Original subtitles

Previously on Legends Of Tomorrow...

Neron must be looking for a new vessel.

Nora!

Nora?

I don't like Nate. That would be wrong and...

- Nate likes you. - Why don't you talk to Nate?

Tell him how you feel.

Mick's writing a sci-fi romance novel.

- Rebecca Silver? - Nom-de-plume.

Nearly cost her her life.

She killed that bloody demon.

You're letting the cold in, man.

We found something, sir.

But it's hard to explain.

Don't stand there like a fool. Spit it out.

Something was encased in the ice. It appears to be...

Gold.

Careful, sir.

It's... incredible.

I haven't the foggiest what it is.

I know exactly what it is.

My greatest discovery.

Yeah. That's what they all say.

Oh, hey, ladies. Was he any trouble?

Slam dunk. Honestly, with Neron gone,

catching fugitives has never been easier.

I thought it was gonna take all week.

That's great. It means you won't have to miss book club tonight.

- That's right. Book club. - Mmm-hmm.

Whoa! Smells like somebody hasn't showered

since birds were letters.

That's a hieroglyphics joke.

Ha! Nice.

Oh, buddy, don't talk with your mouth full, am I right?

Mummies are the biggest dummies. Hey, you big dummy mummy.

Got your containment cell all set up,

and we upgraded you to a king-size sarcophagus.

Oh, and would you like a wake-up call

from the front desk in, I don't know, about 1,000 years?

Nice.

All right, cool.

- Bye. - Bye.

I mean, what the hell was that?

- On it. - Yeah.

Z, how's it going?

It's going super awesome.

How are you and Nate?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Ah!

Nate dawg... It's going totally great, in a super platonic way.

Then why are you guys being so weird?

It was that awkward, huh?

Even the mummy thought it was awkward.

Look, I mean, you like him, right?

Yeah, I think so. But I don't know what the next step would be.

Oh, that's easy. You just jump his bones.

What if I do that and it screws up our friendship?

Look, Z.

Sometimes, for the good of the relationship,

you have to put yourself outside of your comfort zone.

For instance,

I am going to read 500 pages of some trashy novel by tonight, for Ava.

And look, with Neron gone,

now is the time for us to get our personal lives into order.

I will help you.

Please don't.

Relationship expert.

"I showed him my locket,

explaining, 'I keep the ones I love in here, close to my heart.'

Gustavo replied, 'I keep the ones I love in my freezer,

close to my microwave.'

He had a devilish sense of humor that I found irresistible."

Hey, Ray!

I was just reading our book club book to Nora.

Oh, that's really nice, Mona.

Ray, are you okay? You look like you haven't slept in days.

Oh... Been having weird dreams.

- How is she? - No improvements.

But no setbacks.

Any news from Constantine?

Nothing yet.

Well, I'm sure he'll find a way to bring her back.

I'll leave you two alone.

I brought you some more flowers

because when you do wake up,

I want you to know that your life is going to be beautiful from now on.

What the hell?

What's happening?

Wait. What are you doing with the pillow?

Are you smothering her? You're smothering her?

Not groovy.

Not groovy at all.

What's happening?

What are you doing? Why did you try to smother Nora?

Are you losing it, Ray?

Oh, I don't think you're crazy, Ray.

Let's chat.

Just Ray and Neron.

Neron?

No, you're dead.

You're dead. This isn't real. This isn't real.

Not real?

This is all in my head. This is all in my head, okay?

Ray!

Wow, this place is a mess.

Uh... Hey, um...

Containment-level bathroom is sort of my crying spot...

- Not now, Gary! - Okay, okay.

You're a reasonable man, Ray Palmer.

So I'm going to make you a reasonable offer.

Give yourself to me freely.

No. No, this conversation is over.

You leave me no choice but to make you kill someone you love.

You made me try to kill Nora.

But why?

Because, if you murder someone you love, your soul will be mine.

What is happening?

Mick, fancy a brew?

Laundry.

Sorry! Sorry. I'll be in the science, doing lab.

Nobody bother me, or my hand.

Haircut!

What's all this ruckus?

- Hey! - Hey, I got it!

