Original subtitles

All right, Steve Dennis, senior health fair. You guys ready to have a good

Oh, yeah.

If you take a fall.

Yeah.

Then you want to roll.

Onto your back.

Going to get you back.

Every year we invite senior citizens to the hospital for free tests and

screenings, but this year Joyce is letting me amp it up into a full -on

I am so excited to educate our elderly community about their health, and I

know, maybe we'll have some fun along the way.

Pivot your body to sit.

On that surface.

Sit for a couple of minutes.

You should never stand immediately after a ball.

So I said to him, Budgie, people do not like to be screamed at. Use your indoor

voice, Budgie.

Well,

today is old people day.

They will get their health screenings and flu shots, and I will get meandering

stories. And my cheeks pinched without consent, uppers and lowers.

There is this lady who brought me fudge for the last couple of years. I hope

she's still alive.

Knock, knock, phlebotomy fairy.

Just in time, you can finish up with Miss Crowley.

All right, Marjorie, mind if I steal your arm real quick? Promise to give it

right back.

Oh, you're sweet.

Oh, now you got to even it out. I'll turn the other cheek.

You're clever.

She's his problem now. Oh, let me tell you about Budgie.

Oh, I have an uncle named Budgie. You do?

Yeah, he's my dad's brother.

Oh, Bruce, your cardiac patient in 104 woke up. She's asking for you.

Ah, okay. Well, here we go.

I had kind of an interesting morning.

Patient brought in, no pulse, gone six minutes.

But somehow, I brought her back.

Uh, you should probably wait here. It's kind of a personal moment.

Or you could pull back to one of those faraway shots where you're hiding and

it's respectful and you got it.

Just so you know, she's pretty upset. I guess she had to do not respect the take

order.

Uh, do you know where Joyce is? I need to speak to her.

All right, everybody, come on down. Bingo time, okay?

But wait, are those invaluable health facts on those cards instead of numbers?

Uh, yeah, they are.

Hello, my child.

Got anything to confess?

Dude, prep works.

All right, guys. We've got dabbers. We've got cards. We are ready to rock.

No, there's really nothing going on between me and Javelin Steve.

I mean, we hung out once or twice.

It's not a big deal.

It's whatever.

Are Serena and I seeing each other?

You tell me.

She left this at my place.

Not that she needs an excuse to come back.

No, but she's cool.

Super cool.

Okay, remove clutter. cords and loose rugs from walkways. This is a good one,

guys. You don't want to trip.

Annabelle does the tidying.

Okay. We'll just go ahead and dab if you have removed clutter cords and loose

rugs from walkways.

This isn't bingo.

Well, it's a form of bingo. What about the numbers?

Instead of numbers, we're doing a useful health tip.

Then where are the numbers?

There are no numbers.

This isn't bingo.

Hello, hello.

Hey, there she is. How are you feeling? Joyce Henderson. I'm the administrator

here at St. Dennis Medical. I'm also a licensed physician, but more

a fellow human being who is deeply sorry that you did not get the care that you

deserved. You had a do not resuscitate order in place, and we did resuscitate.

am so sorry.

Honestly, I wish I wasn't such a gifted surgeon.

I tell you, if it had been one of my colleagues that had tried to revive you,

this would be a very different conversation.

Well, it wouldn't be a conversation at all.

Is there a way we can make this right?

Well, I wanted to die, so... Sure, sure.

Anything cafeteria -wise.

It's on us, obviously.

Look, I don't care about any of this. Can you just leave me alone?

Okay, I'm just going to get a bunch of stuff, and if you eat it, you eat it.

Okay? You have to meet my granddaughter.

She says she likes girls, but she doesn't know.

These old people are, like, freakishly obsessed with Matt. Better him than me.

Hey, it's my favorite fudge lady.

She's still kicking.

Boy, I've been looking forward to her all day.

Wait, that's my fudge.

Okay, they're vibing.

Fudge is a once -a -year treat.

And this is supposed to be that day.

That is my fudge.

Okay, what's it gonna be?

Oh, another blank one. Ha! Whoops.

Technical difficulties.

Okay,

here we go. Use bright LED bulbs. Guys, here's why this one's important.

