All language subtitles for Hooperman S02E06 Nightmare in Apartment One

- [Loretta] How'd you know it was
Stark,

you never him before.

- I seen his picture, he's famous.

Everybody knows who he is, don't
they?

- [Harry] It was dark,
you were 30 feet away.

- I told ya, I had to
meet with one of his guys,

the real executive type.

All of a sudden, the limo door opens
UP

and Stark yells out for
the guy to hurry up.

It was him!

The interior light was
on, I saw him real clear.

- You're lying, this is all
just an attempt to get out

of sewing your prison
sentence for arson, for murder!

- Hey, what's she trying to do,

she's supposed to be on my side.

- She's the assistant district attorney,

she's just trying to prepare
you for what the defense

is gonna do to you when
you take the stand.

- I don't wanna do this
no more till I eat.

- How much longer?

You've tied up this room for four
hours,

this is not a satellite
office for you Miss Todd.

- You want this room?

Call my boss like you always do.

Just once I'd like to do my job without

you running your authority trip.

- Your day will come Loretta.

- I'm looking forward to it, Celeste.

- [Officer] Dali's here.

- They're gonna show
pictures of those two people

who fried in that building
you torched for Stark.

You better prepare yourself.

How you react is important.

- Yeah well that guy told
me the building was empty.

I'm a professional torch, I'm fast,

I'm reliable, but I don't murder!

- We believe you, you have to make

the grand jury believe you.

- I got roast beef, Bobo.

- Ham and cheese on croissant.

- [Clarence] Where's the mayonnaise,
huh?

- [Bobo] Here.

(screams)

- It's a rat, it's a dead rat!

It's a message from Stark, he
can get me any time he wants.

- Quarter pounder.

(upbeat music with saxophone)

- Yeah, okay, thanks.

The deli's a big zero, they're claiming

when it left it was corn beef.

- Stark got to somebody, okay.

That means we're just gonna have

to play musical hideouts
until our court date.

- We'll put Lovelace in a hotel

until we can find a safe house.

- Our star witness seems
reluctant to change location,

what do you say we take
him down to the boiler room

and convince him travel broadens a
man.

(chuckles)

- Let's just throw his butt
in the back of a squad car,

in an non-brutal way, of course.

- You lousy cops, I should've
known you couldn't protect me.

He can get me any time.

- It could have been a mistake,

this is a rough neighborhood,

most people around here
would eat that sandwich.

- Yeah, well I'm through.

I ain't testifying.

- Come on, you can't change your
mind now.

- I assure you, your
safety is our top priority.

If I have to, I'll get down a shotgun

and stand guard myself.

- You can put a hundred guys in with
me,

I guarantee you one of
them's got a contract,

that mean the other 99
are paid to look away.

I mean, this is Stark.

He's powerful, he's got
more money than God.

He'll buy his way in.

- Get him out of here,
we'll take care of you,

nothing's gonna happen, alright,
everything's gonna be fine.

- Dammit, what happened to all that

crack security you've been bragging
about?

I am not going to lose this case
because

you people are incompetent.

(metal crashing)

- Do you want to step outside?

Or we can square off right
here, doesn't matter to me.

- Ladies, let's examine
some of the positive aspects

of the situation, shall we ladies?

Our man is on shaky ground at the
moment,

but he'll come around if we can show
him

how good his life's gonna be
once Stark goes up the river.

- How much more money is this
gonna cost?

- Well, I'm gonna want to
show him a real good time,

so I'd say about five thousand.

- We don't do that.

- If Lovelace doesn't talk, Stark walks.

- Let me make a call.

- Damn, I really wanted to punch

out that self important cow.

(laughing)

- We're right behind you captain,
alright.

- I just want to talk to somebody

in charge, what's the big deal?

- [Mo] Only police personnel
are allowed in the squad room.

- How'd you get in here anyway?

- Window, ladies bathroom,
I climbed the drain pipe.

- [Officer] Coming through.

- I just need a couple of
seconds of somebody's time.

Are you in charge?

- In my mind I am.

- Wait a minute.

- Hey he)' hey-
- Hey.

- As long as we're sharing an arm,

let me get that for you.

- Look, I'm sorry about all of
this but nobody would listen.

Somebody's gotta hear me out.

- Well you've got a captive audience.

Bushkin, where are those bolt
cutters?

- [Bushkin] They're on their way.

- I mean, take a look at me,

and you can tell right
away I don't belong here,

you know where I should be?

- On Broadway singing the
big number from Les Mis.

