Original subtitles

Do you want to come cruising with me? Good.

Don't be afraid if I take you to public lavatories or baths.

You see, I like men. I'm thirty and a teacher by profession.

Otherwise, I'm your normal, jaded...

...neurotic, polymorphously perverse teacher.

I radically separate my job from my private life and pleasures.

I go to the weekly teachers'bowling night, visit a woman colleague.

That's really all I have to do with them.

For Christmas my parents send me underwear, socks and towels.

My father's heart is bad and mother's ratheroverwrought.

They refuse to discuss my very special relationship with men.

TAXI TO THE TOILETS

But that's my paper!

I've borrowed it. I've locked myself out. I must use your balcony.

I won't have you naked on my balcony.

The teacher scolds Klaus.

"Klaus, your work is worst of all.

"You get an 'F'".

Full?

Yes, make it snappy.

Scenario and direction.

- How about oil? - Check it.

You need an oil change.

If I break down, can I ring you?

- Good morning, children! - Good morning, Herr Ripploh!

Please excuse me for being late.

Everything went wrong this morning.

Something really stupid happened.

I went out to get my paper from the stairs and my door slammed shut.

Now I'll act out what I did.

I was standing outside the door.

What did I do? Siegfried.

You got the paper, then you turned and saw the door had shut.

You thought a bit, then asked if you could climb over the balcony.

You looked down. It was very high. You climbed over.

You worked that out very well.

And now: When have you been lucky and unlucky?

That was the homework for today.

Let's hear what you've written in your exercise books.

Who'll begin on this side of class?

Godana, read your essay. The rest of you keep quiet.

On the way home yesterday Bernd and I quarrelled; he called me stupid.

I pushed him, he fell down and hit his head.

It didn't bleed, but he went pale, it gave me quite a scare.

It could have been bad, but we were lucky.

Who on this side has written about being unlucky?

Mother let me stay overnight at my friend Anja's.

She gave me a toothmug with my name on it.

Brushing my teeth...

...I noticed that the toothpaste was very bitter

WHAT TURNS YOU ON?

EVERYTHING

Shithead!

Shit!

My kids will kick up if they don't get theirdictations back.

Let's hope I can keep them quiet.

This will be quite a week.

What's on Monday?

Oh, that damn Chile Solidarity meeting

I'm not going. I'd sooner go to the baths.

Supposed to be a new bar there, very cruisy, with an "action room"

That's a must.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday... nothing's booked yet.

Bowling night!

I'm so tired, but if I really have to...

Klaus Schnee: Latin

Bernd Kr�ger: Geography

All this fuss; parent-student participation doesn't work.

Those high-falutin parents should try teaching.

Markus Voigtl�nder: German

I really like Karin.

She's approachable. Have a go.

But I haven't the nerve.

I know you, your affairs last only three days.

With Karen it can work. She looks loose, but she isn't.

Actually, she's very genuine.

You ruin them all.

Friends call me Peggy: Sexual Ethics

Irmgard Lademacher: English

I'd rather not drink. I don't want a reaction like last time.

Think you'll get over your chronic problems?

- I don't think so. - Neither do I.

Gregor Becker: Physics and Chemistry.

Miss Marguerite Dupont: French.

What's the story about your neighbour?

I'm getting to know him.

Is he engaged?

No, I'd know. I've never noticed a woman there.

- What did I tell you? - Only men visitors.

In summer the windows are open, aren't they?

Our Herr Ripploh receives men only; no woman groans like that.

You don't believe me?

Eberhard Freudenthal: Religion.

Irmgard, have you seen Jesus Christ, Superstar?

I did see it long ago, I can't remember it much.

It's great how the young people in the film were led to faith...

...because, after all, this is an undirected age...

...in which we are living.

That reminds me of English teaching.

You can't imagine the problems when teaching children a foreign language.

For example, they confuse "a" and "an" and they come out as "uh".

Beate Springer: Physical Education.

Listen, do you know why Ayatolla Khomeni has his pubic hairs shaved?

To show his great balls. (A pun: Eiertoller - Ayatolla)

You lot, it's Irmchen's birthday!

I haven't forgotten, even if you have.

We're all going to heaven.

Because we are so good.

It's mother's birthday soon.

What can I give her?

