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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:26,298 BEAU HUNKS 2 00:00:38,082 --> 00:00:42,748 # I love you, I love you 3 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:45,248 # I love you 4 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:51,207 # You are the ideal 5 00:00:51,248 --> 00:00:54,915 # Of my dreams 6 00:00:56,290 --> 00:01:00,040 # I always knew 7 00:01:00,082 --> 00:01:03,540 # There would be someone like you 8 00:01:03,582 --> 00:01:09,290 # I've loved you forever 9 00:01:09,332 --> 00:01:12,957 # It seems 10 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,248 # For years in my mind 11 00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:21,707 # Fondest Buncie 12 00:01:22,873 --> 00:01:26,540 # A picture of your face 13 00:01:26,582 --> 00:01:29,957 # I drew 14 00:01:31,165 --> 00:01:38,873 # And I knew you somehow 15 00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:44,623 # When I met you just now 16 00:01:45,707 --> 00:01:52,207 # You are the ideal 17 00:01:52,248 --> 00:01:55,248 # Of 18 00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:57,707 # My 19 00:01:57,748 --> 00:02:01,040 # Dreams # 20 00:02:05,248 --> 00:02:08,082 What are you getting so mushy about? 21 00:02:09,873 --> 00:02:12,665 Well, I'm glad you asked me. 22 00:02:12,707 --> 00:02:15,540 I couldn't keep it from you much longer. 23 00:02:16,582 --> 00:02:20,707 - What? - Life's biggest moment. 24 00:02:20,748 --> 00:02:23,040 I'm going to be married. 25 00:02:25,748 --> 00:02:27,832 You don't believe me. 26 00:02:27,873 --> 00:02:29,998 Yes, I don't be... 27 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,540 What do you mean, you don't believe me? 28 00:02:32,582 --> 00:02:35,332 Didn't I just tell you I was going to be married? 29 00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:38,790 - Who to? - Why, a woman, of course! 30 00:02:38,832 --> 00:02:42,207 Did you ever hear of anybody marrying a man? 31 00:02:42,248 --> 00:02:45,123 - Sure. - Who? 32 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,957 My sister. 33 00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:49,915 This is no time for levity. 34 00:02:56,248 --> 00:02:59,832 She's the sweetest girl you ever saw. 35 00:02:59,873 --> 00:03:03,915 Well-read, travelled all over the world... 36 00:03:04,998 --> 00:03:07,457 loved by everyone. 37 00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:12,457 And she's mine. All mine. 38 00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:18,332 Well, what do you think of her? 39 00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:22,748 What does "levity" mean? 40 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,707 Levity is a synonymum! 41 00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,665 You know what a synonymum is! 42 00:03:39,123 --> 00:03:41,873 A synonymum is... synomum... 43 00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:48,707 Hello? 44 00:03:48,748 --> 00:03:52,748 - What are you doing? - Somebody knocking on the phone. 45 00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,790 That's levity! 46 00:03:57,873 --> 00:04:00,665 Hello, Mr Levity? 47 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,998 Go to the door! 48 00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:10,582 "Hello, Mr Levity"! 49 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,540 Letter for Mr Hardy! 50 00:04:20,082 --> 00:04:22,582 - Thank you, Mr Levity. - Yes, sir! 51 00:04:38,832 --> 00:04:41,165 It's from her. 52 00:04:41,207 --> 00:04:43,290 Wait till I find my glasses. 53 00:04:53,082 --> 00:04:55,165 You read it, I can't find them. 54 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:19,040 "My dear, darling, precious Oliver... " 55 00:05:21,207 --> 00:05:26,623 ".. as I sit writing this note to you, with your picture in front of me... 56 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,623 "I have decided 57 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,748 "that all is over between us... 58 00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:37,915 "for I love another. 