Original subtitles

Yeah. Is she hydrated?

I'm just cutting off sedation and keeping the fluids.

-Any idea when she'll wake up? -I hope soon.

How soon?

I sedated her a while ago. She's stable now.

I don't know what kind of state she'll be in.

-She should go to the hospital. -She said no more hospitals.

-She never wanted it to get like this. -You said she'd be awake.

You said she'd be okay for the wedding. I mean…

-I know. I know. -Did you give her too much?

No, this isn't my fault. She's been having seizures all morning.

-Don't start. -We can cancel it.

-Cancel what? -The wedding.

It's in an hour.

It was her final wish to see Nicky get married.

She won't see anything like this.

-She might be fine. -Might isn't good enough.

-A hundred people are about to show up. -I don't give a fuck.

-We're canceling the wedding. -It's not your decision.

We're not canceling the wedding.

Why are we fighting? Please, not in front of your mother.

-She's unconscious. -She can still feel the energy.

We're not canceling it, okay?

Why do you two care so much? And what about you? Hmm?

You gonna pick Mom or her?

Portia!

You're not even looking at each other.

Because it's bad luck for us to see each other on our wedding day.

Bad luck is for people who can't own up to anything.

There is no such thing as bad luck.

Only bad decisions. And this is one of them.

Portia, seriously. Just--

No, seriously.

She made me summon the devil to see if she was your soulmate.

-No, that's not what happened. -How do you think I got this?

Not… not from the devil.

Oh, it was some dead lady, and then she broke my fucking face.

-You summoned her. -I didn't. It's never been like that.

What the fuck happened at this party?

-Why "shh"? -Your language.

No, and the next thing I know, I wake up, I'm on her floor,

and I don't know how I got there.

She's being all weird, and Mom had a bunch of seizures.

-It's not Rachel's fault. It's mine. -It's the brain tumor's fault.

She's evil, and she's hiding something.

-Stop. -She's not evil.

-I am trying to save this family, Jules. -Why don't you just take a beat…

I am very calm. She made me summon the devil.

Portia, what are you talking about?

It was not the devil. It was my great-great-aunt.

And I am not… hiding anything.

I have been very up-front with you all about everything that's been going on.

We have all been through a lot this week.

But no matter what happens,

it is going to end in a beautiful, beautiful fucking wedding,

so help me God.

We are getting married today.

I love him, and I love all of you,

and I understand that it's very, very, very important to your mom,

but it is our wedding,

and I'm not gonna let you ruin it.

I am walking down the fucking aisle into his arms no matter what.

She's gonna wake up to the wedding of her dreams and Nicky's

and all of your dreams, okay? We are doing it.

No.

No, we are canceling it. Right, Daddy?

-Absolutely not. No. That's… -No. No way. No.

-We're not canceling anything. -Portia. It's not your decision to make.

It's happening, Portia. You should put ice on that.

You should fuck off.

-It can leave an ugly scar. -You're an ugly scar.

Okay, that's enough, please.

Everybody out.

You're disturbing my wife's peace.

-Daddy, I'm sorry. -She's gonna be okay.

Thank you.

-I'm sorry, Dad. -Sweetheart, come here.

Come here.

Okay. Come here.

I figured out a plan.

Okay, what's the plan?

Um… It's, uh… it's a lot to explain.

Just maybe you stay with Nicky and be the best man,

and then we'll let you know when we need you, yeah.

But I need to know what the plan is. Hey, Nell! Nell!

Shut up! Just do what she says.

-Wait, wait, what's the plan? -I found Portia's book.

The thing Portia was talking about when she was possessed.

The something living, something dead, something stolen, something red.

It's a ritual, and we have to do it, and then everything's gonna be okay.

So, uh, it's a version

of "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue."

So the something living comes from the groom. Come here.

Uh, the something dead from the bride, something stolen from the mother-in-law,

and something red from an adversary.

It says here that it's best to use blood, so we just need to collect it, combine it,

and then I drink it before I walk down the aisle.