- Is this fan mail for Rebecca Silver? - No.

It is not. Here. Give me that!

An invitation for Rebecca Silver to reveal her identity

at RomantiCon 2019 for $20,000.

Rebecca doesn't do cons.

Now, Mick, I realize that you don't like people knowing

that you moonlight as a romance novelist, but...

Do I like look like a romance novelist to you?

Oi, listen, don't you get mad at me.

Now, this is an easy score, and we're gonna get that money.

20K. How?

Well, I'll be Rebecca, mate.

Okay. Page one...

...will have to wait.

All right, people, we've got a hit.

New York City, 1933. The Adventurers Society.

Shut the front door!

What's the Adventurers Society?

It's a club for archaeologists and explorers.

It's basically the coolest place in history.

Guys, this is gonna be awesome!

Nate, you're running point on this one.

With Zari.

- For real? - For real?

Um...

Sara, we did not discuss this.

Look, relax. It's just a cleanup job. We'll do fine.

Okay.

Find the fugitive, bring him in, preferably in one piece.

Now scram.

- Hmm. - Yeah.

You're willing to risk an entire mission to play matchmaker?

I sure am.

Honestly, I'm getting a "just friends" vibe.

I bet you 20 bucks they hook up on the mission.

I'll take that.

You and I running this mission won't be weird at all.

- Yeah, it's gonna be super chill. - Yeah.

And just because Sara and Ava are busy doesn't mean everybody else is.

Yes. Let's rally the troops.

Yes.

Raymond, we've got a legit Time Bros mission.

What? Time... Time Bros, that's us.

Um... Look, I just...

I've got some stuff I'm doing here.

Come on, put the "schmience" away. We got a magic blip.

Look, right now, it's just me and Zari, and if I'm being totally honest,

it's a little awkward between us.

So I could really use my wing man.

I'm just doing some interesting stuff here. I...

It's something that has to do with me.

Busy working on a vaccine for... N...

For what?

Are you all right?

- I got it. - You do?

This is about Nora.

I'm sitting here, going on and on about me and Zari,

I'm not even thinking about what you must be going through.

I am sorry for being a bad friend. Bring it in.

What kind of punk-ass hug is that?

Bring it all the way in, Raymond.

Hug me.

Look, whatever you're working on,

you're gonna kill it.

You're gonna absolutely murder it.

- Ah, Ray? - Yeah, I just sort of

sometimes like to do a pre-mission massage, you know?

Just to limber up before we get out in the field.

- A little too much? - Yeah.

Well, say hello to Rebecca Silver.

Try these.

Perfect.

Nice get-up.

So you guys heard we're headed to the '30s?

No.

Well, you are. Sara put me and Nate in charge.

Oh, are you and Nate finally gonna...

Boom, boom.

Stop, stop. Okay.

Guess what. You're on the Waverider, so you're going.

Jumpship's got a full tank though, yeah?

Do you have somewhere to be?

Best if you don't pry, love. Just like I'm not asking

about that naughty little number Sara left behind for you to wear.

Check your closet.

- Rory, do you want to... - Plans.

Okay.

I can't believe everyone else bailed on the mission.

More Adventurers Society for us.

All right. Let's do this.

- Allow me. - Thank you.

I know. I know. These costumes are totally ridiculous.

You look absolutely, um...

yeah, ridiculous.

Uh, apparently, it's all part of the cover story Sara gave me.

I'm someone named Marion Ravenwood.

Wait.

Wait a second.

Huh. Well, it says here I am Dr. Henry Jones Jr.

Professor of archaeology, expert in the occult.

And how does one say this?

Obtainer of rare antiquities.

How...

It's Indiana Jones.

Yeah.

- Sara set us up. - What's that?

Adventurers Society, everyone else unavailable for the mission,

dressing up like your favorite movie,

it's all a setup to send us on the perfect date.

I totally get if you want to go back to the ship.

Or we can see where this mission takes us.

Oh, Mick, we're gonna make a killing off of these people.

Does Rebecca Silver belong in sci-fi erotica or cyber-erotica?

Rebecca Silver defies all categories.

