.

-What?

-We were...expressing our love.

-Sex?

-Yeah. -For two hours?

-Yes. Two hours.

-Wow. That's a lot of love.

Given you had such a big night waiting

for a close encounter with alien kind.

-Well, she was feeling down,

and she, um - she needed comfort.

-The thing is, Christopher, that doesn't really line up

with Zelda's version of events.

-I'm still married.

-Married to...?

-When I was abducted aboard the alien spacecraft,

there was a marriage ceremony.

Sadly, we didn't have time to consummate.

So I have been keeping myself ready for that day.

So, uh, no. Um...

Christopher and I are in a platonic relationship.

And to make things easier on Christopher,

we do not share a bed.

-They - They will come for him.

-I'm not so sure anymore.

Good night.

-Good night.

-So if in between 3 and 5 a.m.,

you weren't comforting

your almost, but not quite yet fianc�e

with two hours of your... manhood,

then what were you doing?

-Let me jog your memory.

You were feeling overlooked.

-Can I please have a volunteer

to offer themselves up as an abductee?

Oh, Christopher. No. Sorry. We already have a volunteer.

We don't want the cosmic overlords to have to choose

between the two of you.

-As Zelda's most devoted follower,

that must have hurt you a little,

her choosing Luke over you.

-[Speaking in tongues]

-Teaching him Alienese.

Favoring him over you.

-I want you to take over for me.

You must lead AAPT from here.

-But you - -Shh.

Just think about it.

[Thunder crashes]

Luke, you are the chosen one.

[Speaking in tongues]

[Thunder crashes]

-So even with Zelda lying awake,

the fact that you didn't share a room

meant that you were able to slip out of the house.

Into the greenkeeper's shed,

where you knew a flamethrower was kept

and any number of potentially lethal weapons.

-? Well, it ain't a carnation, but the flower was red ?

? I followed him down like the message had said ?

? And left it all to Junior, who was soft in the head ?

? Singing only the good die young ?

? Ohh ?

? Do I just have to let it go? ?

? Ohh ?

? Do I just have to tell him no? ?

[Thunder crashes]

-What better way to validate Zelda's beliefs...

...and remove your competition?

But it didn't kill him, did it, Christopher?

That blow. Didn't kill him, did it?

-No.

I, uh, had to make it look like they'd been to visit.

-My cousin and master.

[Electricity crackling]

? You gotta chose yourself a hat for your sizeable head ?

? And choose another lover for that side of the bed ?

? Or stay out and never go home ?

-Pesky gloves.

-? Ohh ?

? Do I have to tell him no? ?

? Ooh ?

-Pesky gloves.

-? Do I just have to let it go? ?

-Pesky, pesky gloves.

-? Ooh ?

? Do I just have to let it go? ?

? Ooh ?

? Do I just have to tell him no? ?

? Hmm ?

? Ohh ?

-What does this mean?

-It means you killed Luke Lamaro to impress your girlfriend.

-I'm no longer a fully integrated member of society...

am I?

-Not tempted, Todd?

-No.

-You've put in the hard yards, though.

-No way. You never know what you'll find out there.

-For the record, I hate golf.

-But beach volleyball, Mike.

I really think you'd be a natural.

-I don't know what it is with this dog.

Keeps circling back to these burgers.

-I'll have the Triple Truffle Supreme.

-I'm rather hoping you still offer

the Holy Sinner Double Cheese.

-With feta and beetroot fondue?

Coming right up.

-Marvelous. -Yummy.

-Oh, God. I so love pigs.

And cats, of course, as you can see.

But pigs, they're the cutest thing!

-Mm. Interesting fact.

If you died and fell into his pen,

he'd eat all of you, over time,

leaving only your teeth and your hair.

Pigs don't eat hair, lovely as yours is.

-Oh. Okay. That is...interesting.

-As promised.

-Oh, you took your time.

-Well, since Jacob Lewis is no longer with us,

no charges will be laid.

-I should hope not.

-Truffles still on the menu there, I see.

-Eh, seems like a nice girl. Deserves a break.

Doesn't strike me as a lurker.

-Mm. -Speaking of which,

where's your offsider? -Detective Sims?

Yeah, she should be here.

Right about now.

[Cheers and applause]

-Hoo-hoo! -Oh!

[Cheers and applause]

-? Standing on the corner way down here ?

? Watching the days go by ?

? Gotta pick up the thread somewhere ?

? Follow it to the end of the line ?

? Follow it to the end of the line ?

-We come in peace, Earthlings.

-? There's a thousand faces on the street ?

-[Chatter] -Detective Sims!

-Ow!

-? Tell me where the dusty road is ?

? Rock 'n' roll... ?

? Rock 'n' roll... ?

-Perfect.

-[Mouths words]

-You.

-What?! Hey!

-? No time like the right time ?

? And the right time is here ?

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