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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:05,899 - Thank you so much for doing this. - Oh, no worries at all. 2 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,619 You guys are doing me a favour. 3 00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:11,219 - Mum! - I'm going to give you Greg's keys. 4 00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:12,930 - Um, I've left another set in the bedside drawer. - Mum! 5 00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:14,019 Oh great. 6 00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:16,299 Um, I've left instructions for Meg's food on the fridge 7 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,939 but basically it's just a scoop of dry food at six, 8 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,019 and she can have liver paste on weekends. 9 00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,259 Friday night liver paste. Party time. 10 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:24,699 Mum! 11 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,819 - Mum! Mum! - Ah, yes, Max? 12 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:29,499 Who's that guy? 13 00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:34,259 Oh, um, so this is Ben, sweetie. 14 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,099 He's taking care of Meggy while we're away. 15 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,100 Ah, what else? 16 00:01:38,101 --> 00:01:40,099 Um, oh, eat anything you can find in the fridge, 17 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,100 otherwise it'll just go off. 18 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,619 A- wesome, awesome, thank you.- OK. 19 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,979 So how did you get such a good rating, by the way? 20 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,379 I mean, you have way more reviews than anyone else on the site. 21 00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:49,380 Yeah, right. 22 00:01:49,381 --> 00:01:52,339 Ah, well, at the moment I'm trying to save a little bit of money 23 00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:53,739 so when I found a website 24 00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:56,779 where people let you house sit for free, I was like, sweet. 25 00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:59,779 I'll just break my lease and do this instead. 26 00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,859 So, yeah, stacked a heap of good reviews already. 27 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,099 About three places this month alone actually, so... 28 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,339 So you broke your lease? 29 00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:09,259 Yeah. Yep. 30 00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:12,739 Sorry, are... are you home... 31 00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:16,060 - Well... - Do you not have a home? 32 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:20,139 I'm... I'm joking, Tess. 33 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,139 Yeah, I travel down from Brisbane a lot for work. 34 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:24,219 Oh, thank God. 35 00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,299 Sorry, for a second there I thought you were mental. 36 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,939 - Nope. - MAN: Tess, where's my Kindle? 37 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,539 It's in the office. 38 00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,900 I'm in the office and I can't see it. 39 00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,340 Hey, Max. 40 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,219 How're you doing, mate? 41 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:43,019 You alright? I like your t-shirt. 42 00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:45,899 I'm more into Iron Man myself. 43 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,819 No hard feelings though, I hope? 44 00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,060 Will you sleep in my room? 45 00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,899 Ah, yeah. 46 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,779 Yeah, if that's OK with you, I can sleep in your room. 47 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,139 That sounds awesome. 48 00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:58,179 - Mum! Mum! - No, no. 49 00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:00,259 - No, no, it's OK. Shh! - Mum! Mum! 50 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:02,979 It's alright. I won't sleep there. I can sleep anywhere. 51 00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:06,139 - Mum! Mum! - Oh, look, let's get some keys. 52 00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:08,459 - How cool are keys? - Mum! 53 00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:11,019 - It's OK. Don't... - Mum! 54 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:14,379 - Alright, we're gonna wait. - Mum! 55 00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:17,899 - Mum! - Tess! 56 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:21,619 Mum! Mum! 57 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,579 Mum! 58 00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,659 Your house is too big, mate. 59 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,659 Mum! 60 00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:31,540 - Tess! - Mum! 61 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,859 Mm, I like it, but I think prefer the first version, 62 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,499 so can we go back? 63 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,019 OK, no problem. 64 00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:41,499 Thank you. 65 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,460 (PHONE RINGS) 66 00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:52,739 Hi. 67 00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:54,539 Hey, hi. 68 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:56,339 How are you? 69 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:58,779 Um, good. I'm at work. 70 00:04:58,780 --> 00:04:59,980 Cool, cool. 71 00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:07,139 - What's up? - Oh, ah, just double-checking. 