Original subtitles

The story of this butcher, Gérard Hazan,

whose shop went from kosher to grocer overnight is stunning.

Tell us, Gérard, what happened?

Well, um...

I mean, I got a bit too ambitious.

And... the thing is, I wanted to remodel everything alone. I got overwhelmed.

But tell us what your project was, Gérard.

Well, the initial idea was to do a hookah lounge bar, but...

extra fancy.

A bar with hookahs and meat?

That's right. Like, here, for example, this was my old cold storage.

Right? That will be a smoking room.

You know, where the clients can get really high. Uh, get really chill.

[ALARM CHIMES]

Oh, sorry. It's a reminder for my pills.

All right, cut. Cut.

You really need to do something about your friend.

We've done 20 takes. It's not working. Do something.

- Let me fix this. - Thank you.

- Gérard? - What?

Can you focus for a minute?

- You're ruining our day. - Give me five minutes.

My head feels like a couscous maker. It's gonna explode, I'm exhausted.

- Five minutes. - Fine. But get it together.

Gaston, I'm doing this for you.

Your friend is such a weirdo.

You got a little...?

- You want a cig? - No, no.

I mean, weed.

No.

Maybe hash?

'Cause I figured with, uh, your thing, you know.

- No. - Okay.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

- Hey, Ali, how's it going? - Hey, guys.

- See you around. - See you around.

Fuck, that smells.

Your legs are longer than I thought. I'll make it to your ankle.

- No, no, no. - Guys, this is bad.

- What? - What's going on?

We got cops everywhere. It smells like weed.

We know that, Ali.

Then why don't you do something?

Taking care of his suit. I can't be everywhere.

Why don't you close the door behind you?

The suit's too small, as usual.

Exactly. I agree with Ali, it's too small.

I can't go meet the minister with sleeves this short, it's for kids.

Hey, who left that door open? We're gonna get busted with that smell.

I might have an idea...

- Wait. Ludmila! - [Ludmila groans]

If you interrupt me constantly, it's not gonna work.

What do you call that dish? Your Yiddish stinky dish? With intestines?

- Kishke! - [Gérard] That's it.

Can you make three, four buckets to cover the smell?

Three or four buckets to cover the smell.

Good. Tomorrow I need you all at the butcher shop at 3 p.m.

- The TV host wants testimonials. - No, I'd rather not be seen on TV.

Sure, I'll make it work. I'll be there at 3.

No, forget it. It's only for family.

Oh.

Tomorrow's no good, Dad. For me, at least.

I have a meeting with Aure...

Whoa. Wait. What meeting?

- We need... - [Gérard] A business meeting? Huh?

If it's about business, Enrico and I need to know about it.

It's not for that. It's just paperwork, a real pain.

And, actually, we got it through Enrico's contacts, you know.

Thank God we can count on Enrico.

- [Joseph] Yeah. - Yeah. True.

Listen, guys, I have an idea to cover the smell around the house.

I could blast sneaky farts.

[laughs]

Do me a favor, focus on your suits. I'm tired of hearing your bullshit.

Ludmila!

- I'm counting on you! - [Ludmila] Give me a break.

[water spraying]

You know Gérard, he's an asshole.

Because, honestly, I don't give a fuck about being on the show.

He treats me like shit. No one says anything.

He's right, you know. You're not a Hazan.

I'm fine with that, I know I'm not a Hazan.

Still. How many years have I been busting my ass to help them out?

- Ow! Hold on. It burns. - But, honey, you're constantly moving.

- I'm moving because... - You're moving.

I'm just so annoyed, that's why.

Relax, you don't need them, you have me, huh? Right? You have me.

- And you're happy and satisfied. - It's just, I'd like to get a "thank you."

I don't know.

You just have to ask me,

in a split second, there's no more Hazan.

What do you mean?

The shop, it can be you and me, not them.

Wait, I'm sorry, that's not...

They're not letting you in the family, but I'll let you right in my family.

- Honey, that's very sweet... - Let's get married.

What?

Well, you want a family, marry me.

Ha. I'm sorry, hold on, but...

You realize we've only been dating for three weeks.

Oh, yeah, sure. No, no. Let's not get married.

No, Clémentine, I was just surprised...

- No problem. - Aw, come on. I'm sorry.

- There's no problem. - I just...

Zero problem.

[Joseph] It's working really well. Well done.

