Original subtitles

Madrid in the Nude

Take a seat please

So your Mr. Balthazar Fernandez Candela, father of

- Jacobo Fernandez Cerraya - Exactly

My wife says I smoke too much

You could smoke Abanos, they do less damage

I've been pressured from many sides Mr. Fernandez,

you must be aware of that

I have friends

Things have changed

I want you to know you're here because you have a right to be,

your son Jacobo has done absolutely nothing

And that's the reason you've held him for so long

Less than 72 hours.

Understand that they caught him red handed at the university-

Yes, I know

- We'll let him go now - I'm glad,

the sooner this infuriating business is over the better

Come in

Jacobo! They've mistreated you!

This won't stand Commissioner, I assure you!

They didn't do anything to me Father

No? So you must've been born like that,

with violet eyes like two hardboiled eggs

Imbecile!

On top of everything else you let yourself be brainwashed

I want to speak to my lawyer

- It's because I was the ram - The ram? What the hell?

I have a hard head and my friends attacked using me

What are you saying,

that a son of mine let himself be used like a common piece of wood

to hit some guy in the stomach?

Father, it's an honor, they only pick the strongest

Well for being one of the strongest

you're not looking too good

It's because I hit against someone's hip, it's very difficult to aim

Alright, alright

Jacobo, you can go when you like, nothing happened here

Nothing but that I had to leave a business meeting

to hear that nothing happened

C'mon ram, the car's waiting downstairs

Goodbye Commissioner

- Goodbye - Goodbye gentlemen

Balthazar Fernandez, the builder

A big fish Mu�oz, a very big fish

...and 15, it's time for coffee, right Mu�oz?

I like mine with a dash of brandy Commissioner, just as always

Ah yes, brandy,

we'll get it at the Chinese place. Come on Mu�oz

- Go on, get in - I'd rather take the metro

With that beating? You must be crazy

What a dumbass, he prefers to take the metro?

If you'd permit me sir, Felipe says the metro

forges the spirit and readies one for the struggle

- Felipe who? - Felipe Gonzales sir

And what does Santiago say?

- Santiago who sir? - Santiago Carillo, naturally

Forgive me sir, for me the only Santiago

is Mr. Santiago Bernabeu, may he rest in peace

Ramon, stop by the house first, the lady needs the Mercedes,

we'll go to Michelangelo's after

- Hello Rocky - Hello Mr. Balthazar

- What's up? - Ta,same as always,

a bit of a fuss over that guy who came from St. Sebastian

Oh, him. What happened?

Man, have you been living under a rock?

They killed him.

They found him on the outskirts in a plastic bag

with two bullets to the back of the head

Shit, things are bad

I've heard that they had threatened to kill him,

that's why he came to Madrid

He was a thin guy with glasses and a mustache, right?

No mustache man, no mustache

You're confusing him with the guy they locked up

for raping a gal over in Santiago de Compostela,

the one I mean is one that always came with the minister

He was a gentleman, he gave some good tips

- Maybe it was the Youth's Front - What's that?

The suits in there, the dead man's friends

Right now there are more bankers and big fish in there

than in all of Madrid

What does that have to do with anything?

Everyone knows that the bankers run the country,

Balthazar does no more than repeat it,

so if there was some bad business...

You're barking up the wrong tree

When it comes to bankers I have no problems,

how would business be if I had to park the average guy's car?

- Rocky, my car - Coming Mr. Arrandar

He told me that in spite of the threats he wouldn't pay a dime

What an idiot, if he had he'd be fine right now

We're in the terrorists hands, and when they mark you...

And all that in spite of the declarations he made on television,

what a load of crap

He made it sound like he was on the left all his life

They took him out at his best, he was on the cusp

Lately he'd come in here giving favors as if he were a bishop

It turned out well for you,

your mouth was breaking from smiling at him so much

Hey, I appreciated him like anyone else,

but that wasn't enough for his position to go to his head

They say he threw parties in the north with three ministers

As far as I'm concerned he's with St. Peter now

The important thing is that he was our friend and now he's dead

First Bulto and Viola, and now this,

and top of that they criticize us because we gave capital to Switzerland

Yes, that's true

Balthazar, what happened with your son?

Just a misunderstanding,

in any case, no one can understand this new generation

It's always the same story,

they hold a good boy and all the trash stays on the streets

I plan to go to Romania

Didn't you hear me? I plan to go to Romania

- But that's just a story - A story?

Why don't you ask Jaime?

- Jaime? - Yes, ask him

Since he came back from Romania

he fucks two times a week

- Really? - I give you my word

- Did you see him? - What do you take me for?

I haven't seen you either, not that I'd need to,

I know you've gone a century without a good screw

They're like children

The Daily

The director is waiting for you

This bitch is liable to stick around a few hours and ruin my night,

The old man is gonna give me a workout, if he keeps this up he's going to burst

Come in

Mari Carmen, you can go,

I'll turn off the lights myself. Goodnight

See you tomorrow Mr. Ricardo

Sit, please

Don't tell me where you want to get to or the price you're willing to pay

because I already know that.

Better yet, tell me if you can do it,

if you really have talent, because if you don't

it's not worth the bother to sell yourself to anyone,

not even me

I have a way with an audience, I know how to excite it

And besides, I dance much better

than some of the other ones up there

And my body, well here it is

It's not bad

Not being bad isn't enough, one has to be very good

and I am

I don't understand, frankly I don't

What?

That you've been in the profession so many years and have need of me

Anyone could have helped you

Anyone isn't enough either. If you want to rise up

the hand you hold has to be high up, powerful, feared

Yes yes, I understand

That's why I chose you.

