Original subtitles

Where the hell are you?

I'm gonna beat your little ass if you don't get out here.

I've gone over this for two days. I don't remember anything.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Look what I got for you.

Go away.

Go away.

Go away!

Can you tell me about Jeremy Dorian?

Where did you two meet?

I don't wanna talk about Jeremy.

Why are you guys doing this to me?

Why am I still here?

Is he your boyfriend?

Again, my name is Dr. Carter Moore.

You waived your right to an attorney and I'm just here to speak with you.

I honestly don't remember anything.

That's alright.

Let's just start at the beginning.

- Nope. Into older guys. No games. - So what's your story? Single?

Yeah. I'm just a typical guy.

I like art, movies, museums, paintings that sorta stuff. I'm Caleb.

Jeremy. Nice to meet you.

We haven't yet.

Then let's work on that.

- It's a date. - It's coffee. Lol

Hahaha. See you tomorrow.

Jeremy?

Thank you. Oh. You shouldn't have.

Come on in.

So how long have you worked here?

About three years.

It's alright.

It keeps me out of trouble.

Trouble?

What kind of trouble?

Thank you for the flowers by the way.

A gentlemen always brings flowers on a first date.

Oh wait sorry. It's not a date, it's coffee.

I'm not used to guys being so nice to me.

Oh, come on. That is hard to believe.

No one's ever got me flowers before.

Well, I did.

You did.

Oh my God...

why am I so nervous?

I guess I don't get out much.

That's impossible.

You're beautiful.

Thank you.

God.

You're shaking.

Why?

Can I kiss you?

I wanna feel you inside me.

Okay.

Shhh...

Not now. Not now.

Please stop.

Not right now.

I thought you would never come.

I'm so pleased you did.

I didn't know you wanted me to.

It took some homework trying to find you.

Caleb. My boy.

My baby boy Caleb, look at you. You have grown to be such a big boy.

Why do you cover up your hair like that?

- You have such a nice head of hair. - Mom.

Just like me. Not like your father.

Like me.

Caleb. My boy Caleb.

Where have you been?

You left me mom.

Gave me up.

I'm here now. You've come home.

Cale.

Cale.

Caleb?

Cale, you awake?

There's something I wanna tell you.

When I woke up, He was gone.

How did that make you feel?

Abandoned. Alone. How would that make you feel?

I've listened to everything everyone has said. I just want to go home.

Caleb. You can't go home.

We need to find out what happened.

I don't know where it came from.

Can I help you?

How are you?

What can I get you?

A cappuccino. No whip.

So how are you?

What's that?

How are you?

Busy.

It's good to see you.

What else can I get you?

Did I do something wrong?

Yeah, as a matter of fact you did.

You left.

No note. No phone number.

Nothing.

That was three days ago.

I'm sorry.

That's why I'm here.

Caleb.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to make you this upset.

I knew I'd see you again.

Yeah, well I didn't.

Have dinner with me.

Okay.

- But let me make this better. - Please!

This has got to be the best Chinese food I've ever had.

Yeah?

I thought sitting by the fireplace would be... kinda romantic.

Yeah, I really love your place.

Thanks. So do I.

It was left to me when my mom died.

Umm... sorry to hear that. How did she die?

Leukemia.

She wasn't my real mom.

I just call her that because she was the closest thing.

I don't know my real dad either.

I was adopted.

I spent most of my childhood in foster care.

You know, in and out, in and out.

I guess you could say I was a little troubled one.

Yeah, seriously.

And then I met this older couple, Karen and Bill.

Gave me a stable home.

They knew I was gay from the beginning. No problem with it. They were really cool.

Long story short, Karen caught Bill cheating and she kicked him out.

Shortly thereafter she was diagnosed with leukemia.

And two days before my seventeenth birthday she died.

They let me back here when I was eighteen.

By leaving me this place she made sure I'd always have a home.

And you, mister, are very brave.