72 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,499 I'm still taking you to the gestational diabetes test 73 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,299 - next Wednesday? - Yeah. 74 00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:16,260 Awesome. Awesome. Can't wait. 75 00:05:19,260 --> 00:05:23,659 Yeah, oh, you don't need a lift home from work today maybe? 76 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,179 No, I am all good. 77 00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:27,100 OK, sweet. 78 00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:29,659 Um... I gotta go. 79 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,579 Yeah, yeah, of course. 80 00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:33,939 OK, bye. 81 00:05:33,940 --> 00:05:35,579 Wait, wait, wait. Beck. 82 00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:37,819 - Beck? - What? 83 00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:39,419 Yoga. 84 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,659 Yeah, what about it? 85 00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:44,939 - It is good for pregnancy. - OK. 86 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:48,019 I just thought that it might be something 87 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,379 we could possibly do together. 88 00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:53,299 - Um... - I already do yoga. 89 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,859 - You know that. - Oh, that's right. 90 00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:59,179 Yeah, no, I must have... I must have forgotten that. 91 00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,180 That's right. 92 00:06:00,181 --> 00:06:03,659 Would you like to come to yoga with me, Ben? 93 00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,779 Yeah. If you want me to. 94 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,739 OK, sure. It's Tuesday night. 80 bucks. 95 00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,859 Is that Australian dollars? 96 00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:11,979 It's a small class. 97 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,659 OK. 98 00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:15,339 Um... 99 00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:16,579 I can pay for you. 100 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:19,339 Actually, ah, I just remembered, I can't. 101 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:23,500 On Tuesday night I'm, um, learning, how to swim. 102 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:27,339 - You already know how to swim, Ben. - Refresher course. I'm just... 103 00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,459 - I gotta go. - Wait, Beck. Beck. 104 00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,700 - Beck. - What? 105 00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:35,660 I just need you to let yourself be helped. 106 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,100 Beck! 107 00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:58,739 Excuse me, Sarah Cummings, 108 00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:01,139 would you like to come to this show with me on the weekend? 109 00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:04,819 Yes, Nina Walton, I might possibly want to do that. 110 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,979 It's called The Male Glaze, 111 00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:10,539 and it is a Feminist Ceramics Exhibition. 112 00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:12,739 Well, yes, please, Nina. 113 00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:16,539 I think I would like to go to Male Glaze, 114 00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:18,779 a Feminist Ceramics Exhibition with you. 115 00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:21,659 Well, this is excellent news, Sarah. 116 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:23,899 I think it's going to be a lot of fun. 117 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:26,220 We are gonna have a great time. 118 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:31,059 I would also like to say that you have beautiful hair 119 00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:32,419 and I am in love with you. 120 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:33,899 Whoa, OK. 121 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:38,099 Well, to be honest, think you may have misread the signals here. 122 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,179 Mm. 123 00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:42,739 Dale, my boyfriend, is sitting right there. 124 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:44,059 No! 125 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,379 OK, my mistake. 126 00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:47,779 Fair enough. 127 00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:49,579 Very embarrassing for me. 128 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:52,019 Dale, I apologise. 129 00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:56,379 As an olive branch I'd also like to invite you to the art show. 130 00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:58,059 - No thanks. - OK. 131 00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,579 That's a no from Dale. 132 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,019 Driver, would you like to come? 133 00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:03,099 Yes, please. 134 00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,859 I'd love to go to Male Glaze, 135 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,899 a Feminist Ceramics Art Exhibition with you. 136 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:11,339 Thank you, driver. You are very kind. 137 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,899 And you also have a lovely broad back 138 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:15,859 and I am in love with you. 139 00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,819 No, Nina, again. 140 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,899 Think you may have misread the signs there. 