She always gives me the same things. I'll give her a telephone cover.

That's a good idea. She'll love that.

What do you want? The last show's on.

It's nearly over.

I thought you had a late show at eleven.

Not weekdays. The programme's printed correctly this week.

That's just great!

Sometimes they make mistakes, but not this week.

I'm sorry.

Can I still get a cup of coffee?

- Chocolate, or something? - Maybe there's still some coffee.

I see the coffee's all gone. Sorry.

- How much is this, then? - That's eighty pfennigs.

- But I've only got seventy. - Never mind, what's ten pfennigs?

It's closing time, anyway.

- All the best, then. - Same to you.

Which way are you going?

Where shall I drop you off?

I think the underground's stopped now.

Stop at any bar.

I need whatever warm drink they have; my stove's broken.

- Where do you live? - Towards Kreuzberg.

The usual basics: No bath, toilet on the landing.

But it's cheap.

What's the rent?

59.58 marks.

You can drink tea at my place.

That would be nice. I'd like that. Can I have a bath, too?

Help!

Please let me in!

What's the matter with you?

Please help me.

It's all right, just calm down. Come inside.

Come and sit down in the kitchen, for heaven's sake.

Look at you. What a mess. What's happened?

How can I help you?

I'm sorry to bother you.

No need to feel sorry.

I'll try to help, of course, but you must tell me what's wrong.

Someone tried to beat me up... for no reason.

Who is "someone"? Your husband?

Not someone... what do you mean? Not husband... I don't know.

He's someone I live with

Turning up like this at midnight, I'm sorry for you, but...

I'm sorry to have bothered you.

Never mind. Is there anyone I can call for you?

- The police? - No, please, not the police.

But that's what they're for.

No, please don't.

Bernd, come here. This girl has been beaten up.

Can't we put her in the other room? Isn't there an inflatable mattress?

What do you think?

It's impossible... I just can't...

I suggest you have a wash, then we'll see what can be done.

Straight ahead, on the right.

Just say if you need anything and I'll find it for you.

You want to let her sleep here?

Well, why not? You can let someone spend the night here.

My God, I wouldn't sleep a wink. She's doped up, she's rambling.

Can't you see what's behind all this?

He'll break in, swinging punches, then we're all in it. No thanks.

Call information, that's the best way to handle it.

Information desk 14.

I have a little problem here.

A woman has turned up who obviously needs help.

I've heard there are some places one can turn to...

This is long distance information. You need the police or Samaritans.

But there's some sort of refuge I've heard of

Where women can find shelter from violent husbands

A place for women harassed by men?

Hold on, I'll ask my colleague.

I've been given information...

...about a place called the Berlin Women's House.

I'll find the number if you think that's it.

Please take this number down.

I'm sure they'll help you there, it's their job.

Now I think we've all earned a drink, don't you?

I've called a taxi. Put this on.

Just bring the coat back some time.

Here's the taxi.

Take care.

Is that meant to be a heart?

It's so beautiful here. It would be great to live here for ever.

But, Bernd, just think how expensive the land is out here.

It doesn't have to be here exactly.

There's something in Hitzacker.

There was an ad in the paper.

A farmhouse with a little land.

We could...

How are you going to pay for it?

I've some money in the building society. I know some people...

As a civil servant, you'd get a grant.

I'm to subsidize you?

You come along; you can be a village schoolteacher.

But I moved to work in the city, not rot away as a village teacher.

Yes, but surely you don't want to stay in the city for ever...

...all that bad air.

What's so appealing about Hitzacker?

Nature. We could be self-supporting.

Grow vegetables, raise animals.

Fresh eggs daily.

And when we're an old, retired gay couple, with our lesbian cook...

...we can adopt a mongoloid kid and write on the door: "Beware of the dog".

You always have to mock everything.

Now get a footstool.

Place it so that you canjump over it from side to side.

We must always look down, of course...

...so we jump over it neatly.

That's torture.

RIAS Magazine. Today: Consumer Studio

Annette Pfeiffer answers your questions.

Today we'll take a close look at the individual parts of the body.

As you see, we can remove them.

What's this, Heike?

Ribs.

Right, from the front, but what's behind the ribs?

The heart.

The lungs.

Don't you answer, Ralf.

Pass it along so the others can see it.

