Original subtitles

After that little scare with Hannah, I just get this knot in my chest every now

and then.

I have decided to step away from teaching because I already found the

possible replacement. Me?

You must have some kind of protege who's ready to take the reins.

What happened?

I'm thinking about retiring.

I have another panic attack.

It's medical school.

I'm in the candle at both ends. I started to volunteer the suicide

Being the guy on the other end of the line, I don't know, it kind of helps.

Greater Chicago Lifeline, this is Dan.

What's going on tonight?

Hello?

Are you there? Did I lose you?

I'm here.

Oh, there you are.

Tell me what's happening.

Thank you for your honesty.

I also appreciate you saying that out loud because that's not easy to do.

It's all I can think about.

My brain just keeps, I don't know, running in circles.

It always comes back to that. I can't eat. I can't sleep.

Not sleeping absolutely sucks.

You might have asked your name, or at least...

You know what you'd like me to call you?

It's Gio.

Gio.

Okay, Gio, thank you.

It was an accident.

It was my fault.

What was your fault?

I killed my girlfriend.

Okay.

Think it might help to tell me what happened?

Well, you know, you said that it was your fault and that it was an accident,

which is interesting because, you know, I mean, accidents are, well, I mean,

they're accidents, right? I mean, they're not on purpose.

We went to a holiday party.

By the end of the night, she was pretty hammered, but I only had a few beers, so

I drove us home.

She started feeling sick, so I was driving pretty fast.

I don't want her to puke in the car, you know what I mean? Oh, I sure do. That's

the worst.

Yeah.

We were coming up on a big intersection when the light turned yellow, so I

gunned it.

Then out of nowhere, a woman stepped into the crosswalk early.

I slammed on my brakes. I tried to see around her, but the car... spun out of

control and slammed into a traffic pole on the passenger side.

When I looked over at her, her eyes were open, but she was gone.

Man, I'm just so sorry, Gio. That sounds awful.

I mean, awful.

It's like a tape loop in my brain.

much it never ever stops i need to make it stop okay you know there's a big

difference though right between being involved in an accident and

causing someone's death right and i want you to trust me on this like grief and

guilt are really really good at blurring the difference it was my job to get her

up safe you want to know what the cruelest thing is about accidents that

really quickly it's that after the fact we we slow them way down and then we

start to play them over and over again in our head which creates the illusion

that we might have done something differently right that we could have

created a different outcome when the truth is that that was just never ever

going to happen

Is it going to bring her back?

No, it's not.

And I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to accept that.

Can I ask you, do you have anything with you that you might use to hurt yourself

tonight?

A gun.

Got it.

And where is the gun right now?

It's in my hand.

Okay.

Look, I'm going to ask you to do something for me, all right? And I just

you to put it somewhere, just for now, put it somewhere where you can't see it.

You still there, buddy?

Sometimes it can actually help to talk about people that we've lost, right?

You think that might help to talk about her a bit? I mean, there is no wrong

answer to this question.

I'm just asking.

Her name was Darby.

She's gone.

Forever.

You know what? This is a mistake.

What is?

Gio, look.

It's so important that you feel this stuff.

It is.

We understand.

It's torture.

Buddy, listen. I can't do it anymore. No.

No.

I'm sorry.

Gio, listen.

Loss like this brings a kind of pain that can't be solved or explained away.

just got to talk about it. You just got to feel it, right? But just because

you're feeling it doesn't mean you have to act on it. Feeling guilty doesn't

mean you don't deserve... Gio.

It always comes back to that. I can't eat. I can't sleep.

Hi.

Hi, honey.

How are you doing? Good.

Is everything okay, Dad?

Yeah, great.

You're early.

Yeah, the traffic from Evanston was super light.

Okay, I want you to be honest with me.

What do you miss more, me or my state -of -the -art laundry facility?

It's the dead heat. Oh, man, you are so adorable when you lie.

I lie because I love, Dad.

You know what? I'm going to make some eggs.