- Nah, I should be in a joint.

I'm a professional inmate.

- Well maybe you should
consider a second career.

- Look, I'm not kidding, sorry.

Listen I served my time, I did 16
years,

it's about as like half of my life.

I served my time and then they kicked
me,

that's the thanks I get.

Only they didn't tell me
what it was like out here.

It's looney-ville, I
don't know what to do.

- You got your money, Hooperman.

But you don't have a lot of time.

Don't screw up my case.

- Your case?

Hey lady, this is my case.

I've been doggin' Stark
for over two years.

Hey, don't walk away from me.

I kept telling you he was dirty,

this man is burning
down his own buildings,

sometimes with people in them

and then redeveloping the lots.

And all I ever got from your office was,

oh no no no, he's a respected
man in the community,

he donates hospital wings.

You guys didn't even
want to touch this case

until I delivered it to
you on a silver platter.

- Get our boy back on the team,

I'll expect a call from him.

(QFOans)

- Can you believe that woman?

- I can't believe anybody out here.

- Yo, over here!

Looks like you and I aren't
going steady anymore, Hoben.

I am glad to see you, here you go.

Let's unlock me over at my desk,
okay.

- So what, I go to finger
printing now or what?

- We're not gonna hold you, you can
go

just don't try anything like this again.

- I can't go back on the street,

I'm not gonna make it.

Come on, send me back to San
Quentin,

I'm a menace to society.

- You're not a menace, what
you are is a pain in the butt.

Look, a lot of ex cons go
through this when they get out,

especially if they've done
as much time as you have.

But it'll get better,
you'll get used to it.

- I've got no place to go.

- Okay look, I want you to get a room,

a new shirt and a shave.

- 10 bucks?

- Okay skip the room and the shirt.

I'm not supposed to do this,

but just quick, stash this, okay.

- Thanks.

- Hooperman.

- Okay, thanks.

- Champagne?

- Yeah, why not?

- Imported or domestic?

- I'll have the foreign stuff.

- Here we go.

- What's that?

- Caviar, beluga, Russian
and it is the best.

Come on, you only go
around once, there you go.

- This is good.

- You see?

It's cool, I'll get it.

Who is it?

- [Denise] Denise.

- It's Denise.

Hi Denise!
- Hi.

- How are ya?
- Good.

Well, good afternoon darling.

- No that's not darling, this is darling.

Hank, these are Denise, this is
Denise.

She's here to give you a
complimentary makeover.

You know, haircut, manicure, like that.

Hank, Hank?

Uh, Denise, that's Hank.

- Hello Hank.

Gee, it's a real pleasure.

- Get the door, McNeil.

Kids, excuse me kids, come
on now, I think you guys

might wanna step in here.

McNeil, get the door.

Come on, I'm sure you don't
want to have a haircut

with a bunch of cops
staring at you, right?

Just right in here, make
yourself at home, okay.

Snip snip, McNeil, this
way, thank you, Bobo.

- So where did you find Denise?

- In the back of a vice wagon.

She's a beauty school graduate.

That was before she started
dating Fisherman's Wharf.

It's a community service in
lieu of a 10 day sentence.

Compelling, isn't she?

- [TV Host] And as winner
of the flash round--

- McNeil will you cut that out,
I hate it when you do that,

just leave it on one station.

- There's nothing worth
watching more than 10 seconds.

- It's not like when we were
kids, remember Maverick?

The Untouchables?

- Yeah, 77 Sunset Strip.

(snapping)

- Dragnet.

- Sheena Queen of the Jungle, Jungle
Jim,

Ramar of the Jungle.

- We weren't allowed to watch those
shows.

- Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute,

leave it there, look at this.

- Oh hey, that's Stark, he
must have donated something.

- Yes, it is Bobby and I do know--

- [Harry] A children's
museum, isn't that sweet?

- I think it's high time
that somebody was able--

- Look at this guy.

Look at this slime ball, how
can the public buy this guy?

- He's got the looks, he's got the
moves,

that's all it takes.

- Do you have any comment on the
grand

jury appearance you'll
be making this week?

- Oh this, here he goes, watch him
squirm.

- As you know Bobby, I've
run into this trouble before

and it's never amounted to anything.

I think ourjudicial system today

is more willing to create headlines--

- Uh huh, yeah tell us something else.

- Criminals behind bars,
let's face it I'm a headline,

I'm sure I'm gonna be
vindicated and I will almost

bet you Bobby, that we
never even go to court.

