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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:07,398 ("FLOWER PUSHER" BY DJ KERA PLAYING) 2 00:00:20,528 --> 00:00:21,695 And watch your step. 3 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,136 There's glass everywhere. 4 00:00:23,426 --> 00:00:25,893 Damn wild boar set off one of my land mines. 5 00:00:25,918 --> 00:00:28,182 Also, watch out for land mines. 6 00:00:29,042 --> 00:00:30,612 There she is. 7 00:00:30,637 --> 00:00:32,448 Champagne Dreams. 8 00:00:33,239 --> 00:00:34,801 KAITLIN: This is the one. I'm gonna throw 9 00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:36,285 the sickest island party of all time, 10 00:00:36,309 --> 00:00:38,565 and my name will be remembered forever. 11 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:40,862 - Yep, she's a good one, Kirsten. - Kaitlin. 12 00:00:40,887 --> 00:00:44,024 So, no one's worried about these, uh, land mines? 13 00:00:44,453 --> 00:00:46,462 Anyway, she may not look like much, 14 00:00:46,487 --> 00:00:47,689 but she'll get you where you want to go. 15 00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:49,363 KAITLIN: Yeah, I just got to get a bunch of kegs out 16 00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:50,714 to Josh Travis's party island. 17 00:00:50,739 --> 00:00:51,873 Mm-mm-mm. 18 00:00:51,898 --> 00:00:53,956 - RIP, Josh Travis. - KAITLIN: Right. 19 00:00:53,981 --> 00:00:55,048 Yeah, RIP. 20 00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,518 Man, I should not have done that. 21 00:00:57,543 --> 00:00:59,580 I already got frickin' ants everywhere. 22 00:00:59,979 --> 00:01:01,237 Die, ants! 23 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,807 Die! Die! 24 00:01:03,832 --> 00:01:06,198 - (ENGINE CLICKING) - So, what'd we say, $400? 25 00:01:06,815 --> 00:01:08,050 Yo, what the hell, man? 26 00:01:08,075 --> 00:01:09,307 - The battery's dead. - Nah. 27 00:01:09,332 --> 00:01:10,503 The battery's fine, okay? 28 00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,409 The problem is the plugs are fouled. 29 00:01:12,434 --> 00:01:14,823 I'll be happy to fix it for you for an extra hundred. 30 00:01:14,848 --> 00:01:17,362 Screw that. Any idiot can fix a boat. 31 00:01:19,237 --> 00:01:20,432 Okay. 32 00:01:20,778 --> 00:01:22,440 Wow. Um... 33 00:01:23,268 --> 00:01:24,800 this is all my scratcher winnings 34 00:01:24,825 --> 00:01:27,432 and my bartending savings plus 20 bucks Rio gave me 35 00:01:27,457 --> 00:01:29,577 so I wouldn't tell his wife I saw him drop their baby. 36 00:01:31,146 --> 00:01:32,557 It's all there. 37 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,778 Well... 38 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,136 it ain't Josh Travis's island party no more. 39 00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:40,042 It is officially Kaitlin Hudd's island party. 40 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,792 - Congrats! - I'm so proud of you, girl. 41 00:01:41,817 --> 00:01:43,948 - Doesn't sound as good. - (PHONE RINGING) 42 00:01:48,698 --> 00:01:49,901 Rot in hell, Devo! 43 00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:51,926 - You're dead to me! - DEVO: Hey, come on, don't... 44 00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:55,073 Pardon my intrusion, 45 00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:57,050 but why does dirty dick Devo 46 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,667 think that he can still utilize your number after we caught him 47 00:01:59,692 --> 00:02:01,354 in a gang bang with Crystal Meth? 48 00:02:01,379 --> 00:02:04,149 Relax. I'm done with that circle-jerking turd. 49 00:02:04,174 --> 00:02:05,901 (PHONE RINGING) 50 00:02:08,467 --> 00:02:10,018 Mm-hmm. 51 00:02:10,043 --> 00:02:11,972 - (PHONE STOPS RINGING) - ERICA: Wattie, 52 00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:13,332 how much for this blanket? 53 00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:15,542 Ew, no. There's ants all over it. 54 00:02:15,567 --> 00:02:17,300 I'm tired of sleeping under that curtain. 55 00:02:17,325 --> 00:02:18,620 I want a real blanket. 56 00:02:18,645 --> 00:02:21,932 Vintage piece like that is gonna run you about $60, $70. 57 00:02:21,957 --> 00:02:23,143 I'll give you five for it. 58 00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:24,332 - Yeah, that's fair. - ERICA: Yo, 59 00:02:24,356 --> 00:02:25,558 can someone spot me five bucks? 60 00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:26,604 I don't have my wallet. 61 00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:28,370 - You don't have a wallet. - Jay? 62 00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:30,159 - Girl, bye. - Come on. Y'all are bartenders. 63 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,831 - Y'all make more money than me. - SHELBY: No. 64 00:02:31,855 --> 00:02:34,394 You still owe me a $1.70 for pizza sticks. 65 00:02:34,419 --> 00:02:35,420 (ERICA SCOFFS) 66 00:02:35,445 --> 00:02:36,847 Um... 67 00:02:37,368 --> 00:02:39,667 Will you take two dollars? 68 00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:40,979 That's all I have. 69 00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:44,268 Now, this is a one-dollar bill 70 00:02:44,604 --> 00:02:46,639 folded up to look like two dollars. 71 00:02:46,664 --> 00:02:49,495 ERICA: Fine. But I hate dipping into my savings account. 