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1
00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:05,899
- Thank you so much for doing this.
- Oh, no worries at all.
2
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,619
You guys are doing me a favour.
3
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:11,219
- Mum!
- I'm going to give you Greg's keys.
4
00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:12,930
- Um, I've left another set in the bedside drawer.
- Mum!
5
00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:14,019
Oh great.
6
00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:16,299
Um, I've left instructions
for Meg's food on the fridge
7
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,939
but basically it's just a
scoop of dry food at six,
8
00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,019
and she can have liver
paste on weekends.
9
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,259
Friday night liver paste. Party time.
10
00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:24,699
Mum!
11
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,819
- Mum! Mum!
- Ah, yes, Max?
12
00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:29,499
Who's that guy?
13
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:34,259
Oh, um, so this is Ben, sweetie.
14
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,099
He's taking care of
Meggy while we're away.
15
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,100
Ah, what else?
16
00:01:38,101 --> 00:01:40,099
Um, oh, eat anything you
can find in the fridge,
17
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,100
otherwise it'll just go off.
18
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,619
A- wesome, awesome,
thank you.- OK.
19
00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,979
So how did you get such
a good rating, by the way?
20
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,379
I mean, you have way more reviews
than anyone else on the site.
21
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:49,380
Yeah, right.
22
00:01:49,381 --> 00:01:52,339
Ah, well, at the moment I'm trying
to save a little bit of money
23
00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:53,739
so when I found a website
24
00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:56,779
where people let you house sit
for free, I was like, sweet.
25
00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:59,779
I'll just break my lease
and do this instead.
26
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,859
So, yeah, stacked a heap
of good reviews already.
27
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,099
About three places this
month alone actually, so...
28
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,339
So you broke your lease?
29
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:09,259
Yeah. Yep.
30
00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:12,739
Sorry, are... are you home...
31
00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:16,060
- Well...
- Do you not have a home?
32
00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:20,139
I'm... I'm joking, Tess.
33
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,139
Yeah, I travel down from
Brisbane a lot for work.
34
00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:24,219
Oh, thank God.
35
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,299
Sorry, for a second there
I thought you were mental.
36
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,939
- Nope.
- MAN: Tess, where's my Kindle?
37
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,539
It's in the office.
38
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,900
I'm in the office and I can't see it.
39
00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,340
Hey, Max.
40
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,219
How're you doing, mate?
41
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:43,019
You alright? I like your t-shirt.
42
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:45,899
I'm more into Iron Man myself.
43
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,819
No hard feelings though, I hope?
44
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,060
Will you sleep in my room?
45
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,899
Ah, yeah.
46
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,779
Yeah, if that's OK with you,
I can sleep in your room.
47
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,139
That sounds awesome.
48
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:58,179
- Mum! Mum!
- No, no.
49
00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:00,259
- No, no, it's OK. Shh!
- Mum! Mum!
50
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:02,979
It's alright. I won't sleep
there. I can sleep anywhere.
51
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:06,139
- Mum! Mum!
- Oh, look, let's get some keys.
52
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:08,459
- How cool are keys?
- Mum!
53
00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:11,019
- It's OK. Don't...
- Mum!
54
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:14,379
- Alright, we're gonna wait.
- Mum!
55
00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:17,899
- Mum!
- Tess!
56
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:21,619
Mum! Mum!
57
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,579
Mum!
58
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,659
Your house is too big, mate.
59
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,659
Mum!
60
00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:31,540
- Tess!
- Mum!
61
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,859
Mm, I like it, but I think
prefer the first version,
62
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,499
so can we go back?
63
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,019
OK, no problem.
64
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:41,499
Thank you.
65
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,460
(PHONE RINGS)
66
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:52,739
Hi.
67
00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:54,539
Hey, hi.
68
00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:56,339
How are you?
69
00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:58,779
Um, good. I'm at work.
70
00:04:58,780 --> 00:04:59,980
Cool, cool.
71
00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:07,139
- What's up?
- Oh, ah, just double-checking.
72
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,499
I'm still taking you to the
gestational diabetes test
73
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,299
- next Wednesday?
- Yeah.
