Original subtitles

Have you had lunch?

Yes, but late. I said I'd be back at two.

Brian, you don't like this job any more than I do, do you?

Of course not.

The same all grind week after week.

And so much stress.

Yes, stress!

- D'you want a valium? - No way!

Steak and chips.

I thought you were supposed to eat fish on a Friday.

How you are out of date!

Vatican II said we don't have to do that any more.

Who's Vatican II? The deputy Pope?

Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy Pope.

The Pope is infallible. You can't be deputy-infallible!

- We have to go. - Let them wait.

Oi! A cup of tea over here, please!

No pension plan, no insurance.

No job security.

Why don't we just pack it in?

- I really hate this bank job. - Me too.

I don't know how to do anything else.

Time for work, boys. Back at two, remember?

Stop!

Hit the deck or you're dead!

You shot Louis, you asshole!

Oh shit!

Give me the money or you're a dead man!

Here, take it, you have it. I don't care, it's not mine.

- Shut your mouth! - Kill the hysteric!

I know how you feel. Have a valium.

Kill her!

What with?

With a gun!

I haven't got a gun, you homicidal pillock!

We've got it!

It's just not like it used to be, Charlie.

We work for a completely new breed.

All those guns and violence...

Even our poor Louie.

That was an accident.

Don't you eat your French fries?

It's got like America now.

Ever since Case took over the firm.

And none of us used to carry guns.

In the old days when we nicked someone

no one got hurt, and no one lost anything very much.

Insurance companies did.

Yeah, well, they're bigger thieves than we are.

I thought I was too clever to get involved with this heavy stuff.

What do you think?

We have no choice.

Do you want to tell Case we no longer want to be a part of his firm?

- No. - No, me neither.

Look, all I know is they wanted a fast driver.

And that's all I ever wanted to be.

How about a Mercedes?

Ha, a bit bourgeois, don't you think?

I fancy something a bit sporty.

- That one.

- No. I don't like Italian cars. They rust.

BMW.

Trifle yuppy.

Nice colour that red. Casually your eyes.

Very funny.

Oi, oh, officer. I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

We couldn't get in.

It's an all-ticket match.

- Is it? Ah, we didn't know that, did we mate? - No.

This will come in handy. Got his wallet.

Charlie, you do not pick the pocket of the police force!

Come on. Let's get our car. Quick!

Hey, what are you doing?

Stop! What the hell...

Charlie, slow down! Think!

- What's the big hurry? - Police. Move it!

Case wants to know when he can have the Toyota.

- A couple of days. - I'll tell him.

Oh, wait.

What's the matter, Norm?

I want to leave Mr Case's employment.

We didn't hear that.

I talked to Mr Case about that.

He said no problem. No, he was as sweet as pie.

You're in deep shit now.

He won't let you go. You know too much.

Why? Don't you think I can trust him?

There's only one thing.

I told him you guys wanted out as well.

You did what?

Ah, Mr Case wants to have a word with you two, boys.

Hello, Case.

Hi, boys.

Morley said you wanted to see us.

And Morley's right.

Got something for ya. It's in a car outside.

Oh my God.

Norm...

He died suddenly.

He never even got the last rites for his last wrongs, Charlie.

What did he die of?

He wanted to work for somebody else.

Aa, natural causes.

I want you to take him for some special weight training.

First Louie, now Norm.

I mean we were only talking to him a few hours ago.

I'm very upset, Charlie.

I don't mind admitting it.

We didn't do it. It's not our fault.

If we hadn't done this, he would have killed us too.

Do you think he won't? I'm very depressed.

I think I'll go lose some money.

Place your bets.

Number ten - black.

Have you seen my glasses anywhere?

You've got a customer.

Where?

Over there.

Oh, thanks.

Can I get you a drink, sir?

Eh, coffee, please.

Ah, I'm sorry!

Sorry, I'm not wearing my glasses.

I lost them last night.

You can't find them?

Can't find them without them.

What's your name?

Faith.

You are not really good at this job, are you?

I'm so sorry, Mr Hope. It won't happen again.

You - that's it!

No, wait. It was my fault.

Thanks.

I need this job.

Do you want me to get you another coffee?

No, let's not risk it.

OK.

I'm going off duty now. I've been on the night.

Can you come and have some breakfast with me?

No, it's nearly time for my day job.

You see, I can't get a grant.

I'm trying to save up enough to go to college.

Can I have your phone number?

No. Don't know who you are.

OK. Here's mine.

If you ever want anything, anything at all, just ask for Brian.

It's yours.

Oh, thanks.

That's what you look like!

You see that drinking club?

They found it for laundring money from crack.

No, we didn't touch drugs.

We don't. It belongs to Triads. They're moving in from Hong Kong.

We gonna take the real pot again away from them.

From the Triads?

It's all used notes. There's no risk.

