Original subtitles

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(UPBEAT MELODY PLAYS)

Good morning, Good Burger. (CHUCKLES)

Good morning, kitchen.

Good morning, Good Shake.

Good morning, me.

(CHUCKLES)

Morning, Ed. (LAUGHS).

Come on, everybody!

(SINGING) It's a great day for a good day

It's gonna be better than okay

Sweeter than a chocolate soufflé

The kind of day that makes you say

ALL: Hooray

Let's par-tay, hey

Like it's Friday, yay!

ALL: Let's spread out the sauce

And get cra-zay

'Cause it's a great day for a good day

Today

- (ED CHUCKLES) - MAN: Hello?

(MAN CLEARS THROAT)

Hello?

Hello! Hello! Sir!

- Hmm? Huh? - Hello! Hi!

- ED: Hello. (GRUNTS) - Hello.

I've been trying to wake you up for 20 minutes.

- Can I order some food, please? - Sure.

Uh-oh. Aah!

- (ED SIGHS, CHUCKLES) - (MUMBLES) I don't know.

(SIGHS) Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger.

Can I take your order?

(CHUCKLES)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude

'Cause we're all dudes

DEX: All right, you got this, Dex. Come on.

Your entire life is riding on this.

If you nail this presentation,

you're gonna become more successful than you could've ever imagined.

You can do this. But what if it doesn't go well?

It has to, or your life is finished!

- Done! No plan B. Life over! - (KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hey, Dex. It's almost time. Are you ready?

You know it.

Let's go to my house.

I didn't mean it like that. I just... 'Cause I have a presentation there.

Yeah, no, I know. I... I helped organize it.

- Exactly. Yeah. - Okay.

(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)

- (FEEDBACK OVER MICROPHONE) - Hello, lucky investors.

Who's ready to get richer?

- (ALL CHEERING) Yeah! - (DEX LAUGHS)

People told me it would take 10 years for my idea to turn into a reality.

But here we are, unveiling a finished prototype

less than three months later!

Suck it, scientists!

- (ALL LAUGHING) - (MAN WHOOPS)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Burn No More!

- (MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) - I wanna fire it up

-Yeah -Oh, oh, oh, oh

Yeah

You know what I came to do

DEX: That's right.

The patented Burn No More formula in these tanks

will render any object completely unburnable.

I'm so confident it will work,

I'm going to demonstrate on my very own house.

- (CROWD GASPS) - I know it sounds crazy, right?

And you know what? To make it a little more interesting,

let's put a bunch of fireworks in my house!

Put a bunch of fireworks in my house! That's right.

Burn No More is going to put firefighters out of business

- forever. - No more fires? Bummer.

Folks, are we ready?

- ALL: Yeah! - Let's do this!

Fire away!

- (CROWD GASPING) - You see that?

You see how the house is resisting the scorching flames?

- Oh, my God! - "Oh, my God" is right!

- It's unbelievable. - (CROWD CLAMORING)

You smell that? That's the smell of success!

(SNIFFING) Actually...

Kind of smells like...

Fire!

Stop, drop, and roll

Stop, drop, and roll

DEX: Oh, no! My house is on fire!

Oh, look at... And now the fake family is melting.

Oh, man, this is terrible!

- What do I... Oh! - (FIREWORKS EXPLODING)

Oh! Fireworks!

My life is over!

(SIREN WAILING)

No more fires, huh, bud?

(OMINOUS THEME PLAYS)

You owe me.

You lost my money. I have nothing now.

Except for a basketball team,

three jets, a TV show.

Oh, and I got this new Al project, Mark Al...

Never mind.

- You owe me. - Mark, if you could just give me

two more seconds of your time...

Come on back here, Mark. Let's talk about it.

- (SIGHS) - Hey, Dex.

Good... good job with the presentation.

- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Yeah, thanks. - Lot of energy.

- Yeah, it was, right? - Yeah.

I don't think I'm going to need an assistant anymore.

- I don't think you will either. - I'll see you around, I guess.

Maybe.

Probably not.

Bye, Dex.

(JUST CAN'T WIN BY LEE FIELDS & THE EXPRESSIONS PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

You keep trying

You keep trying

But you just can't win

But you just can't win...

- MAN ON PHONE: Hello? - Hey, yeah.

I'm trying to get into my office and my key's not working.

- Sorry, Dex, you've been evicted. - Evicted?

The investors pulled the plug on the money.

- Okay. - Listen, I hope you can find somebody

- who can help you out, all right? - Got it. Thank you.

But you keep on trying

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

And you might just win

- (SUCKS TEETH) - (LINE RINGING)

- WOMAN: Oh, hey, brother! - Hey, hey, sis!

- No. - Hello?

- (DIAL TONE BUZZES) - Hello? (SCOFFS)

Guess I should've expected that.

(SIGHS) Who can I call?

(SIGHS)

(DRAMATIC THEME PLAYS)

Hey, dude!

Are you thinking of me? I bet you are!

'Cause I'm the one that gave you the yo-yo.

Dude, if you need a place to stay,

your old pal Ed is always there for you.

- Bloobity, bloopity, bloopity! - (MOUTHS) Hell no.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY, LAUGHING)

Bloobity, bloopity, bloopity, call me!

(MAKE IT BY JUTES PLAYING)

(BUS DOORS CLOSE)

Tripped up, fell on my face

Head down, headed back to LA

Put my feet back on the pavement

Call the homie up the second I make it

Make it

Aw, man, all my dreams fell apart

I'm back at the start Ain't make it too far, yeah

(CAR SPUTTERING IN THE DISTANCE)

ED: (SINGING) He's a dude, she's a dude

'Cause we're all dudes, hey!

DEX: Yo, Ed!

ED: (SINGING) He's a dude

- DEX: Hey, man! - (HORN HONKS)

Oh, hey, Dex! (LAUGHS) Hey!

- DEX: Hey. - Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, dude, hey!

I was looking for you! (CHUCKLES)

(DEX SCREAMING)

- (GRUNTS) Ow! - (CHUCKLES)

- Hey, Dex. - Hey, man.

You almost car-burgered me to death.

Uh, no.

Glad you finally got some time off

from your incredibly successful business ventures

to come and see your best friend. (LAUGHS)

It's good to see you, too, man. It's been a minute.

No, it's been longer than a minute.

More like five years, eight months, and 32 days.

Yep, that sounds about right.

I'm glad you're back. Buckle up!

It's time for the new adventures of Ed and Dex!

- (ED EXCLAIMS) - Whoa!

- Ow! - Oh, sorry.

Uh, the new adventures of Ed and Dex starts now!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ED YELLING EXCITEDLY)

BOTH: (SINGING) I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude

'Cause we're all dudes, hey!

(LAUGHS)

So, what you been up to?

Oh, starting from the last time I saw you,

I went to sleep and then I woke up...

Oh, no, no, no. You don't have to...

You don't have to list everything that you've been doing.

I'm saying, like, what have you been up to lately?

Oh, well, I grabbed the Burgermobile, came to...

Nope. Have you done anything interesting at all

in the last week to six months?

- Oh, Good Burger was on TV. - Really?

Yeah, it was this really weird German dude.

(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Yummy! Hey, it's me, the Food Dude,

and I'm here at Good Burger, the home of the Good Burger!

Twenty years ago, their world-famous Ed's Sauce

put them on the map, making them the decisive victors

in the great burger war with their rival, Mondo Burger.

(GROWLING)

What's that, stomach? (GROWLING)

You hungry? Me also! Let's get in there. What?

I'm about to try my first Good Burger,

and I could not be more excited.

Mmm! Oh, that's what I'm talking about!

Oh, this burger is amazing, mmm!

Take it from Food Dude, Good Burger is one of a kind.

Ed, I would like 100 Good Burgers to go

with extra Ed's Sauce on the side.

- Okay, what side do you want? - What do you mean?

All right, I'll just do both sides.

(CHUCKLES) Okay, left side, right side!

(SCREAMING) Oh, left side!

(SCREAMING) Oh, right side! Oh, left side! Aah!

Sauce me! Sauce me!

DEX: Yep, that dude does sound weird.

ED: He sure is, but we're really big in Germany now,

wherever that is.

Wow, Good Burger.

Man, I cannot believe I'm back here after all these years.

Can't believe I'm back here after all these years.

Even though I worked here every day since I was 15.

Hey, employees. (CHUCKLES)

This is my best friend, Dexter.

He's a super-successful interpreter.

Actually, I think the word Ed is looking for is "entrepreneur."

But I guess the fact that I just pointed that out

also makes me an interpreter. (CHUCKLES)

This is our cook, Cindy. Sometimes she's Mindy.

Mmm, no, I'm always just Cindy.

- I'm Mindy. We're twins. - We're twins.

(GASPS) I don't know how she does that.

(ED GROANS)

- Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. - BOTH: Nice to meet you, too.

Yeah, and this is our delivery driver, Ruth.

(CHUCKLES) She sleeps a lot.

- You sure she's just sleeping? - Huh, let me see.

- (LOUD SQUAWK) - Hey, jackass, watch it!

- Yep, she was sleeping. - DEX: Sorry to disturb you.

And you know our newest trainee, my son.

(BOTH SIGH, CHUCKLING)

Well, if it isn't Ed 2.

Huh?

- It is. - Hey, Uncle Dex.

Look, instead of eyebrows, I got fry-brows.

Actually, they're just regular fries.

I glued 'em on my face.

(GRUNTING)

Well...

Mmm, gluey.

ED: Oh, hey, Mia.

Look who it is! It's your Uncle Dex.

Hey, Mia. Uh, you look...