72 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,409 (SHELBY SCREAMS) 73 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,972 Hey! Who's on my property? 74 00:02:56,682 --> 00:02:58,818 (DISTANT SNORTING, SQUEALING) 75 00:02:58,843 --> 00:03:01,128 Ah, it's just another wild boar. 76 00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:04,073 I never have any trespassers. 77 00:03:04,746 --> 00:03:06,748 I just want to stand my ground. 78 00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:12,198 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 79 00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,354 Whoa, let's get Pop-Tarts. 80 00:03:18,379 --> 00:03:20,722 Nuh-uh. Too expensive. We're getting Jelly Pocketz. 81 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,729 Do we want Cheery Boys or Dinx? We can't get both. 82 00:03:24,754 --> 00:03:25,754 ALL: Dinx! 83 00:03:25,779 --> 00:03:28,323 "Silly ferret, Dinx are for youngsters." 84 00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:31,852 All right, everybody, cough up grocery money. 85 00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:34,362 Uh, I just spent every cent I had on that boat, 86 00:03:34,387 --> 00:03:38,073 but if y'all want to ride on my boat to my island party, 87 00:03:38,098 --> 00:03:39,254 I get to eat those groceries. 88 00:03:39,278 --> 00:03:41,245 Bam! I got you, girl. 89 00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:45,222 I love being able to support myself entirely as a businesswoman. 90 00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:48,582 I'm so glad to be done relying on married-ass Harold's money. 91 00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:50,566 - Lemonade on me, y'all. - Mm. 92 00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:53,261 That's lemon drink, and you're not a businesswoman. 93 00:03:53,286 --> 00:03:55,215 You've been a bartender for two weeks. 94 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,629 Whatever. It's gonna taste just like lemonade 95 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,224 'cause I bought it with my own earnings. 96 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,574 What? I just gave you money. 97 00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,402 - No, you didn't. - Yeah, I did. 98 00:04:04,427 --> 00:04:06,138 I went before Kaitlin. I went first. 99 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,803 - No, you didn't. It just happened. - Yeah, I did. 100 00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:10,661 All right, fine. But I spent all my money on my blanket, 101 00:04:10,686 --> 00:04:12,626 so if y'all want to use my blanket, 102 00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,317 then I get to eat those groceries. 103 00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,153 No one wants to use your dirty-ass blanket. 104 00:04:16,183 --> 00:04:17,261 I would never put my fine-ass body 105 00:04:17,285 --> 00:04:18,505 - under that thing. - Yeah, no. 106 00:04:18,744 --> 00:04:21,122 Erica, we have to cut you off. 107 00:04:21,147 --> 00:04:22,749 Oh, no, thank you. 108 00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:24,833 Dude, I'm serious. Ever since you moved in, 109 00:04:24,858 --> 00:04:26,756 you've been mooching off us and stealing from us. 110 00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:27,817 I don't steal from y'all. 111 00:04:27,842 --> 00:04:29,434 - And lying about stealing from us. - All the time. 112 00:04:29,458 --> 00:04:32,020 Where'd you get this T-shirt from my old softball team? 113 00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,255 I told you. I rented it from the library. 114 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,091 Ugh. I'm sorry, dude, but you're cut off. 115 00:04:36,791 --> 00:04:37,791 Fine. 116 00:04:37,816 --> 00:04:39,231 I'll take care of myself. 117 00:04:39,644 --> 00:04:41,458 - Okay. - (SCOFFS) Okay. 118 00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:43,319 (KAITLIN LAUGHS) 119 00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:45,153 Oh, hey, Erica. 120 00:04:45,178 --> 00:04:46,975 - You could always go on food stamps. - (LAUGHS) 121 00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:48,591 (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) 122 00:04:48,616 --> 00:04:50,200 The hell are you doing? 123 00:04:50,225 --> 00:04:51,872 Drop that shit. 124 00:04:51,897 --> 00:04:53,499 You are dead meat. 125 00:04:53,524 --> 00:04:55,145 (ERICA GRUNTS) 126 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,794 ERICA: Oh, damn. Ow. 127 00:04:57,552 --> 00:04:59,573 - Drop it! Drop it. - Ow. 128 00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:01,645 Chill out, Debra. 129 00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:03,122 That ain't yours! 130 00:05:03,147 --> 00:05:05,614 - That ain't yours! - Let go of the chips, Erica. 131 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,880 Damn! 132 00:05:09,130 --> 00:05:11,192 Spit that out! Now! 133 00:05:11,217 --> 00:05:13,075 Spit it out. That ain't yours. 134 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,552 Get out of there. 