No risk? The Triads?

You want to work for somebody else?

- No. - No.

Find out where they take the cash. Watch out for a red Mercedes.

Look.

Watch out.

Vay you folla us?

Hm?

Why you folla us?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You policemen?

Do we look like policemen?

No.

Good.

So, if you folla us again, I chop your arms off, OK?

Great.

Now, if Case doesn't kill us, the Triads will.

You know what we ought to do? Steal the money for ourselves.

Oh, brilliant!

Then we'll have Case trying to gun us down and the Triads trying to chop us up!

No. We grab the money for ourselves, we drive to the airport, and ol� - we're in Rio.

So, what do you want to study?

Psychology.

- Psychology? - Yeah.

I've got a job at King's College now. Dreaming.

Dreaming?

It's a job?

Yeah, they pay me. Ten quid an hour.

Practical experience on a real psychology department.

I've got to go straight there after breakfast.

And what do you do? Just go to sleep?

It's not just sleeping.

When I wake up I tell them what I dreamt.

They are very interested.

I'm supposed to have some interesting dreams.

I suppose you must have.

This job's great!

Thanks.

That casino was run by gangsters, you know.

No!

Yes!

What kind of business are you in, Brian?

Oh, I'm an entrepreneur,

you know, fingers in pies, banks, shopping centres, cars...

That's brilliant.

Joey.

-You know Faith? - Yeah, we've met.

- Oh, hello. - Hello.

Are we keeping you up?

Faith's very tired.

She's got an interesting sideline.

She sleeps for ten quid an hour.

Ten quid an hour?! A good-looking girl like you?

I can give you fifty.

Sows!

So, she must be pretty...

A bit of...

...rather...

What?

She must be a terrific lay.

It's not like that.

We talk, we hold hands, we kiss - it's nothing.

You're in love with her.

Love! I like it, that's all. What's wrong with that?

Don't be daft!

You'll see the women in Rio. They're the most beautiful in the world.

So, we are definitely on then?

Yeah. Aren't we?

Oh yeah.

I'll be sorry to leave Faith.

You can't tell everybody where we're going.

Now's the time when we can make a nice clean break of it.

Come on.

They'll be armed, so we should to kill, right?

Yes, should to kill.

Shut that door!

What about Brian and Charlie?

I don't trust them any more.

I think I'm going to make tomorrow their last day on this planet.

OK. Here's the shooties.

One for you.

One for you.

One each for Brian and Charlie.

Guns for them?

First, we use them, then we get rid of them.

Like Kleenex.

Anything else?

- No. The Willis Street, 10:00 am. - Leave it to us, Case.

Brian, they're going to kill you!

Go away!

I won't let it happen. Come with me.

- Go home! - Come with me!

I'm trying to commit a major crime.

She's part of the plan?

Get off me!

Get into the car!

Get off me!

Come on...

You stupid cow!

Look at that guy. Henpecked!

Don't move or you're dead!

Let's see!

- Hang on, don't set it. - Too late. I have set it.

We've got 50 seconds.

Hold it. Don't shoot!

Why not?

Because it's wrong.

It's very funny, Brian.

Don't move!

You shoot them, I'll shoot you.

What did you put in my car?

A bomb!

Are you off your trolley?

Right! Over there with them!

Put your guns down.

You too!

Throw the bags over here.

Wait a minute, what...

You'll regret this!

Right. We've got... six seconds!

Brilliant!

- What's the matter? - It won't start.

- Why not? - I don't know.

I don't know what's happened.

Look! We're out of petrol, you stupid dick!

Quick! We'd better run for it!

Where's Faith?

She's gone. She went by taxi.

That door.

- What about it? - It's open!

Do you speak English?

What is this place?

Was that a nun?

What we gonna do?

We'll never get to the airport. The place will be crawling with cops.

Do we have the airline tickets?

- No. Oh, shit. I left them in the car.

Christ! We've got no alternative.

No! What do the nuns do anyway?

Nothing. They sit about, they read, they pray...

It's a godsend. No one would even think of looking for us in a nunnery.

We need makeup.

Eh... Miss, how do you put this on?

With the red sponge, sister.

How do I look?

OK.

OK.

OK.

Excuse me.

Do nuns usually wear makeup?

It's our day off.

If we're good nuns, God will see us through.

We're not nuns, Charlie!

From now on we are. Say nothing.

Yes?

Hello. We're from Chipping Sodbury. We believe you are expecting us.

No.

No?

No!

Can we come in?

Well..., I suppose so.

See? It's a pushover.

Come in.

I'm a superior.

Sister Liz is my name.

Good morning Reverend Mother.

We don't use titles like Reverend Mother any more.

Just call me 'sister'. What is your name?

Sister Inviolata of the Immaculate Conception.

And yours?

Sister Euphemia of the Five Wounds.

Five Wounds?!