141 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,139 No. 142 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:24,139 Just because someone wants to go with you to the art show doesn't... 143 00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:26,019 Doesn't mean we're in love. 144 00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,620 It's very confusing, isn't it? 145 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,660 Well, fine. 146 00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,379 I guess I'll just have to return those gifts 147 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,179 I bought for you guys then. 148 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,779 OK, and what gifts were they? 149 00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:41,619 Diamonds, Sarah. Motherfucking diamonds. 150 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,100 - Oh, sounds expensive. - Blood diamonds. 151 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,979 Wow, OK. Well, that is pretty controversial. 152 00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:51,579 - Yeah. - Wait. When is this thing? 153 00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:54,139 Ah, it is on Saturday. 154 00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,579 Dale's keen. 155 00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:57,739 No, we have Joe's barbecue. 156 00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,379 Oh. 157 00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:00,939 OK. 158 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,819 Ah, do I really have to go to that? 159 00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:05,659 Yes. It's his birthday. 160 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,019 OK, but I barely even know him. 161 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:11,179 Well, he's my best friend, Sarah. 162 00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,499 What? 163 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,099 No, he's not. 164 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:17,819 - Since when is Joe your best friend? - He's like a brother to me, Sarah. 165 00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:21,100 (STIFLES LAUGHTER) 166 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,259 Well, shit. 167 00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:28,019 Guess I have to go to Dale's best friend's birthday. 168 00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,459 That's cool. 169 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:32,500 I guess it'll just be me and broad back driver. 170 00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:37,259 Ah, is this alright, guys? 171 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:40,260 - Yeah, I'm jumping out here. - We're not. 172 00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:59,500 (GIGGLES) 173 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,300 Why are you always like that with her? 174 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:12,500 - Like what? - Like... different. 175 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:15,940 - What are you talking about? - It's annoying. 176 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,820 You're being ridiculous. 177 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,939 You know, you become different 178 00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,939 when I hang out with my friends too, Dale. 179 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:26,819 - Like, do I? - Yeah. 180 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,659 Right. How's that, Sarah? 181 00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:30,059 You become a dick. 182 00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:33,939 (SCOFFS) OK. Cool. 183 00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:36,420 Thanks for that, Sarah. Forget that it's always my fault. 184 00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:41,019 Really eased the mood in here. Great conflict resolution. 185 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,660 Did you find us annoying, driver? 186 00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,900 - No, not at all. - He has to say that. 187 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,100 But what about this, Lynda? 188 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:14,301 If you were to learn that I was made of rubber 189 00:11:14,302 --> 00:11:16,539 and you were made of glue, 190 00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:20,299 and everything you said just bounced off me and stuck to you, 191 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:24,019 would or could that change your opinion on all of this? 192 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:29,099 Well, Julie, I could run the tests again with that in mind. 193 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:33,619 However, my instinct from a medical point of view 194 00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:35,500 is that the results would be the same. 195 00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,579 I would still have cancer, you think? 196 00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:40,900 I'm afraid so, yes. 197 00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,820 But you wouldn't, which is excellent. 198 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,180 (SOBS) 199 00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,340 (SNIFFS) 200 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,419 - Sorry, Julie? - Yeah? 201 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:31,340 - Just need to, um... - Oh, sorry? Yeah, of course. Sorry. 202 00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,419 How's your day going, Julie? 203 00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:42,980 Oh, you know, say just short of perfection. 204 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,820 - It's all peaking today, huh? - Mm-hm. 205 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,379 - Headed back to work? - I am. 206 00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:53,819 - Can I ask what you do? - Of course. 207 00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:56,059 Yeah, ah, I work for a guy. 208 00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:58,579 You may have heard of him. Satan. 209 00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:01,419 (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah, and where's that? 210 00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,979 At Premier Luxury Travel. 211 00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:07,139 Sydney's number one boutique travel agency. 