Sugar will only get you so far.

Oh, but they're magically delicious.

Oh, whoops. Oh, sorry about that. Oh, no, don't touch anything.

Boxers.

Uh, those are mine.

You wearing men's boxers now?

Uh, it's a thing now.

Okay.

What? Honey, nothing.

It's none of my business, okay?

Come on, Dad, I'm asking you to tell me what you were going to say.

I'm just wondering if having a boyfriend is just the best idea right now, that's

all. I cannot believe you just said that to me. Honey, you told me that that's

what Dr. Drake told you. Okay, note to self, don't tell Dad a goddamn thing

about anything ever again.

Woody, I'm sorry.

Really, I'm sorry.

Dad, I don't have a boyfriend.

Aren't you worried that a new relationship, I mean, even a sexual

relationship... Okay, Dad, good point.

Fine.

I like to get laid.

Oh, man. I need to get laid. No, no, honey, sweetie. It's like the best

antidepressant that I have found so far. Honey, come on. Dad, this doesn't have

anything to do with me.

This is about you.

Whenever you start fixating on my life, it means something's going on with you.

It's called projecting.

Yeah, I'm familiar with the concept. How about deflection?

You ever heard of that one?

Okay, how about this?

You go to work, I'll wash my clothes, and we'll pretend this conversation

took place. Okay?

So could your supervisor trace the caller's phone number?

Only emergency services are allowed to do that. And get this.

Once we make that move right, once we escalate it, that's it.

No follow -up allowed whatsoever.

The legal thing, right? We are not allowed to find out what happened one

the other. Damn, that's brutal.

Tell me about it.

Yeah, but look, you did everything you can. And you don't know what happened.

And maybe that's a good thing. You also know what you signed up for, right?

Of course I do.

Come on, Daniel.

You can't save everybody.

Why not?

Oh, hey.

Do you have a moment?

I do.

Talk later? Maybe a little cocktail after work? Yes, please.

All right.

I have a patient that just came in. Travis Abbott. Says he fell and hit his

head.

But he's been knocked around pretty bad.

There was blood and perineal lacerations near his rectum, and his tox screen

came back positive for GHB.

Oh, okay.

You're thinking sexual assault. Yeah, but he won't go there.

Lead the way.

I don't know what the big deal is. I had too much to drink. I tripped and

smashed my head in the bathroom.

I just came here to make sure I didn't have a concussion, and Dr. Ripley said I

don't, so can I please go home now?

Here's the thing.

We do need to inform you that we are legally obligated to reach out to law

enforcement and provide you access to counseling when we're confronted with

evidence. Wait.

I'm fine.

Okay.

You know, my dad, he wasn't around long, but he did teach me to handle pain with

silence. Because that's what real men do, right?

Someone kicks your ass, you suck it up.

So when it makes you cry, you suck it up.

But that crap eats you up inside.

Trust me, it's not worth it.

You gotta learn to ask for help.

Well, that was super moving.

But none of it applies to me.

Got it.

I really just have one more question. Screw you.

Go fuss over somebody else.

Who do y 'all think you are, my model?

You creeping on your daughter's Facebook page, Dr. Charles?

I'm not creeping on anything. It's my daughter.

And it's a public platform I last checked.

How about you mind your own business?

Sorry.

But just for the record, she moved to Instagram a few years back.

What do you mean? How do you know that?

Well, because I follow her, and you don't.

Well, if you must know, I think she might have a new boyfriend, and I'm just

worried he's a little sketchy.

Anna has a new boyfriend?

What, she's got a new new boyfriend?

How many boyfriends does she have?

Dr. Charles?

You available for a consult?

Yeah. Okay.

32 -year -old Sage Ellison.

She claims she's in searing abdominal pain and is demanding I perform

exploratory surgery, and she put him in a real show.

Ew. I ran every test under the sun, and I didn't find anything.

So what you're saying is you think we might have a big -time hypochondriac in

there. Definitely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So can you give me just a rough idea of when you first became aware of the pain?