Now we'll give the other ribs to Olaf to pass round.

What am I taking from the middle?

- Anja? - The heart.

And now a very important organ that lies beneath the rib cage.

Liver.

- What does the liver do? - It cleans the blood.

Like a filter plant purifies dirty water.

Here's a part...

...that gives us trouble: The stomach and...

Large intestine.

Why does it sometimes give us trouble? Who knows?

If it's bunged up...

- What then? - It doesn't come out.

What doesn't come out?

Why does it give us trouble?

Pfeiffer here. Good morning.

Good morning, Frau Pfeiffer. My daughter bought a T-shirt.

She wears it often, especially in the evenings...

...because the motif glows in the dark.

Doesn't this glowing...

...emit hazardous radiation?

No, I've checked...

...with Neu-Herberg, the Institute for Radiation Research.

They've told me...

...that in general...

...such radiation is not hazardous.

It's so low, there is no cause for alarm.

- This big organ? - The liver.

- This big organ? - The liver.

- What beats so loud? - The heart.

Yes, Godana?

A question.

Father looked at my dictation book yesterday...

...and there's the number

He thought it meant to call you, but some man answered and hung up.

I'll call your dad and clear up the misunderstanding.

I've tried to call you, but your phone's always busy.

Sabine keeps getting "F" marks. Something's wrong.

Either she's stupid or you're a bad teacher.

Frau Lost�ter, some children get "A".

I have the feeling that your daughter is...

...a bit weak all round, in other subjects, too.

How do you account for that, as her mother?

Well, it's like this. Sabine's no worse than the other kids.

She's only nervous at school. At home you'd see that she really works.

I can't watch her all the time.

I have my business to attend to. Sometimes I give her a Valium, but...

Have you thought of sending her away?

I mean, we have a children's camp here in Berlin.

That's all well and good, but I have seven kids and a garden nursery.

I haven't the resources, it's that simple.

Look, family assistance is there to help you with that.

I don't want to hear about it, I'm glad they don't come into the house.

Then I don't see how I can help you.

Do you like flowers?

I mean, life's give and take, scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

You send me a copy of a dictation.

The difficult words, I mean.

I'll coach her and you can have a lush balcony in summer.

Processing. Please wait.

Second floor, right.

When I take a walk in the street...

...it's an adventure for me, things can happen; try it yourself some time.

Do you know how they used to deal with infidelity?

What do you mean "used to"? I can't stand such...

- Drowned them. - That's great.

Times are changing.

Thank God! You act as though it's the Middle Ages.

I don't want to be Mr Average, I'm sick of such discussions.

You could at least have said something.

Join in next time. Understand?

What does Bernd expect from a live-in relationship?

Our sex isn't that exciting any more.

Either I'm too eager or he's too shy.

But I love him, that's the most important thing.

Why do I always clearout when they're nice and cosy?

I can't exist alone.

But can I force myself to become a faithful and true lover?

The main thing is that Bernd shouldn't leave me.

That would be horrible.

When I'm old, will I still be so restless?

I hope my pension will run to a scrumptious rent boy.

But I'm afraid of becoming...

...an old fag who hangs out in bogs.

I hope I didn't catch anything from that guy.

For days I've had a strong discharge, so yellow and slimy.

I have to change my panties two or three times a day.

My doctor sent me here to see this skin specialist.

I'm a bit scared.

It's no wonder with my job.

I'm a party girl at the Phantom Bar. Know it?

Don't they advertise a "Live-Show"?

Yes. Thirty marks: Lick, blow job, fuck...

I read about it. And you have to...

Of course. People come in and they like a blow job without a rubber.

I don't have to, but the money... it's more without a rubber.

So it could be that I've caught something.

- What sort of men come in? - All sorts.

Listen, I had one recently, I'm telling you...

...it still gives me the creeps to think of it.

He ordered a bottle of champagne and we go into the private room.

Suddenly, he emptied a plastic bag of pig's blood over me, imagine!

Then he wanted me to give him a blow job without a rubber.

Come along, Piccolo, we're leaving.

Of course, I didn't do it, I was nauseated.

Another guy took off his classy suit...

...took his prick out and these little ringlets...

Herr Ripploh, please.

Maybe later...

My God, how long must I wait?

Please lift your scrotum.

Yes, there are small wart-like formations...