Five Wounds, for short.

Do sit down.

I gather you thought we were expecting you.

Yes! Yes. Eh... Did the documentation not arrive?

What documentation?

From my Mother Superior. The letters she sent to introduce us.

I don't recall such a letter.

Still you are very welcome.

As you know, we run a teacher training college

in this convent for 18-22 year-old girls...

You do?

You have experience?

Of 18-year-old girls? Yes, plenty.

Well, welcome to our convent.

I'll just find someone to show you round.

Thank you.

Where did you get those names?

From auntie Mary, because she's a nun.

You'll never get away with this.

Brian! This is our only chance to go straight.

You call all this - going straight?

Mr Norris, could you spare sister Mary for a few moments?

But we order the accounts for the drug rehabilitation clinic.

You go ahead.

- Listen, you can't leave. - Why not?

- For lots of reasons. - Name three.

Case, the Triads, the Police.

This is sister Mary of the Annunciation. She will take you to your cells.

Cells?

This is the residential area,

and the college is through the door.

This is your room. Yours, sister Inviolata, is next door.

The bathroom is at the end of the corridor.

We all share bathrooms and showers, of course.

- Not literally? - What's the matter with that?

Ehm... our orders are very modest.

We don't tolerate nudity in any shape or form.

Especially our shape.

Yes. We believe it's a sin to show our private parts of the body in public.

Not to ours surely.

We are all just the same underneath when you get right down to it.

Well..., Well, yes...

We couldn't possibly break our rules, could we? No.

And I'm sure you understand that, sister Mary of the Annunciation.

And we'd like you to explain it to the sister superior.

Why me?

Why did you ask her to explain it?

It's her job, isn't it? Annunciation.

Isn't it a classy work for announcement?

Yes - if you are the Angel of the Lord and you are declaring to the Virgin Mary

she's about to conceive by the Holy Ghost and have an immaculate conception.

But not, Brian, not because you want a private shower,

because you are pretending to be a nun

and you're frightened the other nuns might see your dick!

Now, keep your mouth shut until you can say something suitable.

How do I know what's suitable?

I've never been a f...g nun before!

I just hate to hear you blaspheme.

Wait a minute, Charlie.

Just because you're dressed like a nun, it doesn't mean you are one!

- And you can't describe any of them? - No.

- I broke my glasses. See? - I see. Thank you, miss.

What happened to your arm?

- I think I was shot. - Oh yes. It should be attended to.

I can't hear you, you are breaking up!

- Well, shall I help you unpack... - I'll manage, thank you.

Why do you still wear those old fashion habits?

Most of us have given them up.

Well, erm... We'd rather not, actually.

They're for a... for travelling.

You couldn't lend us something more like you are wearing, could you?

It's so much more faminine.

We've got loads of stuff for you in the basement.

I'll lend you one of mine.

Why?

Because we need to look just like them if we want to pass unnoticed.

Then what happened?

We don't know.

Where did they go?

We don't know.

Where did the girl go?

We don't know.

Why did they abandon the car?

We don't know.

Listen carefully.

I want that money. I want that girl alive.

To find out what she knows.

And I want Brian and Charlie...

dead!

Is that quite clear?

Oi!

Oi! You!

Are you a nun?

Oh, very funny. What do you want?

And this is our chapel.

Hello, sisters.

I'm father Seamus.

Well, Mary. Aren't you going to introduce us?

This is sister Euphemia and this is sister Inviolata.

They're staying here.

Very nice.

How long are you staying?

I'm very pleased to meet you, sister Euphemia.

If there's anything at all I can do for you,

don't hesitate to call on me, day or night.

What did he mean?

Father Seamus can't keep his hands to himself.

Father, father, be off with you.

That's disgusting!

You should be flattered. He didn't give me a second glance.

So, I hear you are from Chipping Sodbury.

Yes.

I've been meaning to phone old Pearson.

Who?

Father Pearson. Your priest. We were students together.

What's the matter?

Don't mention Pearson in front of Euphemia.

They had a little... romance.

A naughty one.

With Pearson?

Don't try to ring him.

He took a vow of silence and left Chipping Sodbury for unknown destination.

Sister Euphemia, I understand.

But if you need any consolation...

We don't need your sort of consolation, Father Seamus.

We've heard all about you from father Pearson.

I don't know what you mean.

I don't like the way you are looking at me.

I'm not looking at you anywhere.

I admit I enjoy women's company.

There's nothing wrong with that I hope, sister?

We're not women.

We're nuns!

We don't even think of ourselves as women at all.

Oh, that's a pity...

if I may say so.

Apparently there's been a bomb and some shooting in the street.

I don't suppose you've seen anything unusual?

Strange men, you mean?

Have you?

Well, erm...

All men are a little strange to us, officer.

Excuse me.

What exactly are you looking for?

We don't know.

Was there...