Excuse me. You are?

It's me you should be talking to, actually.

I am Rebecca Silver.

And I do not appreciate the tone that you're taking with my bodyguard.

Oh, goodness, Ms. Silver. The Recluse of Romance.

We are honored that you will be making

your first public appearance ever with us.

You look exactly as I dreamed.

I'm just here for the check, really.

Of course. And you will get it

after your public appearance, Q&A, and book signing.

Oh, chitchat with a bunch of weirdos

dressed as some ridiculous alien queen they want to bang.

No problem.

Number one, Garima is a warrior.

- Number two, you're being rude. - Rude?

That's rich coming from you. You're the rudest person I know.

You don't get it. You need training.

What time's the Q&A?

In two hours.

Good. We'll be there.

Let's do this.

Okay. Page one.

Is this on audio book?

They say your life flashes

before your eyes when you die.

But what if, in that moment,

you finally see everything life's been trying to show you?

That's how I discovered that a killer was amongst me.

I should have known something was amiss that night.

I was returning from hot yoga to my sensational cliffside home,

matcha green tea smoothie in hand,

when I noticed my door was slightly ajar.

I entered, wondering if my dog walker

or cat sitter or personal shopper

or astrologer had failed to close it.

That's when I heard him say,

"There's something I've been meaning to kill you."

Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, please.

My esteemed colleagues, the honor of having my flag retired

is only rivaled by the honor of sharing my latest discovery.

To retrieve it required not only besting the frozen wasteland of the Arctic,

but also the physical limitations of the human body itself.

But for the sake of exploration, I prevailed.

And so, without further ado,

I present to you Gordon Gilchrist's golden mystery...

egg.

Now, Vincent.

In the words of Ray and Mike Tyson,

"I think we found our Myth-tery man."

Come on, science.

Something's happening.

I can feel my hand again.

No, no, no.

The infection...

is spreading.

Gideon, where in the timeline is John Constantine?

His last known whereabouts were in 2019 with Gary Green.

Would you like me to connect?

- What are you doing to me Doctor... - Gideon? Gideon?

What?

We can't have anyone spying on us now, can we, Raymond?

You're all alone now.

Well, it's you and me.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'll just do this the old-fashioned way.

Aha!

- Hello. - Gary, hi. Ray Palmer here.

By any chance, have you spoken to Constantine lately?

Worried about Nora, huh?

What? Yes, but no. I'm calling on a more personal matter.

Say no more. I will be right over.

What? No! No, no, no, Gary.

No, Gary.

How can I help?

Oh, no.

You hear something?

- There's a guard. - Okay.

Don't worry. I can talk my way into anywhere.

Excuse me, my good man. Can you point me to the nearest facilities?

I have an urgent need to relieve my bowel.

Let's go.

We are crushing this mission, by the way.

No classic Legends mishaps,

and only one historically insignificant nobody received

- blunt force trauma to the head. - Hmm.

And now we get our prize.

Wait.

Trip wires.

This is going to require one of us to squeeze through these trip wires,

maneuvering our bodies in unexpected ways.

Are you asking me to do that?

No. I'm asking you to hold my coat.

When I wrote Uncaged Desire, I was trying to uncage my own desire.

A desire to... To... To...

Oh, bollocks! What's the next bit again?

To feel life, not just live it.

You still don't know Rebecca.

Well, I know you, and you're Rebecca.

Your primary mode of communication is grunting like a caveman.

Besides, I mean, Rebecca Silver is whoever we want her to be.

These people, they don't know anything about her.

What are you talking about?

They read her books. They read her letters.

Her letters?

Do you answer your fan mail?

I just thought all this was a big laugh at their expense.

Well, it's not.

Hmm.

Be careful.

What the hell?

It's papier-mâché.

Oh, my God.

She did this all for us. It's all a setup.

- No. - Yeah.

- You think? - Yeah.

It was a fake magicometer alert. Sara concocted this whole thing.

- I bet you they're actors, too. - Yeah.

Gordon Gilchrist, with the ridiculous facial hair.

- The only thing that's missing? Nazis. - Yeah.

What did you do with the egg, huh?