- older. - ED: Oh, yeah.

She stopped wearing makeup

'cause she got dumped by her boyfriend last week.

- Nope. - (SIGHS)

Oh, you meant she looks older

'cause you haven't seen her in six years.

Probably that.

Even though Dexter is Mia's uncle, they haven't seen each other in years

because he ripped off her mom.

No, no, I didn't rip off anybody.

On purpose, that is. You know?

So, I was thinking, since I'm in town,

it might be nice for us to spend some time together, with my sister.

And we can all maybe go get some eats.

Eats and treats?

Yeah, that's a little inside joke that we do in my family

where one of us walks away from the other when they're talking.

- Wow. - That's not that funny.

That's fair.

Now, when someone orders a cola,

remember to put the lid on after you pour the drink.

Otherwise this will happen.

Oh. What about root beer?

- Same thing. - Huh. Fruit punch?

- Same thing. - Orange soda?

Huh, let me see.

- (BOTH LAUGH) - Same thing!

(LAUGHS, THEN SIGHS)

- Oh, I love orange soda. - Mmm!

I do, I do...

(IN SING-SONG VOICE) I do-do, ah

- Oh, I like that, son. - Thanks, Dad.

Hey, anybody sitting here?

Okay.

So, you're working at Good Burger now, huh?

- First job. - Yeah.

I mean, I had to get a job to help out my mom.

You know? Because she lost all her money.

- Yep. Yeah. - Hmph.

Yoo-hoo!

I'm hungry for foodstuffs!

And I wish to be acknowledged by a fast-food employee posthaste!

ED: Huh, all right.

(ED CLEARS THROAT)

Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger,

can I take your order?

Howdy-hoo. I'm Connie Muldoon.

Well, howdy-hoo, Connie Muldoon, huh.

Now that that's been established,

I will have one double Good Burger.

- Oh. - Make the first patty medium rare

and the second patty well done.

Betwixt the meats, I would like exactly...

(DIALOGUE SPEEDS UP) ...six and a half slices of pickle.

Two dill, one half sour, one full sour,

and two and a half gherkins. I just love those tiny little buggers.

Add one squirt of ketchup

and if it's not too much of a to-do,

please place two onion slices on top and then remove them.

I enjoy the essence of onion but not the crunch.

Um, uh, one Good Burger.

Well, wait!

My order was comprised of many more details than that!

Oh, sure, let me, uh...

The one, the two, and then the squiggly one.

- Upside-down nine, oh! - (REGISTER DINGS)

$7,244.

Oh! I shall now depart in a huff!

ED: Oh!

Bye, Connie! (CHUCKLES)

Your mom's pretty mad at me still, huh?

That's a polite way to put it.

I know I burned a lot of bridges, okay?

Actually, I burned a lot of things.

But I'm gonna get your mom her money back.

I swear, I'm going to make it up to her.

On the trip here, I thought of a great new idea.

First, I'm going to get the startup money.

Once I get my startup money, I'm gonna take that downtown...

Seriously? Still scheming.

What about all your money, Mr. Successful?

See? That tone lets me know that you don't understand business.

Okay, there's so much going on.

There's diversifications, acquisitions, um, dividends,

equity, mergers and... and...

and, uh, what's the thing they do on Wall Street? Stock market.

You're just listing business words.

No, I'm not. Recession.

These are some good fries, aren't they?

DEX: Wow, nice place, man.

Thanks for letting me crash here.

Well, it's the least I could do because your family hates you.

- Kids! (LAUGHING) - (CHILDREN SCREAMING EXCITEDLY)

- Oh, kids! Oh, kids! - Daddy!

- Daddy! - (ED KISSES)

- Say hi to Dex. (CHUCKLES) - CHILDREN: Hi, Dex.

Ed, you had a bunch of kids since I last saw you, huh?

Yeah. This is Pickles. She only has 10 toes.

- Only 10? - Mmm-hmm. And this is Mustard.

- He's allergic to hippos. - Yeah, yeah!

- How do you know that? - We had all the kids tested.

Yeah, and this is Ketchup. She's our third-favorite.

- You can't say that. - And this is Onion.

- He cries a lot. - Makes sense.

ED: And this is No Mayo. He got hit by lightning.

And now he glows in the dark.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, well, that's cause for concern.

Yeah, and this is our youngest, Baby Bun Bun!

(ROXANNE BY ARIZONA ZERVAS PLAYING)

Roxanne, Roxanne

All she wanna do is party all night

Hey, Dex.

Hey, Rox... Roxanne.

Good to... good to see you.

Wait, Ed, you're married to Roxanne?

Ew! No! Roxanne's our nanny.

As a nun, I could never be married.

I just love being around children.

They are the future.

And Ed has created the best family ever.

He's such a good father.

- And husband. - Oh, there... Yes.

There's your wife. Hey, Edie, good to see you.

Dex, so good to see you.

Edie's been working as a trapeze artist, ha!

Oh! Well, that makes sense that somebody in your family

would work at the circus. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Oh, no, I paint pictures of trapezes.

- (EDIE CHUCKLES) - Oh, a... a trapeze artist.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, what was I thinking?

(DOG PANTING)

- Who's this little fella? - ED: Attack.

- (DOG BARKING) - ED: Attack! Attack!

- (SCREAMS) - Attack!

ALL: Attack! Attack!

Why are you telling him to attack me?

Well, that's the dog's name. His name is Attack.

Don't bite me!

(SQUAWKING)

- (SCREAMS) - Oh, no, that's our bird.

His name is Don't. Don't! Attack!

- Don't! Attack! - DEX: Help!

Somebody get that bird off of me!

(BIRD SQUAWKS)

You can sleep in my burger bed. I'll just sleep in the bathtub.

- The water's really relaxing. - (DEX SIGHS)

Wait, you sleep in a tub with the water?

Yeah. Best part about it is,

you don't gotta get out of bed to pee.

All right. Well, on that note,

I will be turning in, fellas. (SIGHS)

Before you go to bed...

BOTH: Pillow fight?

You wanna have a pillow fight right... No!

- (SCOFFS) - (BOTH SIGH DISAPPOINTEDLY)

- Kids! - (CHILDREN LAUGHING)

- Dex said no to pillow fights. - (SIGHS DISAPPOINTEDLY)

Aw, come on, man.

You know, it's a bummer because pillows are really...

(SNORING)

BOTH: Aw...

(WATER RUNNING, FAUCET SQUEAKS)

Good morning! I made you breakfast.

"Eat me! Ooh, I taste so good!"

(IN SING-SONG VOICE) Bacon lips, bacon lips, bacon lips

(CHUCKLES)

Well, that's very kind of you, Ed.

But I prefer to eat breakfast not in the bathroom.

I also prefer to be alone when I'm in the bathroom.

Oh, okay. I'll just take my shower later.

Oh, you know what? Ed...

You think I can get a job at Good Burger?

It's not for the money. Although I expect to get paid.

Sure, I'll put in a good word to Mr. Jensen.

He's our manager.

- Thanks, Ed. You're the man. - Mmm-hmm.

Ooh, uh, that's not soap, by the way.

It's maple syrup.

Why would you have maple syrup in the bathroom?

For the pancakes, duh! (CHUCKLES)

Oh, yeah, silly me.

Wow, there's the old crew.

- Man, look at us. - Yeah, I know.

No, wait. Focus! All right. Mr. Jensen's gonna be here any minute.

And I really want you to nail this interview. So, let's practice.

I'll pretend to be Mr. Jensen, and you pretend to be you.

- Is this really necessary? - Oh, yeah.

(SIGHS)

Hello! I'm Mr. Jensen.

You can call me... I don't know my first name.

Uh, but just call me Mr. Jensen.

All right. And you are?

- I'm Dex. - Nice to meet you, Tex.

It's Dex. And you know that.

All right, now, have you ever worked in the fast-food industry?

Because when you're working with meats...

( IMITATES PHONE RINGING)

( IMITATES PHONE CLICK)

Hello? What? Yeah, this is Mr. Jensen.

My wife? Oh! She's having the baby right now?

Oh! Oh-ho-ho! I'm... I'm having a baby!

Push, honey!

(BREATHING RAPIDLY)

Push!

I have a baby!

I'm a daddy! (SOBBING)

- (SIGHS) - Congratulations.

Sorry! Sorry I'm late. My bicycle had a flat tire.

You must be Dex!

And you're Mr. Jensen? As in an adult?

Yeah.

Dex, you're hired. Welcome to the Good Burger family.

Seriously? Just like that?

- Well, Ed is a great guy. - Oh!

And he's a great judge of character.

And also, Ed obviously owns Good Burger,

so whatever he says goes.

(CHUCKLES) Head burger in charge.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to call my mom

and tell her I made it to work safely.

Call Mommy.

(JENSEN SPEAKING SPANISH)

Wow, man, I cannot believe you actually own Good Burger now.

(LAUGHS) Yeah. The owner left it to me after he went bye-bye forever.

He said Good Burger would've gone bankrupt

if it wasn't for my sauce.

Plus, he knows I'm really good at business stuff.

Did he ever actually meet you?

Yeah, I got a picture of him in my wallet.

- (DOG BARKS) - Man, that's a dog wearing sunglasses.

No, it's not...

Oh, this isn't my wallet!

Wait, these aren't my pants!

Ooh, boot cut. (CHUCKLES)

I just can't believe I'm back working at Good Burger

after all these years, man.

And my best friend is here, and you actually own the place!

- Yeah. - Probably got money, too, huh?

Oh, well... (CHUCKLES)

Hey, actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you

about this idea I've been having to...

- Come in the freezer real quick. - Ooh, frosty!