135 00:05:14,577 --> 00:05:16,544 I'm just gonna grab this pamphlet for you, 136 00:05:16,694 --> 00:05:18,849 Erica, just in case. 137 00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:21,175 They want a little bit 138 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,888 Yeah, they want a little bit 139 00:05:23,211 --> 00:05:24,318 They dancin', they movin', yeah 140 00:05:24,342 --> 00:05:26,638 All of these girls want a little bit, like 141 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,770 They want a little bit 142 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,700 Yeah, they want a little bit 143 00:05:30,725 --> 00:05:31,998 They dancin', they movin', yeah 144 00:05:32,022 --> 00:05:33,778 All of these girls want a little bit... 145 00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,763 - Oh, ugh... - What? 146 00:05:37,788 --> 00:05:39,147 I haven't eaten in two days. 147 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,717 (SIGHS) All right, listen, 148 00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:43,647 what if I told you there was a way 149 00:05:43,672 --> 00:05:45,436 that you can eat whatever you want 150 00:05:45,461 --> 00:05:46,773 and you wouldn't have to pay a dime? 151 00:05:46,797 --> 00:05:47,889 I'd say sign me up. 152 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,482 "Sign me up"? I'm glad you said that. 153 00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:52,842 I read this yesterday, and you qualify for food stamps, 154 00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:54,490 so let's go get you signed up. 155 00:05:54,515 --> 00:05:56,484 Uh-uh. I ain't taking no handouts. 156 00:05:56,509 --> 00:05:58,115 What? You mooch off us all the time. 157 00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,232 Put the Dinx down. 158 00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:01,725 Government handouts are different. 159 00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,865 I ain't no welfare queen. That's shameful. 160 00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:06,467 You do realize that you're eating barbecue sauce right now. 161 00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:08,686 Whatever. I don't have to explain myself to you. 162 00:06:08,711 --> 00:06:10,646 Besides, I got a plan to bring in some money. 163 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,022 Is your plan to steal something? 164 00:06:12,047 --> 00:06:13,553 Yeah. So? 165 00:06:19,389 --> 00:06:21,358 - Oh, God. - Ah. 166 00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:23,385 ERICA: Let me know when you throw out the mayo. 167 00:06:26,716 --> 00:06:28,420 (SCOFFS) Wattie was wrong. 168 00:06:28,445 --> 00:06:30,045 There's nothing wrong with the plugs. 169 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,162 He better not have sold me a frickin' lemon. 170 00:06:32,187 --> 00:06:33,667 Well, you know what they say. 171 00:06:33,692 --> 00:06:36,904 When life gives you a lemon, make lemon drink. 172 00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:38,803 - Really? - Mmm. 173 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,568 Financial independence is delicious. 174 00:06:42,052 --> 00:06:43,795 Don't mind me 'cause I'm doing my thing 175 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,115 Better watch it, watch it 176 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,767 Ooh, girl, you know I am not one to pry, 177 00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:50,140 but didn't you just say you was done 178 00:06:50,164 --> 00:06:51,459 with that shady-ass dirtbag? 179 00:06:51,484 --> 00:06:53,873 - I been calling you! - Uh-uh. Get your cheatin' ass 180 00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:55,249 - out of here, Devo! - Why aren't you taking my calls?! 181 00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:56,890 - 'Cause I hate you! Go! - Look at me! 182 00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:58,654 - Go! - I've been crying my eyes out! 183 00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,014 Good. Are we done? 184 00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:01,795 Don't you get on my boat! Oh, my... 185 00:07:02,357 --> 00:07:04,998 If you don't take me back, I'm gonna cut my dick off. 186 00:07:05,023 --> 00:07:06,235 - That's how much I love you. - (LAUGHING) 187 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,995 And you know how much I love my dick! 188 00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,429 Uh, go ahead, cut your dirty dick off. 189 00:07:09,453 --> 00:07:11,804 - All right. I'm gonna do it. - Good. Okay, go for it. 190 00:07:11,829 --> 00:07:13,116 - I'm about to do it right now. - Good. Yeah. Just don't do it 191 00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,280 - on my boat because I'm not - I'm gonna cut my dick off. 192 00:07:14,304 --> 00:07:16,389 - cleaning up your mess! - I'm gonna do it. 193 00:07:19,788 --> 00:07:21,656 - I don't want to do it. - Yeah, that's what I thought. 194 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:22,814 DEVO: Baby, come on. 195 00:07:22,839 --> 00:07:24,108 That gang bang... 196 00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:27,686 that meant nothing to me, all right? 197 00:07:27,711 --> 00:07:28,835 Come on, baby. 198 00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,484 You're my ride or die. 199 00:07:32,806 --> 00:07:34,491 What are you doing with that booster box? 200 00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:35,788 None of your business. 201 00:07:38,313 --> 00:07:40,155 (IGNITION CLICKING) 202 00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:41,749 What are you doing? 