The real egg.

Oh, she really went all out.

- Hey. - Well, there you are.

I was beginning to think you weren't gonna make it.

This is a... interesting choice of venue.

We can't have book club without Nora.

It takes all three of us for a book club quorum.

Very sweet.

- Cheers, babe. - Thank you.

All right. So who do you guys think is the real killer?

Because I have my theories.

Oh, my God. This can't be real.

- I have to go, now. - What?

You just said that book club requires all three of you.

It's Rebecca Silver.

She's revealing her identity at RomantiCon, tonight.

Rebecca Silver?

The sex-positive novelist reinventing feminism.

Yeah, we know who she is.

Make sure you take lots of pictures.

Oh, my God, thank you.

I can't believe I'm going to be

breathing the same air as Rebecca Silver.

- Okay, so... - Hmm.

What did you think of the book?

Oh, you wanna keep doing book club?

Babe, we don't have to. We can just forget it.

I thought it would be nice for us to be able to do something of yours.

Aw!

That's so sweet, thank you.

- I didn't read the book. - What?

- Sorry. - Seriously?

Honestly, I usually just drink rosé

and let Mona go on and on and use it as a mini-vacay for my brain.

Well, it was actually a really good book.

Wait, wait. Come on. I can still drink rosé, and you can go on and on.

- Mmm. - Come on. Come on.

Okay, fine.

So I think the real killer was the dog walker.

No.

Yes, I mean, all that pent-up frustration.

She treated him like a doormat.

You can't help me. I need Constantine.

Well, I may not be a master of the Dark Arts,

but I am an intern of the Dark Arts.

You're interning for Constantine?

Yeah.

He's letting me study his spell books if I water his plants

while he searches for a cure for Nora.

But, besides, what other options do you have?

Come on. Tell the Gare-Bear what ails you.

I don't know how to explain it,

but it feels like there's something inside of me.

Oh, yeah. You know, there's a beautiful singer inside of me,

but no one's ever going to meet her.

No. No, Gary. No, Gary. This is bad.

This is very bad, and I don't know how to get it out.

Indigestion. I know just the spell.

I'll have your pipes cleared out in no time.

Let me just look it up.

Good thing it's not a demon

because, if it was, you wouldn't be able to tell me.

Weird rule that keeps the victim silent,

all the while trying to murder a loved one

in order to seal in the demonic possession forever.

Why did you just stab yourself?

I didn't.

- You're possessed. - Yes!

I... I... I can help.

Where is the egg?

Take it easy, Hitler Youth.

The egg's broken. It was a crappy prop.

The real egg.

Do not anger me.

Look, this was a good effort, like really good.

But we've done Nazis before, but like, real Nazis.

So, if it's okay with you,

I would rather just... pull the plug on this.

- Yeah. - My friend here

- is a surgeon. - Oh, nice.

He will kill you until you tell me where the real egg is.

- Uh, let's tell Sara we're on to her. - Yeah.

Mmm.

- Hello. - Hi, Sara. Nate and Zari here.

Uh, first of all, well-played.

Yeah, setting up this whole adventure for us to go on a date

was way over-the-top,

but, in the same breath,

very sweet. And if I were to give a note,

the Nazis were just like a tad too much.

What are you... What are you talking about?

Are they the same theater troop as Ava's parents?

- What? - Sara, drop the act.

Nazis killing us with throwing daggers. Come on.

Listen to me.

Look, I did purposely put the two of you on a mission together,

but this is a real mission,

not a game.

Those are real Nazis.

Whoa!

And now, young lady, you die.

- Sorry, Nate. - For what?

Wow.

- You okay? - Yeah, that was actually really intense.

See, they took care of things on their own.

And they were clearly about to hook up.

- No, they weren't. Wait. - You owe me 20 bucks.

Uh-uh! Uh-uh!

Were you guys about to hook up?

- It was definitely on the table. - No, no, no, no.

- See. I told you. - Come on... It doesn't matter.

Okay, now that you know that it's a real mission, where's the egg?

Yeah, and where is Ray?

Isn't he supposed to be quarterbacking on this?

Ray? Ray, come in.