Was there anything stolen?

We don't know.

Well, we're all rather busy today.

Why don't I just talk to all the other sisters?

And if you can tell us who or what you are looking for,

we will tell you if we've seen it.

Thank you.

Oh, Mary, I'm afraid you and I must have a little talk, by the way.

Excuse us.

So far, so good.

Why did you choose Chipping Sodbury? There is a convent there!

I didn't know that.

Sister Liz, I've got to give the girls their Religious Studies class in fifteen minutes.

Sit down, please. I'm supposed to be teaching as well,

but I'm sorry to say this is a little more important.

I'll find someone else to take the classes.

Oh, Euphemia. I have to talk to sister Mary here.

Would you take her Religious Studies class for 3rd-year girls?

- Me? - Yes, in quarter of an hour?

I don't think I know how.

Now, now, no false modesty please.

The sin of pride, remember?

It's not false modesty.

You don't have to stick to the curriculum,

it's more like a religious discussion group.

I'm sure they'd be interested to hear your point of view.

I'm sure they would.

Well... What about her?

She's just hanging about.

I'm retired. I'm not going back to work now, thank you very much.

Euphemia, just talk to the girls and answer their questions about the Trinity.

The Trinity?

I think sister Inviolata would be much better at it than me.

No, er... No. We're just going out.

Where to?

Oh, we just love exercise.

They are a strange pair!

Yes. And now we've got another blooming visitor.

They won't search a couple of nuns?

What? With suitcases? After a bomb?

So, are you going to tell the police?

I don't know. I must think about it.

But you must meditate upon your weakness and pray for strength.

And you'd better take a week off.

We came back.

We thought God wanted us to help.

Yes. Who knows?

Since you are so fond of exercise, sister Inviolata,

you could take my freshman girls Physical Education class.

You look as if you could do with the workout.

This young lady says she wants to be a teacher.

I can't think why.

Let's go.

And do put your suitcases in your cells for goodness sake!

What's she doing here?

Looking for you?

I wanna talk to her.

You've gone out your mind!

We're not interviewing applicants at the moment.

No, can I just talk to you?

I am a mature student, and a Catholic.

OK.

- Let me out! - No!

- I want to talk to Faith. - You can't.

She can't know we're here. She can't know we're nuns!

Why not?

What if Abbot and Morley find her?

What if Case tortures her? She'll tell!

I'll take that chance.

No!

And think of her - if she knows nothing, she's safe.

Do the class in fifteen minutes.

OK.

Explain the Trinity.

Hm... That's a bit of a bugger.

It can't be that difficult. You've been a Catholic all your life.

Yeah.

Well, here's the pitch.

You've got the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

The three are one - like a shamrock, my old priest used to say.

"Three leaves but one leaf."

Now, the father sent down the son, who was love,

and then when he went away, he sent down the holy spirit,

who came down in the form of a...

You told me already - a ghost.

No, a dove.

- The dove was a ghost? - No, the ghost was a dove.

Let me try and summarize this: God is his son. And his son is God.

But his son moonlights as a holy ghost, a holy spirit, and a dove.

And they all send each other,

even though they're all one and the same thing.

You've got it!

What?

You really could be a nun!

Thanks.

Wait a minute.

What I said, does make any sense to you?

Oh, no.

No. That makes no sense to anybody.

That's why you have to believe it.

That's why you have to have faith.

If it made sense, it wouldn't have to be a religion, would it?

I'd be happy to consider you if you pass your exams.

Thank you.

Can I just have a quick look round before I go?

Not at the moment I'm afraid.

Well, I wish you luck, Faith. Work hard.

No, no, look.

I've told you.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

That's easy.

I'm enjoying this. Nice.

Nice?!

Look, Charlie. Some con men sell life insurance.

The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant!

Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.

The church isn't selling anything, Brian.

Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling anything,

how did it get to be so rich?

Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need,

there's money to be made.

You think so?

Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Is that what you are saying God wanted the Church to be? Rich?

No. God is very busy. He can't control all the details.

He's running a franchise operation.

Those nuns aren't rich.

Come on. Let's go.

Good people, Brian. Anyone can see that.

Just like me and you and other monks.

How come they're happier than us?

They're only happier than us because when they joined the thing

they checked their brains at the door!

What happened to your arm?

I'm not sure. I fell.

It looks like a bullet wound to me.

How would you know?

I've seen bullet wounds. I've been a missionary.

Where?

East L. A.

Come on, girls.

Let's play ball.

...And I don't think we need to discuss the Trinity any more.

But what I don't understand

is how can be God both a spirit and a man?

But He's also a dove, don't forget that.

- Isn't that a metaphor? - No, it's a bird.

What's the big deal about Him suffering on earth

if He knew He was going to rejoin His Father in Heaven?

Look, Tracey. Do you think it is easy to be God's son?