203 00:07:42,491 --> 00:07:43,851 Has nothing to do with your battery. 204 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:45,241 It's in your ignition wiring. 205 00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:47,952 Just go do something else. 206 00:07:47,977 --> 00:07:49,233 I'm gonna do this. 207 00:07:49,611 --> 00:07:50,611 Good. 208 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,322 Bitch claimed she done with him. 209 00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:57,322 I'm taking all my stuff back, you klepto. 210 00:07:57,884 --> 00:08:00,229 You took my car dice? (GROANS) 211 00:08:00,254 --> 00:08:02,221 You took my underwear? Ew. 212 00:08:02,246 --> 00:08:04,237 You took Jayla's weave? 213 00:08:04,612 --> 00:08:05,822 - Why? - All right. 214 00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:08,096 Chill out. I'll get on food stamps. 215 00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:10,424 But can we go now? I'm getting lightheaded. 216 00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,135 All I've eaten is sauces today. 217 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,729 Yes, definitely. Let's go now. 218 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,433 You just have to bring your driver's license. 219 00:08:15,457 --> 00:08:16,863 - I don't have one. - But you've driven my car, 220 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:19,138 - like, a billion times. - I don't know what to tell you. 221 00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:21,612 Okay, um, you could also use your passport. 222 00:08:21,637 --> 00:08:22,823 Never mind. There's no way you have that. 223 00:08:22,847 --> 00:08:24,346 Uh... birth certificate? 224 00:08:25,303 --> 00:08:27,073 Everyone that was born has a birth certificate. 225 00:08:27,097 --> 00:08:28,999 - I don't think I have that. - You were born. 226 00:08:29,024 --> 00:08:30,620 Your mom must have your birth certificate. 227 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,065 No way. I'm not dealing with that bitch today. 228 00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:34,947 Okay. Well, if you won't get on food stamps, 229 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,518 then you can't live here anymore. 230 00:08:36,543 --> 00:08:38,045 I'll help you pack your stuff. 231 00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:40,393 There. All done. 232 00:08:40,877 --> 00:08:43,158 Fine. Let's go to my damn mom's. 233 00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:54,697 234 00:08:54,722 --> 00:08:56,580 Ah, Kaitlin. What's he doing here? 235 00:08:56,605 --> 00:08:59,869 Oh, don't worry, girl. She's fully done with him. 236 00:09:00,215 --> 00:09:02,815 Hey, Devo, you got any food or gum or anything? 237 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,002 No, no food. 238 00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,049 Get in the car. 239 00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:07,624 I am done with him, you know. 240 00:09:07,649 --> 00:09:09,455 Oh, sure looks like it. 241 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,002 DEVO: Hey, babe. Muffler. 242 00:09:12,027 --> 00:09:15,127 I'm muff diving. Ah. (LAUGHS) 243 00:09:15,152 --> 00:09:17,987 (LAUGHS) 244 00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:21,823 See, that's how it starts. 245 00:09:21,848 --> 00:09:24,174 First you're laughing at his little muff diving joke, 246 00:09:24,199 --> 00:09:27,643 then he's diving in your muff and every other muff in town. 247 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,119 Jesus, relax. 248 00:09:29,144 --> 00:09:30,813 It was a legit funny joke. 249 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:32,713 He's just fixing my boat, 250 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,640 and then he can go stab himself for all I care. 251 00:09:34,665 --> 00:09:36,612 Oh, you don't care? 252 00:09:36,637 --> 00:09:38,987 So after he cheated on you, it must've been someone else 253 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,010 crying themselves to sleep in the bed next to me. 254 00:09:41,035 --> 00:09:43,237 Yeah, it probably was someone else. 255 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:44,627 I've never cried. 256 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,346 All right, I'm gonna drop it. 257 00:09:46,371 --> 00:09:48,274 Besides, this could be a good thing. 258 00:09:48,299 --> 00:09:50,424 Weren't you saying you were throwing the island party 259 00:09:50,449 --> 00:09:52,643 'cause you wanted everybody to remember your name? 260 00:09:52,668 --> 00:09:54,729 Well, now they definitely will. 261 00:09:55,004 --> 00:09:57,580 Kaitlin Hudd, the punk-ass bitch 262 00:09:57,605 --> 00:10:00,299 that let her man ride the Crystal Meth train. 263 00:10:00,324 --> 00:10:02,198 - Choo-choo. - Jay... 264 00:10:02,857 --> 00:10:05,346 you're playing a very dangerous game right now. 265 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,885 What? I'm excited for you. 266 00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:10,149 A story like this is gonna spread. 267 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,042 They might even know about your chump ass in Tampa. 268 00:10:12,066 --> 00:10:13,463 I'm not a chump! 