Nate, buddy.

Don't come back to the ship under any circumstances.

- You okay, buddy? - Yeah.

Just cleaning up a storm over here.

I don't want you to trip and break your neck on the mopped floors.

Okay, bye.

Bye. Okay, that was weird, even for Ray.

- We should check on him. - You go check on Ray.

We'll handle the egg.

Um... I'm sorry that our first date got ruined by Nazis.

Who says it's ruined?

Okay, what do we know?

We found an egg, but it was fake.

Someone stole the real one.

What about that Gordon Gilchrist guy?

He's the one who found it,

so I don't know why he would have stolen it.

Although I sort of think his poor assistant, Vincent,

did most of the work.

- Wait. That's just like the book! - It is?

The book from book club!

Vincent is the doormat!

Look, it's always the doormat.

It was the dog walker in the book, and, now,

this Vincent guy is mad that he didn't get any credit.

So we find Vincent, take the egg, and wipe everyone's memories. Easy.

Ray. Ray.

Remember, if you kill a loved one, Neron will take over.

Oh, well, here's the thing, Gary. I like you.

But...

Oh...

Yeah.

Got it. Old Gare.

Not loved by the Legends.

Bottom of the pecking order at the Bureau.

Constantine's plant sitter.

Always the butt of the joke.

Gary, it's not like that.

It is like that, Gary.

No one appreciates you.

They all think you're a fool

that they can use whenever it's convenient for them.

But I respect you, and I see your potential.

- Neron? - Gary, don't listen to him.

He's trying to trick you.

A demon can't renege on the deals they make.

So you can believe me when I say

I can make you whole again.

"Whole"?

Rebecca, first, let me say

that your novel Uncaged Desires was a sexual epiphany for me.

I can't say that I'm surprised.

My writing does have that effect.

But how did Officer Daphne free Tank Tremors?

Can prison guards release inmates just because they're in love?

Oh, well, you see, that was a metaphor.

After all, aren't we all in our own prisons of desire?

Rebecca, in Heatwaves,

who is the unnamed villain who is stalking Garima?

- Charlie? - What is a villain?

Is it just someone with a different point of view?

What's really stalking Garima are the choices that she made.

So you're the real Rebecca Silver, huh?

Hi. Yes.

I mean, that is what I have embroidered on my satin pillowcases.

Okay, then.

I have a question about your novel Raw Hides.

When Captain Cash Harvey fights the Prairie Bandits,

why does Nasgowa stow away in his Conestoga wagon?

Well, you see, that is also a metaphor.

That is not a metaphor. She really did it.

And she died because of it.

The real Rebecca Silver would know.

I am the real Rebecca Silver.

I have tea with lemon.

- I have a really small dog. - You're a fraud.

Where is the real Rebecca?

Where's the real Rebecca?

- Where's the real Rebecca? - Where's the real Rebecca?

Right, go to hell, you stinking mouth-breathers.

Where's the real Rebecca?

Where's the real Rebecca?

Where's the real Rebecca?

Quiet! Give me that.

Nasgowa chased Cash for one reason.

It's the same reason humans have gotten together since the dawn of time.

It's why people like you come to conventions

and dress up as your favorite characters.

Why a man sits behind a desk, typing,

pouring out his heart.

Why an author,

a writer, replies to fans.

It's connection.

Human connection.

I am Rebecca Silver.

You are Rebecca.

I'd recognize that wisdom anywhere.

I would have come sooner, Nora.

But have you any idea how hard it is to acquire a phoenix's tail feather?

I didn't. All right.

By the power above and below,

I call on you, Nora Darhk, to return to this plane and rise reborn.

Come on, love.

Come back to me. Come on, love.

Neron...

No, no, no, it's all right, love. It's all right.

He's gone. You did it.

- No. - He's gone.

He has Ray.

Ray?

Gideon, where's Ray?

Nate, you shouldn't have come.

Ray, what's going on?

You should leave. You can't let me get...

Ray, what are you saying?

You've been acting so weird lately.

- I thought we were bros. - It's not me.

Don't you see? It's near...

- What's near? Somebody's nearby? - No.