212 00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:08,379 Right. 213 00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:11,259 Is there much of a skill crossover between luxury travel 214 00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:12,819 and Satan's previous job? 215 00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:15,939 Oh, I didn't think so at first, but he's just bought a yacht. 216 00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:17,380 Joke's on me. 217 00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:22,660 And what's your role? 218 00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:26,179 I organise holidays for fat men 219 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,739 and the young women they leave their wives for. 220 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:32,099 Right. Is that demanding? 221 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,619 Oh, it's OK. 222 00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,739 I just keep some broken glass in the bottom drawer 223 00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,740 that I swallow during the 3pm slump. 224 00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,179 Well, you know, I don't offer this to everyone, 225 00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:43,219 but since you're having such a perfect day, 226 00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:45,739 I'd be more than happy to call in sick on your behalf. 227 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:48,179 - And how exactly would that work? - Oh, it's easy. 228 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,019 Last week I, ah, called a lady's boss 229 00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:52,139 to say that my wife, Fiona, had diarrhoea. 230 00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:55,139 (LAUGHS) What, she can't use the phone with diarrhoea? 231 00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:58,220 - I didn't write the script. - Well, it's not bad. 232 00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,140 But I think I got a better idea. 233 00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:12,499 Hey, Francis, it's Julie here. 234 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,779 Could I speak to Jonathan, please? 235 00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:15,900 Thanks, darl. 236 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:20,860 Jonathan, hi. 237 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,699 Yeah. 238 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:25,939 I'm fine, thanks. 239 00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,179 Ah listen I just wanted to give you a quick call. 240 00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:30,940 I just wanted to let you know, I quit. 241 00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,019 Yeah. 242 00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:35,299 Yeah, I am serious. 243 00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:38,139 And secondly, I just wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself. 244 00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:40,339 You made me miss my daughter's Easter bonnet parade 245 00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:43,260 because I wouldn't kiss you at the Tourism Exchange, so fuck you. 246 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,379 Oh, thank you! 247 00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:51,779 No, thank... Thank you. 248 00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:54,619 No, we do not need to talk about this anymore, OK? 249 00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:55,980 Goodbye, Jonathan. 250 00:15:00,140 --> 00:15:02,579 - Holy shit. - (LAUGHS) 251 00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:04,419 Whoa. 252 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,179 OK. 253 00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:09,299 - That was amazing. - Yeah. 254 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,260 - Yeah, it was. - (BOTH LAUGH) 255 00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:16,419 - What's your name? - Ben. 256 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:18,419 Ben. 257 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:20,020 God, I feel so much better now. 258 00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:24,059 So you... you wanna change destination? 259 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:27,060 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 260 00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:36,540 Do I really only have 4.3 stars? 261 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,180 Yup, afraid so. 262 00:15:40,380 --> 00:15:42,899 Does it say why I lost points? 263 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,739 No, but it's usually just from one grumpy driver 264 00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:47,980 who had to wait a little while for you to get in the car. 265 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:53,299 Or could it be because I once did a little wee in the back of a car? 266 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,619 It wasn't very much. 267 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,859 I was just stuck on the M5 and I couldn't... I couldn't hold it. 268 00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:00,139 - Oh, um... - Would that lose me points? 269 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:01,580 That tiny wee? 270 00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:05,819 Well, you... yeah, actually, it probably was that. 271 00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:10,019 Jesus Christ, Ben, I'm joking. (LAUGHS) 272 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,339 - Who do you think I am? - I don't know. 273 00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:15,659 - I thought maybe... - What? Finish that sentence. 274 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,899 - What did you think? - It was a UTI. 275 00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:20,539 A UTI? I'm not a cat. 276 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,019 - I could still control myself. - Sorry. 277 00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:25,539 Oh, come on, mate. Get it together. 