269 00:10:17,108 --> 00:10:24,108 270 00:10:24,432 --> 00:10:25,635 Hey, Devo! 271 00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:26,807 Yo. 272 00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:28,541 (AIR WHOOSHING) 273 00:10:28,566 --> 00:10:30,003 That's for cheating on me! 274 00:10:30,028 --> 00:10:31,182 Hey! 275 00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:33,213 Oh, my God, you psycho! 276 00:10:33,596 --> 00:10:35,480 - What are you doing? - And that's for cheating on me 277 00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,463 - in front of the Swamp Crew. - Stop! 278 00:10:37,488 --> 00:10:39,588 - Stop. - And that's 'cause I hate you. 279 00:10:39,613 --> 00:10:41,712 - Those are 300 bucks a pop! - Do I look like I care? 280 00:10:41,737 --> 00:10:42,870 - Do I look like someone who cares? - Yeah, well, you should care. 281 00:10:42,894 --> 00:10:44,159 - They're bomb as hell! - (GROANS) I don't care. 282 00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:45,229 Whoa! All right. 283 00:10:45,254 --> 00:10:46,823 Just stop. 284 00:10:47,454 --> 00:10:48,454 I'm done with you. 285 00:10:48,479 --> 00:10:50,423 - Oh, you're done with me. - Your whole thing. 286 00:10:50,448 --> 00:10:53,690 - Okay. Leave. Bye. - I'm done. I am done! 287 00:10:53,715 --> 00:10:54,991 I am done with you. 288 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,135 I'm gonna go bone every girl in town. 289 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,830 Oh, good. Hope you have fun with that. 290 00:10:58,855 --> 00:11:00,846 Yeah, uh, enjoy getting herpes, bro. 291 00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:02,841 - I can't wait for herpes. - I'm sure you can't. 292 00:11:08,783 --> 00:11:10,075 (SIGHS) 293 00:11:10,479 --> 00:11:11,518 You were right. 294 00:11:12,144 --> 00:11:13,416 That felt good. 295 00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:16,893 I just thought maybe you was gonna tell him to leave, 296 00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:19,720 or block his number, but damn... 297 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,612 You scorched the earth. 298 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,119 Ain't nobody gonna call me a chump now. 299 00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:27,682 - Mm-mm. - Okay. 300 00:11:27,707 --> 00:11:30,018 Get your ass up. Help me fix my boat. 301 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:34,065 Hmm... I don't think I'm qualified for that position, 302 00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:36,113 - but thank you for the opportunity. - Uh-uh, uh-uh. 303 00:11:36,137 --> 00:11:37,604 You wanted Devo gone. 304 00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:38,713 He's gone. 305 00:11:39,381 --> 00:11:40,483 Get up! 306 00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:41,993 Damn. 307 00:11:44,298 --> 00:11:45,902 (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) 308 00:11:45,927 --> 00:11:47,408 (SIGHS) Man, 309 00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:50,384 your mom's house has really changed over the years. 310 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,728 Has that hole always been here? 311 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:53,759 Yep. 312 00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:56,900 - Oh. It's great. - CHILD: You're dead! 313 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,580 ERICA: Hey, Tanner. Hey, Morgan. 314 00:11:58,605 --> 00:12:00,127 How's Mom doing today? 315 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,021 She's actually in a good mood. 316 00:12:02,046 --> 00:12:04,220 The check from her asbestos lawsuit came in. 317 00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,689 Tanner! Morgan! 318 00:12:05,714 --> 00:12:09,978 You bring my good knives back here right now, goddamn it. 319 00:12:10,003 --> 00:12:11,423 I told you, 320 00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:14,111 play with the rusty ones in the shed. 321 00:12:16,684 --> 00:12:18,845 Ooh. 322 00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:21,507 Queen came down from her castle, did she? 323 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,173 Get off my lawn. 324 00:12:23,198 --> 00:12:25,158 You don't live here no more. 325 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,673 Ugh, moms. 326 00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:41,963 ANNOUNCER (ON TV): Oh, no, that tub drain is clogged. 327 00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:44,806 Stopped up with hair every time you take a shower. 328 00:12:46,627 --> 00:12:49,494 Those old hair strainers are messy and slimy 329 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,720 and hard to clean. Introducing... 330 00:12:51,745 --> 00:12:52,745 Erica? 331 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,877 Who the fuck are you? 332 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:56,673 Erica's friend. 333 00:12:57,066 --> 00:12:58,564 I was just with her. 334 00:12:58,948 --> 00:13:00,087 Have you seen her? 335 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,185 She went into her fucking stank-ass mom's room. 336 00:13:05,114 --> 00:13:07,434 Just th-through here? Okay. 337 00:13:07,459 --> 00:13:08,459 (CLEARS THROAT) 338 00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:13,996 Thank you. 339 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,707 PEGGY: So now I've got to drop everything I'm doing 340 00:13:16,732 --> 00:13:19,356 'cause your raggedy ass wants her birth certificate? 