It smells like kishke all the way up to the woods.

- Hey. - Officers, how are you?

- Great. I see you're all eating. Sweet. - [woman] Good to see you.

It's good, right? It's good stuff.

Please thank the chef for us.

Right away. Right now.

Awesome. Enjoy your meal.

What the heck is going on?

It's grandma, she cooked her stinky kishke.

A policeman showed up and loved it.

Next thing we know, we had to feed the entire station.

By any chance could I get more "meluria"?

Mloukhiya. Yeah, I'll bring you some. Go back in with your plate.

No, wait. Seriously? You're out of your mind.

What else could we do? Kicking them out would have been suspicious.

[sighs] Thank you, that was delicious.

Ah! We're so glad you liked it.

- All right. See you tonight. - Yeah, tonight. Cool.

Goodbye.

Why "see you tonight"?

Are you cooking for them tonight, too?

No, not at all. She's taking me shooting tonight.

What? Sounds fun, right?

Okay, you know what? This is a fucking mad house.

What the hell is that?

You gotta be kidding.

What the fuck?

Bro?

What the fuck is that?

It's a cow. It's for the dung.

But what for?

I'll have her shit all around to cover the smell.

Look at the beauty she dropped.

- Check it out. Isn't that awesome? - That's awesome.

Yeah.

[sniffs]

Doesn't smell. Weird.

[inhales deeply]

Doesn't smell.

Uh-oh.

- No smell at all. - Uh...

- Are you sure? - [inhales]

'Cause you got your nose covered in it.

[gags and coughs]

Fucking shit!

I got shit on my nose!

I'm bringing it back. Is it still on me?

- Yeah. - Shit!

- Take it back where you got it. - Come on, Colette.

- You have some here. - Here?

- Yeah, yeah. - So gross!

You have a mustache now.

All of that was caused by these freaking vegans.

Because when I was a kid, if anyone said "I don't eat meat,"

well, he was seen as a lunatic. Ha-ha!

Oh, cut, cut. Listen, Gérard.

- What? - You need to make an effort.

You can't bitch about everyone.

- Ah... - I mean, it's a family TV program.

My job is to get the viewers to like you. Have empathy for you.

So, I don't know. Tell us about the things you enjoy.

Tell us about your family.

My family? What do you want me to say?

Well, this butcher shop right here, it's my entire life.

And this is where I met my wife.

I was still an apprentice.

This is where I asked for her hand. To her father, Isidore.

Um...

I remember him, but... I wasn't up to the task at all.

And so, Isidore told me...

[in deep voice] "Rest assured..." He had a deep voice like that.

"Rest assured, as long as I'm alive, you, you will never have her."

[in normal voice] May he rest in peace.

May he rest in peace.

[sighs] And then...

Here with Béné, we lived our life here. Right here.

And we saw our children grow up.

And we were happy.

And...

Béné has passed, I know that, but I...

Right here, I...

[clears throat]

I see her everywhere. I see her.

Is that good now? Got what you wanted?

Got me to cry. Happy now?

- No. - All right, enough. Get out.

- Gérard. - No more "Gérard, Gérard."

Man, this looks weird on me.

You look gorgeous, it fits you great.

You can have it if you want.

That's okay. Have anything else I can borrow?

What's this interview for?

I told you, I'm meeting a guy, who's like a banker in a bank.

Not far from here, in fact. It's in the... I can't think. It's downtown.

We met, uh... Oh, my gosh, when was that?

Uh, like... I think it dates back to college with Joe.

Just like your brother, I ask one question and never get the same answer twice.

That's not true.

Anyway, listen, we all have our secrets.

Well, no, I don't have secrets.

I say whatever I need to say.

"I say whatever I need to say." Well, I don't do that.

[Aïda chuckles]

Wait, what?

No.

[laughs]

Are you messing with me?

No.

- You're pregnant? - Mm-hm.

Oh, God, that's insane.

I'm gonna be an auntie. It's so fucking great.

Why didn't I find out from Joe? He can't keep a secret.

- He hasn't told me yet. - That's because he, um...

He doesn't know yet.

He doesn't know yet?

No.

Why?

Uh, well... I mean, you know your brother. He...

It's hard for me to see a future with him.

But you love each other. And he'll be a great father.

Uh, yeah, I know he will.

But, uh, I don't think it's the right time now.

Well, anyway, you keep it to yourself.