I think that all that stuff that you've gone through...

has made you into the man you are today.

I guess.

Why are you so nice to me?

Because I like you.

You're sweet. You're open. You're honest.

I... never met anybody like you before.

I never told anyone that stuff before.

Well, I'm glad you did.

Now... you ready for dessert?

Hell yeah.

Scoop! Not that much. Pick that up.

Damn! That's good, that's good, that's good.

- I can't eat all that. - What are you talking about?

Alright. A little more, a little more.

- More? - No.

So what is it with all these horses?

Childhood fantasy.

I love horses.

This one...

I've had since I was... four, I think.

It's my favorite.

I've been collecting since... Oh god, my entire life.

My one constant...

I used to hide, you know...

Hide in my closet..

and sit with this one and hope and pray that one day he would come to life...

and just take me away from all the hell that I was living.

You ever ride one?

A few times... in Vermont.

Well we should go.

To Vermont?

No nimrod. Horseback riding.

You'd do that with me?

Yeah.

You do realize this is disgusting, don't you?

Oh, come on leave poor Hermie alone.

You know there's only one thing I hate in this world

and it is nasty hairy spiders.

Oh, come on he's only a little bit poisonous.

Don't tap the glass!

I mean, couldn't you settle for like a dog or a cat?

No, I don't like yappy little Paris Hilton dogs

and lord knows I ain't into pussy.

What does one do with a spider anyway?

I mean, you can't... you can't take them out and play with them.

Sure you can.

I take him out all the time. I let him roll all over me.

Remind me not to be here when you do that.

Aaah!!

Fuck!

You ass!

You sure you don't wanna hold him?

No! I would shit myself. Twice.

Oh god...

Come on you big baby.

Don't tap the glass!

I could stay like this forever.

Me too.

Tell me something about you that nobody else knows.

I take Lipitor.

I knew you were old.

No, seriously.

I want to know everything about you.

Okay.

I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic.

I've been sober for 15 years.

No shit.

I call it a gift that my alcoholic mother never got.

- She's not alive? - No.

She died when I was twenty-three.

From drinking?

She was in reharb, and then she went to a halfway house.

She wanted out. She came to live with me.

I couldn't take it anymore.

What happened?

They found her body submerged in the bath tub after the whole house flooded.

And for the longest time I didn't know if she drowned or...

drank herself to death.

I'm so sorry.

And you know, that didn't even stop me.

I kept using for years and...

I just finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So there you go. That's one of my big secrets.

Wow!

I wasn't expecting that one.

So you haven't drank, or smoked weed, or done anything, in 15 years?

- Not even a little bit? - No.

I call that grace.

I never thought of it like that.

That you can do anything you set your heart to.

Man, I can't believe this is real.

Well why don't you pinch me and find out?

You're such a nerd!

He was like my knight in shining armor.

I never met someone who really listens to me the way he does.

It sounds like you're quite enamoured with Jeremy.

Where is he?

Does he know I'm in here?

Let me ask you something.

Would you ever intentionally

do something to Jeremy that would hurt him?

No. Absolutely not.

Why would you say something like that?

I need to see him.

Now!

You're very angry.

- I understand that. - You don't understand shit!

You have no idea what it's like to be me.

That's exactly what we need to find out.

I don't need to here this right now.

Give me that goddamit! How many times do I have to tell you.

Not at the dinner table?

There!

Now, maybe you'll finish your dinner.

You are not leaving this table

until you finish every goddamn bit of that. Do you hear me?

- Do you hear me? - I don't like it mommy.

Eat!

Eat, eat!

Eat you little pussy boy!

Eat, eat, eat!

Eat, eat!

Go to bed.

It must have been really hard for you.

I never told anyone.

Are you sure this doesn't bother you?

No.

It's cool.

And you don't have to keep asking me.

I just don't want you to be tempted.

I really needed to unwind tonight.

I know, baby.

You know...

you really need to realize that there is so much good in you.