Let me tell you, young lady,

it is never easy to be the son of a successful father.

- But...

- Look! All you need to know about the Trinity is this.

God is like a shamrock!

Small, green and split three ways.

Class dismissed.

Dribble, girls, dribble... Pass the ball.

Thank you.

That's what you do.

Hi, Faith.

Who's that?

It's me, Brian.

Oh, Brian...

- What are you doing here? - Looking for you.

Did you see us come in? Did anyone else?

I don't think so.

I wish you hadn't followed us.

Thanks a lot!

No, it's for your own safety.

Look. You haven't seen me, you didn't see me come in here,

you don't know I'm here, all right?

OK.

What's the matter with your arm?

Oh, it's nothing. I'm just a bit dizzy. Can you stay with me for a bit?

No, no. I mean if the nuns find me, they'll tell the police.

I see.

Besides..., I don't want us to get too involved.

Let's face it, we're not serious about each other, are we?

Well, no, but...

Look, Faith. We're gangsters.

We're in an ugly business. We mean ugly people, all right?

You shouldn't hate yourself like this.

You saved those men's lives.

You could change decent and decent.

Go straight.

It's not that easy.

Anyway, what's it matter to you?

It's not like we were married or anything.

Oh, wait a minute. I've never suggested we get married.

Oh, just as well, because... I'm not available.

That's why I had to find you to tell you.

You're telling me you are married?

Yeah! That's it. I'm married.

Sorry, I should have mentioned it.

Too bloody right, why didn't you?

I only just thought of it. I only just thought of telling you it.

An ugly married gangster! I really do pick'em.

What do you mean "ugly"?

You said you were ugly.

Yeah, but I didn't expect such a wholehearted agreement.

I meant not like ugly with your nose all over your face.

Oh, God. Where's my wimple?

Oh, what are you doing here?

Er..., just visiting.

- I'll take this. - Thanks.

She's gone.

Didn't they see you?

- They? - Those two nuns.

Err..., no. No, I was..., I was hiding.

Right. I'll be off, then.

Fine.

I'm going now to the church for confession.

Ah. That makes everything OK, does it?

In a way.

Lucky you.

I never wanna see you again.

Sister Inviolata, you play great game of balls. How come?

I wasn't always a nun, my dear.

Are there any other games you are good at?

Yes.

But I can't play them with you.

Aren't you going to take a shower?

No, no. I'm very shy.

Sister Inviolata.

Are you in here?

Yes!

Oh, listen. I...

Oh...

What's wrong, sister?

Nothing. I just... came over a bit... funny.

It's so...

steamy in here.

Yes, it's certainly is...

steamy.

What are you doing in here?

I can't help myself.

Stop it! Look at me!

You shouldn't be in here. It's not right.

I know.

I don't understand. Why shouldn't you be here?

Erm... we don't belong.

You certainly do.

Listen, today is my birthday and the girls give me a party.

Would you both like to come?

We'd love to. Where is it?

In our bedroom.

Yes. We will be there.

Why have you been carrying the bags with you all the time?

Because they're very precious to us.

In this order we're not allowed personal possessions.

Nor are we. But what's in here does not belong to us. Truthfully.

No, but we're obliged to take care of it.

Whatever it is, it'll be quite safe over there, with sister Mary.

She's quite right. I'll look after them for you.

Now, put them down!

And then at lunch.

Oh, I...

spoke to Faith. She's in the sickroom.

So now she knows you are here.

No, no. She thinks I've gone now.

I told her I was married.

You were married.

She thinks I still am.

She never wants to see me again.

Huh, just as well.

Oh, you're kidding. You are in love with her.

I AM, aren't I?

But she doesn't love me.

Charlie,

she said she was gonna confess.

Who?

Faith.

To the cops?

To the priest.

She'll talk about the Triad robbery, she'll name Case, then us.

Don't panic.

Priests never tell anyone what they hear in the confessional.

What if he tells her to go to the police?

As soon as he leaves, you go in.

- Me? - Someone's got to do it.

Don't worry. She's the one who'll be talking.

- Hello, sister. - Hello, ...Seamus.

Is there somewhere nice and quiet where we can have a little talk?

Oh, certainly, sister.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's three years since my last confession.

O dear, o dear, o dear!

I am... I haven't been living a very good life. And I think God is punishing me for it.

I've become involved with a gangster called Brian.

Could you tell me about it?

I... I have lustful feelings about him.

You do?

Yes.

I think I love him.

You love him?

He's so brave.

He prevented a gang murder today.

Oh love, he sounds great.

He says he doesn't love me.

Perhaps he's just saying that for some reason.

He's a married man.

But when we kissed I felt...

I felt all warmed and funny inside.

I can't describe it.

But my problem is,

there's a terrible crime committed today and I haven't told the police.

If you love him, keep your trap shut.