[exhales]

That's the hardest secret I've ever kept. Come on.

Okay, I mean, you know, it's your decision.

I mean, to be honest, I noticed your boobs have gotten a lot bigger.

[both chuckle]

No, no, no!

It's almost legalized. It's time to tell Aïda.

What? Why bring up Aïda now? Why are you stressing me out?

I'm bringing it up because everyone knows but her.

She's my best friend, and I'm tired of lying to her every day.

We'll wait until the law passes. It can wait one more month.

- Good morning, sir. - Good morning.

Aure and Joseph Hazan. Ahem.

No, you're not on the list.

I'm sorry. Can you step aside?

- Wait. We don't need to be on the list. - Are you sure, sir?

We got an invite from very, very high up. All right?

The minister's daughter invited us.

All right, calm down. If you're not on the list, you're not on the list.

So, I'm asking you, step aside, and stay calm and quiet.

Shit! Why the fuck did she play me?

- Thank you so much. - I can't believe it. Shit.

Clémentine?

It's Joseph. What was that?

We got kicked out of the Ministry.

You didn't put us on the list.

- [Clémentine] Serves you right, asshole! - Excuse me?

What's wrong with you?

[Olivier] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the Ministry.

What's going on with your hair?

I didn't have time to finish it.

We were supposed to go there, but she ruined it all.

Calm your girl down, bro.

- Honey? - [Clémentine] Fuck off!

- [Olivier] What? - She's just nuts, man.

Can you open the door, please?

[Clémentine] Happy now? You're back with your best friend.

The Hazans were treating you like shit and you didn't want to hear about Joseph.

And now you're sucking his cock like a whore!

Wow.

- Wanna tell me something, bro? - No, that's not what I said.

But I think I know why she took you off the list. Listen, honey.

Marriage is basically something I'm all for, all right?

- But give it time. Live our lives... - [Clémentine] Shut your mouth!

I'm so confused.

[Joseph] Hold on. Let me continue our conversation.

I'm not mad about the "son of a bitch," You didn't mean it.

[Clémentine] Oh, no, I did mean it. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch!

Okay, well, never mind.

Listen. Olivier's my brother. I've known him since the beginning of time.

And I swear to you, I've never seen him this happy with a girl.

I don't know if you've talked about this, what he shared with you,

but he never knew his parents, he was abandoned as a child.

- Why are you telling her my life story? - Hold on. Listen. Let...

Did you actually know that?

[Clémentine] No, I didn't.

That's why he's so fragile.

You need to take it easy with him. Go slow.

It's like those wild horses. They seem untamable.

You start petting them, offer a haystack, and you will manage to tame them.

And I swear, you will sell them at a very, very, very good price.

Except that you shouldn't sell Olivier.

Olivier is someone you should keep by your side.

And if you do keep him by your side, well, you're gonna win the most amazing races.

I can guarantee that.

I love you, brother.

What I'm saying is, don't ruin what you two are building right now, all right?

I think he really loves you.

[Clémentine] Is that true?

[Joseph whispers] Do you?

[whispers] Yeah, I do.

Well, then tell her, bro, she can't hear you.

[in normal voice] I love you.

Ah! Ah! You're touching me.

I'm right behind.

By the way, for the meeting at the Ministry, don't worry, guys,

I'll talk to my dad. I'm not that crazy, you know.

- No, you're not. - Whoops, that was your dick.

[laughing nervously]

Thank you, brother.

No, you're just not holding it right. Move your thumb.

Oh, damn it!

[both laugh]

- It's normal. Should've shown the safety. - I was so scared.

[doorbell rings]

[ringing continues]

Why the fuck are you here?

What's up? Am I not allowed to come say hi to my sister?

I'm busy right now.

Hold on, hold on.

What's going on with Joseph? Huh?

We're dating. So, what?

"So, what?"

Bastard, I'm gonna kill this motherfucker.

You won't do anything. I do what I want.

- Do you even know your boyfriend? - I do.

I know he's not a loser on welfare who sells drugs and is fed by his mom.

He's a good man.

Next time you spend the weekend in his country house,

look inside his barn.

- See what he's doing. If he's good... - What's he doing?

- Get the fuck out. - You'll see who's the asshole.

LEGALIZATION THE FRENCH SAY YES

Aw, shit. This is good.

[cell phone rings]

Um, Youss, how's it going?

It's my third time calling. Why didn't you answer?