About two years ago.

Okay. And always pretty much been concentrated in your digestive system?

Yeah. It always starts off as minor, but inevitably it always gets a lot worse.

I keep losing weight because eating is torture. I mean, it sucks.

Sounds like it.

Anything? I don't know.

stressful going on in your life at the time?

There it is.

What?

Copticism.

You're a psychiatrist, so you think I'm either drug -seeking or it's all in my

head. The only thing I was thinking is that you didn't answer my question.

Are you okay? Sage?

Do you really care?

Actually, I do.

No.

Nothing emotionally stressful happened in my life that triggered me.

But I get it.

I'm a woman.

I'm used to men discounting my physical pain.

All right.

I hear that.

But what I was about to say was people tend to start making moral judgments,

know, when we can't identify traditional sources of pain. And as far as I'm

concerned, you know, pain is pain.

Do you know how many stories I've heard of doctors discounting a woman's pain

only to later discover that she had cancer?

And by then it was terminal because too much time had been wasted.

Are you worried that this could be cancer?

That's my point.

I don't know.

But my stomach feels like it's being ripped apart by a chainsaw and nobody

to care.

So please.

Find someone who does. Or even better, just send someone down here to prep me

for my surgery.

No problem.

Naomi just schooled me on Wordle.

Again.

What's the word?

Lunar.

I completely blanked on the sixth and final guess, and she gets it in two.

You okay?

I'm a little sad.

Don't even with me right now.

Two guesses, Dr. Howard.

I'm a lifelong astronomy buff, so the word came easy.

One thing this small -town girl doesn't love about the big city is...

You can't see the stars.

I miss them.

Wow, that is sad.

It sure is.

I gotta go.

Oh, also... I rule.

That's a good one.

What's going on there?

Absolutely nothing.

Really?

I'm sure we've had our moments, okay, but we're...

Strictly friends.

Got it.

She has a boyfriend.

Really?

Look, there's been a lot of bad timing between us, but I have a feeling that

this new boyfriend is a short timer. Next time, I won't miss my chance.

Next time, huh?

You're judging me, aren't you?

Next time's not guaranteed, you know?

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

Yeah.

Hey, Daniel, I'm sorry for summoning you, but I just got a weird call from

provost of Porter University School of Medicine asking for a reference. Oh, my

God. Okay, look, this is Howie, all right, who has decided to retire.

Now, that's a terrible idea, in my opinion, but in his mind, I'm the only

in the entire universe who could replace him as a dean of psychiatry. I got it.

As long as it's all in his head and not in yours. Trust me, it ain't going

nowhere. And just for the record, I am flattered by your concern.

Oh, and I ran into Dr. Lennox. She said you're consulting on a patient who's

demanding a surgery she may not need.

Yeah, say Jellison.

Poor thing.

She's a tough one, but really suffering, just not necessarily in the way she

might have us believe.

Okay. Oh, and Daniel.

I'm glad you're sticking around.

Me too.

Travis.

Travis, wait.

No.

I'm out.

Travis just checked himself out against medical advice.

Sorry I couldn't help you move that needle, pal.

Yeah, me too.

But I couldn't help noticing that you almost did.

So, look, none of my business, but I couldn't help wondering, are

you in therapy?

Good catch.

But it was always such a hard no for you. I mean, what got you there? Just

curious.

I don't know, maybe Hannah and Sadie dumping me for the same reason.

Oh, man.

Those personal hygiene issues, they finally caught up with you.

That and my savior complex.

Oh, come on. Isn't that basically just, I don't know, being a doctor?

My three exes all said to me in so many words, just do what you're going to do,

Danny, because that's what you're best at.

Ouch. Yeah. I don't know, man. You just come a long way.

And I hope you don't mind me telling you that, uh...

I'm really proud of you.

Thank you.

Dr.

Charles, can I talk to you in private?

Jake Driscoll, theater major. He's a prick.

He's not ugly.