74
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:16,260
Awesome. Awesome. Can't wait.
75
00:05:19,260 --> 00:05:23,659
Yeah, oh, you don't need a
lift home from work today maybe?
76
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,179
No, I am all good.
77
00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:27,100
OK, sweet.
78
00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:29,659
Um... I gotta go.
79
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,579
Yeah, yeah, of course.
80
00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:33,939
OK, bye.
81
00:05:33,940 --> 00:05:35,579
Wait, wait, wait. Beck.
82
00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:37,819
- Beck?
- What?
83
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:39,419
Yoga.
84
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,659
Yeah, what about it?
85
00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:44,939
- It is good for pregnancy.
- OK.
86
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:48,019
I just thought that
it might be something
87
00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,379
we could possibly do together.
88
00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:53,299
- Um...
- I already do yoga.
89
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,859
- You know that.
- Oh, that's right.
90
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:59,179
Yeah, no, I must have...
I must have forgotten that.
91
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,180
That's right.
92
00:06:00,181 --> 00:06:03,659
Would you like to come
to yoga with me, Ben?
93
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,779
Yeah. If you want me to.
94
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,739
OK, sure. It's Tuesday night. 80 bucks.
95
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,859
Is that Australian dollars?
96
00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:11,979
It's a small class.
97
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,659
OK.
98
00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:15,339
Um...
99
00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:16,579
I can pay for you.
100
00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:19,339
Actually, ah, I just
remembered, I can't.
101
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:23,500
On Tuesday night I'm,
um, learning, how to swim.
102
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:27,339
- You already know how to swim, Ben.
- Refresher course. I'm just...
103
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,459
- I gotta go.
- Wait, Beck. Beck.
104
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,700
- Beck.
- What?
105
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:35,660
I just need you to
let yourself be helped.
106
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,100
Beck!
107
00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:58,739
Excuse me, Sarah Cummings,
108
00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:01,139
would you like to come to this
show with me on the weekend?
109
00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:04,819
Yes, Nina Walton, I might
possibly want to do that.
110
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,979
It's called The Male Glaze,
111
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:10,539
and it is a Feminist
Ceramics Exhibition.
112
00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:12,739
Well, yes, please, Nina.
113
00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:16,539
I think I would like
to go to Male Glaze,
114
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:18,779
a Feminist Ceramics Exhibition with you.
115
00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:21,659
Well, this is excellent news, Sarah.
116
00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:23,899
I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
117
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:26,220
We are gonna have a great time.
118
00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:31,059
I would also like to say
that you have beautiful hair
119
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:32,419
and I am in love with you.
120
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:33,899
Whoa, OK.
121
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:38,099
Well, to be honest, think you
may have misread the signals here.
122
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,179
Mm.
123
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:42,739
Dale, my boyfriend,
is sitting right there.
124
00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:44,059
No!
125
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,379
OK, my mistake.
126
00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:47,779
Fair enough.
127
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:49,579
Very embarrassing for me.
128
00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:52,019
Dale, I apologise.
129
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:56,379
As an olive branch I'd also like
to invite you to the art show.
130
00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:58,059
- No thanks.
- OK.
131
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,579
That's a no from Dale.
132
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,019
Driver, would you like to come?
133
00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:03,099
Yes, please.
134
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,859
I'd love to go to Male Glaze,
135
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,899
a Feminist Ceramics
Art Exhibition with you.
136
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:11,339
Thank you, driver. You are very kind.
137
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,899
And you also have a lovely broad back
138
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:15,859
and I am in love with you.
139
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,819
No, Nina, again.
140
00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,899
Think you may have
misread the signs there.
141
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,139
No.
142
00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:24,139
Just because someone wants to go
with you to the art show doesn't...
143
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:26,019
Doesn't mean we're in love.
144
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,620
It's very confusing, isn't it?
145
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,660
Well, fine.
146
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,379
I guess I'll just have
to return those gifts
147
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,179
I bought for you guys then.
148
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,779
OK, and what gifts were they?
149
00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:41,619
Diamonds, Sarah. Motherfucking diamonds.
150
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,100
- Oh, sounds expensive.