The other day when I saw the look you gave my body, I thought..

"Esmeralda, this guy knows what he wants"

And what do I want?

To sleep with me until it burns

True, but first I have to try it

I tried eating frog legs once and I didn't like them at all,

however they looked excellent

- You understand me, right? - Perfectly

We'll have to throw all those clothes away,

they're pure trash

I know, but I don't have the money to buy better

Money? Neither do I

Then?

For a man like me it's not hard to get things

I can have them all

I have no money because I believe it's only for spending

and I spend it

- We're the same - That's not a given

I know, but it's a relief

While this lasts neither you nor I will have to pretend

No, we're not the same,

you're worse than I am,

and I think that's precisely why I like you

Until now I've never found someone who was worse than me

Well,

now you have a sugar daddy

All this week we'll have dinner together and go to many places,

that way, all the world will know it,

and when I recommend you

instead of a suggestion, for many,it'll be an order

- Soon you'll be a star in a movie - Really?

A powerful builder will produce it

and the most popular director of the moment will direct it

I knew I wasn't wrong when I chose you

Where does your power come from?

I sell too

I sell something more valuable than your body,

or that of any other woman

I sell silence,

and you have no idea what people are prepared to pay for it

Like when he said at that news conference that

he was taking the coins to get a watch made it Switzerland

It's funny, isn't it?

Goodbye dear, you'll have to forgive me but I have company.

I'll call you in the morning, bye

- Balthazar dear - Vicky

Balthazar, won't you say hello to Gerard?

What's that? Oh, hello, now go, I have to talk to Vicky alone

But Balthazar love,

we shouldn't treat our beloved Gerard that way,

you know he's one of my best friends

Besides, he's left all his important public relations jobs

to stay at my side

And because I pay him double what he earned

In any case he's a great companion for me and for the baby

How did you get it in your head to have dinner at Club 33

with Leticia and that group of kids last night?

But love, our daughter was turning 14 last night, don't you remember?

Yes, of course, but I had dinner with Tina there just two months ago

The whole restaurant sat there wondering when the bomb would go off

The tension at my table was unbearable

and that faggot did nothing but call you everywhere with those little screams of his

I have a reputation to defend

But Leticia wanted to go Club 33

and I know you don't want your daughter

to celebrate her birthday in a dive

Besides, having had her debut, how can we deny her?

By the way,

thank you for the Cartier bracelet you sent her,

she thought it was wonderful.

If you could have seen what a day she had...

She's such a sensitive girl,

it'll be an unforgettable day for her

Yes, but Tina was shooting steam from her ears

I'm sorry love, Madrid is so small

and Leticia so wanted to go

Our daughter is the apple of my eye,

I can't deny her anything, anything

Vicky, let's go to bed, hurry

To hell with the old man

He spends his life fucking as if he was 20

Don't worry about the Club 33 thing, anyone can make a mistake

I won't forgive myself

If Tina causes problems I'd never forgive myself

You'll get something tomorrow to console yourself

There's no other woman like you Vicky,

not in any sense, I assure you

That filthy bitch,

my daughter is having a birthday

and where does she want to celebrate it, in a brothel?

- It was in one of the best in Madrid - Naturally

All the world knows Felicia is Balthazar's daugher,

he'd be the first to admit it

- Are you jealous of Tina? - Lies

It's also a lie that I'm after respectability,

I mock respectability

I'm Vicky Torres, understand? That's enough

So what worries you? It's not money, is it?

The old man showers you with it

Jewels, houses, stocks

Besides, he may get sick of you

but he'll always be crazy for Leticia

Turns out the kids his legitimate woman has cranked out

are imbeciles and ugly

Oh, I remember seeing a picture of the eldest girl the day of the wedding

A clown.

Styled by the best hairdresser

and done up by the best makeup artist,

a poor ridiculous clown without a brain

I also laugh at the honorable wife of Mr. Fernandez Candela

Uglier than sin and with halitosis that...

- Geno the hairdresser told me - I didn't know you saw the same one

Of course,

we have the same hairdresser,

the same manicurist, the same masseur

Not the same beautician, Balthazar forbids it

Well she'd find it great that you have so many things in common

Shit, what do I care what that scarecrow thinks?

Well, when you think about it, you share the same man, so...

Go to hell, you know they haven't slept together for 14 years

Touch� dear

And now what should we do? I think we should go out to eat

Where should we have dinner?

Chinese, Japanese, Tuscan? The Five Forks

- You're never satisfied with anything - No need for that

The script is perfect,

it only needs a few details. Two hours of work and it's done

How do they always manage to make them taste and smell the same?

You're drinking my beer

Sorry, I thought it was mine

You're drinking tomato juice

It was due last week,

and besides, it's not what I asked for, not even close

- It's almost the same - It's not the same

You change bishops that go to a council

into bullfighters that after an event

go to a whorehouse and go to town, it's not the same damn it!

- But the structure- - Anyway, bullfighters are out of style

- I know, I'll make them soccer players - No, that idea's no good

You don't expect me to write another story in two days

- It had to have been here last week - I know, I know, last week

but I'm tired, exhausted

You wear me out, some friend you are

Too many whores.

Have you looked at yourself?

You look like a dick in a coat

No wonder you're tired

- I like whores, so what? - That's none of my business

As for the script, I need it in two days

I have associates, no script, no dough,understand?

How's it going Adolfo? How's it going at the box office?