59 00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:42,123 "Your one-time sweetheart, Jean. " 60 00:05:56,498 --> 00:05:59,082 What's the matter? 61 00:05:59,123 --> 00:06:00,998 Didn't you read it? 62 00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:04,373 Yeah, but I wasn't listening. 63 00:06:09,623 --> 00:06:11,957 Give me that letter! 64 00:06:11,998 --> 00:06:14,332 Wait a minute, there's some more. 65 00:06:23,665 --> 00:06:25,748 Have you seen my glasses? 66 00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:31,290 "B.S. 67 00:06:31,332 --> 00:06:34,165 "It's best we never see each other again. 68 00:06:35,248 --> 00:06:36,998 "Jeanie Weenie. " 69 00:06:38,082 --> 00:06:40,165 What does she mean, "B.S."? 70 00:06:42,498 --> 00:06:44,623 "Big Sucker", I guess. 71 00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:49,332 Now I see it all. 72 00:06:52,957 --> 00:06:57,915 You vampire. You wrecker of men's happiness! 73 00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:08,832 And I learned about women from you! 74 00:07:14,832 --> 00:07:16,915 Come, Stanley. 75 00:07:22,998 --> 00:07:25,248 Where are you going? 76 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:31,290 We're going where we can forget. 77 00:07:31,332 --> 00:07:33,832 What do you mean we've got to forget? 78 00:07:33,873 --> 00:07:36,165 None of your business! Come on! 79 00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:39,373 I haven't got anything to do with... 80 00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:22,123 Ten-hut! 81 00:08:22,165 --> 00:08:24,415 Present arms! 82 00:08:28,998 --> 00:08:31,040 Lower arms! 83 00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:33,998 Guards! 84 00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:04,248 Close gates! 85 00:09:08,207 --> 00:09:12,832 - Sir, the new recruits. - Numbers, holler! 86 00:09:12,873 --> 00:09:14,082 - One! - Two! 87 00:09:14,123 --> 00:09:15,457 - Three! - Four! 88 00:09:15,498 --> 00:09:16,790 - Five! - Six! 89 00:09:16,832 --> 00:09:18,123 - Seven! - Eight! 90 00:09:18,165 --> 00:09:19,582 - Nine! - Ten! 91 00:09:19,623 --> 00:09:20,957 - 11. - 12! 92 00:09:20,998 --> 00:09:22,248 - 13! - 14! 93 00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:23,623 - 15! - 16! 94 00:09:23,665 --> 00:09:24,998 - 17! - 18! 95 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,373 - 19! - 20! 96 00:09:26,415 --> 00:09:28,873 21! 97 00:09:39,582 --> 00:09:41,457 21! 98 00:09:44,707 --> 00:09:46,957 Come come, what is your number? 99 00:09:46,998 --> 00:09:49,998 Hollywood-4368. 100 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,290 Silence! 101 00:09:55,873 --> 00:09:58,082 This is no place for levity. 102 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:11,707 - What's your name? - This is my friend Mr Laurel, Admiral. 103 00:10:11,748 --> 00:10:15,582 My name is Hardy. Oliver Norville Hardy. 104 00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:18,790 Joined up together, eh? 105 00:10:18,832 --> 00:10:21,832 - Yes, ma'am. - Er, we're buddies. 106 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:26,707 Well, you certainly are a sorry looking pair. 107 00:10:27,415 --> 00:10:31,623 - We're not sorry. - No, sir, we're just discouraged. 108 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:37,457 What on earth ever prompted you to join the legion? 109 00:10:37,498 --> 00:10:42,332 - Well, Brigadier, it was like this... - I came here to help him forget. 110 00:10:42,373 --> 00:10:44,873 Forget? Forget what? 111 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,915 Well? Well? 112 00:10:48,957 --> 00:10:50,998 I forgot. 113 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,123 You forgot what you came here to forget?! 114 00:10:54,165 --> 00:10:58,332 Well, we'll see that you don't forget what you're here for! 115 00:10:58,373 --> 00:11:02,290 We'll start whipping them into shape tomorrow! 116 00:11:02,332 --> 00:11:04,415 Yes, sir! 117 00:11:11,748 --> 00:11:13,915 Attention! Right face! 118 00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:17,332 Fall out! One-two-one! 119 00:11:41,082 --> 00:11:43,123 What's the matter? 