Validating that good is not always an easy thing to do.

I just feel alone. So alone sometimes.

It's like I...

can't shake this feeling of being abandoned.

But you... you can change that.

That is all up to you.

Besides...

you, mister, have me now.

Will you stay with me tonight?

I would love to stay with you tonight.

Come on sleepy head wake up. I got a surprise for you.

Yo Sleeping Beauty, wake up!

- It's Saturday. - Yeah I know. Let's go!

- Where are we going? - Up, up, up, up. I got a surprise!

- I hate surprises. - I heard that.

Now can you tell me what we're doing here?

Well, since horses are the one thing that brighten that beautiful smile...

I thought you should have one of your own.

What are you talking about?

This farm is part of an adopt a horse program.

You get to adopt a... old or abused horse.

Cale, I want you to meet Nero Fiddles.

Nero meet your new owner, Caleb.

- You're kidding, right? - She's 15 years old.

She's friendly, healthy and I think a big old lesbian.

And just remember don't shovel shit or anything like that.

No. Of course not.

There's one more thing.

What?

I just wanted you to know that you have made me

the happiest I've been in my entire life.

I never felt this way about another guy.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

Thank you. Thank you.

That was the first time I ever heard someone tell me that

with such conviction.

It was a foreign word to me.

I don't even think I love myself.

Did you ever?

No.

No.

Why is that?

I don't know.

I've never had love.

Growing up. Even when I was a little kid.

Being told...

I was a pussy boy or a faggot all the time.

Doesn't do much for your self-esteem.

Who called you that?

My mother. For starters.

You're not a pussy and you're not a faggot.

I suck dick.

Is that what you think a faggot is?

What a faggot is is disgusting slang.

That's all.

Whatever. I'm gay okay?

Oh, great. That's not a bad thing.

Now...

you had love.

Genuine love.

Jeremy.

Ponyboy. You know, from the movie The Outsiders?

I like the name but I can't say I've ever seen it.

Oh man, you young-uns today! Can't get no respect.

What about you?

Donnie Darko.

Who?

Jake Gyllenhaal.

When he was a teen.

That old dark and brooding thing.

He had all that dark hair and that rebel thing going on.

I actually got caught beating off thinking about him.

No...

Really?

I had hung this Outsiders poster on my bedroom wall.

And I thought I was being all inconspicuous about it

with it hung behind my bed.

Oops.

I had laid back with my feet on the pillow and I'd get busy.

My mom comes in with a pile of laundry

and there I am wacking off.

Choking the chicken. Yeah. Go on.

I had my shirt pulled up against my nipples

and my jeans and my underwear around my ankles.

She walks in and I'm so caught off guard that I roll off the bed

and I fall to the ground.

Classic.

It was like something out of a Ben Stiller movie, but...

I mean honestly, though, the real experience was not that fun.

You were alone.

Now I have you.

So let me ask you something.

Shoot.

Ever think about finding your mom?

I don't see the point.

Closure?

I have thought about it a couple of times.

Someday.

I have a new family.

A southern nice couple... who take really good care of me.

That's nice, sweetie.

Kinda boring... but they're cool.

What's brown and sticky?

I don't know...

- Poop? - No!

A stick, silly!

I'm in school. I try really hard.

It's alright I... don't really get the whole Algebra 2 thing.

What does a perverted frog say?

I don't know.

Rrrrubbit, rrrrubbit, rrrrubbit

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Mom...

Lickalotapus.

Come on, Cabby, duh.

Just one more, one more. Promise.

And then we will go down to have apple sauce cause...

I need my sauce.

Okay, what is the number one cause of pedophilia?

Sexy babies.

Get it?

Get it? It's sexy babies.

It's sexy babies.

Sexy babies... sexy babies.

Sex... it's the babies...

the babies.

Why would someone who rarely cooks have two jars of cream of tartar?

- I honestly don't even know what that is. - I don't either.