...which could also grow in the colon.

They're viral infections of the mucous membrane.

Now I will probe with my finger.

They can be spread by anal intercourse.

Did that hurt a little? I think I can feel some inside.

Nurse, give me the proctoscope.

This allows us to look inside the colon.

Is that to go in? Nurse, doesn't it hurt?

You see, nothing to it.

Bernd, this is my bosom buddy, Wally.

Bernd, this is my bosom buddy, Wally.

Bernd, be so sweet as to hang up the coat.

A nice lad. Good looking. I like him.

Peggy, things aren't so simple any more, so problem-free.

I find one should be content with a little happiness at home.

It's lovely, be happy. Enjoy it while you can.

But what interests me is: Which of you two... what's the configuration?

You mean, who fucks whom?

Exactly. You?

Wally, it doesn't matter. Tell me about yourself.

Peggy, I'm so upset. I'm debating whether to move out, it's too much.

Nothing but foreigners in there now. The rubbish bins... a catastrophe.

I simply won't have it.

When I moved in, it was a nice, tidy place.

Now it's unbearable, just impossible.

Otherwise, I'm well, I have my own circle.

But you're still living in that small place?

One and a half rooms is enough for me.

Am I dreaming? Whipped cream and cakes? Is this how you live?

Only when you visit. It becomes you.

I just love it, but I really have to be careful about my liver.

- A little cup of coffee can't hurt - Are you a hypochondriac, too?

Freshly ground? I can't stand instant coffee.

Dear God, it's a real dream here.

That'll be my pupil.

- Should I sit in the corner? - Sit at the kitchen table.

Get out your books. Where shall we start?

How was dictation today?

Is Peggy really the more active of you two?

You really want it spelled out.

It interests me.

- Active? On top? Underneath? - You know: Do you alternate?

- Are you making a pass at me? - You're not unattractive.

You get to the point. Perhaps I can show you a thing or two.

Such as?

Peggy's brought something from school, a film they show there.

You'll show me a film?

Well, if you've no better ideas.

Dictation for Grades 5 to 10.

I'll dictate one sentence at a time.

Heading: Caring for the fawn.

Christian and his stamp-collector friend.

Does Peggy tutor at home because she needs the money?

Surely she earns enough as a teacher.

His film-making hobby is expensive.

Peggy always had expensive tastes. Look, isn't that old street lovely?

Christian, how was school today?

It was all right.

I've some rare stamps to show you. Come and see this afternoon.

About three o'clock.

It's just between us.

You can't do that with such a child.

Today's educational films!

- Where are you going, Christian? - To swap stamps.

They showed us different films in biology class.

Do you think that's right? I don't.

Look what I brought you.

Holger, dear, they look very nice. What are they?

Soldiers.

Put them away now, it's time to work.

Look, that's what I meant.

A present.

How about if I give you one and we do one or two sentences less?

I've told you we'll stop early today.

No problem when it's for you.

That's what they're like, you can tell by their hair.

Cautiously the forest ranger approaches the baby animal.

Perhaps in return you could be a little nice to me.

What do you mean?

I'll show you.

My God, must you mimic everything?

We're very nice to each other. You understand?

Holger, concentrate, this won't do.

Can't we play horsey? I'll sit here.

Men can be tenderto each other.

Enough. Full steam ahead. Pay attention.

We'll sit on the sofa.

When we adults do that, it's something different.

It's free will, free choice one might say.

Isn't that nice?

You touch me.

- I don't want to. - It isn't so bad.

If you say anything, we'll both be locked up.

Go to prison, understand?

Quivering, a fawn stood beside its dead mother.

But what's happened?

God, the mother!

Now this poor mother has to deal with it.

Nothing, Mummy. I'm not to tell. Herr Burkhard...

He did something with me.

I wouldn't like to be in her shoes.

How would you apply yourconcept of discipline and order?

First, given that I'd be in government...

...I'd set up work and land units for unemployed youth.

Land units above all...

...since the numberof farmers is falling in ourcountry.

Bernd, come and listen to this Neo-Nazi rubbish.

Layabouts will be put in the army.

I'd introduce the death penalty for sex offenders...

...fortraitors, for hostage-takers.

I'd set up a work camp for anti-social types and homosexuals.

A work and re-education camp.