120 00:11:43,165 --> 00:11:45,248 Can we get a room by ourselves? 121 00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:49,415 Certainly. I'll get you a room with a bath 122 00:12:22,915 --> 00:12:25,582 You didn't ought to have done it, baby. 123 00:12:34,415 --> 00:12:36,915 "She's travelled all over the world. 124 00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:40,873 "Loved by everyone. 125 00:12:43,582 --> 00:12:46,207 "And she's mine. All mine. " 126 00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:50,915 - That settles it. - What? 127 00:12:50,957 --> 00:12:53,040 - Come on. - Where? 128 00:12:53,082 --> 00:12:55,373 None of your business. Come on! 129 00:13:16,373 --> 00:13:17,873 Well? 130 00:13:19,707 --> 00:13:23,748 If you please, sir, we'd like to rectify a small mistake. 131 00:13:23,790 --> 00:13:25,998 - Mistake? - Yes, sir. 132 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:30,665 Since joining your army we find that we've been disillusioned. 133 00:13:30,707 --> 00:13:34,123 - Disillusioned? - Yes, sir, disillusioned. 134 00:13:34,165 --> 00:13:39,165 You see, sir, it was like this - we came here because of a woman. 135 00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:43,915 Hm. 99% of us do. What of it? 136 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:49,623 Well, most luckily, sir, we found out just in time that this woman wasn't worth it. 137 00:13:49,665 --> 00:13:52,165 No, sir. You know what she did...? 138 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:56,123 And we've decided to leave before it's too late. 139 00:13:56,165 --> 00:13:59,165 So you've decided to leave, have you? 140 00:13:59,207 --> 00:14:03,207 Yes, sir. If any mail comes for us send it to this address. 141 00:14:04,998 --> 00:14:07,498 What do you think this is, a picnic?! 142 00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:10,582 You're here, and here you're going to stay. 143 00:14:10,623 --> 00:14:13,707 This is the army of forgotten souls. 144 00:14:13,748 --> 00:14:18,415 Men come to this Godforsaken spot to forget and be forgotten! 145 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:23,498 Men come here to accept the hardships of the desert and the wasteland! 146 00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:27,790 To be without food! Without water! And to laugh at it all! 147 00:14:30,332 --> 00:14:34,998 Your comrades will fall bleeding and dying at your side. 148 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:40,290 And you're here to stay until the rattle in your dying throats relieves you! 149 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,248 Back to your quarters. 150 00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:46,373 Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. 151 00:14:54,748 --> 00:14:56,832 Back to your quarters! 152 00:14:56,873 --> 00:14:58,748 Goodbye. 153 00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:53,373 Captain Schultz! 154 00:15:59,082 --> 00:16:02,832 Take those new recruits and put them through their paces! 155 00:16:02,873 --> 00:16:06,040 - Now, sir? - At once, do you hear me? At once! 156 00:16:06,082 --> 00:16:07,748 Yes, sir! 157 00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:17,678 "Eight hours later. Just one big,happy family ." 158 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,832 Open the gates! Open the gates! 159 00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:51,040 Company halt! 160 00:16:51,082 --> 00:16:55,498 Well, well. Why, my comrades, you're looking better already. 161 00:16:59,790 --> 00:17:05,248 Get them to bed early. Thursday, tomorrow, we'll take them out for a real march. 162 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:08,498 - Yes, sir! - Mr General? 163 00:17:09,623 --> 00:17:14,373 Couldn't you make that Friday? I can't get up in the mornings... 