So how long do we cook this for?

A half-hour maybe?

So where did you learn all this... kitchen stuff?

You don't really even seem like the cooking type.

Magic.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You shouldn't have.

Just open it.

So I saw it in the drugstore and I thought of you.

Oh, my God a Bugs Bunny toothbrush!

- I know it's silly. - No, it is not silly.

It is very sweet.

I just thought that we could, erm...

take it to the next... step, level... the...

I just er... You could keep it here

with no more overnight toiletry bag.

No more overnight toiletry bag.

No.

Oh, erm... and a key.

- To your hole? - No! Oh, gross.

To my heart... No the house.

Or to my heart... To the house.

Baby.

Thank you.

I love you so much.

Thanks.

By the way, um...

I've found her...

your mom.

Cale.

Cale, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it.

I'm sorry, alright? I... I... I shouldn't have done that.

I apologize.

Just fucking stop, Just fucking stop!

Why can't you be my fucking boyfriend and not my keeper?

- I'm not... - You have fucking no idea!

- So what? - I thought I was doing something...

So now you know the Caleb... the Jacobs fucking family secret!

How do you feel about it, huh?

You wanna know a secret? Wanna know a secret?

I've been keeping tabs on the bitch the entire time.

In the fucking loony bin! That's exactly where she's been!

I knew that! I fucking knew that!

- Just calm down. - No, don't tell me to calm down.

I'm sorry, okay? I thought I was doing something right.

You have no fucking idea how it feels. You have fucking no idea.

- Enough, enough okay? - Shut up!

I'm sorry! Alright?

Calm down.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- It's not okay. - I know it's not okay. I'm sorry, okay?

I'm cumming...

Shoot it... Go!

Aaah!... Aaah!

Aaah!... Aaah!

Ten minutes. That's all I needed was ten fucking minutes.

Then I'd be comatosed. That's all I needed.

Did you discuss this with your therapist?

What's the point? I'd just get another pill and...

With the right diagnosis and medication it's amazing what can help.

Let's get something straight. I'm not her, alright?

I'm not her.

You're fucking disgusting.

You fucking piece of shit.

You ugly little pussy bitch.

Cum whore.

You did this to me.

You... made me like this. You did it.

You made me what I am.

You. You. You. You little faggot!

Little faggot!

I can't stand you.

I cannot stand that I pushed you out of my vagina.

You... ruined... me.

You... tore up my insides

and stole every piece of me when you forced

your little fat wrinkly baby body into this world.

My heart...

My intestines... My pussy

My fucking anus. You're gross.

You... are... disgusting. I mean look at you.

Just look at you!

Oh...

Look at you... devil spawn.

Worse than even the man who dumped his sperm into me.

And all for what? Hmm? For what?

So that you can run around

sticking AIDS ridden dicks in your asshole. You sad, pathetic...

faggot. Homo.

I hate you.

I hate you!

- You didn't go to the hospital? - No, I didn't go to the hospital.

I wasn't going to leave you like this.

You and I, we need to talk.

Do you hate me?

No. No, I don't hate you.

I'm the one that you should hate.

This is all my fault. I never should have butt in.

This isn't anyone's fault.

I did this.

I still cannot comprehend...

why you would cut yourself like this.

- Ouch. - Sorry - Don't.

Fuck!

I don't know.

I guess I just wanted the outsides to look like the way I feel on the inside.

Oh fuck that's stupid!

- Suicide is not an option. - I wasn't gonna do that.

You know I look at you and all I see is pain.

I just wanna make it better.

You know that's just it. Don't try so hard.

I'm not used to all this.

You know no one has ever given me this much.

And...

every single time I let someone in... they just leave me.

So don't try so hard, okay?

What was I supposed to do?

I walk in and I see you bleeding.

I don't call that trying too hard, okay?

I call that trying to take care of somebody I love.

You're not gonna leave me though, are you?

Did you not just hear what I said?