Turned 22 on December 19th. Any way to tell how long they've been dating?

Oh, I have no clue. Dr. Charles, there's no hint of Anna here, no photos.

As a matter of fact, he still has his dating profile set to single.

She was horrified when I called him her boyfriend.

Oh.

Well, maybe they're not exclusive.

Maybe this is, like, more of a casual thing.

He does give me Wild Child Sagittarius vibes, and Miguel is also Sagittarius.

That's great. Show me the blog.

Oh,

he's been in and out of rehab three times.

Well, he hasn't posted in like a month and a half. I hope he's okay.

What do you mean?

Do you think he relapsed?

Lara, I am very well aware of how busy you are, and so I just wanted to thank

you again for taking the time to come in and talk to me about your sister. I

really appreciate it. Just understand, I don't want to see Sage, and she can't

know I was here.

You have my word.

So it sounds to me like...

Maybe you guys aren't really in touch right now?

Not for the last five years.

You mind if I ask why?

Let me guess why I'm here.

Sage is in unbearable pain, and she wants emergency surgery to fix it.

But you can't seem to find anything wrong.

Okay, so this has happened before.

Sage is my kid sister.

We grew up in the foster system.

Musical families.

Some nice, some not so nice.

But when they weren't nice, I was always there to protect her.

But when I aged out of the foster system, one kid cracked her skull with a

and she had emergency surgery.

The doctors and nurses knew her situation, so they showered her with

to make up for it.

She's been chasing that high ever since.

Did it ever occur to you the possibility that Sage's pain might be real to her?

You're giving her too much credit. The mind can be extraordinarily adept at

creating physical pain, Allura. It can.

She's not in any pain.

She's just a liar.

Well, the attention -seeking behavior you're describing is at the core of a

serious condition called factitious disorder, or...

As it's more commonly known, you know, Munchausen syndrome.

I don't care what it's called.

I just know I can't deal with it anymore.

I blamed myself for a long time.

Maybe if I'd taken her with me when I turned 18, she'd be normal.

Sage kept me on the hook with that guilt.

Well, she kind of weaponized it, didn't she?

You're damn right.

I believed her lies.

Enabled her.

Defended her to doctors who knew better.

until I realized I had to cut her out of my life if I was ever going to actually

have one.

It was my fault.

I killed my girlfriend.

Hi, I'm Dr. Charles. Dr. Frost asked me to stop by. Lee Holloway.

But I'm not the patient.

Oh?

He is.

Well, hello there.

What is your name?

You know cats don't talk, Dr. Charles.

Excellent point.

What is this kitty's name?

Slater.

But I'd call him Adelaide for your own safety.

Adelaide it is.

Lee brought him in with chronic vomiting. He's been eating cat food.

Uh -huh.

And how long has Adelaide been doing that for?

Three days.

Since our cat died.

Oh. Well, I'm so sorry. Thank you.

Adelaide was my partner in crime for 18 years.

I adopted her my freshman year at DePaul.

Pre -husband, pre -motherhood.

She got me through many breakups.

But it's a pretty extreme way of trying to make me feel better, isn't it? Lee,

would you mind if I just had a moment alone with Adelaide? Would that be all

right? Of course.

Just follow me this way.

Thank you.

Adelaide, why don't you just jump up on the bed? There's a lot of leaves on the

floor.

Wow. So look, I am going to ask you a few questions,

okay? And how about if the answer is yes, you meow.

And if the answer is no, you just don't say anything. Sound good?

Okay.

Maybe the reason that you turned into a cat was because your mom was so sad and

you wanted to make her feel better?

Okay. Well, look, I think it's so wonderful how hard you're working to

mom feel better. But I want to let you in on a little secret.

Moms actually love their kids more than anything.

Anything in the whole wide world, even their favorite pet.

So... What I think is that who Mom actually misses the most is Slater.

It was my fault.

What was your fault?

Mommy had Hershey chocolates on the top shelf of the pantry.

I'm not supposed to know because she doesn't want me eating too much sugar.