(whistles)

- [Lovelace] Hey, take a look.

- Hey, hey styling pretty good there.

Whoa, Hank, now that is the power
look.

- Pretty good, huh?

- Let me tell you something,
you could walk out

of here right now, no
one would recognize you.

- You better be right,
what do you think honey?

- You look wonderful darling.

- Hank, this is just the beginning.

Our gratitude can be extraordinary.

- [Larry] Hooperman, is that you?

- Maybe, who is it?

- Lam'-

- Larry who?

- Larry Hoben, you remember me?

- Oh god, what are you doing here?

- I'm waiting for you.

- It's gonna be hard to
interpret this as good news.

- You gotta help me.

- How did you find me?

- You're in the book, Hooperman, H.

I almost robbed the liquor store
tonight.

- Almost?

- I just stood outside for
hours next to the dumpster,

trying to psych myself
up, I had a stocking mask

and everything, even a gun.

- This is a squirt gun.

- It was a spur of the
moment kind of deal,

I didn't have time to cop some real
heat.

- You're a free man, what
are you doing this for?

- I'm all confused.

I just can't get it together out here.

I sit around my room all
day eating soda crackers.

I tie my shoes, I untie my shoes.

I stare out the window,
I don't belong here.

I gotta be in the joint.

- Why me, Larry?

- Everybody else scares me.

- Go home.

- San Quentin is home.

They kicked me out of my home.

What kind of justice is that?

Outside I'm nothing, inside I'm a
wheel.

I'm important, I was a publisher.

The newsletter, I put together
the finest four pages in

the penal system, I got
subscriptions from other prisons.

- I'd love to hear all
about it but could you give

me a call in the morning?

- No you gotta listen to me.

Did I mention that I was the chief

entertainment consultant to the
warden?

I'm the guy who wrote to Johnny
Cash,

and all the rest of them celebrities.

- Then why don't you give Johnny a
call.

It's already 6:00 a.m. in Nashville.

- You don't understand, every
morning in stir I woke up

and I had something to do.

I was a mover, I was a shaker.

- I know a couple of programs for ex
cons,

kind of like support groups,
some of the guys at the station

do volunteer work with them.

Let's hook you up and see what
happens.

- I just wanna be the way I was.

- Come on, I'll drive you home.

- Hey, you're a good guy.

I could get tight with you.

- Resist that urge.

- Oh by the way I stole the bike,

that'll be worth a few days
in lock up, don't you think?

- Bring the bike.

- Okay, who founded the coast guard?

- Alexander Hamilton.

- How did you know that?

(knocking)

- Who's there?

- [Harry] Pritzger, McNeil and
Hooperman.

- Oh no, it can't be
Pritzger, Pritzger's already--

- [Harry] VWI you open the door?

- Where did you clowns go?

On a tour to Alcatraz?

- Hey the chicken necks
weren't that easy to find,

most markets don't carry them.

- You don't go to a market, chump,

you go to butcher shop, a butcher
shop.

- Don't you call me chump or I'll take
you

in the crapper and I'll give
you a Tidy Bowl shampoo.

(shouting)

- Listen, listen, we got
court in three hours, alright.

Then we're out of each
others faces for good.

Lunch in 20 minutes, let's
go unload, okay, come on.

We're cool, we're cool, let's go.

I'm going to really
miss these little chats.

- Another thing, let's get
some more cops around here.

You might have been followed.

I want an army so that when I eat,

my stomach doesn't get all jammed
up.

- Where were we?

- TV themes.

- Oh yeah, who's turn?

- Yours.
- Shoot.

- The theme from Bonanza.

- (imitates "Bonanza Theme Song")

- No no, that's not it.

- That's it.

- No, that's the theme from I Spy.

- Get out of here, that's not,
I Spy doesn't go like that,

remember I Spy, (mimics theme song)

You be Cosby, dun dun
dee dee, remember this,

da da, da da da, da da da.

(explosion booms)

(glass shattering)

(groaning)

- My nose, my nose, my nose, my
nose.

- McNeil, take care of him.

Do you understand what I'm trying--

- Get away from me!

Just get the hell away from me!

I'm not doing it, just forget it.

- You're not listening,
once you're part of the

witness relocation program,
your troubles are over.

- I've been relocated, from one end

of the room to the other.

- Mr. Lovelace, we
still have half an hour,

I'll call the FBI--

- Call the Marines for all I
care, I ain't going to court.

- Hank, don't crap out on me now.

- Get me out of here.

Get me some place safe.