It's some brutal work, I liked it a lot,

the reviews were phenomenal

Thank you Arturo, but it still hasn't opened

And Albarco's thing? All tits and ass

What do you expect after 40 years?

you have to show them something

And you say yours still hasn't opened?

I assure you I've seen it somewhere

What balls on that guy

- Yes? - Martha?

- Yes, who is it? - It's me, Adolfo

Man, the great auteur, how are things going with your life?

Listen beautiful, why don't we meet for lunch?

Where?

In my apartment,

I'll have something from the corner restaurant brought up

- You want to? - Alright, I'll be there in an hour

Give me the address

Clara del Rey 47, apartment 106

And she comes just like that Shit, if I just knew that before

The archeologist is really fucking attractive.

What an asshole I am,

I've spent so long in telling her what I've told others in five minutes

and now she's here, no fuss, no bother.

No, they're all the same

I guess this is supposed to be an exciting atmosphere

Some find it erotic

And the cold in here?

Let's go to bed beautiful,

you'll see how quickly we'll warm up

Well...

Is something wrong?

It must be those damned pills I took for my cold

Forgive me, don't think I'm always like this

I don't think anything

Damn it, all week fucking trash

and now I lose a girl of this caliber

I've ended up like a chump

He's despicable, a real bastard,

but I like his skin, the taste of his mouth

Hurry up asshole, I'm waiting for you

Rest, don't move

Oh, and take that Korean plant, they say it works miracles

Don't forget to call me, this can't stay this way

I'll call you one of these days

I said it, I ended up like a chump,

but she was looking at me in a way that intimidated me

Bah, they're all whores, even the archeologists

Alright Mariano,

tell Balthazar what you think of Esmeralda as the protagonist

Good, very good

What worries me is the cost,

I don't understand this cinema thing very well

It'll be around 20 million

Keep in mind I want to film in Mexico, in Acapulco

It could be 20 or 22 million, around there

Fuck, a lot of money, isn't it?

Look Balthazar, the girl has charisma

and besides, you owe me some favors, the three of you

Of course, I'm your friend,

naturally I'll make sure those false stories

stay hushed up like they have been

Fucking asshole, son of a bitch,

I have to make the movie so he can get his rocks off

For the success of Esmeralda Vega and the triumph of..

Soccer and Passion, that's what it's called, right?

At the moment, yes

Are you going to the Scarmiakov's party?

I might, but those parties won't go on much longer I tell you

Mamushka wants to match Tanya up

and some unwary person will fall for it

Natasha got her claws into an American millionaire,

Sonya is driving Frank Montigani to bankruptcy

Now it's Tanya's turn, don't you think?

The Russians are hot,

but that mother of theirs is like a cash register,

what a business she's drummed up with her three girls

Well I won't miss the Russian's party

and I recommend the spectacle

Mamushka in action is an international attraction

People just come here to eat, to drink, it's so boring

There's nothing interesting, just blah blah blah

You're a tight ass

We have to recognize that Madam Scarmiakov does things well

What a buffet

If it's her son in law paying

it's all a small price to match Tanya up

I know who the target is

- Oh yeah? Who is it? - Him

I don't know about Porsches, they seem underpowered to me

I like the Mercedes for the classic touch

Abel de Tamendia, a pretty boy from Bilbao

and loaded to the gills

That was before, now with how the stock market's going...

The stock market and everything else.

What's needed here is a firm hand

A smart man always finds a way to fix a situation

That's true my love

A fabulous fete Mamushka, like all the ones you organize

Luxembourg is conquered through the stomach

Good evening mother, how are you Sonya?

The famous Tanya isn't worth a fig

Disgusting. Money calls money

Money? Not a cent. Like most of them it's all show

If I talked...

Mr. Tamendia, let me introduce my daughter Tanya

- It's a pleasure - I've been wanting to meet you

Now she introduces them He's married, and to money

- Really? - That's no obstacle for Mamushka

On the subject of Brazilian, Mexican and Uruguayan divorces

she's an authority

Shall we sit?

- I'm happy - We finally meet

Do you like me? Really? I'm happy

- Could I see you alone? - Perhaps

Vicky, it's late. Let's go, I'm tired

We're having a good time love, let's wait a bit longer

Her title is Baroness of Neuletz

but she's a whore

Quiet, she might hear you

Well, I met her in working the hall in the Hotel Paris in Monte Carlo

around '55 or '45 or something

What's that about a hall?

Nothing you should concern yourself with

It was one of the best services the hotel had

The hall is like the sidewalk, but inside

Oh Esmeralda, you're better off with your mouth closed

- You'd best go back to your room dear - So soon?

Dear, you have to get up at six to go hunting

You have to conserve your strength, right?

How smart and strong you people from the north are, and how strong

It's because we all work out, now you'll see

That's made of metal

Have you hurt yourself?

It's nothing, just an old injury I got in a competition

Damn whoever made you

Tonight I'll do five hail Marys

Meet at the church, that's old Don't you agree Tasio?

Don't be so dense, it's tradition, that guy can tell you

No, but I-

Everything alright?

Sorry, it took hours to get here,

we had a meeting today, well Mr. Balthazar

I was just saying it had to be our friend Balthazar

- Au grain - What's that?

Whatever but in french

Well au grain,

maybe I'll say it again another time, see if you've digested it

Neosocialism is the organization of a society based on the common good

- And the other? - The same thing, but we're in this one

- And the one thats worse? - That one lives better

And the one that's better?

That's easy, they get fucked, someone always gets fucked

Like I said, au grain,

this way we'd never be able to legalize the party

But we still don't have more than 35

So what, other parties have been legalized with less than that

I don't know...