Practically the first step for any country must be...

...to create ideals for young people...

...and this country has absolutely no ideals to offer.

What will these ideals be?

Forexample, love of country.

If you can choose, go for a really big one, right, Zsa-Zsa?

Bernd, where's that little box the acid is in?

I've no idea.

Everything disappears in this house.

Don't wait up, I'll be late.

Bye.

Not too close, Bernd, I'm contagious.

That looks really nasty.

The morning round scared me; the procession of head nurse, doctors...

...they read out my liver counts...

...blood, GBT, Gammaglobulin or whatever... it's still over 1,000.

Is that a lot?

I'll probably be here for another six weeks or so.

Six weeks.

This place is driving me crazy.

The first cleaner comes in at six and shoves the beds around.

Then they serve some kind of porridge. It's all go.

Six is luxury.

Anywhere else they wake you at two, because of staff shortages.

The whole atmosphere... with that patient there...

...he snores and grunts and pukes all night.

Can't you talk the head doctor into letting you take me home?

I've never seen him. What do you expect? You're a third class patient.

You get the students, fresh from college, only worked with models.

They have to learn. Forget about head doctors.

If you'd gone comprehensive...

I kept telling you to take out comprehensive insurance...

...then the best doctors and specialists would be standing here.

Have you come here just to tell me what I should have done?

What did you do? Just run around in all sorts of bars, in parks...

It's your own fault.

I hope lying here teaches you something.

I'll see you on Sunday, the next visiting day.

I'm interested in a trip to Caprivi.

No, that's Capri, in Italy. I want Caprivi.

Just a moment.

Formally German South-West Africa. A fine patriot you are.

It's not in our catalogue.

- Where to? - The Victory Column.

A wedding trip? A honeymoon?

I'm going with a friend.

Oh, a study trip.

A sort of combination. It should be relaxing

A hotel on the beach or in the city?

On the beach, so you can see the ocean.

A hotel with a sea view?

Here's a nice one, near a beach.

Take an upper floor for a sea view.

- It looks nice. - I'll work out the cost.

Three bodies ripped from coffins.

- One week or two? - Two.

Half or full board, or just bed and breakfast?

It's so hot there, you wouldn't want to eat during the day. Half board.

Two weeks, then.

Barbados, two weeks, half board for two, 2,872 marks.

Half board includes a meal.

Does it include any trips? An evening drink at the bar?

No, you must take spending money.

That would mean another thousand marks.

You have half board, breakfast and one meal.

Germany's not so bad, either, is it?

How was your day?

Shitty bureaucrats, I'm sick of them.

Just try this.

Clear off, I don't want to taste your sauce.

I took a lot of trouble over it.

- I don't want your sauce. - Then I'll have it.

Do you think others don't take trouble? I do, all day.

Must you always do that, when I've made it look so nice?

It's a treat for the eye, too.

Can't one fish a mandarin...

...out of one's own dessert?

Which part would you like?

You'll soon see. I'll take something.

My God, after I took so much trouble.

That's what drives me nuts: You always take so much trouble.

I don't see many people because of you, being holed up here...

...and you fatten me up like a pig.

Then I won't cook anything.

Bernd, stopping cooking isn't the point...

...it's the set pattern in which you greet me and treat me every night.

I'll decide when I come, eat and go.

A relationship must have some order, can't you understand that?

For me, it's not something ordered.

I want to decide when I feel like seeing you, not checking in and out.

It's really disgusting. Should I phone ahead?

Then eat it by yourself.

The oil change.

Coming with me?

I'd love to, but I have a meeting at school.

- I'll write down my address. - In full.

Phone number's still the same?

But you wanted to give me the address.

The women who fascinate me and make me take notice...

...are the dominatrix types.

With big tits, leathercorsets, brandishing whips.

Orcrazy ones.

They're amusing.

But sexually they're foreign to me.

Especially the female sex organ; a sort of trauma for me.

I find it really repulsive.

I can't cope with it.

Such a labyrinth.

No, thanks. I'd rather... Oh, yes, coffee at Irmchen's.

Such strife is exhausting. You know from your own experience.

I think you have a real love problem.

Yes, it's not pleasant. What was it like for you?

At first I also found it awful.

When my boyfriend comes to see me, I'm so happy on the first day.