- Put him in lock up,
we can see him in there,

no one can touch him, don't
take your eyes off him.

- [McNeil] Alright, let's go.

(sighing)

- Speak up, I can't hear ya.

Well you be deaf too ifa
bomb went off under your ass.

I'll call you back,
when I can hear better.

Captain, got a minute?

- A minute exactly.

- I just want you to know
that even though I was hit

by a lava lamp in that explosion,

I'm not putting in for any sick time,

I'm gonna remain here and do my
duty.

- A mixed blessing.

- Captain, I don't think
you're aware of the extent

of my injuries, that thing
could've taken off my whole face.

- What's your point'?

- I don't expect to be rewarded

with a silver medal or anything.

- Understood.

- Well even though I don't expect it,

I wouldn't turn it down.

- What exactly did you do?

- I hurled my body over the witness

to protect him from the blast.

- He claims you landed on him,

causing severe damage to his right
arm.

Let's hope he doesn't sue.

- Perfect timing, what'd he do?

- Tried to rob a liquor store.

- [Mo] He was so drunk the
store ownerjust bopped him

on the head with a can of
cream corn and called in.

- I had him going for a
minute with a squirt gun,

until I pulled the trigger.

(mimics spraying)

- The medic said he'd be alright.

- Hey, what do you think
I'm gonna get for this?

- Look, I'm busy I can't talk right now.

- I know man, I'm a menace to society.

- Ah ah, no roommates with that one.

- Larry, Larry Hoben?

- Hank Lovelace!

- They let you out?

- Yeah but I'm going back in.

How about you, are you going back in
too?

- I'm in trouble, I'm in real bad shape.

Hey, hey, I want my
friend in here with me.

- Okay do it, keep the cuffs on him.

- I hope you won't take
this the wrong way,

I know you must be in
pain and every thing,

but from over there, you
look like one of those

giant panda bears,

you know the kind that they
keep sending over from China?

I think they're wonderful creatures.

If I had to look like an
animal, that's the one I'd pick.

Feelbeflen

- [Harry] Okay, let's move him now.

We'll put a cop on every side of him

and carry him to the curb.

- I ain't testifying.

- Let's move.

- I ain't testifying, you can't make me.

Put me in Quinton, I don't care.

- That's it, case dismissed.

I might as well go to court so
I can hear the judge say it.

(metal crashing)

- [Harry] Well you won.

- Ah, that'll be it Kevin.

What did I Win?

- You really are an
arrogant bastard, aren't ya?

This isn't over.

- Oh sit down Mr. Hooperman,
I recommend the scampi

or the tortellini, they're specials today.

- How's the rat sandwich?

I almost had you.

Had you sweating there
for a while, didn't I?

And I'm gonna be on the
force 20 more years.

You're gonna screw up some
time and I'm gonna be there.

- I don't know what this
whole crusade is all about,

I'm sure it's well meaning,

but I don't know what
is has to do with me.

Although, I wish I had someone as

dedicated as you on me team.

- Are you offering me a job?

- No, I'm simply extending a
compliment.

Unless you're on duty.

- You don't realize this
but you've got an enemy,

I'm not gonna let this go.

I'm gonna be your
shadow, if you so much as

spit out your car window or J walk,

you're gonna be the new
girl on the cell block.

- Then I guess I'll have
to put on another lawyer.

Mr. Hooperman, I'm a business man,

I try to be good for my community

and I wish I could be left alone,

despite the unpleasant nature
of our business situation,

I find you immensely likable.

- I think you're a bag of Jakes.

A real pumped up chump.

- I don't like to be insulted,

and I don't like to be threatened.

Why don't you leave that to

people in the threatening business?

- You don't scare me,
I'm gonna take you down.

You're gonna be my new hobby.

What the hell, I don't like golf.

- Why don't you face it, what we have
here

is the old joke of the
ant and the elephant.

Hooperman, I am worth 160 million
dollars,

had to retain a law firm who bought

a building based on my business
alone--

(gun shooting)

- Larry!

(screaming)

Freeze!

(cameras clicking)

- I bailed myself out, bought a piece

on the street and took a cab over
here.

- Where'd you get all the money?

- I used the money you gave me.

- Saline Lovelace made a deal.

- They'd have thrown that
liquor store heist out anyway.

I had a chance to help
everybody, Lovelace,

you, me, it was pretty smart, huh?

- Yeah.

- Come on Larry, come on.

- Hey Hooperman, going home.

(smooth music)

(dog whining)