You just don't understand politics

Look casual, it's the cops

Cops? So what, nothing's going to happen so take it easy

He's looking at us!

So what? Look, watch me taunt him

- Careful! - This is democracy

Well well, not feeling too well, are we?

I have rheumatism too

- Take care - Thank you officer

- I don't give a damn about cops - You're gonna screw us one of these days

Alright, now lets think about things seriously

We have to find a way

to get rid of that stupid image of an exotic dancer

You have to be more careful with what you say in interviews

Why do you always talk about your early failures?

- I thought I was doing well - No, it's not good at all, it's bad

You have to get better, after that I'll have no complaints

Five signed contracts and another two on the way,

every week at least three reports in the most important magazines,

your popularity is rising quickly. Don't touch your nose!

- But it itches inside - That's good,

that way you'll remember what it cost to get it fixed

Dr. Demanez, I possess an excellent memory.

For example, I remember some confusion in a diagnosis

that cost a woman her life

It was in...

1965

A sad case

In the end, that's life.

And then your poor wife threw herself off a balcony

Was it from the fourth or fifth floor?

How much?

My dear friend, you surprise me

I just came here to pay my respects to you

for the work you did on Esmeralda, our future star

An excellent job, to be sure

How can I charge a friend with such a good memory

This is between us?

Honestly, I don't know why those

tragic events came to mind

You seem different newspaper man

Be careful, if you keep on like that maybe your next partner will be

a pallid student of the Jesuits

If I ever felt like having a man don't doubt it, I'd take one

At the moment, though my body isn't working, my mind is

It's the supreme eroticism, and that's enough

You can tell it's 133, it's strong, very different from 850

I don't see a difference, and besides, I preferred 850

Go to hell, if you ate less your brain would grow instead of your ass

- Fuck your mother - My god,

marriage should be like a nuns vows, renewed every five years

I'm going to the bar

- Hello - Hello Juanita

Are you crazy? Another look like that and Juanito will pulverize you

We'll see, I work out a lot

But he was a boxer, they called him the the Bomber of Vallecas,

he hits like a truck

Besides, I'm not looking for women

Look, that's not a woman, that's a real female,

and I'm telling you she wants you

- That can't be - Oh, it can't?

So what does your boss do with that woman you've mentioned?

That's different, it's not the same for rich people

They make love, we fuck

You say that, the creator of the Neosocialist Party?

Hasn't the proletariat made giant leaps towards liberty?

And that includes cheating on Julia?

Ramon, you're old fashioned,

people settle things like that peacefully these days

Oh wow

- Does Juanito know it? - Know what?

All that stuff about advancement and liberty man

Juanito's a retard,

anyway, it's been years since he's boxed and he must be rusty

C'mon, take a chance

Yeah? Then why don't you sleep with her and tell me about it later?

Well fuck, because you're the one she likes

Look, let's make a deal,

I'll tell her you'll meet her tonight at my place

I'll lend it to you, a friend's a friend, after all

Alright, and then what?

I do you that favor and you let me know what happened

- Yes, but... - Stop with buts and think of the prize

- What will it be? - Two Ca�as

Fancy, are you celebrating something?

Two Ca�as

Slut,

do you want him to take you right at the bar?

You're a tease

Fuck yourself, what do I care? I'm sick of being here

If your mother could see this, she was a real saint

Well, that's just a saying, because I also..

Well, the nut doesn't fall far from the tree

Well, it's done

What's that? What are you saying?

Here, the key to my home, you know, the third on the right

She'll be there at 11. You have some luck you bastard

Me? Oh mother

Come my love, what are you waiting for?

Yes, yes, I want you

Juanita, you're the most beautiful woman in the world,

so why me? you must beat men off with sticks.

- I do - So why me?

You'll know soon enough

- Will we see each other tomorrow? - At the same time

I'm going to get dressed

I'll leave first, god forbid we be seen together

Ms. Vicky,Ms Vicky!

What's the matter Alicia?

I've told you over a thousand times not to bother me when I'm relaxing

A very strange woman wants to see you, she says it's urgent

- Did she tell you her name? - Yes Miss,

she told me to tell you she's the Illuminated One,

that you'd understand

- Her... - What was that?

Tell her to come in

What a lifestyle, what luxury

They had told me but I wouldn't have believed it if i hadn't seen it

What do you want, have you come to investigate the way I live?

Oh no Laurenca,

how could you think I'd come for something so pointless?

Don't call me Laurenca!

Well now, you've left me speechless

I've seen nice pads in my time but a retirement like yours,

you must have a nice sugar daddy

You know, security takes intruders away in a van,

I only have to dial the number

You were always a bitch,

you get a little cash and you start putting on airs

I see the venom factory continues in full swing you leech

I know that no one can top that attitude of yours

but when learn what I came for, it'll knock you down a notch

I know what you came for. How much?

Easy sister

Spit it out already

- Do you remember Fifi? - Fifi?

- Of course, so what? - Well, she needs more coke

It's an expensive habit and Fifi can't live without it

An associate of mine deals it. Does that interest you?

Sure

Fifi sold him the negatives

of the pictures you did in the nude for those magazines

That's a lie, Fifi tore the negatives up in front of me

The poor thing didn't want to tear up your pictures,

she was in love,

so she tore up some others in their place

- Oh no - Oh yes

Look, I have an address here

Balthazar Fernandez Candela...

- Alright, how much? - 500,000,

a reasonable price, wouldn't you say?