Then the only thing is that, uh, once I drink it,

it will change me into his soulmate if I'm not already.

What do you think?

Are you fucking crazy?

The… the seed of the groom…

-Are you gonna take out one of your bones? -I don't know. I don't know.

The hair of the mother-in-law and… blood? Oh my God.

-And you're gonna drink all this shit? -I guess. Uh…

Jesus Christ, Rachel. I…

Well, that's… …not how you're supposed to respond.

A bone from the bride? Do you really wanna remove a bone?

No, no, I don't want to.

Do you remember what I said about staying in reality-reality?

Yeah, right before Portia was possessed by my dead great-aunt.

Yeah, reality-reality's not really on the table anymore.

-It's got a pretty major side effect. -I know.

It's gonna change you into his soulmate. Change you how?

I don't know.

It's fucking psychotic.

Worst-case scenario, it doesn't work, but at least I tried.

No, the worst-case scenario is that it turns you into a Stepford wife.

Oh, yes, okay.

I've been thinking about that, and it's fine

because Nicky is a great person, right?

Like, you couldn't find a better person than Nicky, but I'm not a great person.

I'm a medium-bad person, and when I think about it,

I've actually always known this, and this is an opportunity for me to fix it.

That's not true, is it? You're not a bad person. You're a very good person.

No. No, no, no, no, no. No.

Here, this is just one of the many examples, okay?

Like what happened last night. That's a medium-bad person thing to do.

Come on. You know, that was the point of a bachelor party.

Like, the point back when they were invented.

Well, this isn't like the olden days.

Men do it all the time.

Yes, but… but… but Nicky wouldn't because Nicky is so good.

His soulmate would also be so good, and what I realize is that

maybe this is, like, actually kind of amazing for me, okay?

Like, if the ritual does in fact work,

then maybe this will be some sort of lobotomy for me, in a good way.

You don't need a lobotomy.

Okay, well, I don't wanna die.

You might die. You also might not die.

Well, I'd like to, like, not die with certainty, okay?

So I'm doing the fucking ritual!

You don't know what the consequences are.

I do know what the consequences are, okay?

I do it and I, uh, live, or I don't do it and I probably die.

Yes, but you live as a version of yourself that you don't recognize.

Yeah, uh, a very alive version, though.

I thought all you had to do was believe he was your soulmate.

I don't wanna die like my mom did.

Okay, so…

I have to try something.

And so I'm gonna do it,

and you're either gonna help me or you're not, but I'm gonna do it.

This will not be a tragedy-filled wedding.

This is how I get to 100% certainty.

Do you think this is the only way to survive?

Shit!

Oh my God, the wedding's at noon.

The wedding's at noon, and the sun sets at 4:44. It's 11:08.

Okay, I'm going to start with the something stolen from Victoria

and then maybe the something red, yeah, from probably Portia

because she fucking hates me.

Um… Oh, by the way, will you tell Jules what the plan is? Yeah?

He's gonna have to help us with the something dead,

and then I will come back and I will… I'll grab Nicky.

Okay? Would you do that for me? Please?

I just came here to tell you I'm canceling the ceremony.

-Not that you bothered to get ready. -Wait! Portia!

Wait! Wait, wait, wait!

You didn't want a wedding four days ago.

A lot's changed in the last four days.

Like you bringing incomprehensible evil into this home?

I'm doing everything I can to stop it from affecting your family.

I don't wanna hear about this narcissistic curse anymore.

It's "pick me" and ruining the positive energy.

What positive energy?

You're preventing my mother from getting her dying wish.

No, you'd be preventing your mother from getting her dying wish.

It's a little late for that now.

I have no problem telling everyone here to leave.

Okay.

Go ahead.

Now you don't care again.

It's not that I don't care. I just don't have time to fight with you.

Why don't you have time?

Because the wedding is in 45 minutes, and I have to…

You don't honestly believe that?

I do! It's my right!

Thanks. That's great.

You have to calm down. The guests are arriving. What's wrong?