164 00:17:14,415 --> 00:17:18,123 Silence! Right turn! 165 00:17:32,165 --> 00:17:35,540 I'm so tired, my feet are killing me. 166 00:17:48,248 --> 00:17:51,748 That feels so good. 167 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:38,040 Scratch my back. 168 00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:41,415 Scratch your own back, I've got troubles of my own. 169 00:19:17,998 --> 00:19:21,415 The gates! The gates! The gates! 170 00:19:30,623 --> 00:19:32,165 Come in! 171 00:19:36,082 --> 00:19:38,082 What news, ally? 172 00:19:38,123 --> 00:19:43,373 Bad news, sahib. The Riffs are preparing to make an attack on Fort Arid. 173 00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:46,998 - How strong are they? - They number more than the hairs 174 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,707 in the head of Mohammed. 175 00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:53,498 We must have reinforcements or the post is doomed. 176 00:19:55,665 --> 00:19:57,748 You may go. 177 00:20:00,207 --> 00:20:02,873 - Marching orders, Captain. - Yes, sir. 178 00:20:02,915 --> 00:20:06,165 Take every man - you leave at once for Fort Arid. 179 00:20:06,207 --> 00:20:10,582 - Not the new recruits, sir? - The experience will do them good. 180 00:20:10,623 --> 00:20:14,290 - But they're tired... - That is the time to train men, 181 00:20:14,332 --> 00:20:17,748 show them what the hardships of the desert mean. 182 00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:21,790 - Spare no man but return here quickly. - Yes, my colonel. 183 00:20:25,082 --> 00:20:27,873 - Ollie. - What? 184 00:20:27,915 --> 00:20:30,415 I feel just like Jeanie Weenie. 185 00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:36,207 What do you mean, you feel just like Jeanie Weenie? 186 00:20:36,248 --> 00:20:39,373 I feel like I've travelled all over the world. 187 00:20:40,498 --> 00:20:42,373 Go to sleep! 188 00:21:04,707 --> 00:21:07,665 Attention! Full marching equipment! 189 00:21:07,707 --> 00:21:10,248 Fall in! Come on! 190 00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:33,832 Attention! 191 00:21:33,873 --> 00:21:36,290 Right shoulder, arms! 192 00:21:37,665 --> 00:21:39,415 Right face! 193 00:21:39,457 --> 00:21:41,540 Forward march! 194 00:22:07,915 --> 00:22:13,165 - What's the idea? - I couldn't find my trousers! 195 00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,290 Stop that squalling! 196 00:23:09,665 --> 00:23:14,915 Hey! What have you got your hat turned like that for? 197 00:23:14,957 --> 00:23:18,665 Keeps the sun out of the eyes. Try it, it's great. 198 00:23:18,707 --> 00:23:20,790 That's a great idea. 199 00:23:44,998 --> 00:23:47,748 Company... halt! 200 00:23:47,790 --> 00:23:50,290 Company halt! 201 00:23:54,707 --> 00:23:57,623 Get back in your places! 202 00:23:57,665 --> 00:23:59,748 Get in your lines! 203 00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:02,623 Fall in! Do you hear?! 204 00:24:17,582 --> 00:24:19,832 - Where's your equipment? - Eh? 205 00:24:19,873 --> 00:24:21,915 Where's your equipment? 206 00:24:21,957 --> 00:24:24,415 - I wrapped it up in yours. - Oh. 207 00:24:25,457 --> 00:24:28,915 - Why, you can't...! - All right, march! 208 00:24:28,957 --> 00:24:30,998 But he's got my...! 209 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,373 You! Get in the line! And stay there! 210 00:24:34,415 --> 00:24:36,457 - You...! - Fall in there! 211 00:24:36,498 --> 00:24:39,082 Get a move on! 212 00:24:49,415 --> 00:24:52,498 Sandstorm approaching, men! 213 00:24:52,540 --> 00:24:56,998 - Indian file! - Indian file! 214 00:25:59,242 --> 00:26:07,649 "Fort Arid. Plague spot of the desert. Sweltering for twenty days under a Riffian siege." 215 00:26:12,248 --> 00:26:14,332 Bring him in. 216 00:26:26,832 --> 00:26:29,582 I am the commander. What do you want? 217 00:26:29,623 --> 00:26:35,332 Does the commander wish to surrender now or not? 218 00:26:35,373 --> 00:26:37,623 Surrender? Hm! 219 00:26:37,665 --> 00:26:40,082 Not while I have a man left. 220 00:26:41,957 --> 00:26:47,040 By the grace of Allah, this is your last chance. 221 00:26:47,082 --> 00:26:50,248 You have my answer. Go! 222 00:26:51,248 --> 00:26:55,165 Then the bones of your beloved legionnaires 223 00:26:55,207 --> 00:26:59,540 will lie bleaching in the desert sand. 224 00:26:59,582 --> 00:27:02,207 Steady, men! 225 00:27:02,248 --> 00:27:04,457 He's under a flag of truce. 