- Blood diamonds.
151
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,979
Wow, OK. Well, that is
pretty controversial.
152
00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:51,579
- Yeah.
- Wait. When is this thing?
153
00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:54,139
Ah, it is on Saturday.
154
00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,579
Dale's keen.
155
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:57,739
No, we have Joe's barbecue.
156
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,379
Oh.
157
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:00,939
OK.
158
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,819
Ah, do I really have to go to that?
159
00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:05,659
Yes. It's his birthday.
160
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,019
OK, but I barely even know him.
161
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:11,179
Well, he's my best friend, Sarah.
162
00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,499
What?
163
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,099
No, he's not.
164
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:17,819
- Since when is Joe your best friend?
- He's like a brother to me, Sarah.
165
00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:21,100
(STIFLES LAUGHTER)
166
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,259
Well, shit.
167
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:28,019
Guess I have to go to Dale's
best friend's birthday.
168
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,459
That's cool.
169
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:32,500
I guess it'll just be
me and broad back driver.
170
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:37,259
Ah, is this alright, guys?
171
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:40,260
- Yeah, I'm jumping out here.
- We're not.
172
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:59,500
(GIGGLES)
173
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,300
Why are you always like that with her?
174
00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:12,500
- Like what?
- Like... different.
175
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:15,940
- What are you talking about?
- It's annoying.
176
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,820
You're being ridiculous.
177
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,939
You know, you become different
178
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,939
when I hang out with
my friends too, Dale.
179
00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:26,819
- Like, do I?
- Yeah.
180
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,659
Right. How's that, Sarah?
181
00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:30,059
You become a dick.
182
00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:33,939
(SCOFFS) OK. Cool.
183
00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:36,420
Thanks for that, Sarah. Forget
that it's always my fault.
184
00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:41,019
Really eased the mood in here.
Great conflict resolution.
185
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,660
Did you find us annoying, driver?
186
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,900
- No, not at all.
- He has to say that.
187
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,100
But what about this, Lynda?
188
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:14,301
If you were to learn
that I was made of rubber
189
00:11:14,302 --> 00:11:16,539
and you were made of glue,
190
00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:20,299
and everything you said just
bounced off me and stuck to you,
191
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:24,019
would or could that change
your opinion on all of this?
192
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:29,099
Well, Julie, I could run the
tests again with that in mind.
193
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:33,619
However, my instinct from
a medical point of view
194
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:35,500
is that the results would be the same.
195
00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,579
I would still have cancer, you think?
196
00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:40,900
I'm afraid so, yes.
197
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,820
But you wouldn't, which is excellent.
198
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,180
(SOBS)
199
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,340
(SNIFFS)
200
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,419
- Sorry, Julie?
- Yeah?
201
00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:31,340
- Just need to, um...
- Oh, sorry? Yeah, of course. Sorry.
202
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,419
How's your day going, Julie?
203
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:42,980
Oh, you know, say just
short of perfection.
204
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,820
- It's all peaking today, huh?
- Mm-hm.
205
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,379
- Headed back to work?
- I am.
206
00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:53,819
- Can I ask what you do?
- Of course.
207
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:56,059
Yeah, ah, I work for a guy.
208
00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:58,579
You may have heard of him. Satan.
209
00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:01,419
(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah, and where's that?
210
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,979
At Premier Luxury Travel.
211
00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:07,139
Sydney's number one
boutique travel agency.
212
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:08,379
Right.
213
00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:11,259
Is there much of a skill
crossover between luxury travel
214
00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:12,819
and Satan's previous job?
215
00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:15,939
Oh, I didn't think so at first,
but he's just bought a yacht.
216
00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:17,380
Joke's on me.
217
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:22,660
And what's your role?
218
00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:26,179
I organise holidays for fat men
219
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,739
and the young women they
leave their wives for.
220
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:32,099
Right. Is that demanding?
221
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,619
Oh, it's OK.
222
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,739
I just keep some broken
glass in the bottom drawer
223
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,740
that I swallow during the 3pm slump.