When and how do you want it?

That's my secret,

you don't think I'm a beginner, do you?

I'll call you Laurenca, I'll call you

Oh fuck, these aren't mine So long

Gerard, my love, they've blackmailed me

Mon Dieu girl,

blackmail is like gaining weight, once it starts it never ends

Tell me, how much have they asked for, combien?

- Half a million - Ooh la la, how barbarous

Tell me ch�rie, tell me and let's see what we come up with

Fifi, that one girl, the drug addict

I know, I know, if Balthazar found out it'd be terrible, ne dirais-tu pas?

Gerard, I don't know what to do,

I'm desperate, we have to find a solution

Shit, look at the muscles on these guys

Hey, you like them because they say

that in the moment of truth they can hold back

It could be dear, it depends

I like you Katya, you're the most beautiful woman in the world

Really love?

- Are you waiting for someone? - No one love, I swear

At this hour it'd be the porter He's always nasty

- Hey, where are you going? - Where I feel like going

- Bitch - Who says, you?

- Yes, me, Laurena - I shit on your father

You could do that because I have one, you on the other hand...

- I'll kick your ass out of here - Sure sure, you think you can?

Foreign whore, aren't you happy with having had more men than a hotel,

you wanted to fuck him too so he'd give you a role in the next movie

You're mistaken beautiful, I didn't want to fuck him, I have fucked him

Cancer, it'll give me cancer!

You can be sure, and you'll lose one of your tits too

Now they've done it

Goddamnit, this is what I get for being with so many whores

Mariano was right, what can you expect but for them to act like whores?

- I'll get cancer - Don't worry, you'll be fine

Of course this had to end up like this

What's going on here, what's all this fuss?

She's a hussy, every day a different man,

this is a lair of perversion

Nothing's going on, nothing like that

Is there a fight?

A fight? Nothing like that Officer, you can rest easy

Nothing happened here Goodnight

Let's go Goodnight

Katya dear, could you make me some tea with lemon

and give me some of those cookies the newspaper man brought you?

Of course

He's an asshole

He takes advantage of us because we have to work,

if it wasn't for that I wouldn't touch the man with a stick

And with that face like a dried up turd he has

- Alicia, go now please - Yes Miss

We can't forget Leticia

The first person she talks to about my past life,

I'll kill the bastard, you hear me?

Voila, an idea.

You'll call a private detective I have complete trust in

- Why hadn't it occurred to me before? - You think?

He's a hawk, he'll find a solution in a jiffy

But we don't even know where I have to deliver the money

Leave it to me, the great Gerard will fix everything

This is Gerard calling Inspector Ortega

No, I didn't say Madame Gerard, I'm Mister Gerard!

Yes yes, I'll be waiting

Mon Dieu, what cretinous people The fucker thought I was a woman

Ortega is out for coffee, he'll call us soon

- Thank you maam - What do you think?

A Cifuentes, and of the large variety, thank you very much maam

You're welcome

Blackmailers is it? You've done very well to call me

I'll take care of this business before the cock crows

They won't be bothering the lady anymore,

I'll make an infallible plan, a perfect one

- A Chivas on ice - And another Coca Cola for me

Gregorio, you and Amanda have to come tonight

You can leave after dinner,

but understand that the president of General Standard

is important enough for you to make an effort

You know very well that's not the problem. Amanda-

Gregorio, you have to keep up appearances

When you have a position as important as yours

personal considerations are secondary

- Hello - What?

Did you hear about Trema�ez?

- No, did something happen to him? - No, nothing ever happens to him

It's his second wife, she committed suicide with gas

- With gas this time - Quiet, enough of this nonsense

Well I'll be quiet, but...

Remember, we'll be waiting for you tonight

Why does everyone want to have dinner tonight?

Well, I have to go

Everyone who doesn't drink is a faggot

- Goodbye Balthazar - We'll be expecting you at 9:30

We'll be there. Goodbye Arturo

I hate this dinner tonight,

having to put up with that imbecile Tina

We have to go, it's a dinner in my honor

They call you when they need you,

maybe in a few years they'll throw you out into the street

and people won't even remember you exist

It's possible, but in any case we have to go,

the Americans are very important

Well I shit on them

He stays so young...

and I...

My god, these bags under my eyes,

they look like shopping bags

Amanda, by god, be sure not to drink tonight

My, how white

How are you Amanda dear, you look precious

Thank you, what suits me the best are these wrinkles,

I had them ironed this afternoon

Why didn't you do the same to your dress, it's a bit wrinkled

Oh, the couple, how are you?

Come come, many people are wanting to see you

You know, we all came

Let me present you.

Mr. Morrison, Mr. Gregorio Carerras and Amanda, his wife

Cette imb�cile

I'm telling you, it was like that all day, it was great, just great

Parlez vous Espagnol?

What a strange guy, North American and he doesn't speak English

Amanda dear, Mr. Morrison speaks English, he just doesn't speak French

- Who's speaking to him in French? - You, just a few seconds ago

Americans only speak English love, English

And why, what's wrong with them,

are they too important to learn another language,

- are they too bourgeois? - Please Amanda

Well don't worry, I'll talk to him in English

Alright, that's stupendous

Vous �te le president du General Standard depuis longtemps?

Mr. Morrison, I've just figured it out,

you have the face of a penguin

The president of General Standard is a penguin, he's a penguin!

Ladies and gentlemen, let's have dinner please

Let's go

Inspector, what will we do?

Don't worry, don't worry at all, I'm here

- Yes, but what can you do? - Everything!