226 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:09,832 Now then... go back to your scavengers! 227 00:27:15,207 --> 00:27:19,457 You can expect anything at any time. 228 00:27:24,707 --> 00:27:30,082 Comrades... Comrades, it... it looks like the end. 229 00:27:30,123 --> 00:27:34,290 Unless help arrives we are doomed. 230 00:27:34,332 --> 00:27:38,707 Caught like... like rats in a trap. 231 00:27:40,415 --> 00:27:44,415 Oh... Oh, why don't they come?! 232 00:27:44,457 --> 00:27:46,915 Why don't they come?! 233 00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:52,498 .. Step, step, step, step. 234 00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:59,623 One, two, three, four, step, step, step, step, step. 235 00:27:59,665 --> 00:28:03,123 One, two, three, four, step, step... 236 00:28:03,165 --> 00:28:06,790 Company, halt! 237 00:28:11,582 --> 00:28:14,332 Don't do that! It may be another trick! 238 00:28:16,540 --> 00:28:19,623 - Who's there? - Legionnaires! 239 00:28:19,665 --> 00:28:24,082 They're here. They're here! Relief at last! 240 00:28:24,123 --> 00:28:26,415 Open the gates! Open the gates! 241 00:28:34,623 --> 00:28:37,415 Pardon me, is this Fort Arid? 242 00:28:41,082 --> 00:28:43,165 Right shoulder, arms! 243 00:28:44,748 --> 00:28:46,957 Forward march! 244 00:28:49,373 --> 00:28:51,665 Company, halt! 245 00:28:54,290 --> 00:28:57,998 Why... where are the rest of the men? 246 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,873 Well, you see, Commodore, it was like this. 247 00:29:00,915 --> 00:29:03,998 We were sent here with a company, they got lost 248 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,748 so I took charge of what was left. 249 00:29:06,790 --> 00:29:08,415 Shoot now! 250 00:29:12,165 --> 00:29:14,415 All men, back to your posts! 251 00:29:16,623 --> 00:29:18,457 Two more gone. 252 00:29:20,082 --> 00:29:23,415 - You'll have to take their places. - Yes, sir. 253 00:29:23,457 --> 00:29:25,957 Their ammunition is nearly done. 254 00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:30,790 Go, climb the walls and open the gates and give us the signal. 255 00:29:30,832 --> 00:29:32,373 Go! 256 00:29:32,415 --> 00:29:35,540 - Allah akaber! - Allah be with thee! 257 00:29:41,623 --> 00:29:43,707 Don't keep following me! 258 00:29:43,748 --> 00:29:46,165 You go that way and I'll go this way! 259 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,123 Get over there. 260 00:33:07,415 --> 00:33:11,790 The signal! Allah be praised, the gates are open! 261 00:33:11,832 --> 00:33:15,790 Onward! Onward! 262 00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:23,165 The gates! The gates! 263 00:33:23,207 --> 00:33:26,582 They're coming to get us! 264 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:36,498 To the walls, men! Use the hand grenades, it's our only chance! 265 00:33:37,873 --> 00:33:40,623 Take those grenades and hold the gate. 266 00:33:42,082 --> 00:33:45,123 To your places, men! 267 00:34:00,957 --> 00:34:04,415 Ah! Throw it! Throw it! Throw it quick! 268 00:34:04,457 --> 00:34:07,373 No! Throw it out! Over the gates! 269 00:34:07,415 --> 00:34:09,123 Throw it! 270 00:34:14,415 --> 00:34:17,873 Oh! Oh! Where is it?! 271 00:34:37,207 --> 00:34:39,290 Just hang on there! 272 00:34:55,290 --> 00:34:57,957 Give up! Oh! Ah! 273 00:36:23,373 --> 00:36:26,498 Charge! 274 00:36:39,957 --> 00:36:43,040 We've captured the chief of the riffraff! 275 00:36:43,082 --> 00:36:47,248 Yes, sir, he was trying to make a getaway on his dormitory. 276 00:36:47,290 --> 00:36:50,332 Not dormitory - dromedary! 277 00:36:50,373 --> 00:36:53,290 Oh, yeah, a thing that eats dates. 278 00:36:53,332 --> 00:36:55,832 Search him and take him away. 279 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,957 No, sahib, not that that. Anything but... 280 00:37:05,082 --> 00:37:07,540 Wait a minute! 281 00:37:09,707 --> 00:37:14,082 - Take him away! - Yes, but I think you'll definitely... 19635

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