224
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,179
Well, you know, I don't
offer this to everyone,
225
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:43,219
but since you're having
such a perfect day,
226
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:45,739
I'd be more than happy to
call in sick on your behalf.
227
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:48,179
- And how exactly would that work?
- Oh, it's easy.
228
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,019
Last week I, ah, called a lady's boss
229
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:52,139
to say that my wife,
Fiona, had diarrhoea.
230
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:55,139
(LAUGHS) What, she can't
use the phone with diarrhoea?
231
00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:58,220
- I didn't write the script.
- Well, it's not bad.
232
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,140
But I think I got a better idea.
233
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:12,499
Hey, Francis, it's Julie here.
234
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,779
Could I speak to Jonathan, please?
235
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:15,900
Thanks, darl.
236
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:20,860
Jonathan, hi.
237
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,699
Yeah.
238
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:25,939
I'm fine, thanks.
239
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,179
Ah listen I just wanted
to give you a quick call.
240
00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:30,940
I just wanted to let you know, I quit.
241
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,019
Yeah.
242
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:35,299
Yeah, I am serious.
243
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:38,139
And secondly, I just wanted to
tell you to go fuck yourself.
244
00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:40,339
You made me miss my
daughter's Easter bonnet parade
245
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:43,260
because I wouldn't kiss you at
the Tourism Exchange, so fuck you.
246
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,379
Oh, thank you!
247
00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:51,779
No, thank... Thank you.
248
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:54,619
No, we do not need to talk
about this anymore, OK?
249
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:55,980
Goodbye, Jonathan.
250
00:15:00,140 --> 00:15:02,579
- Holy shit.
- (LAUGHS)
251
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:04,419
Whoa.
252
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,179
OK.
253
00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:09,299
- That was amazing.
- Yeah.
254
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,260
- Yeah, it was.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
255
00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:16,419
- What's your name?
- Ben.
256
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:18,419
Ben.
257
00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:20,020
God, I feel so much better now.
258
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:24,059
So you... you wanna change destination?
259
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:27,060
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
260
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:36,540
Do I really only have 4.3 stars?
261
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,180
Yup, afraid so.
262
00:15:40,380 --> 00:15:42,899
Does it say why I lost points?
263
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,739
No, but it's usually just
from one grumpy driver
264
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:47,980
who had to wait a little while
for you to get in the car.
265
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:53,299
Or could it be because I once did
a little wee in the back of a car?
266
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,619
It wasn't very much.
267
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,859
I was just stuck on the M5 and
I couldn't... I couldn't hold it.
268
00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:00,139
- Oh, um...
- Would that lose me points?
269
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:01,580
That tiny wee?
270
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:05,819
Well, you... yeah, actually,
it probably was that.
271
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:10,019
Jesus Christ, Ben, I'm joking. (LAUGHS)
272
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,339
- Who do you think I am?
- I don't know.
273
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:15,659
- I thought maybe...
- What? Finish that sentence.
274
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,899
- What did you think?
- It was a UTI.
275
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:20,539
A UTI? I'm not a cat.
276
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,019
- I could still control myself.
- Sorry.
277
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:25,539
Oh, come on, mate. Get it together.
278
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:28,699
- (MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
- Uh-oh.
279
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:30,619
- Jonathan?
- No, no.
280
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:31,900
No, it's my husband.
281
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,060
Heya.
282
00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:39,140
- Hello, you there?
- Yeah.
283
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,579
Did you call me not to talk to me?
284
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,659
You just... you really made
it hard for me this morning.
285
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:49,339
You know what it's
like here at the moment.
286
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:51,459
I don't even know
what I did, sweetheart.
287
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:53,059
You do too.
288
00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:54,659
You think I didn't listen to you.
289
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:56,299
You didn't listen to me.
290
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,219
I was just trying to
get out of the house.
291
00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,820
Yeah, you always do it.
292
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:03,659
Well, I am sorry.
293
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,819
What was it you were trying to say?
294
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:08,299
I was just gonna say
that the spotted dove
295
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,819
has come back to the garden.
296
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,019
- Oh, has it?
- Yeah.
297
00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:13,939
I'd only seen one lately.