I said I love you.

You know the past eight months have...

changed my life more than you will ever know.

I'm sorry.

I never wanna leave you.

You know what you need?

A lobotomy?

Maybe.

Yeah probably.

I think you need a little bit of Nero in the morning.

Yeah?

How's that sound?

Sounds great.

That one's mine.

Wanna see what it is?

He's good for something.

- Cute. - My God! It's adorable!

Here we go.

But Daddy's not going to be the one getting up in the middle of the night feeding her, now is he?

She knows me like a book.

I'm kidding.

She just kicked! This kid has been going crazy all day.

Honey, feel, feel.

Here it is.

Baby could you put out the recycling bin too?

Oh, you didn't!

These are my favorite!

- Don't forget the box. It's in the car. - I know, okay.

For the longest time I... I didn't even love myself.

Caleb you just have to...

you have to be completely honest with me.

If we're going to make this work.

I like it that way.

I do too.

Why are you doing this to me?

Why are you doing... this... to... me?

Why...

are... you? Fuck... you!

I've been waiting for you.

Sorry baby, I got stuck in the ER.

Come to bed.

I see how this goes.

Is this my payback for being late?

Scoot.

You dirty boy...

You have no idea.

Now kiss me.

Close your eyes.

I have a surprise for you.

- Can I open? - Shhh!

Daddy's Angel.

Look at you.

How did you get these?

Cale take these off.

Cale, come on let me explain. Just take these off.

I really don't think I should be around you right now.

Cale, Cale wait, let me explain. Cale wait, Cale!

Caleb, take these fucking things off me. Cale! Cale!

Cale!

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

- Cale! - Please stop. Please stop.

Please stop. Please stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

- Stop. Stop. - Cale!

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

- Stop. Stop. - Cale!

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Caleb!

Caleb!

Cale!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

You're a fucking pussy, can't stand this shit!

Aaah!... Aaah!... Aaah!

Aaah!...

You're fucking crazy!

What did you call me?

I have been here for hours. You fucking psycho!

Please don't hit me. Please don't hit me.

"Please don't hit me".

Listen to you. You sound like a faggot. You are a faggot, right? Right?

Take these off of me.

Answer the question.

Yes.

Louder. I wanna hear it again.

Yes.

Very good.

Now you see I know that. And you know that.

But does your wife know that?

Why are you doing this to me?

Why? Why?

Listen to you. Damn you are pathetic!

- You're nothing but a two-faced liar. - No.

Nothing that we did was a lie.

You're just a fucking cunt. Cunt.

And this just blows my mind!

And she's pregnant? She's pregnant too!

Take that off of me.

Your wife should really lock the back door.

Please don't hurt her! Please don't hurt her!

She's fine.

What do you think I am?

I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry.

Shut up!

You're not who I thought you were. You're just like everybody else.

No. You're not listening.

I'm sorry.

Shut up.

Just stop.

Please let me go. I won't tell anyone. Please, just let me go.

I know.

You're too afraid.

What would you say? I'm sucking some kid's dick?

Your missus would love that.

How long do you plan on keeping me here?

Until you tell me the truth.

Have you heard of brief reactive psychosis?

No. Enlighten me.

It's usually triggered by an extremely stressful event in one's life.

You've had many recently.

The subject tends to hear voices and hallucinate.

To see and hear things that aren't really there.

They do things they wouldn't normally ever do.

Does this sound familiar?

We've talked about your life growing up. The abandonment.

So... what's that got to do with why I'm here?

I'm thinking that perhaps the new details you discovered about Jeremy's life...

may have been a trigger for what transpired with him.

You people keep saying what's transpired with Jeremy.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Do you hear yourself?

You have an acute reaction to rejection.

There's only so many times I can pick myself up again.

So many credit cards.

Oh, who's Don? Did you fuck him too?

Should I take that as a yes?

No.

Ooo! Look at that. That's the first word you've said in hours.

