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Since the dawn of time, humans have
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Since the dawn of time, humans have
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Since the dawn of time, humans have
wondered what the future holds. Will I
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wondered what the future holds. Will I
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wondered what the future holds. Will I
get rich? Will I live long? Will they
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get rich? Will I live long? Will they
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get rich? Will I live long? Will they
ever bring back Mil Manor?
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ever bring back Mil Manor?
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ever bring back Mil Manor?
These questions have stumped our
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These questions have stumped our
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These questions have stumped our
greatest profits. But now, thanks to the
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greatest profits. But now, thanks to the
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greatest profits. But now, thanks to the
internet, we don't have to worry about
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internet, we don't have to worry about
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internet, we don't have to worry about
the future. We can just bet on it.
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the future. We can just bet on it.
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the future. We can just bet on it.
>> Now, to an industry skyrocketing in
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>> Now, to an industry skyrocketing in
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>> Now, to an industry skyrocketing in
popularity, prediction markets. The
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popularity, prediction markets. The
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popularity, prediction markets. The
online platforms like Koshi and Poly
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online platforms like Koshi and Poly
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online platforms like Koshi and Poly
Market are where people bet money on the
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Market are where people bet money on the
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Market are where people bet money on the
outcome of future events.
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outcome of future events.
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outcome of future events.
>> You can bet on sports. You can bet on
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>> You can bet on sports. You can bet on
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>> You can bet on sports. You can bet on
world events. You can bet on like what
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world events. You can bet on like what
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world events. You can bet on like what
song will be on the charts NEXT WEEK.
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song will be on the charts NEXT WEEK.
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song will be on the charts NEXT WEEK.
>> WOW. CAN I BET ON HOW MANY TIMES I'M
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>> WOW. CAN I BET ON HOW MANY TIMES I'M
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>> WOW. CAN I BET ON HOW MANY TIMES I'M
GOING TO SWEAR DURING THIS SEGMENT?
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I BET IT'S OVER 10 because this is
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I BET IT'S OVER 10 because this is
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I BET IT'S OVER 10 because this is
crazy,
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AND THAT'S THREE. THAT'S THREE RIGHT
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AND THAT'S THREE. THAT'S THREE RIGHT
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AND THAT'S THREE. THAT'S THREE RIGHT
THERE. TRUST ME. Bet the over.
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THERE. TRUST ME. Bet the over.
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THERE. TRUST ME. Bet the over.
Of course, I remember a simpler time
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Of course, I remember a simpler time
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Of course, I remember a simpler time
when gambling meant going to the
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when gambling meant going to the
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when gambling meant going to the
racetrack and blowing your kid's college
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racetrack and blowing your kid's college
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racetrack and blowing your kid's college
fund on a tip from a guy who seemed
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fund on a tip from a guy who seemed
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fund on a tip from a guy who seemed
Italian.
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Italian.
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Italian.
Back then, there were only three things
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Back then, there were only three things
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Back then, there were only three things
you could bet on: sports, dice, and
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you could bet on: sports, dice, and
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you could bet on: sports, dice, and
unprotected sex.
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unprotected sex.
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unprotected sex.
You could lose the last one two ways, an
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You could lose the last one two ways, an
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You could lose the last one two ways, an
STD or child support.
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STD or child support.
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STD or child support.
I can't count how many times I woke up
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I can't count how many times I woke up
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I can't count how many times I woke up
in someone's bed. LIKE, UH, COME ON,
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in someone's bed. LIKE, UH, COME ON,
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in someone's bed. LIKE, UH, COME ON,
CHLAMYDIA.
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But thanks to prediction markets, you
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But thanks to prediction markets, you
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But thanks to prediction markets, you
can now bet on basically anything. And I
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can now bet on basically anything. And I
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can now bet on basically anything. And I
mean anything. You can bet on or Kelsey
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mean anything. You can bet on or Kelsey
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mean anything. You can bet on or Kelsey
says invest in nearly 3,500 markets on
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says invest in nearly 3,500 markets on
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says invest in nearly 3,500 markets on
the company's platform.
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the company's platform.
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the company's platform.