Bingo!

Wait, all of you at the same time? How is that possible?

Okay, I think what might have happened is that I printed out the same card 50

times instead of printing out 50 different cards.

Actually, I know that's what happened.

Oh, Kai.

They might write. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Why don't we just split the prize?

Let's go back to the center and we'll play some real bingo.

Hey, hey, hey, guys! Don't leave yet! Why not?

I don't know.

I...

captains. You are one of my captains. What are you, in a rush to get to the

cemetery? Come on.

Oh, and Marion, I've been waiting all day to see you jump around.

Don't make me beg.

Chocolate.

This way.

I'm with you 100%. Wasn't real bingo. That's terrible.

Your breakfast lasagna is going to be here any minute.

You're going to be glad you stuck around. Yeah, trust me, it sounds gross,

know, but it's a real crowd -blazer. Can you guys just leave so I can watch TV?

Can I say one last thing, please?

Okay. I've looked at your chart.

No chronic pain, no lifestyle restrictions. You could still have some

years. Can't you just try to frame this extra time as an opportunity?

For what?

Well, I mean, there are all kinds of new and exciting things out there.

Like? You know what?

Check this out. I was just reading about this. An underwater hotel in the

Maldives. Psychedelic blues and green and wow, okay, it's $8 ,000 a night, but

you slap that on a credit card and what do you care?

Oh, well, that does look fun. It does, doesn't it? There you go. Who would I go

with? My kids?

Yeah. That sounds great. I don't have kids.

Oh, maybe my husband.

Yes. It's a trap.

It is. Gotcha. Look, that's okay. I don't have kids or a partner either. In

fact, I just broke off my engagement, and I'm doing just fine.

At your age?

Listen,

I have no one. I worked like crazy for years, and then I looked up, and my life

was empty.

But it was too late to do anything about it. Do you have any idea what that's

like? Huh? No?

No? Yikes. You okay?

I mean, that must have been hard for you.

Workaholic, no husband, no kids. I mean, she was basically describing your life.

I'm sorry.

Didn't that sound a little bit like your life, too?

No.

All right.

Little Rascals are up seven to three.

Let's put some muscle into it, ladies!

Fun, right? Look at them move.

Yeah, definitely.

New rule.

Every time you hit the balloon, I want to hear the weirdest place you ever

knocked boots.

Oh, Kaplan.

Someone get the balloon over to Marion pronto.

Arizona. Oh, the movie theater.

We should probably get things back on track soon, but... I'm sorry, are you

Your nostrils are doing that thing.

No.

I just feel like we're not educating them.

10050 Cielo Drive.

I mean, I guess I hear you, but I think it's kind of nice that, you know,

everyone's participating.

I mean, that's good, right?

Yeah, for sure.

It's not exactly what I had in mind, but it's good.

Your mom's back.

You got me, Walt. You got me.

Tickers sounding good.

Keeping better time than the Glenn Miller Orchestra. You remember them?

I mostly listen to show tunes. Yeah.

Has anyone ever told you that you're a dead ringer for Sophia Loren?

That slut from the Italian skin flicks?

Yeah. Oh, wow. Is that some of your famous fudge from last year?

Yes, it is.

I love that fudge. Thank you.

It's my special recipe.

Spike at home, Bill?

I mostly had sex in my house.

Hey, good hit, good hit. Good hit, Bill.

Guys, I'm going to add a new rule. Okay, so whenever you get the balloon, I want

you to say your favorite source of fiber. All right? Super fun. And I'll

Whole grain.

Oh, sorry.

I'm so sorry. I think the little rascals want it.

The amount of fiber I have to eat? Oh, it's a terrible burden.

You know what? Why don't we just stop? Keep the party going. We'll move on to

our next activity.

Huh? Who here likes lame PowerPoints?

Me neither. What about funny PowerPoints, though?

The chaplain said we'd have a dance party.

Yeah, I called it a booty bash.

He did.

That's fun.

Guys, I think we might have to save the booty bash for another time, you know.

Listen, I think you'll find that this PowerPoint is very... I like to move it,

move it. I like to move it, move it.

All right, all right. Just see those moves.

Get your farts out before you hit the dance floor.