- All right. - Yeah.

DEX: Come on.

- (WHISPERS) Come here. - Oh, okay.

- All right. Can we talk for a minute? - Yeah, I love to talk.

I've been talking since I was eight.

- Just have a seat. - Oh, okay. Huh.

I got a great idea, man. I'm not telling anybody about it.

But I gotta tell you, 'cause you my best friend, right?

- Heh, cool. - Well...

- What's this? - Oh, it's another freezer.

We stopped using it after the handle broke 22 years ago.

And you just never bothered to put it back on?

- Well... - Looks like it just slides right on.

I really think it's going to make so much money.

(BOTH SCREAM)

Oh, heh, Fizz.

(CHUCKLES)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

- How long was I in there for? - About 22 years, give or take.

Huh, 22 years, give or take.

Jiminy Crickets, that's a long time!

- I was wondering where you went. - The last thing I remember

was hearing you through the door saying you broke the handle

and you would be right back.

You must've gotten distracted. (LAUGHS)

- Yeah. - (FIZZ SIGHS)

You're taking this very well, man. You sure you're okay?

Well, I am a little cold.

Oh, I just realized, I missed baseball practice.

And the rest of high school! And college!

Oh, I better go see my parents.

They're probably worried sick about me!

Whoa.

Who's that grown-up?

It's me! (CACKLES)

Well...

(LAUGHS) Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger.

- Can I take your order? - Hmm, um...

Do you guys serve veggie burgers?

Oh, yeah, I can serve anything on the menu.

- Oh, great. - Watch. Whoa!

- Good Burger! - Oh!

Good Fries! Good Chunks!

Stop! I came here to eat the food, not play tennis with it!

Oh, I know what you want. You want pickleball.

- Oh, okay. - No one said...

- Fore! - Oh!

- Oh, no, stop! - Fore!

- I'm never coming back here again! - Oh.

And no one says "fore" in tennis.

- That's golf. - Oh! She's right.

- What? Who did that? - Knock it off.

Ed, just the man I'm looking for.

Hey, Mr. Lawyer Guy.

That's right, Mr. Lawyer Guy. That's me, Cecil McNevin.

(CHUCKLES) You know, I was wondering if, um,

if me and you could have a private conversation.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Hey, everybody!

Could you all please leave

so me and this lawyer guy could have a private conversation?

- Meh! - No. No, no, no.

Nobody has to go anywhere.

I just want me and you to talk, just one on one.

Well, that sounds unnecessarily complicated, but all right.

Hey, everybody! It's okay, you don't have to leave.

Sit on down. (CHUCKLES)

Hey, Dex, work the register for me, all right?

Come on.

- (SQUEAKING) - Okay.

Hey, man, who's that guy?

Oh, that guy, he's from MegaCorp.

He keeps trying to talk Ed into selling Good Burger.

MegaCorp? The giant tech company?

And he wants to buy Good Burger?

You got the register, Mr. Jensen.

Hey, I'm the manager. I'm supposed to tell you stuff.

- This private enough for you? - CECIL: This is perfect.

- ED: Yeah. - (CECIL CHUCKLES)

I got these. I got 'em.

(SUSPENSEFUL THEME PLAYS)

- Uh, we're still eating here. - Shh!

As you can see, my client significantly increased the offer.

- ED: Oh. - CECIL: That's pretty nice, right?

Oh, no, I'm just reading.

There's a bunch of O's. Oh!

(CHUCKLES) Ed, those are not O's.

Those are zeros.

ED: Oh, zeros.

(ED CHUCKLES)

- I guess I'm done with that. - Mmm-hmm.

- CECIL: Here. - Uh, look,

I don't care how many zeros or O's you offer.

Good Burger's not for sale.

Nah. Here, you can have that.

All right, you're all clean. Enjoy your meal.

That was surprisingly refreshing.

- You'll be sorry. - (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, Ed, what you doing?

Oh, just unclogging the strawberry Jacuzzi.

Oh, nice, well, uh... Couldn't help but notice

but that MegaCorp dude was trying to give you money to sell.

Yeah, he wants me to open Good Burgers all around the world.

But I promised everyone I will not sell.

Just out of curiosity, how much we talking?

It doesn't matter.

I'm happy the way things are. I don't want to mess things up.

Plus, I got more money than I can ever dream of.

- (ED GRUNTS) - (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Ed, are you using a plunger to unclog the shake machine?

As in the same plunger we use to unclog the toilet?

- Uh, no. - (SCOFFS) Ugh!

Guys, you'll never guess who just ordered a Good Burger.

Ooh, is it Stefan Löfven, the former prime minister of Sweden?

Chewbacca? Shakespeare?

Shakespeare's been dead for 400 years.

Well, then how'd he make the order?

Just look. It's only my favorite artist, Luna Foxx.

- (BOTH GASP) - (GASPS)

My ex was supposed to take me to that show.

Ooh, I want to do that delivery!

- Me, too. I just gotta change. - Me three.

I got it. Come on, slowpokes.

(ED 2 GRUNTS)

- (HORNS HONKING) - (PEOPLE CLAMORING)

RUTH: Is that a giant lollipop?

That was a stop sign.

- Aw, I love giant lollipops. - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

Oh, that's much better.

Why would you pick Ruth to be the driver?

Well, she's too old to work the register.

Good point. Uh, pull over, please, Ruth.

Yeah, just ease it to the right. Ease it... Help her out.

- Ease it to the right. - Just...

(MUFFLED HIP-HOP PLAYING)

Got it, gonna make it

I got it, gotta take it

Go home it, go home it...

- (HORN HONKING) - (CRASH)

- (ALL SCREAMING) - MIA: Uncle Dex, watch out!

- (ENGINE DIES) - What the...

That's what I call driving!

(ED LAUGHING)

- Now, just be cool, Ed. Be cool. - Okay.

(LITTLE GREEN BAG BY GEORGE BAKER SELECTION PLAYING)

Yeah

ED: Hey, Luna Foxx. (CHUCKLES)

We got a special delivery for you.

- Nice to meet you, Luna Foxx. - Nice to meet you, too.

But I'm kind of in the middle of something.

- Huh? - (CROWD CHEERING)

ED: You should've ordered way more food.

Well, this has been fun.

- Goodbye. - ED: Oh.

(SOFT MELODY PLAYS)

Actually, you know what?

Can I get a picture of you with my niece?

Her ex was supposed to bring her to this concert.

Of course, I'll take a picture with her after the show.

- You want to do it right now? - No.

- Okay, great. - Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm.

- Now? - Mmm-mmm. Hi!

Hey, girl. (GIGGLES)

Don't ever say your uncle didn't do nothing nice for you!

I can't believe this is happening!

- Me neither. - (SHUTTER CLICKS)

Can you believe I got a picture with her?

(LAUGHS)

Hey, you coming out with us tonight, Dex?

Oh, I was gonna spend some time with your dad.

Oh, I'm going, too.

We all go to Fun-tasy Island every Thursday night, right?

- They have bowling. - And roller skating.

- And automatic paper-towel dispensers. - Yeah.

Come on, Uncle Dex. It'll be fun.

- Sure, why not? - BOTH: Cool.

I just gotta change into my party clothes.

(BUTTONS RICOCHETING)

- Let's party! - (ALL CHEER)

Did you see, he had the same shirt on underneath.

Yeah, he does that.

- (UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYS) - (ED 2 GRUNTING)

Why is everybody going the wrong way? Whoa!

Help me out!

Whoa, whoa!

ED: Thanks for doing that.

It's kind of hard to tie them up with bowling balls stuck to my hands.

How'd you even get them stuck? Never mind.

Well, look, Ed, I'm really excited to talk to you

- about this business opportunity. - Count me in.

Really? You don't even want to hear the idea?

You're my best friend. How much do you need?

- How much do you have? - Ooh, hmm...

I have three, 13 million...

(CHUCKLES) carry the snowman,

uh, square root of nine,

an isosceles triangle, 71, 71, 71, 71.

Boom! I can give you...

$136.

$136?

(LAUGHS) Yeah, just give me a couple days.

I'll talk to my accountant, have her move stuff around.

Ed, I thought you said

you had more money than you could dream of.

Yeah, all I ever dream of is Good Burger,

my family, and my friends, like you.

All right, great. You're all set, cowboy.

Ah, thank you. You're so cool. Man, this is heavy.

Oh, okay. Hold on.

I'm gonna get a little drinky drink.

Oh, I can just... Oh, boy!

- Okay. - That didn't work, okay.

- See you in a minute. - Be careful.

- There's an exit... - We're rolling. Oh!

- All right. - Okay. (GRUNTING)

Oh, that's slippery.

(ED SCREAMS)

Small wall! Aah!

Oh! I'm okay!

(OMINOUS THEME PLAYS)

- We need to talk. - Okay, let's talk.

What do you guys want to talk about? Whoa!

Okay, well, I might be a little heavy because of the bowling balls.

Remember you taught me how to skate?

Of course I remember. I remember everything about you.

I remember you love unicorns and you're a whiz at computers.

Remember when you hacked into that travel website for me

and I flew first class for, like, an entire year?

I can't believe you had a six-year-old do that for you.

- Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - So, go on then.

Why don't you tell me about your top-secret billion-dollar idea.

- Really? - Mmm-hmm.

Okay, get ready.

- Permanent ice. - (LAUGHING)

Oh, wait, you're serious?

Yeah, think about it.

It'll always stay cold and never melts in the heat.

So, that's your idea, permanent ice?

Permanent ice? That's a great idea!

- Whoa! Sorry! - Oh, see, now he heard it.