And you're late with my money.

I'm not very late.

But I'm so glad you called because I think I'm gonna need a little extra time.

You want me to give you more days? My sister isn't enough?

What are you talking about? What about your sister?

Listen carefully, don't ever fuck me. Do you understand?

I always find out.

Listen. I'm so sorry that you...

No, actually. No, no, no. No, I'm not. I'm not sorry. Okay?

What goes on between Aïda and me, it's between us. All right?

No one else's business.

- None of my business? - No.

Well, when you end up in a trunk, tied up like a pig,

and I push you off a cliff, you son of a bitch, we'll see about that.

Well, it's clear to me that you love your sister. That's what I'm getting.

But I love your sister, too.

All right? I love her for real. Your sister's the love of my life.

And don't worry about the money.

We're not trying to trick each other. That'd be absurd.

We'll find a way. I'm on it, man.

Damn right, we'll find a way.

You'll find a way, son of a bitch.

You did wonders on your Pastraweed, Ludmila. Bravo.

[Aure] One puff, Dad.

I had one puff, and I'm very, very far away.

This weed is mega strong, Grandma.

[coughing] Actually, it didn't have time to dry properly.

For now it's just at 50 percent.

If this thing works out,

you're gonna spoil your little JP.

- Gérard? - [Gérard] Huh?

That's you in the painting.

That's you.

That's me, yeah.

[all laughing]

Aw, my Béné...

[pounding on door]

Who's at the door?

- I'll go see. - Wait. I'll go.

No, no, no, I'm the only one who's almost sober.

What are you doing? [coughs]

Quiet, guys.

Coming!

Aw, shit! Uh...

It's the police.

[indistinct chatter]

Come in.

How are you?

Oh, not so good.

- Something wrong? - Yeah, there's a problem.

Aw, shit.

I don't know what's going on, but we have a very big issue with our water pipes.

Not us, huh?

We didn't touch anything.

No, it's not from you, I'm sure.

Our issue is that tonight is our team's 10th anniversary,

and now our building's underwater.

I only see one option for you.

Foam party!

- Foam for all! - Uh... [chuckles]

- Well, no, no, no. - No?

Not gonna happen. But I was wondering if we could do the party in your barn.

LEGALIZATION THE FRENCH SAY YES

Uh, no.

What?

No.

- No? - No, no, no.

- What do you mean, no? - No, unfortunately...

my thingamabobs are all, uh, inside.

They're all together.

In the barn.

Tons of them.

That's not a problem. I'll send 20 guys to clear everything, then put it back in.

All right. Okay, uh...

- Hey. - Oh, hello.

She's my sister. Have you met?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we have.

Uh, using the barn's gonna be complicated

'cause our mom didn't like when we brought some...

She's dead.

Yes.

- That's right. - My condolences.

And Mom didn't like it when we brought food inside that was, uh, not kosher.

- Inside the house. - Not since forever.

- Yeah, uh, it's Judaism... - The Jews.

Right.

I understand. Totally.

Anyway, I'm thinking it may be for the best.

'Cause all of our food got flooded.

- Oh, really? - And we all love your cuisine.

You guys could do the catering.

We'll pay you of course.

But, uh...

- It's a good move, huh? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smart.

In these conditions, it would be almost suspicious to say no, huh?

- So, we'll say yes. - Yeah.

A big yes.

Awesome. You guys are our heroes.

So, then we'll come around 7? With the guys to set everything up?

Yeah, it's not a problem for us. You could even come at 8 or 8:30.

Seven's better for us, after it'll be a bit late.

All right. See you around 7.

- See you later. - Awesome.

Kisses.

- Yeah, yeah, kisses. - [laughs]

- Bye. - Ciao.

HAZAN MEATS KOSHER

[Joseph] Let's go.

Put the bags over there.

- Hold this. - I need more bags!

Aw, fuck.

Listen. Uh... [clears throat]

I can explain everything.

Okay? It's very simple.

Everything you see here...

is going to be legal.

It's true.

He's telling the truth for once.

- You got my brother into this? - No, he...

We were just waiting for the right time to tell you.

That's right. Because... I mean, it's a massive business with Enrico.

I swear, it's all good.

The whole family's fucking crazy.

Aïda. Aïda. Aïda!

- Stop. - [Ludmila] Joseph.

- Damn it. Aïda! - Joseph!