Donald, I'm looking at you. We'll do this and then we'll do my thing, okay,

guys? Because I actually need a few minutes to set up anyway. It's fine.

Just a minute. Can you?

Let's get it.

1998.

Just hit the scene.

Stella.

Stella Bella. Stella Bella.

Quick question for you. My life's worth living, right?

No, I'm fine.

There are a lot of people out there who are worse off than I am. And frankly,

when my cup runneth low, talking to those people really helps me get some

perspective.

Keith! Sweet, sweet Keith.

You look troubled.

You got me dead to rights. I guess that's why you're in charge.

I am troubled.

Tell me everything.

Well... Me and the family are going camping this weekend, and all the songs

late -night laughing fits.

No way I'm going to get my normal nine -and -a -half -hour sleep.

Yeah, that sounds horrible. It's also tricky trying to cram all his fingers

one tent, but I guess that's the point.

We'll family together.

Hey, Joyce.

Thanks so much. Shut up, Keith. Dakota's in crisis.

Hey, is everything okay? Did something happen?

Yes. I got engaged.

What? No.

No. You?

Come on.

No. Okay. You know what? New rule. No jewelry on the floor. We are not in

Oh, give me a break.

Hey, Mom.

Mama Jama. You know, I've been thinking, and I actually don't have too much in

common with Eleanor. I have an extensive family tree.

Yeah, sure, sometimes you get wrapped up in work, but you just have to make time

to water those roots and keep those branches strong.

So, it's been a minute, I know, but how about your favorite son swoops you up

and takes you to Outback Steakhouse, and yes, you can fill up on bread.

Oh, you're in Tahoe.

That's cool.

With who?

With who?

I thought we agreed we weren't seeing Frank anymore.

Because he's a showboat mom.

Marcus, my guy, what is it?

It's Cousin Bruce.

Your cousin, Vicky's son.

Get it, Shirley.

Show us what that you hip can do.

Hey, Steve. Hey.

Pretty good, right?

Look at Serena go out there.

Yeah, look at her go. She's great.

This is super fun, truly. I just don't know if this is, like, totally

appropriate. You mean the thing I said about Donald partying on the dance

It was a joke. No. He ripped one earlier.

No, not that. I mean, a little bit, that. But, no, the main point of this is

educate them, and I just think we should get back to that. You're totally right.

Yeah.

Hey, guys.

So fun partying with all of you. But we're going to do Alex's thing now,

Woo! The PowerPoint thing.

Yeah. It's going to be great.

Let's all go back to the chairs, okay?

All right.

Okay, so today we will be performing a vascular surgery on Mr. Benz.

So let's step into a place of gratitude, et cetera, and I

don't know, just get the music going.

Makes you think.

May I offer you another pillow?

No. All right, I've got the fluffiest of the bunch for the cutest gal I know.

You are the sweetest. You get another piece of fudge. Ooh, yummers. I'll wash

hands. Yummers, I love that.

I'm impressed that you still cook.

A lot of younger people like Matt don't respect the old ways.

Please, that's a bunch of bull.

Matthew has behaved perfectly as far as I can see, and he's not condescending

like some people.

Well, I just, I was agreeing.

with Matt in saying that your fudge does look yummers. I'm giving the rest to

Matthew. He deserves it. He deserves it?

The man's got some flaws.

He's got some flaws.

So we all have our little quirks. Do we? He left his wife in Montana. That's a

quirk. Kicked her to the curb and hit the road. That is quite a quirk.

Wash my hands.

Hypertension affects 72 % of men between the ages of 65 and 74.

For men 75 and older, that number jumps to... Whoa, look out!

83 .2%. That is why...

Guys,

listen. I know that this is not as much fun as dancing, okay? But it really can

help. Just a few small changes in your routine can make a big difference.

You know, my Nan Doris took a fall when she was 70, and she just never got

better. So any of this can buy you more time, more memories with your grandkids

and your families. You know, it's fine.

Steve, you can, yeah, turn the music back on.

Those glutes.

Let's go.

Those glutes.

That's your butt.

Oh, hey.

I really need a cup of java.

Yeah, same.

Hey, did you hear Dakota got engaged?