298
00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:16,339
Thought the other one might have died.
299
00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:18,979
But they're both here now.
300
00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:20,339
Oh, that's great.
301
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,979
Well, it sounds dumb now, doesn't it?
302
00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:25,739
No, it doesn't.
303
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:29,059
- Anyway, I better get back to it.
- OK.
304
00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:31,339
OK. Are you... are you OK?
305
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:32,899
Yeah, I'm just... I'll see you tonight.
306
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,220
OK, see you.
307
00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:38,580
Cry baby.
308
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:43,180
So where to next, Julie?
309
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,140
Let's just drive.
310
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:53,660
♪ I can't seem to find my footing ♪
311
00:17:57,220 --> 00:18:02,580
♪ Mind just never settles down ♪
312
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,980
♪ I try in every way ♪
313
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:11,980
♪ I just want to seize the day ♪
314
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,940
♪ But you call me every day ♪
315
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:20,740
♪ And it's nice to know but it bugs me ♪
316
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,060
♪ You call me every day ♪
317
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,260
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
318
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,020
I seduced a clown at that house.
319
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:42,499
Sorry, what was that?
320
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,459
At a party when I was 25.
321
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,019
I slept with a clown.
322
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:49,379
I have so many questions.
323
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,819
Ah, what... Had you hired the clown?
324
00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:55,419
No, Ben, I had not hired
a clown to sleep with.
325
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,099
Well, I don't know
how these things work.
326
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,419
What, was he there to entertain?
327
00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:00,819
No, he was an off-duty clown.
328
00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:02,339
Right, so no costume.
329
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,339
He didn't spray you in the
face with a fake flower?
330
00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:08,139
He... he was a French clown.
331
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,979
He was very well dressed.
332
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:11,220
Very attractive.
333
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:14,259
Was he funny?
334
00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:16,099
No, not at all.
335
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,579
He was very unhappy, actually.
336
00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,780
A sad and beautiful French clown.
337
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,939
- Oh, like that story.
- What story?
338
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:28,899
- About the man who goes to the doctor.
- Go on.
339
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,779
So a man goes to the doctor and
says, "Doctor, please help me.
340
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:34,579
I'm very depressed and
I don't know what to do."
341
00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:36,539
And the doctor says, "Well
I know just the thing.
342
00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:40,339
There's a clown in town.
Why don't you go and see him?
343
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:43,019
He is bound to cheer you up."
344
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:46,059
The man looks up and says,
"Well, that's great, Doctor.
345
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,979
There's one problem.
346
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,859
I'm afraid the clown is me."
347
00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:52,339
Yes, I do know that one.
348
00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:54,139
- It was very profound.
- Mm.
349
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:57,139
But do you know how
that story actually ends?
350
00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:58,140
How?
351
00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:00,379
Well, the guy says, "That clown is me",
352
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:02,739
and then the doctor
says, "Well, that's great,
353
00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:04,019
because I'm Julie Mortimer
354
00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:05,939
and I'm gonna fuck you,
sad little French boy."
355
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:07,460
Jesus Christ! (LAUGHS)
356
00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:11,340
People are always forgetting
that part of the fable.
357
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:18,739
- (HORN BEEPING) MAN: Oi!
- What the hell?
358
00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:20,819
Fucking Uber wanker, you cut me off!
359
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,099
- What are you talking about?
- On the freeway, cockhead!
360
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,379
I indicated!
361
00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:26,019
I wasn't even on the freeway!
362
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,779
Oh, fuckin' bullshit, mate. Fuck you.
363
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,539
Fuck the lot of ya!
And fuck your dog, too!
364
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,339
Why don't you go and get
your blood pressure...
365
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:35,219
- Oh, whatever.
- Does that always happen?
366
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:36,819
- Some fuckin'...
- I'm really sorry about that.
367
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:37,859
No, it's not your fault.
368
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:40,099
No, you know what, I might
actually take that sign down.
369
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,860
That way they won't
know I was... an Uber.
370
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,219
Oh, hello. What the fuck do you want?
371
00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:52,300
- Ohh!
- Woof.
372
00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:03,900
- Oh, shit!