341 00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:21,793 Get the fuck out of my damn house. 342 00:13:22,807 --> 00:13:23,903 You hear this shit? 343 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,630 But I need my birth certificate. 344 00:13:25,655 --> 00:13:27,082 Too bad, princess. 345 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,082 I need it, too, 'cause I'm trying 346 00:13:29,107 --> 00:13:31,610 to take out some student loans in your name. 347 00:13:31,635 --> 00:13:33,153 But I'm not a student. 348 00:13:33,178 --> 00:13:35,309 Now beat it before I cut you. 349 00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:38,278 And take this Bozo the Clown-looking bitch with you. 350 00:13:38,303 --> 00:13:39,559 Moms. 351 00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:41,395 We've got to get out of here. 352 00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:48,926 Dude, after all that we're not getting my birth certificate? 353 00:13:48,951 --> 00:13:50,113 I've got to get out of here. 354 00:13:50,138 --> 00:13:52,840 I thought I had it rough, but this place is insane. 355 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,832 I feel like I'm in a nightmare. 356 00:13:55,153 --> 00:13:56,501 Is that a raccoon? 357 00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:58,801 - (RACCOON CHITTERS) - Good God. 358 00:13:58,826 --> 00:14:00,504 I can't believe your mom lives like this. 359 00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:03,340 Exactly. This is why I don't take government handouts. 360 00:14:03,365 --> 00:14:04,848 I don't want to end up like my mom. 361 00:14:04,873 --> 00:14:06,754 She's a mean, lazy piece of trash. 362 00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,782 That's why you didn't want food stamps? 363 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:12,091 - What? - Later, Aunt Sis. 364 00:14:12,116 --> 00:14:13,926 Leave it! No! 365 00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:15,854 - It-It's my milk! - (CHUFFING) 366 00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:18,324 - (IGNITION CLICKING) - I knew it. 367 00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:20,528 Nothing wrong with the ignition wiring. 368 00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:22,504 Dirty dick Devo wasting my time. 369 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,754 God. This island party's never gonna happen. 370 00:14:25,779 --> 00:14:28,020 Didn't you say you thought the battery was dead? 371 00:14:28,045 --> 00:14:29,934 Stop listening to all these stupid-ass men 372 00:14:29,959 --> 00:14:31,494 and jump the damn battery! 373 00:14:31,519 --> 00:14:32,707 (PHONE RINGING) 374 00:14:32,732 --> 00:14:34,770 _ 375 00:14:34,795 --> 00:14:36,426 Uh... (LAUGHS) 376 00:14:36,451 --> 00:14:38,293 Pardon my intrusion, 377 00:14:38,318 --> 00:14:41,387 but why does Harold think he can utilize your number 378 00:14:41,412 --> 00:14:43,067 when you found out he was married? 379 00:14:43,488 --> 00:14:44,903 I do not know. 380 00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:46,293 That is so curious. 381 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,012 - Hmm. - I'm gonna pick up, find out 382 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,536 how he's doing. We can chop it up, no big deal. 383 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,934 Are you kidding me?! Whatever happened to, 384 00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,262 "Man, I'm so glad to be done with Harold! 385 00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,621 I love lemon drink! Financial independence"? 386 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,051 Oh, come on! Lemon drink is trash, and you know it! 387 00:14:59,076 --> 00:15:01,418 Stirring that powder all day like a damn fool! 388 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,629 Harold could buy me fresh lemonade. 389 00:15:03,654 --> 00:15:05,699 I want that fresh lemonade life. 390 00:15:05,724 --> 00:15:08,059 And if he leaves his wife, I can have that! 391 00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:09,487 (PHONE CHIMES) 392 00:15:10,486 --> 00:15:12,152 Ooh, he left a voice mail. 393 00:15:12,863 --> 00:15:14,606 I can't believe you called me a chump. 394 00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:17,528 You should be down at Applebee's right now slashing his tires. 395 00:15:17,553 --> 00:15:19,254 Hand me the jumper cables, chump. 396 00:15:19,746 --> 00:15:21,278 At least I'd be a rich chump. 397 00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:22,450 Oh, yeah? Well, I'd rather be poor 398 00:15:22,474 --> 00:15:24,044 than suck grandpa Harold's wrinkled dick. 399 00:15:24,068 --> 00:15:25,837 The dick don't wrinkle when it's hard! 400 00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:26,926 Turn the key. 401 00:15:26,951 --> 00:15:28,219 (ENGINE STARTS) 402 00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:31,071 - (SCREAMING) - Oh, my God! Yes! I did it! 403 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,098 (BOTH LAUGHING) 404 00:15:32,123 --> 00:15:34,434 - You were right the whole time! - I hope you like 405 00:15:34,459 --> 00:15:36,497 getting blackout drunk in the middle of the Gulf, Jay, 406 00:15:36,521 --> 00:15:39,176 'cause Kaitlin Hudd's island party lives on! 407 00:15:39,201 --> 00:15:40,832 - Oh, yeah. - (LAUGHING) 408 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:44,035 - (SCREAMS, LAUGHS) - Man. 409 00:15:44,581 --> 00:15:46,785 All right, here. Listen to your voice mail. 410 00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:48,349 Call him back if you want. I don't care. 411 00:15:48,373 --> 00:15:49,418 No judgment here. 412 00:15:49,443 --> 00:15:50,981 That dude is super rich. 413 00:15:51,778 --> 00:15:53,035 Just, uh... 414 00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:55,207 I think you could do better. 