Who cares who hears? It's a terrible idea.

And it's impossible.

Nah, I mean, I just thought, why wouldn't people want that?

Uncle Dex, just because you think of something,

it doesn't mean you can make it magically exist, okay?

(CHUCKLES)

I thought you said this place was gonna be fun.

ED: (GRUNTING) Oh, dude!

Okay. So what do you guys want to talk about?

We think you should reconsider selling Good Burger.

Oh, no thank you.

Ed, what do you love the most?

- Well, I love my pet goldfish Goldie. - Goldie?

Be a shame if something bad happened to Goldie.

Oh, like if he peed his pants? Well, that could happen to anybody.

Oh, wait. Goldie doesn't wear pants.

(SIGHS)

It's time to be a little bit more direct with him, huh?

Listen, this is a legally-binding contract

saying you are selling us Good Burger.

- Now, sign it. - And I'm the notary.

- So it'll be official! - What?

I would never sign that. (CHUCKLES)

I was thinking... I love your sauce!

You make great sauce.

Would you sign an autograph for me?

ED: Oh, yeah, of course.

It might be a little hard because I've got these balls here.

- Very easy. - They're very heavy...

Let me help you with that.

- Oh, okay. - I'll take this from you.

- Okay, all right. - Let it go.

- I just... - Come on.

- Ah, okay, go! - Whoa!

Whoa! (GROANING)

Oh, dude.

Thanks for getting the ball off my hand!

You're in real trouble now.

Huh?

(SCREAMS)

Ow! (GROANS)

(BALL CLATTERING)

All right, I'm going back to the party with my friends!

Nice meeting you guys!

(GROANS)

- CINDY AND MINDY: Work it, Ruth! - You look so good, Ruth!

- So good! - What are you doing?

They are turning me into a robot.

And we're filming it for our makeup vlog.

Okay, well, that seems more important than giving customers their food.

- BOTH: That's what we thought. - (JENSEN SIGHS)

Hey, the new grill I ordered just came in.

Okay, good. Let's go get it.

No, I got it right here.

(GRUNTS)

Ed, I think you might've ordered the wrong kind of grill.

(MUFFLED) The whole thing is, if you don't dry run the grill...

(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

- You're absolutely right. - Yes.

- DEX: Mmm-hmm. - (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

All right.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

- (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) - Give me, give me more!

(ENGINE REVVING)

(INAUDIBLE)

Give me, give me more!

Um, excuse me. If you're looking for Ed,

he doesn't play in the trash until after work.

(CHUCKLES) No, you got it wrong, playboy.

I'm not looking for Ed. I'm actually looking for you.

- It's Dex, right? - Yeah.

Hey, man, throw that trash away and jump on in. Come on.

Uh, you... I think... No, I don't think... All right.

I just want to have a conversation with you.

DEX: Man, your shoe closet is bigger than most houses.

I got six kitchens, three backyards.

- What? - I got 32-and-a-half bathrooms.

- Indoor pool, outdoor pool. - Goodness.

As a matter of fact, I got a llama farm. (CHUCKLES)

You know, I can see you in a place like this.

Pfft, I would be very comfortable here, let me tell you.

You remind me a lot of my younger self, you know?

I just got more breaks than you did.

Somewhere in the multiverse, you would have owned all this, huh?

And I'm the one working in a fast-food restaurant. (CHUCKLES)

Was there anywhere in the multiverse

where you get to the point?

Good Burger is an amazing business.

But there's only one of them.

Can you imagine we had Good Burgers and Ed's famous sauce everywhere?

Huh? (CHUCKLES)

See, that's what MegaCorp is trying to do, right?

We're trying to open a bunch of 'em. But you know Ed. (CHUCKLES)

Well, that's because Ed likes things the way they are.

He definitely does not want to sell Good Burger.

He doesn't have to sell Good Burger. That's not what we want.

No, we want him to franchise it,

give us permission to open stores everywhere.

So, wait. You're saying that Ed can stay at Good Burger

and keep the life that he loves,

and you're just gonna pay him a lot of money?

Oh, you get it. Exactly.

And where do I fit in all of this?

My client is willing to pay a lot of money

to someone who can convince Ed that this is an amazing idea.

And maybe even that someone could become a partner.

Hmm? A win-win.

A win-win...

win.

- I like that third W. - (LAUGHS)

- That's a lot of wins. - (BOTH LAUGHING)

- (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) - Just can't wait to be a billionaire

I've been in my bag And ain't no feelings there...

Man, I've missed this rooftop.

The stars look much better from up here, don't you think?

(MUFFLED) I really do think that.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

Could you please take the grills out of your mouth?

Oh, um, sorry.

Hey, hey, Dex, it's really good having you up here, man.

I really missed you.

When you were gone,

I would look at this picture of us

and remember all the fun times.

DEX: Oh, I remember this day.

This is when we went paintballing and lost

because we were on the same team

but you shot me in the back of the head.

- (LAUGHS) Fun times, man. - Mmm.

And, look, I know how busy and successful you are,

but it means a lot that you came to see me.

Well, you're my best friend.

Kind of my only friend.

But actually, Ed, I am a little concerned.

You know, I think you're missing some serious opportunities.

I think you should let these people open up some new Good Burgers.

Or at least hear them out. I'll go with you, you know?

Just make sure everything is cool.

(ED SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

What is that? Is that a yes, is that a no?

Would you please take the grills out of your mouth?

Nah, I don't have any grills in my mouth. (CHUCKLES)

I just like talking silly.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

But, yeah, if you want me to do it, I'll do it.

- Really? - Yeah.

(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(BOTH SINGING GIBBERISH)

Gonna get it on the east side

- Yeah! - That's it.

(LAUGHS) Dude, I'm glad you're back.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Mmm...

(GROANS, RETCHING)

Oh, fellas. (CHUCKLES) Thanks for joining me.

- Thanks for being joined. - Thanks for buying us lunch.

- You are paying, right? - Of course. (CHUCKLES)

What language is this menu in?

Uh, I think you might have it upside-down.

- So I do. - CECIL: Look, I'll get to the point.

MegaCorp understands how valuable Good Burger is, right?

And if you sign this contract,

uh, it...

- What are you doing? - I'm just reading the menu.

What?

You didn't have to turn yourself all upside-down.

You could've just flipped the menu over.

Oh, now it's all upside-down again!

Oh, okay. Oh.

- (ED GRUNTS) - Knock it off.

Huh, much better.

- Cool. - (CECIL CHUCKLES)

Uh, now, look, I know you have concerns, right?

But I want you to understand something.

You're still going to be the face of Good Burger

but bigger than ever.

Ugh, but I like my face the size that it is.

Gentlemen, have we decided?

I'll do the fettuccini alfredo.

Whoa, how did you know his name was Alfredo?

My name is Maurice.

Alfredo is the sauce.

Mmm.

Well, I will have one of whatever the most expensive thing is.

Classy. And for you?

Oh, I'll have a burger.

- Would you like soup or salad? - (ED GASPS)

A super salad? What does a super salad look like?

Wow! What is its superpowers?

Wait, how did it get its superpowers?

Was it bitten by a radioactive cucumber?

(LAUGHS)

- Salad it is. - Oh, cool.

Nothing's gonna happen to the original Good Burger.

All the employees will able to keep their jobs. In fact...

we're gonna give everybody raises.

Oh, you hear that?

This is going to be a winning situation for everybody.

- Would I steer you wrong? - Well, Dex is my best friend,

and if he thinks it's the right thing to do...

I do. I think it's the right thing to do.

Then I'll do it. Yeah.

(LAUGHS)

Fantastic. All right. Let's make it official.

All I need here is your signature

and we good to go.

- (CECIL LAUGHS) - Okay.

- Oh, yeah. - (DEX SIGHS)

Oh, man, it is a pleasure doing business with you, sir.

- (CHUCKLES) - Water?

I think so. (GRUNTS)

Let me see.

(SLURPING)

Hmm? Hmm. Hmm?

Hmm! (GARGLING)

Oh, yeah, that's water.

(SIGHS)

None for me, thanks.

- (POP MUSIC PLAYING) - I feel good, I feel great

I got sun kissing on my face

It's just something about today...

Milkshake?

Mia. Milkshake?

They're for you. I mean, milkshake, anyone?

You were just right here.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Okay. - I really hope you enjoy it.

(ALL CHEERING)

We put fries in the burger piñata.

- Very hygienic. - Yeah.

Thanks for throwing the party, Ed.

Uh, these are our boyfriends.

- Kenny. - And Benny.

ED: Uh, hi.

Don't freak out, Ed.

Just smile and nod like everything isn't twice.

CINDY AND MINDY: So here's how we met.

I was cooking the Good Burger and this hottie tamale walks in.

I was like... (GASPS)

He orders a Good Burger, Good Fry,

Good Shake, Good Pie, Good Chili, Good Chunks.

No! That is too much.

I'm sorry, Ed's gotta make a little speech. Excuse us.

BOTH: (SPLUTTERING) We didn't even get to the good part!

(SIGHING)

Cecil, it's a great day for Good Burger, isn't it?

Oh, it's a beautiful day. It's going to be a day to remember.

- (LAUGHS) - That's right.

- Hey, everybody! - (CROWD CHEERING)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Welcome to the French-fries-ing of Good Burger. (CHUCKLES)

- Franchising! - ED: I didn't want to do it,

but Dex convinced me that it'd be good for all of us.

I guess it's true,

because everybody that works at Good Burger

is getting a raise!

- (ALL CHEERING) - Yay, Dex!

(ED LAUGHS)

Yeah, I want to hear some music! Hit it, Yung Gravy!