You're not listening.

I will not let you turn this wedding into some devil-worshiping party.

It's crazy that you think that.

Not after getting slapped in the face

'cause of your dealings with the underworld.

-I'm gonna tell everyone to leave. -Okay. It doesn't matter. Okay?

I don't need a hundred people. You can tell them all to leave.

I just need Nicky, the rings, and the witness,

and I'm still getting married. Okay?

And you can still give your mother what she wants,

which is a beautiful, beautiful wedding.

Come on.

People are coming. Want me to take that thing from you?

Why?

Because it's all bloody and gross.

What do you want my blood for, Rachel?

I don't want your blood. I'm just trying to help you.

No!

Fuck!

Excuse me. Do you… I'm not sure where the first looks are supposed to be?

Wrong way. You can go that way where the guests are.

-Wait a minute, you're the bride, right? -Mm-mm.

-Rachel. -No?

Yes, I am, but not right now.

I have to tell you something. Something bad happened.

-Uh… Is it Grandma? -I don't know how it happened.

I put them in the box, and then I put it down for a second.

-I can't find them anywhere. -You can't find what?

The rings.

Fuck! Um… Okay.

Do you, uh… do you know where they are? Where did you last see them?

-I don't know! -You don't?

I had them in the box, and I just put them down.

Try and think when's the last time you saw them.

-Congratulations! -Hi! Thank you.

Do you remember seeing--

-Hi, Rachel! -Hi! Just one sec. I'll be right back.

Rachel! Cheers, sweetheart.

Okay. You look on the left side.

Look over there and try and remember where you last saw it, Jude. Okay?

I don't have time for this. Okay. What color was the box?

Silver, I think.

Silver…

Looking for something?

Jude, uh, go… go look in the living room, yeah?

Lighten up. Enjoy the day. It could be your last.

Did you take our rings?

Uh… It's true what they say. No one escapes the three rings of marriage.

Oh my God. Jude!

-The engagement ring… -Go!

…the wedding ring,

and the suffering.

Did you take our rings?

I only take my treasures after the disaster.

This… belonged to your mother.

And I'm wearing your father's tie.

A little something borrowed

for me.

Well, you won't get any treasures this time, you fucking asshole.

'Cause I'm not letting you win. I'm going to live.

And I won't be passing this fucked-up shit down to anyone.

It ends with me tonight.

We'll see, won't we?

The sun sets at 4:44.

Yeah, I know. I got plenty of time. Cheers.

I told you! It still hurts!

-Rachel, hi. -Hi!

-Nice outfit. -Congratulations, Rachel. How are you?

Good. Sorry, I just have to-- I have to go get dressed.

Four years of medical school, for what? This is a fucking joke.

I thought it was your life's mission to save her.

That's a dramatic way to put it.

If you don't do it, I'll do it, and that'll be bad for everyone,

but you don't care, so fuck it.

-You'll do it? -Yeah, why not?

You don't know what you're doing. You'll fuck it up.

Oh, will I? We'll see.

No, I'll do it.

Rachel! Is it true you're wearing the dress?

Her mom wouldn't let her wear it.

-I didn't want to anyways. -Sorry.

I actually went with something a little more modern.

-Hey, last night was so freaky. -Okay.

-Yeah? -We talked to a ghost.

Where's Portia? Does her face look all fucked-up?

Yeah, sorry, I just-- Uh…

Hello?

What are you doing?

I'm… I'm sorry. I just-- I…

I wanted to check on her and make sure that she was okay.

Okay?

Sorry.

Sorry, I… I don't… I don't think that I…

I can let you do that.

I can't let you do that.

Jules did say that there's a chance that she still… can wake up in time.

I think that we need to--

My wife is the rarest type of person. She burns hot and fast.

And for every time this happens, there's a little bit

less of her than before. So,

after all this…

she's spent.

I promised her I wouldn't let her fizzle out.

She has lived a life of dignity, and she will die.

You can't just wait…

40 minutes?

To see if she'll wake up?