I wondered if you'd like to talk about your...

desires.

Funny, very funny.

Father Pearson told me that you had to keep your hands to yourself.

I'm a man. That's why I flirt a little.

Hm, well, I'm not that sort of nun.

Tell me -

- is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?

I wouldn't know.

I must come clean, though. I...

...I had a man in my bed last night.

All night.

You see, the way I see it...

Sex is allowed.

No, no. It's the doctrine of original sin.

You see, we're all born sinful, except for Jesus,

who was perfect, of course.

And He was sent to save us.

But how could He save us unless we were sinning?

So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to heaven.

That's how Christianity works.

That's why it suits so many people.

And I lied to the police about him.

Purely from the best motives.

So is it true that if you commit a sin out of fear it is not necessarily a sin after all?

Sounds right to me.

OK. Thanks for dropping by.

Aren't you gonna give me absolution for my sins?

Oh, absolutely!

You're absolutely absoluted.

That's it. You're done now. You can go.

Aren't you gonna tell me my sins are forgiven?

Erm... I was just coming to that.

I resolve you... Absolve you!

In the name of the Holy Father, and of the Son,

and of the holy shamrock. ...Spirit!

Sorry.

Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven you.

Thank you, Father.

You're welcome.

She loves me.

Look, I've got to go to Brazil, forever!

Never mind that.

What do you mean 'never mind that'?

It's a catastrophe!

Maybe I can stay here somehow.

Listen! We have to leave!

Either on a plane to Brazil, or feet first!

She went over to the church.

She didn't come back?

She said she would.

Can we have our bags, please?

I've put them away in a nice safe place.

Good.

Where?

Oh, I forget.

Oh, over there, in that cupboard.

It... it won't open.

Of course not. It's locked.

Give us the f...

Could we have the key, please?

Certainly.

But where have I put it?

Can you believe that?

Luckily, I kept some aside.

We have to do some shopping.

Maybe Faith went home?

Charlie, we'll go and warn her before she gets into trouble.

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who's hot our monaye?

I don't know, do I?

You see this knife?

Not very clean, no.

Oh, yes.

We saw you with the man who took our money.

Yes, but he went off without me, didn't he?

Anyway, he hasn't got it.

He works for Mr Casey.

Mr who?

No, Mr Casey.

Casey's health club. It's in the phone book.

You'll have it.

You should get yourself a white cane.

I can see very well, thank you.

Look, I'm trying to find a number of Faith Thomas,

in King's Cross. It's urgent.

The X-rays show there's nothing wrong.

Your arm has a flesh wound. You are very lucky.

I suppose so.

Because you've banged your head

I have to keep you here overnight for observation.

Sorry, it's the rules.

Hello, dad?

Your spare glasses,

your night dress.

Hello again.

We'd like something shave, please.

What's this?

It's Epilady. It's very, very good, actually.

No, we want men's razors.

Just between you and me - we are very hairy.

Got any dental floss?

One pound nineteen, please.

Thank you.

Only one ticket left for Rio for tomorrow?

What about the day after?

Is there a waiting list?

No, no. I'll pay for both of us now.

Yes, American Express.

My name is Charles MacManus, MacManus.

Er... the expiry date is...

Do come in. What exactly are you looking for?

A missing person.

A dear friend of mine completely disappeared today.

Name of Charlie. He was last seen in this street.

An adult?

Not mentally.

I'm here to take care of him.

And his friend was with him, name of Brian Hope.

They didn't come here. I'm so sorry to hurry you.

Here's me card. If they do come here,

you will let me know?

Certainly.

I'll leave you these photos of them.

Good bye.

Sister Euphemia. Sister Inviolata. Are you joining us?

Can I see those?

Joining you?

Yes. We're going to the church to celebrate Mass.

Tomorrow's our saint's day. We will be on retreat.

Oh, that's funny, so will we.

Church time.

- Have you found that key yet? - What key?

Charlie!

Sorry. Force of habit.

- Let's kill him now. - No, not yet.

Let's use him. He's looking for the money too.

Sister Euphemia, there's some woman on the phone.

Says she can't get you the other seat to Brazil today.

But she's reserved two for tomorrow.

I'll take it.

Tickets to Brazil?

Yes. You know, where the nuts come from.

I do know where Brazil is.

Yes. We're going to be missionaries.

You?

- We got the call. - What call?

This call.

Sister Liz, can I talk to you?

Mr Norris?

(sister Mary: Oh, my God)

- I tried to telephone you. - Well, we were in church.

(NORRIS: It's about a theft of a large sum of money.)

Possibly stolen by a person or persons within this convent.

You'd better come to my office.

Who's that guy with her?

He looks like a law.

I've ordered the accounts

and a great deal of money is missing from the Catholic Drug Rehabilitation Clinic.

50,000 quid, right?

You know?

That man is the auditor.