- You got it, baby. - (ELECTRONIC POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Cook it up just right by my side

We're grooving

Saddle up, let's ride in the sky

We're cruisin'

You know I got you for life

We sauce it up every time

Cook it up just right by my side

- (YAWNS) - It's Gravy's Delight

So, um, I guess your mom's not coming?

Yeah, I asked, and I think her exact words were "Hell no."

Okay.

Hey, Mr. Lawyer Guy! What's going on?

I am having a blast! I'll tell you what's going on.

Now that we own Good Burger,

we're going to make some new, exciting changes.

- (LAUGHS) - What kind of changes?

First, of all, we're shutting down this store.

Oh, yeah, that's right! We're gonna party all night!

- Shut it down! - (ALL CHANTING) Shut it down!

Shut it down! Shut it down!

- Shut it down! Shut it down! - You guys are hysterical!

I don't think you understand. We're gonna close this place.

- You're all fired. - I like that, fired!

Fired, heh! Fired, heh! It's hot!

We're fired, we're fired!

Oh, whoo! Fired! Fi...

Oh, you mean we're really fired.

BOTH: We thought we were getting raises.

I don't understand. You just said...

Wait, relax, everybody.

Now, we're still partners on this, all right,

and that is not the deal.

We say that nobody's getting fired.

Yeah.

According to this contract you signed without reading,

we can do anything we want.

In fact, it also says we're not partners at all.

Matter of fact, hey...

you just got hustled by a real hustler, playboy.

Get off me.

(CECIL LAUGHS)

And now, time for my grand speech.

I'm totally not having fun anymore.

Uh, everybody, I want to thank y'all for coming out

and celebrating this Good Burger's farewell party. (LAUGHS)

Make some noise! (LAUGHS)

That's right, this location is shut down. (LAUGHS)

Now, look, do me a favor. My client do not like trespassers.

And right now, you're all trespassers!

Please leave. Bye. Now! Have a nice day.

How are we supposed to have a nice day after what you said?

(CROWD MURMURING)

This is all your fault, Uncle Dex.

Yeah, Dex, you said everything was going to be okay.

- BOTH: Well, it's not. - Hold on, hold on.

They screwed me out of a lot of money, too.

I don't know why they would do this. Why would they do this?

Now we're all out of jobs.

Who's gonna hire Ruth? She's practically dead.

- No offense. - It's okay, sweetie.

My heart stopped four times this week.

Well, this isn't my fault.

You know, you seem to have to say that an awful lot.

I guess my mom was right about you.

Mia, come... Mia!

Don't leave it like this, y'all.

Come on, Ed, I didn't know this was gonna happen.

- You gotta believe me. - It's okay.

I just wish you didn't tell me to sell Good Burger.

You know what? You can have this photo.

It doesn't bring me happiness anymore.

This was not my fault!

This was all my fault! Oh, man!

I saw a solution to my problems,

and then I just rushed into it without even thinking.

(SIGHS) All I had to do was read the contract.

But, no, I'm just always looking for the quick fix...

- (GLASS SHATTERS) - I could fix that real quick.

No! Oh, man, I was gonna pay my sister back!

And now a whole bunch of new people hate me.

I just don't get it.

MegaCorp does not need to close down Good Burger.

There's got to be something we can do.

ED: Tickle 'em. I'm gonna line them up

- and tickle 'em real good. - Ed, what are you doing?

Huh? I'm playing Bunny Smash.

Yeah, it's my favorite game.

You get bunnies, you tickle 'em,

and if you tickle them real good and they laugh, you get a carrot!

Ed, come on, man, focus!

How could you be playing a video game at a time like this?

Well, I'm trying not to think about Good Burger.

Oh, now I'm thinking about Good Burger.

- We gotta do something! - Ooh, I know what we could do.

We can get a bunch of random celebrities,

get 'em all together,

and have them sing a song about saving Good Burger.

There's a burger place...

(SINGING) On each and every street

But there's only one that matters

When you need something good to eat

Today is the day

When all dudes must unite

To come and do it together

For a cause that is just right

ALL: Give Good Burger back

Come on!

Give Good Burger back

- I... - Eh, I don't know. But maybe.

ALL: (SINGING) You've gotta give it back now

Give Good Burger back

Give Good Burger back

- No, we're not gonna do that. - (SIGHS)

But we're not just gonna sit here. You know what?

Let's go over to MegaCorp and have a reasonable conversation,

and get them to change their minds, right?

- That's a plan. - Yeah, dude.

- (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) - Y'all can't mess with the club

Club, club, club, club, club

Y'all can't mess with the club

Club, club, club, club, club

Y'all can't mess with the club

Y'all can't never understand it

On another level, another bandwidth

Uh, I'm in the club with my sandwich

Yo, call that a club sandwich

Everybody in the club know how to dance

Care about the music Don't care about the bands

Not about the jelly Only in it for the jams

Put some boogie in the Vans

Uh, yes, sir, howdy-doo?

You may go ahead and tell the head of MegaCorp

that Ed and Dex is here to see them.

You can go on ahead and let us in

because we are not taking no for an answer.

(SUSPENSEFUL THEME PLAYS)

(PHONE DIALING)

It's Jimathy, Security.

Ed and Dex are here to see 'em.

Ed and Dex are here to see you.

We demand to see them. We're not taking "no" for an answer.

And they demand to see you and will not take no for an answer.

Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm.

You can head on in. Go on up to the top floor.

- Oh! Come on. - We can go in?

- That easy? - No!

You're also going to need your visitors' passes.

That's okay, we already have our own.

We already have our own.

Have a MegaCorp day!

- This is a big office. - Yeah.

Ed and Dex. We've been expecting you.

I want you to say hello to the new owner of Good Burger.

That's right, it's me.

Uh, I have no idea who you are.

- Yeah, you don't seem familiar. - Uh-uh.

Katt Bozwell.

- Nope. - I got nothing.

Well, surely you remember my older brother, Kurt.

Years ago, he opened Mondo Burger across the street from Good Burger.

Then, thanks to you two, Mondo Burger went under.

And my brother went to jail.

Yeah, of course we remember.

- Hmm. - I don't.

You sure you're not confusing me with a different Ed

that worked at Good Burger across the street from Mondo Burger,

who created a secret sauce that your brother tried to steal?

Ed, she didn't say anything about the secret sauce.

Oh, so I do remember.

KATT: You two dest...

- Cecil. - Huh? Oh!

Help me out of the egg.

You two destroyed my family.

And I've been planning my revenge ever since.

- It's very sweet. - (GULPS)

I own Good Burger now,

and we're going to be opening Mega Good Burgers

in cities all over the world.

Mmm-hmm. From Hollywood to Hong Kong.

Hong Kong's not a city, it's the name of an ape.

Nope, that's the wrong Kong.

Is Wrong Kong the name of the ape?

- What? - King Kong.

- Oh, the game with the paddles? - (DISGUSTED SIGH)

- Ping-Pong. - Oh, the sound a doorbell makes.

- Ding-dong! - What?

Please stop! Silence.

(WHINES)

The point is, I'm finally living up to my family's dream.

But this time, it's called Mega Good Burger.

You didn't have to fire everybody from the original Good Burger.

I mean, can't you consider giving them their jobs back?

- No! - Uh-uh.

No, we cannot. Because we don't need you anymore.

We don't need any employees. That's the best part.

I'll explain over lunch.

You boys like burgers, right?

- (SPLUTTERS) - ls lunch happening now?

- CECIL: Follow her. - Okay.

KATT: Open!

Open!

This way.

- Sit! - (WHINES)

Who's hungry?

(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING, BUZZING)

Welcome to Mega Good Burger, home of the Mega Good Burger.

Can I take your order?

Whoa!

It's like looking at a mirror with my picture taped on it.

What?

All Mega Good Burgers will be fully automated,

and, as you can see,

Ed is still the face of Mega Good Burger.

I would like one Mega Good Burger,

one order of Mega Good Fries,

and one chocolate Mega Good Shake, please.

- (ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) - One Mega Good Burger,

one Mega Good Fry,

one Mega Good Shake. That'll be $8.

(CHUCKLES)

- Oh. - (SCANNER BEEPING)

Payment accepted. Your meal will be out momentarily.

You can feel it when the payment's accepted.

(CHUCKLES)

- ED: Ooh! - DEX: Man! Oh!

You put the laser on the meat.

( IMITATES MACHINE SQUIRTING) Then the "pfft."

- (SQUIRTING) - Ed's Sauce.

My Ed's Sauce.

- They got my sauce. - I know, that's my fault.

There we go, ooh!

- Juicy lettuce, yeah. - ED: Wow!

Yes!

DEX: Okay...

Faster.

Faster.

- Nice. - Where... where did it go?

Oh, where'd it go? (CHUCKLES)

(KATT LAUGHS)

- Oh! - (GASPS)

KATT: It's there.

Here's your meal. Thank you for choosing Mega Good Burger.

I know, thank me.

Wow, an efficient Ed.

It's like he's me.

But I'm me! (GASPS)

Maybe we're both me!

If you're a me, when's my birthday?

Sorry, I do not have the answer to "When is my birthday?"

(LAUGHS) Oh, whoa! I don't know when my birthday is either!

Wow, this is so weird, dude!

Ed, that is a robot you.

MegaCorp wants to replace everybody with Ed robots.

We call them Ed-amatronics.

It's pretty clever. I came up with it.

Picture it. No more annoying employees

with their annoying problems, like getting sick

or asking for a raise or, "I need to go to the bathroom."

Well, too bad, so sad. Not on my dime.

You poo on your own time!