>> Things like Oscars, who's going to be
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>> Things like Oscars, who's going to be
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>> Things like Oscars, who's going to be
the next Federal Reserve chair.
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the next Federal Reserve chair.
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the next Federal Reserve chair.
>> How many tweets will Elon Musk send in a
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00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:02,399
>> How many tweets will Elon Musk send in a
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>> How many tweets will Elon Musk send in a
week?
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week?
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week?
>> Who the next James Bond will be? Who
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>> Who the next James Bond will be? Who
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>> Who the next James Bond will be? Who
will be a bridesmaid at Taylor Swift's
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will be a bridesmaid at Taylor Swift's
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will be a bridesmaid at Taylor Swift's
wedding? OH, CHRIST. THAT'S THE
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wedding? OH, CHRIST. THAT'S THE
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wedding? OH, CHRIST. THAT'S THE
STUPIDEST BET I'VE EVER HEARD. Any real
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STUPIDEST BET I'VE EVER HEARD. Any real
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STUPIDEST BET I'VE EVER HEARD. Any real
Swifty knows Taylor's going to have a
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00:02:14,949 --> 00:02:14,959
Swifty knows Taylor's going to have a
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Swifty knows Taylor's going to have a
small private service without
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small private service without
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small private service without
bridesmaids. Next time, try listening to
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bridesmaids. Next time, try listening to
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bridesmaids. Next time, try listening to
the lyrics of her 2010 HIT SPEAK NOW,
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the lyrics of her 2010 HIT SPEAK NOW,
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the lyrics of her 2010 HIT SPEAK NOW,
YOU IDIOT.
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And that's for
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And that's for
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And that's for
now. All of this frivolous gambling
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now. All of this frivolous gambling
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now. All of this frivolous gambling
might have you hoping that the world is
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might have you hoping that the world is
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might have you hoping that the world is
ending. And I have good news. YOU CAN
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ending. And I have good news. YOU CAN
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ending. And I have good news. YOU CAN
BET ON THAT, TOO. ACCORDING TO Poly
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BET ON THAT, TOO. ACCORDING TO Poly
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BET ON THAT, TOO. ACCORDING TO Poly
Market, the odds of Jesus returning this
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Market, the odds of Jesus returning this
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Market, the odds of Jesus returning this
year is 4%.
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year is 4%.
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year is 4%.
Jesus Christ.
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Jesus Christ.
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Jesus Christ.
A 4% chance. That means, and this is
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A 4% chance. That means, and this is
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A 4% chance. That means, and this is
true, Jesus returning has four times
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true, Jesus returning has four times
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true, Jesus returning has four times
better odds than the Jets winning the
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better odds than the Jets winning the
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better odds than the Jets winning the
Super Bowl.
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And if that's not bad enough, people put
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And if that's not bad enough, people put
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And if that's not bad enough, people put
Jesus returning at 4% and Jeffrey
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Jesus returning at 4% and Jeffrey
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Jesus returning at 4% and Jeffrey
Epstein coming back alive at 5%.
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Epstein coming back alive at 5%.
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Epstein coming back alive at 5%.
That's right. It's neck and neck between
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That's right. It's neck and neck between
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That's right. It's neck and neck between
one of history's greatest monsters and
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one of history's greatest monsters and
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one of history's greatest monsters and
Jeffrey Epstein.
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Jeffrey Epstein.
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Jeffrey Epstein.
I GUESS IT KNEW IT. WE ALL KNEW IT.
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I GUESS IT KNEW IT. WE ALL KNEW IT.
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I GUESS IT KNEW IT. WE ALL KNEW IT.
WE'RE NOT IDIOTS. WE WRITE THE STUFF. WE
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WE'RE NOT IDIOTS. WE WRITE THE STUFF. WE
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WE'RE NOT IDIOTS. WE WRITE THE STUFF. WE
PUT IT OUT THERE. WE HOPE FOR THE BEST.
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PUT IT OUT THERE. WE HOPE FOR THE BEST.
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PUT IT OUT THERE. WE HOPE FOR THE BEST.
I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HIT US.
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GOD DAMN IT.
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GOD DAMN IT.
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GOD DAMN IT.