278 00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:28,699 - (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) - Uh-oh. 279 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:30,619 - Jonathan? - No, no. 280 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:31,900 No, it's my husband. 281 00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,060 Heya. 282 00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:39,140 - Hello, you there? - Yeah. 283 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,579 Did you call me not to talk to me? 284 00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,659 You just... you really made it hard for me this morning. 285 00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:49,339 You know what it's like here at the moment. 286 00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:51,459 I don't even know what I did, sweetheart. 287 00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:53,059 You do too. 288 00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:54,659 You think I didn't listen to you. 289 00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:56,299 You didn't listen to me. 290 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,219 I was just trying to get out of the house. 291 00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,820 Yeah, you always do it. 292 00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:03,659 Well, I am sorry. 293 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,819 What was it you were trying to say? 294 00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:08,299 I was just gonna say that the spotted dove 295 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,819 has come back to the garden. 296 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,019 - Oh, has it? - Yeah. 297 00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:13,939 I'd only seen one lately. 298 00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:16,339 Thought the other one might have died. 299 00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:18,979 But they're both here now. 300 00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:20,339 Oh, that's great. 301 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,979 Well, it sounds dumb now, doesn't it? 302 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:25,739 No, it doesn't. 303 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:29,059 - Anyway, I better get back to it. - OK. 304 00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:31,339 OK. Are you... are you OK? 305 00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:32,899 Yeah, I'm just... I'll see you tonight. 306 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,220 OK, see you. 307 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:38,580 Cry baby. 308 00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:43,180 So where to next, Julie? 309 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,140 Let's just drive. 310 00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:53,660 ♪ I can't seem to find my footing ♪ 311 00:17:57,220 --> 00:18:02,580 ♪ Mind just never settles down ♪ 312 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,980 ♪ I try in every way ♪ 313 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:11,980 ♪ I just want to seize the day ♪ 314 00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,940 ♪ But you call me every day ♪ 315 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:20,740 ♪ And it's nice to know but it bugs me ♪ 316 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,060 ♪ You call me every day ♪ 317 00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,260 ♪ Oh, oh... ♪ 318 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,020 I seduced a clown at that house. 319 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:42,499 Sorry, what was that? 320 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,459 At a party when I was 25. 321 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,019 I slept with a clown. 322 00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:49,379 I have so many questions. 323 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,819 Ah, what... Had you hired the clown? 324 00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:55,419 No, Ben, I had not hired a clown to sleep with. 325 00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,099 Well, I don't know how these things work. 326 00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,419 What, was he there to entertain? 327 00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:00,819 No, he was an off-duty clown. 328 00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:02,339 Right, so no costume. 329 00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,339 He didn't spray you in the face with a fake flower? 330 00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:08,139 He... he was a French clown. 331 00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,979 He was very well dressed. 332 00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:11,220 Very attractive. 333 00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:14,259 Was he funny? 334 00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:16,099 No, not at all. 335 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,579 He was very unhappy, actually. 336 00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,780 A sad and beautiful French clown. 337 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,939 - Oh, like that story. - What story? 338 00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:28,899 - About the man who goes to the doctor. - Go on. 339 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,779 So a man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, please help me. 340 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:34,579 I'm very depressed and I don't know what to do." 341 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:36,539 And the doctor says, "Well I know just the thing. 342 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:40,339 There's a clown in town. Why don't you go and see him? 343 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:43,019 He is bound to cheer you up." 344 00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:46,059 The man looks up and says, "Well, that's great, Doctor. 345 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,979 There's one problem. 