Zero employees, maximum profits.

See? Why does everyone call you a lousy businessman?

- I don't get it. - Everyone thinks I'm lousy?

- Uh, yes. - Oh.

Oh, wait, I forgot. There's more.

- Follow me. - More?

Oh.

Welcome to the Control Room.

Okay, this is starting to feel like you're bragging now.

In this one room, I can manage

all Mega Good Burger locations at once.

Watch this.

Dallas!

Welcome to Mega Good Burger, yee-hoo!

- London. - Welcome to Mega Good Burger, milady.

Madrid, Spain.

Didn't have to say the "Spain" part.

Bienvenido a Mega Good Burger.

- Pick a place, any place. - Tokyo.

Tokyo!

(SPEAKING JAPANESE)

This is all pretty incredible.

I mean, you'll never get away with this.

Oh, but we will.

In 24 hours, our grand opening launches worldwide.

You know what, I'm gonna give you one last chance.

Give us Good Burger back, or else.

Or else what?

Um, I don't know.

I didn't totally think that through.

Oh, I think we're out of time.

Oh, hey, dudes.

Can I offer you boys a lift home

in one of our self-driving delivery cars?

That's okay.

- We got our own ride. - Yeah.

Oh, you mean this one?

- Pull up the car. - (CHUCKLES)

DEX: Yeah, that's it.

Oh, yeah. That's my whip, yeah.

(SCREAMS) No!

- (SOBS) - You hate to see that happen.

Why?

You evil woman!

Maybe we should've used Burn No More.

You know what? I think we will take that ride now.

That's what I thought.

Okay, now wait. You don't have to push me! All right.

- Open door. - ED: Whoa!

(CHUCKLES) Now, that's cool.

Whoa! (CHUCKLES)

(GRUNTS) Bye!

(ED CHUCKLES)

DEX: I can't believe that lady.

Super-efficient Ed bots.

And her incredible technology and genius business model.

And this dumb, amazing, self-driving car!

This button makes the window go up and down.

All cars can do that.

(CHUCKLES) Not ones that don't have windows.

- (TIRES SCREECHING) - Oh, wait a second.

Why did we just turn left?

Wait, how does this car know where we're going?

Yeah, the windows stopped windowing.

WOMAN OVER RADIO: That's because I locked them.

Who said that?

- It is I, Katt. - Who?

Oh, really, guys? New owner of Mega Good Burger,

- Kurt's sister getting revenge on you? - Oh, that Katt. (CHUCKLES)

I hope you're enjoying the ride,

because it's the last one you'll ever take.

You mean the last one we'll ever take in this particular vehicle,

or the last one we'll ever take as in

something really bad is about to happen to us?

- KATT: The second one. - BOTH: Oh.

- (BEEPING) - It's starting to get aggressive.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

All right, we gotta get control of it!

- (HORN HONKING) - (TIRES SCREECHING)

- ED: You got it! - No! Oh, no!

All right! I got it.

Oh, man, I got it. Come on!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

- (TIRES SCREECHING) - This thing is hard to steer. Help me!

Okay! (GRUNTS)

Look out! Ice cream truck!

Oh, construction!

- (BOTH SCREAMING) - (WORKERS GASP)

I'm blind!

ED: I'm gonna die! He's gonna die!

She's gonna die! We're all gonna die!

(BOTH GASPING)

- Whoa, lady! - (BOTH SCREAMING)

(SNORTING)

Wall, wall, wall, wall, wall!

- (SCREAMING) - (TIRES SCREECH)

- BOTH: Whoa! - (TIRES SCREECH)

(SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)

I got an idea. Okay, we gotta find a park.

Dude, this is not the time for a picnic.

We are trapped in an out-of-control vehicle,

and you think I want to have a picnic?

Right, we don't have a blanket. Oh, but I do have some Brie.

Oh! Oh, my Brie!

DEX: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Look out!

- Whoa! Whoa! - ED: Okay!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

DEX: It's working! (GRUNTS)

Let's just hold it like this until it runs out of power.

ED: All right. How long is that gonna take?

DEX: Depends on how much power is left.

Power thingie is on F for "fairly empty."

- No! - Huh?

F is for "full," Ed!

Oh, this is gonna take a while, dude.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BOTH SNORING)

Oh!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BOTH SIGH)

- Thank goodness that's over. - (CHUCKLES)

- You okay? - Yeah.

Spinny thingie! (LAUGHS)

What's that? Where you going?

- Haven't we spinny-thingie'd enough? - ED: Yeah!

- Spinny thingie! - (RETCHES) Oh, yep, I'm gonna be sick.

I'm gonna be sick.

Good Burger was my life, Dex.

I can't work at another burger place.

There's not gonna be any.

Unless there's another job I can do.

Maybe I could be a...

- Heart surgeon! - (MONITOR BEEPING)

Whoa, this body's full of ketchup!

- Wait, that's not ketchup! - (FLATLINE TONE)

Or a world-famous opera singer.

(SINGING) I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude

We're all dudes

(CONTINUES HOLDING SCREECHING NOTE)

(GAGGING)

Or a weather man.

All you gotta do is press the button,

- weather shows up behind you. - Okay, huh.

(BOTH GASP)

- (REMOTE BEEPS) - (BOTH SCREAM)

- (REMOTE BEEPS) - (BOTH EXCLAIM)

Or a movie star.

NARRATOR: In a world of fast-food chaos,

two dudes set out to cure the world's munchies

in DoorDash Dudes 2: A Time to Deliver.

Gotta be honest, man,

I don't really see you as any of those things.

Oh, what am I gonna do?

What are either of us gonna do? This is messed up.

Yeah, but it's worse for me.

'Cause I have a family and mouths to feed.

You don't have to worry about that

because your family hates you and you have stock market.

Well, actually, Ed,

I haven't been totally honest with you.

I'm not as successful as you think I am.

As a matter of fact, I lost everything.

I came to see you because I had nowhere else to go.

I knew you would help me because...

well, you're a good friend.

But I haven't been a good friend to you.

(SIGHS) I'm so sorry I messed everything up.

But there's still time.

I'm gonna get you your job back.

I'm gonna get everybody their jobs back.

Okay, well, where's he gone now?

Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger.

Can I take your order?

- Can I take your order, doggy? - (WHINES, GROWLING)

I'd better hurry.

(EMPLOYEES CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

- Here you go. - (CHATTERING CONTINUES)

Hey, everybody! (CHUCKLES) I'm glad you could all make it.

Ed, I can't believe you got Good Burger to give us our jobs back.

- (CHUCKLES) - BOTH: We're so excited.

Hearing I got my job back makes me feel so much better.

I thought I'd never see Mia again.

I... I mean, see any of you again.

- You guys are like family. - ALL: Aw...

Well, uh, I have something I need to tell you all.

We don't have our jobs back.

BOTH: Are you kidding?

But you just said that...

You literally just called and said we had our jobs back.

- Yeah. - Hey, everybody.

I asked Ed to get you all over here so we could talk.

I didn't know he was going to mention all that stuff

about getting your jobs back.

I thought he'd say something like,

- "Hey, want to come play Bunny Smash?" - Oh.

Or, "Y'all want to hang out 'cause we're still friends?"

BOTH: We don't want to talk to you.

Look, I know I messed up.

I'm truly sorry. I'm gonna prove it to you.

But this is bigger than Good Burger.

This is about millions of fast-food workers

all over the world. And we have to do something.

Yeah.

Yes, Mr. Jensen?

Just to be clear, we don't have our jobs back?

Sadly, no. But Ed and I have a plan.

We're gonna get Good Burger back.

And to do that, we're gonna take down MegaCorp.

We just need some help.

- BOTH: Nope. - So we're supposed to believe

that you suddenly care about people other than yourself?

Yeah, sorry, but we're not buying it.

I'm going home.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(GRUNTING SOFTLY)

Mom, I'm home!

You're sleeping in the bathtub tonight.

- Guys, let's go. - Hey, wait, wait, wait.

- I have something to say. - Huh?

We can't give up.

(TRIUMPHANT THEME PLAYS)

Uh, is that it, Ed?

(MUSIC SWELLS)

Mmm!

You know what, Ed is right.

- We can't give up. - We're a family.

BOTH: And we're not going down without a fight!

Great speech, Dad!

(GRUNTS)

Y'all got all of that from what Ed said?

- Yeah, pretty much. - Yeah.

- Motivational. - So, Dex, what's your plan?

Oh, okay, great. Yeah, um, ahem.

All right, well, tonight, 50 Good Burgers

are going to be opening in major cities all across the world.

Now, MegaCorp relies on its technology

to set themselves apart from the competition.

We destroy the technology, we destroy MegaCorp.

We destroy MegaCorp, we get Good Burger back.

Look, this is MegaCorp's headquarters.

We need to get into this building

and then get into their Control Room

so that Mia, our little computer genius,

can get into their master server and disable the robots.

- Oh, wait... - BOTH: Robots?

- Real robots? - What robots?

I might need to back up a little further...

(DOOR OPENS)

(PANTING) I... I came as fast as I could.

Thanks for getting us our jobs back, Ed!

Well...

( INDISTINCT CHATTER)

REPORTER: I'm here at the grand opening of Mega Good Burger.

Ms. Bozwell, your thoughts?

Very soon, my family's dream of global fast-food dominance

will be a reality.

(SOFTLY) And so will sweet, sweet revenge.

Did you just say "sweet, sweet revenge"?

(CHUCKLING) No, I didn't.

You just said that.

(SCOFFS, THEN CHUCKLES)

(STAMMERING) Yeah. Yes, Peggy?