So I snuck in the pantry after she went to bed one night and ate a few.

But I forgot to put the chocolates back on the shelf.

I left them on the floor.

Oh, I see. And Adelaide found them.

Mommy found them dead in the morning.

She'll never forgive me.

Yes, she will. I promise you that.

But... First, we have to tell her what happened. I know that that sounds scary,

but I'm going to help you, okay?

And after we do, trust me, everybody's going to feel so much better,

especially you.

What kind of doctor are you?

Why do you ask?

I thought I was going to have to be a cat forever.

Oh, well, I'm really glad that I could help.

Should we talk to Mom?

Any luck?

Any leads on Gio's phone?

Don't worry, Dad.

I kept your name off him.

Since his life was at an imminent risk, I was able to use accident circumstances

to trap the phone.

Fantastic!

And?

And it was purchased at a 7 -Eleven. Pay as you go.

No database can ever hit the number, so I got up quick on a trap -and -trace

ping order, but it was turned off right after your hotline.

Oh.

Phone to your ping. Got an area downtown, but it's so dense with high

and the ping has a 1 ,000 -meter range of error.

So it's like kind of a needle -in -a -haystack thing. I did my best. I tried

track every Gio, every Giovanni. Nothing.

So, what are you thinking? Kind of a dead end?

I wish I had more for you.

Look, buddy, I knew this was a long shot.

I just really appreciate you looking into it for me. Really, I do.

Okay? At least I can do that.

So you're calling me a liar? No.

You just told me my pain isn't real.

It's not what I said at all. What I said was just because there could be a

psychological element at play here doesn't mean that this is any less real

you. Okay, yeah, great mother Teresa, but... But our nervous systems can learn

to express emotional pain in the form of physical symptoms.

There it is again.

What did I tell you? It's all in my head. That's not what I'm saying. What

saying is that your body and your mind could be colluding in ways you're not

even aware of because it's not voluntary.

Stop hiding behind all your fancy double talk and send me someone who will

actually listen. Sage, trust me, I'm listening. You're so full of it.

I mean...

Do you actually know how full of it you are? I understand the power of

attention. Trust me.

Medical attention included for people who feel lonely and abandoned.

Oh, I'm lonely and abandoned, am I?

Well, you're a human being.

Okay. Well, if I need medical attention, I feel whole.

Do you know what that makes you?

I don't know. What does that make me?

The freak who needs sick people like me to feel whole.

Because fixing us is how you feel important.

You should see your face.

I nailed it, didn't I?

You need me.

I'm the damn drug you're strung out on.

You need us so that you can feel useful.

So you can BS yourself into believing you're actually helping.

Come on, Dr. Charles.

Hit me with some more of your fancy crap so you can feel better about yourself

and feed your delusion.

Because the truth is, you're a useless fraud.

And you want to know what's really sad?

I'm going to have to bring her back.

Oh, sorry.

I'm sorry.

Headed out?

Yeah, my boyfriend and I are grabbing deep dish at Pequod.

Oh, well, you're not going to regret that. Yeah, I can't wait.

Incoming.

Doris, I noticed your friend requested my new boyfriend today.

Oh.

Yeah, I don't know. She was snooping on my behalf.

I put her up to it.

Yeah, I put that part together all by myself.

You said he wasn't your boyfriend.

I think we should talk. Yeah, let's talk.

You are many things, but Internet sleuth is not one of them. Honey, maybe I

overstepped a little bit. Oh, maybe?

Honestly, I was freaked out by our conversation this morning. Of course,

entitled to a private life. Oh, thanks so much for getting that, Dad. But I

mean, just so you know, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous actively

relationships in the first year of sobriety, okay? Because it's just a very

risky proposition.

Wow.

This from the man who spent years preaching non -judgment of recovering

I'm not judging anybody. I'm trying to protect you. You know, bad idea for you,

terrible idea for him. Dr. Drake would have said the same thing about Johnny.