Oh, is that all?

I've done a terrible thing.

I've lost 50,000 pounds on the horses.

Still, some you win and some you lose.

Who knows, next week you might win it all back again.

Sister Mary?

She's the Clinic's administrator. She drinks rather heavily, I'm afraid.

Apparently she's gambled it all away on the horses.

That's criminal.

What's more to the point, that money was next year's budget

for the Drug Rehabilitation Clinic.

So you're going to report sister Mary to the police?

I can't. She's repented.

And anyway I'm partly responsible.

I gave her more freedom than she can handle. I'm troubled.

I really need your help, Mr Norris.

What you need is a miracle.

Operator, are you sure it's the right number? It's a matter of life and death!

Come!

What are you doing? Put those trousers away.

I'm worried.

I'm going to find Faith.

- King's Cross, please. - My pleasure, sisters.

Wait here.

Hello. Faith?

"Don't come back here.

Case may send up Morris and Abbot to get you.

Love, Brian."

"Don't come back here" - that's a bit like saying: "Do not read this note".

Well, you write it then.

There's no need. She's got the sense not to come back here and risk meeting Abbot and Morley.

- Oh shit! It's Abbot and Morley! - Oh shit!

Where can we hide?

Jump!

Quick! Get down there!

Back to the convent!

We've got nothing to wear. What about our habits?

What about the money? What about staying alive!

Charlie...

Come on, Charlie.

Here, come.

Are you OK?

Yes...

Brian...

Rape! Rape! Men! Burglars!

That way, that way.

Rape! Rape!

Men!

No one there...

Are you sure you saw two men?

Do you think I imagined it?

Scotch?

Yes. But...

Good night everyone.

Sister Mary, we have to try and get this problem under control.

Now, go to bed.

You know? I've been thinking.

We escaped from Abbot and Morley,

and the Triads, and Case.

And where we find sanctuary?

Here, in the house of God.

- Sanctuary? Are you kidding me? - No.

Maybe God is telling us something.

We also escaped with the million pounds of somebody else's money.

What else is He telling us?

I think God can get us out of this alive.

I hope you won't be relying on Him totally,

because we've still got to break into that bleedin' cupboard!

God helps those who help themselves, Brian.

Let's hope you are right.

I think...

what God wants us to do now,

is wait until everyone's asleep, break into that cupboard, take the money and go.

It's only me.

Why are you up at this time of night?

I've come to get you - it's my party.

Party, of course.

It's Euphemia.

Let's party!

Got any booze?

Sure!

You know what? We're all anti-nun, but you two are different.

No, no. We're just the same.

Come and sit down.

Hey, wasn't it gruesome, that girl who was shot in the street today?

Shot? Who?

Her name's Faith. They brought her in here.

She wasn't shot. She was just dizzy.

She says she was shot. Then kidnapped by Chinese gangsters,

then she escaped. Now she's in hospital.

- No one believes it. - Why not?

She rang the superior and asked to speak to a man called Brian!

In a convent? She's obviously mad!

It's long after the visiting hours.

But I'm her spiritual adviser.

And she still has a family with her.

Her father and her brother. They won't go.

I just want to know she's all right.

All right. As it's you, sister.

Hello.

You must be Faith's father.

That's right, sister.

Could I... have a word with you?

How is she?

- Oh, she's got a bullet wound. - A bullet wound?

Apparently she's been involved with some gangster

called Brian.

Oh, o dear... O dear me.

Erm... Did she tell the police what happened?

No, she's too scared. And if I get my hands on this Brian...

Well, violence never solves anything.

You must learn to forgive, as Christ forgave.

- May I have a word with Faith alone? - Sure.

Do you mind if I tell her who I am?

If you do, I'll kill you.

Fair enough.

- Hi, sister. - How are you, my child?

Not too bad. Are my glasses there?

Eh... no.

So, you are not seriously hurt?

Who cares?

Well... I care.

But the man I'm in love with doesn't.

I wish I was dead.

- We've got to take her with us. - In one word - no way!

Why not?

The Triads have followed her up here. They're watching out for us.

Oh my God.

Look, we've only got two airplane tickets for tomorrow.

I'm not gonna risk another day in London.

What must we do?

Tomorrow we get up early, we get the money and we go!

Up early?

We always are.

You know I saw two men last night?

Oh, I'm sure it was just a nightmare.

Yes, but was it real?

Your face!

It's all stubby! You've got a beard!

You're a man!

They're two men!

Shut up or you're dead!

Get that axe!

Don't you think you'd better explain?

Aah... Eh... Erm, it's money, obviously.

And, eh... we took it from the Triads gang. They're drug traffickers.

- You're men! - Oh, yeah.

And we desperately want to get out of organized crime.

You stole money because you wanted to get out of crime?

Oh, it was stolen already before we stole it.

A likely story!