You'll fix this later, bubbeleh. Now's not the time. Let's go.

Is that it?

All right.

[Olivier] Gotta hide this cannabis.

I think the wholesale market could be a great option.

No, that's too risky.

There's Virgile's garage.

It's highly secure. I got the code.

But if Virgile finds out, it'd be a mess.

Impossible, he's on vacation with JP and Mélanie for a week.

Really?

Perfect. Give me the truck keys.

I can't let you do that.

If you get caught, you'll get 15 years.

That's fine. I'll have time to shape up in prison, I'll come back totally jacked.

What are you talking about? This is serious. Stop.

You have no choice. You have to deal with the cops, your family.

Give me the keys. Only I can do this.

There's no other choice.

All right. You go. Okay?

But be careful.

Don't worry about me.

- Okay? - Oh, my God.

Thank you, brother.

I'll follow you with my scooter.

- So, you'll make it through the projects. - Thank you, bro.

Be careful, okay?

- You call me. As soon as it's done. - Yeah, let's go.

[truck engine starts]

"HONOR, MOTHERLAND, VALUES, DISCIPLINE."

[pop music playing over speakers]

NATIONAL POLICE FORCE

Excuse me, Mr. Hazan.

We're running out of red.

So, if you have two or three more bottles we could borrow?

I'll take care of it.

- Thanks, Mr. Hazan. - You're welcome.

My barn, my wine. They're getting on my nerves.

Aren't you afraid to be seen by one of the guys here?

No, don't worry. They're all on my team.

- Really? - Yeah.

If anyone has a problem, they can come to me. I'll be glad to handle it.

Seriously?

Oh, my God.

Hey, Joe.

It's all good. The truck's in.

Thank you, God.

Awesome. So, now are you coming back here?

No, I'm going to have dinner with Clém and her dad. I'll bring them Pastraweed.

Then I'll take over for Ali guarding the truck and bring it back tomorrow.

You're a saint. You're a real saint.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

What's wrong? You okay?

Fine. I'm just a bit shaken up, that's all.

Bup, bup, bup.

You hid something from us, Gérard.

Uh, no.

Yes, you did.

What?

What do you mean, what?

I heard you play the guitar. Huh?

- Your mother-in-law told us. Come on! - [laughing]

He's a great player. He's great.

- It's been a while. - Don't be shy. Come on!

Come on, Gérard!

[all chanting] Gérard! Gérard! Gérard!

[cheering and whistling]

[man] L'Chaim!

L'Chaim!

[Joseph] You like that word?

You can say it at your home, too.

[sighs] They drove me crazy.

Would you mind if I let you clean up? I need to see Aïda.

- Go ahead. - Hold on.

What?

Tonight was a very close one.

True.

But one day we'll get busted.

- So, I've given it a lot of thought. - Yes?

With Enrico, I'm gonna find a new place where we can store our products.

Awesome.

Can we talk about this tomorrow?

- You don't realize, right? - What?

Enrico is a celebrity.

- And if he's involved in all that... - You're such an idiot!

Still don't get what's going on?

It's Joseph, he sent you your Enrico.

What's wrong with you? Have you lost your mind, Ludmila? Huh?

Joseph?

Daughter?

You took me for a fool, right?

I'm so sorry.

- But you never would have been in... - No, I'd never have been in. For sure.

[Aure] Don't take it this way.

Now that we're in, we should own it and keep going.

We should own it?

And should you own it playing the lesbian with that policewoman?

- Excuse me? - What?

You see?

You, too, right? You wished you'd found out differently from your sister...

Dad, I don't care if she likes women or not, that's not the point.

She's a policewoman?

A policewoman. Are you...?

Are you dumb?

- Excuse me, what did you say? - You heard me.

You're dumb.

How dare you speak to me like that. Out of your mind?

I'll speak to you how I want.

Wasn't there any other girl for you to fuck?

So, you're gonna give me life lessons? You?

Do you wanna talk about your shitty situation?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Go fuck yourselves, you two! You piss me off.

Assholes!

[door slams]

Why did you do that, Grandma?

He would've found out anyway.

Now we did, it's done.

Yeah, it's done. Right.

All right.

[doorbell ringing]

Aïda, open the door, please.

I don't want to see you. Fuck off.

[knocking]

Open the door.

Leave me alone.

Fuck.

Damn it.

Ali?

Ali?

Is that you, bro?

[grunts]