That's right. We are here at the grand opening

- of Mega Good Burger. - Where do you think you're going?

Uh, we're a news crew

following a very important news story for our news program.

Uh, yes, and, um, I have this

brand-new animatronic server bot

that needs to get into the restaurant, stat,

and switch out the faulty one that's in there

and replace it with this here new one.

JIMATHY: Wow, I've never seen one of these up close.

Wow, they look real.

Feel real.

(SNIFFS)

- Even smell real. - Hmm.

Why would you put a booger in its nose?

Sir, please stop touching the merchandise.

It's very delicate, okay?

- We need to get inside. - You need to show me ID first.

- ID? ID? - Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Mega Good Burger is opening in less than an hour,

and it cannot open properly if this robot is not in place.

And you're asking me about an ID?

Do you have an ID, sir?

'Cause I'm pretty sure everybody's gonna want to know

the name of the dummy

who held up the opening of Mega Good Burger!

There's no need for that. Come on in.

- Have a MegaCorp day. - Thank you very much. You, too.

- JENSEN: Let's go. - Whoa, not you.

Press entrance is on the other side.

- But, uh... - (MOCKING) "But, uh..."

- "Bu, bu." - JIMATHY: Other side!

Well, uh, we have been denied entry to the building!

We are being escorted out by security!

Well, what do we do now? Oh, Control Room!

Mr. Jensen, can you hear me?

JENSEN OVER RADIO: Yeah. What are we gonna do?

I don't know. You were supposed to get everyone out of the Control Room.

Hey, stop right there!

Stay perfectly still.

Is there a problem?

Oh, yeah.

You're going the wrong way. The restaurant's thataway.

Uh-oh, well, that is a horrible blunder.

MIA: Thank you for pointing us in the right direction.

You should probably get back to your security station now.

Nonsense, I'll take you there.

Like you said, this is way too important.

- We did say that, didn't we? - We did.

- Follow me. - DEX: Okey dokey.

We got caught.

JENSEN OVER RADIO: Oh, okay. We'll try and find another way in.

Try? Mr. Jensen, please tell me you got this.

All right.

I've got this.

Let's get Ruth and Ed 2.

BOTH: Okay, boss.

Ladies and gentlemen, do you know what time it is?

It's show time! Hit it!

- (FIREBALL BY PITBULL PLAYS) - (GRUNTS)

(CROWD GASPING)

(CROWD GASPING)

(ED 2 LAUGHS)

-Fireball -I saw, I came, I conquered

Or should I say I saw, I conquered, I came

They say the chico on fire And he no liar

While y'all slippin' He runnin' the game

- (ED 2 CHUCKLES) - (CROWD EXCLAIMS)

(ALL CHEERING)

Whee! Whee!

Whee! Ooh!

I... I think they're about to do the finale.

That's gonna be amazing!

Sticks and stones may break my bones

But I don't care what y'all say

'Cause as the world turns y'all boys gonna learn

That chico right here don't play

That boy's from the bottom Bottom of the map

M-l-A, USA I gave Suzie a little pat

Up on the booty And she turned around and said

Walk this way

(ALL CHEERING)

Just stay calm and be still.

Oh! Just got to fix one last little flabber-jabber here.

Just need to do some screwdrivering.

Thank you for showing us the right place to be.

No prob.

- (LAUGHS) - Nope. (LAUGHS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

- What's so funny? - I was just thinking about

- "screwdrivers" is a funny word. - (LAUGHS)

- That's so funny. - Right? (LAUGHS)

I never thought about it like that.

It is pretty funny.

Screwdriver!

(LAUGHS) A screw can't drive!

(ALL LAUGHING)

- (SIGHS) That was close. - Finally.

I thought I was gonna fart the whole time.

Ew! Okay, we just need...

(OMINOUS THEME PLAYS)

Oh, just...

- What do I do now? - Mess up orders or something!

Oh, but I'm nervous!

Paris, check. Tokyo, check.

London, check. Berlin, check.

- The countdown is in about... - Hey, guys.

Here's the extremely radioactive material you ordered.

- We didn't ask for that. - Yeah, that looks dangerous.

- Please, get that out of here. - Excuse me.

- Oh! Oh, no! - (LIQUID SIZZLING)

The extremely radioactive material's getting all over the place!

I'm so sorry. I was just looking for the bathroom. I got it.

Don't touch that! Don't breathe that in!

(COUGHING) Too late.

Don't... feel good.

What's in that stuff?

She'll be all right.

(COUGHING) Um, actually, my face kind of hurts.

Does anyone know where the nurse's office is?

- No. - Whoa.

- No! No! - Whoa!

No! No!

Is it that way? Oh, I'll follow you.

- I'll follow you. - (ALL LAUGHING)

Control Room secured!

JENSEN OVER RADIO: Control Room secured.

- (WHISPERING) Shoot! - JENSEN: Mia?

I don't know what's happening, but I'm excited.

- You in a bad mood? - I'm happy.

Oh. That's what it looks like. All right.

Okay, when I give the word,

we will unlock the doors.

And I'm going to order the first official Mega Good Burger

of the new fast-food era

from this magnificent

- technological marvel. - (GROANING SOFTLY)

You're going to change the world, my friend.

(FARTING LOUDLY)

(FARTING CONTINUES)

Oh, no.

Did y'all program this robot to fart?

Uh, no.

- DEX: Run! - Get them!

CECIL: It's a security breach!

CECIL OVER RADIO: We've got a security breach!

Are you serious?

We got a security breach!

That's why I take the batteries out of my walkie.

Ugh! Did you fart?

- No! - No, it was him.

I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!

(SPLUTTERING)

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

- (PANTING) - Whoa, dude!

- Good thinking, Ed! - (GROANS)

(LAUGHING)

Whoo!

- You're ruining my outfit! - Get up!

(ALL SPLUTTERING, PANTING)

Watch where you put that butter, dude. You're getting it everywhere.

- It's on my shoes, so slippery! - ED: Sorry, dude!

(PANTING)

(BOTH GASP)

Run, Mia, run!

I'm going up after them.

Forget it. I'm going down after them.

(HAMBURGER CHEESEBURGER BY THIRD TRACE PLAYING)

Oh. Mia, we found the Control Room.

This isn't the Control Room, it's just a sign.

- Come on! - Okay! All right.

- Mr. Jensen did it! - Yeah. Good job, man.

DEX OVER RADIO: Mia. Mia, you there?

I'm here. I got away.

- For now. - DEX: I'm not surprised.

You were always the quickest kid on the playground. (CHUCKLES)

- So, where are you? - Where they cut the potatoes?

Potato Room? We're in the Main Control Room. What do we do?

You need to go to the advanced system preferences

and find the master grid subfolder.

Master grid subfolder, okay.

Whoa, okay, there's a lot of files here.

Now you need to delete just the files with "/energy" in the name.

- This'll disable all the power... - (MACHINE RUMBLING)

(SIGHS) Ow.

- DEX: You okay? What's going on? - Yeah, I'm fine.

(ALARM BLARING)

(GASPS)

(GASPING)

Help! Help!

- (MIA SCREAMS) - Did she say "help"?

- Sounded like she said "snelp." - "Snelp" is not a word.

Mia! Did you say "snelp" or "help"?

I gotta go! You know what to do, right?

Uh, delete the files.

Yeah, but just the ones that say "/energy."

- Okay. - (KEYBOARD CLACKING)

Mia, did you say "snelp" or "help"?

Help!

Whoa! Potato Room!

Oh, Mia!

Help, Uncle Dex!

I can't get through!

Help!

No! Help me!

- (GRUNTING) - (MIA GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

Push, Uncle Dex!

I got you, I got you!

(MACHINE POWERING DOWN)

(PANTING) You saved me.

Yeah, I did.

How did you know the tray would be strong enough to stop the slicer?

I didn't.

- (DOOR OPENS) - (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

So, you thought you'd try to ruin my big night, huh?

Um, yep, that was kind of the idea.

(MOCKING) "That was kind of the idea."

Help me help you. Hey.

Um, he's hurt. He fell in butter.

Boss!

(EXHALES) I'm gonna need a raise, 'cause there's been a security breach

- in the Main Control Room. - What?

It wasn't our fault. In our defense, we were tricked.

No, no. We were being cautious. There was a tiny science man

- with a flask full of freaky fluids. - I don't care.

- Who's up there right now? - Well, um...

no one.

Okay, I need you to find Cecil and get up there right now.

Okay? Because we go live in five minutes

all over the world! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

- Five minutes, five minutes! Go! - Got it. Got it.

KATT: Thank you.

So, what are we gonna do with these two?

Uh, we can just see ourselves out.

No. Take them with you.

They can have two front-row seats

to watch my dreams come true.

And watch their dreams being crushed.

Oh.

(COMPUTER BLEEPING)

- All right. - Ed!

Yeah, almost done!

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, tickle 'em! Tickle' em good! (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

(GRUNTS)

- Ooh, is that Bunny Smash? - (ED CHUCKLES)

Did you get to the bit where the bunnies start flying?

Hey, hey, goon, focus!

Huh? What? Okay, okay. All right, okay, I'm going.

Ow!

Okay, okay, yeah.

No, no. No, no, no. No, no...

No, no. No. Oh, no. We're fine.

- We're good. - Everything's fine.

CECIL: (CHUCKLES) Great. We're going live in 60 seconds.

You hear that? Sixty seconds.

(LAUGHS)

Ed, you didn't delete any of the files?

(ED GRUNTS)

Mia! Mia, do you read me? Mia?

Mia... Yeah, she's still not answering.

Think they got to the computers?

- (FANFARE PLAYS) - KATT: Good evening.