- We should probably go.
373
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,100
Fuckin' Uber!
374
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,939
Now can you make anything of this?
375
00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:16,819
Hmm, you could do "canoe"
over the double word.
376
00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:18,819
Yeah, I know that. I was about to.
377
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,379
Mm-hm. Jesus.
378
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,099
- Margaret is getting demolished.
- Yeah, that's my mum.
379
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,499
No mercy.
380
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,379
She was made to finish school at Year 9.
381
00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:28,900
She's got a rubbish vocabulary.
382
00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:32,459
And... send.
383
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:34,619
Hey, Julie, ah...
384
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:36,099
Mm?
385
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:40,020
What made you... why'd you
quit your job? Why today?
386
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,219
Ah...
387
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:44,340
Well...
388
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:48,460
Um, to be honest, I, uh...
389
00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:52,140
I just got some bad news from my doctor.
390
00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:57,739
- Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
- Mm. Yeah.
391
00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:59,619
I, um, been having these tests lately
392
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:01,059
and they thought I was in the clear,
393
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:06,979
but it turns out that I've
got this rare condition.
394
00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,420
Oh, God.
395
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,019
And it started because
396
00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:12,859
I got these strange gurgling
noises in my stomach.
397
00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:13,860
Right.
398
00:22:13,861 --> 00:22:16,059
And I thought I was gluten intolerant
399
00:22:16,060 --> 00:22:18,619
but it turns out that when
my mum was pregnant with me,
400
00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,019
she didn't know it, she didn't know it
401
00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:21,259
but she'd actually conceived twins.
402
00:22:21,260 --> 00:22:22,260
Oh, right.
403
00:22:22,261 --> 00:22:26,219
And I as a foetus absorbed
my twin's entire body.
404
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,939
- Shit, I've heard of that.
- Yeah.
405
00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:31,059
And, um, what they think's happening now
406
00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:33,339
is that my sister's hand
is still growing inside me
407
00:22:33,340 --> 00:22:35,819
and every now and again it
just squeezes at my insides
408
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,940
and that's what causes the gurgling.
409
00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:42,419
Oh, God, that's terrible.
410
00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:44,219
Yeah, that would be terrible,
wouldn't it? (LAUGHS)
411
00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:48,299
- Oh, come on!
- Are you completely insane?
412
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,059
Like, are you OK? Should
you be allowed to drive?
413
00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:52,899
Come on, I was being nice then.
414
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,539
I thought we'd bonded.
415
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,619
What are you talking about?
416
00:22:56,620 --> 00:22:58,499
You're my Uber driver, Ben.
417
00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:00,779
I'm not going to open up to
you about my personal life.
418
00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,539
- Hey, you told me about the clown.
- Oh, that is true.
419
00:23:03,540 --> 00:23:04,699
Did you wanna come in?
420
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,899
'Cause we could have a sleepover
and braid each other's hair.
421
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,460
I think I forgot my PJs.
422
00:23:12,820 --> 00:23:15,940
- CHILD: It's so hot!
- OK.
423
00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:20,980
- Ooh, I gotta get going.
- OK, Julie.
424
00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:25,780
- It's been good.
- Yeah.
425
00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:29,419
You have a good life.
426
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:30,939
You too.
427
00:23:30,940 --> 00:23:32,060
Thanks.
428
00:23:33,820 --> 00:23:37,099
Hey, how's my bubbas?
429
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,939
Come here. I came home early today.
430
00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:41,660
Are you guys good?
431
00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:48,939
♪ Charging headlong ♪
432
00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:53,179
♪ I don't know where I'm going ♪
433
00:23:53,180 --> 00:23:57,619
♪ Take me, I'm afraid ♪
434
00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:59,939
♪ How can you be real? ♪
435
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:03,500
♪ Brush skin... ♪
436
00:24:05,940 --> 00:24:09,099
- Hi.
- Hi.
437
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:12,419
Sorry, I promise I was
literally in the area.
438
00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:14,179
Is everything OK?
439
00:24:14,180 --> 00:24:16,139
Yeah, yeah, totally fine.
440
00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:19,819
I, ah, yeah, I just
wanted to say I'm sorry.