Jake. Jake? Because after all, didn't the poor fellow just relapse? Dad, he

a couple of drinks. That's called a relapse. He's fine. He's going to

again. Great. Does he know about your situations? Does he know about your

history? About, you know... My suicide attempt? Yes, Dad, he does.

Good. Honey, I'm...

You've got to... Oh, let me guess.

Dealing with such complex emotions and attachment could lead to a relapse of

depression or worse, suicidal ideation?

Is that what you were going to say? I almost lost you.

Okay?

Sharon called me and told me you'd been in an accident and that you were in

critical condition.

So Robin and I, we got in the car and we drove here.

And it was the longest 15 minutes of my life because I was terrified that I

would get here and find you dead. So you just be careful around this topic and

you cut me some slack.

Please.

Stop, stop.

Hi,

Dr. Charles.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

I'm clearly not as good as you two, but thank you for asking.

Dr. Charles?

What are you doing?

Looking for the Big Dipper?

No, it's a surprise for Naomi.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, but her shift ends any minute, and she's gonna walk in here, so... Buddy,

I think I might have just seen her leave in the hospital.

Wait, really?

Yeah. Do you have any idea where she went?

Mm -mm.

Damn it.

Okay.

If you must know, I was taking your advice.

I know it's kind of corny, but I was trying to, I don't know, make her day.

Well, if it's any consolation, I'm thinking about I just made mine.

Thanks.

Excuse me. Go ahead.

Hi, Sharon.

Where are you, Daniel?

I am right behind the doctor's lounge.

Listen, I need you to come up to my office right away.

Something wrong?

We have a situation, so don't talk to anyone. Just come straight up here.

I'm on my way.

Torture. I can't do it anymore.

Daniel?

Daniel?

What? Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. What's going on? Sorry, what were you saying?

Sage Ellison just filed an official complaint against you.

On what ground? Well, she claims you verbally abused her a few hours ago.

That is a steaming load of crap.

Well, she also claims you accused her of faking her abdominal pain for

attention. I promise you, the only person who got abused in that room was

You do know I have to go through the motions of processing this complaint.

Why?

Sharon, nothing happened.

Do you not believe me when I tell you that? Yes, of course. Of course I

you, but this is about optics.

Come on, you dismiss that kind of stuff all the time. Daniel, it's a little

different when the accused is your best friend. Now, wouldn't you say? Come on,

this is unbelievable.

This is unbelievable. Okay, what is wrong with you? What are you not telling

What's that supposed to mean? Not telling you what?

You don't believe me.

You don't believe me. No, no. You don't believe me. Daniel, wait a minute. Just

slow down.

I'm worried about you. This is not like my friend. Yeah, well, right back at

you. Maybe your friend doesn't like being called a liar. Okay, you know

Maybe you need some more personal time. How about that? No, what I need is maybe

take Howie's offer more seriously.

That's what I need. Okay, so you were considering it? You were just lying to

this morning? I have never lied to you.

Never.

And I was not considering it, not for a second.

But I sure as hell am now.

Hey, y 'all, right here.

Can y 'all stand by one second? Yeah, thank you.

OR3's ready for her.

What happened?

Sage just swallowed some drain cleaner.

What? Cleaners were here earlier. She must have stolen it off the cart. She

screaming at the top of her lungs when I came in. On exam, she had significant

erythema and ulceration in her mouth. Who knows what her esophagus looks like?

What was she screaming about?

Crazy stuff. Something about her dad, I think. Am I sick enough for you now,

Pop?

Does that mean something to you?

It's, um... It's gonna make it.

If she didn't just put a huge hole into her esophagus or stomach and she doesn't

start to hemorrhage in the next ten minutes, maybe. Let's get her upstairs

surgery.

Well, I don't know.

There's no way I could set a price on something I've never done before.

Danny?

Is that you?

Oh, hi, Mom.

What are you doing here?

You tell me.

I'm going to film it.

I'm dreaming.

You sure it's not a nightmare?