SON OF A AND THAT DOESN'T COUNT
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SON OF A AND THAT DOESN'T COUNT
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SON OF A AND THAT DOESN'T COUNT
TOWARD my number.
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I guess if JESUS IS THE JOKE, TO BE
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I guess if JESUS IS THE JOKE, TO BE
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I guess if JESUS IS THE JOKE, TO BE
HONEST, IS ABOUT JEFFREY EPSTEIN.
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HONEST, IS ABOUT JEFFREY EPSTEIN.
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HONEST, IS ABOUT JEFFREY EPSTEIN.
GOD DAMN IT. SON OF A I hate TO
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GOD DAMN IT. SON OF A I hate TO
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GOD DAMN IT. SON OF A I hate TO
HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS STUFF, BUT I DON'T
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HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS STUFF, BUT I DON'T
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HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS STUFF, BUT I DON'T
WANT TO GO to jail.
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Okay, sorry that was a little extreme.
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Okay, sorry that was a little extreme.
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Okay, sorry that was a little extreme.
I guess if Jesus is coming back, I'm
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I guess if Jesus is coming back, I'm
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I guess if Jesus is coming back, I'm
going to need the cash to bribe my way
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going to need the cash to bribe my way
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going to need the cash to bribe my way
into heaven.
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into heaven.
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into heaven.
Hey, St. Peter, I know you don't have
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Hey, St. Peter, I know you don't have
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Hey, St. Peter, I know you don't have
room for a blasphemous Jew, but what
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room for a blasphemous Jew, but what
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room for a blasphemous Jew, but what
about my friend Ben Franklin?
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about my friend Ben Franklin?
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about my friend Ben Franklin?
Now, if you're worried about people
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Now, if you're worried about people
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00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,030
Now, if you're worried about people
losing all their money gambling, don't
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losing all their money gambling, don't
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losing all their money gambling, don't
worry. A lot of these are
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00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:37,520
worry. A lot of these are
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worry. A lot of these are
cheating.
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cheating.
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cheating.
>> Massive bets on Trump's war with Iran,
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>> Massive bets on Trump's war with Iran,
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00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,469
>> Massive bets on Trump's war with Iran,
raising questions of insider trading on
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raising questions of insider trading on
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raising questions of insider trading on
the prediction market platform Poly
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the prediction market platform Poly
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00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:44,550
the prediction market platform Poly
Market.
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Market.
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Market.
>> Hundreds of accounts placed wagers
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>> Hundreds of accounts placed wagers
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00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,830
>> Hundreds of accounts placed wagers
correctly predicting a US strike on Iran
200
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:49,840
correctly predicting a US strike on Iran
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00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,749
correctly predicting a US strike on Iran
before that strike was publicly known.
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00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:51,759
before that strike was publicly known.
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before that strike was publicly known.
And among them, an account trading under
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And among them, an account trading under
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00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,550
And among them, an account trading under
the username MAGA my man made nearly a
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00:04:56,550 --> 00:04:56,560
the username MAGA my man made nearly a
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00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:00,070
the username MAGA my man made nearly a
million dollars since the war started.
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00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:00,080
million dollars since the war started.
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00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,270
million dollars since the war started.
>> Great job, MAGA my man.
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00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:03,280
>> Great job, MAGA my man.
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00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:05,430
>> Great job, MAGA my man.
I don't know who you are, but I'll keep
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00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:05,440
I don't know who you are, but I'll keep
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00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,070
I don't know who you are, but I'll keep
an eye out for a Rolls-Royce with a
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00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:08,080
an eye out for a Rolls-Royce with a
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an eye out for a Rolls-Royce with a
don't tread on me flag,
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00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:10,720
don't tread on me flag,
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00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,469
don't tread on me flag,
but for all I know, you could be Don Jr.
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00:05:14,469 --> 00:05:14,479
but for all I know, you could be Don Jr.
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00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:18,550
but for all I know, you could be Don Jr.
who is an advisor to both Kshi and Poly
220
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:18,560
who is an advisor to both Kshi and Poly
221
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,310
who is an advisor to both Kshi and Poly
Market.
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Market.
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00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,830
Market.