I was beginning to think you were mad at me.

So what's her name?

Your bitch.

Fuck you!

Why did you get married if you're gay?

You have no clue about our relationship.

You're gay. You can't make that go away.

Yes, I'm gay. Okay. There, I said it.

I'm gay.

Does she even know?

I don't know.

Why did you marry her?

Because I thought it would change.

I thought having a baby would make things different.

Do you hear how ridiculous that is?

Oh, it's so easy for you, isn't it?

We grew up in different times, Cale.

You. You have things like fucking Glee.

Where I grew up, all I heard is that gay equals AIDS.

You're gay, you die. That kept me hiding.

You wanna know the real reason my adopted mother throw her husband out?

She caught him fucking me.

He'd been molesting me for years. You have no idea what it feels like

to have the man that's supposed to be your father...

riping your ass open.

And AIDS? You think I wasn't scared of dying?

That disgusting creep shot his load in my ass constantly?

If you think I wasn't scared of dying...

think again my friend.

I should be back by three.

Would you like me to leave the TV on for you?

TV... there's no TV.

Okay.

Before I go take three of these.

One, two, and three.

Drink.

Drink.

Swallow.

Now I know you know how to do that.

Good boy.

Open. Come on. Open. Come on.

For the anxiety.

This should do the trick.

I wanna go home.

You are home.

I love you.

Hey.

Can I get one of these?

I've seen you here.

Because I work here.

So listen... I'm hot and I think you're kind of hot.

What do you say we make it happen?

That's stupid.

You're stupid. Plus I'm married.

Yeah, well er... good luck with that

It's on the house.

You're a nasty little bitch aren't you?

You have no idea.

Get up.

Aaah!

Come on. Shut up, pussy.

I hope for your sake you swallowed those pills.

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you doing?

I thought you'd like it daddy.

Please just kill me.

I don't want this anymore.

Don't be ridiculous.

I wanna die.

I can't...

Don't worry, I have something better for you.

You're about to lose one thing that you worked so hard for.

Take a sip.

Another one?

It's good, isn't it? Have some more.

Go on, don't be greedy, Let's get drunk together.

Do you hate me?

No. No I don't hate you.

I'm the one that you should hate. This is all my fault.

This isn't anyone's fault.

I did this.

You're not gonna leave me though, are you?

I said I love you.

You know the past eight months...

have changed my life more than you'll ever know.

I'm sorry.

I never wanna leave you.

Even though I'm really scared...

I do love you.

I'm so sorry.

Aaah!

Get it out! Get it out!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aaah!

There was only one thing left to do.

And what was that?

It's been days. I'm starting to freak. Please answer me!

I'm sorry baby. Things have been crazy. Let me make it up to you. Meet me? Dinner?

If you insist.

You do and say exactly what we went over. Okay?

Yes.

Everything will be okay.

Jeremy? Jeremy I'm here.

Here.

Jeremy?

What's this all about?

Jeremy?

Are you okay?

It seems we have something in common.

Isn't that right, baby?

Someone tell me what the hell is going on here.

Go on. Tell her.

Please help me.

Come on.

Go ahead and tell her.

Just like we practiced.

- Come on. I... - I...

Am...

Am...

- A... - Please...

- A... - A...

Faggot.

Faggot.

How are we supposed to be a family when you have a wife?

We've been fucking for almost a year.

Tell her how you like to go down on me.

He sucks a mean cock, swallows too.

Look at that.

Nice throw. You're more of a man than he is.

Let's see what we've got here.

Wouldn't it be great if Mommy had a dirty little secret too?

Cale...

It's over.

Stop. Stop.

Stop.

I killed her.

I did it.

I didn't mean to do it.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

The last thing I remember was being in Jeremy's house.

And that was it.

Like I said, let's start at the beginning.

Are you hungry still? Are you hungry still?

You want the little cow? You want the little cow?

You want the little cow. I know you do.