441
00:24:19,820 --> 00:24:20,940
What for?
442
00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:25,619
I've been... needy.
443
00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:30,819
Ah, me coming here is
also... a bit needy.
444
00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:34,739
But it is the last thing that I'll do.
445
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:38,099
So, yeah, I'm sorry for
being so in your face.
446
00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:43,139
From now on, I'll leave you
be, unless you ask otherwise.
447
00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:44,659
OK. Thanks.
448
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:46,939
(RATTLING)
449
00:24:46,940 --> 00:24:50,179
Oh, looks like you've got company.
I will get out of your hair.
450
00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:51,419
- Hi!
- Hi.
451
00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,579
- Hi.
- How's it going?
452
00:24:53,580 --> 00:24:55,259
What are you guys up to?
453
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:58,819
We're just building a nappy
change table like champions.
454
00:24:58,820 --> 00:25:00,860
Well, I am. Beck's useless.
455
00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:04,419
Oh, yeah, ah, cool.
456
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,859
Oh, it's super easy.
457
00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:08,419
Josie was already here
and she offered, so...
458
00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:11,300
No, that's cool. Great.
459
00:25:12,340 --> 00:25:14,539
OK. Um...
460
00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:18,660
Well, you guys have fun.
I will leave you to it.
461
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:22,819
- Ben!
- Yeah?
462
00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:26,259
Do you wanna come in for
a cup of tea or something?
463
00:25:26,260 --> 00:25:28,419
Ah, no, no, no.
464
00:25:28,420 --> 00:25:30,499
I've got to go and feed Meg the cat.
465
00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:31,820
Um...
466
00:25:33,580 --> 00:25:37,300
Yeah, I'll... I'll speak
to you whenever, I guess.
467
00:25:57,300 --> 00:25:58,380
Dammit.
468
00:26:03,580 --> 00:26:07,619
Hey, ah, ah, do you
guys wanna go for a swim?
469
00:26:07,620 --> 00:26:12,299
The, ah, the Taylors have a
pool and it's heated, I think.
470
00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:15,459
If you and Josie wanted to,
once you're... you're finished,
471
00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:18,059
ah, we could all head over.
472
00:26:18,060 --> 00:26:20,140
Or I mean, tomorrow, or whenever.
473
00:26:23,980 --> 00:26:25,579
Josie?
474
00:26:25,580 --> 00:26:27,380
Do you wanna go for a swim?
475
00:26:28,780 --> 00:26:29,780
Yeah.
476
00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:32,980
Yeah.
477
00:26:34,540 --> 00:26:36,260
OK. Well...
478
00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:40,619
Why don't you come in and
help us with this thing
479
00:26:40,620 --> 00:26:42,619
and then we'll go.
480
00:26:42,620 --> 00:26:44,939
Yeah, awesome. Thanks.
481
00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:47,219
- OK.
- Oop.
482
00:26:47,220 --> 00:26:49,780
- Sorry about that.
- Oh, just shut up.
483
00:26:55,910 --> 00:26:57,469
So what do you think of Beck's friends?
484
00:26:57,470 --> 00:26:58,789
You were trying to trick me
485
00:26:58,790 --> 00:27:00,709
into saying that Beck's
friends are shallow.
486
00:27:00,710 --> 00:27:03,509
Ah, Ben, this is my stepbrother, Clint.
487
00:27:03,510 --> 00:27:04,629
Nice to finally meet you.
488
00:27:04,630 --> 00:27:07,029
- I just want to say congratulations.
- Do you follow the rugby at all, Mike?
489
00:27:07,030 --> 00:27:09,229
Sorry, would you mind
if we just didn't speak?
490
00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:12,629
I think my, ah, neighbour has died.
491
00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:14,309
- What, that's the cops?
- Yeah, they're always here.
492
00:27:14,310 --> 00:27:16,069
- What if they search the car?
- Actually, you know what?
493
00:27:16,070 --> 00:27:17,669
- You might be right.
- Yeah, then turn around!
494
00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:19,150
- We can't. They've already us.
- Shit.
495
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,800
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35493
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