What the COULD HE POSSIBLY ADVISE THEM
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00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:23,840
What the COULD HE POSSIBLY ADVISE THEM
225
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:28,390
What the COULD HE POSSIBLY ADVISE THEM
ON WHERE TO DROP HIS LARGE BAG OF CASH?
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00:05:28,390 --> 00:05:28,400
ON WHERE TO DROP HIS LARGE BAG OF CASH?
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00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,710
ON WHERE TO DROP HIS LARGE BAG OF CASH?
DON'T WORRY, KOSHI. He'll be awake FOR
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00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:30,720
DON'T WORRY, KOSHI. He'll be awake FOR
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00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,670
DON'T WORRY, KOSHI. He'll be awake FOR
THE NEXT 48 HOURS, so the timing is
230
00:05:33,670 --> 00:05:33,680
THE NEXT 48 HOURS, so the timing is
231
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,510
THE NEXT 48 HOURS, so the timing is
flexible.
232
00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:35,520
flexible.
233
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,670
flexible.
But hey, you don't have to be a member
234
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:37,680
But hey, you don't have to be a member
235
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,070
But hey, you don't have to be a member
of Trump's family to make money on his
236
00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:40,080
of Trump's family to make money on his
237
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,870
of Trump's family to make money on his
decisions. Any Bartlett can do it.
238
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:42,880
decisions. Any Bartlett can do it.
239
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:50,870
decisions. Any Bartlett can do it.
>> Will Trump say low IQ this week?
240
00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:50,880
241
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,310
Crack it. Let me tell you before you
242
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:52,320
Crack it. Let me tell you before you
243
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:57,350
Crack it. Let me tell you before you
even ask. She's a very low IQ person.
244
00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:57,360
even ask. She's a very low IQ person.
245
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,590
even ask. She's a very low IQ person.
>> Wow.
246
00:05:59,590 --> 00:05:59,600
>> Wow.
247
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,909
>> Wow.
WOW. THAT WON $100,000
248
00:06:03,909 --> 00:06:03,919
WOW. THAT WON $100,000
249
00:06:03,919 --> 00:06:06,390
WOW. THAT WON $100,000
predicting what the president is going
250
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:06,400
predicting what the president is going
251
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,909
predicting what the president is going
to say next. TRUMP ONLY SAYS LIKE three
252
00:06:09,909 --> 00:06:09,919
to say next. TRUMP ONLY SAYS LIKE three
253
00:06:09,919 --> 00:06:13,510
to say next. TRUMP ONLY SAYS LIKE three
things. He's like a big mouth billy bass
254
00:06:13,510 --> 00:06:13,520
things. He's like a big mouth billy bass
255
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,909
things. He's like a big mouth billy bass
that hates Mexicans.
256
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:15,919
that hates Mexicans.
257
00:06:15,919 --> 00:06:20,950
that hates Mexicans.
It's not rocket science, SUCKERS.
258
00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:20,960
It's not rocket science, SUCKERS.
259
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,749
It's not rocket science, SUCKERS.
NOW, I'VE sworn 10 times in this
260
00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:23,759
NOW, I'VE sworn 10 times in this
261
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:26,950
NOW, I'VE sworn 10 times in this
segment, which means if I say one more
262
00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:26,960
segment, which means if I say one more
263
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,590
segment, which means if I say one more
swear word, everyone who listened to me
264
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:29,600
swear word, everyone who listened to me
265
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,790
swear word, everyone who listened to me
earlier is going to make a killing. But
266
00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:32,800
earlier is going to make a killing. But
267
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,270
earlier is going to make a killing. But
I'll let you in on a LITTLE SECRET. I
268
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:35,280
I'll let you in on a LITTLE SECRET. I
269
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,990
I'll let you in on a LITTLE SECRET. I
BET EVERYTHING ON ME SWEARING LESS THAN
270
00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:38,000
BET EVERYTHING ON ME SWEARING LESS THAN
271
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:46,150
BET EVERYTHING ON ME SWEARING LESS THAN
THAT AND TOOK ALL YOUR MONEY.
272
00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:46,160
273
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:51,560
OH, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME,
23103
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