I'm Katt Bozwell,

and welcome to the most monumental event

in the history of fast food.

(CROWD CHEERING)

When I press this button,

all Mega Good Burger locations around the world

will officially be open for business.

- Are you ready? - (ALL CHEERING)

(MOCK GASPS)

- (FIREWORKS WHISTLING, POPPING) - (CROWD EXCLAIMING)

I did it!

I mean, we did it.

Come on in.

Whoo! Okay.

I will now place

the first order of the new fast-food era.

Here we go.

Welcome to Mega Good Burger, home of the Mega Good Burger.

Can I take your order?

Why, yes, you can.

I would like one Mega Good Burger

and one Mega Good Fry.

One Mega Good Burger, one Mega Good Fry coming up.

(ELECTRONIC POP MUSIC PLAYS)

(CROWD CHEERING)

And there it is.

Here's your burger.

(GIGGLES SOFTLY)

(CROWD GASPS)

- Oh! - (MIA LAUGHS)

Just opening-night jitters.

- (KATT CHUCKLING) - Here's your fries.

- (CROWD GASPING) - (EXHALES SHARPLY)

(WHISPERS) What are you doing?

(WHIRRING)

(HIT 'EM WITH THE SAUCE BY JAY LEVELS PLAYING)

Hit 'em with the sauce

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

KATT: Oh, wait! Wait!

Wait! Stop!

Would you like a Mega Good Shake with that?

No!

Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Oh! What is happening?

Okay, what is happening?

Instead of deleting the files, right, powering off everything,

I just reprogrammed it

so everything would go wackadoo all over the world,

- in every location. - (ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)

- (BELL TOLLS) - (SCREAMS)

Hello, may I have one Good Burger, please?

You're a nitwit, he's a nitwit,

she's a nitwit, you're all nitwits!

That's not very nice.

Goodbye, nitwit.

Yee-haw!

(CROWD CLAMORING)

- WILMA: Control-alt-delete. - It's too much.

WILMA: Got to do something!

(ALERT BLARING)

Hit 'em with the sauce

(GASPS)

Make it stop! Make it stop!

We're trying. Nothing's working!

- Try! Do something! - No! No! I'm done.

- I'm done. - CECIL: No, come back here!

Okay, you got it, it's on you.

- You can do it. - I'm also done.

Where you going? What?

I'm gonna lose everything! My Lamborghini, my house!

Goons, goons! Help me, goons!

- No! - Uh-uh. I'm out of here!

Help, don't run! Help, don't run!

It's over. We're ruined.

Forget this. I quit.

You win! You can have Good Burger back.

- Yes! - Yeah!

- We did it! - Aw, man!

Please don't leave!

(ALL CLAMORING)

- Bye! - Bye!

This is much more entertaining than turning the power off.

Uh-huh.

Bye-bye, fake, punk-ass Mega Good Burger!

Bye-bye! (LAUGHS)

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

You ruined my big night!

(GRUNTING)

No!

Put me down!

(BEEPING, WHIRRING)

Why do you have ketchup and mustard?

Why is it pointing at me?

I made you! No!

(LAUGHING)

No, no, no, no!

Ha-ha, ketchup, mustard!

(ROBOT ED LAUGHING)

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

(EXPLOSION)

Hello?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Can someone get me down?

Looks like you got a little schmutz here.

Oh, do I?

Katt got a little ketchup and mustard on her face!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!

ALL: (SINGING) Katt got mustard and ketchup on her

Katt got mustard and ketchup on her face

On her face!

Get me down! Get me down! Ugh!

Thanks again for saving my life, Uncle Dex.

Come on, you're family. I'd do anything for you.

Dex, Ed, I'm sorry!

(LAUGHING) Bye, Katt!

No, no, no, no! Don't leave me!

- Come back! - ED: Let's go reopen Good Burger!

(ALL EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING)

- Yeah! - Mia, you're o... kay.

I mean, you're all okay.

Good to see you, too, man.

MIA: It's okay, Mr. Jensen.

You got this.

- Oh... - (MIA GIGGLES)

So, what happened?

BOTH: We thought the plan was to turn off the power.

Yeah, well, Ed here had a better plan.

I figured turning off the power to all the restaurants

would only delay the opening and not be enough of an impact

to put MegaCorp out of business.

So, I hacked into the master server.

All I had to do was modify the control prompts.

- (CHUCKLES) Yeah. - Wait, what?

So, basically, he reprogrammed the robots to go wackadoo.

That's my dad. (SIGHS)

(TWINS LAUGHING)

And so, while MegaCorp and all of the new Good Burgers

are officially out of business,

the original beloved Good Burger is back for good.

Yeah, that's right. We back, baby!

- We're back! (LAUGHS) - They're back.

- Back to stay! - Good job. Oh!

- Whoa! (LAUGHS) - Oh, that was lovely.

(CUSTOMERS CHEERING, WHISTLING)

- Yo, congrats on the reopening. - So much better without robots.

- Thanks, goons. - Yeah.

He's right. We just proved something very important.

People will never be replaced by technology,

because no machine can do a job as efficiently as a human being.

Excuse me, I asked for no ice, but there's ice.

Ah, no prob, dude.

Just get up in there.

Oh, there we go, like that.

Ha! Human efficiency!

I'll get you another one.

(SIGHS)

WOMAN: Hey, Ed, can I get one Good Burger

and one good apology from my brother?

ED OVER MICROPHONE: One Good Burger and one good apology from my brother.

Charlotte?

- You're here! - Hold that thought.

Can I get a side of fries with that?

- Go on. - I'm glad to see you.

- And I'm really sorry... - Hold on a second.

- Yep. - Can I get some pickles

and some cheese and maybe one of them chocolate milkshakes?

Continue.

I was just trying to say that I was sorry.

- For everything. - Hey, Mom.

Well, I was going to stay mad at you

but I wanted to thank you for what you did for my baby.

We're family, and that's more important than money.

I love you.

DEX: I love you, too! (GRUNTS)

But I get to eat free for life, right?

- (STRAINED) Yes, of course. - Mmm! Good brother.

Can I get four more burgers?

I think I want some onion rings.

I heard they was nasty, but I still want 'em 'cause they free.

And then I want some shredded cheese on the pastrami

that you're gonna make for me. I know y'all got pastrami back there.

(SINGING) I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude

We're all dudes, hey (CHUCKLES)

What you want to eat tonight?

Like a salad or something.

- Salad? - Salad.

That's your niece.

- Just get her a head of lettuce. - Okay.

I mean, that all sounds costly, but it's worth it.

'Cause I got my family back.

And I got my friends back.

We will never let anybody destroy

this incredible restaurant ever again.

- Oh! - (CUSTOMERS GASPING)

(ED 2 GROANS, SPITS)

Hey, got the new Burgermobile.

Now I just need to learn how to drive.

Ed, aren't you gonna say something?

There's only one thing left to say, Dex.

Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger.

Can I take your order? (CHUCKLES)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

It's another day to be better than yesterday

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Got everything I need and I got no stress in my way

-No stress, no stress -Ooh, ooh, ooh

Hey, Dexter, you thought about what to do

with your billion-dollar idea?

Permanent ice? It's a horrible idea.

That's too bad. 'Cause I figured out how to make it.

- Say what? - ED 2: Yeah, check it out.

- (FARTS, SIGHS) - Wow, check it.

Whoa! You did it.

- Yeah, we're geniuses! - (LAUGHS)

We're all dudes, hey! I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

Remix!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

Permanent ice. This is the greatest product ever.

I'll give you $5 million for five percent.

What about 10 million for zero percent?

- Deal. - (ALL CHEERING)

Yes, yes, yes!

(ALL CHEERING)

I'm feeling G-double-O-D

That means I'm good if you know me

I got my family and all of my dudes

I see you!

I'm not down in the dumps now

Up here shining like the sun now

-What a view -Whoa, feels good

- Let's go! - So smile with me

Come on, show those teeth

We don't need no beef

Unless it's a Good Burger Unh, unh, come on!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

Hey, Cindy-sometimes-Mindy and Mindy-sometimes-Cindy,

- what's up? - BOTH: Hey, Ed!

Now that it's so busy at the Good Burger,

we could really use some help in the kitchen.

So, we were thinking

maybe you could hire our sister, Lindy.

Hi, I'm Lindy.

- ALL: What do you think? - ED: Oh, no.

No, no, no, no...

We're all dudes

ED: Yeah, Good Burger 2!

Oh, oh, watch this.

Oh, two

'Cause we're all dudes

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

Ah, the life of a Good Burger employee.

Or boss. (LAUGHS EVILLY)

Part three, we're going to space!

(CREW LAUGHING)

DIRECTOR: Cut.

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

I'm a dude, he's a dude

She's a dude, we're all dudes, hey!

Jazzy

(CHUCKLES)

(DRAMATIC THEME PLAYING)

There's a burger place

On each and every street

But there's only one that matters

When you need something good to eat

Today's the day

When all dudes must unite

To come and do it together

For a cause that is just right

Give Good Burger back

Give Good Burger Back

You gotta give Good Burger back

Come on and give Good Burger back

Those mega-jerks screwed us over

Gave everyone the sack

Now you gotta give Good Burger back

You gotta give it back now

-Give Good Burger back -Hey

You gotta give Good Burger back

You gotta give it back now

-Give Good -You took it away

-You took it away from us -Burger back

No, now you gotta give Good Burger back

You gotta give it back now

You took it away You took it away from us

No, now you gotta give Good Burger back

You gotta give it back now

Give Good Burger back

Give Good Burger back

Thank you so much, ah

English - SDH