Look, from the beginning I've been an agent

of the famous agency Lintze,

you heard of it, no? They called me The Owl

Oh yes? Well...

The best agency in the world,

adultery, amorous entanglements, broken promises,dubious conduct,

in five years not a single failure. Now you'll see

Has Miss called?

The luggage, bring the luggage

You can go now Alicia, thank you

Now you'll see

Voila!

Allez-oop,you'll be surprised dear madam

Here's everything

Wigs, dentures, fake money

and I can disguise myself as a butcher,

a mechanic,

a killer,

a plumber

I have more wigs, and if I try

I can even disguise myself as a middle-aged woman

And on top of that,

a magnifying glass

So?

- And what's all this for? - Here is the answer:

When that Illuminated One ask whoever to come get the pictures

who will be there?

Ortega, dressed for the occasion!

But the Illuminated One doesn't know you

Madam, a policeman is a policeman

and a criminal always recognizes him,

of course, if he were disguised,

impossible

- Well, if you say so... - I guarantee it Madam!

What will it be?

I can't wait to get my hands on you.

I'll wait for you, you hear? I'll wait for you

Two beers, on the double

Hello

Calm down man, you'll have a heart attack

A heart attack! Bitch!

That she could do this to me,

to Juan Elosco, the Bomber of Vallecas

and associate of the Bolt? I shit on my mother, fucking hell

- What's up with him? - Quiet, stay quiet

If they ask you deny everything

So now you know, always say no, understand?

I don't understand a thing

I'm trying to tell you the girl is pregnant, understand now?

Pregnant? My god. What the hell do we do now?

Face the situation head on

By the way, why have they broken Juanito's arm?

That's a story,

the bar was full from wall to wall

and Juanito comes out of the back yelling

"I'll kill the son of the bitch who's touched my Juanita, I'll kill him!"

Afterwards he hit the bar so hard he broke his hand

Fuck, what a beast.

In that case I'm not facing anything

Besides, if she got pregnant that's her thing,

I have nothing to do with it

What surprises me is that she's so happy. Look at her

She's a saint, did you see that, she didn't say anything to you

- What would she have to say to me? - That's your thing,

but everyone knows that girls these days get abortions as soon

as they get knocked up and yet there you have her happy as a clam

The girl they say is pregnant is hot

Don't I know it, if I found out who it is I'll congratulate him

Man, to have a kid with Juanita and her so happy on top of it

Don't you hear those guys?

She's a brave girl. Just look at her, like a queen

Didn't I tell you? And you went back on your word

- Went back on my word, me? - Yes

I'm the one who got the girl pregnant,

I'm just discreet about things,

but our kid will be handsome for sure

and we'll call him Ramon after me

Yes, and Julia will just sit there twiddling her thumbs. Ramon,

it's one thing to follow through and another to be stupid

- Juanita - Coming

Two double servings of beer.

Baby, now I understand everything

- What, don't you want beer anymore? - I said I understand everything now

Listen,

this Sunday at 11 pm at this guy's house, be there

I'll be there

Two double servings of beer

Ramon, you're losing yourself,

at least go to Mr. Napolinad's office so he can explain your rights to you

What's all this about rights?

Juanita and I are a man and a woman, a man and a woman

The rest doesn't matter

You're a bitch Esmeralda

I always knew you were, but not this much

So now you know.

If I tell you the truth it'll be a weight off my shoulders

Whore, slut

You're like those chickens that run after

the first rooster they lay their eyes on

Can I know what the meaning of this is?

I thought everything was clear between us,

that I didn't matter to you anymore

Besides, you haven't even touched me for a month

And what's worse than that

when you did touch me you wouldn't rise to the ocassion

You disgust me, you hear me? You disgust me!

You're with an associate of mine, with a friend!

You've made a fool of me!

I don't need you anymore newspaper man,

I'm a famous actress

The horse is mine, anyone I feel like can ride it

Don't abandon me Esmeralda, you're my last chance

I'm old and tired. I want you, I need you

Don't touch me, just thinking about it makes me want to vomit

You've become very sensible,

you didn't think that when I took you from the gutter

Esmeralda, by everything you love,

let me now, I beg you, just one last time

Tonight I'll go out for dinner and I'll sleep with whoever I please

not just one but several, all in your honor Director

Pig! Bastard!

Son of a bitch!

I'll rip my skin off until I bleed to death

so I don't have to feel your repugnant hands on my body

You'll go back to the gutter bitch, I give you my word

You're finished, you're no one anymore!

No one! You hear me, no one!

I hope you didn't forget to repeat the scene in tha bathroom,

fuck, they laughed so much at that one in the last movie

How do you expect me to repeat the same scene,

do you want to get booed?

You write, I'll worry about what the audience likes

Hey, who's producing the movie this time?

Some German aristocrat who wants to be a star

He's got no fucking idea about acting,

but since he's ponying up the cash...

Do you remember that girlfriend of mine, the chorus girl?

Who, Lorena?

The beautiful swan with the brain of a goose?

Well, goose or not, she's sleeping with Alain Delon,

- what do you think of that? - So she's cheating on you?

Well I think it's great, I mean, Delon banging her and all

I've never liked the term banging, it sounds like carpentry

besides, all these women are whores, right?