415 00:15:57,812 --> 00:15:58,934 Nah. 416 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,512 If you could fix this boat without a man, 417 00:16:01,537 --> 00:16:04,098 maybe I can get that fresh lemonade life on my own. 418 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,754 - I ain't calling him back. - Good. 419 00:16:06,779 --> 00:16:09,184 But you got to do more than that. Come on. 420 00:16:09,209 --> 00:16:10,294 You know he's just gonna keep calling, 421 00:16:10,318 --> 00:16:12,551 or he's gonna show up here like Devo did, 422 00:16:12,576 --> 00:16:13,622 and you're gonna take him back. 423 00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:15,014 What? Nah. 424 00:16:15,195 --> 00:16:16,997 - Yeah, you're right. - See? 425 00:16:17,022 --> 00:16:20,725 Jay... you got to scorch the earth. 426 00:16:21,111 --> 00:16:22,856 Make him wish he never met you. 427 00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:29,206 Okay. 428 00:16:29,957 --> 00:16:32,395 (BOTH LAUGHING) 429 00:16:33,184 --> 00:16:35,434 Dude, you are not gonna turn into your mom. 430 00:16:35,459 --> 00:16:37,199 Trust me, you are not your mom. 431 00:16:37,224 --> 00:16:38,449 You said so yourself. 432 00:16:38,474 --> 00:16:40,877 I'm a mooch and an idiot and a klepto. 433 00:16:40,902 --> 00:16:43,723 I know I'm a lot like her, and she started with food stamps, 434 00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:45,106 then a fake disability, 435 00:16:45,131 --> 00:16:47,613 then got Morgan, Tanner, Deacon, Gilbert and Shannon 436 00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:50,008 to raise themselves while she collects a foster check. 437 00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:52,252 Girl, I didn't mean all that. 438 00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,379 Come on, you're nothing like your mom. 439 00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:57,910 You're so... s-s-s... 440 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,087 You're s... you're smart? 441 00:17:00,112 --> 00:17:01,547 Mm, no. 442 00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:04,809 But-but you are, you know, uh... 443 00:17:05,418 --> 00:17:07,043 You're really... 444 00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:09,403 Aah. Yeah. 445 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,785 Um, uh... 446 00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,824 Morgan, Tanner, please, uh, help me out. 447 00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:14,113 Is Erica like your mom? 448 00:17:14,138 --> 00:17:16,246 Oh, totally. She's a thief, 449 00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:18,426 kind of lazy, oh, and dumb. Real dumb. 450 00:17:18,451 --> 00:17:21,186 Okay, fine, but she has good qualities, too, right? 451 00:17:21,211 --> 00:17:22,614 Right? Like... 452 00:17:25,790 --> 00:17:28,311 - Well, sometimes she does nice stuff. - Okay. 453 00:17:28,336 --> 00:17:30,499 She always steals us something for our birthdays, 454 00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:32,874 and when Mikey Freeman called me "Foster Boy," 455 00:17:32,899 --> 00:17:34,828 she beat him so hard, he whizzed his pants. 456 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:35,913 Oh, yeah. 457 00:17:35,938 --> 00:17:37,327 Okay. Yeah. See? 458 00:17:37,352 --> 00:17:40,811 You're a really good sister, and you're a really good friend. 459 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,210 You know, you're really good at, 460 00:17:42,234 --> 00:17:45,491 um... Mm, no, but, you know, you-you help... 461 00:17:45,516 --> 00:17:47,152 You help... Mm. 462 00:17:47,177 --> 00:17:48,249 Eh... 463 00:17:48,813 --> 00:17:50,155 You know what? No. Forget it. 464 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:51,975 The point is, it's okay 465 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,718 to take a little help from the government, right? 466 00:17:53,742 --> 00:17:56,530 Because your mom is not a monster 'cause of food stamps. 467 00:17:56,555 --> 00:17:59,928 Your mom is just a monster, and you survived that. 468 00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,397 That's really impressive. 469 00:18:01,422 --> 00:18:03,911 Oh, hey, that's something good about you. 470 00:18:03,936 --> 00:18:05,256 - Yeah, you're right. - Yeah. 471 00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:08,022 I do have lots of good qualities, like... 472 00:18:10,584 --> 00:18:11,686 Uh... 473 00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:13,014 It's hard, right? 474 00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:14,889 Whatever. Let's go get my birth certificate. 475 00:18:14,914 --> 00:18:16,819 Oh, I know where it is. 476 00:18:16,844 --> 00:18:19,147 Of course, you have to do something for me first. 