Don't you see? It's just that the good guys that have the money instead of the bad guys.

It's like Robin Hood, you see? We stole from the rich to give to the poor.

Who are you going to give this money to?

Us, we are poor.

Hands up!

Mary? Put that gun down.

It's okay. It's mine. It's not loaded.

It's yours? Phone the police. The police!

You bet!

Wait!

I'm a Catholic. I want absolution.

Absolution is only possible through repentance.

- I repent. - So do I.

- Shutcho! - Shutcho!

Yes! Shut up, Mary.

If you repent, hand that stolen money over to me.

- Why should you get it? - Shut up, Brian.

You see, sister, if you hand us over to the police, it means certain death for us.

We worked for a gang boss who has associates in every jail in the country.

We wouldn't last more than 24 hours before we had a fatal accident!

Also, I'm in love. I... I'd like to get married.

And... they would send us to jail forever and what end to my girl?

Besides, I really do repent. Really.

Well, I don't know whether I can believe all this.

Well, that's your problem, sister.

From now on - it's every nun for himself!

Go! Phone!

I've found them!

Yes?

Where?

We're trying to follow them. Charlie is quite a driver.

- You're going a wrong way. - To the airport.

- To the hospital. - We are going to the airport!

Get out of the bloody way!

Hurry up! I'm not sure if I've given them the slip.

Keep a look at that, OK?

Faith...

Hello, sister.

Here are your glasses.

Ah, thank you.

Brian. Why are you dressed like that?

I'll explain everything.

Excuse me, sir. Have you ever seen a sluice room?

- This is what we call a bedpan. - Pepan?

We use it for getting rid of shit!

- Ow! - Ow!

Why did you do that?

You bloody liar!

- I'm not lying. I love you. - I don't care, you're married.

- I'm not married. - You're not married?

No.

Why did you do that?

I thought you were.

You told me you didn't love me but you do!

Do you know what I've been through?

I risk my life coming here today. I could be at the airport now.

Risk your life?! I was shot because of you!

Shit!

I even went to confess to a priest.

I told him my problem, I told him I loved you

and he told me to keep my trap shut.

I know. That was me.

- In the confessional? - Yes.

You know the nun you spoke to last night?

That was me too.

- I told you my innermost secret feelings. - I know.

Which ward is Faith Thomas in?

Reasonably, she's being visited by a couple of so called "nuns".

Ow! Stop slapping me!

Come on! Case is here!

I've got to sort this out.

Not now, Brian. We've got to leave. Check-in is in thirty minutes!

Charlie!

- Come on! - No!

Faith, I can't leave you.

I'm gonna stay here and take what's coming to me.

- You mean jail? - I suppose so.

Will you wait for me?

No.

I'm coming with you!

Get that stretcher!

Hide the bags!

Tell them we went that way.

Case...

Gotcha, f...s!

Stop... or I'll shoot!

I thought so.

Goodbye, boys.

It's your gun, sir?

Doesn't that bag look familiar to you, sister Mary?

- There's only one bag! - We've lost one!

- Forget. We've got plenty. - We only did it for the money.

No, we didn't.

Sisters,

there are some policemen out there looking for you.

Oh... good.

Tell them we'll be right back.

Any suggestions?

Wait! Are my seams straight?

Faith!

Where are they taking you?

Here's Faith!

- God, look, it's him! - Who?

That's Brian.

- It's Brian, isn't it? - Yes. Brian.

That's Brian?

Freeze!

Sergeant, we were...

Shut up! And take those dresses off!

Again?

You're kidding!

Undress! Of course they're armed and dangerous.

You're sure of that, sergeant?

We're not allowed to strip search women.

They're not women.

I said - take 'em off!

Oh, shit...

I will kill you! I want my money!

No! We're blocked in!

They've seen the bag!

Look, the best getaway car in town. No one will stop us in that.

- Thank God. - Yes

Why do You have to make everything so bloody difficult?

It's enough money for ten drug rehabilitation clinics.

But where...?

It's a miracle, Mr Norris.

Our prayers were answered.

But it's not yours!

It is now.

What has happened is

that the good guys have got it instead of the bad guys.

Like Robin Hood.

We will put the money to God's use.

They took it from kids on drugs, we will use it to get them off drugs.

But don't you feel guilty?

Let us pray.

Oh, God,

thou hast always moved in mysterious ways thy wonders to perform,

but this latest wonder takes some beating even from You.

So what we want to say is thanks a million

for sending us Euphemia and Inviolata.

And keep an eye on them, won't you? They need you. Amen.

Next, please.

We booked two seats, but we need three.

What flight and what name?

The name is...

Security alert. If anyone asks for tickets in the name of McManus or Hope,

we wanna talk to them.

Would you care for a drink, Madam?

Some champagne, perhaps?

Or some caviar?

English subtitles by SirGawen (2012)

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