Right, but there are categories,

first class whores, second class, third

Well Lorena Duke is at least a third class whore

Sure sure, third class and she's with Delon,

and before that a judge was banging her

It makes no difference,

it's not like she's suddenly classier because of the judge

- We'll have a drink and leave right away - Alright

Come on, there's a spot there

Look at Dr. Trema�ez, and with a new one

What a mess, huh? The third one, let's see how long she lasts

Keep your tongue still at least for today

Don't worry, besides, I'm feeling sick

Fuck, I'm not doing too good, I'm going to the bathroom

- Hello Mr. Arturo - Hello Barbara

- Is something wrong? - No, it's nothing

Martha, it's me, Adolfo. Do you want to sleep with me?

Will you be able to? When?

- Now - Well...

I'll be at the apartment in 20 minutes

No laxatives or anything...

- Let's go to bed - Let's go

What's all the racket?

Fuck, I shit on my father

I completely forgot I invited those imbeciles over for some drinks

And if we didn't open?

No good, they're liable to beat the door down

- You're leaving? - Yes

Wait beautiful, please, as soon as they go we can fuck a little

Some other day

Don't forget to call me, this can't stay this way

Sure, I'll call you

Come in girls, and how are you, ready to celebrate?

- How's the great auteur? - Here are your most devout admirers

Auteur, I love you, you're more handsome every time

Remember, one, two, three, now

Stop with the bullshit, it's me, don't come to me with your act

There's no reason to act like a bigger creep than usual Illuminated One

Go to hell. Do you have the money?

I want you to bring it

Yes, yes I have it. Where do I take it?

Do you know that Cristo de Nappoli's?

- Yes, near the Palace - Well, no

Instead of Cristo's you go to the Emmanuelle,

in the Salamanca neighborhood,

it's a disco on the corner there

Tomorrow at 11 pm

Hello? Listen, wait

But tomorrow I have a dinner date I can't get out of, what do I do?

Don't worry Madam, I'll go in your place.

You'll soon see my transformation,

I'm a real Fregoli, you'll see

He died sitting on the throne, a heart attack

The woman in charge of the towels got worried when he wasn't coming out

and they found the poor man like that.

Dr. Trema�ez was here but nothing could be done

He was a drunk but he didn't seem like a bad person

He was a tightwad and a gossip to boot

Rocky, have some respect for the dead

Hello Mr. Antonio

Dear, you're the best lover I've had

Many 20 year old's would love to have your abilities,

- you're like a train - Today I'm like a tiger,

you'll see, you'll see, at least five

My love, that's not difficult for you

And now for the main act

What a man

You're marvellous, you're a god

This is different

What's wrong?

what's happened?

Can you imagine, one dies shitting and the other fucking,

how rude, don't you think? How horrible

Who are we to talk

No, don't say anything, splendid right?

What's this? Have you seen what I look like?

My lady, trust me, I'm an artist

But ch�rie, he looks just like you, magnifique, astounding,

and with the glasses no one will recognize him

Good thing he's wearing lots of jewels or no one would think it was me

They call me Vicky Sparkles, did you know?

Because of you're resplendent beauty, I imagine

The less I take the better

Onwards, I'm ready for anything!

Did you hurt yourself?

Mon dieu! What a disaster!

Keep off, fuck, get off!

What hurts is my knee, the rest doesn't matter!

What a stupid blow I've given myself

Let's go

She's come in long tails

and she's wearing those glasses to go incognito

- This is Ahmed, the dealer - Oh yes..

- He's the associate I mentioned - Enchanted

- Let's see the money then - The pictures first

You had such good time back then, eh Laurenca?

Here's the money

This isn't money

The bitch, this is all fake

He'll kill him, he'll kill him for sure

This hair's going to get me in trouble

Blessed saints, what a scandal, what a scandal

Oh Mother Mary

My dear friend, I don't have the words

No it's nothing Ms. de las Torres, Ms. Vicky

My poor friend, I know you've suffered very much,

I don't know how to repay you

How much do I owe you?

I want you

But you already have me, dear friend,all my friendship is yours

You don't want to plough me, do you?

Yes yes, everything, I want to plough everything

- I don't understand - Yes, I know you understand

Come on love,

I spent many sleepless nights looking at those pictures

A woman that does those things...

And his breath smells bad on top of it, how disgusting

Dirty cop,

what made you think you could make it with me?

You're playful slut who's made me lose sleep over your body

C'mon Vicky,

off to bed with Uncle Ortega, you know what'll happen if you don't,

- the photos go in the mail - Bastard

You won't have the pleasure of undressing me

No one undresses Vicky de las Torres except whom she pleases

What a marvel, perfect. You should be in a museum

What a monument

Yes yes, I know

No Paolo, I don't want to

It's the third price raise Ramirez, the third raise in two months,

so sell it off

I'm telling you to put the stocks on the market no matter what

Yes, exactly, let it sink and go bankrupt

Ramirez, you hear me?

I don't give a damn

- What do you want? - Long live Karl Marx!

What was that?

Long live the revolution Dad, I'm an anarchist

What you are is a dumbass. Clean yourself up!

What can you expect from an imbecile who wants to ride the metro

Capitalist

To be honest I miss Arturo

Imaging dying like that

And then the illustrious Dr. Trema�ez

kicks the bucket while being ridden like a horse

That seems bad to you? I'd sign up for that

- And then there's what Tamendia did - What did he do?

Left his wife and five kids and married Scarmiakov

I knew it, I bet it was a shotgun wedding

The best thing is that Mamushka thought she had made the deal of the century

and it turns out that Tamendia doesn't have a cent to his name

Forgive me gentlemen, we've had an anonymous tip

They said they put a bomb in the place but it could be a false alarm

Fucking terrorists, they don't even let a person have a drink in peace anymore!