All right, people. Gather around.

Vincent? What's the meaning of this?

- I found it. - Hand over the egg.

- I should get credit for it. - The egg is my accomplishment.

It belongs to me.

Everyone's memory of the egg is about to be erased,

so don't get too bent out of shape.

Not so fast.

Finally, the egg is ours.

Oh, man, these guys.

I'm Ray. The rest of me isn't.

Nate, you have to get out of here. You have to leave.

I won't leave you, buddy.

Okay, you got possessed by Neron.

You have to go.

- He's gonna make me kill you. - No, because I believe you,

Raymond, are stronger than he is.

Nate, I'm so sorry.

Why are you hitting me?

Can't stop.

- We're bros. - We are bros.

Okay, I give up. I give up. You hear me, Neron? I give up.

Spare Nate, and I'll let you have me.

Just promise me you won't hurt him, and I won't resist.

Deal.

It's nice to have a willing host.

But a promise is a promise.

- We gotta get that egg. - On it.

Okay, I got you.

- See them whip skills? - That gave me an idea for date night.

Hmm.

Oh, come on now. Don't be shy.

You're a little late, Johnny.

I've sort of taken over jolly old Ray.

I see you've lost a step.

That's the thing about mortals. They age so quickly.

But don't worry, Johnny. I won't let you die of old age.

Yeah, well, I might be a little older, mate,

but I've picked up a few tricks along the way.

That one's from Marie Laveau.

Cute trick.

But we both know you won't be able to hold it for long.

You're a parasite.

And I will separate you from Ray Palmer.

Oh, Gary. Where have you been?

I was hiding in the lab.

Then I heard noises.

Yeah, well, go and get my steam trunk,

and we can exorcise this demon right now.

Damn it, Gary. Now it's not the time

for you to be standing around like some hapless idiot.

I can't hold this bastard forever. Do it, now.

Demands a lot from you, doesn't he, Gary?

But what has he ever done for you?

I, on the other hand, brought you a gift.

Go ahead. Open it.

No, no, no.

Don't accept anything from him, Gary.

My nipple.

Gary, listen to me. That part of you, it belongs to hell now.

All right? Don't let it seduce you.

The same way John seduced you into being unicorn bait?

It's beautiful.

It's cursed.

Now, back away from it, you bloody fool.

It belongs to you, Gary.

Come on, Gary. Think about what you're doing, all right?

Don't give in to his temptation.

How did I do?

Time dweeb! What the hell are you doing here?

- What do I do? - Shut up, Gary.

I'm tired of being a doormat.

Gary, no.

Well done, Mr. Green.

I'm whole again.

All systems back online.

So, Zari, some big moves back there.

- Yeah, you were really brave. - Thanks.

So why are you scared to make a move on Nate?

Nate.

What happened?

- Where is he? - Who?

Ray.

Neron's got him.

Sara, hey!

We got you a collectible RomantiCon tote bag.

- Who died? - Yeah, what's going on?

I have some bad news.

- I told you, I'm fine. - She's stable, Director.

- Thank you. - Ava, you shouldn't be here.

You should be scouring every second of the timeline for Ray.

Agents are on it as we speak.

Why did he do that?

Look, I know you've been through a lot, but I need your help.

My help?

Why?

Because, no matter how many agents I send after Neron,

none of them can do what you do.

None of them have the powers you have, Nora.

And I trust you.

Nora Darhk, I'm asking you to face another demon.

But this time, I'm asking you to face it

as a member of the Time Bureau.

Let's do this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you haven't recovered yet.

We gotta track down Ray.

You will, when you're better. I promise.

You don't just throw a man down with these sorts of injuries.

- It's mean-spirited. - Don't be a baby.

- Does this hurt? - Yes, Zari. It all hurts.

Where doesn't it hurt, Nate?

- Here? - Yeah.

Here?

I guess there's an upside to getting pummeled.

You know how I never let anyone know what I'm...

really feeling?

It's kind of your thing.

That's how I feel, Nate.

I feel the same.

Gideon?

What kind of egg is that?

I believe, Dr. Heywood, it's a dragon egg.

Oh...

Of course.