On the second day...

...I'm proud to walk with him, I think I'm not so abnormal...

...but just like everyone else.

On the third day it's not so good; I'd rather be walking alone.

You have to adapt to him, then when he's gone I'm so pleased...

...I could sing all day, alone again.

Irmchen, this furniture... isn't it very expensive now?

Well, I had to save up.

It cost 25,000 marks, not really expensive, it's manageable.

So much, for a room like this?

- Expensive, but we can afford it - Yes, as civil servants.

This lamp matches the curtains. How did you do it?

I wasn't sure if the colour would match.

Maybe the shade is a bit lighter...

...but the fringe is exactly the same colour.

Yes, I'm pleased they harmonize.

Have you decided where to go?

I thought I'd go to Morocco, I've never been there.

I've heard much about it. It should be interesting, another world.

Queens'Ball! Queens'Ball!

Queens'Ball is but once a year.

Don't ask about tomorrow.

Better kissed today than never. Do it once again at Queens'Ball.

- Is Romy Haag here, too? - I don't think so.

- So many straights here. - Things used to be nicer.

Do you work in the night world? What do you do?

Work during the day, dress up at night.

Lovely. I thought of shaving off my beard, but then I couldn't do it.

- Did you make the dress yourself? - No, I have everything done.

- Who made it for you? - A good seamstress.

- Are you here with a date? - Today I'm solo. And you?

I have a swarm around me, but I still have to choose.

What do you do for a living?

Groom horses.

Where? In Gatow? Are you a stable boy?

Any other nice stable boys here?

Some, yes.

- Do they know you're gay? - No. I think I'd lose my job.

- How long have you been there? - A couple of years.

Have you a phone? Where do you live?

Charlottenburg.

Let's have some champagne and exchange addresses.

- What do you do? - I'm a schoolteacher.

- You're a teacher? - We can't all be stable boys.

Who would have thought it?

I see a teacher as being more upright.

They won't know I come here.

Bernd, wait a minute.

I'm coming with you.

What's the rush? How stupid.

Just tell me why you're in such a hurry.

You stand around all evening, just watching me, now you rush home.

What am I to do at the shitty ball? Watch you run after stable boys?

Can't you think of anything but your stupid jealousy?

Can't you meet people and have a little fun?

I'm not interested. Now I'm going to do what I want.

You're not interested in anything, you're a totally boring wallflower.

You pester me like a fly. Am I to run around all night with you?

Can't you do something constructive? All you do is complain.

I'm not interested in the shitty ball. I'm going to do what I want.

Then do it, by yourself.

I will.

Kiss my arse.

Won't you come to my place?

A little champagne, cocaine and bed.

Gladly, if it were only champagne and cocaine.

But my pupils are in class, waiting for me.

I really can't.

Let's roll for it. Even, you go. Odd, you come.

- Good morning, children! - Good morning, Herr Ripploh!

Where have you come from?

Where's your prince?

- Has the Head seen you? - Not yet, thank God.

It suits you.

Women don't have beards.

Did you have a nice night?

Very, although it went on too long, right up until now.

I hadn't time to sleep. I thought: Should I go to school like this?

Then I came here.

Now we'll do something different. You should have fun, too.

One for each of you.

Each has six possibilities.

Write on the paper I'm giving you...

...the six things you'd most like to do right now...

...forgetting that we've a Head, school rules, teachers...

You roll. Make a list from one to six: First this, then that...

Then we'll throw the dice. I rolled a one, so I go first.

We'll distribute the cards.

- What are you doing there? - I only want to cuddle the lamb.

What wishes have you made?

First: To rip the veil from your head.

- Beat up everybody - Paint on the blackboard.

- Be the best. - Yell "shit!"

- Make a row. - Squirt ink on the walls.

- Stick my finger in a wall socket. - Break things.

- Beat up teacher. - Tear the picture.

- Cut holes in the sweater. - Celebrate carnival.

Now roll, and you have the chance to do what the dice number decides.

What wishes...

...would I make forthe dice?

Shall I write to Bernd? Give it one more chance?

Buy the farm with him?

That probably wouldn't work.

Should we both kill ourselves? That's too dramatic.

Can we do anything but simply repeat ourselves?

Extracts from the film Christian and his stamp-collectorfriend.