Come, let's go, run, hurry up!

Would you like anything else?

No, nothing, thank you, you can go

- Goodnight - Goodnight

Did you know that Esmeralda Vega dumped Ricardo Marquez

Anyone could see that coming

And now the guy consoles himself writing articles criticizing her

He's an asshole

Listen...

how much has he gotten out of you?

Then... you too?

So you knew?

He's gotten 500,000 from me,

but now it's over, not a cent more, you hear me?

And you don't care?

If I wanted a nun I would have looked for her in a convent

But we should be careful, Leticia must never find out,

she's as pure as a flower

Juanita my love, you're so beautiful,

you'll see I'll make you happy

- Don't be afraid baby, I'll save you - I'm not afraid

I know you're a brave girl,

but in any case I'm here for whatever you need

- But weren't you married? - I still am, but I'm a man of duty

like few men, and if Julia doesn't like it she can go to hell

I don't know what you're talking about

What do you think, the baby, you're pregnant aren't you?

Yes, but don't worry,

and thanks for saying you'd take care of it, it was a great joke

What joke, it's my son, isn't it? It's natural I claim it

- The baby is mine - You mean ours

I mean mine, just mine

Don't make things more complicated,

I thought you wanted a good time with me

and I think you've had it, so that's it

Look Ramon, I'm going to get married, understand?

Not at all

Oh boy, I guess I'll have to tell you everything

Do you give me your word that you won't tell anyone?

My word

- You swear? - I swear

I have a boyfriend you know

- What do you mean a boyfriend? - Yes, a boyfriend,

but he's a modern boy,

it had been two years and he still hadn't made up his mind,

- understand? - No, I don't understand anything

Man, I'm going to have to draw a picture for you

I like him, I'm crazy for him

He's an engineer, but he's sterile

- What's that? - He's sterile

and I didn't know what to do to get him to marry me

so I had this idea

You tart, you used me like a sperm bank

Oh man, so we have to ask permission for even that?

You're not going to tell me that you slept with me to have kids, are you?

No, but...

Then shut up, you got what you wanted and so did I, we're both satisfied

You think so? I'll tell my wife, I'll tell Felipe Gonzalez,

- I'll tell- - You won't tell anyone,

remember, you swore

- What, not even Braolo? - Not even him

Juanita, then you never had your eye on me?

You never liked me even a little bit?

Of course I did

Look, I'll tell you something,

if I wasn't in love with the engineer

I would have fallen in love with you

Thank you my love Thank you for everything,goodbye

Goodbye Juanita

She's tossed me aside,

tossed me aside for an engineer and with my son inside her

Damn my luck, an accident was just what I needed

Drop everything you have on you quick or we'll cut you

You're wimps and don't have the balls to do anything

C'mon boys, let's teach him a lesson

We're going to kill you bastard

Get off of me dumbass

We're gonna leave him bare

Bastards, sons of bitches,

if the country is headed this way... damnit!

Pervert! Exhibitionist!

So you lack decency and morals, do you?

- Move it - I'm fucked, I'm fucked

Do you like it?

I was over the moon, she's going to get married...

They beat me half to death, steal even my underwear,

and on top of that they lock me up as an exhibitionist

If it hadn't been for Mr. Balthazar I'd still be in jail

Well damn, that's why you can't trust anyone,

so everything you told me was a lie?

What a friend, I get a beating,

I get robbed and locked up and you don't give a damn

I'm sorry man, I'm sorry,

but that thing about Juanita was a lie, right?

- No, it wasn't a lie - Well explain it to me

I can't, fuck, I can't explain it to you

What a mess this is, first you say you got her pregnant

and now it's the other guy, what comes next?

Back off, what the hell do you care?

It's none of your business who got her pregnant, right?

You're crazy, if it bothers me it's because there's someone else

If there's someone else then it means she's messing around,

that you're a cuckold

You're right, I'm a cuckold, but the other guy is too

Yes Ramirez. Yeah yeah

I'm relaxing, I don't want to hear a word of it, understand?

As for the construction business I already spoke to Lopez Vargas.

Goodbye

If it wasn't for these days off...

Hey Balthazar, why didn't you get Jacobo to come along?

Anarchists don't go to Marbella, you hear me?

Oh no? Why not?

Fuck, if everyone on the Right is like you we're going down

Free love, contraception, divorce, equality,

the clever ones are the ones on the Left

Well, the ones in the middle too

I don't know who the asshole that said golf was a relaxing sport was

When you are weak, it will seem that only problems surround you.

What do you mean Amanda?

I left the newspaper because I felt like it

Then people have the wrong idea,

everyone thinks you got fired

That's enough, into the water

And who says that huh, who?

People who steal,

who sell themselves for nothing, who prostitute themselves,

who piss themselves

I don't know how to swim!

I'm drowning!

Ramon, tonight is the night

Young master, you're going to get me in trouble

We fight for the greater good and the fight must be everyones

- So long - So long Master Jacobo

Madrid must be burning up

Let them deal with it.

Anyway, they always complain about everything

What I don't understand is what the hell they complain about,

they have everything,

cars, refrigerators, televisions, unions

The ones that are really screwed are businessmen

When us businessmen had the reins things were good

People have the governments they deserve,

there hasn't been nor will there be more than shit around here

Well for not knowing how to swim you sure float well in shit

Us gifted types always rise to the top, don't forget it

Everyone fight against firing of workers

Everything's perfect. Head home Ramon, full speed ahead

Damn my luck,

if Balthazar finds out about this he'll throw me out into the street

Ty [rarelust]