346 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,859 I'm afraid the clown is me." 347 00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:52,339 Yes, I do know that one. 348 00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:54,139 - It was very profound. - Mm. 349 00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:57,139 But do you know how that story actually ends? 350 00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:58,140 How? 351 00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:00,379 Well, the guy says, "That clown is me", 352 00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:02,739 and then the doctor says, "Well, that's great, 353 00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:04,019 because I'm Julie Mortimer 354 00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:05,939 and I'm gonna fuck you, sad little French boy." 355 00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:07,460 Jesus Christ! (LAUGHS) 356 00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:11,340 People are always forgetting that part of the fable. 357 00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:18,739 - (HORN BEEPING) MAN: Oi! - What the hell? 358 00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:20,819 Fucking Uber wanker, you cut me off! 359 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,099 - What are you talking about? - On the freeway, cockhead! 360 00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,379 I indicated! 361 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:26,019 I wasn't even on the freeway! 362 00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,779 Oh, fuckin' bullshit, mate. Fuck you. 363 00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,539 Fuck the lot of ya! And fuck your dog, too! 364 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,339 Why don't you go and get your blood pressure... 365 00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:35,219 - Oh, whatever. - Does that always happen? 366 00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:36,819 - Some fuckin'... - I'm really sorry about that. 367 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:37,859 No, it's not your fault. 368 00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:40,099 No, you know what, I might actually take that sign down. 369 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,860 That way they won't know I was... an Uber. 370 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,219 Oh, hello. What the fuck do you want? 371 00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:52,300 - Ohh! - Woof. 372 00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:03,900 - Oh, shit! - We should probably go. 373 00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,100 Fuckin' Uber! 374 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,939 Now can you make anything of this? 375 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:16,819 Hmm, you could do "canoe" over the double word. 376 00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:18,819 Yeah, I know that. I was about to. 377 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,379 Mm-hm. Jesus. 378 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,099 - Margaret is getting demolished. - Yeah, that's my mum. 379 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,499 No mercy. 380 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,379 She was made to finish school at Year 9. 381 00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:28,900 She's got a rubbish vocabulary. 382 00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:32,459 And... send. 383 00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:34,619 Hey, Julie, ah... 384 00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:36,099 Mm? 385 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:40,020 What made you... why'd you quit your job? Why today? 386 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,219 Ah... 387 00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:44,340 Well... 388 00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:48,460 Um, to be honest, I, uh... 389 00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:52,140 I just got some bad news from my doctor. 390 00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:57,739 - Oh, shit. I'm so sorry. - Mm. Yeah. 391 00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:59,619 I, um, been having these tests lately 392 00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:01,059 and they thought I was in the clear, 393 00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:06,979 but it turns out that I've got this rare condition. 394 00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,420 Oh, God. 395 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,019 And it started because 396 00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:12,859 I got these strange gurgling noises in my stomach. 397 00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:13,860 Right. 398 00:22:13,861 --> 00:22:16,059 And I thought I was gluten intolerant 399 00:22:16,060 --> 00:22:18,619 but it turns out that when my mum was pregnant with me, 400 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,019 she didn't know it, she didn't know it 401 00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:21,259 but she'd actually conceived twins. 402 00:22:21,260 --> 00:22:22,260 Oh, right. 403 00:22:22,261 --> 00:22:26,219 And I as a foetus absorbed my twin's entire body. 404 00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,939 - Shit, I've heard of that. - Yeah. 405 00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:31,059 And, um, what they think's happening now 406 00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:33,339 is that my sister's hand is still growing inside me 407 00:22:33,340 --> 00:22:35,819 and every now and again it just squeezes at my insides 408 00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,940 and that's what causes the gurgling. 409 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:42,419 Oh, God, that's terrible. 410 00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:44,219 Yeah, that would be terrible, wouldn't it? (LAUGHS) 411 00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:48,299 - Oh, come on! - Are you completely insane? 412 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,059 Like, are you OK? Should you be allowed to drive? 413 00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:52,899 Come on, I was being nice then. 414 00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,539 I thought we'd bonded. 415 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,619 What are you talking about? 