If this wedding is her… it's her dying wish…

If anything, just…

just do it for Nicky.

Nicky needs to grow up.

You guys are young,

and I can see our arrangement may stretch beyond your understanding,

so I will put it to you plainly.

She would rather die… as who she is

than turn into someone she doesn't recognize.

I… I would like some alone time with my wife now.

Jules? Nellie?

Yeah, we're ready.

It has to be a bone?

Yeah.

Something relatively unnoticeable.

You don't have to do this.

Don't discourage her.

From removing her bones ten minutes before she gets married?

-It's… That is not… -It's not all my bones.

Please. Okay, I want to live. I want Nicky to be happy.

I want all this to be over. So just cut something off me.

What about a tooth?

No, no, no. That'll fuck up her face.

So?

It's her wedding. She doesn't want a swollen face.

Sorry, I was under the impression we needed to save her life.

-Yes, in an unnoticeable way. -Um…

She's gonna be supernaturally altered.

From the inside.

Pinkie toe?

I need you to make a decision for me.

It's a fucking insane decision. I can't make it.

Right or left?

Uh…

Uh, my right. Sorry. Uh, no, wait. Uh, left, left. Sorry. Uh…

No, fuck. Uh… Right.

-Right. Right. I'm gonna do it. -On the table.

-Ice? -Yes.

Okay.

First we cut off circulation.

You don't have to tell me what you're doing.

Please. Thank you.

Will she have a limp?

Oh… Okay.

Would you have changed yourself irrevocably to turn into my soulmate?

-Not if I'd have a limp. -Okay, guys, guys…

Oh, she'll have a limp. We're cutting her fucking toe off.

Take these.

Hm?

Hold her leg, please. Both, if you don't wanna get kicked.

Mmm.

-Mmm. -Okay…

How long is this gonna take?

I don't know. I've never amputated anything before.

Don't say that.

Mm-hmm.

If this doesn't work and something happens up there,

we can't let Jude see it.

Come on. Don't say that in front of her.

I don't want you to see it, either.

-You don't need to protect me. -You don't know what it's like.

Can we get back to the part where I don't die?

-Sorry. -Please. Thank you.

-Okay. -Yeah.

-Okay. -I'm gonna make the incision.

You don't have to tell me what you're doing.

-Fuck! -It's okay.

Oh, fuck!

Is it done?

Is it done? Yeah.

Oh, Jesus Christ. What is that? Oh my God.

-Oh, no. Stop. Nell, stop, stop. -Oh my God. I can't.

So you don't bite your tongue off. Just take that. There you go. All right?

Mm.

Okay. Are you gonna count down?

Did you hear that?

Fuck!

It's done. It's done.

-You want to hold it, or… -Mm-mm.

-Fuck. -What do you want me to do with it?

Put it on ice in case she changes her mind.

Are you okay? Yeah, talk to me. Stay with me.

Jude… Jude… Jude lost the rings.

-Don't worry. You can use ours. -Fuck!

All right?

Just breathe. All right?

Fuck!

The oxy will kick in soon.

-I'll give you a re-up at the reception. -Mm-hmm.

In the meantime, no soccer, okay?

Mmm.

You two make a pretty good team, actually.

Told you.

Oh. What time is it?

It's 11:31.

Fuck. I gotta go. No, no, no.

Hang on. You should really keep your foot elevated for a minute.

I can't. I can't. I gotta go find Nicky.

Fuck.

Shit. Sorry.

Have you been hiding in here?

Yeah. Kind of. I'm sorry. I…

I'm… I'm happy to find you in here.

Hi.

Hi.

You can look at me.

No.

-Okay. -Hmm.

You can look at me.

No. Bad luck.

We're way past that now.

Did you see the lucky penny right outside the door?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I put that there.

You did?

Yeah.

I did that for you this morning. I just felt like… I don't know.

There's been, like, this horrible distance between us,

and I was just trying to…

I don't know.

Hmm.

Hey.

-Hey. -Mmm.

Look at me.

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna close the distance.