477 00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:22,207 - God, this family is just... - Since you moved out, 478 00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:24,342 Mickey Freeman's been picking on me again, 479 00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:25,913 calling me "Foster Boy" 480 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,173 and throwing rocks at me. 481 00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:28,834 All right, I'll go kick his ass. 482 00:18:29,298 --> 00:18:31,334 What are you doing? What? 483 00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,733 My money's going up 484 00:18:36,729 --> 00:18:38,755 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - My money's going up... 485 00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,647 No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no. 486 00:18:40,672 --> 00:18:42,069 You know what time it is 487 00:18:42,094 --> 00:18:43,730 It's tee up time, I'm a chauffeur 488 00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,497 I'm a lioness, I take pride in this 489 00:18:45,522 --> 00:18:47,226 I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't strive for best 490 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,881 I want success like a hunger 491 00:18:48,906 --> 00:18:50,631 Do what I want like a stunner 492 00:18:50,656 --> 00:18:52,338 Don't play with me, call me richey 493 00:18:52,363 --> 00:18:54,256 Had a few on my side, now a sitsy 494 00:18:54,281 --> 00:18:57,443 First class, getting nitty, toss that like deity 495 00:18:57,468 --> 00:18:59,459 Take a loss and got a bank 496 00:18:59,484 --> 00:19:01,119 Now my money's filthy 497 00:19:01,144 --> 00:19:02,479 They say I wouldn't make it 498 00:19:02,504 --> 00:19:04,040 In this world on my own 499 00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:05,952 So I did it with some bosses 500 00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,697 Played they game where they pulled me on 501 00:19:08,085 --> 00:19:09,287 I call the shots 502 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,419 Count every dollar, dime 503 00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:12,639 Don't trust no one 504 00:19:12,664 --> 00:19:15,108 They try to take what is mine 505 00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:18,170 - I call the shots - I gotta stay on my grind 506 00:19:18,384 --> 00:19:19,467 Don't trust no one 507 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,624 They gotta pay me for my time 508 00:19:21,965 --> 00:19:23,167 I call the shots 509 00:19:23,192 --> 00:19:25,389 Count every dollar, dime 510 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,436 Don't trust no one 511 00:19:26,461 --> 00:19:28,931 They try to take what is mine 512 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,780 Keep the chips. 513 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:36,249 (BOTH LAUGHING) 514 00:19:38,913 --> 00:19:40,483 I am awesome. 515 00:19:40,508 --> 00:19:43,702 And because I'm awesome, we now have a boat. 516 00:19:44,468 --> 00:19:45,944 (SCREAMING, WHOOPING) 517 00:19:45,969 --> 00:19:46,983 - Yeah! - Yeah! 518 00:19:47,008 --> 00:19:48,905 - Now let's eat, bitches! - KAITLIN: Yeah! 519 00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:49,936 - Yeah! - (WHOOPS) 520 00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:51,566 Okay, we have Pop-Tarts, we got Trix. 521 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,944 We got Cheez-Its. We got Bagel Bites, we got lemonade! 522 00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:57,991 - Lemonade! - (SCREAMING, LAUGHING) 523 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,420 Mmm. Ooh, that's fresh to death. 524 00:20:03,181 --> 00:20:05,217 And I didn't even have to blow Harold for it. 525 00:20:05,242 --> 00:20:06,866 - That's right. - Girl. Oh. 526 00:20:06,891 --> 00:20:08,975 Yo, did you ever listen to that idiot's voice mail? 527 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,389 Mm. Nah. Y'all want to hear 528 00:20:11,414 --> 00:20:13,319 a married old man beg for a booty call? 529 00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,358 - Yup. - Yeah. 530 00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:15,444 (LAUGHING) 531 00:20:15,469 --> 00:20:18,858 HAROLD: Hey, Jay. Baby, I miss you. 532 00:20:19,029 --> 00:20:22,600 I just wanted to tell you that I, uh, left my wife, and... 533 00:20:23,007 --> 00:20:25,155 I don't know. I just miss you so much. 534 00:20:25,403 --> 00:20:28,209 I really want to see you, baby. Call me. 535 00:20:31,065 --> 00:20:34,717 Wait. So he left this before you smashed his windows? 536 00:20:35,264 --> 00:20:36,671 Yeah. 537 00:20:58,831 --> 00:21:00,889 - Yeah. Yeah, it's good. - It is. 538 00:21:00,914 --> 00:21:02,077 Yeah, this... 539 00:21:02,102 --> 00:21:03,780 - Yeah. Want some of this? - Yeah. 540 00:21:04,136 --> 00:21:05,397 Mmm. 541 00:21:05,422 --> 00:21:06,523 SHELBY: Mmm. 542 00:21:07,106 --> 00:21:08,631 - Oh, my God. - Mmm. 543 00:21:08,656 --> 00:21:09,811 It's really good. 544 00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:11,038 Oh, my God. 545 00:21:12,913 --> 00:21:14,913 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 546 00:21:14,963 --> 00:21:19,513 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39506

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