416 00:22:56,620 --> 00:22:58,499 You're my Uber driver, Ben. 417 00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:00,779 I'm not going to open up to you about my personal life. 418 00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,539 - Hey, you told me about the clown. - Oh, that is true. 419 00:23:03,540 --> 00:23:04,699 Did you wanna come in? 420 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,899 'Cause we could have a sleepover and braid each other's hair. 421 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,460 I think I forgot my PJs. 422 00:23:12,820 --> 00:23:15,940 - CHILD: It's so hot! - OK. 423 00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:20,980 - Ooh, I gotta get going. - OK, Julie. 424 00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:25,780 - It's been good. - Yeah. 425 00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:29,419 You have a good life. 426 00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:30,939 You too. 427 00:23:30,940 --> 00:23:32,060 Thanks. 428 00:23:33,820 --> 00:23:37,099 Hey, how's my bubbas? 429 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,939 Come here. I came home early today. 430 00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:41,660 Are you guys good? 431 00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:48,939 ♪ Charging headlong ♪ 432 00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:53,179 ♪ I don't know where I'm going ♪ 433 00:23:53,180 --> 00:23:57,619 ♪ Take me, I'm afraid ♪ 434 00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:59,939 ♪ How can you be real? ♪ 435 00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:03,500 ♪ Brush skin... ♪ 436 00:24:05,940 --> 00:24:09,099 - Hi. - Hi. 437 00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:12,419 Sorry, I promise I was literally in the area. 438 00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:14,179 Is everything OK? 439 00:24:14,180 --> 00:24:16,139 Yeah, yeah, totally fine. 440 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:19,819 I, ah, yeah, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 441 00:24:19,820 --> 00:24:20,940 What for? 442 00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:25,619 I've been... needy. 443 00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:30,819 Ah, me coming here is also... a bit needy. 444 00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:34,739 But it is the last thing that I'll do. 445 00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:38,099 So, yeah, I'm sorry for being so in your face. 446 00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:43,139 From now on, I'll leave you be, unless you ask otherwise. 447 00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:44,659 OK. Thanks. 448 00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:46,939 (RATTLING) 449 00:24:46,940 --> 00:24:50,179 Oh, looks like you've got company. I will get out of your hair. 450 00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:51,419 - Hi! - Hi. 451 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,579 - Hi. - How's it going? 452 00:24:53,580 --> 00:24:55,259 What are you guys up to? 453 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:58,819 We're just building a nappy change table like champions. 454 00:24:58,820 --> 00:25:00,860 Well, I am. Beck's useless. 455 00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:04,419 Oh, yeah, ah, cool. 456 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,859 Oh, it's super easy. 457 00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:08,419 Josie was already here and she offered, so... 458 00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:11,300 No, that's cool. Great. 459 00:25:12,340 --> 00:25:14,539 OK. Um... 460 00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:18,660 Well, you guys have fun. I will leave you to it. 461 00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:22,819 - Ben! - Yeah? 462 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:26,259 Do you wanna come in for a cup of tea or something? 463 00:25:26,260 --> 00:25:28,419 Ah, no, no, no. 464 00:25:28,420 --> 00:25:30,499 I've got to go and feed Meg the cat. 465 00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:31,820 Um... 466 00:25:33,580 --> 00:25:37,300 Yeah, I'll... I'll speak to you whenever, I guess. 467 00:25:57,300 --> 00:25:58,380 Dammit. 468 00:26:03,580 --> 00:26:07,619 Hey, ah, ah, do you guys wanna go for a swim? 469 00:26:07,620 --> 00:26:12,299 The, ah, the Taylors have a pool and it's heated, I think. 470 00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:15,459 If you and Josie wanted to, once you're... you're finished, 471 00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:18,059 ah, we could all head over. 472 00:26:18,060 --> 00:26:20,140 Or I mean, tomorrow, or whenever. 473 00:26:23,980 --> 00:26:25,579 Josie? 474 00:26:25,580 --> 00:26:27,380 Do you wanna go for a swim? 475 00:26:28,780 --> 00:26:29,780 Yeah. 476 00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:32,980 Yeah. 477 00:26:34,540 --> 00:26:36,260 OK. Well... 478 00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:40,619 Why don't you come in and help us with this thing 479 00:26:40,620 --> 00:26:42,619 and then we'll go. 480 00:26:42,620 --> 00:26:44,939 Yeah, awesome. Thanks. 481 00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:47,219 - OK. - Oop. 482 00:26:47,220 --> 00:26:49,780 - Sorry about that. - Oh, just shut up. 483 00:26:55,910 --> 00:26:57,469 So what do you think of Beck's friends? 484 00:26:57,470 --> 00:26:58,789 You were trying to trick me 485 00:26:58,790 --> 00:27:00,709 into saying that Beck's friends are shallow. 486 00:27:00,710 --> 00:27:03,509 Ah, Ben, this is my stepbrother, Clint. 487 00:27:03,510 --> 00:27:04,629 Nice to finally meet you. 488 00:27:04,630 --> 00:27:07,029 - I just want to say congratulations. - Do you follow the rugby at all, Mike? 489 00:27:07,030 --> 00:27:09,229 Sorry, would you mind if we just didn't speak? 490 00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:12,629 I think my, ah, neighbour has died. 491 00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:14,309 - What, that's the cops? - Yeah, they're always here. 492 00:27:14,310 --> 00:27:16,069 - What if they search the car? - Actually, you know what? 493 00:27:16,070 --> 00:27:17,669 - You might be right. - Yeah, then turn around! 494 00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:19,150 - We can't. They've already us. - Shit. 495 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,800 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 35493

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