We're gonna fix it, okay?

I'm gonna fix it.

Just let me fix everything.

Yeah.

All you have to do is be you.

I love you.

Yeah.

-I'm sorry. -It's okay.

Yeah.

Hey.

What's on your mind?

What are you thinking about?

Nicky.

What's on your mind?

I was just

thinking about what you just said. Like…

All you have to do is be you.

Sounds…

sounds silly, but I don't…

I don't…

What?

I don't know who I am right now.

My parents and their…

Everything they taught me…

It's just like this whole week, it feels like everything changed

and everything changed.

I mean…

No, Nicky, stop. Stop it, okay? Hey.

Look at me. I can tell you who you are, okay?

You are a good person.

You are so, so good. And… and listen…

Everything's gonna be okay.

Everything's gonna be okay because I'm going to change.

Okay? I'm going… I'm going to be good like you. Yes.

What? No, don't do that. I don't want anything about you to change.

No, no, no. I… I'm a bad person, okay?

I am really, I am genuinely a bad person.

-No, you're not. Why are you saying that? -Because I am.

No, I am. The way I behaved at that rehearsal dinner, that is not okay,

and I invited your dad to the wedding.

You were trying to reunite us.

No, I shouldn't have done that.

It's like you said. I should have just realized how fucked-up things were

instead of trying to force this… …cathartic reunion between you guys.

I thought if I did that, it would be this big healing moment.

And it was, Nicky, it was.

It was kind of, like… kind of cathartic. It was. And I…

I finally found out what happened to my mother.

Yeah. And I wasn't there for you like I should've been.

I just fucking glazed over that. I'm such a piece of shit.

-No, you're not. No, you are not. -I… I… I…

It's like, are my last moments with my mom just me fucking yelling at her?

-No. -I mean…

I…

It's like, yeah, you might be cursed,

but I'm pretty sure, like, I'm evil or something.

You're not evil.

I…

I made out with Nellie.

Yeah, I know.

You know? How?

Jules told me earlier today.

Jules knows?

They tell each other everything.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done it.

I thought that I was… that I was doomed and that maybe…

You're not.

You're not a bad person.

-Rachel, look at me. -Hm?

You're not a bad person.

We were so good before we got here.

You know?

So, you believe me, right?

About the curse?

I do. I understand.

All that matters is this.

I miss our tiny baby.

Where's our tiny baby?

-What? -You lost the tiny baby?

I don't fucking know. Um…

Nicky, are you in there?

Just-- Yeah, hold on.

It's Mom. She's awake. She's okay!

-Hurry. The wedding is in ten minutes. -Go.

I'll be right there! Um, hey, I love you so much.

-I love you. Okay. Okay. -I love you.

-I love you. Go. -Okay. Oh, I found our tiny baby!

-Oh my God! Keep it for good luck! -Okay, all right! I love you.

Cheer up, child

The world don't owe you a thing

Who bought you that ring?

Cheer up, child

The ghouls and snipers don't care

There's nobody there

One of these days

You might notice the patch on my head

I'm already dead

And see the man That you married for money

Can't breathe

He's almost dead

How do you make it down the street?

City burns like a fire Beneath your feet

Cheer up, child

Your world's not tearing apart

Though you broke its heart

Many people

Would give an arm and a limb

To live where you live

It's not your fault We don't blame you

We blame the world you were born into

Happy day of birth

No matter where on Earth Your feet have taken you today

Did you hear me say

That I love something about you

But I don't know what it is?

Something that I must find

For you have truly built

Your fort

How

Do you see beneath the canopy From your top floor…

I don't have the rings.

All right.

Give me your ring.

Why?

We can't find the rings. They're borrowing ours.

God, look what I have. I totally forgot.

I didn't want them to get lost. No offense, Judie.

Okay, here we go!

Well, a lady introduced to me By my best friend

We connected through the cans on head

Even though I fear she might be quite dead

She sat and she sang the tale of youth

'Cause children don't know The meaning of truth…

Please rise.