Dakota? What? They can't be right. She must have misunderstood.

What the hell is this?

I don't know. I thought they were just playing bingo.

God, they're not very good.

What? I'm not going to lie.

Excuse me, young lady.

Why don't you do me the honor?

Oh, I would love to, but I need to file some things. Please, you remind me of my

late wife.

Well, okay, I guess I can do it for a minute. Tell me about this wife.

Oh, she was wonderful.

Not as wonderful as my current wife.

Oh, wow.

Yo, Brucey!

Get out here and bring up this dance floor, bro hammer!

No, no, no, I can't. Okay, one song is all right. Here we go.

Yeah, okay, let's see here.

Woo! Oh!

Hey,

um, I'm sorry. That was out of line.

I think I went a little fudge crazy.

Ah, it's okay. I can see why you went there. This stuff is good.

Yes, yes, it is.

Oh, um, sorry. Didn't mean to touch you.

It's good you clarified that. It's just, Agnes made me promise not to give you

any, and I feel weird going back on a request.

No, I get it.

I respect the integrity.

Thanks, man.

It means a lot to me.

There's no competing with the allure of youth.

But with age comes wisdom, and you learn a few things over time.

Like how to override the code on the lockers that hasn't been changed in 15

years.

She did it again.

We gotta keep this woman ticking.

To the left.

Now pop it.

Okay, Steve.

Go, Steve.

Hey. Hey.

Do you still, like, encourage him?

Good. I just turned out for a thing. This is not my thing.

Okay, nobody is learning anything. That guy's been doing the Macarena for, like,

30 minutes.

So, Jacqueline's thief has hijacked this whole thing, okay? He's a hijacker.

Girl, come on. He's been hijacking. He just gave it a boost.

Can you just support me even when I'm wrong?

And why have you been defending him all day? Honestly, I... Everything that

he... Sir, are you okay?

Yeah, I think so. Okay, don't rush to get up, all right? What you want to do

you want to roll... And you want to roll onto your back. I know the song.

Yes! Oh my gosh, that's right. It was so annoying I couldn't get out of my head.

Also, you were off key and it didn't rhyme. Okay, well, that's not... You're

okay? Yeah.

What a treat.

Dancing in the middle of the day. I've got to say, Bruce, you've got some

Well, you, you look like you did not care when anyone thought. I envy that

of confidence.

Crazy idea.

What if we brought Eleanor down there?

Oh, yeah, she might get something out of it. I thought so, too. You know, dance

is a central component of many indigenous ceremonies.

Absolutely, absolutely.

Cardiogenic shock.

Dr. Andrews is going to call it.

Shouldn't be long.

Oh. Huh.

Well, that's good, right?

Yeah. No, yeah, that's what she wanted.

Okay. You know, I'm just going to wait here until she goes.

Of course.

You know what? I'm going to just...

Stick with you.

Good to have company, huh?

Yeah.

Just so you know, nothing is ever going to happen with us.

A lot of Ricola rappers here.

Yeah, that was Bill.

He didn't even eat anything. He just dumped them out of his pocket.

Dude, we crushed it.

Oh, I don't know about that.

You crushed it. Are you kidding? We're a team.

You brought him to the theater, I gave him a show, and now you're cleaning up

all the popcorn and crap.

Great work, Missouri kid.

Thanks.

See you later?

See you both later.

You know, maybe chaplaincy is not that bad.

Yeah. See?

He's great. Okay. I don't know about great. No, he's fine. He's good.

He's like, yeah, whatever you said.

Oh, my God.

Serena.

Did you? What?

Did you hook up with Chelsea?

Shut up. You did.

Shut up.

Only twice.

Oh, my God. And a half. And another three quarters this morning. It's true.

cash. Is it? Is it shell? Is it cash?

It's so not a big deal.

And if you tell anyone, so help me God, I will.

in your life. This makes so much more sense because all day you've been like,

eh, Jasmine Steve is so great. Look how good he's doing. I can't wait to do it

with him later.

Okay. Get it out of your system now because we're never talking about this

again. So wait, is he like weird in bed? Obviously.

Will you come over for dinner and tell me everything? Yeah.